41. Summer Johansen-Graham - Nursing Student

Originally from Fountain Valley, CA, Summer Johansen-Graham is a former store manager (mate) at Trader Joe's. Present day, she residing in the Pacific North West, where she is pursuing her dreams of becoming a nurse.

In today's episode, we dive into Summer's time growing up in Southern California, how her dreams of becoming a psychologist transitioned into one of becoming a nurse, facing addiction and its consequences head on with the loss of her father, fighting through grief, stepping away from Trader Joe's to purse her dreams of becoming a nurse, using dark humor to maneuver through challenging times, mental health, and so much more. 

This maybe the most emotional episode to date. Tears were shed, laughs were had, and much insight was shared about death, grief, and love. Much love to Summer for coming on to share her story and being so transparent and genuine. I hope all enjoy and are able to take something away from such a kind and wonderful human. 

Follow Summer Graham on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/summerrgraham 

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Support the the Failed Experiment: https://account.venmo.com/u/kylecowling

Follow The Failed Experiment on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_TFE

Follow Kyle Cowling on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kylecowling/

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

We are back. We are so, so back. After seven months of zero, we have returned with a whole lot of brand new episodes, finally. And in true DIY form, which is this podcast. Uh we are, we, I, am currently recording this intro in my car on my lunch break. Uh at work. Because it's the only time I've had to uh sit down and record this. So here we are, in my car. At uh Trader Joe's on my lunch break. Recording the intro for episode 41 after a seven-month hiatus. Holy cow. We are back. Can't say it enough. Episode 41 with my very dear friend and former Trader Joe's colleague, Summer Johansson Graham. We recorded this episode, um, let's see. This episode is coming out June 1st. And I'm recording this intro in May. And we recorded this episode last year, in November. So I've been sitting on this episode for seven months. Uh full transparency, I really didn't know if and or when it was going to release. Um. Yeah. We recorded in November and just kind of sat on it. Didn't really know what I was gonna do. Was pretty not sure how or if I was gonna continue to carve out time for the podcast. Just between working full-time, my wife works full-time. We have a uh when this releases, a now three-year-old little girl. Um yeah. Life's been a lot. These last few years. It's been pretty tough, quite frankly. Um and I just didn't know when I was gonna have time to continue to do this or what. And then in February of this year, 2026, uh my really good friend and also past guest of the podcast, Nick Avenue, uh, was in town. And we went to dinner in February. And the day after the San Diego Supercross. And we went to dinner, met up, and he told me that people were asking about me at the races at the San Diego Supercross, were asking about me in the podcast and if I was still gonna be doing it, because people, I guess, have really enjoyed the previous 40 episodes and were kind of curious if I was gonna do any more. And Nick and I were talking about it, and I was kind of telling him where I was at. And shout out to Nick. He gave me the motivation and the inspiration to wanna record even more episodes and give this thing another go-around. So it was cool to hear that people have liked the last 40 episodes and enjoyed what the kind of vibe and overall feel is with the podcast. So, thanks to Nick, it really kinda gave me the motivation and inspiration to want to record more episodes. So I decided I was gonna make time and figure out how to carve time into my day to record episodes. So here we are. That fired me up and picked it back up and got at least by the time this episode drops, June 1st, there's at least three months straight of consistent new episodes that I have banged and ready to go. Release once a week, every Monday, so we got at least three months consistent of brand new episodes. And I release all of these episodes in order in which they were recorded. I don't do anything like preferential treatment or anything like that. It does not matter about who the guest is or their status or anything like that. I release everything in the actual order that they're recorded. So episode 41 is the 41st episode I've recorded with Summer, and that was in November. Um and as I always have said, I like and love doing the podcast because I will sit down with anyone I think has a cool story. You don't have to be somebody that comes from my filmmaking world or is an athlete or anything. If I think there's a cool story there, I don't really care who you are. Down to sit down and have a conversation. And Summer is one of those people that outside of kind of the Trader Joe's ethos in our little area, um, you probably don't know who she is. And you're gonna learn today who she is. She uh we met in 2024 at my first store. She was transferred over there as a mate, which is a store manager. So she was my manager, and we got along great right off the bat, and just uh just became friends. She's babysat our daughter. Um well yeah, come over for celebrations, for birthdays, all that stuff. So she's a real one. Um and she's got quite the story. I will say this is probably the most emotional um podcast I have done out of all of them so far. Um so I probably would recommend buckling up uh because we get into some pretty heavy-duty topics in terms of addiction, the loss of a parent and mental health, and grappling with the death of a parent, and again, just addiction, and there's there was we definitely had some tears in this one, and um can't thank Summer enough for honestly sitting down and being so so damn open and transparent about what she has experienced um and sharing her story. It's uh as you'll tell, which is really cool when I listened to this episode Back to Pull Time Codes for social stuff, like it was cool to listen to it back, and I felt I feel like I hope other people feel the feel this way, but I feel like you could hear in this one, it was just two friends sitting down, having a conversation, and there's a lot of dark humor. So if you're getting a little uncomfortable or not crazy about dark humor, um fair warning. We got a lot of that here, because her and I both have uh that kind of sense of humor. So there's a lot of dark humor to cope with, very, very heavy, very serious topics. Um fair warning, it this is probably the heaviest episode I have ever recorded to date. So um, but yeah, we worked together, like I said, at Trader Joe's for quite a while. She has since moved on, and her and her husband have moved up to the Pacific Northwest, where she is pursuing her career uh to become a nurse and is in school going down that route. Um, so we dive into everything from growing growing up in Huntington Beach, her and I went to the same high school, obviously years apart, because she's a bit younger than I am. Um, but growing up in Southern California um battling through mental health and dealing with addiction and again the loss of your parents and where she's at now and her goals now and everything. So there's you know, like I said, you may not know the name, but it doesn't mean the story is not interesting and impactful in that there's not something to take away from it. Cause I think there's a lot to take away from Summer's story and what she shares and how she has handled herself in the face of tragedy. Um very proud to call this girl a friend and to have worked alongside her and um yeah, so I hope everyone enjoys. So stoked to be back after seven months of nothing. Um like I said, we got three months worth episodes lined up, and uh gonna just keep shipping away at this because it is a lot of fun and it's been so cathartic on my end to have these conversations again. Um and the fact that this is just very DIY. No sponsors, no real support. Um just a pure total passion project. So um, yeah, I hope everyone enjoys. Uh if you want to support the podcast, support this little DIY thing. Um, like I said, no sponsors, no nothing. I not that it's a whole lot of money, but I literally lose money every month doing this, but it's cool. Uh but if for some reason you feel like you want to support, um I think there's something in like the show notes you can like donate a couple bucks if you want, but also just Venmo at Kyle Cowling in a couple bucks will uh help support this thing and just helps cover the little overhead that I do have for this and uh maybe one day if this thing actually turned into something for some reason I can hire someone to do all the social stuff because I hate doing it. But yeah. That's how you can support if you want. You can also uh leave uh a review, rate it on Apple, Spotify, wherever you're listening. Five stars if you're feeling so kind, and a nice review would be really sweet, because it does help boost this thing in the uh world of algorithms so that it gets recommended to other people. And it would be cool to see this thing get in front of more people. Um not that it would change anything that I'm doing, because it really wouldn't, but just yeah. If you want to help, that's how you can help. Also on Instagram, uh at underscore the failed experiment for social reels and stories and all that stuff. Um also on YouTube at underscore TFE. And I'm sure other places that I don't even realize, but uh yeah. Like, comment, subscribe, follow, share the love would be much appreciated if you want. And uh yeah. Wish list to guests, uh I don't think too much has changed. Uh Jenny Taft, as usual, uh Adam Censorello, Justin Brayton, Wes Borland, I think would be fascinating. I'm really intrigued by that man. Uh Brandon Blaine, David Kennedy, Katie Maloney. Um Yeah, I'm pretty sure there's others that I'm uh can't remember, but anybody out there got connections? Hook a brother up. That'd be cool. And uh yeah, I think that's everything. Hope everyone enjoys again. Stoked to be back after seven months and nothing. And thank you so much, Summer, for sitting down and having this conversation. As you will find out, we were this kind of started as a joke, and I thought she was serious, but I think she was joking, and then it turned into like it being serious, and it happened. So here we are. We back, episode 41, Summer Johansson, a Graham. Hope everyone enjoys. Thank you so much, Summer. You're a badass. Proud of you. And let's do it. Enjoy.

SPEAKER_08 12:40

Is this like a one-take situation? Yeah. Oh my god. So if I say something bad, it like has to stay.

SPEAKER_02 12:47

I mean, I can always go and take it out.

SPEAKER_01 12:49

It's not that big of a deal, but okay.

SPEAKER_02 12:51

Yeah. Yeah, if there is.

SPEAKER_06 12:52

I have my inhaler on the standby.

SPEAKER_02 12:57

Incredible. You just easy being wheezy. Do you want a glass of wine? You want a beer? No.

unknown 13:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 13:08

It might mix well with your medicine. I'll feel like I'm a Molly. Good times.

SPEAKER_01 13:14

Um, all right. So first thing always start with is uh where you grew up. And I'm assuming you you're Huntington Beach, like from day one, yeah?

SPEAKER_07 13:26

Yeah, Fountain Valley.

SPEAKER_01 13:28

Fountain Valley?

SPEAKER_07 13:29

Yeah, well, I lived downtown Huntington for the first like three years of my life. And then my brother was born and we moved to Fountain Valley. Okay. Where my dad grew up.

SPEAKER_01 13:41

Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:42

How old is your brother? He's just turned 21. How old are you? 24 next week.

SPEAKER_01 13:48

Oh wow. Happy birthday. This is an early birthday presentation.

SPEAKER_02 13:51

Come on the podcast.

SPEAKER_01 13:52

Yeah. Um we're uh being in Fountain Valley, like I know what it was like because that's where I grew up. But for you, what was your experience like?

SPEAKER_07 14:00

It was good. I mean, everybody I had the same, like I've had the same best friend since I was in second grade and we lived across the street from each other. And we had a lot of I just liked being everybody being so close. And we had so much of a like community and a family here that it was always very comfortable and it was good. We had a good time. Did you have a sister too? Yeah, I have an older sister. She's 25. Okay. Yeah. So there's three of you.

SPEAKER_01 14:32

Yes. What's what like I was an only child, so I don't know what it's like to have siblings. And you're a middle child. What's that like?

SPEAKER_07 14:41

I love having siblings.

SPEAKER_01 14:43

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 14:44

My sister and my brother are like my best friends. And it's always been that way. We've always been so close. Um, me and my sister shared a room until we were I was like 13. And like we'd have bunk beds and I'd sleep on the top and she'd sleep on the bottom, and I'd always end up on the bottom with her.

unknown 15:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 15:03

But it was just like we were never bored. We always had a friend at home. And my sister's friends were my friends, my friends were her friends. My brother's friends were like our more of our brothers. Um, it was like our environment at home was super fun. Like we always had stuff to do. We always got along for the most part. And um yeah, it definitely siblings humble you a lot, especially an older sister. Um but it's I think it's so important to have those connections because your siblings are gonna be with you forever. Yeah, like friends come and go, parents come and go, like their siblings are gonna be with you till the end. And I'm very I got very lucky with the two that I have. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:58

Um, what was it like? So it's you and your older sister, and then you have a brother that poor man. You got tortured. I was gonna say I know you, I don't know your sister, but like I've known you for a couple years now. Yeah, even that's been torture.

SPEAKER_07 16:15

Oh my god. No, I think if you know, like I feel like nobody knows me without knowing my sister because we're very similar. Um but yeah, we would dress my brother up like a girl and just fuck with him. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 16:35

Can I cuss? Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 16:40

Um yeah, he had a hard time. But he always had really he had good like friends growing up.

SPEAKER_01 16:45

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 16:46

And he fit in with the girlies. We trained him really well.

SPEAKER_01 16:50

That's good.

SPEAKER_07 16:50

His girlfriend's really lucky.

SPEAKER_01 16:54

What schools did you go to?

SPEAKER_07 16:56

I went to courageous, okay. Fulton middle school, Fountain High School.

SPEAKER_01 17:02

I did Tamura, Fulton, and Fount Milly. You went to Fulton? Yeah. Did you take woodshop? Sure did. Me too. Sure did. What was Mrs. Lee? No, I had a guy. No. I was terrified to do woodshop too. Because I'm I I grew up single parent mom. So man stuff. Yeah. We didn't make stuff visible. Um so weird subject for me. So I remember like seventh grade I had a wood shop and I was fucking scared. And I'm like, I don't think I'm gonna be able to do this. I was I ended up, my teacher was really good and I like really enjoyed it. Yeah. Had a lot of fun. I liked it too.

