Ep. 39 Radiant Connections: A Warm Journey to Wellness Through 7 Meaningful Relationships

Discover how to cultivate a thriving garden of human connections as this episode guides you through the importance of enriching your family ties and engaging with your community. We travel through the metaphorical landscape of relationships, identifying actionable ways to nurture the familial bonds that ground us and the communal ties that give us a sense of place in the wider world. From the power of shared experiences to the art of open communication, I'll provide the tools to ensure the flowers in your garden of life blossom to their fullest potential.

As we navigate reciprocal relationships, I'll share the secret to striking the perfect balance between giving and receiving and the benefits of self-compassion and personal growth. Learn how to tap into your brain's reward system through volunteerism and why finding communities that resonate with your core values is crucial. By the end of our time together, you'll walk away with a newfound appreciation for the relationships that shape your world and the insight to foster connections that survive and thrive. Join me, your Coach Smilie, as we uncover the roots of relational joy and the psychological rewards of a balanced life. Besitos.

Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and should not substitute for therapy. We recommend you seek help from a trained professional for your specific situation.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:05

Hola Boschica. Welcome to the Smiley Empowerment Podcast. This is where we celebrate the strength, resilience and determination of Latina women and all women who are constantly on the go, pushing through challenges and achieving their goals. I like to call these women Boschica, like me. If you're a busy woman ready to be uplifted, inspired, empowered to take charge of your healing journey and be a Boschica, you've come to the right place. We can all agree, life can be hectic and overwhelming, but anything is possible with the right mindset, attitude, tools and support. Let me introduce myself. My name is Smiley Filomenos Rodriguez and I am a Latina Life Empowerment Coach and a social worker.

Speaker 1: 0:53

I started this podcast because I know what feeling alone and overwhelmed with past wounds and challenges feel like. I want to help you with self-discovery, self-love and self-empowerment so you can grow and thrive. Do you sometimes feel alone? De siento sola? Well, you're not alone. No está sola. You have me, your coach, smiley. In each episode, I'll share personal stories of resilience, healing tips, practical advice, strategies for managing your time and priorities for improving your relationship with yourself and others, and insights on cultivating a positive and fulfilling joyful life. So grab your earbuds and tea or coffee, take a deep breath and get ready to be inspired and encouraged. Let's begin this journey together and empower each other to become the best versions of our lives. Let's get started. You got this.

Speaker 2: 2:08

Hi me both cheek. I'm my fellow listeners. I am so happy that you tuned in again with Smiley Empowerment here in our podcast. I'm so happy that you're here Reflecting on your relationships. I want you to, for this moment, reflect on your relationships. Have you experienced a pivotal moment where you realize the depth of the reciprocity, or maybe the lack of right in your relationships? How did you feel? What lessons did it bring up for you?

Speaker 2: 2:46

I want you to imagine a garden of relationships, right, your garden of life. There's different flowers, right, and they each represent relationships. So those are seeds that you've implanted in your garden and I want you to notice that, while you're tending to certain connections, which those are the seeds that you've implanted, and they've blossomed right into a mutual growth of give and take. And then I want you to notice when you are neglecting others and that in your garden leads to a natural withering. I want you to imagine that and we all have our garden of life right, and we all have our priorities and sometimes we neglect relationships that have given us so much, and there's different reasons for that. But I want you to take this time to just reflect. It's not about blaming or feeling guilty, it's more to have a reflection. That's why I said imagine your life as a garden, right? Maybe you have some weeds in that garden, maybe you have some dead flowers that you need to pull out or that you may need to restore and that they're capable still of some type of right restoring and nurturing.

Speaker 2: 4:19

Again back to health. I have a suggestion to improve your health and your overall well being by focusing on seven important relationships, and this is backed up by scientists and researchers, right, and neuroscientists. There's seven relationships that I want you to focus on and embark on a journey towards wellness. Right, with radiant connections. Doesn't that feel good, even when I say it Radiant connections, right? I want you with me today to have a heartwarming exploration of these seven meaningful relationships that I know that will inspire you and uplift you. So who's ready? Who's ready to discover the power of human connection and its transformative impact on your life? Are you ready? Because I want to take you down this road with the intention that I just mentioned to improve your life towards wellness. So these seven relationships are very important and scientists and and neuroscientists have shared. What are these relationships and how can you explore making these relationships better and ultimately, it impacts your life in such a positive way for both you and the other person or individuals, so let's get right into it. Let's get right into it.

