The one with Eureka O'Hara & Dan Poblocki

This week, David's daughter is turning to the dark side, Gavin's son is a liar, we drool over David's favorite DILF of the week, we rank the top 3 Fall candle scents, and this week we are joined by gay royalty Eureka O'Hara and Dan Poblocki who are here to talk about their new book "Jackson Bright in the Spotlight," dish on Eureka's new Divine project, and chat about how Dan knows 6 year olds better than we do by having written David's sons new favorite book, "My Brother's Butt is Haunted."

Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast

Transcript

Gavin: 0:00

You ready? I'm so I'm born ready. David, I'm sorry that I was late today.

SPEAKER_05: 0:07

It's okay.

Gavin: 0:07

Uh I was on the phone with a um my kids' math teacher, and he it might be Wait, we're not recording, right? You're just talking to me.

David: 0:14

Oh, I thought we were. We no, we are recording, but like I definitely want to start with my story because it's oh like it's well by all means.

Gavin: 0:21

Oh, then you're by all means, take control, daddy. And this is gig three art.

David: 0:42

So we know my daughter's a challenge, but this morning she woke up and she was like, Come cuddle with me in bed. And so I was cuddling with her in bed, and it was all very sweet. And today is Friday. The when we're recording, this is Friday, and it's their show and tell, and it's letter O. So we're like, What could we do? I said, What could we do for letter O? What would what would it be? And she's laying there and she's thinking, and then she rolls her little body over to me and she says, Auschwitz.

Gavin: 1:11

I'm so sorry that your stupid daughter doesn't know how to spell Auschwitz, but I said, I'm sorry, honey.

David: 1:17

I I misheard you. What did you say? She said, Auschwitz. I said, Honey, are you sure what what what she goes, uh Auschwitz, the the big bird. I said, Oh, ostrich. Ausrich is the word you meant. She goes, Yes, that's what I said. I said, Well, your honor, if you'll check the tape, you said Auschwitz, which was a very different show and tell. So um that's how I woke up this morning.

Gavin: 1:48

That I mean, hey, talk about like the smell of napalm in the morning, just a little Holocaust here. Oh my god. That's really great. That's really, really, really great. Yeah, how'd you wake up this morning? I mean, it with the doomed feeling that my kids would only be at school for about 15 minutes because it's a damn half day.

David: 2:09

Who invented half days? Every day's a half day or a day off, or a teacher holiday, or a pancake day or whatever. Or pancake day or something like that.

Gavin: 2:17

Oh, those teachers, they just never work hard enough, do they? Just always get in half. And they're paid too much. They're paid too much. They are paid too much, and they really do nothing for our children, for our society. Anyway, it's a half day, and that uh, of course, drives me uh pretty bonkers. But I was late here coming to our recording because I was on the phone with my son's math teacher because he um he for the very first time, I've never seen him actually work hard at studying anything. Most things come easy to him, like memorizing the amount of exhaust pipes on a car. It's a weird, it's a thing. He knows how many exhaust pipes are. He knows every single car in the highway. Yeah, he knows every single car in the highway from very far away from a Nissan to a DeLorean. And he knows soccer, right? He knows sports, he gets it. Anyway, he finally studied really hard for a test the other day, ended up getting a C. Now I'm like, okay, well, like, why'd you get a C what happened, dude? And he's like, well, she gave us the wrong thing to study, and then she gave us a wrong the completely different test. And I'm like, speaking of, okay, Your Honor, I'm gonna need to verify this. And um, so the teacher was just on the phone with me, and that's why I was late here. But she was able to say, he just like rushed through it, and he he just he's an A student and he just kind of has C's on tests because he rushes through it, kind of thing. But I'm like, so that whole business about him studying the wrong thing, he's lying. He is lying, he's lying to me. He is lying, yeah, he's a little liar, he wants to sugarcoat situation, he doesn't want to look like he's irresponsible, et cetera, et cetera. He's just lying, dude.

David: 3:58

He's just and he's bad at it, which is hilarious because do you remember when you were that age and you were like, I'm gonna lie to my parents, I'm gonna get so I'm gonna be, they're not even gonna know. Now we know what we look like when we lied. We look like a bunch of assholes.

Gavin: 4:11

But you know what? I gotta say, I got away with a lot as a kid, and I do think it's because I've an only child. So there wasn't anybody to throw me under the bus. I it just everything that I did, I got away with a lot of white lies. Lots.

David: 4:28

And that's not just because you are white, it's because the lies were white. But wait, speaking of call calls from your teacher, I'm not done with my daughter yet. I got also got a call from my daughter's teacher.

Gavin: 4:41

It is only 11 o'clock. Oh, okay.

David: 4:43

No, no, no, the other day. Keep in mind she's in pre-K3. She's in the lowest level of lowest levels, right? Lowest stakes. Absolutely. I get like a serious hushed tone call. And I'm like, okay, shit, or like she's lost an arm. Like what what they've they they can't find her, like what is like the big deal? And she said, Well, I just wanted to let you know that um And and again, I feel like she's telling me a cancer diagnosis. She's like, I just want to let you know that Hannah, um, she showed her butt to another student today. I said, I'm sorry, she what? Well, she she she she pulled her her pants down on the side and she showed another student her butt. And I just want to let you know that we've already called the other parents and we've had a conversation with them. Oh, and we've written up our like no, they were it was like they were literally it was insane.

Gavin: 5:35

It was like she had made a comment about the Holocaust, she had made an anti-Semitic comment in class. Correct.

David: 5:41

So all these things are connected, but I actually know what happened. She has like a pimple on her butt that's that's become her entire personality. She's like, Daddy, my pimple, my pimple, that's all she I can't sit, I can't do anything, right? So I know what she was doing. She's probably telling another kid, and the kid's like, what are you talking about? And she's like, Look, look at my pimple. But it was so funny, it was like there was like political unrest in Uganda, and like it was it was crazy. And I was like, Okay, this needed a massive intervention, but like hushed tones on a preschool teacher. I do so my your child is a liar, and my child is a sexual predator and a fan of the Holocaust, evidently.

