The2amClub
Welcome to The Two A.M. Club, where we have open and diverse conversations about parenting and partnerships across different cultures. Join us on an amazing journey as we explore the joys and challenges of raising children through the stories of parents from around the world.
Our collection of stories represents a tapestry of cultures and personal experiences. We celebrate our differences and the love we share for our children. While everyone's parenting journey is unique, we find common ground in the experiences that connect us.
Whether you're a new parent, experienced, or simply curious about raising children, The Two A.M. Club has something for you. Expect heartwarming stories, practical advice, and thought-provoking discussions. Our goal is to inspire, support, and connect with parents and partners worldwide.
At The Two A.M. Club, we value open-mindedness, diversity, and honesty. We create a community that embraces the universal journey of parenthood, where love knows no limits. Join us today and be part of a welcoming and supportive community of parents and partners.
We believe that parenthood is a journey filled with joy, challenges, and countless stories that deserve to be shared and in doing so we are collecting stories from parents about their experiences in navigating the intricate paths of parenting and partnership. We understand that parenthood isn't solely about raising children; it's also about nurturing and sustaining strong relationships with our partners.
Our aim is to weave a rich tapestry of stories that celebrate the beautiful, messy, and wonderful world of parenting and partnership. Your stories have the power to inspire and guide others on their path to growth and fulfillment. We are eager to share the triumphs, struggles, and lessons learned along the way. Whether you're seasoned parents or just embarking on this remarkable journey, we invite you to listen to the diverse experiences, insights, and advice that these stories hold.
Join us as we embark on this voyage, hand in hand, as parents and partners. Welcome to our discussioncast, where we embark on an honest and unfiltered journey through parenthood and partnership. As everyday individuals, we deeply empathize with the triumphs and challenges that come with these roles, just like many of you. Each episode of our show explores a wide range of topics and features special guests, offering a glimpse into the diverse experiences and perspectives within our global community. Despite our differences, we all share a common objective: navigating these challenges and joys in our own unique way.
The2amClub
Will They Spend Christmas With You?
What if the key to your child’s future had nothing to do with ABCs or numbers?
As our son graduates from nursery and steps into kindergarten, we’ve been rethinking everything we thought we knew about “school readiness.” At a recent meeting, the headmistress shared something that stopped us in our tracks: before children can thrive academically, they need life skills—cutting with scissors, dressing themselves, holding a pencil with control.
We learned why so many boys struggle with handwriting (hint: it’s about finger muscles, not laziness) and how small, everyday activities like coloring can set the stage for lifelong learning.
One teacher friend put it perfectly: Your child is a knife—you build it, teachers only sharpen it. Too often, parents hand over the unfinished job and are shocked when the results don’t match their hopes.
But here’s the real surprise: what kids want most from their parents isn’t more gifts, or even more time—it’s parents who are less stressed. That single truth reshapes how we see work-life balance, boundaries, and even what success as a parent means.
Because maybe the truest measure of parenting isn’t grades, good behavior, or career success—it’s whether your grown children still want to spend Christmas with you.
Join us for a candid, funny, and deeply honest conversation about raising confident kids, keeping family bonds strong, and building a home they’ll want to come back to—now and always.
Hello and welcome to our podcast. My honey bunny is multitasking. You know, they say that women can multitask, but this is really not true.
Speaker 2:It's correct.
Speaker 1:So, let's restart that. Hello and welcome to our podcast, the 2am club the honey bunnies.
Speaker 2:How are you doing my love? I'm very good. How? How you doing my love? I'm very good. How are you doing?
Speaker 1:good. Oh, it's so nice to hear your nice voice on this episode compared to the last time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, yeah well, yeah, well I'm happy for you too. I'm good, exciting day for me today I don't know how you feel.
Speaker 1:I'm super excited, I'm, I'm really. It's another, it's another. It's a phase closed with a new phase open yeah and somehow it feels very special to me.
Speaker 2:I feel for a lot of people. For a lot of people it's nothing, but I don't know. For me, today is a big day. It is muna nui's last day at nursery and now he's going into kindergarten.
Speaker 1:Now he's like really into the whole system exactly like.
Speaker 2:Yeah, instead of being in a group with 10 other kids or nine other kids, he's going to be in a group with 25 kids between the age of three and six, starting in three weeks hold on, so 25.
Speaker 1:So I have 50 parents that I need. Well, actually 48 parents that I need to deal with now yep, anyways, you'll not remember so that's true. I don't remember a lot of people's names so yeah, um.
Speaker 2:So what I'm doing? Multitasking actually. Um, I bought a couple presents for moon and we a couple, a slight under exaggeration of what she bought he is getting a um how do you in craftman?
Speaker 1:you can say it one more time in german and maybe people will understand. This is the way my honey bunny does it to me she tells me a word in German and then she just repeats it slower and just looks at me and just like you don't understand what that means.
Speaker 2:Well, anyways, it's for kids to.
Speaker 1:It's a cutout book.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I like a cutout book and a little scissors. I mean, also, one reason why I got it, yes, is, you know know, kind of a reward, because it's the last day and I want to make it special. Where's our reward? Uh, yeah, well, let's go for dinner. Um, yeah, so I don't know, I just wanted it a bit to make the day a bit special. And then, of course, last day of nursery means the, or the nursery is off now for three weeks and as we are not going on holiday this month, um, yeah, he needs some toys to play with and because mama is working and then I'm working overtime.
