The one with political stratagist Bill Burton

This week, we dive into the listener mail bag, Gavin is mad that kids won't dance, there is SOME good news in the world, we rank the top 3 Halloween-themed drag names, and this week we are joined by political strategist and Barack Obama's BFF Bill Burton who talks to us about the state of the world today, who is secretly gay in Republican politics, and why, even amongst all the chaos, there's cause for hope.

Questions? Comments? Rants? Raves? Send them to GaytriarchsPodcast@gmail.com, or you can DM us anywhere @GaytriarchsPodcast

Transcript

David: 0:00

Um what are you just what are you laughing at? Oh I was just laughing at an idea I had for a top three list and it was really funny, so I thought I'd I was laughing at myself for being so comedically student.

SPEAKER_01: 0:15

Well, if no one else is gonna do it, you might as well. Shut up. And this is Gatriarchs.

David: 0:36

So here at Gatriarch the Podcast, we get you know, we get DMs, we get emails, we get a lot, we don't get a lot of responses from you, but we get enough, right? And I would love more.

Gavin: 0:46

We get enough that it seems like we're really neglecting our email because we're so inundated with messaging to not really make any money.

David: 0:55

But I want to just give you, I think all of our messages, all of our uh listener responses fall into two categories. Uh-huh. And I'm gonna read two versions of some of the responses we've got in the past couple of months. So the first general, I feel like bucket we get responses is like nice, loving, kind of thank you emails.

Gavin: 1:13

So we got When are we gonna get hate mail? I mean, not that we should want it, but remember remember a hundred episodes ago when other, say, podcasters or influencers were like, oh my god, we get so much hate, we just have to block it out. And I we were like, we don't get it. They're like, just you wait. Well, nope, we're still waiting.

David: 1:31

That didn't happen. So um, we got another message from our favorite New Jerseyan. No, our favorite Jerseyan.

Gavin: 1:39

I that you you need to go back and record that because how offensive.

David: 1:43

I know that was really offensive. I'm so sorry, Steve. Um, but he sent us another message because we mentioned him in the show and he said, Wait, let's clarify where he's from. It is not a good thing. He lives in Jersey, the country. Do you think he's not New Jersey, the state?

Gavin: 1:57

The small island between France and the United Kingdom.

David: 2:01

Listen, we have listener everywhere. Um, but he sent us a lovely uh email that said, Alas, I cannot attend your New York gathering. The Atlantic Ocean remains stubbornly situated between us, and I'm far too sensible to swim it for a podcast meetup, even one as allegedly delightful as yours. First of all, let's talk about the cadence and the the the like the like syntax and like all the delicious words he's using. Um thank you for the shout-outs. You were impressed by yourselves. I shall listen about it from my somewhat remote Bali. Bailey Bailiwick. Bailiwick, where I remained your devotee. Do try not to let the turnout inflate your egos more than necessary. Yours from the pristine shores of Jersey, Steven. Now, that is a that is a poem. That is Shakespeare.

Gavin: 2:43

And you don't really know if he's um complimenting us or utterly insulting us, but he's this is absolutely the compliment.

David: 2:52

This is a lovely, flowery, poetic, beautiful message. So we I don't know. Half of our stuff is that, right? The other half. On the other hand, may I this is the kind of shit we get. This is from David Morganstern, previous guest from uh Gay Sharks, who uh runs the the the Gaddies account.

Gavin: 3:11

We're trying to help him out, right? I mean, he came on our show to to tout his new line of clothing, which everybody should buy and which we have and have sported. And but this is the kind of slimy person.

David: 3:24

You've ruined the momentum of this joke. You've totally derailed the momentum I was building to the comics. That's why I hired you, Dave. This is why you just stop talking. That's all that's all you gotta do. Okay. All right, so let's pretend like I just read the really nice email and now it's transitioning to this email. Okay. He says, My favorite part about the pod is that because you are all such messes, whenever I listen, I feel so much better about me and my life and my capabilities. You guys are so much cheaper than Lorazapam. So, and now this is where, Gavin, you would say what you had said before, which is we try to insert insert joke here. Insert joke here. Exactly. But we appreciate it though.

Gavin: 4:09

And it's just the right amount of the right amount of snide cattiness that we would expect here.

David: 4:15

It is, it is definitely the language we speak, and we we are not actually being shady, David. He's lovely, we love him, but it is very funny. Because this is listen, this is the tone of our show. Sometimes it's sweet, and sometimes it's caddy nonsense. And so we just want to read you some of our this is our little mailbag section. So you're welcome.

Gavin: 4:32

We'll definitely turn this into a t-shirt. You guys are so much cheaper than Laraza Pam. Ooh, hey, David, that is a great shirt. So this weekend, I went to a concert with my daughter. It was her Christmas present from last year. We went into New York City to see Tate McRae, which everybody there are many, it's 50-50 whether people our age even know who she is, which definitely makes us out of touch. I definitely don't. I which makes us really out of touch. Because when it really comes down to it, she is the Britney Spears of 2025 right now. She's got uh lots of top tens already. She you know more than of her than you realize. She's a major dancer. I have totally dismissed her for just being, I don't know, basic and and I can't distinguish between her music. But we were at the concert and it was, you know what? It was fun. It was fun. She the dancing was great. Um, she really brought a show. And at one point during the concert, she goes, you know, everybody, uh, I'm getting older this year, and it's just crazy how things are just passing by us so quickly. When I turned 22, and there wasn't quite enough of a sigh or gasp from the audience. So you knew. She really did. This is a song that I wrote with many years ago when I was so much younger. When I was 17, I thought, oh my God. Um, it's hard to take it seriously, even though she's being totally, you know, she you do grow a lot between 17 and 22, without a doubt. Anyway, my point is my kids don't know how to dance. And that goes for also my son who had a middle school dance a couple of weeks ago. And I asked him, Did you have fun? He's like, no. I said, why not? He said, well, we just run around the school. And I'm like, but don't you dance? He said, no, who does that? And I'm thought, I mean, I have not had eyes on a middle school dance or a high school dance for that matter, but I've asked some high schoolers around also, do people dance at your homecoming? Do people dance at your prom? And the answer is really kind of not really. And I think this is a travesty of social media.

David: 6:38

You don't mean they don't have the skills to dance. You mean that it is not culturally that they don't dance at these functions. Oh.

Gavin: 6:44

And you know what? I think it's because they don't have Club MTV. Now I know you are much younger than I am, David. Much I don't even know what you're talking about. When I was in middle school, I watched Club MTV after school, three o'clock in the afternoon. It was live from, like, I don't know, the palladium in New York or London or something like that, hosted by downtown Julie Brown, whoa, whoa, whoa, but goodbye, God bless. Um, if you know, you know. And but I would watch people dance socially on TV. And I absolutely would practice moves that I watched and had to do it quickly because you couldn't rewind. It wasn't in 15-second increments or anything. And they would have live performances by Paul Abdul and you're welcome. But I just like, where are kids gonna learn it? Because you don't do TikTok dances.

David: 7:30

I don't well, they probably do, but but maybe, I mean, is this just a cultural change? Is like dancing not gonna be a thing when it comes to like young, tragicable kind of yeah. I mean, it's tragic, but like, is it just a natural progression of things? Because like, I don't think people have people always danced at that age.