Gavin: 6:23

So oh, that's hilarious. Um, so it is uh speaking of sort of um all of those things that are both demonic and dark and funny. I was weird. I was wondering how you were gonna connect this. I was written actually, you did you did pretty good. As if we haven't made it clear enough, do not forget that this Saturday, October 25th. A Saturday from this Saturday. Oh, I thought. Oops. Oh, great. You're gonna edit that part out, right?

David: 6:50

Oh, hell no. This is stinging. And I want people to know what day it is Cave and Lodge.

Gavin: 6:55

We are recording this April 11th. And how am I supposed to know what Saturday in October we're having this Halloween?

David: 7:02

Saturday, October 25th, because today is October 15th, as it says in the online.

Gavin: 7:10

So from 4 to 6 p.m. at Sugar Mouse NYC, which is hey, a bar, uh, a hangout place for children young and old.

David: 7:20

Those who you actually said it in a really well lovely way. You said it's kind of like a small Dave in Busters. So it's kind of got that vibe where it's like a bar and they have some like bar food, but they also have tons of arcade games and video walls and yeah. And it's gonna be awesome. Um, also, I want to make sure that if you are gonna go, please sign up on our evite link. That's just so we know how many like goodie bags and stuff to prepare. I think we already have like 80 people signed up, which is awesome. Yeah. So um, we really want to see you there um again, Saturday, October 25th from 4 to 6 p.m. at Sugar Mouse NYC. And I'm so sorry to all of our listeners who do not live in New York City. You're already mad at us. I know you are. I can hear you from Jersey, the country, being mad that we are not doing something there. Um, we will someday I will probably be living in a different country, so we can start doing stuff there.

Gavin: 8:06

And it'll be fun, even at some point, bringing us out to places like Chicago, as long as you don't have, you know, un civil unrest and military uh occupation. But anyway, it's not this Saturday, it's next Saturday, unless you're listening to this to this podcast the week of October, 25th, 24th, 23rd, 22nd, 24th, 19th. Jesus. Anyway, uh speaking of absolutely nothing, um, there is no good news in the world, right? Zero. Never. But guess what? Because we are America's finest news source, I do my best to seek out the good news out there. Okay. There is a TikTok um slash Instagram influencer slash, frankly, journalist who is um a fantastic trans woman known as Erin in the morning. And she usually brings a lot of bad news. Just a lot, a lot, a lot of bad news. But she brought some good news the other day, and she actually said, This gives me hope. Remember a year ago, um, there was a Supreme Court decision that um allowed a Maryland school district to let parents opt out of all books that are queer related. Remember that story? And unfortunately it passed. And um giving everybody the ability to frankly opt out of pretty much anything they want. And a lot of doomsdayers were like, oh, but this is gonna be such chaos because, you know, what if liberal parents want to opt out of parents uh books that are too, say, heteronormative, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Well, the fact is, the law was passed, um, the ruling was passed down, and in a school district of about 650,000 people this year, guess how many parents opted out of any queer-related books for their children? 43. Point being 0.03%. This is glass half full.03% of the parents give a flying fuck. And they're like, teachers, read what you're gonna do and expand my children's entire brains and capacity for understanding the human condition, and only 0.03% um uh opted out. Now, those idiots, those idiots obviously can just go fuck themselves. But the this gives us hope that ultimately, you know, it's the loudest, it's the smallest contingent that scream the loudest, and ultimately the rest of us are like, we're just trying to do our best to get by in the world. So it's just and we need these teachers to spend their time helping Gabin's kid not be a liar.

David: 10:32

Yeah, is really what we need them to be focusing their time on. Also, I mean, this is this is always the thing. It's like the less than 1% is the is it the oh trans women in sports? There's like three of them. So everyone fucking relax.

Gavin: 10:43

Yeah, exactly. Everybody just calm the hell down. Um, also, you know what? It's time to celebrate a Dilf of the week. Um I love a Dilf. Do you know the name? And do you know who he is, David Harbour? Um, I'm literally Googling it right now because he's the guy Oh, yeah, oh my god. I know why have we not had him as our Dilf of the Week recently? Well, you know what? We have we need we need to grow into people once in a while, you know. Now, David Harbour is not technically gay. I mean, uh, he's married to a woman. Yeah, but who knows what his proclivities are. But he has declared himself part of the daddy verse, according to Out magazine.

David: 11:19

Meaning he's just trying to jump onto like Pedro Pascal's like wag, like one is as straight as they come, even though he plays, but you know what I mean? Like David is like, maybe I could pretend to be queer.

Gavin: 11:29

Yeah, fine, that's fine. Everybody can just it aspiring to be Pedro Pascal is a really, really good thing. So David Harbour is definitely a doff of the week. He is married.

David: 11:38

For those of you out there who don't know who he is, he is he is the he is the the cop from Stranger Things. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Gavin: 11:44

And he's also he did a really great Santa Claus movie last year. I mean super violent, but hilarious scampy. It was so and he was sexy in it. He had to take off his Santa pseudo.

David: 11:55

So sexy sexy, yeah, and like he has had a variety of body shapes and all of them for me. Every single like and I have a ranking list. Maybe this can be our top three, like butt David Harbor bodies. But he is yes, uh Gabon, this is the best deal for the week you've ever had.

Gavin: 12:14

I'm gonna also actually I'm gonna send to you the article that I referenced for this, actually. And he's 50, just like you, and he went to Dartmouth. I mean, no idiot.

David: 12:24

That's smart, hot, and old.

Gavin: 12:27

There's a picture. Uh you know what? I'm gonna send this offline and I'll probably repost it and get us sued, and that would be great because we could use the attention of the picture of him in a skirt leaning back on um a couch in Out magazine. And that's the article that said he's part of the daddy verse and he's happy to be there. Also, he is a dad, he's not a biological dad, but he has two stepchildren with his wife, and that's just what kind of makes me say, oh, good for you even more, right? So, Dilf of the Week, David Harbour. You know what's not quite as hot as our dilf of the week? Our top three list. Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one.

David: 13:04

I was gonna do like what doesn't make you say aw or something like that. But anyway, what is our top three list this week, David?

