Ep. 27 Discovering Strength in Fragility: A Journey Towards Self-Care, Resilience, and Inner Peace Amidst Adversity

Picture this: I lay in bed, struck down by a bad cold, my mind swirling with fears and doubts. But what if I told you it was in this moment of vulnerability that I discovered the most powerful lessons about self-care, resilience, and inner peace? That's right, join me,  in this illuminating episode of the Smilie Empowerment Podcast where I take you through my journey of discovering strength in fragility.

We'll start by exploring the steps that led me towards self-care, setting priorities, and seeking support during my recovery. As we venture deeper, we'll talk about the art of slowing down, controlling our thought process, and cultivating a peaceful state of mind. I'll share how I found solace in prayer, soft music, and rest. In the final part, together, we'll navigate through the storm of the current crisis and discuss how I've managed to stay motivated, dream big, and further my mission. You’ll experience the vibrant community we've built together on Smilie Empowerment and feel the power of unity and hope. This is more than just a podcast episode; it's an invitation to a journey of personal growth and empowerment amidst adversity. Remember this - It's okay to feel vulnerable, it's okay to take a break, and it's okay to reach out for help. Embrace your fragility, for it is in this fragility that you will discover your true strength. I'm sending you all love and my prayers. - Smilie 

Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and should not substitute for therapy. We recommend you seek help from a trained professional for your specific situation.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:03

Hola Boschica. Welcome to the Smiley Empowerment Podcast. This is where we celebrate the strength, resilience and determination of Latina women and all women who are constantly on the go, pushing through challenges and achieving their goals. I like to call these women Boschica, like me. If you're a busy woman ready to be uplifted, inspired, empowered to take charge of your healing journey and be a Boschica, you've come to the right place. We can all agree, life can be hectic and overwhelming, but anything is possible with the right mindset, attitude, tools and support. Let me introduce myself. My name is Smiley Filomeno Rodriguez and I am a Latina Life Empowerment coach and a social worker. I started this podcast because I know what feeling alone and overwhelmed with past wounds and challenges feel like. I want to help you with self-discovery, self-love and self-empowerment so you can grow and thrive. Do you sometimes feel alone, de siente sola? Well, you're not alone. No está sola. You have me, your coach, smiley.

Speaker 1: 1:20

In each episode, I'll share personal stories of resilience, healing tips, practical advice, strategies for managing your time and priorities for improving your relationship with yourself and others, and insights on cultivating a positive and fulfilling joyful life. So grab your earbuds and tea or coffee, take a deep breath and get ready to be inspired and encouraged. Let's begin this journey together and empower each other to become the best versions of our lives. Let's get started. You got this. We are living in very difficult, difficult times, and I wanted to come on here and share with you some of my learnings in this difficult period of time that we're all living in, and also, I've been sick, and many of you also have experienced the flu or COVID or some type of illness that makes you feel uncomfortable, not well, on top of everything else that's happening globally, and we must not give up and we must have hope. Now I share this with you because I think it's important to talk a little bit about what we're experiencing individually, right, and then how that impact us collectively. My name is Smiley, as you know, and many times people are Smiley Smile, and lately I've noticed that I haven't been smiling a lot because, of course, as we all know, so much is happening. Not that there wasn't a time where nothing was happening around the world that was traumatic and horrific. It's just that now we have more visuals on it and we are also becoming more aware and, as we are battling our own individuals, traumas, possibly, and heartaches, we're not comparing it to anyone else. However, how do we survive as individuals? So then we can also be able to show up in the collectiveness of our society.

Speaker 1: 3:42

And myself, as a social worker and a life coach, a mom, a family person, someone who's very empathetic I have been struggling a bit with myself and I think my immune system has been affected, because I started not feeling well last week and I actually managed to record last week's episode while I was already feeling a little bit not well, but everything got worse the following week, which is the week that just passed up to leading to today. As you hear my voice, please excuse my hoarseness, but I wanted to record this episode with the hope that I can actually bring hope to you if you are struggling as well and if you're not feeling well. So I wanted to share with you in this episode, five lessons that I've learned as I'm healing of this viral cold. Please excuse me if I cough. I'm going to try my best not to, and pause if I do. I'm drinking, sipping some tea. That's very good for my throat, but I wanted to offer you five lessons that this week, throughout my healing process and being bedwritten, and been really having difficulty with my breathing and just not feeling well, coughing and staying up very late as a result of not feeling well. I've had a lot of opportunity to think a lot, so I wanted to share some of my lessons that I think may be helpful for you or someone that you may know.