SPEAKER_07 17:43

I made like pens and the standing blob.

SPEAKER_01 17:46

Yep.

SPEAKER_07 17:46

You make that too.

SPEAKER_01 17:49

Like, this is pretty cool. And then I remember at one point we did something where like we had like a piece of wood and we were gonna drill into the center of it and make the I don't know what we made.

SPEAKER_07 17:58

You have to like shave down the side. That was a pen.

SPEAKER_01 18:00

Okay. It was really cool. Yeah, I still have mine. Do you really? Yeah. Mine's gone.

SPEAKER_07 18:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:06

But I was very impressed with myself. I was like, oh, I guess it's Hindu main shit.

SPEAKER_07 18:09

Yeah, it was cool. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 18:11

And having a good teacher was like, well, actually, it was like safe about it because I was scared about like the safety aspect.

SPEAKER_01 18:17

Yeah. I was like, how is this allowed? Yeah. Yeah. Um God.

SPEAKER_08 18:31

I mean let me count backwards. Um twenty fifteen, twenty fourteen, and twenty thirteen.

SPEAKER_01 18:41

Wow, that makes me feel so old. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 18:48

I wasn't even born yet.

SPEAKER_01 18:50

That's terrible. We probably didn't have any of the same natures.

SPEAKER_07 19:03

I think Miss Frank might be too.

SPEAKER_01 19:05

Mr. Welch?

SPEAKER_07 19:07

No.

SPEAKER_01 19:08

Okay. What about uh I graduated from Count Valley in 05. Trying to think who might still be there. My photo teacher's still there, Mr. Langford. He teaches his sister.

SPEAKER_07 19:20

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:21

Did you have him?

SPEAKER_07 19:22

No, my sister did, I think.

SPEAKER_01 19:24

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_07 19:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:25

He's his history teacher now, but he was my photo teacher. That's the man that literally put me on my career path for what I ended up doing for so long. Yeah. Because he was an incredible teacher.

SPEAKER_07 19:34

Really?

SPEAKER_01 19:35

Yeah. He was I was I wish I had him. I was failing photo. And he pulled me aside one day and he said, Hey, you're actually pretty good at this, but you're an idiot because you won't turn your work in. Oh my god. Just turn your work in and like I can have you back next year for advanced photo because like you have something here.

SPEAKER_07 19:50

Oh, that's cool.

SPEAKER_01 19:51

And I was the only teacher ever that like gave a shit. Right. Was that really?

SPEAKER_07 19:54

Those are really important.

SPEAKER_01 19:56

Yeah. And I was like, okay. So I went from an F to a B, and then he had me back next year for advanced photo and I had an A. Oh my god. Literally, that's why I ended up doing what I did because he was like an advocate for me. So cool. Yeah. He was a rad.

SPEAKER_07 20:10

Did you ever um have Mr. Papendick?

SPEAKER_01 20:14

No, but he was there when I was there. I remember that name.

SPEAKER_07 20:16

Rest in peace.

SPEAKER_01 20:17

Oh. Yes. Mr. Maldonado? No. Okay.

SPEAKER_08 20:24

Mr. Mac.

SPEAKER_01 20:25

No.

SPEAKER_08 20:26

That's my best friend's Donald.

SPEAKER_01 20:30

There is another one. He was a young teacher. He was my life science teacher. I don't remember his name though. But I gave him hell. Like took advantage of his like inexperience. It really exploited it. That's really nice. No, it wasn't. Did you yeah? What do you mean? Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 20:52

We're on our third pouch from Trader Joe's.

SPEAKER_01 20:58

The box comes with four, and we're probably gonna go for the strawberry one too.

SPEAKER_05 21:04

Whatever works.

SPEAKER_02 21:07

Yay. Did you enjoy school at all? No. Okay. No.

SPEAKER_07 21:14

Same. Well, I liked the social aspect of school for the most part.

SPEAKER_08 21:20

Um, but I wasn't a very good student. Okay. That was the undiagnosed ADHD.

SPEAKER_02 21:28

You played sports at all? I was a cheerleader. Of course you were.

SPEAKER_07 21:31

Okay. And I played softball. Really?

SPEAKER_06 21:36

Well I played softball for a few years and then I didn't make all-stars for like four years straight. So I quit and became a cheerleader. Logical.

SPEAKER_07 21:47

But I ended up being good at that. That's good. Yeah. That was more my speed. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 21:52

Did you like flips and stuff? Okay.

SPEAKER_08 22:01

Good for you. Thanks. Good for you. That was a fun time.

SPEAKER_01 22:04

Was it?

SPEAKER_02 22:05

Yeah. Softball, though. That's cool.

SPEAKER_01 22:08

I like that you tried for all-stars four years in a row and didn't get it. What position did you play?

SPEAKER_06 22:20

I wasn't really great at any of them, so I moved around a lot.

SPEAKER_07 22:26

I played it because my sister played it and she was really good at it, and I was like, well, maybe I will be too.

SPEAKER_06 22:31

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 22:31

It just the action stuff wasn't for me.

SPEAKER_06 22:34

I don't like getting things thrown at me.

SPEAKER_02 22:36

But you'll you'll hurl yourself into the air, no problem. That's not.

SPEAKER_06 22:41

Yeah, I can't make sense of it.

SPEAKER_02 22:42

That's fair. Good job. I got to wear a skirt.

unknown 22:47

I just did that.

SPEAKER_01 22:50

Okay. Um what did uh your mom and dad do? Did your mom work at Trader Joe's just the whole time?

SPEAKER_07 22:58

Well, my mom was a stay-at-home mom for the first half of my childhood. And then in 2008, the recession hit. My dad was self-employed, and she went and got a job at Trader Joe's.

SPEAKER_01 23:12

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 23:12

So it's been like 15 years that she's been there.

SPEAKER_01 23:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 23:15

And that's kind of what started it all. What'd your dad do? He was a hairstylist.

SPEAKER_01 23:18

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_07 23:19

Yeah, he had his own salon in Costa Mesa. No way. Yeah. What was what was it called? It was called the Red Shag. Okay. He basically he turned a s a house into a salon. Uh-huh. And it was a three-bedroom house, and he had like the front room as like each bedroom was like a different like you know those salons that are like you rent a like a space in like the Phoenix salons. Yep. So he kind of did his own thing and it was just like him and another girl the whole time. And they just had like there was no walk-ins, no phone number you could call. It was just like his clientele.

SPEAKER_03 23:54

Really?

SPEAKER_07 23:54

Yeah. And he would do like he was really good at blondes. And like that was like his specialty. That's so interesting.

SPEAKER_01 24:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 24:02

How do you how do you have a clientele if it was like kind of well, he worked in salons for a long time.

SPEAKER_01 24:12

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 24:12

And then he built a clientele working at walk-in salons.

SPEAKER_01 24:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 24:17

And then took those clients that were going to him with him.

SPEAKER_01 24:20

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 24:21

To open his own salon. That's so interesting. Yeah. It was super cool.

SPEAKER_01 24:24

Wow. How long did he have that place for? Until the recession?

SPEAKER_07 24:28

Um, no, he had it till he died. Oh, no way. Yeah. It's a sober living house now.

SPEAKER_03 24:37

Ironic.

SPEAKER_01 24:38

I feel like we should preface this with it's probably gonna be a lot of dark humor. Oh, yeah. I mean, I know we've talked about this at work, but like, yeah. That's how it's a great coping mechanism.

SPEAKER_02 24:47

If you don't laugh, you cry.

SPEAKER_07 24:49

And I live by that.

SPEAKER_01 24:50

Correct. It's a sober living house now. Wow.

SPEAKER_07 24:53

Right?

SPEAKER_01 24:54

Wow. Okay. That's wild. That's insane. I had no idea he did that though.

SPEAKER_07 24:58

Yeah. So when he died, he gave my sisters my sister, all of his clients.

SPEAKER_01 25:03

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 25:03

Well, like involuntarily.

SPEAKER_01 25:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 25:05

Because she does hair.

SPEAKER_01 25:07

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 25:07

And so when we were letting all of his clients know what happened, she we were giving hit them her phone number. So she was assisting, and then she ended up getting to get have her own chair in a salon after that. Because she had like a whole ass clientele from him. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 25:26

So that was like the biggest blessing for her career.

SPEAKER_01 25:28

Oh wow. Where's where's she working?

SPEAKER_07 25:31

She works at like a boutique salon in Costa Mesa. Okay. It's called Sweeter Than Honey. It's super cute.

SPEAKER_01 25:36

Does she do men's haircuts?

SPEAKER_07 25:38

No. She does, but she doesn't she's not taking men. God damn it. I need to do Mario.

SPEAKER_01 25:45

I'm just as cool as Mario. Come on.

SPEAKER_07 25:49

Well, my dad did Mario's hair.

SPEAKER_01 25:52

What a weird the Trader Joe's universe. Like how it's all like incestual. Yeah. How damn. I need a new person because mine um mine also died. Shut up. Yeah. Uh a couple days before July, 4th of July 2024. Had a heart attack. What? He was a recovering addict as well.

SPEAKER_07 26:15

Oh, well, something about these hairstylists. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:18

Yeah, he used to race dirt bikes in the 80s, 90s, was like gnarly, like top-tier dude, and lived the life and um ended up getting hooked on to pain pillars that turned into meth, whole deal. Oh. Did time in prison. Oh. But got sober. Was sober for like over 10 years. Came a barber, worked out of his garage in Costa Mesa. Wow. Did my hair. He used to when he quit racing, he was a like a riding coach. So when I was like coming up through the ranks racing, he was my riding coach. Um incredible dude. Just got sent down the wrong path. Sad. But got clean sober and then yeah. Had a heart attack. Had a heart attack. I think just because of like he did some gnarly stuff. And then he was like his body. Yeah, I think it was only a matter of time, unfortunately. So since then I've just been like going like sport clips and like oh no. I don't know where to go.

SPEAKER_02 27:18

I mean, I can help you find somebody. Okay, thank you. Don't worry about it.

SPEAKER_07 27:23

Thanks.

SPEAKER_01 27:24

Wow. Um did you have any interest at all in like going down the same path than your dad? No. No. I can't even braid my own hair.

SPEAKER_07 27:36

Really? No.

SPEAKER_01 27:37

Oh.

SPEAKER_07 27:38

Sarah was like, like she would always braid my hair growing up, and like all the girls on her softball team, she's braiding hair and all that stuff. I'm not like creative in that sense. Like I'm not musical, like musically talented. I can't.

SPEAKER_01 27:54

Yeah. Huh. What what are your what's your expertise then? That's a good question. My social skills. You do have great social skills. Thank you. Yeah. I'll give you that. Um did you go to college at all?

SPEAKER_07 28:08

Yeah. I went to Golden Lest and I got a degree in my associate's in psychology and child development.

SPEAKER_01 28:16

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_07 28:17

Yeah. Oh wow. And then I went to Long Beach for a little bit and university or Long Beach Shape. And continued my psychology degree, and I ended up having to drop out because father.

SPEAKER_01 28:30

Father, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 28:31

Had to pay the rent now.

SPEAKER_01 28:33

We'll get there.

SPEAKER_07 28:34

We're good. We're getting there. We're getting there. I'm going back to school. That's good. In February.

SPEAKER_01 28:39

I'm excited for you.

SPEAKER_07 28:40

The original goal of my life was to be a nurse. Okay. That's kind of where my passion is, is like taking care of people and healing people. Um and it was I was going to school for nursing when the pandemic started. Okay. And I am not the kind of gal that can learn online. I learned that super quickly. Yeah. And so I paused on that and I was like, well, maybe I don't want to do it. And it always was in the back of my brain, like, no, this is what like you're meant to do. And I have to move to rural Oregon to do it, but I'm doing it.

SPEAKER_01 29:17

Yeah. I'm so excited. Um, did you I know you said you weren't great in school. So what made you want to like actually volunteerly go to school now? Like going to college?

SPEAKER_07 29:30

Um the passion that I have for helping people. Like if I can get through school, then that's all I have to do. And then I can be where I want to be. Like it's worth a couple of shitty years to make it the difference that I want to make.

SPEAKER_01 29:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 29:46

Um. And so I'm just gonna thug it out for a couple years and focus.

SPEAKER_01 29:54

When like did it hit you that you knew that was something you wanted to do? In like early high school. Was there anything like a moment or anything that you're like it stands out that like triggered that?