Gavin: 13:11

It is the top three fall candles since. So this one was my uh uh topic this week. And uh part of this is I suppose just um maybe it's product placement. That's fine. I'm fine with that. I have um cheap but expensive smelling candles from something called Maison Louis Marie, and believe me, they were not expensive. They were these are not Henry Bend Bendel. Is that what his name is? Henry Bendel. Um but they I don't know.

David: 13:38

You're talking to a white barn girly. Like I'm the cheapest of cheap. Oh, you're right. I'll buy a Walmart candle and a hard.

Gavin: 13:44

Okay, so but but these are affordable, these aren't like hundred dollar candles, right? They smell like hundred dollar candles. So anyway, Maison Louis Marie, trust me, as pretentious as this is gonna sound, they are fantastic. Number three for me is the bois.

David: 13:59

Oh my god. Already you've set yourself up for failure, Gavin. You have you're trying to be a man of the people and talk about how, like, oh, these aren't expensive. You're speaking in French, Gavin.

Gavin: 14:12

Woods of Balancourt. That's we're just gonna leave it at that. Woods of Balancourt. Oh trust me, Maison Louis Marie. It is cheap, but smells expensive.

David: 14:26

Oh my god, Gaven. Just a man for people.

Gavin: 14:29

Okay, but another another candle um is um actually just leather, and I and I'm like, okay, of Maison Louis Marie, and it does smell leathery. That is my number two favorite, and it is so Gavin is into leather.

David: 14:43

That is the title of the And I'm into leather.

Gavin: 14:45

Yeah, I'm definitely into leather. And number one for me, this ended up being a last-minute entry, but it I think it very much is appropriate. Have you ever heard of that gay guy candle company? No. His logo is just a limp wrist hand. Love that. I love it. Lean into it.

SPEAKER_05: 15:02

Love it.

Gavin: 15:02

That gay guy candle company. And this candle is called fuck SCOTUS. Yeah. Now, does it smell like fucking SCOTUS? I don't know, but it's a great year-round scent. And so I encourage everybody to check out that gay guy candle company because he everything that he uh makes has a political bent on it. And you know I love it when it has a political bent. There you go.

David: 15:29

Just like Peroni's disease. Um, okay, so it's so these, these, these answers to this top three list this week, as always, very much speak to our personalities. Yours is about unaffordable French fucking candles. Um, and mine is the most basic answers. But I wanted to be honest. I want to be like, what do I want my house to smell like? So, number three, you may sit, you may argue this is not seasonally appropriate, but I like it. Spruce or pine. Okay. That kind of general vibe. I know it's more of a Christmassy smell, but I want to get I want to get the ball rolling. As soon as I gotta turn the heat on in the car, I want that spruce up in my business. Number two, continuing along with a basic bitch, chai tea. Chai tea, as we know, is mostly cinnamon, cloves, nutmegs, stuff like that. But all of those guys together in a candle, oof. I mean, it's it's basically you're smelling cinnamon, but like, oh, chai tea. And number one, the most basic bitch answer, and I'm sorry, but I have to be honest, it's my favorite smell of all time, fallen leaves. There's wait, it's like you had a candle and like yeah, no, yeah. Oh no, it's it's it's a scent on every major candle's like wrap or whatever. But fallen leaves, they it's basically kind of like the cinnamony smells mixed with some like woodsier kind of smells. Oh, it just it makes my my tits percolate a little bit. Um, and that's my top three lists. Okay, next week. What's next? Next week, we are um circling the drain of uh uh Halloween and October spooky season. So, in honor of our uh guest who will be coming up in what 15 seconds, which we're very excited about. I want to know what are your top three Halloween-themed drag names. Oh, ChatGPT, help me out. Okay, Gavin, this week we get two guests for the price of one. Yes! And this BOGO spans the two farthest ends of the queer spectrum. We have the nightlife of Los Angeles, California, and the antiquing of the Hudson River Valley. Their new book, Jackson Bright in the Spotlight, follows a boy who enters his local little miss pageant as a drag queen and shows his town just how fabulous he can be. And no, this is not Gavin's life story because it's not a sad tale of a midlife crisis and a receding hairline. It is, in fact, a new middle grade novel set to debut next week. So please, welcome to the show, authors of the book, and our newest honorary gatriarchs, Dan Plablocky and Eureka O'Hara. Welcome. Thank you. Wait, did I say that right, Dan? I didn't even check to see what your last name was. Yeah, you said you were going to, but yeah, pretty much.

SPEAKER_02: 18:11

Yeah, Dan Poblocki.

SPEAKER_00: 18:13

Okay, you nail it.

SPEAKER_02: 18:14

Just kind of rolling.

SPEAKER_00: 18:15

Pablocke. I have called you Dan Pablocki since I've met you, Dan. Wow.

SPEAKER_02: 18:21

I know, but that's it's it's key because it's I I wouldn't I wouldn't have you to say it any other way, Eureka, at this point. This is like at this point, that's my name.

David: 18:30

Yeah. I love that like we're like airing tea already out. Like this like working relationship because talk to you a little bit. Yeah.

Gavin: 18:38

This is just chamomile. I can't wait to get to the hard stuff. So oh, I see tea.

David: 18:43

I see the joke, Gaben. That was really lovely. Yeah, yeah. That was really good. Um come through dad. Oh, yeah, Gaben loves a dad joke. Okay, so Eureka, obviously, I know you from RuPaul's Drag Race. We're here. You're you're somewhat of you're somewhat of a household name in our household at least, but I don't know you to be a writer. So is this something new for you?

SPEAKER_00: 19:01

Yeah, this will definitely be my debut novel, but you know, I'm just a creative person. You know, I did a lot of script writing in college. I've written some creative production type stuff, but this will definitely be my first first book. I just remember like when I was younger, though, I always wanted to write like books that I wanted to read. So um, yeah, I mean, and luckily I got, you know, this incredible man, Dan, who is a writer, who definitely helped make this a home run. Um, so yeah, I mean, it's just it's been a blessing first experience as far as like debut novels go. It couldn't have been any better for me so far.