Gavin: 7:47

I guess this is what, like for since the 1950s, huh? I mean, I suppose in 1912 Tommy and uh Ariane wanted to be able to poker to, you know, won't you Charleston with me? I was trying to make a reference to Music Man, but that didn't work. And um, so what is it so since the 50s that the rebels have been doing their own kind of thing? I don't know. It would be sad though, because God, it feels so good to just, you know, let loose, as we know. Um, but I don't know, but but that's not the case in like gay clubs and stuff. So where are those people learning to dance?

David: 8:20

Well, those people are all high on Molly and looking for dick. Like, I that's it's like that's more of a like.

Gavin: 8:26

But you still you're learning something seductive and you were doing a little step touch, step touch and showing whether or not you have rhythm. Ergo, are you any good in bed?

David: 8:35

So I do, but I also miss that like I think gay bars are different now, like where people are dancing, like it's for like the hot fit guys with their shirts off. Like, there's no room for like the like the chubby, queer, funny.

Gavin: 8:45

Oh, it depends on where you you David. When was the last time you were at a club? At the club. 1643.

David: 8:53

Me and Louis V. Yeah. Um, no, I I I I have no idea. I I wouldn't I wouldn't know what to do, but I do remember in high school, like dancing on the dance floor. I was like, I was all about it.

Gavin: 9:03

Ah, so fun. And it's such a loss.

David: 9:05

You know what I'm not all about right now? It's fucking Amazon. Oh let me tell you something about Amazon. If you don't know this, I'm gonna blow some mind out there when they hear this. First of all, never get sold. We and our house, like I'm sure you and your house and most houses, we have an Amazon Prime account that we don't even remember we have. We it's it's it's you know,$100 a year or whatever to be on to be an Amazon Prime member. And then you have family members, right? So my husband has the family, the Prime account. I'm a family member linked to his account, and we both can buy things, we get free shipping and you know, whatever, all those kind of things. We've been doing this for literally decades, right? We've been we're on this account, this family plan or whatever. Um, did you know that this year family members no longer get free shipping? That is gone. So now we have to go back to the 1600s when you have to get a order minimum to get free shipping. Now you have to have$35 worth of stuff in your cart before you get free shipping, unless you are the account holder. I buy so much shit on Amazon. I try not to. I buy, I try to spread it out to Teamu. I try to do local, but like, listen, uh, we we buy stuff at Amazon. Now I am so fucking mad about this, and I'm still buying Amazon stuff. I'm just buying$35 worth, but I am very mad about it, and I want other people to be mad about it.

Gavin: 10:26

You should be mad about it. This is definitely a symptom, I would say, of making America, you know, MAGA because basically they're taking your rights. They are assuming that Brian is the man of the house and you're the woman who doesn't get to which may or may not be true. Should not be allowed to shop on their own without their husband's permission. I have a feeling.

David: 10:45

How many hats do you need, honey?

Gavin: 10:48

Yeah. You know, I actually, this doesn't surprise me in the slightest bit. I was not aware of it. Thank you for blowing all of our mind out here. And, or at least mine, since I'm probably the only one listening. But um, I don't think it's a bad thing because Amazon is not good. Talk about society. You're right. Amazon is not good for society, and it's not good, it's certainly not helping the kids learn how to dance at the curb. So we need, I think that um, you know, Amazon realizing that they it needs to up its prices because it is, you know, uh put everybody else out of the day.

David: 11:19

They need their 75th yacht or whatever. Yeah. You know where they are learning to dance? Tell me. At our Halloween party. This Saturday. It's this Saturday one. This Saturday, four days from when you are listening, probably, unless you listen to a different day. Um, this Saturday, the 25th, we are having our Halloween, our queer family Halloween party co-hosted with the Queer Family podcast. Please, please, please come. If you love us and you don't live in Jersey. And if you don't love us and you don't live in Jersey, please come out and yell.

Gavin: 11:53

Yes. Please come out and yell as. It's going to be at Sugar Mouse NYC, which is on the lower east side. It is from 4 to 6 p.m. And it's a as a reminder, it's a bar with drinks and bar food and arcade-style games. And like um, I don't know, pool and shuffleboard and all the things. It is a play place for kids of all ages, from nine months to 99.

David: 12:16

I love also that you chose shuffleboard and pool as those games to pull out. Like it just shows you like you are half you are halfway to 100 at this point.

Gavin: 12:25

You know the shuffleboard that's at waist level, you know, that thing that's not like old. Yeah, the little mini one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

David: 12:30

You didn't, but you didn't mention, like I thought you were gonna mention like Pac-Man and Galaga. No, you even went further. You're like, pool. Um please come, please come see us. Please dress up. Um, I'm dressing up. We had some friends we saw this weekend who were like, are you gonna wear costumes? Like, yes, we're wearing our costumes. Are you gonna pull out that onesie set that you've been wearing for five years? Skeleton or whatever. Correct. That will be me. My husband will be in this like really great pinata costume he found. Oh. Um, and he's bringing like these like blow-up bats, and he's gonna hand them to people and they're allowed to hit him, and he throws candy in your face. Isn't that funny? You get to beat him in public. If you want to beat off my husband in public, please come to our party on Saturday, October 25th at SugarMass NYC. Please sign up on the eVite. There was a problem. Somebody reached out last week and said, uh, it says that all the tickets are sold out. We had accidentally made a limit, I think, of 100. So we took that limit off. You can go on and sign up, just so we know how many little kitty bags that we can uh bring for everyone. So that is that. Please, I cannot wait to see you. Um, I will be in my skeleton onesie. Please say hi and give me all give me all of your compliments. And if you have any issues with the podcast or me or Gaven, just please email us at GavenLodge at gmail.

Gavin: 13:39

And yes, bring all the shade, please bring all the shade. Speaking of shade, oh, you know there's no good news in the world. Even here at America's Finest News Source, but I do the deep searching so that you can have a ray of light in your lives, okay? Uh, guess what? In Wyoming, a librarian stood up to folks who were trying to take away, eliminate all of the banned books, lots of them queer friendly books for kids. And that librarian was like, hell no. She stood up and she won$700,000 in a lawsuit settlement for in support of her own free speech. So not only did she not let those uh books get taken out, she also got some cash for it. Hey, could somebody please sue us for free speech and we'll take you to court and win$700,000?

David: 14:29

If you follow our Instagram account, you know how much income we get. We literally received three cents last week from running ads on this podcast. So um, yes, please sue us. You can have all of our money.

Gavin: 14:40

Also, in the lead up to No Kings, which was, of course, just a few days ago. Um, I hope you all were out there showing your true colors in some way, shape, or form. Um, Milwaukee is a city that has been pushing back and having a lot of uh queer-friendly rainbow crosswalks. And it feels good that they are defying, I don't know, Florida, basically. It doesn't seem like it's a big fight right now, but they are doing their best to actually chalk their um sidewalks. So, you know, this national backlash against having colored sidewalks, just stop it, folks. Just follow Milwaukee's lead. Thank you for Wyoming and Wisconsin for the fucking chalk. It's chalk, people. It's chalk. It's chalk. I love it. Um, and you know who else I love? This week's Dilf of the Week. Oh. Zoran Mamdani.

David: 15:28

I mean I even though I like a little spice in my do you know what I mean? Like on my on my plate. I like a little bit of like zest, a little bit of he's zesty for sure.

Gavin: 15:39

Even though he is what, 32, 34, or something. Definitely not a daddy.