SPEAKER_07 30:06

Well, I've well going growing up, science was always like my favorite subject. I always it was so fascinating to me. And I've always for some reason really liked hospitals.

SPEAKER_05 30:18

Really?

SPEAKER_07 30:18

Yeah. Like I've really been intrigued by healthcare. Okay. And ever since I was a kid, I was like, I always loved taking care of people when they were sick or when they were sad, or that's why I thought I wanted to be a therapist for a minute. Um, but I think what really solidified it to me was when I had to deal with like my first run-in with like needing to step in in a situation and help somebody and like call 911. For some reason, in all those situations I've been in, I've been very calm and like yeah, like when everything went down with my dad, like I was the one that was like explaining all the medications that he's on, every condition that he has, this is how many he drinks he's had today, and like I very I stay very calm and then I freak out later. Yeah, and so I think having that natural ability to like stay calm in like that kind of a situation is a big perk. And yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:30

Do you think that came from your parents, your siblings, or just something that you just inherently got?

SPEAKER_07 31:37

I think it's something I kind of inherently got, but also like my mom always took such good care of us when we were sick, and I just like there's nothing like getting taken care of by your mom, like when you're sick, and I want everybody to feel that. Yeah. And I feel like I've always wanted to be able to help people on their worst days because I know what that worst day feels like. Yeah, and having somebody that cares on like an empathetic level and understands that point is important, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:10

So interesting. Um did you when you're going to Golden West and you're doing the psychology thing, did you enjoy like what that looked like and kind of what you were learning in that aspect of mental health?

SPEAKER_07 32:25

Yeah. I uh mental health has been a big um topic of conversation in my family for a long time. And I think I thought it was really cool to learn about the brain and why it's doing the things that it's doing. And like I took an abnormal psychology classes, class where we learned about all the different mental disorders and eating disorders and sexual disorders, and it's fascinating. Where like I don't get freaked out by that kind of stuff, like I'm intrigued by it. Um, and I loved learning about like the people that I know that struggle with thir certain things, like why they have that or how what can treat that? Um I just love the medical world, I think it's so interesting.

SPEAKER_01 33:12

Yeah. Um, I guess backtracking maybe a little bit. When did Trader Joe's come into play for you? Because then you start.

SPEAKER_07 33:23

Yeah, I started my junior year of high school. Okay. I had just turned 16. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 33:27

At 47, right?

SPEAKER_07 33:28

Yeah, five points. Five points. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:31

What uh was it just because your mom was working for the company or yeah.

SPEAKER_07 33:34

So basically, when you'd get a crew member discount back in the day, you would need to have a mate come over and give you a key to unlock the discount. And so my mom had been shopping in that store with me for years. And she got to know the captain there. Her name was Carla, and she would tell me and my sister since we were kids, like, when you turn 16, like you come in here and you get a job, and I did. And it was like my first ever job. Well, I had worked like at a snack bar in babysat before that, but um, first job like you had to clock in and out of, and I loved it when that through high school, it was great. Yeah. So that was eight years ago.

SPEAKER_01 34:18

Okay.

unknown 34:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:20

Nice. But yeah, I remember my so my best friend from high school, Josh, he he works in like aerospace shit now for Northrop Grumman and like works on stuff he can't talk about. Oh my god. So I always I'm always like, dude, I you know, it's cool, I know. Like you're you guys are like building a bomb to go blow up North Korea. It's cool, I got it. We're all good. He he just he just laughs. That's like my ongoing joke with him. Um but uh before he went to Northrop, he worked at Trader Joe's at the Santa Anna store. Oh really? For like a year and a half. Mario was one of those mates. Shut up. And my captain now was his captain at Santa Anna. Oh wow. Small world. Yeah, so this is like 2015, 2016, maybe. And um, but I remember like we'd go to Trader Joe's together, like I don't go get Trader Jose's when they still sold those. Oh yeah. RIP. Yep. And uh we'd go through Reg and he'd be like, oh you know, I can I get a key. And I'm like, what? Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 35:19

What?

SPEAKER_01 35:19

What is this key unlocked? Yeah, what is this key? It was this discount, but then I remember when I got hired, it was like that's not a thing anymore. Obviously, it's just hey, I work at store so and so. Yeah. What? Try again?

unknown 35:33

Oh no, you can buy a blue bad.

SPEAKER_01 35:35

Yeah, but this is a yellow yellow banana. Where's blue green? Over there.

unknown 35:43

Yeah, it's green.

SPEAKER_01 35:44

This is oh yeah, that's green. What do you need though? That's Eleanor's treat.

SPEAKER_00 35:51

You wanna come sit with me?

SPEAKER_01 35:53

You wanna come sit with Andy Summer? Oh, you wanna watch sing along?

SPEAKER_00 35:59

Oh, okay, boomy along.

SPEAKER_01 36:01

We can watch sing along, but we're not watching Spooky sing along. That's Halloween. Yeah, happy Halloween.

SPEAKER_00 36:09

Good morning. Mickey Mouse. I got that one.

SPEAKER_01 36:15

Do you want to watch Sing Along? Yeah? Okay, this is great podcasting.

SPEAKER_07 36:21

Toddler Life. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:32

Yeah. Or do you want to watch Nightmare Before Christmas? Yeah. I think we're gonna go see Mickey tomorrow if it doesn't rain.

SPEAKER_07 36:53

When I babysat her, I made her watch the Lorax. Oh yeah, you said she liked it, right? She did. Need to educate this girl.

SPEAKER_01 37:05

How about choo how about choo-choo? Can we watch choo-choo? No. Okay, well let's skip this ad in a second. In ten seconds. Almost there. There we go.

SPEAKER_07 37:32

Did you guys watch Dancing with the Stars?

SPEAKER_01 37:35

Not really, no. Are we missing out?

SPEAKER_07 37:38

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 37:40

Oh, you want to watch Choo Choo?

SPEAKER_07 37:42

Oh, is this literally just the train?

SPEAKER_08 37:44

It's a good one.

SPEAKER_01 37:44

Yeah, oh we're we're we're like big Disney ride POV fans. She's obsessed. No? Do you want do you want uh do you want Spooky House? No. Do you want Yo? You want Roger Rabbit?

SPEAKER_08 37:58

Yo, Yoho.

SPEAKER_01 37:59

Yeah, we go pirates, yo. Do you want Roger Rabbit?

unknown 38:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:03

Okay. For some reason she loves Roger Rabbit. Never seen the movie. We've never gone on the ride, but she loves to watch.

SPEAKER_05 38:08

Interesting. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:10

Oh, that's hilarious. Um so how long were you at 47 for?

SPEAKER_07 38:18

I think four years.

SPEAKER_01 38:19

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_07 38:20

Yeah. And I think yeah, I was 20. And then I transferred to the Berkerson Hamilton store.

SPEAKER_01 38:25

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 38:25

And then I got some jobs at restaurants and wanted to like do that. Because I've been doing traders for my whole working life. Yeah. And I wanted to try something else. Okay. So I started working at some restaurants and I quit traders for a little bit. How long did you quit for? Like a year and a half.

SPEAKER_01 38:46

Okay. Decent amount of time.

SPEAKER_07 38:48

Yeah. And then I worked, I did a sales job in the middle of that.

SPEAKER_01 38:51

What was a sales job?

SPEAKER_07 38:53

I worked for my uncle. We were doing he has a collection agency. Yeah. He serves the multifamily space. Okay. And so I was helping him with sales and closing deals with different property management companies. Oh, nice. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:07

Did you enjoy that?

SPEAKER_07 39:08

Yeah. We got to travel a ton. Um, it was just a little bit stressful. Yeah. And I didn't think I knew I didn't want to do it for my whole life. Um working from home was tough for me.

SPEAKER_01 39:22

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 39:22

Yeah. So, and I knew at that point I was like, no, I have to go back to nursing school. Like, I have to see this through. Um, and so I quit and I went back to Traders with the plan of going back to school.

SPEAKER_01 39:37

Okay. And so when you came back to Traders, was it Crystal Cove? Yeah. Okay. Why Crystal Cove? I had a friend that worked there. Okay. And you, how long were you there for?

SPEAKER_07 39:50

Uh probably six months. Okay. Not long. Yeah. Because then I got transferred to UCI.

SPEAKER_01 39:57

Yeah. That's where we met.

SPEAKER_07 39:58

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 40:00

What a time.

SPEAKER_07 40:01

Thank God. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:02

So let's not go that far. Um jeez. Um what are you doing? Yeah. Eating careful. She's gonna smack her head on that table one of these days. That's what I did. She's um so at the are you in school at the same time as you're kind of doing these in-between traders and going back to traders?

SPEAKER_07 40:32

No.

SPEAKER_01 40:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 40:34

No. I did school when I was working at the restaurants and traders. Okay. And then once I quit the restaurant to do the sales job, then I was done with school too.

SPEAKER_01 40:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 40:48

Because that is a way that I could have like I needed to find something that made me more money because my siblings and I all decided to stay in our childhood home after my dad passed to help my mom pay rent. And so we could all stay together for a couple more years and figure out what everybody's gonna do.

SPEAKER_01 41:07

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 41:08

So I put school on pause and then worked full-time.

SPEAKER_01 41:13

Okay. Um and the house you guys are in, has that been the house for pretty much your whole life? Okay.

SPEAKER_07 41:20

When I moved to Fountain Valley, we moved into that house. My brother turned one in that house. Oh wow. Yeah. So it's been like 20 years.

SPEAKER_01 41:25

You guys rent? Yeah. Nice. Um with your dad, how uh how was there always like a drinking problem there? Yes. Okay.

SPEAKER_07 41:51

But I I always think it's so strange because my dad was an alcoholic, but I never saw him drunk.

SPEAKER_01 41:58

It's like a functioning alcoholic?

SPEAKER_07 42:00

Yeah. Okay. Like all he drank was Coors Light. But he was never drunk. Like he was a very present and emotionally available dad. Like he was the best dad. He like gave his life to being a dad. Um, and it just ended up catching up with his body as we got older.

SPEAKER_01 42:23

Was there any like warning signs at all?

SPEAKER_07 42:26

Or um, I didn't know any better. Because I that's what I thought was normal. Like I thought it was normal to drink a lot of beers every night. Um, and until I and honestly, like I have several friends and like this the friend group we all hung out with, their parents are the same way. And so I never thought anything of it. Like I thought it was normal, like that my dad wouldn't wasn't able to like pick me up from a nighttime practice or I don't know. I I didn't think anything of it until I got older and started realizing, like when I met my husband's parents, like they don't drink every night. Um, and as I like just started meeting more people and spending more time with other families, that I realized it wasn't really normal. And once it started affecting like his relationships and his work is and his health, then we started realizing like this isn't normal, and we should probably figure it out.

SPEAKER_01 43:23

Yeah. Were you guys like was there an intervention or anything? Oh, yeah, there was plenty of those.

SPEAKER_07 43:31

That's the hard part about an alcoholic brain, is that and that's something like we all had to come to terms with on our own after is that it was never a question of that he didn't love us or that he didn't care about us or he didn't want it. He just didn't want it enough. He the alcohol had too much of a hold on him. Yeah. It's it's a disease, it's like any other disease you get. The treatment for it is just different, and the stigma behind it. Is really big where I used to feel like I never told any I didn't tell mar very many people how my dad died when he first passed because I was ashamed of it. But I know at the end of the day how amazing of a person he was and how amazing of a dad he was. He just had some issues that he struggled with, and that was how he coped.

SPEAKER_01 44:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 44:24

Um, but I don't blame him for it, and I don't blame myself or my family for it.

SPEAKER_01 44:30

Yeah, yeah. Um she tucked herself in on the floor. She's been doing it a lot lately. Like she's been into blankets and like tucking herself in. It is so cute. Um so did like for you did that affect or shape anything with your relationship with like wanting to drink or anything like that?

SPEAKER_07 44:57

Yeah, yeah, yeah, a ton. I um somebody told me a long time ago that a hangover is like a mini detox from alcohol, and I watched him detox a lot. And after that, like if I ever drank enough to get hungover, the anxiety and the shame that I felt being hungover was like more. It was worse, it was it made it not worth it to drink for me because I felt a lot of shame for letting myself enjoy alcohol or enjoy my night. And I get horrible anxiety when I drink, and it started after that.