Speaker 1: 5:23

The first thing I've managed to learn this week, as I'm healing from this cold and also from sadness, that I'm working on my consistent sadness because of everything that's happening in the headlines that we're hearing and just knowing so much suffering as going on, as an empath that really affects me and it affects all of us. We're all made of energy, and energy travels right through distance and time, and we're all experiencing some type of feeling of fear, anger, upsetment, confusion, loneliness, sadness, right, there's so many feelings that are coming up, and when you top that off with having a medical condition, like any type of cold or any type of disease or any type of virus, it makes it even worse on your mental psyche, right, because you're also not feeling well physically. So I've had a lot of time to really work on myself and have been very intentional about that. So if you've been feeling down and out, if you've been feeling sad and on top of it, you're experiencing some type of illness or disease at the same time, whether it's before all of this that's been unfolding around the world, or you just got all of a sudden you woke up and you were not feeling well with the flu. I want you to know that so many of us are going through this and you're definitely not alone, and whatever part of the world that you're listening this episode, I want you to know that I'm sending prayer and healing thoughts because I believe in energy and positive energy.

Speaker 1: 7:07

Not only positive energy, but just the intention of wanting peace for the world and trying to hold on to what is beautiful and what is kind, and that's the human spirit. And the human spirit can be attempted to be broken and at times broken, but we are resilient and we will rise together. But before we do the togetherness, we have to do it individually. I believe in my experience, and that doesn't have to be everyone's experience. So, with that experience that I was just sharing, about rising, not allowing ourselves to be consumed to a point where we become harmful to ourselves and also give way to our bodies to get sick and break down, as my body just got sick, and I truly believe that it has to do with all the stress and everything that I've been experiencing as myself, as a person, not comparing it to anyone, not comparing it to the horrendous acts that are happening around the world and the violence. However, understanding that, as an individual, I too right suffer in silence At times. I too feel my body does react to the negativity and to the high levels of stress that you have higher levels of cortisol, cortisol in your body and your body starts just shutting down and just becoming ill, and that's what happened to me.

Speaker 1: 8:44

So I wanted to share with you guys how I've been coping and I've had a lot of support. I've had friends and family checking in on me. I haven't been speaking a lot because I've been trying to rest my my vocals and I've noticed people are checking in on me and that has felt good. But I've also noticed that everyone is very stressed and everyone has a limit of availability and bandwidth to deal with each other, because we're on high alert, high stress, so it becomes more and more difficult to be there for others, even if that's the intention that you have right in your heart. So please know that if folks are not reaching out to you as frequently or you have not been able to reach out to others as frequently. Give yourself grace. Give them grace as well, and that's what I've been doing as well.

Speaker 1: 9:43

But one of the first lessons that I can share with you that came up for me in this last week I would say that I've been so sick is the importance of managing my mind. I noticed that my mind has been going through so much, so many thoughts, a lot of negative thoughts, a lot of fearful thoughts, right, and feelings that have been coming up, and judgment, and so much coming up, even thoughts of like, wow, why am I sick? I have to. I have so much responsibilities that I have pertaining to my job and smiley empowerment, my business. So I had to really work on managing my mind.

Speaker 1: 10:26

And three things that I've been doing to manage my mind and I hope that this really helps you is one I've been practicing more and more to be more compassionate with myself. So I've been really practicing to stay more present in the present moment and to be more aware of my thoughts that are coming up and trying my best not to judge my own feelings right. So it's important to acknowledge that there's some difficulty. So I've been acknowledging to my husband, to close people in my circle that, hey, I'm not feeling well, not only physically, but also I've been feeling very sad with everything that's happening and I'm not feeling well and it's a bit overwhelming for me and I've been able to admit that to my hubby, my husband, right, and just say I'm having difficulty and that in itself has helped me, right, just embracing that I'm not a superhero. I also feel. So I've been practicing more to have compassion and to be more mindful of me, staying present and not going backwards or going to a head into the future.