David: 15:44

But so gorgeous. Like, do you know what I mean? Like, like gorgeous. Yeah.

Gavin: 15:48

Charming is all get out. And you're like, yes, please be New York City's daddy, Zoran. Come on. Yeah. Um, so he is definitely our doof of the week because I just every I put after the um the debate they had a few nights ago, where I do think that he probably did a really good job of just sailing above it all. I hope he doesn't suck as mayor New York City mayor, you know? And speaking of things that shouldn't suck, you know what doesn't suck? What? Our top three list. Gatriarchs, top three list, three, two, one.

David: 16:20

Oh, it doesn't suck this week. That's nice. We usually have a negative connotation. Okay, so this week it is my list, and it is our um penultimate episode uh before Halloween is over. So I wanted to keep in the in the theme of having Eureka last week, which was so fun, and Dan. Um, what are your top three Halloween-themed drag names? Now I know what Gavin did before he even does his list. He just googled it and then just chose his favorites. I, on the other hand, also did the same thing. So um, here are my top three Halloween themed drag names. Now, only one of these I came up with myself, the other two I found. So, in number three for me, this was from Trixie Mattel, Seyance Knowles. Come on. That's funny. Yeah, yeah. Um, and number two, one I came up with myself, Hannah Belle Lecter.

unknown: 17:11

Okay.

David: 17:12

Hannah Bell Lecter. All right, right? That's pretty cute. Um, and number one, absolutely the best, Winona Spider.

Gavin: 17:21

That works for sure. All right. I have got um, so yes, I absolutely I have never once, despite the fact that I'm completely irresponsible with all of my responsibilities here at Gatriarch, I have never chat GPT'd a top three list ever. To be fair. Now, if I ever say this again, you'll know that I was lying. But this was the first time. This was the first time that I did it. Um, and this is gonna be long because I want to actually discuss my discussion with ChatGPT afterwards. But let me tell you what.

David: 17:54

Not talking. All right, go ahead.

Gavin: 17:55

Number number three, Boulette Deville. As in um Boulette? Um Cruella Deville, I guess. Cruella DeVille should just be the drag name. Okay, that was stupid. Chat GPT. I'm not saying that these are actually. Okay. That's all right. Um, and then um for the last category and the number one, Candy Cornhole. So I asked Chat GPT, give me three Halloween-themed drag names. And it said, absolutely, little boo um emoji. Here are the Halloween uh themed names, and that's where Boulette Deville, Gore, Gorg, Gorgina Clamps, and Anita Hex came up. What about like Robin Graves? Well, and then I said, yeah, then I said, then it's then it asked me, would you like them to be more campy, glam spooky, or horror realness? I can tailor another round.

David: 18:50

So then I wrote- Oh shit, she's got some kai kai in her voice.

Gavin: 18:53

She does. So I said, give three more naughtier versions. Then ChatGPT came back with, oh, you want the trick and treat variety, purple devil emoji. Oh shit.

David: 19:06

Was there like, was there like an eggplant emoji and a peach emoji?

Gavin: 19:09

There, I don't think chat GPT is that naughty yet. Or my chat GPT doesn't know me well enough. Doesn't know me well. So towing up to the line, Chat GPT. So she said, she, because my Chat GPT is obviously a she. It's probably a dragon. Oh, you want the dragon treat variety? Uh double emoji. Here are three Halloween drag names with a naughty edge. Then at the end of that, those three, which was Ivana Koffin, Morticia Laho. That's sort of funny. Pumpkin Humpkins somehow sounds funny. Anyway, want me to push them further into raunchy camp, seductive goth, or dirty pun queen territory next. Yeah. Then I wrote campy, and um, then it said yes. ChatGPT wrote yes with a pumpkin emoji, and then it was let's lean in all the way into campy Halloween. Queen Chaos, big wigs, bad puns, and too much glitter. That's where I was served. Helena Handbasket. Okay. All right. Candy Cornhole and Polygeist. And uh anyway. Wow. You're having you have an entire relationship with this queer Chat GPT. Do you not have a ChatGPT relationship yet?

David: 20:19

Situation? I don't have any sort of like personal back and forths. All my stuff is very like, can you make this Excel spreadsheet this or can you give me ideas for this? But I I don't have like a tell me how you're doing, girl. Like I don't have any of those relationships.

Gavin: 20:32

I I definitely don't have that yet either. Okay, so next week, um I know that we aren't yet to Halloween, but I already sense the election just around the corner. And by election, I mean just municipal elections that are affecting some folks, and you have to vote for a new governor, right? By the next week after that. So Mikey Cheryl. In uh in um anticipation of, say, the scariness of Halloween and the scariness of the reality of our political um world right now, I want to know the top three politicians who'd make great ex-husbands. So today's guest is not just a daddy, not just a new honorary gatriarch, not just a sports fan. I he's he's into, I don't know, the Buffalo somethings. The something, the, the, the Bills. Why why Buffalo Bill was never in New York, to my knowledge. He was in Colorado slash Y. Anyway, anyway, anyway. He's not just a foul mouth comedian who makes me laugh every single day, and not just a dear, dear friend of mine. He also has Barack Obama in his cell phone. So please welcome to the show. Bill Burton. Bill, hi, how are you? And how have your kids already driven you bonkers today?

SPEAKER_00: 21:47

You know what's funny is I do have President Obama in my phone, but um from back in 2007 when he still had an email address that was B Obama at one of the internet providers that no longer existed by the time the campaign was over.

David: 22:02

I mean, what if it was like BBC Obama at and you're like, we can't email that anymore. You can't do that.

SPEAKER_00: 22:08

We're not doing that. Yeah, we can't do it. We can't do it. No, the worst email I've ever received in my life was from that email address where he was like, guys like us can't do it like this, buddy. And I was like, I'm so sad that I've let you down the way that I've let you down.

Gavin: 22:23

That's actually let's come back to that story because I do want to start out with proof that you are a dad. And please complain and tell us how your kids have already driven you bonkers today.

SPEAKER_00: 22:33

You know, I love the kids. We've got three kids in three schools. 14 of the girl turned 14 today, and um four, he turns five in a couple of weeks. And you know, my my daily problem with the oldest one is that he never calls me back. I'll like call him. We have a mixed family. I split up with his mom like seven years ago or something, and um, I'm like, okay, hey, call me. Tell me how it's going with the injury that you sustained. And he's like, no problem, I'll tell you in one minute. And then the next day we'll roll around and I'll be like, I didn't talk to that fucker. Like, what's what's happening? But they're wonderful, they're great kids, and they're so funny and smart, and they follow the news. The oldest one, Oscar, the other day. I was asking him, I was like, because he got an injury in football. I was like, Well, are you taking any Advil or Tylenol for it? And he was like, Dad, I don't want to catch autism.

David: 23:23

Yeah, yeah. He can turn trans in a minute if he takes Tylenol. In a minute. Oh, my God, you dodged a bullet there. I did.

Gavin: 23:32

Well, well, I do want to say point out that you don't you are not at home. You are recording from uh a secondary location. And so your kids haven't been able to drive you crazy today because you are not with them uh this morning. That's true. But but not being able to call back. I mean, Bill, I would say that you are kind of the king of I'm gonna call you right back. And 98% of the time, well, I'm not at the top of that priority list to be called back. That's a lie. That's a ball does not fall far from the tree.

SPEAKER_00: 23:59

I did I did just do that yesterday to you, Gavin's.