SPEAKER_01 45:43

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 45:44

So I drink sparingly. Okay. My brother's fully sober. I'm so proud of him. He turned he star he got sober. I mean, he wasn't like a big drinker, yeah, but he stopped drinking right before my dad died. Okay. So he's been sober since. And he just turned 21 and he's doing good, but he saw what it did. Like I drank before that all happened. Like me and my dad would have a beer together at night or whatever. And so I already knew that my relationship with alcohol was pretty stable. Okay. Like I can have just one. Like, I'm not the kind of person that needs to get drunk if I'm gonna drink. Um, where I know people who are that way. Yeah. And so I knew like I'm good. I don't have that in me that wants that. So my relationship with alcohol was pretty healthy. I don't know if any relationship with alcohol is healthy, but I know what you mean though. Um so I didn't ever stress about it for myself. But just for myself, like I it doesn't agree with me. Yeah. It doesn't agree with my brain. So I try to avoid it when I can.

SPEAKER_01 46:54

Yeah. Did it it's always like interesting to me how people handle grief. So like after everything happened, did that like solidify even more for you that relationship with alcohol? Or was it because I feel like some people, you know, it can either go like, no, I'm good, I'm not doing whatever it might be, or they could be like just straight down the rabbit hole, you know, to like coach.

SPEAKER_07 47:20

Yeah, I didn't go down the rabbit hole. I definitely enjoy like having a glass of wine at night or when I cook dinner. Yeah. Um, and I love to have a couple drinks with my friends on like a night. Like, I don't not drink, like I do drink. As I'm getting older though, I'm starting to r rethink the relationship with alcohol. But when everything went down, I think I did just kind of want to numb some stuff.

SPEAKER_01 47:46

Yeah, of course.

SPEAKER_07 47:47

So I I drank I didn't drink for a couple weeks after he died, and then I would drink a little bit. Yeah. I smoked a lot of weed.

SPEAKER_01 48:02

Karen's maybe you can help. Karen really wants to start. Oh. Like she's like, yeah, the last week she was like, I want to have like a pre-roll at night and sit in the backyard. And she's like never smoked before. Yeah. And I was like, okay, I can ask around. Like I have for like I don't really smoke at all. Last time I smoked was in 2020. Jesus. Yeah. Like it's doesn't do a whole lot for me. Yeah. It makes me very relaxed, but yeah, that's about it.

SPEAKER_07 48:32

I mean Kyle will sit outside and have smoke a joint. Okay. Or we'll take our dog on a walk and smoke while we walk. And it's very peaceful. Yeah. It's good bonding.

SPEAKER_01 48:44

Yeah. So she wants to give it a try. So it's like, oh, I'll ask around. I have some friends. Yeah. Just go slow. Yeah. Yeah. I'll hook you up. Yeah. We she's very intrigued about this. Like, and it came out of nowhere too. She was just like so funny. I think it's just everything that's gone on. I want to be a stoner. Yeah, I think it's just everything that's gone on the last couple years and having a kid and just like it's just been a lot.

SPEAKER_07 49:06

So it's definitely. I mean, I the I also have friends that cannot smoke weed. Yeah. They get so anxious. Yeah. And I was like that when I first tried smoking. And then as like my tolerance kind of built a little bit, it was easier for me. And like at the end of like a hard shift, there's nothing like it.

SPEAKER_01 49:29

Uh see for me. I just go to Taco Bell. That's my We all have our vices. That's my vice. This hard day, go to Taco Bell.

SPEAKER_07 49:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 49:37

Eat my feelings.

SPEAKER_07 49:38

Period. Crunch wrap supreme.

SPEAKER_01 49:41

Geez Gritty to Crunch Mexican pizza.

SPEAKER_07 49:43

You remember the double decker taco? Oh yeah. That was my jam.

SPEAKER_01 49:47

Ooh, yeah. I forgot all about that. Um. What year did your dad pass? 2022. Okay. Um as much as you want to share, kind of what happened? Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 50:06

Yeah. Um, so basically, he started getting some symptoms from his alcohol use. And he so October of 2021, he was going to get an ultrasound done on his leg because he had like pretty severe edema in his leg. And the morning he woke up for his ultrasound, he was throwing up digested blood. So it looked like like coffee grounds. Um, he was really disoriented, he had a hard time walking, um, couldn't really stand up, and he kept throwing up. And so my mom took him to the appointment, they got the ultrasound done on his leg, and then my mom finally saw what he was throwing up, and it was like black. And she took him back home, and I was like, What the fuck is happening to him? And it's like one of those things that'll never really leave your brain.

SPEAKER_04 51:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 51:17

And he was like, I just want to take a nap. And my mom told me what was happening, and I was like, Dad, you need to go to the hospital, like right now. And he's like, Well, I just want to sleep it off for a little bit. And I was like, if you don't call, if you don't go with mom, like I'm gonna call an ambulance. And I literally said I was because he was a cheap guy. I was like, You don't want to have to pay for that. And then then he got up. I'll do it. Yeah, and so he was hospitalized for like two nights, I think. He had an upper GI bleed, which I've learned is a very common thing that happens to alcoholics. Um, I don't know why, but a lot of people die that way from alcohol abuse. And he also had early signs of cirrhosis and like high liver enzymes or something. He had a couple things that were going on. Yeah. So he, you know, banana bagged it up, got sober, um, they fixed whatever was going on in his throat. And basically, with the throat stuff, what was happening is it was bleeding from the tear in his esophagus and bleeding into his stomach, digesting, and he was throwing it back up. Okay. So that was the backstory of why that was getting thrown up. Yeah. Anyways, he gets sober and things start to like really look up for him, for our family, for everything. And I don't know how long he was sober for. I like still to this day don't know. Um, and things started getting a little bit sketchy around March and April of 2022. And I ended up going up to Oregon with my mom and my sister because my grandma was really sick, my mom's mom. And she was in the hospital, and we were up there for like two weeks. And my brother was home with my dad, and I think that time he just like went ham.

SPEAKER_03 53:25

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 53:26

And full like relapsed. I think he may have relapsed before that, because we were like hearing things from some of his clients and finding things. Um, but we had didn't know for sure. Anyways, so I we get home from Oregon. I come home on his birthday, April 25th, and I'm like, what is going on here? He was so different. Um, he's taking other stuff with it though. And so I send my sister, my brother to his salon, and they find booze there. And so we're like, okay, well, he is drinking, but he's swearing on his life that he's not. So I'm like, I don't know what to do. And we have this trip to Hawaii planned next month for my mom's birthday. He's so excited to take us because we've always gone like with people, or we've stayed somewhere for free. And this, and we were again staying somewhere for free, but it was like a fun trip. He planned it for my mom's birthday. She turned 50. And so tensions were high in the household, but we all were just like looking forward to this trip. Like, we're gonna heal as a family. My dad was like, after Hawaii, like, I'm gonna go get all my stuff checked, make sure I'm good, and we're gonna move on, and things are gonna be okay. So the time for Hawaii comes. I think we got there on May 20th. And my mom's birthday was the 20th. No, we got there May 14th. My mom's birthday is the 23rd. And so we get there, and he's like acting really weird after we get off the plane. And he started relapsing, or not relapsing, detoxing on the plane. And so we get to the condo we're staying at, and he comes clean to me and my siblings, and is like, I have been drinking, I'm gonna drink on this trip, and as soon as we get home, I'm getting help. I'm ready. And he was gonna get all this stuff figured out. And so I had the flu when we went on this trip because I have the flu before every trip. I swear to god. Awesome. So I like slept all my feelings and my sickness away that night, and I woke up the next day and he started not feeling good. And he's like, I think I just have what you have, like, my stomach's not feeling good, whatever. So I gave him a coconut water and some coffee, and he's like, You guys go have a good day, go get some lunch, go to the beach. Um, and once you guys come home, like I'm gonna be good. I'll be good to co go do stuff tomorrow. And we're like, Okay, that's a bummer, but if you're not feeling good, you're not feeling good. So we went to the beach for a little bit, and then we went and got lunch. Like, we went home and we go into the condo, and he is like teetering, dying. And he there was that same digested blood everywhere, and he couldn't speak, he couldn't. It was the most horrible thing I've ever seen in my life. Yeah, and um we called 911 and he had beers around, and I tried, I was like, just hold up how many you've had on his fingers because he couldn't talk. And I'm like, I just need to know so I can tell them. And the paramedics came and took him in an ambulance and Violet, you're gonna what were you trying to do?

SPEAKER_01 57:17

Hang yourself?

SPEAKER_07 57:22

Comedic relief. Yeah, geez. She knew. Um they took him and he died twice on the way to the hospital. And then they were able to bring him back, and they intubated him. And so basically he was on life support and he had fully like liver failure, cirrhosis, all of those things. Plus, I think one of the times he threw up, he tore all the way down his esophagus. And basically, why he was acting like like he couldn't function is because he was like almost bled out. Yeah. Um, and so he stayed overnight in the hospital. And the next morning, the doctor was like, I there's so much wrong with him. Like, there's no way he's gonna come out of it. And he's like, just go home and try to sleep and I'll call you if he gets better or if he gets worse. And he called and said he got worse. Um, and so we went back to the hospital and took him off life support, and we were all there to say bye to him.

SPEAKER_05 58:44

And then we left without him. And it was horrible. It was horrible. So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 59:02

What um for you, what were like your next kind of steps after all this?

SPEAKER_07 59:16

I had no idea. He was my safe place. He was the only one that understood me and like the things I come with. Um, he was the only one that understood my anxiety and how to calm me down. And um, so I was very, very lost without him.

SPEAKER_04 59:42

Alice!

SPEAKER_07 59:44

That is Alice.

SPEAKER_01 59:46

That is Alice. We love Alice.

SPEAKER_07 59:49

Um I didn't really know what to do. I just went on a bunch of antidepressants and tried to focus on anything else. I my purpose though was taking care of my family. I kept I tried my best to keep everybody afloat. And I think that's why I struggled so hard later. Is because I put my stuff aside for a long time to help them. Um But yeah, I didn't know what to do without him. I didn't know w what we were gonna do. He was like our rock. Yeah. It was horrible. So yeah, it was my my family became my mom and my siblings became my purpose after that.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:39

Was that were you already back at Traders at this point? Or was No.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:43

Okay. I was off traders already. Okay. I quit traders when things were bad. With him like relapsing and stuff um before that first hospital stay, I'd quit. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:57

Um did um so you guys leave? I'm gonna I might be jumping ahead a little bit, but like you're fine. I know you guys have like for you and Kyle's honeymoon, you guys went to Hawaii. Like how was it being in that state again?

SPEAKER_07 1:01:24

Like well, the first time I went back to Hawaii, so that was on Maui. Okay. Which is really fitting because that was my dad's favorite place in the world.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 1:01:33

And what?

SPEAKER_01 1:01:37

What do you need? What do you need? Alice? That is Alice. This is a new one for me, what do you need? This is Alice. Yeah, my shoes are on. You want to watch a choo choo? Okay, we'll watch a choo choo. Or you want to watch a toad? Or here, you want your sing along? All right, Peter's.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:33

That's okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:48

That's not the movie. What the hell? There we go. Christmas. There we go. Akuna matada. Um Yeah, so I because yeah, what was it like going back?

SPEAKER_07 1:03:08

Um yeah, the first time I went back, I went to Oahu with my in-laws. Okay. And it was like a year after, I think. So it's still pretty fresh. And it was anxiety provoking, but it wasn't like I think because it was a different island, it was okay. Um, but it was I feel very like whenever I go back to Hawaii, I feel I feel him more around. That's like it's like the same thing, like I feel that way at the beach because that's the same ocean that connects to Maui. And I think I think that was his resting place. Yeah. Um we spread his ashes there because we just went back for our honeymoon. We went to Kauai, and then my family met us in Maui.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:02

And that was the first time all of us had been back to Maui. We stayed in a different part of the island. I like ran through the airport because I didn't want to see it.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:13

Yeah. And it honestly was not as triggering as I thought it was gonna be. Okay. Because I think we've done a lot of healing and we've gotten past all of the traumatic parts of it. Because we all got diagnosed with PTSD after that.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:32

Uh uh, yeah, of course.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:34

So as we've like the time has passed, time really does help. And I don't get taken back to those places anymore in my own brain um as often as I used to. And so if I were to go back to the condo, then that would have been a different story, or back to the hospital on Maui. That would have been different. But we did a beautiful evening for him, and we each bought him a lay, and we each took turns spreading his ashes on his favorite beach. Um, and said a couple words to him, and left the lays on a tree for him. And that's where we went the day after he died. We went to his favorite beach and we left his shoes at the beach, like up on a cliff so he could look out. That sounds weird, but that's what we were thinking. Yeah, yeah. Um, so we went back there, and that's where we did our little thing for him. And I think we've all healed a lot. We've done I'm so proud of my family. Because I did not think we would be getting this far at all. My mom promoted after he died. She's like, it's my turn to take care of everybody. So she's just handled this with just way better than I ever could have. She really hauled it together. For us and learned a lot about what she needs to do and has grown so much as a person and has become so independent. And yeah, I am very proud of her. And yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:19

How um after he passed, how much longer were you guys on the island before you came back home?

