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“Walks, Worries, and the Work of Staying Human”

• Season 3 • Episode 5

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A slow autumn walk turns into a wide-open conversation about raising a child without letting fear run the show. We share the simple script that ended our son’s night bottle in two days (thanks, dentist), and why so many “hard” habits are really about our comfort more than our kids’ needs. From there, we pull on threads every parent knows: pre-vacation work sprints, the tug to micromanage when control slips, and the guilt that flares when a casual comment lands on a tender day.

We also go deeper into belonging and perception. One of us names the weight of being visibly foreign—those side glances that feel sharp in a tense political climate—and we talk about the drift toward indirect scolding: anonymous notes about elevators, dogs, and recycling that miss the human moment. Our response is small and practical: knock and talk, not note and judge. Smile first. Build ties where you live. Replace suspicion with neighborly curiosity. These are the tiny habits that push back against the algorithms of outrage.

When our child spots a painful newspaper image, we face the question many families are asking: how do you explain hard news to a small kid? We choose honest, simple language—no gore—and anchor it in empathy: some people don’t have enough food; we can help in small ways. That bridges to the bigger media diet: outrage pays, nuance struggles, and constant updates can warp reality. We reach for Zuversicht—a uniquely German blend of confident hope—and share how to practice it: narrow your news window, choose trustworthy sources, and reinvest your attention locally. Along the way, we compare travel myths about the US and Europe, caution against sweeping claims, and argue for forming opinions on foot, not through feeds.

If you’ve wrestled with bedtime habits, travel jitters, identity, or the doom loop of headlines, this walk is for you. Subscribe, share with a parent who needs a lift, and leave a review with the one small change you’re making this week—we’ll read our favorites on a future show.

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☕ Recorded between school drop-off and coffee break — fueled by curiosity, honesty, and a little Zuversicht.


Moeava:

Hello and welcome to our podcast.

Svenja:

The honey bunnies.

Moeava:

How are you doing, my love?

Svenja:

I'm good. Good morning.

Moeava:

Good morning.

Svenja:

It's a beautiful autumn morning.

Moeava:

It's a little bit chilly.

Svenja:

A little bit chilly.

Moeava:

And we're doing uh podcast on the walk.

Svenja:

Exactly. We just on the run. And now that would be too difficult. We just dropped off Munanui in the kindergarten.

Speaker:

Yeah.

Moeava:

And everything is good.

Svenja:

Yeah, I just got a little summary. I haven't actually I didn't go for a while, right, to drop him off. No. So I didn't see the kindergarten teacher.

Moeava:

So I never get a summary. All I get is okay. And if it's not okay, little explanation. Which is never enough for my wife.

Svenja:

No, I think they're just not that comfortable to speak in English this much.

Moeava:

So I just got the whole.

Svenja:

Yeah, I know. But I think they just, you know, they would like to tell you in English, but then they feel shy and so you get the you get the short summary, but also you don't exactly need the long summary.

Moeava:

Exactly. You don't need it. I also don't need the long summary. I'm also very happy with the short summary. I'm in and out. Yeah, exactly. That's what I enjoy about the kita. I don't need the whole thing. Yeah. That and I don't need the little drawings they make. Like just keep them.

unknown:

Keep them.

Svenja:

The little drawings with the name.

Moeava:

It's not even drawings right now, it's just more like a Kritzelkratzel. A Kritzelkratzel. Kritzelkratzel sounds like something you have in between your throat when you have a little cold. But anyways, how's things? How are you doing, my baby?

Svenja:

I'm doing good. Last week I was a little bit more ipsy. I think I had this hormonal, I don't know, imbalance.

Moeava:

Last week?

Svenja:

Mm-hmm.

Moeava:

I know that was more like a only last week.

Svenja:

Hello? Are you trying to tell me something?

Moeava:

No, I'm not trying.

Svenja:

He thinks he's funny, he's not.

Moeava:

Yeah, plus he was sick on top of that.

Svenja:

Yeah, I got a little cold.

Moeava:

And uh everyone's getting a cold right now, I feel.

Svenja:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone is sick. You just need to hope that it's not.

Moeava:

Also, you've been under a lot of stress. Work has been quite intense.

Svenja:

Yeah, we're gonna be on holiday for three weeks, and for me before this means work so much that uh Yeah, because normally you don't work so much.

Moeava:

Yeah, I was just telling Judith the other day, I was like, yeah, now that you know Sonia will be on holiday in three weeks from now, she's putting in three hundred percent to make sure while she's gone for three weeks that nothing is missing. She was like, 300, right? I was like, yeah, because normally she just puts in 200, you know.

Svenja:

Ah yeah, this is true. No, but um, yeah, that made me a bit stressed, you know, just um having them some closing and signing deals coming up, and then I'm also quite anxious to go to Tahiti the first time.

Moeava:

Yeah, I'm I'm excited. I'm not anxious. The anxious scared part is not there anymore.

Svenja:

You know why I'm anxious? I'm actually more anxious that I mean we'll make it there healthy on time with uh you know everything working out well. I don't know why because so far when we traveled everything always went well.