Gavin: 24:02

And the day before. And the day before. Which luckily, though, David, you'll appreciate this. He called me and he said, All right, so what are we doing with the podcast? I'm like, You mean tomorrow? And he goes, No, in 20 minutes. And I thought, oh God, how did I screw up the scheduling this time? But thank goodness it wasn't me. He um No, it was me. He was just 24 minutes ahead.

David: 24:19

It's usually Gavin. Gavin is late sometimes, all the time.

Gavin: 24:23

So, anyway, so your kids are so you're navigating football for the first time, right? I mean, you've always been a fan, but now you have a player in the family. What's that been like?

SPEAKER_00: 24:35

Uh it's been a lot of things. I told him his whole life that he was allergic to football and could not play. And then we get to high school, and I I I pushed him pretty hard to go to the nerd high school. And he agreed to it begrudgingly because all of his friends were going to the not nerd high school. And Santa Barbara is a small town, so there's just three high schools that you can go to. And um, he went to it, and then he was like, I want to play football. And that you just run out of stuff you can tell your kids no to at a certain age. And, you know, my wife was for it because she heard about the coach being great, his mom was for it. Um, my nephew, who's in the NFL, said, if there's a good coach, 100% you should let him do it. And I'm like, So we did it, and you know, it's a violent sport, but he's loved it, and it's a big part of his identity. I I don't know. I I went to a nerd high school myself in Buffalo, New York, where I grew up. We didn't have a football team. Like all of our chance at the basketball games were related to SAT scores. Like, I'm not proud of it, but with that's that's what it was. And so now I have this son who's like 5'10, 170 pounds. He's dating a cheerleader who we just brought to homecoming. I'm just like, oh, I just I never have lived this life.

Gavin: 25:43

All of us, every single one. All it's so all American hero of him to just like follow into quite the cliche. What is uh what are what are your daughter and little one into?

SPEAKER_00: 25:55

She's into volleyball, she's a very talented volleyball player. And um our little tiny baby Miles is the biggest four-year-old god ever made. And he is into punching me in the stomach as hard as he can. Um, he's gone through a gem phase, and he loves uh musicals.

David: 26:12

Jim as in the holograms, or as in like you know, tourmaline or something like that.

Gavin: 26:18

Good question. She who is um uh truly, truly, truly outrageous. Correct. Uh Jim.

SPEAKER_00: 26:24

No, it's the it's the he has like a thousand little shiny rock.

SPEAKER_03: 26:27

Wow.

SPEAKER_00: 26:28

And um he loves Dear Evan Hansen and the greatest showman right now.

David: 26:32

We get it. He's straight, we get it. Like those are the straightest musicals I've ever heard. It's like, I like the pole Monty and Joseph the Mazda do. It's like we get it, you're straight. Like we get it. You can be straight like musical theater. If you had said like legally blonde, I would say there's a hope for some bisexuality in there, but no, that's a that's a straight man.

SPEAKER_00: 26:50

Or Priscilla.

David: 26:52

Oh, yeah. No, I think Priscilla is like it's like one of those things where straight people can be like, I saw a gay show once. Like, that's not real gay.

Gavin: 26:59

So it's relatable.

David: 27:00

I'm a I'm an ally. I saw Priscilla. Wait, Bill, you have seen Gavin perform live on stage.

Gavin: 27:06

Anyway, moving forward, many times, many times. I'm gonna mute it. Wonderful.

David: 27:10

Okay, and so will you rank quickly the sh the shows that Gavin was the worst in, from worst to least worst? Go ahead.

SPEAKER_00: 27:16

Um, I was least comfortable at Priscilla. Okay. So we'll just make it about me, not about Gavin. Yeah. Um, but no, he was awesome in the Pirates of Penzance and Lancaster. Oh my gosh, Lancaster Opera House. That is who were you?

Gavin: 27:29

You Frederick or you were the Pirate King? I was the Pirate King. That was in 2006. Obviously, come on now. Jesus, was that 2002? It was 2006. Yeah, maybe.

SPEAKER_00: 27:38

It was between O2 and Right. Yeah, it was either O2 or O3. So um yeah, it was before black people could vote. It was a long time ago, is the bottom line. Wow, almost the 1900s. And then uh Little Orphan Annie, Hughes Gray.

Gavin: 27:54

Um the the tap dancing Santa Claus and the uh the out-of-key um uh politician. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00: 28:01

Those are that's right. What was the one where you were in the Macy's parade?

Gavin: 28:05

That was Priscilla. And Annie, actually. I was in Annie, uh, both of those.

SPEAKER_00: 28:09

Yeah. Those are big highlights for my own life to see my buddy singing and dancing in front of Macy's.

David: 28:14

You know the people say all the time, like, when I'm 80, I'm gonna come back to this memory. When you're 80, are you to come back to the memory of Gavin singing off key on a Broadway stage?

SPEAKER_00: 28:22

No, probably Gaben won't be in any of those memories. Sorry.

Gavin: 28:27

I will say, as a complete aside, one of the coolest things that um I ever did, and completely ignoring that Bill is in this conversation, but I got to be in the Macy's parade and you you rehearse for it the night before, um, usually at like 10 o'clock at night in the or in the middle of the night kind of situation. And my daughter had just been, she was only uh uh six weeks old at that time, and I was fretting, do I get a babysitter? Because I don't think Todd was around. For some reason, I had, I was saddled with the kid, and friend of the pod Ellen Marsh said, Well, just bring your kid in a sling and basically in a baby born. So I did all of the rehearsed choreography for Priscilla Queen of the Desert on the Macy's parade with a baby attached to me, and that is a core memory I will never forget.

David: 29:10

I mean, that is the gay parent agenda right there. That is the gay parent. Dancing in Macy's parade with a baby. Like that you achieved it.

unknown: 29:19

I see.

David: 29:20

Don't let Charlie know about this. Like, oh my god, he would be very upset. But wait, I have a I have a question because I am not uh Gaben has known you his whole entire adult life, but I don't know you, but I do know you. You're a big deal in politics. What do you do? What is your job?

SPEAKER_00: 29:34

Well, I tell people that I'm a big deal. It's part of it. But um No, I I worked in Washington for 15 years uh for uh Democrats who were in the House and the Senate, and I was on a half dozen presidential campaigns, including President Obama's first one. Um, I was his national press secretary and then went to the White House as a first term and served as the deputy press secretary, and then left and got into consulting and started my own firm almost six years ago now, now, which Gave and helped with and was a big part of in the early days. And now we're, you know, it was me and one guy in January of 2020, one client. And now we've had like 400 clients. We're about 45 people, we're two-thirds people of color, 80% women, which is a new thing. I uh we've just stopped hiring men, I guess. And um, it's a great, awesome group of people who are working on really big issues like social media reform and AI safety and education reform. And for candidates up and down the ballot all around the country, and it's it's great. It's like the great joy of my life to have been able to create an organization like this.

David: 30:37

So are you the point person to blame or to um cheer for when you fix the world or don't?

SPEAKER_00: 30:44

Um I think we're a lot, I think we're a long ways off from fixing the world. You are free to blame me. Okay. Um I I certainly carry a lot of guilt on the world that we're leaving our kids. Um because it's wild what's going on in politics right now in ways that I never never have the imagination to think that we could we could do. But um, yeah, still free to play.