SPEAKER_07 1:06:29

We switched our flights because we were that it literally happened on the first day of our vacation. Like, how fucked up is that? Oh my god. Like I didn't even go in the ocean.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:44

Like he couldn't, like. I'm so sorry. Give me one day, man. Give me one day. Oh my god. Um so fucked.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:54

Oh Jesus.

SPEAKER_07 1:06:55

But he we ended up changing our tickets and came home like two days. Like we were there for one more full day, and then we went home the next day.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:03

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:03

Because he died really early in the morning on one day, and then we stayed. One more full day, and we went home. Okay. Yeah. Hell. Shh.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:18

A little bit.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:19

That was like that's the kind of stuff that I never thought I was gonna have to understand. Like you hear all these traumatic stories and like horrible stories of things that happen to people, and you never think it's gonna be you.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:34

And I never would have had to think what it like one of us had to take home his suitcase. We had to pack his clothes and take home, pack his suitcase and take it home with us without a body to go with it. Because he's we left his body there to get cremated and shipped home. Um but that kind of stuff and walking back into my childhood home that he made so magical. He was the he was a dad to everyone. All of my friends know him as their second dad. Like my best friend that I was telling you about earlier, she was like just as heartbroken as I was. Um so walking into all those memories was probably the most overwhelming feeling of my life.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:20

Yeah. I feel like it would be I this is probably just me projecting because it's how I would how I would be, but I feel like in that situation it would be really difficult for me to go back to my home and be in there. Like I would want to get the fuck out and like start over.

SPEAKER_07 1:08:44

We wanted to really bad, but we didn't have another option.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:08:49

My mom redecorated everything. We didn't we couldn't afford anywhere else. Yeah, you know, he was our main source of income. And so we and we weren't in a place where we could just leave the state. Like my brother was still in high school. Um and so there was just like no other option. And then we had this big old dog that he was dying to get. Josie was like his like dying wish. Okay. And so now we're like, we can't put her in an apartment, like that sucks. So we were like, we just have to figure out, like, we have to get past it. Yeah, but everywhere you look, he's there, everywhere.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:33

Um, but it honestly like it sucked for like a year, and after that it got a little easier to be there. We made more memories in that house, and it ended up. I still love that house. Yeah, it's gonna be hard to leave it.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:51

Um, I know you and I have talked about this at work, so I know the answer, but um in terms of like religion, like where do you fall on that, especially going through something like this? Oh.

SPEAKER_07 1:10:06

That was it's really interesting because me and my dad would have a lot of conversations about stuff like this and religion and God, and um, we were both we both would consider ourselves spiritual. I believe that there is something looking over us. Um, I don't think it's God personally. Um, I I have a hard time believing that somebody has control over everything and still makes these bad things happen to people that don't deserve it. Um he was always like, how if God was real, why would he give kids cancer?

SPEAKER_01 1:10:41

Thank you.

SPEAKER_07 1:10:41

Yeah, yeah. Like I don't I don't understand it. Yeah. Um, I think that living as a good person and having a good moral compass and treating people how you want to be treated, there's nothing more you can do. But you don't have to not have premarital sex and have to follow all of these rules that like organized religion forces on you.

unknown 1:11:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:11:07

But as I've lost a lot of people, I think that now I think that my loved ones that have passed are guiding me. Okay. Like I like I thank my dad when something good happens to me. And I think he's keeping me safe. Because I know like how protective he was. He would have never let anything happen to me when he was alive, and I don't think that's changed. Like, I think he's always gonna protect me because I'm his little girl. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:40

Um, yeah, I I yeah, I especially having a kid now and being a little girl, like I've never been religious at all. Um in doing what I did before I worked at Trader Joe's and the film world and specifically like dirt bikes, it's a very right-leaning community, and it's very like church and God and all that stuff, and I'm just like, okay, yeah. I've been to dinners with like teams and athletes and right an outback steakhouse, and here comes our food, and I start diving in and then I look up and everyone's Oh Lord, yeah, and I'm I'm like That's my nightmare. Oh, it's happened to me multiple times, and I am the one that feels like an asshole. Yeah. Because I'm like, fuck. Like I didn't know this was like a thing that we really did, but we do it. And um I never like would have never like went down that rabbit hole with any of those people because it's not worth it. But um, it was just always interesting, like to your point of like if there is like a god, then why like again you're telling me he has control, like you said, over all of us, but he's making these really shit decisions where like Karen and I literally have conversations about when she goes to school and like what if? Yeah. Because unfortunately, it's a plausible situation. It's awful. And you're telling me that if something were to happen, thoughts and prayers, it's just part of God's plan. That is not a god That's bullshit. Yeah, that's not a God that I want to like be a part of.

SPEAKER_07 1:13:20

No, and the fact that they use their horrible conservative viewpoints and hide behind God to excuse it is disgusting.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:35

It's yeah. I and I have some I have some friends that are like religious, right-leaning. Um, I guess, like, I guess now in this day and age, like normal right-leaning, not like the Republican. Republican. That's fine. A normal Republican. Yeah. And um, but they're very much we have like the same, I guess, understanding of like I'm actually kind of jealous that you can believe in this, and like you're all you're like all for it. Like, I'm like, fuck, it's kind of nice.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:04

Like, no, I wouldn't literally being a Trump supporter sounds so nice because you just get to be so ignorant and like especially right now.

SPEAKER_07 1:14:20

Like, what a peaceful time.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:21

What a peaceful time to be on that side.

SPEAKER_07 1:14:23

No, yeah. Like, I will literally every day get discouraged by what I do.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:29

Especially, yeah. Oh man, it's wild.

SPEAKER_07 1:14:32

Like the fact that hi, the fact that bulletproof backpacks are a thing.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:14:38

Is sick.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:39

That's not like not good. No. Um yeah, but I yeah, I sometimes just envious can just believe so wholeheartedly. Yeah. Um, but like some of my friends that are that way, like there is that mutual understanding or respect of like, okay, you believe what you believe. Like, I'm not trying to change your mind. No. Please just don't like let me be. Yeah. Mutual respect.

SPEAKER_07 1:15:03

For sure.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:04

That's all.

SPEAKER_07 1:15:04

Yeah. And I think that if you can if you come across somebody that like can do that, I think it's a lot of times, like, especially on more left-leaning people, we're like, I don't want to be associated with any Trump supporters.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:15:21

And I understand that because it comes down to human rights and equal equality and like letting people live an easier life.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:15:32

Um, but I also am going to respect that people were raised differently.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:15:39

And to a point it's not their fault. Oh yeah. Like, oh yeah. And so I'm never gonna fault you for being uneducated.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:47

Yeah, yeah. I uh doing what I used to do, I traveled a lot, especially like I would be a lot in the south and like east coastal. So I would see, and then I was in a lot of like rural areas, so like, oh yeah, is that the fire truck? We love a fire truck. You and you and mom have that in common. But mama likes the firemen.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:12

I also like the firemen.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:14

I yeah truck. Yeah, fire truck. Yeah. Yeah, I hear it. I think it's gone now.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:33

It's gone. It's so defeated. Why? Yeah. Maybe it'll come back.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:41

It'll come back. Just keep listening. Keep an ear out. Um, like being in these really rural parts of the country and seeing how these people live, I'm like, oh yeah, it makes sense. Yeah. They don't know any different. Yeah. Like even when COVID was going on, I remember traveling to Tennessee and going to dinner with some people, and like some people that were on the crew were from that area, and they're like, oh my god, you're from California. It must be terrible out there. And I'm like, I'm like, I'm having a good time. Yeah, I'm like, it's not as bad as unfortunately what you're being fed by your media. Yeah. Sure, we have to wear a mask, but like, we're still able to go do things. Yeah. And they were like, oh, it just sounds like you're just in lockdown.

SPEAKER_08 1:17:29

Yeah. No. No. That's not how it is.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:31

That was a wild time. Yeah. Um did you Yeah, Baba.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:44

I forget.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:45

Okay. Let me know when you remember. Um after everything happened, did you go into any therapy or anything? Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:17:58

Yeah. Yeah. I went through three different therapists. Okay. And I where as a badge of honor, I made two of them cry.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:06

I've been close to making it. Really? Hell yeah. I've been close. I haven't had all I haven't gotten all the way, but I've been real close a couple times.

SPEAKER_07 1:18:13

Yeah. I went through three therapists and some antidepressants. And it was literally just to keep me going. Like I wasn't gonna be able to focus or live my life with that on my back. Yeah. Um, so the therapy and the medicine definitely helped lighten the load and made that rock in my pocket lighter. Like that's how I like to describe grief is like I hated when people were telling me that I was gonna be sad forever. Like, well, you're gonna miss him forever, and like this is you're gonna grieve him forever. Like people said that to me. And I hated, and I felt it was so unfair that I was so young and had to be sad forever. And that grief's this hole, and that you get bigger around it. And like, grief doesn't take anything away from you, it adds to you because you learn so much more about yourself and about love and about loss, and that's why I like to compare it to it's a rock in my pocket, and I have a really heavy rock in my pocket, but I get stronger around that rock and I can carry it better instead of acting like it's I have to grow bigger around this hole. I never look yeah, I have a huge hole in my heart, but no, I got stronger from it. I didn't, I'm not sad forever. Yeah, I miss him every day, but you don't stay sad forever.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:55

Yeah. That's a that's a good way to put it. Yeah, I like that. Um how long were you in therapy for?

SPEAKER_07 1:20:04

Not long enough. Like a year, maybe. Yeah. Um it was hard for me to get it all out. Because like at the end of the day, like I knew what I had to do.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:20:16

Like I was a psych major, I understood what was happening to me. I just needed some.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:21

Yeah.

unknown 1:20:22

No outside.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:23

No outside. No outside. Yeah, no outside. You can go outside. We're gonna not in the front, not yet. In a little bit. No. What are you gonna knock on? Nobody's home. It's just us. Just us. Just us. Um what was there what made you stop going to sit down with someone?

SPEAKER_07 1:21:10

Um, well, my first therapist was like just wanted me to read a bunch of books about grief and like journal and shit. And I was like, I can't not cry long enough to journal. Yeah. Um, and my second therapist was the only one that I really, really enjoyed. And she was through Cal State Long Beach. Okay. And um so I had to stop seeing her once the semester was over. But that in that time, I needed somewhere to grieve by myself because at home it was just this huge pain, like pain party. We were all so fucked up. And we're all trying to hold space for each other's grief, but grieve ourselves, and I'm trying to like help everybody feel better and listen to everybody when I'm not even dealing with my stuff. So I needed somewhere to just be summer and grieve my dad.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:22:23

And so once I had to stop seeing the one in Long Beach, I tried to find another one and I only saw her for a little bit. And I just got to a point where I was like, I'm feeling a little bit better, and I think I'm good for now. Okay. I kind of got burnt out of talking about it.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:41

Yeah, that's understandable. I've gone, I think January will be five years of being in therapy. But I I went hard for a couple of years and then it turned into like a bi-weekly thing, and then it was like once a month. Because it was like kind of the same thing. Like you just kind of run out of things to talk about, and you're like, I felt like I got to a point where it's like, okay, I know what's wrong. And like how to like we had these tools in place and how to like work through stuff. And then it was kind of just spotty. I would go periodically, and then everything happened a couple years ago. And I was like, I can't even afford to go see you, and I really need to see you. And she was very sweet and like we'll figure it out. Like she gave me a couple sessions for free, and then like we did like some payment plan stuff, and then got a little bit better, stopped going, and then like we were talking about earlier before we started recording my last two months. I was like, Oh, I'm not okay. Like, I'm hurting pretty bad. So went back. Kind of same situation financially, it's still been like tough.

SPEAKER_07 1:23:51

Did she not take insurance?