Speaker 1: 11:40

The other practice that I have been doing, within that first lesson in being, in managing my mind, I've been practicing my positive, healthy self-talk and it's really hard at times but I've had to challenge my negative thoughts right and really look at them and see how unrealistic those negative thoughts are and kind of reframing them into a more realistic right in a more realistic thought. And sometimes I may have felt, during this time of being sick, felt like I can't handle this right, all this stuff that's happening around the world, my job, my business, all the different things. I'm not feeling well, I can't handle this, and I've had to tell myself wait a minute, wait, wait, wait. You've handled other things before. So I've had to tell myself literally that I have handled and overcome so many other challenges and that I will find a way to get through this, just as I have found the way before.

Speaker 1: 12:43

So in reframing those that thought like that, it helps me to stay more grounded and focused and not to go into panic. Right, because easily we can, and understandably so what we're living these days, we can, as individuals, go into panic, but I've worked with my mind and my self talk to be like wait a minute, some of these difficulties I have overcome, like feeling sick and going through a cold but feeling really run down, that's happened before. Okay, what have you done to alleviate it? Right, you go to get medical attention, you get medicine, you practice, you know, eating a little healthier, maybe some teas, you see. So telling my mind hey, I've been here before, I can get through this. So that's within the first lesson. That's the second thing that I've been doing in managing my mindset. The third thing that I've been doing in managing my mindset is really staying connected to those that are beneficial for my mental health and my spirit, right, so I've been in contact with my mom. I've been in contact with some family members. I've been in contact with my bestie right and close friends.

Speaker 1: 14:06

At different times during this week that I've been not feeling well. A lot of the contact has been text via text, due to now I have a voice, but a few days ago, poof, I really didn't have much of a voice, but I still managed to find a way to connect right and it's keeping it simple. I chose to keep it simple. I really didn't go too much into all of the thoughts that I was having at the time with my close friends right, but I did manage to stay connected during this time so I can feel their support and also guess what. I can ask them how are they doing?

Speaker 1: 14:44

Because sometimes, when we're going through something, when you reach out to someone and you're able to and see how they're doing and if they're sharing commonalities with you, sometimes you both can lean on each other and it's helpful. You may share tips on hey, this is what has worked. This remedy worked for me when I was sick and you could exchange remedies. You can exchange music, be playlist or music that you both enjoy. You could enjoy a show together. It's just connecting. It doesn't always have to be that you go into everything that you're thinking and you're feeling, but it's important to stay connected. There's nothing also wrong with sharing with what you're feeling with someone that's ready and able to take in that information Because, remember, other people may be going through things.

Speaker 1: 15:32

So, checking in hey, I'm feeling kind of heavy today. I have a lot on my mind. What's going on with you? Are you able to chat with me about this? Are you in a better place? Or following up with you? Because sometimes our friends may say, hey, today I'm not able to unpack all of that with you because so-and-so forth. Right, some people. Just recently somebody passed in their family and they let you know and you didn't know that person is grieving. They may not have the bandwidth to now listen to some of the things that you're going through, not minimizing it, but understanding that they're overwhelmed as well. So just checking in with folks, because sometimes folks will be like, hey, I'm not able to be there for you at the time. So the mindset is so important, because what we focus on will continue to appear, it will continue to grow. So I learned that I really have to check in with my mindset and that it's important to really manage my mind.

Speaker 1: 16:29

Number two the second lesson that I can speak about is how I found my peace right. I realized that I was feeling not as peaceful due to everything that's happening. There's a lot of exterior things that are happening right that have me very concerned and anxious right. So I had to really work on finding that peace again while I was sick and I'm still a little bit sick, but in the trenches of it. Last week, I would say, or two or three days ago, I really had very difficult, difficult evenings with this cold and it just was very, very hard. I thought I had to go to the hospital. Thankfully I didn't and I got better.