Speaker 4:

Yeah.

Svenja:

But uh yeah, I just it's such a it's just such a long journey. Oh yeah, this morning your mom asking Munanui and I to dance because uh yeah once we arrive uh apparently there will be a welcome committee and we're gonna have to be ready to do Tahitian dance. And I mean for everyone who knows me, I mean I would say I know how to dance, but I mean definitely for German people I think I'm quite okay. But yeah, considering uh Tahitian dance might not be uh my strength. Let's put it this way. I think your mom was shocked when she saw me this morning.

Speaker:

She actually asked you laughed a little bit on the onside.

Svenja:

Oh she's like, uh oh, that's gonna be embarrassing for her.

Moeava:

No, it won't be embarrassing. She knows that you're not a Tahitian.

Svenja:

So yeah, what was your uh father challenges the last weeks? We haven't spoken again for a while. Yeah, we haven't spoken, remember the last podcast you did alone, so now it's us together again. So yeah, it's been I think four weeks since we talked. So what what is it you would like to share from your parent experience?

Moeava:

Um I think the only thing that I want to share about parenting experience was the fact that Munanui doesn't take a bottle anymore at night for sleeping. Ah and I love the way it happened. We went to the dentist, so me and Munanui is sitting there. The dentist opens his mouth, checks everything, says everything is perfect, no worries whatsoever. I tell her it's thanks to my wife. And then she asked me, does he take uh the nipple?

Svenja:

The pacifier?

Moeava:

The pacifier. And I said, no, but he takes uh the bottle at night with just water. And she goes, Okay, let's stop that. And I said, Okay, fine, just tell him. So she looks at Munanui and she tells him, from now on, no more flesh in the night. And then Munanui looks, and then he goes, and then she repeats one more time, and he goes, Okay. We went home, I told you, and then we told him again, right? Yeah. And then right before bed, he wanted his bottle. And what did we say?

Svenja:

No more bottle.

Moeava:

Because the dentist said no more bottle. Exactly. And what happened? No more bottle. Second night through the row, no more bottle.

Speaker 3:

Yeah.

Moeava:

I think the parenting part is uh that I want to share is it's not as fucking complicated as you think it is.

Svenja:

Yeah, exactly.

Moeava:

And it's the same, I now thinking about it, the ass wiping. The school tells us they want us to bring this uh wet paper that they can flush down the toilet so that they can learn how to wipe their ass.

Svenja:

They're poople.

Moeava:

They're poople. Oh yeah, because now we're um so we bring it, and the school just tells them how to do it. Perfect. There's no there's no like class. You know, you don't have to read a book on how to do things. You understand what I mean?

Svenja:

Yeah, yeah, I know what you mean. And you know what? I think like let's say for the bottle, for instance. I mean, we could have done that a long long time ago, probably, right? I mean it was no issue. But I think a lot of time it also comforts us as parents, you know, and we don't want to stop certain habits because we we believe it might be difficult to change them, but actually it's probably more difficult for us to change than for the kids.

Moeava:

But this is always what we tell people when we tell them that we travel so much with Munanui. I mean, again, another big step in uh Munanui's life. He has now taken over 20 flights and he is not even four yet. And when I tell parents that they're like, oh, we haven't even done a flight yet with our three-year-old child because we're so scared. And I'm like, well, don't. Because the worst that can happen is that actually everything goes fine. You're worried, it doesn't mean it's gonna be a reality. You know?

Svenja:

Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. I think we are just more afraid of stuff, actually. Yeah. Where are we going?

Moeava:

Doing a long walk.

Svenja:

Okay, yeah, but which way? Because the thing is here is gonna be the cars, and there might be loud for the podcast when we go this way. Mm-hmm. Sounds good. Yeah, exactly. I think a lot of times we portray our fears to the kids, or we don't change certain things, or don't try out certain things because we're scared. Um, but it's not the kid that's scared or that you know cannot change, it's more us.

Moeava:

Yeah, but I always say it's the parent is more of the problem than the child itself.

Svenja:

Yeah, yeah, a hundred percent. So yeah, let's see. So now I remember also when I mentioned to someone that we're going to Tahiti, and then uh I received the question on whether we take Mulanui, and I was like, huh, of course. Like I mean that's the whole point to go, right? To show him his roots, to uh so he can meet finally his grandmother, and um yeah, all I mean that was a reason why we're going, but yeah, it's a lot of we then realize a lot of people don't travel with their kids because they fear it might be difficult. But actually, I mean with Munanue it's been so easy, right? Every time, even now for the last trip. I mean, is actually it's fun. No, I would even call it it's not not that it's not a problem, it's actually fun.

Moeava:

I mean the last life we had, we had to wake him up at like 4 35, get him dressed while he's still sleeping, right? Get us ready, head to the airport, and there was no crying, there was no and the cute part is it was almost like he's used to it. Yeah, because when I changed him in the dark, like super early, I just told him, Yeah, we're gonna go to the airport, go to sleep, no worries, and he just uh you know, okay, these guys again. Exactly. He's like, Oh, I'm gonna wake up in a new country again. Which is pretty funny, but yeah.