David: 19:38

It's so true. We say this on the uh on the show a lot. Like the best art always comes out of you wanting to see that thing exist in the world, whatever that is. Yeah. Um and Dan, what about you? You're obviously you've been a writer for a really long time, right?

SPEAKER_02: 19:51

Yeah, um, almost almost 20 years as a professional and just always loved telling stories that were. Since I was a little kid, getting in trouble for it. I rem the the thing that I that I share with the the kids that I speak to at school visits is that um I had a storytelling club when I was a little kid, and my friends and I would meet in in our backyards and in basements after school and uh I would try and come up with scary stories because that's generally like what I've I'm known for.

David: 20:24

You're a spooky bitch, I get it.

SPEAKER_02: 20:26

Yeah, spooky bitch, spooky bear. And um and yeah, this this this went on for a while until my mom started getting phone calls from that I was giving them all nightmares.

Gavin: 20:39

Wow. But how wholesome that you want you brought together kids in a club after school to tell stories that's I mean adorable. Except that I'm the yeah, I'm always the one who takes all of the brunt of the agest jokes here, but I want to be like, so what was it like to grow up in 1877 when you had nothing else to do but tell stories in your backyard?

David: 20:59

It's true. But the math math in because Dan said he's been a professional writer for 20 years and he's not 20 years old. So how is that possible?

SPEAKER_02: 21:09

Well, I am, I will tell you, I will I will share. I'm 48.

David: 21:13

Lean in lean in baby. Looking good. Still not the oldest person on this call, right, Gabe?

Gavin: 21:20

Yeah, thanks for that. Uh-huh. But it is, but it is uh that's fantastic that you were able to indulge in that, and I'm glad it didn't end up uh in going too far south, but you just instead of telling spooky stories to your friends, do you start writing them down and freaking out your teachers?

SPEAKER_02: 21:37

Yeah, mostly mostly myself. And then, you know, Jackson Bright is not a scary book by any means. Thank you. Yeah, but but um but I I mean I remember the first book I actually tried to the first novel I actually tried to make was like a retelling of Cinderella set in a high school with the queer kids. So I sort of entered into this whole sphere as as somebody who had more interests than just you know telling ghost stories and scary stories. And I've always kind of wanted to lean into making queer books for kids. So I'm so happy that Yuri here and I were able to do this. Awesome.

David: 22:22

Yeah, I mean that's this is awesome. Also, I love that like the people are gonna be like, oh, you're trying to make our kids trans now. Like, yeah, this is what we're doing. We're making you trans by our book. That this is exactly how we're gonna do it. Um, but but but this is like you said, Eureka, like having a book like this for kids maybe like you, or kids who would want to do drag at this age to see themselves in this book, which is I have not read the book yet, but I assume is a lighthearted take on this and a joyful take on this, um, would be really nice to see. Um, you know, I I I have a son who is six, who there's we there's some sugar in his tank. I don't know where that sugar is gonna come out, but I'm already thinking about this book as like as a great uh thing because he likes to see that stuff. Whenever he sees a boy wearing a dress or something, he gets very excited. He's like, boys are allowed to wear dresses. I'm like, yeah. And even in a queer household, I have to remind him of that because the world is very much saying, no, that's no, that's not what happens.

SPEAKER_00: 23:20

Well, the best part about Jackson Bright is that there's so many, I mean, there's so many like subsidiary stories, I feel like within this book. Like it's really about a friendship. Um, and it's about Jackson really standing up for their friend, but also like there is a sense of gender expression. There's a little piece of gender identity in there. Of course, there's some drag, but it's really not based a whole lot on like it just being about like this kid figuring out that they're queer or them figuring out that they want to dress in women's clothing. It's really about like family and friendship and relationships, and also it's kind of about like needing support and people around you to kind of put yourself out there as well, which is something that's really hard for queer people to do growing up, especially on their own. And I think that like obviously we learn as we grow up that um our chosen family and our friends and being authentically ourselves is the most important thing. And I think ultimately that's what Jackson learns. And that, of course, does include drag. It does include like his non-binary best friend, and it includes like some family dynamics and um some fabulous drag queens. So there's just like so much character to it that um, yeah. So every time I get to read it or talk about it, I re-fall in love with the premise, to be honest. I wish I had it when I was growing up, I was all me too, me too.

Gavin: 24:47

That representation is so important. I'm curious how many times in the process of writing it did you turn to each other and say, Do you think it will get banned? And then thought, I hope.

SPEAKER_00: 24:58

Hopefully. I think a couple times. I mean, even with and and with the editor too, there was like concerns here and there, especially around like the pageantry aspect. Like we were very careful about um, you know, expressing how um positive pageantry is versus like just relying on the negative aspects of it, how important it was not to take away these female experiences as well in the book. Um, as well as like the queerness. I was honestly really nervous because our illustrator has like some risque drawings on his Instagram, and I was fully like, I don't know, you guys. And um the publishers were like, No, it'll be fine. Because of course I worry about stuff like that. Being born and raised in Tennessee, like I know how quick people can turn on you when it comes to like so I don't know, everyone else is like, yay, maybe we'll get banned, it'll be uh a spectacle, and then I'm over here like, no, I want people to love it and read it and my baby.

SPEAKER_02: 25:56

Yeah, it I from what I understand from the publisher's point of view, it's a real pain in the ass when these when these books are challenged. So yeah, I I'm I I hope it I hope that it can reach as many kids as possible. And if it gets banned, that's not likely.

Gavin: 26:17

Um I obviously I was ingest about that. I mean, hey, if you can get the hand into as many hands as possible, I mean, um uh yeah, the the whole point is that we want people to see themselves and see how others are and and get sell as many books and read them as much as possible for sure.

David: 26:34

Yeah, but it is is like you said, Dan, like like it ha and and Eureka, having this book as a kid out there would have been really, really lovely. And I and I get the impetus to be like, we want to be careful uh so we can get it out there, but also we can't, Dan. I'm a I'm a fellow writer, I don't write novels. I I couldn't ever do that. But like you can't write from a place of fear. You can only write from a place of uh joy and and love and excitement. Um, and when you write from a place of fear, it's it's like I'm trying to write towards a trend. It's like we all see those TikToks that are three weeks too late, late, and we're like, girl, stop it. That shit is over. Um, but so uh it I'm glad that it you are pushing that a little bit because we need that. Like there are kids who need this exact book. And speaking of books, Dan, I want to ask you because you mentioned this to me on our pre-interview, and I got so excited because I have a six-year-old. You have another book, a a let's say uh Halloween-themed book called My Brother's Butt Is Haunted.