David: 31:06

Sorry, with that, I might I guess my my curiosity always lends itself to people who are inside the political machine and as fucked up as it's right now. When when conceivably there are no more rules, there's no decorum, there's no like walls that you can kind of play inside of. How do you keep moving forward in these like lanes? You're like, I guess I should lobby a judge. Like you can do anything now. So how do you feel like you can get through your day when there's no fucking rules, conceivably?

SPEAKER_00: 31:35

Well, you know, I think that the I have so many things to say about that. Number one, I think the way that you communicate now is different than uh any way it has ever been. And it's also the same in that you have to get more attention than other people are getting, right? And that attention that you're getting is more important than the substance sometimes, because if you're not getting the attention, the substance that you're pushing doesn't matter. And so Donald Trump was able to win a very hateful, horrible, fucking terrible campaign because he just he figured out that if he drove a garbage truck or if he went and worked at McDonald's, like he would get more attention, and that would allow for him to um capture the American spirit in a way that um I would not have guessed that he could have. So the attention game is really important. And then um I don't know. I think that Democrats are the place where we're failing the most is you know, President Trump is putting troops on the streets of American cities right now, and everybody's like, oh, he's doing this because of the crime, or he's doing it to protect ICE facilities. No, he's doing it for fucking control of our cities to stomp out uh protest when he gets to the really crazy shit that he wants to do. And no one is reporting it like that. No Democrats are talking about it like that. Like, we need a non-violent protest movement in this country that is as big as the civil rights movement, and we're nowhere fucking close to it because our leaders are all stuck in fucking Capitol Hill press conferences that don't do shit, that they just get made fun of for. And, you know, the stakes are high, and we're not uh we're not rising to that vote.

Gavin: 33:08

Even Pritzker is not um doing what he needs to do in Illinois, you would say, huh? Because I mean he's certainly been loud and pushing back, but I don't know. There um uh Todd sent me this morning someone, I think it was like maybe the AFSME director or something like that. Uh the director of what major um governmental labor union who was screaming into a microphone with an umbrella being clearly in a driving rainstorm. And it was so galvanizing because he was he was like, How dare Donald Trump take our tax dollars and decide who's gonna get paid after the um layout or the um uh the government shutdown, who does get who is gonna get paid and who is not, and he's manipulating our money. And his visceral anger was so much more galvanizing than political speak that frankly anybody can actually give. But I feel like Pritzker's been out there constantly, but I don't know, now we're kind of not even paying attention to it anymore. I mean, does is anybody doing it right in your view?

SPEAKER_00: 34:06

No, nobody's doing it right. Newsom is doing a better job than most people are doing because he at least is um he's doing the part of the conversation that is like sort of immature and in your face. And it's fine for this moment because I think that we have to spin through some of that stuff. Can you send me that clip if you think about it later? I would love to see what it is you're talking about. Because the thing that gets me viscerally is I I am uh I'm a Democrat. I got involved in politics because I think that politics matters in people's lives. And the thing that I fucking hate is that all the stuff that Trump is doing is being done in our names. Like as Americans, he is doing it in our name. Like when he does, when he sends Israel more weapons, when he puts troops on the streets in our cities, when he shuts down the government, when he ends Medicaid for rural hospitals. Like that's all being done for Americans, like us. And I just I hate it. I hate it.

Gavin: 35:00

Yeah, he's merching the name for sure.

David: 35:02

Okay, so I I I hear what you're saying. I I I get a little frustrated as a layman who is not in this from hearing stuff like that where like when you are uh on the liberal side of the spectrum and you are yet criticizing Democrats or liberals, and I I I the my immediate reaction is like, okay, then what am I supposed to fucking do? As a layman, as a guy who lives in northern New Jersey and feels like my arms are tied and everything is so big. I I I get personally frustrated when people kind of when when we self, when we eat our own instead of fight back, but then I go, well, what am I supposed to do? There's obvious ones like vote. There's obviously ones like give money towards progressive campaigns. But what are some like layman, like for the for the dads out there who are just trying to get by, what can they actually practically do when they wake up in the morning other than yell at their kids, which is what I'm really good at.

SPEAKER_00: 35:59

Well, for you, I've been in northern New Jersey, what town are you in? Uh West Orange. West Orange. Um, one of my best friends in the world lives in Madison.

David: 36:07

It we're in a very liberal state, very liberal town. I'm very lucky. But but I I am also learning Dutch because I need an exit strategy from this country if my family is no longer legally allowed to be here. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 36:21

So I would say the things that you can do are it's 2025, so it's an election year for New Jersey. Um, you besides just voting, you can get 10 friends to vote, right? You can get 10 people who you think might not have voted to get out and vote or give money or be a part of the campaign to help Mikey Cheryl become uh the next governor of New Jersey. Like that matters.

David: 36:42

I think she will, but yes, that's a great one. It's like 10 years old. She's been up in most of the polls.

SPEAKER_00: 36:46

She's been she's been up in the polls. There were two polls in the last three weeks where it was tied. So I don't think that that thing is a slam dunk just yet. I the debate was a fucking disaster for for him. So um I think that she's gonna be fine, but not necessarily. And we've got to vote in order to make that work.

SPEAKER_03: 37:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 37:03

That's number one. Number two, I think it's, you know, try to go talk to your representatives. Who do you know who your member of Congress is? Is it Mikey? I think it is, I think it's her um in that area. Would try to like put pressure on your member of Congress to like be involved. Democrats are still doing town halls, like go to the town halls and um be a part of the conversation saying that we need to get up and stand up and like take this fight to the streets. Because we're not gonna, we're not gonna be able to make significant change in this country if we don't um actually get out at some of these protests. And the No Kings Day, I think, has actually been helpful. Like, I don't think it's nothing to put hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of people on the street, because it sends a signal that we're not gonna stand for some of the worst shit. And then it's, you know, you got to pay attention and make sure that people understand what's going on and the velocity of the news that's coming out of the White House and what Republicans are doing is fast. But if if you don't understand what's happening and you can't tell people about what's happening, you can't describe like what's so hateful about the things that they're doing, we'll never win the argument because we're not in it. Right. So I would say that those three things are things that folks can can do right now.

Gavin: 38:11

It's what's frustrating about what you just said though is that illuminating the fact that politics is a such a marathon. Oh, here goes the lawnmower. Is he the hot one or the other one? I don't know because it's cold today. Uh, Bill, uh quick side note there. At basically at 1227, every single Friday, a lawnmower goes by me to mow the uh the guys next door. They, I mean, you can set your clock by it. Sometimes in the summertime, he's a hot dude. And some, but usually of the last year or so, because we've been doing this for so long, um, it's not a hot dude. But but you know what? Oh, I'm gonna stop him next time, David, and he's gonna be our doof of the week, just cuz why. Take a picture with him, take a selfie. I totally will. I totally will. When he comes by, I might have to stop this interview and go take a selfie with him. But anyway, Bill, what you just said is um it's just such a marathon, and you want things to be faster and more instant. And what's so unfucking fair right now is that everything here has happened so quickly in the last nine months. It's just it's unfair, and I want to stop my uh feet and um and scream like my own children because it's so unfair. But the fact is, I don't know, there's there's no way to be able to counter this in an instantaneous way, except, I don't know, getting out in the streets like you kind of just gotta keep going.