SPEAKER_01 1:23:55

No, she does not, unfortunately. That sucks. Yeah, and she's really I love her. Like, she's so good and like helped me a lot. And I'm like, I we talked about it a couple weeks ago, actually, like maybe finding someone through my insurance, and I'm like, I don't want to start over. That sounds horrible to me. Yeah. Like, I don't want to start from the beginning with someone I don't know. Yeah. Hope the relationship works out because it is this weird, like a relationship. Yep. Um, and if it doesn't work out, like I like I have you, I lucked out, you're the first one I found. You've been great. Like, I like no, I'm not starting over. So it's I'm like, we'll figure it out.

SPEAKER_07 1:24:34

And people are like, if I won the lottery, I'd do this, this, and this. And you're like, if I won the lottery, I'd go to therapy.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:41

Like, I pay off some some debt and go to therapy, you know. Pretty pretty low key.

SPEAKER_07 1:24:49

If I won the lottery, you wouldn't know, but there'd be signs. There'd be signs.

SPEAKER_06 1:24:52

I'd be healthy.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:55

For real.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:57

I'd be so mentally stable and emotionally balanced. Be on some meds. Maybe some Botox. No. No, no Botox. No Botox. I'm gonna pass on that. Um so okay, you go back to Trader Joe's, Crystal Cove. Uh you're there as crew, and then you get promoted from crew to mate. What um what was I again? I know we've talked about it, but like what was that like for you kind of getting that opportunity and getting into a Hawaiian shirt?

SPEAKER_07 1:25:37

Um, I was just excited to do what my mom was doing, to be honest. Because my mom's a mate. And just do something different. I had been a crew member for so long that I like wanted to challenge myself, and I felt like I was in a place where I could challenge myself.

SPEAKER_04 1:25:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:25:56

And um I've always kind of had like a natural-born leadership ability, and so I was excited to utilize it and make the store like run it on my own and see how that felt. Yeah. And I always told myself, like, if I didn't like it, I didn't have to keep doing it.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:16

Yeah, that's true.

SPEAKER_07 1:26:16

But I wanted to try it because I got the opportunity and I didn't want to turn it down. Yeah. Um and I learned so much about myself when I did that, especially from our captain at ECI.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:28

Yeah. Yeah, she was incredible. Incredible. Um that role has oh my god. Violet. She has two laboo-boos.

SPEAKER_06 1:26:44

Um Jesus.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:47

That role, like as I'm learning, going through kind of my process of working towards that goal, like even yesterday. Um Justin, one of the mates, like, I spent like maybe 20 minutes with him in wine because he's the section leader for wine. And I'm like, that's my worst section in the store by miles. Like, I know zero percent about wine. Really? Oh, yeah. I yeah, nothing. You have wine all the time. That's why that's why I have that wine bottle. I bought it last night and I printed out the product info thing, and we did a wine tasting last night, me and Carol.

SPEAKER_07 1:27:19

Oh, that's so cute. So I'll send you some recommendations.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:22

That would be awesome.

SPEAKER_07 1:27:23

I love wine.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:24

So, yeah, I spent like 20 minutes with Justin yesterday in wine and just asking him different questions, just trying to like get some basics. Um, so I think my goal now is like once a week buy a new bottle of wine and print out the product info. I love that. That's so fun. Um, and then another mate yesterday picked his brain about some like op buy stuff and like how that works and the ordering process. And my biggest thing in doing those things and just some of the other things they've allowed me to do is like the there's a lot in that room. Yeah. That like as a crew member, unless you're pushing for a promotion, you have no idea. No idea what they do. I'm like Sometimes I'm like, whoa.

SPEAKER_07 1:28:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:02

This is a lot.

SPEAKER_07 1:28:03

It's not that hard.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:04

It seems straight like four, like once I think it's just reps, you know?

SPEAKER_07 1:28:08

It is. Yeah, especially all the admin stuff. That one you just have to, it's just reps for sure. Yeah. Um, but once you have like ordering down.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:28:18

Um mango bars. Can we talk about that?

SPEAKER_02 1:28:21

Let's talk about it. Okay.

SPEAKER_07 1:28:23

Once you get ordering down, I don't know if you have yet.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:27

So at my first store, where somewhere and I met at the UCI store, uh, I was Justin once again. He was a section leader for nuts and dred fruit, and he's like, hey, we're gonna teach you how to write the order for it. So he walks me through it. I'm learning. I don't know how long it was into me writing the order. It wasn't too long.

SPEAKER_06 1:28:49

It was long enough. It was long enough. To not do this. Yeah, it was.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:53

It was. So we write the orders on these tablets, and the number five is right above the number zero. And the mango bars, at least at UCI, don't sell at all. We're probably the worst. And they come in like a massive case. Massive case of, I think, 148 units. Yeah. Or it's something massive. And um, we didn't need any. No. And so instead of hitting zero on my tablet, I hit five and I ordered five cases of.

SPEAKER_07 1:29:28

So that's like 700 units of mango bars.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:35

Yes.

SPEAKER_06 1:29:35

And the things that this man did to try to get them to sell was absurd. He's demoing them. We're putting them on the register ends. He's like trying to sell them to customers.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:49

I at one point may have done the math on what it would take me to buy all the. And it turns out I don't have much money that money to buy uh that many units of mango bars.

SPEAKER_06 1:30:01

Oh it's like I wish Violet would have gotten hooked on those instead of the crushers. Would have really helped. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:08

I wonder if they're still there. They're gone. They got we sold them all out. Really? Impressive.

SPEAKER_07 1:30:13

And then the freeze-dried strawberries.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:16

Yeah, I had a weird relationship where I wouldn't order order.

SPEAKER_07 1:30:21

And that's like you like two a day.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:23

You have to order. I know. I just didn't had a lot of. Yeah. He was very patient with me.

SPEAKER_07 1:30:28

He would just come to me and talk shit.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:32

Feels about right. I would stop looking the remote. I got the I got those figured out though. We got it figured out. Okay, good. And then what do you write at Crystal Cove? I wrote Frozen. I backed up Mario for where he went on a vacation. And I and I did crushed it. Good job. I mean to my own heart. I crushed it. Everyone was impressed. Well. Everybody.

SPEAKER_07 1:30:52

It's not that much harder to be better than Mario.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:55

I love you, Mario. I love Mario. Uh yeah, I did. I've only done Frozen there. That's it.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:01

But now we're back on the like crew members can't write orders.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:04

Seriously?

SPEAKER_01 1:31:05

That sucks. Yeah. I had Haba there. Loved that. I'm terrified of the day after I had flowers.

SPEAKER_07 1:31:14

I don't think you'll have to write flowers. I hope not.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:17

Not for a long time. I don't think you'll have to. Um. Anyways, enough about my ordering errors. Uh overall, like that role for you. Because then you so you got promoted at the Crystal Coast store and then you were transferred to UCI, which is where I was at. What is it like in that managerial role getting sent to a new store?

SPEAKER_07 1:31:42

Oh, that's I was really nervous to get transferred.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:47

I guess maybe explain a little bit. Like when you get promoted, you're usually transferred.

SPEAKER_07 1:31:52

Yeah. So I promoted into what's called an area mate. There's an area mate and an in-store mate. And usually all the in-store mate roles are filled. So you can get transferred anywhere in the region, but they try to cater to how close it is to your house. Um, and so I got promoted and didn't really know how long I was gonna be at Crystal Cove. Because a lot of the times, especially if you're younger, they don't want to keep you in the store that you were a crew member at just so you can build those leadership relationships with the crew members and not a friend relationship and like blurring those lines. Um so I got transferred to UCI and I was terrified. But I knew that I was gonna learn so much because every time you transfer, you learn more because everybody does something differently, and that was gonna be my fourth store. So I already had been two different stores before, um, just never as a mate. Yeah. And so I remember like parking, like I literally was like 25 minutes early to my shift, and like didn't know where to park, didn't know where to walk in. Um, and I just tried to get to know everybody and build that trust before. I don't know. I could have done a better job, I think. I didn't know what I was doing, if I'm gonna be honest. I made a lot of mistakes.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:21

What was like the I felt like, I mean, I don't know. I remember like the first time we met, you we were in the bat back room, you were writing an order for something. And I know, I know. I was back there, I don't know what I was doing, probably building a flak heart, and I remember we talked for like 15 minutes or something like that. Yeah. Um I feel like we never like we always obviously got along great from day one. Um what was like the hardest thing though for you? Especially when she transferred. What? Baba? Do you want it off? No. Do you want to snack?

SPEAKER_08 1:34:00

You wanna come sit with me?

SPEAKER_01 1:34:01

You wanna go and sit with Andy Summer?

SPEAKER_07 1:34:04

Okay. Um I think just like having those uncomfortable conversations. I'm a very sensitive person and a very empathetic person, and so I never wanted to be the one that had to deliver uncomfortable things, yeah, and having to have like conversations about people's jobs. Like I was never out to fuck with people's lives and like want to fire them, and like that's their livelihood. So I I gave as many chances as I could before I had to do something, and I think that was what was hard is like I didn't want to have to, but I had to do my job.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:34:48

And like at the end of the day, this is also my livelihood.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:34:52

And I want to get a good raise and I want to keep my job, and so I have to do certain things. Um so that was hard because it kind of went against my moral compass.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:05

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 1:35:06

Because I wanted to just like turn a blind eye to certain things. Um and I couldn't.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:14

Yeah, that makes sense.

SPEAKER_07 1:35:16

Because I have a moral compass, but I also have like a conscience where I'm like, I have to do the right thing.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:21

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:35:22

But I don't want to hurt anybody.

SPEAKER_08 1:35:24

Yeah. So that was tough.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:27

I feel that I mean our captain at that time, I don't know how she was for like you guys as mates, but for me as crew trying to like progress, she was phenomenal.

SPEAKER_07 1:35:41

Yeah, she was. I like say to this day, I've never met a better person.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:48

I would have when I was looking to transfer, I would have gone to her store in a heartbeat, but she's so far like it's not justifiable.

SPEAKER_07 1:35:57

Yeah, I was struggling in the beginning at my store I'm at right now, and she was like, Well, how far is this drive? And I was like, I can't. I can't. Yeah. But I think she was like, she has a huge heart. I think she was just a little misunderstood.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:13

Yeah. She like again, like we were talking earlier. She would come in, yeah, Violet. Hi. Just nothing. Just nothing. Um she would get her hands dirty with us. Oh yeah. I thought she was in it with us. Yeah. Yeah, Bubba.

SPEAKER_07 1:36:36

She said that she saw a lot of herself as a young woman in me, and she had a little soft spot for me, I think.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:48

That's good. I feel like I remember when when she got transferred, her last day, her and I had like a conversation for like an hour. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:36:56

And it was, I'm just like, man. Sucks. Her last day was my last day.

unknown 1:37:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:37:00

Yeah, it was a bad day.

SPEAKER_07 1:37:02

That was double homicide.

SPEAKER_01 1:37:04

Literally double homicide. Yeah, and then yeah, everyone got there. It was such a big shakeup. It was. It was gnarly. It was tough. Um so yeah, you we met at UCI, you were there for not even a year? Not even a year.

SPEAKER_07 1:37:21

And then maybe a year.

SPEAKER_01 1:37:25

Uh I don't know. A little while. It was a while. Um and then you step down from the role. Yes. And are at a you want to put your jacket on? Okay. Fine. Sorry. Um, you step down from your role, transferred to a store that's a little bit closer to home. Um, what was your decision to want to step down and just go back to crew?

SPEAKER_07 1:37:56

Um, well, at that point, we knew me and my husband, well, I was about to get married, and me and my husband finalized our plan to move to Oregon. And I knew that that was impending. And I had a wedding coming up, and I wanted to spend as much time. I wanted to spend as much time where I grew up with my friends and family as I could, and the schedule as a mate was really difficult to do that. So I wanted to take it easy the last couple months that I was in town and um be able to take time off and kind of give myself a break from going, working so hard the last few years. Yeah. Um, and then just like enjoy this summer because I wasn't, I'm not gonna get this time back. Yeah. And the next couple years of my life are gonna suck.

SPEAKER_01 1:38:53

Yeah. Do you want it off? Off? Or do you want it on? Off, okay. So, what was the decision for you uh you guys to want to move to Oregon? Because it's you, your husband, and your mom are going?

SPEAKER_07 1:39:09

Yeah, my mom's moving um not to the same town I'm gonna be living in, but my grandpa lives up there.