Gavin: 27:34

Was yeah, was that inspired by David's grinder handle by chance? But it definitely could be.

David: 27:47

But like you you are speaking, at least with having a six-year-old boy and a three-year-old girl, you are speaking right to the heart of the what they think the highest level of comedy is. Yeah. Tell us what a butt buttons like a haunted butt is like. Yeah, what's a haunted butt like?

SPEAKER_02: 28:03

Um, well, it it's funny how it's just at uh the Chappaqua book festival last weekend, talking with a a bunch of kids and their parents. And you know, you get a when you're at a table and people are walking by seeing this this cover and this and this title, a lot of a lot of sort of double takes, a lot of like instant smiles, and then some like kind of like side eyes, like, what? No, I can't. Um, you know, but to each his own, just like you know, just like with Jackson Bright. Like, I think you know, some some people are gonna get it, and some people aren't gonna get it. And uh I wrote it to make myself laugh. Yeah, and my sister sort of swung by the table, and she was telling everybody that it's based on a true story. So that is really funny.

Gavin: 28:53

That is autobiographical or just biographical?

David: 28:57

I see, I love I love a dark comedy sister. So my sister-in-law, who is one who was our listener up to this podcast, carried our first child. She was our surrogate, and she's an amazing person, and she but she has a dark sense of humor like me. So when she was out and about and she was showing, people would be like, Oh, you you know, you're pregnant, you have a baby. And she was like, No, that's my brother's.

SPEAKER_00: 29:18

Ah, pregnant with my brother's baby. That's my brother.

David: 29:21

No, I got pregnant by my brother's, but like, and like, come on, that is the kind of face that I want to like record that recording, right?

SPEAKER_00: 29:28

Um, but talking very East Tennessee. I come from very bad.

David: 29:33

Listen, East Tennessee, rural Florida, we get each other. We same literal tea like we actually get each other. But wait, you're Rika, I want to talk a little bit about authenticity in general with you because I I think, and I'm just an armchair quarterback, part of why you are such a popular person and why you have kind of risen to the top of the hundreds of queens who have been on RuPaul's Drag Race is that there is something earnestly authentic about you, not put on authentic. And and uh, that could be body positivity or just drag in general or transition, whatever the things that you have kind of been famous for. But I really think that like you have this really beautifully authentic vibe to you, even when you're even when you're as over the top as you probably could be. And my question is but first of all, that was my like that was a little sugar on top. So, like, yeah, get your medicine. Thank you. But then to lure you in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. To lure you in. Yeah, okay. Well, why are you such a fucking bitch? No, just kidding. Um, but but I I loved We're here, partly because of that. I'm curious as to what your experience was creating that show.

SPEAKER_00: 30:41

Oh my gosh, my experience. Well, you know, you grew up in Florida. You know, we did a Florida episode. You know exactly what my experience was like. Um it was nerve-wracking, but honestly, it was such a blessing. You know, I grew up in a small town too, so that's kind of what we were exploring was like um the areas that aren't really spotlighted very often when it comes to queer communities. So um, yeah, I think that's it. It was just, it felt like I was back, you know, growing up. Sometimes I felt like a small child, but I was able to use what I learned through my own experiences. I think that's why I was able to relate with like a lot of the people we worked with. It was my favorite job I've had so far, besides writing Jackson Bryant. Obviously. Good recovery there. Um, but yeah, no, it was amazing. You know, I think that's the authentic thing. I think it just comes from like growing up and so many years pretending. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, I think we all can relate in some way as queer individuals that like we have to play a part, especially in those smaller towns. So, like, you know, that was what was exciting about doing something like we're here, or even like the story of Jackson Bright, is like finding that authenticity within ourselves to be able to also like be the example for other people, which is actually what um Eva Jackson's best friend kind of gives the story plot, I think, which is gonna to me one of my favorite parts of the book is like, you know, um, he originally wears the dress to kind of support them, but also like to express themselves. But ultimately, like Eva's strength gives him the strength. So I don't know. I just um, and that's what I got from like Bob and Changelow being in those small towns when we're here. Plus, we had like, you know, 25, you know, heteronormative men that had our backs with like giant cameras and big guns.

David: 32:33

So I'm gonna say because as a viewer, I I would feel nervous when I'd see you slomping down a dirt fucking road. And I was like, these motherfuckers are gonna get murdered. But you know what? I I think the surprise, the surprise for me was what I think we all expect with watching a show like that is like, oh, these conservative kind of like straight people will see something new with drag and kind of change their mind. What I thought was the most beautiful takeaway was often these small towns, the queer people inside of them being like, thank you for coming here. We don't have we don't get this. This is not something we get to have. And there was it weirdly, it was almost like a show for them too, um, which I thought was like a really kind of fun bonus. Because I walked into it going, okay, we're gonna see some straight people, but on drag, you're gonna be like, oh, okay, I guess it's not that big a deal. End of list, you know.

SPEAKER_00: 33:19

It was really creating like a little safety bubble for these people. That was really the most beautiful part of doing it. I still talk to so many of the drag children and people that we worked with. I mean, they love blowing me up because I I respond to text messages. Not that I'm not nothing against my other sisters, but um, I'm just I'm more motherly, maybe. So I'm like very, you know, so I feel like they're all my children at the end of the day. I'm very Big Mama T, you know, so I just I loved it.

Gavin: 33:48

Wait, so speaking of Big Mama T on Gatriarchs, we talk a lot about how there are a million different ways of making a family. And frankly, in 2025, it is the family you choose um so very frequently. And there's, I mean, as long as you have, you know, love and warmth and support, etc., that's the family. So, in fact, our very first uh guest was Craig Ramsey, who um had basically, I mean, it uh they took their sorry, David. Can you remind me he had his sister's kids or his sister-in-law's kids? Or his sister's, yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you. And you know, it was a family affair of taking over, which is somewhat like you, right? You your mom took uh uh took in your sister's kids and you helped raise them. What I mean, you are talking about Big Mama T, but what was it like parenting from that experience?