Speaker 1:Actually might I just say uh, unpaid overtime that's correct, and three weeks actually. It's pretty funny, because this morning, what was the comment you said about when I said, oh yeah, now I have three weeks of overtime with munanui?
Speaker 2:and you didn't say overtime. You're like oh, now I have three weeks with munanui.
Speaker 1:He's like oh, yeah, he has two weeks.
Speaker 2:No, I said I was like, oh, now my honey has to work full time and I was like oh yeah, I have to say this.
Speaker 1:A couple years ago a man would say that to a woman. This, this reaction would not be liked.
Speaker 2:No, I agree, it was not appropriate.
Speaker 1:Exactly, but pretty funny, pretty funny.
Speaker 2:Well, what I meant is you have to care for him the whole day.
Speaker 1:And for you, for the next three weeks, and for me yeah obviously. That's why I said overtime, overtime, unpaid overtime, yeah me, yeah that's why I said overtime, overtime, unpaid overtime.
Speaker 2:Yeah, can I talk to my union rep, union rep, parent union rep, uh, anyone around?
Speaker 1:why don't they have a parent union rep? I think that would probably be the biggest union in the world yeah, you know what?
Speaker 2:I really don't know how to pack and talk at the same time, so I told you you cannot.
Speaker 1:The thing is the microphone is like is what in your face?
Speaker 2:no, it's fixed. Yeah, actually I would need the, the portable one yeah, no yeah, no that's.
Speaker 1:That's always what I'm getting from my from my two boys. No, no, mama hans, you cannot pack at the same time, do this podcast.
Speaker 2:Okay, okay, I give up. All right, you're right. Anyways, what I will pack right after the podcast is a little box of Legos.
Speaker 1:Exactly. Finally he can get into Legos.
Speaker 2:Yeah, let's see. Let's see whether he's going to like it. Actually, I'm not sure yet.
Speaker 1:So I think my gift to myself will probably be like the star. I mean sorry, my gift to munanui for his finishing nursery and going into kindergarten will be the star wars lego pack. Right, I mean for him, not for me wink, wink, wink.
Speaker 2:I'm sure this is not really really for three-year-olds, no, but I'm it's.
Speaker 1:It's crazy, how fast time goes yeah, yeah, there you he's going into kindergarten.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and the crazy thing is he's doing things that a five or six-year-old does and he's not even there yet. So let's talk about when you went to. Unfortunately I wasn't there, but you went to the meeting for the bigger school and they were talking about what kids need to prepare to go to that school. I thought it was super interesting. This was while we were in our silent mode, yeah and uh, so it wasn't for munanui's age, actually, right, it was for the kids that are leaving the kindergarten and going into school yeah, so maybe we have to give a bit of background because, as we are learning now, coming from different backgrounds, school is starting at very different ages depending on the country.
Speaker 2:I think Germany is rather late. So the first three years, typically you go to nursery or you stay at home or whatever. So that's really the choice from the parents. Then, as of three years, typically you start going to kindergarten and then with six years you start going to school and, uh, in the kindergarten, let's say the last year, they kind of call it preschool. Yeah, so you, they start learning some stuff to get ready for school. But I would say, really the real school in germany, when we also call it school and not kindergarten anymore, it's when they are six years old, and the meeting that you were referring to actually was in the kindergarten specifically for the kids that will go to the school the year after. So for kids around five years old, so in two years from now exactly, exactly.
Speaker 2:So I I didn't know that, to be honest. I mean I just went because it sounded interesting, um, because the title of the meeting was something how to get your kid ready for school, and I mean, eventually, you know, this will also be important for us. I mean not at that point in time, yeah, but finally, obviously I was the only parent with such a young child. All the other parents had kids that were around five years old. Okay, awkward, yeah, no, I'm not one of those overambitious moms that wants her kids to overachieve.
Speaker 1:Not at all.
Speaker 2:But yeah, it was to be fair. I mean, I asked at the beginning of the meeting, because it was the headmaster and the headmaster beginning of the meeting, because it was the headmaster and the headmaster even of the school that munanui would be assigned to, um, and I asked her whether I'm wrong.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean headmistress, not headmaster, uh head headmistress, mistress, okay, headmistress, okay, um, and I just asked her, you know like, am I completely wrong? She's like no, actually they would like to have more parents there with younger kids, because if you only start the preparation a year before going to school or you realize in this meeting a lot of topics are missing, to kind of fill that gap in a year is hard. If you still have two or three years' time, you can kind of get ready. And this is why I also really thought it was super good to be in this meeting because, um yeah, they were really sitting in the front of the class, obviously you didn't why not you?
Speaker 2:didn't see education as a privilege. Of course I saw no, unfortunately I didn't.
Speaker 1:It was uh, yeah, no. I love it you take it for granted now. But that's true. Yeah, yeah, but, yeah, but anyways go.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, no, and I mean then they showed us all the different aspects that are important for the development of the kid going to school. You know, it was simple things, or what I thought is kind of simple being able to take stairs by yourself, close your shoes open, close your jacket, know how to undress, redress for sports class, going to the bathroom, being diaper free, which for me, you know, I was like well, six isn't that normal, but apparently it's not, yeah, so that's why they mentioned it. So this was very basic topics.