SPEAKER_01 1:39:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 1:39:17

And my grandma passed a couple years ago, the one that was sick. Uh and so he's up there all alone. And that's one of my favorite people in the world, is my grandpa. We are so close. Yeah. And I just my heart hurts every time like I think about it, him being up there alone. And um, he offered me and Kyle to move in with him and have a break from Bill's, and I can go back to school because he he knows my dream of being a nurse, and he's like, I want to help you do what you want. So and I kind of I don't want to live in Fountain Valley forever. I really don't. That's what like my dad grew up here, lived here his whole life. Like, I want to experience as much as I can before I have kids. Yeah. And me and Kyle just want to try a new adventure. We're kind of in a little limbo area. And I think it's time for us to try something new.

SPEAKER_01 1:40:18

Are you I mean, you guys are leaving what next month?

SPEAKER_07 1:40:22

Yeah, December 27th.

SPEAKER_01 1:40:24

Um, how do you feel?

SPEAKER_07 1:40:27

I'm excited, but I'm scared and I'm sad and I'm feeling so many things. Like, now that I'm enrolled in school and the house is getting packed up and we're like moving along, I'm getting more excited. I was getting cold feet for a minute. I was like, I don't want to go. I'm gonna miss my siblings. Yeah. Because that's like the most heartbreaking part of all of this is having to leave my sister, my brother. Um, but I'm really excited for me and Kyle to have a fresh start and make new memories somewhere else. And we're moving where we got married, so we have all these beautiful memories there already. So that's gonna be. I'm just filling all the things. It's fair. I always do.

SPEAKER_01 1:41:16

True, true. Um are you already enrolled in school?

SPEAKER_07 1:41:22

Yeah. I don't have classes yet, but I'm meeting with a counselor in like a few days. What school are you going to? Uh a community college. Okay. In the town. They have a nursing program. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:41:32

Nice. How does it feel to like finally start getting back on track with that?

SPEAKER_07 1:41:38

It feels really good. Like I feel like it's finally my time where I've been like putting other things before my education and my career. And it's I'm so excited that I finally have the opportunity to do something for myself and do what I really want and give myself and my family and my kit future children like a better life.

SPEAKER_01 1:42:08

Yeah. Do you think you would eventually come back down to California at some point to live or stay up there, go somewhere else? I really like Bend.

SPEAKER_07 1:42:20

I'd never been there. Okay. Okay. But I've seen photos, and I think I'll really like it. So I want to go there. That's incredible.

SPEAKER_01 1:42:33

I really like this place. I've never been there. I've seen some photos.

SPEAKER_07 1:42:36

I like the idea of Bend, Oregon. Okay. It seems a little bit less methy than where I'm gonna be living.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:45

Methy, okay.

SPEAKER_07 1:42:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:42:48

Well, that's good.

SPEAKER_07 1:42:49

Yeah. That's good. I just want somewhere that's like a little like the town we're moving to is really small. And there's not a whole lot to do. So I want to move somewhere that's family oriented, good schools, more to do.

SPEAKER_01 1:43:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:43:06

And not methy.

unknown 1:43:09

Not methy.

SPEAKER_07 1:43:10

I've never been to Ben, so I'll let you know if it's methy. Learn that yeah, keep me posted.

SPEAKER_01 1:43:14

I will. Um and your mom's staying with the company, yeah?

SPEAKER_07 1:43:17

She's just transferring to a store. She got a mate transfer. Oh, awesome. Super proud of her. That's cool. Yeah. Good for her. Yeah. She can be captain at all? No. No. I don't think so. I always said she would be a really good captain, but she's uh she's like me. She's like, Yeah. I don't like want to have to do all of those the jobs nobody else wants to do.

SPEAKER_01 1:43:42

Yeah. That's hard. Yeah. I'm sure that paid that paycheck's gotta be so nice though.

SPEAKER_07 1:43:47

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 1:43:49

Yeah. So nice. Karen's asked me, she's like, you think you'd ever do that? Like, I don't know. I don't know if I have I'm capable. I that it would be financially. You're definitely capable.

SPEAKER_07 1:44:00

I just like the thing is, is I know I'm capable of things. I just don't want to.

SPEAKER_01 1:44:04

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:44:06

That's like my mom. She's totally capable of being a captain.

SPEAKER_01 1:44:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:44:10

She just doesn't want to.

SPEAKER_01 1:44:11

Yeah. I just want to be a really good mate. Period. But um Brandon, who's I'm on his team in uh we had a couple months ago. We had a meeting. Once I found out I was on his team, I'm like, hey, I just want to talk to you about like where what my goals are. So we talked for like an hour outside. It was like all remember this forever. It was such a sweet thing that he said, and he's like, he's like, I know we've only worked together for a little like a month or two, but everything you've s you've shown and your demeanor and like your willingness to learn. He's like, You're someone that in like three to five years of being in that mate role would probably be like one of the best mates. Oh that's wonderful. And he's like, it could be it could be sooner than that. It doesn't have to be three to five years. He's I'm just saying it takes a while to get comfortable in the role. But he's like, once you do, he's like, I think you would be like one of the really good ones. And I was like, oh, thanks, but yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:45:11

I always found it very um it felt like a compliment when people would come to me for things. Yeah, like they trusted me enough with issues that they had, and that was another reason why I wanted to be a mate, is because I wanted to, I found I had all these amazing mates in my Trader Joe's career, and I took little pieces of all of them. And I also wanted to be the mate that like my cart girl self could have used.

SPEAKER_01 1:45:42

Yeah. You know? Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:45:44

So I whenever I needed like people needed me for something or wanted to confide me with something, like it was an honor.

SPEAKER_01 1:45:53

Yeah. I've had that happen a fair bit now being at my news store where even though I'm still crew, crew has come to me about that's good things, and I'm like, it's very nice to know that they feel comfortable to like come talk to me.

SPEAKER_07 1:46:08

Yeah, well, you're very easy to talk to.

SPEAKER_01 1:46:10

That's what a few of them said. They're like, you're just so like mellow and and like you listen and you're patient.

SPEAKER_08 1:46:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:46:16

Thank you.

SPEAKER_08 1:46:17

Yeah. So I agree.

SPEAKER_01 1:46:20

Hopefully. Yeah. We can make this dream a reality.

SPEAKER_07 1:46:26

I you will. You've been working at it for so long that like and you want it so bad.

SPEAKER_01 1:46:30

I know. I'm just gonna stay. I gotta like not get in my own way. No, yeah, it's hard though. Yeah. Yeah. It's good. This new store is good. Good. Really good. And isn't it beautiful? Oh my god. That's the thing I'm like almost like really I get sad about. I'm like, I'm my like timeline here is not very long. Like, I know that. No, I know. And it makes me really sad. Because you see dolphins from register. Literally. And it is magical. Literally. The ocean is right there.

SPEAKER_07 1:47:02

You can see it from Reg 2.

SPEAKER_01 1:47:03

Reg 2 is my favorite register. I try to get that Reg at all every time I'm on Reg because I won't it's just waters right there. Watch the surf. Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:47:10

Yep. And there's there used to be mates there that would go surfing on their lunch breaks. I'm like, what kind of movie am I in right now?

SPEAKER_01 1:47:19

You need are you do you ever watch Dateline? No. Oh yeah. So one of the like Dateline reporters, Keith Morrison, he lives somewhere in those mansions above the store, and he comes into the store. Shut up. I've seen him like three times now. And I'm like, uh, wait a minute. You're from Dateline after Keith Morrison. But I just like, you know. Yeah, we'll keep it cool. Keep it super cool. Keep it cool.

SPEAKER_06 1:47:43

Keep it cool. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:47:44

Ask him, ask him how he likes those organic snappies.

SPEAKER_06 1:47:48

Have you ever tried a mango bar?

SPEAKER_02 1:47:51

Let me tell you. Let me order five cases for you.

SPEAKER_06 1:47:55

I bet you have enough to buy all of them.

SPEAKER_02 1:47:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:47:58

You want to help me out, brother? Could you imagine you went into credit card debt or mango box?

SPEAKER_01 1:48:03

I literally did the math on it. I told I told Captain that too. I was like, I did the math on it. I was just like, that's genetic. She laughed. Yeah. Turns out.

SPEAKER_06 1:48:14

Oh boy. I can't afford it. Turns out? Yeah. Well, they're organic.

SPEAKER_07 1:48:20

They're expensive. What? Oh, yeah. They're not very good though. I think they're good. Really? Yeah. I didn't buy one like on purpose, though, because I do actually like them.

SPEAKER_01 1:48:32

Thanks. You're welcome. Thanks. And that's the relationship that we had. Yeah. I would boo you. That was my favorite. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:48:39

Normalize booing your mates. Normalize booing your managers. I would get booed all the time.

SPEAKER_07 1:48:45

Tomato, tomato, tomato. You're welcome.

SPEAKER_02 1:48:48

That was really funny. I'm gonna start booing my mates. I haven't booed anyone since you left.

SPEAKER_07 1:48:56

I left a legacy. You did. I don't even boo Justin. That's impressive. I should. You need to. He needs it.

SPEAKER_01 1:49:05

I yeah, I verbally abuse him enough that. Everyone needs a good boo. Okay, maybe I'll start bringing it back. We'll see. Um anything else you wanna add to this that we didn't touch on.

SPEAKER_08 1:49:27

I don't think so. My mouth is so dry.

SPEAKER_01 1:49:36

Um like this might be a loaded question, but like, how do you feel? Like just after these last few years and everything that you've endured, like where you're at today, are you able to like feel proud of where you're at, or is there still like I know there'll always be like the that pain and hole in your heart, but like do you feel like you've come a long way positively after everything that's happened in the last couple years?

SPEAKER_07 1:50:12

Yeah. Yeah. I'm really proud of myself. And I'm like I've I've done more than I ever thought I would have. Like I got married and to this amazing man, and we're building a life together. And we're on the same page. And my family's in a really good place. I'm in a really good place with myself. And with work and my you know, I feel happy. And I think I'm really proud of these last few years, and I don't think I would have changed it because of everything it's taught me.

SPEAKER_01 1:50:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:50:56

So I'm I'm very proud of myself. There's obviously always work to do. Yeah. And I'm not perfect. And I still have a ton I want to do. But I don't think, like, I I don't think any of it would have happened without what happened to me.

SPEAKER_01 1:51:12

Yeah. Um with the nursing thing, like with that, where do you want to take it? Like, are you do you want to be an ER nurse or like what's where's your kind of your focus at with that? Or do you not know yet?

SPEAKER_07 1:51:24

I want to work with kids. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:51:26

I want to know. I know. That's not really.

SPEAKER_07 1:51:28

I love kids and I I would love to be in like in pediatrics or labor or something. Because I think I mean most of that would be the parents, but I think like it takes a kind of person to do something like that. Oh yeah. And I definitely want to see if I'm that kind of person. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:51:56

I think that is a super gnarly one to me. Yeah. Obviously there's a lot of joy, but when it things don't go.

SPEAKER_07 1:52:07

Yeah, and that's that's horrible. Yeah. I also get less grossed out by kids than adults.

SPEAKER_01 1:52:14

That's fair. That's fair.

SPEAKER_07 1:52:16

Like kid vomit is so much better than adult vomit.

SPEAKER_01 1:52:20

Yeah. Yeah, I spend in like I get grossed out pretty easily. So like having this little creature, I'm like impressed how unfazed I am.

SPEAKER_07 1:52:32

Oh, when it's your own kid, like it doesn't even matter. I've I've honestly cleaned up vomit from a child at Trader Joe's before. Like just with some gloves and a paper towel. Yeah. Like it doesn't, nothing really phases me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:52:47

Yeah. Yeah. I've been pooped on, peed on, stepped on her own poop. Like you've stepped on her poop or she has stepped on her poop? She I stepped on her poop. Because she uh pooped in the hallway. And we didn't know, and then all of a sudden squish. Yeah. Oh my god. Dad life. Dad life. That's hilarious. There was one time when we were in our our old house, and I was dropping her off at Karen's parents and like get her out of the car. Because I'm taking her there, and then I'm going straight to work. Holding her, and she's like, in this arm, and I'm like, My arm's wet. Oh no. So I get her in the house, I put her down, and she had shit and shit all over my work shirt. And I was like, okay. So this is how today's gonna go. So this is set the tone for the day. Oh, that's fucked up. Yeah. So I had dropped her off and then jammed back home and then to switch out shirts. And I luckily I was I wasn't late. I was like barely made it, but I was like, Oh no. What a time. The things they don't tell you about parenting. Right? I know, but it's is it worth it? It's pretty awesome. Yeah. I'm perpetually exhausted.