Speaker 1: 17:16

But I had to find my peace and what I practiced was really staying still and allowing myself to let go a little bit of the angst that I was feeling, and part of that was just me praying, and a lot of that was me praying. I'm a very spiritual person and I'm not saying that anyone has to practice the same religions or spirituality as me, but I'm sharing what has helped me and just speaking to my Creator right, just letting go some of these feelings and surrendering right and asking that prayer that I always do the serenity prayer. Right, because there are things I cannot change and I have no control. But I really focus on asking the higher power, god, the universe, to really help me to surrender. Right, because there's certain things that are out of my control, out of your control, and while you're feeling sick or you're feeling overwhelmed and anxious, the more you fixate on trying to resolve something that you have no power at all in resolving. That's very hard on your body, on your psychic, on your spirit. That's really hard on you and it was very hard on me. So I had to really find my peace again by consistently doing the prayer. I did more prayers this week than other days because I pray daily, but I'm talking about multiple times and just really surrendering and even speaking out my heart out in the prayer, just saying how I felt and releasing that right, and then praying for peace and praying for the world, praying for everyone, right, and for peace to come upon our world, among ourselves, right, just putting that prayer out. That gave me a form of peace. I also practice meditation, staying still, listening to soft music. Listening to soft music also calmed me, it soothed me. So it's finding what soothes you right when it's something that soothes you and it's not harmful to you, that you don't create some type of dependency but in an unhealthy way. So it's just finding what is good for you.

Speaker 1: 19:44

And in the third lesson was I had to learn that it was okay to slow down. I had to learn this week, really work on myself, releasing myself from the guilt of not being able to get out of bed, not being able to do certain things that I usually would do, not being able to maybe record Like. I noticed that last week I had to cancel my live recording that I do the masterclass teaching on Instagram. I had to cancel it and I felt so guilty and that's just part of me and also I missed it. It's not just guilt because I may think people are going to judge me and think that I'm not consistent. I'm not at all because I've been consistent doing that live for over two years but it's really myself understanding that I have to slow down. My body was telling me, hey, you're sick and you have to slow down, but my mind was like still with all the thoughts of what I wanted to do and also the enjoyment that I get and the fulfillment that I get of being able to help other people engaging in conversations during the live, right. I enjoy that. So while you're sick, you may have to pause on things that you enjoy and that doesn't feel comfortable. So I had to learn that it's okay to slow down, it's okay to do things differently.

Speaker 1: 21:07

I also had to learn in this lesson that I noticed was really refraining from watching the news and reading the news. Now, back then when there was the pandemic, when we had the pandemic at the beginning and there was always updates in the news, I noticed that I started getting anxiety and more panic attacks. So I had to go from watching the news to reading the news right, and then what I would do is read articles, updates on the news, on what was happening with the pandemic, and I noticed that that was helpful for me to change from watching it to reading it right. But what I've noticed this time around, that through the years that have changed now that doesn't work for me. So you have to see what works for you.

Speaker 1: 21:56

So I'm learning that I cannot for now, at this time, watch or read the news with frequency. Why? Because I have a good imagination. I'm very visual, so when I read words that's like books or anything like that. I've always been that kid that I can envision what the words are saying. I can visualize the scene. So what's happened is that now, with the news, if I don't watch it right, I feel more relaxed a bit. But what happens? I read it because I wanna still stay informed. However, my imagination takes over and now, all of a sudden, it plays in my mind as if I was watching it right.

Speaker 1: 22:41

So what I've had to do in recent times is take a pause from watching or reading the news, and then what I tell my husband is that update me on anything that you feel that I should know, right, that maybe I, you know a change, some sort of change that I should know. You can let me know. But for the most part, recently I've had to pause on the news period because the cold that I have has also triggered my asthma, so I have to take care of myself. So that's something I want you to practice is really knowing when you have to take a step back from something and understand that it's not that you don't care, it's not that you don't wanna be informed, but you have to really assess where are you physically, mentally, how are you doing and if you're someone who's not feeling well, has been sick or just even been very down and out, very sad, depressed, you have to be careful. What you're listening to, what you're watching, who are you spending time with all of that? Because that does impact you. I had to learn to disconnect completely from the news, completely for the short time, just until I heal better from this cold and my asthma. So it's important for you to realize what do you need to let go of in order to heal and feel better. That's up to you, but really pay attention to that.