Speaker 1:I think one of the things that really hit me as something was holding a pen and being able to cut with a pair of scissors.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, that was also something you know for the fine motorical skills. They're like please teach your kids how to cut paper and how to use a glue, because they do this, but they are not going to teach them in school. They actually expect you to know it. Um, yeah, so this was on the on the craft side of things, then on the language side of things, I mean, they really emphasize to read to your kids. Just, they're like read, read, read, read, read. Please read to them. It is so beneficial and every kid loves it.
Speaker 1:Every kid loves to sit with you on the couch and you're reading to them I mean he did, and one of so I my presence to moon and we were all books, literally english books, nachio about the ocean, dinosaurs, um picturpedia picturpedia about history and geography, and I think also one of the things that this headmistress says was the fact that they could enunciate how many of the same object there were.
Speaker 1:Instead of having to count one, two, three, they could say there's three birds or five chickens, and he's already starting to do that now, which you know we've been training up to since, since I got to know that exactly since you got to know that, came back home you fed me the information. I was like, oh wow, this like especially the writing thing, you know, being able to hold a pen or pencil, yeah, in between your fingers like that, instead of like grabbing it with a full fist.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean that was also interesting. For example, we say I mean honestly I'm not sure it's true, but that boys typically don't like to color as much as girls. So they also ask please do this. You know whether it's a girl or a boy, because they develop very important muscles in the fingers and I was like wow. And she said, very interesting, a lot of the boys in class they have just a bad messy handwriting I mean. In German we call it Zitterhandschrift, zitter like shivering, shivering handwriting.
Speaker 1:It looks like you have a cold.
Speaker 2:Yeah, a little bit, and she said the reason is because they haven't developed the necessary muscles before, because they didn't color or they didn't, you know, write or use it. You know, they simply didn't use their hands in that way. I was like, wow, so, so interesting. And then I think, another aspect coming in then talking to another parent who has two boys that are a bit older. She's like, you know, the education system is, especially at the beginning, very much made for girls, so it's like coloring flowers and you know you're doing a lot of the stuff that maybe for boys it's not that interesting. And I hate to make this distinct, to make this distinction here between girls and boys, because I believe they have both the same. But, um, yeah, apparently, I mean, this is just what the teachers were saying right, like, boys tend to not color as much as girls, and so that's why, um, they tend to have a worse handwriting but do they?
Speaker 1:is that?
Speaker 2:now, does that mean anything about say something about the intelligence?
Speaker 1:absolutely not yeah, I mean this would be an interesting question to know. Do they tend not to be coloring more because the parents don't color more with their sons? That's what I believe I mean at the end of the day, I don't see why it would be any different right maybe the difference of colors that they would like, but I mean, but even I love pink.
Speaker 2:That doesn't mean anything, right no, exactly, and, and I think it's exactly like you say, it's exactly. They are just not offered. I believe, yeah, from a bias, just an unconscious bias, you have, you just not. I mean to be fair moon, and he also doesn't have a like a, a toy.
Speaker 1:You know how do you um, like a doll oh yeah, he doesn't have his favorite toy no, no, a doll he doesn't have a doll actually we never gave him a doll, which with the girl.
Speaker 2:I don't know we would have given one. To be honest, I I don't find that the. I don't know, I've never thought about it, but doll doll.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like I think. So I don't think I would?
Speaker 2:I had a doll as a girl I, I had a woody woodpecker I think, my dad still has. It's just a little plush yeah, but it's a plush like but it still looks like a doll because it has like two arms and a little head. But I do believe we are a bit biased in what kind of choice of toys or games we give them Of course I 100% agree with that I mean we're super biased.
Speaker 1:We give them toys and stuff that is going to build them up intellectually.
Speaker 2:Exactly. Is that correct? No idea.
Speaker 1:He has like two soccer balls that we didn't even buy.
Speaker 2:Oh no, we bought that one remember.
Speaker 1:Or that lady bought it for us.
Speaker 2:That's why we didn't buy it, you're right, yeah, yeah, so no, I mean, but honestly I love this journey and this thinking about which toy to get and having this education topic in the back of my mind. Yeah, I mean, you know. Now maybe a lot of parents say why do you do that it's come by itself, blah, blah. Yeah, I just do it.
Speaker 1:I don't think anything comes by itself.
Speaker 2:And that's what I see, that's what I think you know for me I mean honestly my target after I came back from this meeting, you know.
Speaker 1:Was a checklist. Yeah, no, and I was like I think you literally had a checklist.
Speaker 2:No, I took pictures. So the thing was, I really like going to school as a kid. The thing was, I really like going to school as a kid and I really wish Munanui will have the same experience and I believe that if he's not struggling, if the first experiences he collects in school will be nice ones because it's not too hard. It's not about being not hard, yeah, but if I can help making this a positive experience, I just want to do it. You know, I mean why making him suffer because he doesn't know how to use scissors? I mean this is, you know. I mean, is it going to help him in life? Probably not.