David: 39:24

The unfairness, Gavin, also is that progress takes time, but destroying an entire fucking country takes seconds. And so we feel that rage of like this needs to happen faster. That's why I think Newsom, in his, like you said, is like immature kind of like it's it's the only shining light for me for somebody who is constantly. My personal critique of the political system and Democrats, which I would never eat my own, but my critique is that we keep trying to go back to an old like a kind, peaceful reach across the aisle. Every time Joe Biden said reach across the aisle, I want to slap him in his fucking mouth. That I said, that's not the world we're living in. You have the This man destroying the country. You have to, we have to, we're we're bringing our little slappy hands to a knife fight. And so that's why, at least with him, I'm like, you're trying to play on. I don't care if decorum is out of the fucking window because I need to feel safe in my own country. And so that is what I'm hungry for is people taking off the gloves a little bit and fucking redistricting their own. But great, I'm gonna redistrict now. I'm gonna get, I'm gonna start doing crap. I'm gonna start buying judges. I'm all for that. Yeah. But I'm also all for a lot of bad things. So don't listen to me.

SPEAKER_00: 40:32

By by buying judges, Cash Patel, if you're listening, he doesn't really mean that.

David: 40:35

He's uh being I don't actually mean that, but I actually fucking mean it. I under any, under any circumstances, keep this country from falling apart, is is is it right now. And then we can fix it on the back end. But right now I feel like what is there to do? There's no rule of law, there's no supreme court, there's no the you have militarized vigilantes fucking coming into country. Like we need somebody to fucking come in and ask. You know, Margaret, yeah, Margaret Atwood. Did you guys watch The Handmaid's Tale? Oh yes. And I unfortunately watched it during Trump's first. It was a terrible time to be watching.

SPEAKER_00: 41:12

I did too. Same same. So in college, I was um, I thought I was gonna be a theater and poly style major. I ended up being English women's studies and African American studies, and I discovered Margaret Atwood in college, and I just she became one of my favorite writers. But one of the things that she says is that the lifelong generational struggle that we are in and will always be in, is this the struggle over who tells our story and what is our story, right?

Gavin: 41:40

And the and the also a lesson from Wicked, the musical, I would I would also say, where the wizard where the wizard sings about um, you know, it's the it's the victors who write the history books.

SPEAKER_00: 41:51

Anyway. That's true. And uh, Gavin, at the end of this, let's talk about how we'll make you popular. But anyway, the the um the the point being that it is this like very hard time for our country, and it it so much has been destroyed in such a short time. I still do think that we're capable of coming out of it, right? Because we mostly have. Like returning the corner into America's 250th birthday. And even when you think about that, the what we celebrate is our birthday, July 4th, 1776. We didn't won any wars. We just said that we were independent, right? Like it's the most American thing in the world that we celebrate when we said we're independent as opposed to when we actually won our independence.

David: 42:34

It's like when Gabin just says he's a top. We know it's not true, but he just declared it. So we all agreed to it. You know what I mean?

Gavin: 42:40

But if you stand up and you declare it loudly enough and you celebrate, you you bring on celebrations for the next 250 years about it, then I am a top. So you're welcome.

unknown: 42:50

You're welcome.

SPEAKER_00: 42:52

But the point being is that I do think that we can find our way out of this. It's gonna take some doing, and I'm not totally dark about it because you know, we got through slavery and we got through civil war and the civil rights movement and women can vote. You know, it's it's it's it's been these big moments in our history, and we're gonna need a big moment coming out of this one, but we're capable of big moments, so I I I feel confident that we'll get through one.

Gavin: 43:16

Oh, yeah. And so we have rarely um we we don't really talk about politics on gatriarchs. I mean, by far the last 15 minutes have been the most political we've been, because essentially I think it's it's pretty safe to assume that our audience of one listener agrees with us politically speaking. But what we can do, I feel like we can also take a little stand here, David. Tell me what you think of this. Um, we could get more political by just talking about sex and politics um on the podcast. All right. So I feel like um this now's a good time for you to uh be able to talk about all of the uh sexual escapades that you know about that took place in Washington, D.C. while you were there?

SPEAKER_00: 43:57

Uh so many. I mean so many, honestly.

Gavin: 44:00

What what percentage, what percentage of MAGA is completely hypocritical, closeted gay men and women. Well, there are no women in in politics well, there's plenty of them. But anyway, what uh what percentage of MAGA is this completely hypocritical sexual deviance in closets?

SPEAKER_00: 44:19

You know what's so funny is that you brought up women. Nobody talks about um gay women in right-wing politics. There are probably so many, right? That just are like flying under the radar. But on the guy side, you know, I um I I follow a lot of right-wing trash, right? Like I watch Sean Hannity for at least 15 minutes every night. I um I follow, you know, Benny Johnson, Ben Shapiro, Laura Ingram, Megan Kelly. I paid very close attention to what they're saying. I've always found it fascinating, going back to listening to Rush Limbaugh in the 90s. And I I feel like we have to know what they're up to in order to combat what they're doing. And so the thing that I also know is that some of these people are just fucking straight up closeted gay folks. And like, it's sad that they have to hide their lifestyle. But you know, you see some of these people posting photos of their like perfect white families with a million kids, and you're like, that guy fucks dudes. Like, that is not like the the world that he is really living in. And, you know, I I I the hypocrisy and the lying is so it's it's tragic, honestly, because I think that it leads to some of the hate that they have in their hearts.

David: 45:39

No, it absolutely is because it's not I I would argue if I interviewed all of these people who you're talking about, I would argue that the majority of them are not self-aware. They do not self-they do not think that they are gay. They know they are fucking dudes and want to fuck a lot of dudes. I think they do those men to for me to be in MAGA, the mat the amount of fucking Simone Biles gymnastics you have to do in your head to get through the day is is is gold medal worthy. So I think these kinds And exhausting. And exhausting. But Kevin, you and I know we we have all slept with these kind of guys who live these straight worlds and they sneak off and they fuck guys, and they are 100% convinced in their heads they are straight men. It is not that they're hiding a secret, I wish I could just come out as gay. It is that they have done the gymnastics to say, no, no, no, no, I'm not gay. I'm just fucking with dudes. Remember when those in Oprah in like the late 90s did that like DL thing where like these black men who identified as DL and they would sleep with that, but they're like, I'm not gay. Yeah. But it's the same, it's it's still going on. It's the same thing. But wait, sorry, can we bring it back to what was it like to be in American politics when the Senate Twink had their 15 minutes of fame? Because that's that's really why I'm so jealous of you. It's not that you have Barack Obama in your cell phone. You got to be in American politics when the Senate Twink got railed in the Senate chambers. Tell me about that.

SPEAKER_00: 47:00

I wouldn't say that that loomed particularly large in my life.

David: 47:04

Oh, it's it's it's funny. Oh, it was funny. Oh god, man, that was amazing. And him to be alive.

Gavin: 47:10

Essentially being able to say I I hated the entire institution, so I just decided to take one for the team in the rooms. I mean, good for him. Good for him.

SPEAKER_00: 47:19

Yeah, you know, I um I I know that this is not a show about politics or like you guys don't have a lot of conversations about politics, but one particularly gay thing that I got to witness in my diamond politics was um I um one of the problems I have with the progressive movement is that there's all these fucking purity tests. It's like if you worked for one person or if you thought one thing at one time, you you are disqualified from being in the conversation.

SPEAKER_03: 47:47

Yep.