Svenja:

And for you, any new Yeah, I think um oh you're making me walk through the grass which is wet and it's making my shoes dirty. Um sorry, just a side note. Yeah, I I don't know, last week I was pretty itch. Um, I did have this balance topic in my mind again, you know, this feeling everything is unfair. Um when I'm stressed, I think my my thought pattern always go in goes into this direction, you know. Um I feel I'm not enough for any side, you know. I know I would want to work, I don't know, 14-15 hours, yeah, to finish everything that's on my mind that I want to do, and that I want to do perfect, yeah, want to do my way. So, but then of course I also want to do with you and Mura Nui, and then there comes this, oh but I cannot, and you know, then I start feeling bad, yeah, unbalanced, yeah. Imbalanced, yeah. I can really feel, and then I see, oh look, he's doing so much less, you know, which is you, yeah. So then you know, I have to do all of this, and then I have to do all of that, and then I also need to do this, and I need to think about everything, which is true, yeah. So a lot of things is on me, yeah. Like the uh yeah, it's I mean, like giving you the I mean it's things, and I know what you say, you know, more of it says okay, but would have been it would have been also okay without doing it that way, yes. But on my mind it needs to be this way, you know, like going to the going to the dentist. I want you to take this little dentist booklet so they can put in their findings, yeah. I mean, of course, if you don't bring it, I mean you don't bring it and it's not in there. It's not that this is a disaster, yeah.

Moeava:

Well, that probably would be.

Svenja:

Yeah, because I bri I gave it to you. You would have never thought about that.

Moeava:

You didn't even know there was a booklet.

Svenja:

Yeah, last time, yeah, exactly, because last time also I brought it. So, and that's my point, you know. This is where then I go into, I mean, you don't even see the problem. You know, which is a blessing to be fair, you know.

unknown:

Ignorance.

Svenja:

Um, but for me it's on my mind, and I'm like, okay, now I need to think about the booklet, he doesn't even need to think about it, and you know, so that's what's going on then in my mind, and then I feel stressed and balanced and get a bit pissy.

Moeava:

A bit.

Svenja:

Well, that's everyone.

Moeava:

No, I I understand. I know you have a lot on running. But the thing is, yeah, I mean it's true. Yeah, you just it's a funny thing, right? Because at work you're not a micromanager, but sometimes in the family you like to micromanage.

Svenja:

Yeah, especially when I feel and this is very funny, you know. That now is also psychologically quite interesting looking at this. I like to have things under control. And if I have a feeling they are not, it makes me very anxious.

Moeava:

And then the worst is if you if you at least have control at work, you're fine.

Svenja:

Yeah.

Moeava:

But the problem is when you don't have control at work, or I have the feeling, or have the feeling, shit, then you shift your eyes on the house, and then it's all hell breaks loose. It's real.

Svenja:

Not all hell breaks loose.

Moeava:

I mean, I think that's now a little bit not yeah. You understand what I mean?

Speaker 3:

Yeah.

Moeava:

You know, because then it's uh yeah, then it's really a pain in the poople.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, yeah.

Svenja:

So yeah, and then also, and then just very little comments.

Moeava:

Look at look at the look at the beautiful trees.

Svenja:

Yeah, it's really nice. People walking their dogs, the trees, changing colors, changing colours, yellow, yeah. Then it's little comments from you know, whoever that that um also really make me think, yeah, and that really touched me, even though it shouldn't. So remember um here in in the city where we live there was a little festival, can you call it? How do you say it in English? Yeah, like a little. Uh yeah, it's called Kerva, but not that anyone knows what that is, right?

Speaker:

It's a church festival actually.

Svenja:

Kirchweih.

Speaker:

Yeah, Kirchweih, it's a church festival.

Svenja:

So in my area where I'm from, we call it Kirmes. Kirmus. Kirmes, yeah. I don't know actually what it stands for to be honest. So Kerva is a dialect of the region here where we live. Uh-huh.

Moeava:

And yeah, anyways, it's a little festival, you know, where there's auto scooters and little carousels and stuff for the kids, popcorn, popcorn and five euro balloons for small ones and 15 euros for the big ones when I can buy a pack of six for eight euros on Amazon.

Svenja:

Yeah, yeah, which is ridiculous.

Moeava:

Sorry, that was just a little side note.

Svenja:

Um, yeah, so anyways, this festival uh went on, and there, you know, are also certain special foods that you can buy there, which I don't know. Which, yeah, it's always the same, but I I don't know all of them, okay? So, like the the friends that we were out with, they're like, hey, um, we're buying this and this. Yeah, I don't even remember the name from this food, but I didn't know the food, yeah. And then uh my friend said, Oh, you know, if you wouldn't work that much, you would actually know. And I know she didn't mean anything bad by it, yeah. It was not uh, but it really touched me, yeah, because I'm like, oh, oh no, now because I'm working, I don't know these things. I cannot show that to my son. Oh my god, you know, and then you go into all this crazy thinking, and yeah, it's obviously I know it's not, you know, um it's not that important, also. No, it's not important, yeah. But yeah, of course, I mean in in this moment, then anyway when you feel it's um all super stressful.