Speaker 2:But if it's going to make it a bit easier for him the first years, because he already knows how to cut a paper into, I don't know, a house or whatever they're going to have to do, why not teaching him now? And he likes it? I mean, he loves spending time with us. Anything you teach him he loves. Yeah, he's interested into anything, to be honest. So you can do it in a nice and playful way. Obviously I'm not the teacher. It's like, like you know, we have a schedule.
Speaker 1:We need to now have painting class, you know, but it's just including this somehow in the you know in in the afternoon activity. I think it's. It becomes just normal, like it's something that is just part of his life, his routine yeah, and you know I for me it's.
Speaker 1:It's really the start of who he is going to be as a human adult. And this, for me, is the crazy part Right now. These years are probably the most critical part of building. You know, it's his Lego block, it's his first blocks of becoming an adult and how he's going to be. What's he going to be like?
Speaker 2:And you know, this morning it was so sweet because right now he's going to be, what's he going to be like? And you know, this morning it was so sweet because right now he's sleeping in the middle of us. We have a little bad situation our his bed became the guest bed that we're expecting tomorrow we need to buy a new bed and we need to, we just, but it's really complicated yeah, how is it?
Speaker 1:I don't know, it's always anything that has to do with the bed is a complicated thing, pillows and beds, bed sheets such a fucking. We have issues with decision making here it's the only place where we have issues.
Speaker 2:Decision making is the bed so, anyways, he's sleeping in between of us, right? Now also we.
Speaker 2:We kind of like it right now as well, except for his foot in my face yeah, and so usually he leans towards me when I'm sleeping and he's like half lying, you know, his head on me and so on. And then this morning, because I left early to go to the gym and um, by the way, in brackets, very proud that I could say that I didn't do that the last three years, just saying um and no, and then he immediately went to you and cuddled next to your body and I don't know it was.
Speaker 1:It was really heartwarming to see how he also enjoys, you know, to be being close to us I think the cutest was last night before we went to bed, because, like what he does when he goes, papa, and then he comes he's. So what is it? Slime schleimer such a schleimer.
Speaker 1:He gets that from you 100 it wasn't a schleimer and I'm like oh, I love you too, what do you want? Right before bed we all were all three of us and I was like Munanui, and he looked at me fast, I love you. And then he started laughing because he knew exactly what I was doing.
Speaker 2:The thing is, this year is from daddy.
Speaker 1:Daddy gets from dad. Not the Schleimer part, the smart ass.
Speaker 2:It's also the Schleimer part. You also know what you have to do to get what you want. That's not Schleimer, that's intelligence, that's know what do you have to do to get what you want. That's not schleimer I. Just that's intelligence, that's just intelligent. But yeah, you're right, you can see his personality more and more, even though I believe, I mean, he always had a very strong personality. You could see the first traits already very, very early he has a really kind yesterday.
Speaker 1:So there's the book. Um, this book fair in the middle of downtown this another thing I love about germany right, so you get these free book fair in the middle of downtown. Um, they put bean bags on the floor so everybody can sit there. They have adult books, kids books, and so we go there after the, after going to the play, the. We're sitting down there and one of our friends who has two kids, one that's aged Munanui's age and then the smaller one, their last one. How old is he again?
Speaker 2:I think one year.
Speaker 1:One year old and the dad goes, gets us beers and he gets two ice creams for Munanui and the other kid. And the other kid didn't want to share his ice cream with his little baby brother and Munanui was looking at me and then he was looking at the baby, and then he was looking at his friend and then he was looking at me and he offered his ice cream.
Speaker 2:To the brother.
Speaker 1:To the little baby brother.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's so sweet, sweet.
Speaker 1:I didn't even know yeah, and um, and I was like, very good, like you know, he's a really big sharer, like he really. And then I told him, and then the baby started crying again because he wanted more. And I could see him. When I knew his face he was like I mean, if I give more of my ice cream, I will have less. And this is where my system goes in, right. And I go okay, this is what you're going to do. You're going to take three licks of your ice cream and then you give one lick to the baby.
Speaker 1:And that's what he started doing. Oh, he was going one, two, three, and then he gave one to the kid and then he went back again. One, two, three, gave it back to the kid, and then he went back again One, two, three, gave it back to the kid. And it happened a couple times. And next thing, you know, the little kid, the brother, he shared his ice cream. But the crazy thing is, munanui did it without having me to say it. He holds doors for other people, he shares, he says please, he says thank you and, yeah, a little bit. Sometimes I can see that he's doing it because he wants to get something, but I'm really proud that he does that. Like I, can see that there's a genuine good human being that is growing up inside of him.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's very kind and also very happy.
Speaker 1:So what did? What did the? Because we also had our. Well, you had, when I knew he had a fever of 40 degrees and so I was at home with him and I couldn't go to the gym. But you had a last um end of the school year meeting with, uh, the teacher, right and what-hmm. And what did she say?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Not to boast about our child. 100%, I want to boast about our child.
Speaker 2:Yeah. She said that he's a very happy little boy. He's very kind, I mean, yeah, very far for his age. She said she's amazed by his speech, knowing three languages, that he speaks this well.
Speaker 1:And um, yeah, I think he's one of the only kids that they actually understand.