Speaker 1: 24:13

Lesson number four was that I wanted to take this time to evaluate my friendships and my support system. So I've been able to really look at, while I've been down and out and we're already going into close to finishing the year I've spoken about this before, about evaluating the friendships you're keeping, the relationships you're keeping and your support system. So not feeling well and being down and out I've been able to have some time to reflect for myself. I've been able to journal a bit and just take an inventory of my friendships and my support system and I've been able to really see where the friendships are for me in my perspective. Right. That's missing the conversation with the other person. But for the meanwhile I'm able to just assess what are my needs in the friendship. Where am I in the friendships Now? I have a good support system and I have all my friendships are in good standing at this moment. But I was able to review that so I can really feel at ease that as I'm coming out of healing of this cold right and then I get back into my rhythm who's there right and who has been there?

Speaker 1: 25:32

So I took the time to really look at the impact that my friendships have upon me Right. Are they positive, are they helpful, are they resourceful? Are these relationships not just fun on the surface level, but are they deep? If that is meaningful for you, I know it's meaningful for me. So, taking inventory, for some people they're not in a place right now that they need deep relationships of deep friendships. But if you're like me, that you find that you do need deep friendships, you can analyze okay, where are my friendships at? And if you're a person that you don't have many friends or are making new friends in the time that you're not feeling well, you can still reach out to a friend, even if it's a new friendship and just say hey, how are you? Just checking in? I've been MIA for a few days because I haven't been feeling well and keep it simple, but at the same time, you're keeping it real. So that's something that I've been managing.

Speaker 1: 26:27

And, lastly, the fifth lesson that I've been learning through being not well is that it's okay to still work on my dreams and vision, and this one is a big one. I think this one has been the most challenging one so far during my time of being sick and even during this whole time, with things that are happening all over the globe that are sad and devastating and horrific, is how do you dream when you're in that energy? And what I mean, even if you're not at that place, we're tapening, but collectively, we're feeling the intensity. We're feeling the intensity collectively, and how do you continue to dream and aspire for the future and work on your vision and your dreams? I've been lately thinking about that because I have found myself struggling to do certain projects. Or even if I didn't get out of bed because I couldn't at the time but sitting in my bed I was working through some of my projects, the goals, looking at what I need to do next, and I struggled to do that because I felt very sad and I felt a bit of for what? Because everything feels so dark. It's like we're in a storm right now and it's so hard to see that light, like they say, the light at the end of the tunnel, which is always there, the light at the end of the tunnel, but it's so hard sometimes to see and sometimes it's really covered with so much darkness, and I believe that that's where I feel, that that's how I'm processing all of this. So I had to step back and I actually really did.

Speaker 1: 28:01

Most of that work has been in the last two days really thinking about okay, so much is out of my control, what can I still do for myself? So there are things and thoughts that I've had and how I can help collectively and things like that. But when it comes to myself and my own household, how can I continue to be motivated and have some type of optimism about my own future and on things that I am presently working on and need to continue to put energy and effort? But I feel so overwhelmed and so sad and everything feels very gloomy, it feels horrendous. There's so much confusion, anger, it's just a lot of different emotions that are coming and that we're trying to process, and they're coming at us so fast, with so many things to process, that it's very challenging. That's why it's important to ground yourself and be in the present moment and try to detach a bit from the news so you can catch your own self and be able to level your head a bit as much as you can, because it's not going to be done perfectly.