Moeava:

See, and that's a weird thing, right? For me, I have that one is with the comments from the moms when I'm not doing a good parenting job.

Svenja:

But no one ever said that. You interpret certain things like that, right? Same thing.

Moeava:

You mean like when the moms tell me oh he misses his mom? Yeah, okay, but that's very long time ago.

Svenja:

Yeah, no, but or did anything happen recently to you?

Moeava:

I think the No not really, but it's just more looks. It's that's but uh the thing is what I mean to say is it doesn't matter when it was done. What I mean is that I understand where it's coming from.

Svenja:

Yeah, I mean we all have a chip on our shoulder, right? We have things that make us um touchy.

Speaker 3:

Exactly.

Svenja:

And you know, to be to be very honest, I think the whole home office concept really plays into the hands of working parents because you know we don't waste time somewhere in traffic and we do have the chance to, you know, for example, pick them up or take a 20-minute break and um bring them, or you know, if you are lucky like we are and our kindergarten is very close to our home. Yeah, so this gives so I don't have the feeling, even though I'm working a lot, that I'm not there or that I don't see my son grow up. I actually really don't have that. I I feel I spent a lot of time with him, um, but still, you know, of course, not as much time as I when I wouldn't work.

Moeava:

Yeah, but I think the thing the difference is, you know, I think what's important is first of all, you know, it's something I always say, you can't have it all. This 1990s thinking where you can have a career, be a super great husband or wife, also be the super parent, be at the super at the games, you know, it's not gonna happen, right? And it's about more, it's about the quality of time, not the quantity of time. Yeah, because I also see a lot of parents that were with their kids all the time, but then they're not there.

Speaker 3:

Yeah.

Moeava:

So that also doesn't that's also kind of useless. Yeah.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, that's true.

Moeava:

So and then the time you are with Moonani, you really put in the time.

Svenja:

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Like this morning I brought him to the kindergarten and I played with him on the way, you know, we played a game. So um, and it's nice. Like I'm not just walking him there and you know being annoyed that I have to bring him. No, on the contrary, I was happy I can bring him and I can play with him. And I that is also then really important um to to for me to really use the time to play with him and do stuff with him. Yeah, that's true. But yeah, still also having really the the home office. I remember I went to work right when he was only four months old. But I was in home office, so I knew I could be there to, I don't know, change a diaper if needed. Yeah, not that I did that. But changing changing diapers was really never my thing.

Moeava:

I use night diaper, which is less peepy inside now because he doesn't have the flush. There was still some this morning I checked. Uh-huh. I was like, ooh, can we take this off soon enough? I was like, nope, not yet.

Svenja:

Ah, okay, but good point. Now, as he had doesn't have his water bottle in the night anymore, soon we can take up the night diaper. In case he's thirsty.

Moeava:

Because he gets he was thirsty before bed, but then he put it back.

Svenja:

Uh-huh.

Moeava:

I just don't want him to see the flusher anymore.

Svenja:

Uh yeah, same. Flusher is a flusher is a German word for bottle.

Moeava:

For the bottle. So alcoholics are just flusher anonymous?

Svenja:

Oh yeah, on the road today, huh? Oh my god. Not very funny, honey.

Moeava:

Oh, it's a pretty good one. I enjoyed that joke.

Svenja:

Yeah, so yeah, that was um, but like I said, you know, I also believe this this I mean this fact is always there. Yeah, because then I'm also thinking, I also wanted to share this with you because I'm not sure you're aware, but then I also have the thinking now, you know, the kindergarten, it's till 4 p.m. and you are not working, and then actually you pick him up only at four, and I work maybe let's say till around six, so then you only have like two hours of work, and I have so many hours I need to put in, and you know, I I know you do a lot of stuff at home, and it's not just the two hours when you pick him up, yeah. Um, but yeah, this is what's going on sometimes in this little brain of mine.

Moeava:

My jealousy is uh you actually get to speak to a lot of adults.

Speaker 3:

Ah, okay.

Moeava:

You never see that, right? The thing is, no one ever sees the other side. Yeah, yeah, of course. Yeah? People see you as actually contributing to society and people see me. This is a look I get a lot during the day. This look at the foreign man with the kid not working during the day.

Svenja:

But is that the look you get or your interpretation of the look?

Moeava:

Yeah, the thing is a look can be interpreted. Yeah, and it's just a dirty look.

Svenja:

Uh huh.

Moeava:

It's really it's just this weird look.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I understand. I mean, we lived in Japan.

Moeava:

It's a little cringy, and especially now you look at the AFD, which is at what, 26%?

Speaker 3:

Yeah.

Moeava:

The more and more you just see this look another Auslander taking government geld.

Svenja:

Maybe you don't use German words because I don't think our listeners understand Ausländer or Geld.

Moeava:

Auslander means foreigner and geld is money. You know? And you just kind of see it. You feel it. Um yes, maybe I'm interpreting it wrong, but to be fair, not really. I think the thing is I grew up with these kinds of dirty looks that eventually it's like a woman knows when a man is looking at her when he's thinking about sex. You understand what I mean?