SPEAKER_00: 34:40

You know, I just I it's so funny because like a couple weeks ago I went back home to Tennessee to visit with my family. And you know, now my nieces and nephews are full-grown adults. Uh-huh. They're like nine, like 18, 19, and 20, like in college, or my nephew has like a full-time, like nine-hour-a-day job, six days a week, like full beard, vape in his hand. And I'm just like, what happened? You used to be this little tiny man. Um, but I'll never forget when I was 15 years old, he moved in with us. He was two years old. My older sister had gone to prison. Um, you know, I have a very colorful family. And my mother, um, she was like the big mama that I learned how to be the big mama from. She took in those kids. And um, I I mean, ultimately she had to work. And so I had to help take care of them. Then my mother got sick and passed away. So me and my twin sister ended up taking care of them while my older sister was in prison. So um, it was amazing. There's just like, I don't know. It's kind of like one of those things where it's like, I used to be anti-dog people, you know what I mean? And then you get a dog and you're like, I'm obsessed, and I can't imagine my life without this dog. And it's the same thing. It's like, you know, I never thought that I could um love something so much and not even like, and it's not, I mean, it's my blood relative, but it's like it's not my child. But at the end of the day, I would put my life on the line as if it was. And it's so sweet because like they've seen me go through all these transitional phases in my life too, literally transitioning. Literally, and um, yeah, quite literally, and um, you know, I they it's just so cool because then you know, the new generation just gets it differently. You know, the my niece is I think kind of pan she identifies as. My nephew is a country man.

David: 36:33

I mean, he is with a K, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 36:35

Girl, country with the K and some R's in there somehow.

David: 36:40

Is that umlaud? Why is that in there?

SPEAKER_00: 36:44

I don't know, but he is just such a gentleman to me, and he's so respectful. And it's just, oh my god, it just gives me my whole life. Which they're actually my niece is a reader, so she's already like begging me to send her just the transcript of the book. So she'll definitely be reading that. I don't know if I'll get him to. Maybe I can get him to listen to the audiobook out of the movie.

David: 37:05

You know, it's so funny. Like, first of all, I want the title of this episode to be like Eureka Ahara calls children just like dogs. Um, but also but no joke, no joke. I tell people who are about to have uh their first kid, I'm like, it's like having a puppy because they're up all night, they don't know how to pee by themselves, you are so exhausted more than you could possibly imagine. Everything is new, your house is a fucking disaster. Your sandwich, like it is it is actually the same thing. Um, exactly. So dogs are kids. Great. Um Dan.

SPEAKER_00: 37:39

I mean, in the queer community, they are. Oh, I mean, like, seriously. Yeah. Um, Dan. My dog is my baby. Don't try it. Okay.

David: 37:46

Wait, please don't tell me you have like a fucking stroller for the dog.

SPEAKER_00: 37:50

Oh my god, leave me alone. Go back to asking Dan a question.

David: 37:55

All right, you're out. You're you're not a gay truck anymore. Um, wait, Dan, I have a writer-y question. Now that you've kind of written quite a few um books in this like youth area and with a lot of queer characters, do you find yourself professionally getting sort of narrowed in a little bit? And is that something you're happy with? Because this is where you want to stay, or do you want to write things that aren't in this at all?

SPEAKER_02: 38:19

I mean, it it's funny. I'm I'm working on something right now that is for so this middle grade age range is where I've sort of found a sweet spot. And right now I'm working on something for teenagers, like I would say maybe 14 and up. Um and it's horror and it's queer, queer characters doing, you know, filling this space that I feel like is horror is queer in so many ways.

David: 38:52

And um there's gotta be a campy factor in uh a lot of crying, a lot of shirtlessness, a lot of murder. It's all the same.

SPEAKER_02: 39:01

Running running, yeah, you know, running from people, like that's what I do. I I tend to run run away from people all the time. Yeah, emotionally running away from people. Yeah, totally. Yeah, yeah. But um, I yeah, I I am trying to, you know, like just just like how I just put out this book for little little kids, I'm trying to like branch out and and become uh more of a you know, not that people writing for middle grade aren't grown up, but I want to be more of a grown up. I want to be seen as more of a grown up because there's there's something about being in the publishing industry as a children's book author that and especially as a as a queer person that I feel like we felt fan for a little bit. Um you know, um there's and I I don't want to do that. Like and and I do, I found myself from the very beginning, you know, social media wise, you know, oh I can't post this this first crap. Um I can't. What will what will librarians say?

David: 40:02

You can you can all the thirst traps, please. All you want.

SPEAKER_02: 40:08

You know, but I see like I see like a lot of other guys on like Instagram or like you know, hotties anywhere, and and they're they have like thousands of followers, and I'm like, I'm as cute as them.

Gavin: 40:21

You need you just need your finsta. You need multiple finstas all over the place. You get the beauty of being able to have um doppelgangers all over the place, all over the socials. I mean, I think this you can turn this into something very positive. This is why you get to have your YA section Instagram, your children's section, and your adult Insta.

David: 40:42

I mean, we had I forget his name. We had an author on about 15 episodes ago who wrote a uh a kind of a queer series, but he had he had two Instagrams. He had like kind of his private, like thoughty one or whatever. But you know, this is the like kind of nuanced conversation that that I think is interesting to me, which is like this authentic thing that we're all striving to do and we are attracted to with the balance of a professional a world where it's not always rewarded to be authentically you all the time, right? I mean, it's true. Like we we we kind of have like we want to be totally ourselves all the time, but like we do have to scoot in the edges sometimes, and that that personally frustrates the hell out of me. Like, I'm like I have fallen into this like preschool television world, which I did not expect. And I feel the same way, we're like, no, no, no, no, I'm really dirty and gross. I want to write for the modern day sitcoms, and they're like, Yeah, but maybe you should come over here. And I have to kind of like I don't want to like push in the edges, but sometimes I do because I want to pay the mortgage.