Speaker 1: 29:23

The fifth lesson really entailed for me to look at what my dreams are, my visions, what are my projects, what am I working on and even though I didn't unpack them all, because I really I'm going to tell you I struggled because I don't feel well and everything that's happening but I was able to at least recognize that I had this struggle and I was also able to recognize that it's okay to still have dreams and visions despite the circumstances that we're living as humans, globally and everywhere. There's so much situations that are happening that are horrific in humanity and I had to come to terms and say, okay, but I have to focus. Some of my focus has to be in what I need to do for myself and also not losing hope that things will get better and that we will rise above this and that, while we're rising above it, I can still keep my dreams alive and do my best to continue to work on my mission that it's to elevate, inspire, help, guide other people, especially women. So that's why I'm like I still want to do my podcast, I still want to do my masterclasses, I still want to work on my projects and I had to really think about my why. Why do I want to do this?

Speaker 1: 30:48

But it was very challenging and it still is, because at the same time, when you think about what's happening in the world, it really deflates you. You really feel like, what are we doing? So I had to really ground myself and get back to my why and to get back to that it's okay for me to still dream. It's not. I'm not guilty of anything wrong. Right, it's not a wrongdoing to still believe in my dreams and have aspirations for the future, even though that the present moment is so distorted.

Speaker 1: 31:21

It's so difficult for so many, so many people and for all of us. Difficult time, and I can't imagine for those that are experiencing it. I'm just 10 and I really been praying and with all my heart really feeling so heartbroken but at the same time trying my best to continue to believe in humanity and continue to believe that better days will come maybe not in the moment, but they will. And that's something that I'm holding on to and I hope that you can as well. And I hope that today you find peace within yourself. Even though the world is chaotic right now. I hope that you find peace wherever you are at and that you can hold on to that and continue to visualize and think about a brighter day ahead at some point and know that you're not alone and that we all are going through this difficult time and it's hard to process everything and I don't have all the answers and you don't have all the answers but together we can come together to overcome this time that the world is experiencing, that we're experiencing as humans. So I hope that this episode bring you a bit of comfort and bring you some tips that can help you in your journey, in your healing journey. It doesn't matter if you're healing from a physical illness or you're healing from a spiritual. It's just knowing that you can see better days ahead, whether those days are not close right now and you see them far and a distance, but hold that dear to your heart that things will get better and I hope that, wherever you're at, that you find peace and that you're protected and that each day will bring something to be grateful for and doing our best to do what we can do as humans to help one another and to lift one another up. So I hope that this helped.

Speaker 1: 33:26

I did this episode with great love and intention while I'm sick, but I wanted to keep it real. I've said to many of you my listeners, my boss, chicas, my fellow listeners that I'm always going to keep it real and transparent and I didn't want to fluff this up and I really wanted you to know and hear me as I am and I am doing better. I want to thank everyone that has reached out to me in some form or even in their thought, wishing me well. I really appreciate every single one of you, everyone that's supporting my podcast. I want to say thank you. I know I have listeners in India, in Africa, in Europe. I'm just amazed when I was looking at the statistics of where folks are tuning in and downloading my podcast and listening and I'm blown away by that. Thank you so much.

Speaker 1: 34:21

Never thought that somebody would be listening to me internationally, but I really want you to know that I appreciate you and that Smiley Empowerment is a vibrant, thriving community and it's made up of humans. I know that my boss, chicas, especially my women their fears and their there, but it's the power of the human being and I'm so grateful that within my community we're growing and I just want you to know that I appreciate you. I appreciate the prayers, I appreciate all the good thoughts and good wishes for my health, for my family and for my prosperity in Smiley Empowerment community. I know that many of you are wishing me well. I've spoken about me wanting to write a book and so many people are like I could see that and just giving me energy towards my dreams and visions. I really appreciate that, so I wanted to thank you for that.

Speaker 1: 35:18

I hope you have a great week. I know that it's difficult, but together we can rise and always know that we're here for each other. You know how to reach me it's in the show notes. You can continue listening to different episodes of the podcast and also catch me on the master class live on Thursdays at 7 pm Eastern time, and just continue to feed your mind things that help you in your personal growth, in your professional growth in your spirituality. Be very mindful what you're listening to, be mindful of what you're taking in, so continue to take care of yourself and of each other Until next time. This is your Coach Smiley signing out. I wish you well, bye.