Svenja:

Yeah, yeah, I know what you mean. I mean in Japan also people didn't need to say anything, you just felt it. Exactly. I I I I know what you mean, yeah. Maybe of course the way it touches you depends on yourself. Yeah. I think there this is the same for me, yeah. Like depending on my situation, on how stressed I am, how balanced I am, I will, you know, it will touch me more or less. Um, and that I always feel, yeah, with my cycle, that this really changes. But um yeah, it's it's uh and I think that's the same with you, yeah. Um on days where you are more skeptical with yourself, you might.

Moeava:

That that no. I I don't feel that. The you know the only time where I feel a little bit worried right now is when Munanui is running after pigeons.

Svenja:

Ah, okay. Because of the incident? Because of the incident, yeah. Yeah.

Moeava:

I really saw it yesterday when he was with the bicycle running after the pigeons, and then there was this woman who looked a little bit thingy, who walked by and I was like, oh please, please, no, please don't say anything. In this moment, yes. In this moment, yes, I feel the lack of confidence. Oh, German is not that great yet. Oh shit, I'm gonna have to go through. This moment, yes. Yeah, but the other one, no, I don't feel that at all.

Speaker 3:

Okay.

Moeava:

It's just uh it's just this feeling I get, this dirty feeling, you know, like they look at me like, oh you understand?

Svenja:

Mm-hmm. I know what you mean. It's this, like you say, I mean, um, feeding into the narrative of oh my god, the foreigners, they are all so lazy, and uh what's that guy not working and so on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, I I can see that, yeah. And I mean talking about this whole AFD topic, AFD is the right-wing party here in Germany that is uh yeah, now actually almost the strongest party in the country. Yeah, this is really really scary. And um you can yeah, if you can feel it, this is really bad. I mean for me obviously I don't feel that as I'm German and I look also very German. Um but yeah, I recently had some conversations also with uh foreigners that live here in Germany that I'm working with, and you know, within the first three or six months of them living here, um, they received three letters from neighbors about one was um when they enter the elevator with their dog, the elevator smells, so they should um uh they should take some uh spray like deal with them to spray it into the elevator after they leave. I mean what the F? Like who first of I like who does that? And they even put you know, I don't know, like I was like, hmm, at least they give you a solution also in the letter, you know. But no, I mean seriously. But seriously, I mean this is um this is really not okay. And then the second letter was that uh when they take the stairs with their dog um that they should clean up after themselves because he's losing hair. And uh the third one was that they are not putting the milk carton properly in the trash.

Moeava:

So to be fair, you have also told me that.

Svenja:

Yes, but it's a difference of me telling you as me being your wife, and you you know that's a thing. I mean I understand where they're coming from with this milk carton, okay? So here in Germany we grow up separating the trash, and there's really put importance there. Yeah, so when I grew up, that was one of the first things I learned from my parents. Have to separate plastic, la la la. Yeah, and it's great, yeah, because I mean that was 40 years ago and already a thing here. So, but yeah, you don't write a letter to your neighbor telling them how to do things. I mean, you knock on the door, you introduce yourself, and then you can, you know, at some point when you know each other a bit better, you can drop the stuff in a side sentence. Like you can do this a human way, yeah. Not, you know, I mean, how do you feel? You arrive in a country that you don't know, yeah, and these people, I mean, they're contributing to the society. They're paying taxes, they are high earnest, super smart. We need them, yeah? And we need a lot of them because we only all we only have old people here, yeah. So, and then you do that. I mean, this is I I really um Yeah, but this is also very German.

Moeava:

Germans don't like to don't get me wrong. They will not do things directly. They don't do things directly. Even though direct, exactly. So stupid, but they don't have but I I was it was an example we I gave the other day, remember? Where Germans trust on small things.

Svenja:

So we're at the Kava at this uh festival, and uh I'm showing my husband to to increase the step speed a bit. No, because I'm cold and I need to warm this body a bit up.

Moeava:

Please I don't have any more room in the city. Oh, okay.

Svenja:

Alright, sorry. Go ahead, sorry.

Moeava:

So I was telling her, uh, we're um we're at the festival. One of the parents there shows me this bathroom card. You make 10 bathroom stops and you get two for free. And then I was like, Hey, you pay for the bathroom. He's like, Yeah, of course. I said, I don't pay for the bathroom. I take Munanui with me, he's for free, and at the same time I go peep. And the look on their face was like, You can do that? You know, it was this complete. How did I not think of that? And it's the same for movie theaters or buses or trains. No one checks your ticket until you get on the train or on the bus. And then only maybe. And then only maybe. Yeah right? So Germans trust on a such on this lower level, right? Yeah, yeah. But then Germans don't trust their partners because they have separate banks accounts. Because they don't know if they will be together forever.

Speaker 3:

Yeah.

Moeava:

Which is the weirdest thing ever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the directness, yes, you guys are direct, but only when it comes to like work and stuff. But then in social life, yeah, no direct whatsoever.