SPEAKER_00: 41:47

Yeah, I don't know. I I randomly relate, and this is crazy because as a drag queen, I feel like I I have the um the privilege to kind of get away with a little bit more, you know, to push the boundaries. But even myself, like if for you know, especially after being on HBO, like I immediately started like I actually was taught doing that more mainstream experience past just doing drag exclusively um because I had such responsibility for like the kids and what we were doing and what we're representing. It taught me so much about kind of censoring myself a bit to where, you know, now it's like I want to be, you know, a part of me is always gonna be that like hateful, divine loving drag queen that wants to just like curse everyone out and talk, you know, the most smack as possible. But at the end of the day, like we're releasing uh a mid-grade book, and I'm already, you know, there's already some kind there, I'm sure there will be controversiers. There has been, you know, coming from Tennessee specifically around drag, I have experience in that.

David: 42:47

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00: 42:48

So it's like, yeah, sometimes we just gotta Yeah.

David: 42:51

Sorry to interrupt, but I think those are both authentic parts of you. I just think I think that's what I'm learning, is that like that middle grade version of you, which is a little more sanitized or whatever, it's not that that's not you, it's just a more narrow part of you versus, like you said, the the divine you know version of you is also authentic to you, which is a good transition into aren't you doing something? I keep using the word transition, I swear that's not a the read for you. Um it's a full-on read. Yeah, like transitioning to Eureka. Um so aren't you doing your Eureka? I mean, uh a divine project right now.

SPEAKER_00: 43:25

I love that I was able to accidentally segue into you asking me about this. That's so incredible. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, perfect transition with Eureka. Very transitional moments that we have on this. Uh yeah, I know. I'm actually working on a play called Dition with Divine. I'm doing a script read in LA on the 20th of October. It's actually Divine's birthday on the 19th. She turns 80 or would have this year. So the 19th, I'm doing a stage read of the play in Palm Springs for her birthday. Wow. And then we're doing another one the night after on the 20th at the Renberg Theater in LA. Um, and the goal is we're working on getting this off Broadway next year, which is really exciting. My my dream, honestly, um, past like riding and drag and acting and all these things, is I want to win the Oscar. And I've all I keep telling myself it's gonna be for playing Divine in the biopic. Um so so that's uh that's my life goal.

David: 44:19

So how do you do this divine? Like, I my only experience with Divine is watching, is it flamingo? Pink flamingos, yeah. And just being horrified. Horrified. Horrified by what I saw. And I've since I've obviously learned a lot about her, but like it how could you possibly do that? And then turn around and be like, so children reading literature, like that is a that is a hard turn to do. A hard turn to do.

SPEAKER_00: 44:49

It is, yeah, but I think that's what's so sorry, real quick, because I am obsessed with the story of Glenn Millstead, which is Divine Outside of Drag, and the desire that Glenn had to be an artist and taken seriously as an actor. And it's so relatable in a time period where, you know, obviously what he was doing was so ostracized and it was so over the top and insane, but it was also a way for him to um kind of let go of a lot of the bullying and hardships that he went through, as well as like there was such a um, it was cut so short, his life was. Um, and it just it's a beautiful romantic story, but it's also dramatic and queer and um intimate and so special. So that's the story I want to tell. More than just like the John Waters Muse of Divine, it's also about like the human behind it and like where um that drag queen became an outlet for this human being to be able to be accepted and expressed and like belong in a in a industry, you know, and find a place whenever there wasn't a place for anyone like that. It's really the ultimate story I love about it.

Gavin: 45:56

Oh my god. Like, I that's a huge project, and how very exciting.

SPEAKER_00: 46:00

Like, congratulations on that. Selling it to everyone, as you can tell. I'm ready. Get me in the room. Just manifest that shit.

SPEAKER_02: 46:06

Manifest I can't wait, Eureka. Come to New York and I would be there in the front row.

SPEAKER_00: 46:12

Yes, yes, that's the goal. So, and you definitely will, Dan, because I will pull you out and make you if I have to.

David: 46:19

Dan, call me. I want to come with you. I want to see it. Like, I will be in the front row with you. I I think the challenge, doing something like that, is being able to keep the audience beyond the shit eating, like all the big flashy stuff. Like, how do you get not let that overshine the story you're trying to tell about Glenn and everything like that? That woof, that is a that is a big, big challenge.

SPEAKER_00: 46:41

Okay, so it's a big order, I know.

David: 46:43

Yeah, that's a big that's a big order.

SPEAKER_00: 46:44

So they said doing a queer book about uh young kid entering a drag queen pageant was a big order too, but it's been done.

David: 46:52

And look, it's been done. We did it.

SPEAKER_00: 46:54

It's done.

David: 46:54

We did it, and and so now that you've done it, obviously they'll think the book comes out next week. But um, once this book comes out and it's a huge New York Times bestseller, is there something in the future? Is there more in this team that's been created? This dream team?

SPEAKER_00: 47:07

That's the hope and prayer, and you know, from your mouth to God's ears. I would work, I would follow Dan into the pits of God forsaken hell if I had to. Because uh he's just the best to work with.

SPEAKER_02: 47:21

Early, early on, Eureka. I I I mean, I was pitching you sequels, sequel idea to this book, and I I do think it would like I I have a really fun idea, and I think um, you know, we we could definitely definitely keep going with Jackson. But I know you have you I don't know if you have anything else announced, but you're you have you have other books coming, right?

SPEAKER_00: 47:42

Yeah, I have another book. It's a mystery called Clover and the Carousel Hotel. So it's a different kind of book, which is exciting, but um, yeah, so I definitely have that coming next year. But as far as Jackson Bright goes, because that's what we're here to talk about. Also, I've been talking with my agents about because I what we, you know, me and Dennis like we see this also as a film, you know what I mean? We could see this being a series or a film. So we have high hopes for this story.

SPEAKER_02: 48:08

I want it, I want it to be a musical.

SPEAKER_00: 48:11

I mean, well, yes, a musical.