Speaker 2:Yeah, properly when I think one of his teachers said yeah, there's only two kids that they always understand, and it's him and someone else. Yeah, so, yeah, I think just in in all. Like the thing is also, he's so interested in everything. So she says, in the morning circle he's participating, he shares stories, he sings when the group is singing, he loves to dance, he plays with all the toys and yeah, yeah, he's just very, very interested in so many things. But he's also very social. So actually the other kids really enjoy playing with him and he initiates games. So he's the one starting something and then telling the others hey, join, play with me. And they really like to be around him because he is this happy, happy little boy. And, yeah, this is this for me, because I mean, ok, I'm also into this. Hey, let's, let's give you some knowledge, you know, let's learn how to count, let's learn the letters, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 2:And of course it's, of course it's nice for me to see that he knows it and there's progress. But you know, anyways, this will come and I know. But you know, anyways, this will come and I know, yeah, um, what for me is even more important is really the values I want him to be, this personality that, uh yeah, he's happy, kind, um, protective as well, so um has empathy. So one of the teachers mentioned that when other kids cry that he immediately tries to help. He will go there, then he will get a teacher, and so this for me, you know really, there I feel very proud. And also now for the kindergarten group. So what happened? So he will go to kindergarten. It's in the same house where his nursery is.
Speaker 1:Same building.
Speaker 2:Same building exactly. They will. Just he will be upstairs in the kindergarten group, so they already had some time to go there and to have a look. And yeah, also there. The teacher said it was super easy. The kids already all know his name and he's immediately playing with them. He's not shy and trying all the new, new toys and feeling very comfortable and I think this is something that I feel. I think he has a very big confidence.
Speaker 1:I think he's very confident, super confident, and I like that.
Speaker 1:I mean when I go to the skate park with him with his little bicycle that's so funny I mean this kid, just the way he walks, or he's on his bicycle, going off these little ramps.
Speaker 1:Then he sees some big kids on their you know, grinding away with their bikes and whatnot, and munanui just nonchalant goes up to them, he sits down and starts talking with them. And the crazy thing is these kids in the beginning I can see them just kind of like ah, get away from here, you little baby, blah, blah, blah, right, and he just sits there and he just starts talking and next thing, you know, he's like hey, come with me, come with me and spiel, and come and play with me. And these kids are just following him. And then he will ride by with the other kids and he'll look at me and he goes papa, das ist meine freunde. I was like papa, these were my friends. And I just have to really laugh because he like wiggles his way in with the patience of papa, the smooth coolness of papa and the intellect of mama, like this kid is.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's true it's quite scary sometimes, but that was so cool to see, I mean also. Then one of the kids took off his helmet, so obviously he told him can you please help me to take?
Speaker 1:off my helmet and then he carried the bicycle behind him. Because I told Munanui come back and bring your bicycle, and then the kid brings the bicycle back and Munanui come back and bring your bicycle, and then the kid brings the bicycle back and Munanui just walking.
Speaker 2:So he definitely knows that he's a charming boy and he knows how to use it. It's incredible, but this is, yeah, I mean.
Speaker 1:He's very confident in who he is.
Speaker 1:And I see it with other kids. When he's playing in the sandpit and a kid will come and take away his toy, he doesn't get angry right away, he just kind of calmly he's like, all right, you take that. And then he waits till the perfect moment and he will go in, take the toy back, but very slow, put his shoulder in between him and the toy and turn around and walk away. And you know, this is this, is something I just, I just look at it from far away and I let these things happen because I know you have to build confidence.
Speaker 1:You know it's so easy to destroy someone's confident that's true but to build confidence is so hard and you know it's in those kinds of moments where he's climbing up a tree or doing something, where I don't run and just be like oh my god like be careful. No, no, no, I let him do it because I know it's a controlled, you know it's a controlled danger and I know if he falls maybe he'll get a bloody something. But you know these, these playgrounds that are German playgrounds, are made really good. They're made so that the kids don't hurt themselves extremely right.
Speaker 1:And you know him climbing up something really high and I see him when he gets all the way to the top. This, like you know, jigger, jigger, boom, boom like you know, he's like yeah, and I'm like that moment, right there is building confidence and to get that is super hard, yeah, yeah if I were to take away all the dangerous stuff, he would do? He wouldn't have no confidence whatsoever exactly, exactly.
Speaker 2:No, this is true, yeah. So sorry for the super praise of our son, but I think today is a day to be proud of him and today. Today is a day to be proud of us and of him exactly, and and I just wanted to come to that and to be proud of us, because I mean, yeah, I would say a big part of this is also because of us, yeah, yeah, I mean, we are also very pretty confident people I was just uh, this morning I was talking to our old, our nana, from dubai and she was asking us oh yeah, so how is it for getting spots in the kindergarten in germany?
Speaker 1:I said, I mean, I think everything that people talked about problem wise, we haven't really faced any of them correct um, I think one of the biggest problems for people is that they don't get the first pick that they want and because of that they say how hard things are. But actually it's just because they haven't done multiple picks yet, right, but for us so far hasn't really become. There hasn't really been a problem on that part, right.
Speaker 2:No, not at all.