Svenja:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. So and that's the interesting part, right? Because we are compared a lot with the Japanese, but we are so much louder, more direct, less friendly. But then still a lot of things are done indirect, you know. Like you just get the feeling of okay, now I did something wrong. I have no idea what it was, but oopsie, you know. But no one exactly, but no one would tell you. And uh yeah, this is no, and honestly, I mean when I heard those examples, I mean you don't feel that as a German, because by the way, they would not have write oh although would they have written the letter also to a German? I don't know. This is what I wanted to get to, but I because they did write us a letter too the first time we lived in Germany. Was it because you were there? I don't know.

Moeava:

I don't know, exactly. I don't know. Because I wanted to get around to that. I wanted to say the thing is a lot of listeners maybe they don't understand that, right? They're like, well, you know, and but for the for the Maybe they are well, what was your point?

Svenja:

No, I didn't get that.

Moeava:

Maybe they're the locals, the white locals, they're like, oh, that's totally fine. I don't understand. What is the problem?

Speaker 3:

Oh, so okay.

Moeava:

But when you're the colored foreigner, yeah, those listeners, they're gonna understand.

Speaker 3:

Yeah.

Moeava:

Because it's happened.

unknown:

Yeah.

Moeava:

And the thing is you ask yourself the question, and this is the problem.

Speaker 3:

Yeah.

Moeava:

Is it because I'm a foreigner?

Svenja:

Yeah.

Moeava:

Or do they do it to everyone else?

Svenja:

And I tell you, it's because you're a foreigner. Because I have not received three letters in the first six months we lived here. We did receive a letter, which is true, but maybe that was also because of you. I'm not sure. But these experiences also, I mean, we have a lot of working students in our company that I'm talking to, all of them had stuff happening to them.

Speaker:

And all of our foreign friends that live here also have stuff.

Svenja:

Oh, exactly. And and that's just really sad because you know, the time I lived abroad, no, it did not happen.

Moeava:

Uh it happened to me in China and Japan though.

Svenja:

Yeah, okay.

Moeava:

Because you remember you're always the white foreign. Yeah, I'm the white former.

Svenja:

Which is also bad, right?

Speaker:

Yeah, so yeah.

Svenja:

But um, yeah, I don't know. Um that's definitely that's definitely something that's on our mind too and now I think the interesting part will be how do you explain those things to a kid do you explain those things to a kid um have to explain the thing to the kid and like I just to give you an example uh we recently read a book you know we have this picture pedia where there's little literally pictures of everything there's um that exists animals dinosaurs I don't know just everything and there was a picture of weapons and tanks you know and then oh explaining war to a kid that's three uh I don't know it's uh yeah I mean I think that will be an interesting topic now as he grows older and he is very interested in a lot of stuff and he asks a lot of questions so um to explain this yeah and to not I think the also the balance you know I mean you don't want him to be to know everything yeah but you also ah yeah that is what happened uh you know I just recently subscribed to a new newspaper and on the front page um he was I was reading it so he also wanted to read it so I gave him one and I I didn't check the picture on it yeah but on the front page was um hungry people from Gaza yeah and then like also a kid you know and crying and screaming and he looked he pointed at it he's like Mama what is that oh you know and then this is really yeah that is uh yeah explain to him that they're hungry yeah they don't have enough food and not everyone in this world has enough food yeah and that's how you look when you're hungry and scared and starving but yeah not uh and war torn and war torn yeah I didn't use the word war because I don't think he knows what to do with that.

Moeava:

I think the thing is we have to be kind of open and honest with him but it's also he doesn't need to see all the gore and horribly mess around. Yeah but I don't think that we should hide it. Yeah it's it's uh not so easy. But the thing is we think it's not so easy or it's different in today's generation but it was the same because wars always happen.

Svenja:

Yeah yeah yeah it was and I remember I was always allowed to watch the news when I was a kid. You know they had the evening news from 8 to 815 p.m like 15 minutes and that's when I had to go to bed. So I mean at some point we can also start this tradition I don't know uh whether there is the news back in the day was from 8 to 8.

Moeava:

Now it's from 8 a.m to 8 a.m the next day you know you can get news 24 hours a day seven days a week yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah this is also kind of the problem and from different points of view and whether true or not I mean you know it's kind of the podcast we had with mom and nobi where they were actually really good and not having so much information.

Svenja:

Yeah yeah true that nowadays it's getting more and more difficult also to digest because um we have so much information it's not only the digesting part it's also knowing what the hell is true and what's not yeah that's what I mean with digest yeah I mean that's part of it like how do I know what is true what to believe also what is what news do I want to read so now I have this thing right I love to read the newspaper like the the real paper uh old fashioned style and um you always love to read the newspaper yeah yeah exactly since I'm a teenager actually I subscribed I did like this trial subscription I think the first time I did this internship I was 17 or so and then since then I just have it and uh except for once we moved abroad or once I moved abroad because in China you cannot get a proper newspaper China Morning Post no that was even a good one in Hong Kong the remember in China it's the China Daily the China Daily and the Beijing Times yeah yeah exactly so not really useful newspapers so yeah so I stopped and I did everything online um what I could read etc but now being back in Germany this is really one thing that I enjoy uh but I was reading a very business oriented newspaper the first year now we are here or one and a half years but I just changed now yeah so I like ah no it's too busy too businessy and you know I mean I'm working in this uh with this stuff so let's just change and um and now it's too worry and yeah now it's no actually I I really enjoy it I have to say the I can really feel but maybe this I was also thinking that maybe I was reading too much news. Yeah because you remember at one time I got super angry at the world yeah and you told me you need to put the news down yeah yeah yeah I remember and this is really kind of I know it and I see it I see it when I'm reading the news or watching Instagram reels of people that I follow and you just is very everyone is so everyone is so angry you know they're just so angry okay now let's take what's happening right now in Gaza super touchy for the subject Donald Trump I am not a fan at all brokers this peace deal for those who can't see me I'm putting it in air quotes everyone For those who can't see me no one can see you log in that was funny for those who can't see me everybody should be able to see me I'm big enough that was funny um okay so before this peace deal America's the bad guy the West is the bad guy you know horrible what's going on over there and now the peace again air quotes peace deal brokerage and everybody is like instead of saying okay maybe something's gonna happen maybe there'll be a little bit of light everyone goes it's not real it's fake it's I mean I even made air quotes you know and it's this whatever happens people are always gonna be angry and this is the problem today in the news today but then the issue is are they that angry? Are they really that angry? Because this is another point yeah they're doing it for the likes and the clicks exactly so the I mean what these masks trumps and whatever they're called what they want they want to destabilize and they want to yeah exactly the Dark Lord exactly that no one knows about what a great name the Dark Lord and again German I cannot believe this okay anyways um so the the the point is is the atmosphere really that bad or is it made bad no it's made bad or it's made bad by people who only see the bad and that's where the Zuversicht comes back right yes you need to explain Zuversicht for those non-German people because they don't understand Auslander and Geld yeah zuversicht that word does not exist in English it's uh something between confidence and hope and more like a positive outlook not really positive but yeah you hope you're confident that things will turn to the better. You're confident in the hope that things will turn to the better exact exactly exactly that's a great way to yeah yeah and uh I think and I think we can all do a little part to get there we can all smile at each other in the morning say good morning we can all you know very simple things and starting in the community ah yeah and this is something I've recently listened to a podcast that's something that um uh they are now they are uh having a news podcast and they are now including statements from people on what they do to kind of get out of this bad news cycle and how do they pick each other up and it was super nice to hear you know oh wow this tree looks amazing beautiful tree sorry um and this was super interesting because you know a lot of people start to be active in their community they become part of associations they help elderly in the um elderly homes to bring elderlies from A to B. There was uh someone who just started to have chickens and I don't know do their own eggs and be within more in nature. So there is ways and I think people chickens are the best taste the best because I think this is also remember when I went to this political assembly here in the city and the problems that were discussed were completely exactly completely different from the news I mean here people think about completely in the in your daily life yeah it's it's hey now the balloon on the festival is five europhone Christopher and and I think this is this is the um the topic right like it's the disconnection of reality for a lot of people and what is it just the the color the trees the the zoof hey you are this morning a bit agrono are you okay like what is it agruno I'm just saying yeah you're a little bit I can see you're flinchy yeah what you're Svenia now or what yeah you're a bit flinchy flinchy yeah and we need to pick up the pace because my next meeting is coming up so um yeah so anyways now we drifted off a little bit uh going into the political topic but I guess it's on everyone's mind and I don't think it's a drift because we talked about the fact that we would like to integrate more politics into our program. Yeah that's right yeah so that's right and I believe there is ways um to work against this demonization. Yeah it's not all as bad as it sounds yes for some it is definitely and it's probably worse than it sounds but uh I think what we can try to do is lie into our communities you know and start with very simple stuff help our neighbors talk to them don't write letters be nice no matter where they come from try to build connections right I think social connections this is something so I read a great article about actually the amount of young people on social media has rapidly fallen.

Moeava:

Oh wow because a lot of them are sick and tired of it. Interesting influencers the whole these uh Charlie Kirks and all these other whether left or right I mean they're all the same bullshit yet it's people are getting fed up with it which is kind of weird because it's also the reason why I believe one of the biggest reasons why where we are today is because of all of that. Social media is one of the biggest problems for our generation and for Munanui's generation. Yeah and for the old people also and the word the I think the reason why we have aging population these old people they don't know the difference between what's real or what's fake. They also don't take the time to properly digest it they just take everything for word.