David: 48:14

A musical you're combining like it's like a almost like a Billy Elliott meets like a kinky boots or something like that, where you like that would be really fun. That could be really fun.

SPEAKER_02: 48:24

That's exactly that's a that's a perfect elevator boot.

David: 48:26

Yeah, there's there's been a lot of drag on Broadway, especially about 10 years ago, but we've we've had a minute to where now I think it could feel exciting and edgy again.

SPEAKER_00: 48:35

Um well, and that's the best thing about it is there is drag in it, but it's not like it's not just about drag. There's so much I can't wait till you get to read it and experience the stories in the book. It's it's a really special story. And Jackson's such a shining light, you know.

Gavin: 48:51

Yeah, we look forward to that too. Uh well, I am so curious also. Can you just tell us one of your happy moments um from your drag race time or when everything fell apart?

David: 49:02

Because we love a shit story.

Gavin: 49:03

Oh, that was what I was I was I was really hoping that David would m modify that for me.

SPEAKER_00: 49:09

So thank you, David. Okay, so you gotta have a good transitional story about drag race. And you know, it always starts with like you coming into the workroom happy, you tell your like family honoring, sad story, and then you win the mini challenge, then you win the maxi challenge, then you um uh get your now, you get your Rupaeter badge, is what they call it.

Gavin: 49:32

So there's a formula that there's a template you can follow.

SPEAKER_00: 49:35

No, yes. Um, I would say, I mean, obviously, like my most traumatizing experience was getting hurt on season nine, but the most fabulous experience was coming back on season 10. Um, yeah, I don't know. My but to be honest, I'm just gonna say this since we're talking about family and stuff, the season 10 finale, my mother was sick, but she was able to come to the finale filming. And I'll never forget literally to this moment in my life, the most amazing, beautiful experience moment, uh successful, iconic, whatever, was um after the lip sync, the crowd was chanting my name, and my mom's name is Eureka as well. So she was setting there and she got to hear this entire auditorium chanting her name before she passed away, and she got to see me in that moment. It was like that was like my favorite moment of life so far. So, and probably will never get taught, to be honest.

Gavin: 50:32

Yeah, well, the and it shouldn't be, it's a it's in its own special category, but what a proud moment for your mom to see her baby Eureka just really shine. That's fantastic. Thank you for sharing that.

SPEAKER_00: 50:43

And to be messy, before she passed away, she wouldn't let me take her name legally, like as my living self, because it was hers. And as soon as she passed away, I changed my name to Eureka.

SPEAKER_05: 50:54

She said, bitch, what are you gonna do? Is what you don't need it now, girl.

SPEAKER_00: 50:58

So RIP, Eureka, love you, mama.

David: 51:02

I mean that is that is actually it's it's it's funny, but it's also incredibly sweet because I imagine, like me as a dad, as a relatively newish dad, like the the amount of joy I can imagine she ingested for you. You know, she is she is just it's just coming right to her, is is probably probably the best moment of her life, too, you know.

SPEAKER_00: 51:21

Oh, honey, she she wasn't the most mobile person, but for some reason that day, she was on the pink carpet. She had her Chanel scarf on, she was getting fellas, she got to live her superstar fantasy too. So that was a little incredible.

Gavin: 51:35

Having an entire audience sh chant her name. Yeah. That nails it.

David: 51:39

That nails it amazing. Well, Dan, Eureka, thank you all for demeaning yourself by being on our stupid little podcast. Please tell everybody where can they buy this book?

SPEAKER_02: 51:50

Oh, everywhere. Um, it it'll be it'll be in all your favorite local bookshops. Love that. I'm sure it'll be online.

Gavin: 51:57

Awesome.

SPEAKER_02: 51:58

It'll be in the big, big, the big uh chain stores. Um it'll be in your libraries, I hope. And yeah, yeah.

Gavin: 52:07

Do you also have your own website where we can uh also follow the progress of the book as well?

SPEAKER_00: 52:13

Uh Amazon.com. Okay. You're like geocities.

Gavin: 52:19

Dan did such a great job of avoiding just sheer capitalism there. And you rehearse you brought it in with an exclamation point. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you guys. Transitioned it. Transitioned it. Thank you guys. Thank you so much, y'all.

David: 52:36

So, my something great this week is about me and my ego, um, and not helpful to the listener. But um, it has been so fun this week watching passers by in front of my house clock my Halloween setup, and I hear them through the window go, Oh my god, that's so crazy. I see them taking pictures. Nice. I see them like I uh we went to our kids' school, and the principal was like, I walked by your house and I FaceTime my friend because she loves this kind of stuff, and I showed her your yard. And I was like, this is filling me with such fucking joy this week. Um, so my something great this week is people liking my Halloween display. What about you?

Gavin: 53:12

So my something great this week is an Instagram handle that was held shared by a friend of mine, and it's called at Hot Dudes Reading. Are you aware of Hot Dudes Reading? Very aware.

David: 53:23

I I have I have known about them for no, no, but some people everything no, our listener out there might not know it. Please tell us what it is because it's great.

Gavin: 53:31

It is uh pictures of Hot Dudes Reading in cafes, lots of international folks. Half of these people are French. But um, but then what is hilarious is the women and presumably men who write the captions about these people. For instance, on this fine day in January, let's remember that not only is hope around the corner, but so is summer. In celebration, here's a level 10 smoke show. I'm about to pull that fire alarm behind him and drag him to the security line so I can play TSA agent and give him a full pat down. And then behind him, there's a sign that says emergency exit only. Well, he's reading his biceps are flexed, and he's reading a book with coffee. The captions are genius, the pictures are hot, it's hilarious at Hot Dudes Reading. And that's our show. If you have any comments, suggestions, or general compliments, you can email us at Gatriarchspodcast at gmail.com.

David: 54:28

Or you can DM us on Instagram. We are at Gatriarchspodcast. On the internet, David is at DavidFM Bond Everywhere, and Gavin is at Gavin Lodge on middle age crying in the bath.

Gavin: 54:39

Please leave us a glowing five star review wherever you get your podcast.

David: 54:44

Thanks, and we will read with hot dudes with you next time on another episode of Shut Up Gatriarchs.