Speaker 1:And she was telling us how in Dubai right now it's actually quite hard to find spots in the kita and the schools and yeah, because apparently so many people are moving there. But she said, yeah, I mean now you have to. You know, the kid is it's privileged to go into the school. And I just started laughing and she looks at me. She's like why are you laughing? And I was like arlene. I mean, to be honest, I think the school is privileged to have us going to them. Yeah, it pretty much says everything about the confidence that we have but it is true.
Speaker 2:I mean also, they told us they were happy that we were there and today we gave little presents to the teachers to appreciate them. Actually Munanui and Mo. They made some jam together, cherry jam.
Speaker 1:We made a card where we put Muna Nui's handprint on it and some nice chocolate that I hope they appreciate it. I hope they appreciate it as much as we appreciate them helping us teach our child to become a really good adult and human. I think teachers really don't get the props that they deserve. You know what I mean. I think that they're undervalued in today's society 100%.
Speaker 2:I mean I was shocked that I didn't see other parents bringing presents and I mean it's just a little appreciation, right, it is just a jam and a thank you card and a piece of chocolate.
Speaker 1:I think people are so privileged today that they don't they take these things for granted or maybe it's not privilege, it's just selfishness.
Speaker 2:they're just so focused on themselves and their problems, they just don't see anything else around them. That's how I feel.
Speaker 1:I see it as just. We have a friend. She's a teacher right For kindergartens. Our friend that lives up north and she talks about the kids are not the hardest. It's not the problem, we're not the kids, it's actually the, the adults, the parents. And, um, I remember in the beginning of our journey in parenting, she told me something that still sticks with me today, and it's it's a phrase. It's a phrase that I really like to use a lot with other parents. And she told me Mo, I'm going to tell you what parenting is like.
Speaker 1:In a cooking style, your child is a knife. You build the knife. Us teachers. We are there to sharpen the knife. We're not there to build the knife, that's your job. We're not there to build the handle. We're not there to mix the metals, put it in the fire, you know, beat it into the knife you want. We are there to sharpen it to make sure that it's ready to cut sharply in their future life. And I think that's such a beautiful way of putting what teaching and parenting is. It's two things that go together. But so many parents take that sharpening and they take it for granted and they actually think that it's the teacher's job to do all of the work yeah, yeah, yeah exactly and I think it becomes worse with two parents working at home.
Speaker 1:Uh, two parents working, sorry, I think. With two parents working, yeah, they don't have the time to do making the knife right so then, they just like.
Speaker 2:Well, we pay taxes, and so the teacher should be making the knife right yeah, yeah, they outsource this and I think, outsource it, and I think this is also, you know what we're, why we are having all these little princes and princesses? Because out of both parents working there comes a lot of guilt, and then they get everything they want and we see how manipulative they are with the age of three.
Speaker 1:Talk about manipulated.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, I'm the one. By the way, I'm the working one, so I'm the one buying. By the way, I'm the working one, so I'm the one buying the presents.
Speaker 1:She comes back home. I'm like not buying him big things because I feel bad. And then she comes back home. Oh, I got him a new this and a new that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, true, yeah, but you are not, and that's good. You know, like this is the thing, um, if both are in this situation, you know, I think, um, and have this guilt and then trying to compensate this with material stuff, you know, I think this becomes complicated. Oh, and today I listened to a super um, I don't know why this was actually part of this podcast. Um, was it like? Why? Where did I hear this? Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly, I heard this podcast and it was about that families, kids actually have no representation in current politics.
Speaker 1:They have no lobby a thousand percent agree with that and um so which is the craziest thing, because these ultra conservatives all talk about family and how we need to build that up, but then it's not even represented inside of it, and it's the same for the left party that also talk about that. Yeah, I mean, it's also not represented and exactly.
Speaker 2:and also when you look at the voters, I mean he said within the next, after the next four years, actually, decisions, voting decisions, will be made by 60 to 65-year-olds, because they will be such a majority of voters. So yeah, I mean a different topic, yeah, but what did I want to say? I actually forgot now what was interesting.
Speaker 1:Teachers. We went from teachers to the fact that they are there to sharpen knives, not build the whole knife. The fact that parents take that for granted abuse. It believe that the teachers should do all the work and yeah, exactly, ah, exactly.
Speaker 2:And now, um, they made a survey for kids, like what would they wish from their parents? And?
Speaker 1:it was not to have.
Speaker 2:No, it's not more time, and that was interesting, it's having less stressed parents ah wow when I heard, because I was also okay, for sure they'll say more time. No, it's actually having less stressed parents, because of course, when you are, a working couple.
Speaker 2:You know you're constantly working, trying to fit everything in your schedule working, taking care of your kid, you know, compensating and so on and so forth. So I mean this does not, you know, I mean the kid feels it, and then we are stressed. We'll be, you know, more easy to to, I don't know, be angry with them or whatever. But that was their biggest wish less stressed parents, wow, wow huh, I mean makes sense yeah but.