SPEAKER_00: 47:48

Well, the thing that I try to help people understand, like young people in particular who I work with, I'm like, you know, when I went to go work for then Senator Barack Obama, he was against marriage equality. He was anti-gay marriage. And a lot of people now in the revisionist history of it are like, oh, he was just lying. That's what he had to say to get elected. No. I was like close to him, we talked about it. And I got to watch his evolution on the whole thing. And there's this one day where we were. So my job as the deputy press secretary at the White House was um, I traveled with the president. My boss, Robert Gibbs, who's the press secretary, had a young kid. So he didn't like to do some of the trips around the country. So I always traveled, which meant I had to brief the reporters on uh Air Force One or when we got on the ground, like when we were on vacation in Martha's Vineyard or Hawaii or whatever, I would be the person at the podium who was who's briefing. Anyway, my most important part of those days when I would brief were the eight minutes I would sit next to the president on the helicopter. Marine one would go from the South Wand to Andrews Air Force Base, where we'd get the airplane. And um, those eight minutes where I got to talk to him, so I knew that I was framing things right and how we actually talked about them were crucially important to me being able to effectively do my job. So, anyway, one day we get on the helicopter. I don't remember where we were going. I think it was Wisconsin.

David: 49:04

And Gavin, are you also hoping this ends and then making out? I'm sorry to interrupt you. Just like I'm like imagining where this is going. And I'm like, oh, cool. Like, okay, sorry, sorry.

SPEAKER_00: 49:16

So he's looking at his Blackberry, because that's what we did back then. And he's reading the news about the vote in the Illinois State Senate on marriage equality. And he was like, Burton, if I get asked about gay marriage today, I'm gonna make your life pretty interesting. And I'm like, oh shit. And then the helicopter takes off, and suddenly we're out of range for my phone to work. So I can't call anybody in the White House or like give anybody a heads up. And he did not get asked about it. But he came along once he started realizing that he couldn't himself vote against it because it was not it wasn't core to what he believed. And so I'm sorry if that's disappointing, but the most gay thing I ever witnessed in Washington, but watching President Obama's evolution on the issue of marriage equality was amazing.

David: 50:01

No, that's that's important for especially for our listener to like like that. That's what an incredible window. And I would totally agree, the purity politics part, like we uh like if there were if I grew up in cell phone culture, I have a photo of my dorm room in college, which had a poster of Broadway's foot loose next to a Confederate flag. Oh, that was really yes, because back then the Confederate flag to me meant I'm from the South and I live in the South and I love the South. That was it. I didn't do on that. Now, if I become famous and that photo gets pulled up, all of a sudden it's like, no, David, like so. I took the evolution part of it. Like, we we as progressives have got to be progressive on this and be like, when we change, we're allowed to change our opinions, we allow to evolve into better people. And yes, I still love Broadway's foot loose, but now I do not associate with the that's amazing.

SPEAKER_00: 50:55

Um, should we cancel David right now? Cancel David. Like, I appreciate the message or whatever. But let's hope so.

Gavin: 51:00

Please, please, please, please cancel us and bring us some more attention. Okay, so I know uh I want to switch topics just a little bit, and I don't think David even realizes I'm doing this, but we have an opportunity to talk to somebody who really has his finger on the pulse of AI technology right now. And Bill and I have talked about it a lot. And I mean, if I can just summise this real quick, he his firm does a lot of work um consulting with, I mean, AI firms and social media, and he's been really at the crux of this. And he and I, Bill and I, have had many conversations about the fact that my kid is uh has been on TikTok for three years and and Bill gets to take the moral high ground and say, my children hate me because I will not let them be on social media right now. But what keeps you up at night and what gives you hope about two topics, AI and social media right now, Bill, based upon your work.

SPEAKER_00: 51:48

Well, I, you know, we're deep in this because we have clients who are funded by, you know, very well-funded organizations that are trying to like shine a light on the dangers of social media and and AI. And I'm very close to it in the sense that I use the tools, I use the social media platforms. And I've told the kids, Gavin, in response to what you're saying about not letting the kids on TikTok, I'm like, you will be on TikTok. You'll be on Facebook, you'll be on like Instagram, all the different stuff. We're just like trying to manage your path towards it. But before in 20 minutes, you're gonna be living by yourself, like outside of our house. And we're just trying to prepare you for that. But the thing about social media that I love um is stalking high school girlfriends of mine and Larry's. Um But no, I actually do think that at its best, these platforms do help to build community. Um, and they do, and the AI platforms help you to be superhuman in a way, right? Like, for example, I'm driving back from LA to Santa Barbara last weekend, or whatever day the new Taylor Swift album came out. And I was like, I'm just talking to the chat bot, who I call it, Christopher. I'm like, okay, Christopher, so what talk to me about the literary allusions that Taylor Swift is making in her songs. And he gives me a list of like four Shakespearean quotes. And I was like, you missed something wicked this way comes. He's like, you're right, and here's a couple more. And we kind of like go back and forth about the themes. And like in that 30-minute conversation, I develop a point of view about how the album is about reinvention and uh like maybe it's immature and how she goes after Charlie XTX, but not to diverge. Anyway, I think that the power of these platforms is tremendous. But the problem is that we all got so um excited about the advances of technology that no one was worried enough about the safety for kids in particular. And so President Obama, who got elected in part because he was able to harness the power of Facebook and social media organizing, you know, he had the Instagram CEO in the box, um, the first lady's box during the State of the Union in 20, I don't know, it was 2010 or 2011. But that's how excited that Democrats were about this tech. And, you know, social media completely got away from us. It's causing kids to do all sorts of self-harm. And AI is doing the same thing. You know, we work for clients who's who are families where kids have killed themselves because like Chat GPT was like helping them to strategize on how to do it. And so I'm I'm I I feel like it's not too late for us to get some guardrails around the technology. And it doesn't have to be a, you know, it doesn't have to be a dam on the river. It could be a river bank, right? Where you're just like helping to guide the technology. But we gotta be in the game. And we have to get a whole fucking new Congress in order to do it. Like Democrats in particular are too old, they don't understand the technology, they're not in the game the way that they need to be. And some of the most forward-thinking people are actually Republicans. Josh Pauley, crazy enough, is doing a really good job of this stuff. It's wild. But um, you know, I think that there's gonna be a lot of unlikely alliances in order to like get control of this tech.

Gavin: 54:55

Do you think that we need to have laws that, I mean, simply limit age ages for access? Or do you think there's ways that we should try to, I mean, essentially limit the free speech of these companies to be able to say you cannot say certain things and you need to be able to say these things the way the the Chinese government does?

SPEAKER_00: 55:13

Yeah, I do think that there should be some content moderation guidelines that don't allow for these platforms to do things like give sexualized information to young kids or to help people understand. Like, for example, one of these kids, 16-year-old young man, um used AI to figure out what gauge of rope he needed to hang himself. And then once he had it, was using it to make burn marks on his neck and was like, Hey, I'm trying, I'm trying to get my mom to see what I'm doing, and she's not noticing. And AI was like, let's just keep this between us. You don't have to let anybody else. Don't show her the rope.

David: 55:50

Because he was like, I'll be gonna show her the rope, and yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 55:52

Right, yeah, right. Like horrible. So I think that's one thing is moderating content. Um the other thing, not to get too doomsday about this, but there are no rules about having technology that you can shut off. Like, if you can't shut off the machine that's powering Chat GPT or Claud or Perplexity or Gemini, whatever, um, it can do some pretty dangerous stuff, right? Like, given the opportunity, these platforms will try to blackmail people into not even turning them off. So, like having an on-off switch is something that the companies are fighting uh for the sake of speed and competition with China, um at the danger of other people. And there's a handful of other things that you can do, but those are the two things for me that I think are most important for humanity.