SPEAKER_07 1:54:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:54:03

Um there's a lot of things that I didn't expect like emotionally that I'm having a hard time with just for growing up and yeah. Karen and I trying to like balance our relationship and like make time for us, make time for like us as like just individuals, you know, and like time for friends, and seems impossible. Yeah. We both work full time. So it's been tough. Yeah. But yeah, she's pretty dang cool though.

SPEAKER_08 1:54:35

Yeah. So I can't wait to be a mom.

SPEAKER_01 1:54:38

You'll kick ass.

SPEAKER_08 1:54:39

I'm so excited.

SPEAKER_01 1:54:40

It's been rad seeing Karen like jump into the role. Really? She's so good.

SPEAKER_07 1:54:46

Yeah. So good. That's awesome. Yeah, it's so cool. I'm so happy for you guys.

SPEAKER_01 1:54:50

She's an awesome little girl. She's she's pretty cool. Yeah. Um, sweet. I have like three things for you that I ask everyone at the end and they're like Oh no.

SPEAKER_02 1:55:01

They're like, quick. I should have listened.

SPEAKER_01 1:55:03

Should have listened, because this would have made it easy this would have made it easier. But no, don't support your friends. Don't buy the manga bars when they order too many. Don't listen to their podcasts.

SPEAKER_06 1:55:13

Okay, I'm gonna go home and do some self-reflecting. As you should.

SPEAKER_01 1:55:17

Thank you. What?

unknown 1:55:22

What?

SPEAKER_01 1:55:24

You're gonna call her? Um. On. Um. Yeah. Yeah. Do you want to come sit and ask Auntie Summer a couple questions?

SPEAKER_00 1:55:34

Come here. Here, come here. We'll go outside after.

SPEAKER_01 1:55:40

Do you want us to come outside afterwards? No. Okay. Okay, that's a lie. Um do you see yourself as a realist, optimist, or pessimist?

SPEAKER_07 1:55:53

Realist.

SPEAKER_01 1:55:54

Okay.

SPEAKER_07 1:55:55

With a little bit of optimism sprinkled in. Okay. I'm definitely not a pessimist.

SPEAKER_01 1:56:00

Yeah, I wouldn't. Yeah, you don't strike me as that. Um guilty pleasure. It can be whatever your heart desires.

SPEAKER_07 1:56:10

Well, right now it's Secret Lives of Mormon Weiss.

SPEAKER_01 1:56:13

Oh my god. It's so good.

SPEAKER_07 1:56:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:56:16

So good. Um what is like what's yours? Um Vanderpump Rules and Taco Bell. Oh, hell yeah. I really like McDonald's. Oh, I do the occasional McDonald's drive-by on my way into work. Yeah. If I like haven't eaten and I'm closing, I'm like, I'll just grab a cheeseburger and a coke.

SPEAKER_07 1:56:40

Yeah, everybody makes me feel like shit for it, but I don't care. Yeah, no. I love chicken nuggets and sweet tea from there. They're so good. So good. I like trashy television.

SPEAKER_01 1:56:53

And I yeah. Yeah. I did not like trashy television, and then when I stopped doing my film career and went to traders, I got obsessed with trash television, and I will no longer watch anything like serious or like artistic. Absolutely not. Can't do it.

SPEAKER_07 1:57:12

Have you watched Secret Lives from Rome Wives? Yes, I have.

SPEAKER_01 1:57:14

We're in season two right now.

SPEAKER_07 1:57:16

Well, the third season just came out. So wait, what? Yes. The new season? There's three seasons? Yes. I think. No, there's two, because we're in the middle of the second one. The first one is What's happening? Is Marciano in it right now? Who's missing? Is that the issue?

SPEAKER_01 1:57:30

Marciano. Okay, I think there's three seasons. I don't know who Marciano is.

SPEAKER_08 1:57:34

Then then you're on season two. Yeah. So there's three.

SPEAKER_01 1:57:38

I'm on season two because the the girl has tried to work her way back into the group because she was part of No, the other one. The other blonde girl that was part of the thing.

SPEAKER_07 1:57:48

Oh, Miranda.

SPEAKER_01 1:57:50

You're on there's three seasons. I don't like that girl. What? Because I think she's in it for the money. Because she saw season one.

SPEAKER_07 1:57:56

She's a liberal.

SPEAKER_01 1:57:58

Oh, don't do this too.

SPEAKER_07 1:58:00

I have to. Her and Layla are like the only ones.

SPEAKER_01 1:58:03

Layla's a liberal? Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_07 1:58:06

Huh.

SPEAKER_01 1:58:07

I wonder how the church feels about that.

SPEAKER_07 1:58:09

They're like not part of the church anymore, I don't think. No, there's no way they can be. I don't I can't believe any of them are. Me neither. It's absurd. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:58:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:58:18

No, you have to hurry up. Okay. Season three is so good. I finished it in like three days.

SPEAKER_01 1:58:25

Okay. Yeah, I mean, I I I'm into it. That was some brain rot. That's where I've been at with the last two years of my life. It's just brain rot. Perfect. Yeah. Doom scroll. Yes, I do that. Way too much. Yeah. Uh okay, last thing. If you could have dinner with three people dead or alive, who are they?

SPEAKER_07 1:58:46

Oh my god. I love this question. Well, obviously my dad.

SPEAKER_08 1:58:57

Um my dad.

SPEAKER_07 1:59:05

Is it bad that I want to say Ruth Bader gets her?

SPEAKER_01 1:59:09

No. That's probably something my wife would say. Karen would say that.

SPEAKER_07 1:59:13

Yeah, maybe her. Or like. Because I want to do like somebody that's died, somebody that's like historically amazing, and then like somebody just like rad. So maybe. Shit, probably Dolly Parton. Oh. Alright. Maybe Steve Irwin.

SPEAKER_01 1:59:41

Ooh, okay. Steve Irwin. That'd be cool.

SPEAKER_07 1:59:45

His son's on this episode of Dancing with the Stars. Oh, is that the first one? Or the season, yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:59:50

How's he doing?

SPEAKER_07 1:59:50

Oh my god, amazing. I love that man.

SPEAKER_02 1:59:55

Is that your celebrity crush?

SPEAKER_07 1:59:57

Yeah, that's my hall pass.

SPEAKER_01 1:59:58

Is it really? Mm-hmm. Okay. Yeah, I guess that's a good question too. Maybe I'll add that hall pass. Who's your hall pass?

SPEAKER_08 2:00:04

It used to be Harry Styles.

SPEAKER_02 2:00:06

Mine?

SPEAKER_08 2:00:08

No, mine!

SPEAKER_06 2:00:13

Really?

SPEAKER_01 2:00:13

I don't know who it would be if I was going that way, but it's not him. That's crazy. And wrong. Might be I think he was on Karen's for a little bit, but she's been a diehard uh Paul Rudd. She she Yeah. Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. And yours? Um her name is Jenny Taft. She's a uh sideline reporter for college football. She works for Fox Sports. That's the most Go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 2:00:46

Irritating thing I've ever heard. Why is that irritating?

SPEAKER_06 2:00:49

Like having a sideline reporter for football is like the most, it's something my husband would say.

SPEAKER_01 2:00:54

So here's the here's the thing though, is I don't watch football. She worked, she was like the pit reporter of Supercross.

SPEAKER_07 2:01:02

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 2:01:03

So that's how I knew her. This is a great story action.

SPEAKER_07 2:01:06

You actually know her in person?

SPEAKER_01 2:01:07

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 2:01:08

Okay, then she can't be your hall pass. Yeah, no, she can. No, she can't. She can't.

SPEAKER_01 2:01:11

We only met once and I stood there really awkwardly.

SPEAKER_07 2:01:13

Oh my lord.

SPEAKER_01 2:01:14

But she knows very she knows who I am. Um, does she? No, she let me tell the story somewhere. This is great. Uh so in 2015, I was in Daytona, Florida for a project, shooting and shooting a race, and I'm waiting for everything to start, and there's like from me to you, there's this chick standing there. And when she came into the sport, I was I didn't think anything of her. It's like she's really good at her job. I can tell she like went to school for this. You cold girl. In uh, I was like, she's not gonna be in this industry very long, she's gonna like go on to bigger and better things. But I didn't like think anything beyond that. And then I'm in Daytona, there's this chick standing next to me, like again from me to you, and she's like talking to herself and like pacing back and forth. I'm like, what the fuck is wrong? Like, who is this chick and what the fuck is wrong? And I like take a look, and it's Jenny Taft, and she's going over her spiel because she's about to go live on TV. And I was like, Oh, okay. Well, I think I text Karen like right away, and I was like, so it turns out I like Jenny Taft. So then eventually, uh her and I, she knew who I was just sort of like following this, like being in the sport and like seeing my work. Yeah. Um, and then one of the writers that I worked with a lot, Christian, his wife Paige, is from Minnesota. Jenny's from Minnesota, and they would see each other at races all the time. And so Paige threw me into the bus tour one time at the airport and said, Hey, do you know Kyle Cowling? And Jenny said, Yeah, I do. I've seen his work, like his stuff's really good. Paige goes, Yeah, he's madly in love with you and wants to madly in love with you and wants to marry you, and I just want you to know that. And she sent Paige sent me that text.

SPEAKER_02 2:03:07

Oh my god. I was like, Thanks, Paige.

SPEAKER_01 2:03:10

That's fake. In uh so then you know the website cameo or you can like it. Yeah, oh no, she gave you a cameo. So Paige, for a few years in a row for my birthday, would get a cameo.

SPEAKER_07 2:03:21

Few years in a row.

SPEAKER_01 2:03:23

So I would get Jimmy Taft cameos for my birthday.

SPEAKER_07 2:03:26

And she knows who you are. She knows who I am. I still stand by the fact that she knows who you are. You can't, she cannot be your hall pass.

unknown 2:03:34

Fuck.

SPEAKER_01 2:03:37

Hmm.

SPEAKER_07 2:03:40

Um, okay. Well, it can be for now. You don't have to change it, but you need to reevaluate that.

SPEAKER_01 2:03:47

Well, I don't want to. I haven't invested in this. She's like number one on my wish list for the podcast, too.

SPEAKER_07 2:03:56

Then she can be your celebrity crush. She can't be your hall pass. Okay, yeah, we'll do the celebrity crush. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 2:04:01

Okay. Hall pass? I don't know. I haven't thought about that. Selena Gomez?

SPEAKER_07 2:04:05

Okay. Like somebody you have absolutely no shot.

SPEAKER_01 2:04:09

Selena Gomez.

SPEAKER_07 2:04:10

Yeah, there you go.

SPEAKER_01 2:04:13

Yeah. She doesn't know I follow her on Instagram, so. Oh, mysterious. Mysterious. Yeah. I don't actually follow her. I almost did, but then I was like, I don't care that much.

SPEAKER_07 2:04:22

She's a married woman now, so.

SPEAKER_01 2:04:23

I know. I am too.

SPEAKER_07 2:04:26

Me too.

SPEAKER_01 2:04:26

Look at us. Thriving.

SPEAKER_07 2:04:28

Crazy. Crazy.

SPEAKER_01 2:04:30

Okay. I think anything else?

SPEAKER_07 2:04:33

No. Thanks for having me. Thanks for doing it. I love that this started as a joke and then got serious. I thought you were serious the whole time.

unknown 2:04:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 2:04:42

A year ago.

SPEAKER_02 2:04:43

It felt pretty serious.

SPEAKER_07 2:04:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:04:46

You've brought it up before since then, too.

SPEAKER_06 2:04:48

Yeah. It was kind of a joke, and then it wasn't. And then I was like, actually, I think that would be fun.

SPEAKER_07 2:04:55

Was it fun? It was so much fun. I've never done this before. You were great. Thank you. You've done better than something. I'm not gonna listen to it. I don't think I can. Oh, that's okay.

SPEAKER_01 2:05:04

That's fine. I don't I listen to them back only like once to like so I'll make like social reels, so like pull sound bites, but then I don't listen to them. I don't like the sound of my own voice. Same, same.

SPEAKER_06 2:05:18

Okay, perfect. You are in great profession.

SPEAKER_01 2:05:20

Because usually when I answer the phone and it's someone on the other line, they think I'm a missus. So really?

SPEAKER_08 2:05:28

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:05:30

Oh boy. Insult injury. Already lack of masculinity.

SPEAKER_07 2:05:36

Well, you like a sideline reporter, so there's some masculinity for you. Thanks. You're welcome. Appreciate it. Uh huh. Anytime. All right.

SPEAKER_01 2:05:42

Well, goodbye.

SPEAKER_02 2:05:43

Bye.