Svenja:

Yeah then you have the other people that are just I mean it's hard to say just really fucking uneducated yeah in life in general and yeah but I mean there is also societies where people are taught to be like that yeah remember the article that I was reading so this now comes from a new newspaper that's very international that talked about the Thailand and uh boys and girls have to comply with certain haircut standards or whatever rules and um now there's a big discussion actually because young people say hey you just want us to be the compliant society that's not speaking out you know and that starts with humiliating us and actually not letting us be who we want to be. So that was super interesting you know it's like and remember we talked about this with uh our nanane from the Philippines um where similar things are happening yeah so governments or whatever it is yeah also wants to Japan is the same yeah it's the the nail that sticks out that gets handled the most exactly so shall we leave it at that no no I think it's such a complex yeah it is it's we probably would have to take uh to talk days and days about this so many days but it's important because this is something that will affect Moonano exactly and I think this is the problem with a lot of the voters today they don't see they don't want to see further than their nose my father always said people only realize they're in the ship when they can taste the shit if it's up to your waist or in your chest and they can smell it they still don't believe they're in the ship the moment where that tongue can taste the shit then they're like oh I'm really in shit. Yeah but I think we're already at another step I think a lot of people uh taste the shit already they don't have you know inflation is hitting you you said it yourself a balloon at the festival is five euros like who can pay for that like no one so the the people can be yeah the thing is what are they doing with this?

Moeava:

Now they taste that they end the shit it's green over there honey what they're doing with it is they're blaming other people exactly exactly they think that the shit they're in is because of other people exactly they don't realize it's their own shit and also because of the government and because of the people I mean it's not only their own you understand what I mean it's a mix of everything.

Svenja:

Yeah exactly and not necessarily always their own yeah I mean some people also really are in bad situations because of others. Yes that's also truth yeah yes that is true and I think that's also human nature we always try to blame someone right that's where I'm going to that's where I'm going to exactly and I think this is what all those people understanding the situation take advantage of right because they channel this feeling in a certain way. Exactly and the question is how do we get out of it? Because as you're saying if we continue like that I mean this planet really is not on a good path.

Moeava:

I mean people talk about World War III as if it was you know having breakfast in the morning tomorrow. Yeah they don't realize the gravity of what could happen.

Svenja:

Yeah I mean also look at now I mean now okay we're going to the US right I just booked a hotel and the first thing that comes up is weapons are not permitted on the thing whether concealed or not I'm like what other country have we been to where we can see something like that when we book a hotel nowhere to be fair we haven't traveled in South America I think there is the same I think I saw the sign once South America we're talking about America right now. Yeah I know I know it's crazy it's really crazy where parking is forty you $40 a day yeah here's the same you go to a big city or Paris or whatever yeah Europe's the same yeah but it's there's not no guns permitted on but you know it's as bad I remember because you know we will fly carefully on the floor um we will fly through LA and a friend of ours that will join us um she has never been there she's like hey can we go to the city and I'm like yeah you know but don't expect anything there's it's just like it's super dangerous and there's a lot of poor people or homeless people and for me I'm just thinking oh I want to get out of there as fast as we you know as fast as possible.

Moeava:

Okay but LA is not just dirty and full of homeless people. This is also not true. This is like a misconception of people in Dubai saying that Europe is full of I mean we were the last time in San Francisco 10 years ago San Francisco is like that most of it yeah okay the gated communities where no one can read it from the other perspective also this is like people in Dubai when we told them we're moving to the back to Europe and they're like why it's so dirty it's so dangerous it's full of homeless people that's exactly the same thing.

Svenja:

Okay I disagree here but we will see for ourselves I think for the US is the opposite the US are selling themselves as this amazing country where everyone wants to go but actually it's the complete opposite it's dirty it's dangerous it's uh yeah I don't fully agree with you I agree with you that there are areas that are dirty and thin the same like you have areas here that are like that. But they are a lot more severe and a lot bigger yeah because it's a bigger place with more people you know no but in general it's less populated than Europe because there's not that many people for this big amount of country.

Moeava:

Actually there's a lot of very but they're they're more centralized. Yeah exactly whereas Europe it's more open but the thing is it's not well I mean for this let's look at the numbers I I yeah what I mean is is that it's not everywhere just dirty and homeless people. That's what I meant.

Svenja:

Yeah yeah but it's also a fact that in California a teacher that earns a hundred K, which is already very good salary, is not able to buy uh to pay for rent because rents are too expensive and they live in tents or cars or whatever. Those stories are true.

Moeava:

But it's not all of California it's certain cities of California and that's what I mean you're grouping everything. Yeah.

Svenja:

Okay anyways I think uh we'll have another podcast to discuss about that or maybe after our trip and we see for ourselves that's always uh very good to form your opinion get get out there and look at it anxious this is the only part I'm anxious about is the trip to California. Yeah see I'm not anxious because of dirty and homeless people because of Trump Trump's eyes exactly you don't have to be anxious because no one is gonna come to you and say where's your papers but luckily you have a passport so you will just have to keep it with you all the time that makes me very anxious.

Speaker:

Yeah which is crazy right you're scared to go to a country because uh we're we're I'm a national where you're from this is really crazy yeah that's true but even with that fright in my mind I still don't think it's the whole place that is dirty and whole homes because I have the Zhorum words are just beautiful such an easy language so sexy right for dogs all right we have reached back home looking at our church and the beautiful yellow leaf tree in front of it falling this is the love fall because of this yeah it is beautiful I just love all the the carpet of leaves on the floor yeah all right well that was a very diverse podcast today yeah but I think maybe because of taking this walk and then our mind goes goes out there a bit more no yeah for sure but uh it's also interesting to hear what our fears are what our fears are not you know what we think um but yeah as always I love you I love you too I love you guys