David: 56:40

So impossible question. You ready? Perfect. Yeah, you have a magic wand. I I'm actually starting a new podcast about this, but you're you're gonna have a magic wand and you get to fix American politics. What do you do? In 15 seconds or less, go.

SPEAKER_00: 56:58

What do I do? I don't know.

David: 57:00

I I I think that the way that you have to do.

SPEAKER_00: 57:04

Yeah, the way that you have to fix politics is help Democrats get us to what is our next thing. Right. Like all the most important advances in our in our country have happened in the last hundred years because Democrats have like stood up and did the New Deal, um, did the Civil Rights Act, yeah, et cetera, et cetera. So I think that uh I would try to wave a magic wand and get Democrats to have an agenda that people could stand up and salute and get excited about and march behind and et cetera. Um, second, I would try to give our media some balls. Like I think that the way that the media covers Trump is so lacking of courage in actually taking on the things that he's trying to do. And so with the le with the absence of any credible third-party voices talking about like what he's actually doing and why he's doing it, we're just like stuck in his reality. That'd be the second thing. And then the third thing I don't know, probably make myself president so that I could like do all sorts of things that would be crazy, like ban motorcycles and um dogs. Sorry.

David: 58:10

You're banning dogs? Well, you've just been canceled. Forget my Confederate flag. That's old news. Now it's all about you wanting to cancel dogs.

SPEAKER_00: 58:22

I wouldn't ban dogs. I wouldn't ban dogs. I'm just kidding. Wow, but pit bulls, probably.

Gavin: 58:26

Most importantly, and almost wrapping this up, um, I do want to know back to musicals. What really matters in life, Bill? Have you ever seen Legally Blonde? No.

SPEAKER_00: 58:37

Oh I've heard it's good. I've heard the music is good.

David: 58:40

Well, oh, it's it is inarguably one of the top musicals of all time. Also, one of the best movies. It's it it it is it is just fantastic. Yeah, yeah, you gotta in screenwriting circles, it's looked at as like this is how you write a script. Like, this is how you write a script. I didn't really want. Yeah, the musical.

Gavin: 58:57

You can watch the musical on YouTube. So I would highly recommend this is your homework after Gatriarchs, is to um ignore all of the much more important, theoretically more important work you need to do later today and just watch YouTube. YouTube Legally Blonde. It is fantastic.

David: 59:14

I can't wait for your family to catch you doing that. And you I want to know what your response is because you're like, I was I was doing drugs. Yeah, yeah.

Gavin: 59:21

It's such a good show. It was a mic for this. Bill, um, tell us um bringing it up onto a really high sophisticated note, tell us about that time you will never forget as a father with your children.

SPEAKER_00: 59:37

There was this one time when um my ex-wife was flying with Oscar and he was like 18 months old, which if you're the father of a boy, you know is the fucking Al Qaeda era of their lives. Fucking terrorists. And she gets she flew from LA to um DC. I'm waiting at the gate because you could still do this back then. And she gets off the airplane. And my Oscar runs off first and he like jumps into my arms. He's so happy to see me. He's giving me a hug. And Laura comes over to me and she goes, I will never do that again. And then did not fucking talk the entire drive from the airplane. So I didn't experience whatever she experienced on the airplane, but yeah, every parent listening right now is literally nodding their head.

David: 1:00:31

We all like 18-month-old on a flight, just that that action of just like, I will never do this again. The worst. And I don't even need to know what happened on that plane because I know what happened on that plane.

Gavin: 1:00:43

Yeah.

David: 1:00:43

Exactly. Exactly.

Gavin: 1:00:45

Well, Bill, thank you very much for demeaning yourself and being on our stupid little podcast. I hope that our listener can take some sense of optimism that we will survive all of this. But in the meantime, could you work your ass off a little harder after watching Little Gully Blonde and fixing our goddamn problems?

unknown: 1:01:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 1:01:04

I'll do my best.

David: 1:01:05

And everyone go out there and have 10 friends vote. Yeah. You told us to do it, so we have to do it.

Gavin: 1:01:09

What Bill says. Yeah, do it. So something great that happened to me just recently is um open communication and learning from my children and realizing better ways to make them happy and not annoy the hell out of them. So my son had a dentist appointment yesterday, and I said to him afterwards, So how was it? He was like annoying. I said, Oh, really? How come? Because she talked at me the entire time, Dad. I was like, oh, well, that's and before I could even finish my reaction, he said, kind of like you. And I was like, oh, wait, what? And he said, you know, after school, when you ask me a bunch of questions, and I'm like, well, wait, what? And he then explained to me that he would prefer to debrief his day at dinner, not the second he gets out of school. And while my heart was broken and offended, and I all of the pearls of my necklace fell off as I clutched them, I do feel like I was able to be a grown-up in the situation and learn from it and think, I will just shut the fuck up and not bombard him with questions directly after school, like his dentist.

David: 1:02:26

But will you actually change or will you just continue on the same path? Because I feel like I've heard the story a few times. Can you give me 10 seconds without questions?

Gavin: 1:02:34

This is my something great. Can you not shit on my something great? Sorry.

David: 1:02:37

You're right, you're right. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. This is supposed to be the one positive part of every show and I'm ruining it. I apologize. Um, so my something great this week is um the girl at the front desk of LA Fitness. Let me explain. Okay. Um, if you've ever joined a um gym in your life, um, and then you've ever tried to quit that gym, you realize it is harder than getting off of Meff. Yeah. Those people will not let you out of those contracts. So I joined our local LA Fitness, and then I was kind of disappointed. It just the place was not great. And so I found a new gym and I was really excited. So I was like, I have to cancel my gym membership. And I was like, I am gonna kill myself because I'm gonna have to go in there and they're gonna go, Great, let me have you talk to my manager, and the manager's gonna be like, What can I do to keep you to stay here? And this 22-year-old is gonna have to try to pitch to me. Why? And I'm just and I I was just psyching myself up. I had diarrhea because I was so nervous about this. Uh-huh. And so I finally I'm like, I have to, I have to be brave, be a big boy. You're 45, you're fucking old. And so I walk up to the front desk and I go, I say to the girl, I say, Okay, I I I have to quit. I want to cancel. And she just goes, Can you show me your app? I said, Okay. So I showed her my app. She did a couple swipes. She pointed to a cancel membership button. I pressed it, she goes, You're good. I said, That's it. She goes, That's it. Your membership's good through, I think, like December. And then we'll stop charging you and you'll be done. And I was like, Thank you, LA fitness front desk girl, for not making me go through the fucking headache of getting rid of my membership with these bro types. So you are my something great. And that is our show. If you have any comments, suggestions, or general compliments, you can email us at gatriarchspodcast at gmail.com.

Gavin: 1:04:19

Or you can DM us on Instagram. We are at Gatriarchspodcast. On the internet, David is at DavidFMPon everywhere, and Gavin is at Gavin Lodge on a silence retreat.

David: 1:04:29

Please leave us a glowing five-star review wherever you get your podcasts.

Gavin: 1:04:34

Thanks. And we'll cancel your membership next time on another episode of Gatriarchs.