Speaker 1:I always say you know like it's? When I see a stressed out kid or he's overreacting or whatever, I look at the parent and you can see exactly the kid is the mirror of the parent. And this is really really true. Yeah, and yeah. Unfortunately, we live in a world today where the house prices are just through the goddamn roof. People can't afford it. Rental prices are going crazy, food prices are going crazy. You know, we are lucky that you have. We're really privileged that we're able to live the life we live today because of you, yeah, thanks to you. And not a lot of people get that. But I also know that there's a lot of people that have the privilege of both parents having great jobs, but none of both parents don't want to give up the great job because the money trumps that. Less stress, yeah, so it goes both ways. I mean there's parents that have to do it because otherwise they won't be able to afford anything. Yeah, and then you have those who can afford.
Speaker 1:But they choose not to they choose not to, because the money is more important to them than time with their kid.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I still remember my very first boss that I had and when she told me their concept because both parents reduced their time. I think you know the average hours in Germany is 40 hours per week.
Speaker 1:You don't do that, do you.
Speaker 2:I said the average, and I think they both reduced to like 28 hours each, but they really split it 50-50. And this I found that and that was I mean, when did I start working? Yeah, I mean, this was 20 years ago that she told me that story and I was super impressed that both not only the woman but also the man both reduced the hours to both be able to raise the kid, and then, I don't know, it was her Monday, tuesday and then him Wednesday, thursday and her again Friday or something. You know something of that sort. So I really like that and you can feel that's not happening.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you are right, we have quite, yeah, quite some couples, and I think the majority in Germany. The way it works is 70% of the couples. The wife will then reduce her hours and the husband will work full time. Yeah, but even in this concept it's like a half. You know, it's like not fish, not not flesh, not fish, not meat, kind of. I mean, it's still super stressy for the woman. Yeah, she doesn't want to drop out completely from the job, which is also completely understandable, um, so she keeps it a little bit so that it's there, but then of course she also does the majority at home, and then it becomes actually more stressy than having a full-time job.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so is um. Yeah, it's not an easy, easy one, but yeah, we see sometimes also really self-made, and it really depends on how you set your priorities it's really about priorities.
Speaker 1:At the end of the day, it's really about what are your priorities? Yeah, because a lot of them the priorities is really about the money thing. It's putting away more money for their retirement and buying bigger apartments so that they can rent out and whatnot. And I always think about the fact is okay, you're going to have all that. But there's a great saying. I forgot who said it. It was some rich, rich guy who was talking about what it meant to be successful and he said for me, success and I think the funny thing was it he wishes that was how he is successful, but he's not.
Speaker 1:He said for me, success is measured by the fact that your children want to spend christmas with you oh, I love it, it's beautiful and, and the thing is, so many parents put into their retirement, they invest in their financial future, but they don't invest in their parental child future. And then, when the child doesn't want to spend time with you, they ask the job, but why? And then the kid is like well, you weren't fucking there, why should I be there? If you weren't there, why would I be there? I love the fact that for you you we spend christmas with. You know your parents all the time, but your mom was always there and she part-time worked raising two kids in a very small place and they slept in the living room so that you guys would have a room for yourself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, sacrifice. She sacrificed for you guys and I know, and there was a different priority, exactly.
Speaker 1:And now you want to give back? Yeah, exactly, and I think a lot of parents they forget that there was a different priority, exactly, and now you? Want to give back. Yeah, exactly, you know and and I think a lot, of, a lot of parents they forget that. Yeah, and I always tell svenia, I love the fact that she is driven and she wants to really change the world, and I always say, if you're going to do that, the sacrifice needs to. It's not about financial sacrifice.
Speaker 1:You can't sacrifice for money no you need to sacrifice to making the world a better place yeah then then at least, because then of course, munanui, one day he's going to be like ah, daddy, I hate you for this and, mommy, I hate you for that. It's gonna happen, but he cannot hate us for because we did it for money. Money isn't everything.
Speaker 1:It's important, but it's not everything, and I think we should measure success on how much time your kids spend with you yeah, that's that they're there, that they want to help you, that they want to, and I think this is in our, in the society we have today. Money, money is just it's important, but it has become this, it's become everything.
Speaker 2:The alone driver. I mean, I've always said that, right, I work in this industry, the money industry, because I wanted to understand it, because my feeling is it's driving everything. If you do not understand something in this world, look at the money and you will understand. And I, until today, unfortunately, this is true, this is really the truth and, yeah, you're right, it completely got out of proportion, right, I mean, today we can have anything. Yeah, okay, it's, it's uh, um, not for everyone. This is also clear, and the scissors are opening and the inequalities are increasing, very unhealthy. But yeah, that's a whole other podcast, um, but yeah, I think, and think this is a beautiful one, measuring success on how much time your kids want to spend with you what is it?
Speaker 1:no, I just thought you were going to continue a little bit more, because it started off and then I asked you for the, the phone so I can film you. Unfortunately we don't have like a full crew of people. You know, like these really cool tiktok videos where someone is like filming you and then it goes to me and then you forgot to take your phone, and you know it's perfect.
Speaker 2:You know, I'm looking. Therefore, I'm looking out of the window and I'm actually observing a bird that's on this little on the feeder.
Speaker 1:You know, no opposite, yeah so cute.
Speaker 2:Um no, I think, honey bunny, what I have to say yeah, I'm really hungry um it's lunchtime here.
Speaker 1:I love you I love you too. I'm really proud of us. You wanted to say the same exactly wanted to say the same thing I'm proud of us.
Speaker 2:It's an amazing day.
Speaker 1:I'm proud of our son yes, he's great I'm proud of the sacrifices we make.
Speaker 2:It's not easy. Yeah, I mean also maybe saying that right now he's a lot of time saying no, I brush your teeth.
Speaker 1:No, okay, let's, we did the praises. I mean, he's being a real pain in the ass a lot of times too. Let's just, let's just be really upfront about that that is pretty new that's from you. That's not a pain in the ass part is totally absolutely not oh, you are such a beautiful pain in the ass.
Speaker 2:If I could describe you as a flower, it would be a cactus flower no, but I mean, yeah, I think that I don't know when it started a couple weeks back, but he really started to change a bit, becoming more difficult.
Speaker 1:I mean she said one of the kids in the school is saying that and he might be getting it from her.
Speaker 2:So that was for the crying. Yeah, like now, when he doesn't get what he wants, he starts crying. He never cried before. And then, yeah, the teacher said there's one girl in his group, she does that a lot. Maybe he's copying, yeah, lot. Maybe he's copying um, yeah.
Speaker 1:But she also said that they feel there's a change coming, so that could, um, that could be okay. It's excuses, but it's just we also.
Speaker 2:The fact is it's there exactly, and it's a constant of do I now scream at you right away? How long am I gonna play this game? Until I scream at you or until I put you in the corner and whatever I say, go in the corner. I would feel like really this, this white woman, you know, I feel. But it works. So far it still works, right, but um, yeah, it's just no fun.
Speaker 1:Yeah, screaming at your kid, correcting your kid, especially outside, I feel uncomfortable because I don't see other parents doing this I actually you know what I was thinking about that just this morning, because when I scream, I mean yeah my voice echoes as if god opened up the sky itself and screamed I mean come on, yeah, like when I, when I when I scream inside of the, in these cobblestone streets, I mean I see even parents, like adults, turn around like oh shit, what happened?
Speaker 2:yeah yeah, exactly, but that's a thing I mean.
Speaker 1:You don't see that a lot and I was thinking, because yesterday I was, I was screaming at munanui to do something and then I remember some parents were looking at me and why are they looking at me like in tahiti?
Speaker 1:this would be in tahiti. They would look at me and be like why haven't you slapped him yet? Or why haven't you thrown your flip-flop at his face yet, whereas here they're like oh my god, he's a screaming parent, you know exactly, you feel so judged and you feel so uncomfortable, but honestly I believe they have to be corrected.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it is just that I mean, you know I I really cannot discuss every evening 10 minutes why he needs to brush his teeth.
Speaker 1:Sorry, he just gotta do it it's like adults need to be corrected too exactly. You go down the highway. There's a speed limit. You go over the speed limit. You get a fine, exactly no one will discuss with you bring correction back I think we should make correction good again, not too much, just just the right amount, but, but again, I think it become.
Speaker 2:You know, it's uncomfortable, it's a constant struggle of is it now too early to scream? Is it now okay? Is it, you know? Like, when do you need to change your voice? You know, honestly, most of the time I'm also laughing and smiling inside of me, yeah, because I know he's testing me, but I really want him to know there is a border right and there's something that he cannot cross. And, yeah, I felt it's getting a bit better again. I mean, I think it was the worst last week I have no idea what happened.
Speaker 2:Now it's getting better again.
Speaker 1:But yeah, I mean, it's not all unicorns and flowers here um, I was telling, I was telling my friend yesterday that I was with his other kid, how I told him you know, because I also use the, do you want to go to the corner? Which I'm like, wow, I can't believe. I'm telling my child that because I was never. My parents never, ever ever sent me to a corner. They threw flip-flops and wooden spoons and belts and I got talked to before I went into the store.
Speaker 1:My mom would be like listen, we are going into the store right now and you're going to behave. You're not going to cry, you're not going to ask for anything or you're going to get your ass whooped. Yeah, like. I remember the first time I told my mom was like if you hit me, I will call the police and they will come. And she was like it will take them 10 to 15 minutes before they get here and I prefer to go to jail for murder than just for beating you. But anyway.
Speaker 1:So I tell muda nui a couple times like, do you want to go to the corner? And he looked at me and he was calculating on what he would answer and he go. And he just said, nonchalant, yeah, I'll go to the corner. But I was thinking. It's like are you saying this to me because you want to fucking get out of my area, just to get away from me, or you really understand why you need to go to the corner? And I think it's because he was like I don't want to deal with you, dad, I'm just going to go to the corner so I don't have to deal with this. You know, like this whole thing right there, whatever you're doing, I don't want to deal with that. So I'm going to go to the corner. And I could see in his eyes that he was and I was proud of that. But I and I was proud of that, but I couldn't show him that I was proud, so I had to just turn an angry face. But inside I was like oh you, little motherfucker.
Speaker 2:I cannot believe it.
Speaker 1:Oh, you're so smart. I'm so proud of you. But it's pretty funny. Oh man, yeah it's such a little pain in the ass. It's just a beautiful pain in the ass.
Speaker 2:Exactly All right, and with this and with this, we end our podcast for today. I love you I love you too. I'm so proud of us.
Speaker 1:I'm proud of you, proud of me, proud of him exactly proud all around exactly love you, love, bye, love love you too.