Speaker 2: 6:05

So the first, the first relationship is family relationships. How beautiful is that? And you may have your family that's by blood, as well as friendships that have turned into family. Your pets, right, can be your family as well, and research shows that having a strong family, having strong family ties, can lead to greater happiness, more fulfillment, emotional support and improved physical health. So if you are right now examining and reflecting on your family relationships, here's some valuable tips that I hope that can help you to strengthen your family relationships. So, to strengthen those family relationships, it's important to strengthen the emotional bonds that you have within your family and that you can do with regularly checking in, engaging in positive interactions within your family unit right, and you can do activities together and have open communication, as well as expressing your gratitude and showing empathy. It really can positively impact your brain. Expressing gratitude and showing empathy can positively impact brain chemistry and strengthening those relationships within your family. How great is that.

Speaker 2: 7:37

So work on your family relationships. It's so important. You're seeing here what researchers have shown and even what you feel you may notice other families, right, and it's not to compare but to kind of reflect. You notice other family groups that you may love the way they engage together and of course, that's each individual, right, is responsible for the energy that they bring and the enthusiasm and the emotional support that they provide for each other, and not everybody within your family. An extended family can be that for you. However, we want to focus right in your garden of life, in you, improving these relationships if they are not toxic and not harmful to you, right. But if you are now thinking, you know what I want to improve these relationships because this gives you quality of life. In these seven relationships really come together to give you the life experience, right, because we're not on this planet just to experience ourselves and maybe just one other person. There's so much in connections, okay.

Speaker 2: 8:47

Now the second relationship. Interestingly enough, I had mentioned before that friendships, friends, can become family. But the second relationship is friendships, and don't sleep on friendships, right, they're very significant and there's so much benefit in having friends, right. Friends are important for our mental health, our emotional health, as it keeps us, you know, grounded, it helps us to deal with stress and provides us a greater sense of belonging and support, right? So spending quality time with your friends can release oxytoxin, and that's the hormone that helps us to bond. And when you foster friendships and remain present, actively, listening and enjoying yourself in activities that you and the other person enjoy, those activities, that strengthens the bonds of the friendship, okay.

Speaker 2: 9:49

So pay close attention, examine how are you showing up for your friends, examine how are they showing up for you, because, remember, it's a two-way right, it's a two-way street and it's the give and take right that keeps a nice balance. And sometimes we might be a little off right, which that's okay. I know there's times through my trajectory with my friendships where I've been, let's say, going through something and have isolated a bit or taken a break of going out, whether that's financial, because of finances, or that's because I've been sad or grieving, mourning, right. So just don't be hard on yourself and don't be hard on your friend as well. So have grace for yourself as well as for your friends, right, for your those friendships and there's different levels of friendships right, you have close friends, you have work friends, you have best friends. Right, you have a close buddy. So it's important to just examine a little bit about how you are showing up in those friendships and how are they reciprocating back to you, the quality of the friendships that you're putting out.

Speaker 2: 10:57

Now, the third relationship that I encourage you to focus on as well is the romantic relationships. Right, romantic relationships play a significant part in our life as well, and there's a lot of benefits to having a romantic relationship relationship right, so a healthy romantic relationships are linked to higher life satisfaction. Studies have shown that having a healthy romantic relationship reduces stress. It improves your mental health. So some neuroscience tips that I was looking at are very impactful to our romantic relationships. And that's the physical touch right, like hugging or holding hands. That also releases oxytoxin. Remember that I mentioned before that hormone that plays into, increases our bonding and build stronger connections. Right, so the brain releases that when we are in these healthy romantic relationships and we're consistent with communication right, that's how you can foster better romantic relationships and improve them.

Speaker 2: 12:10

Expressing gratitude to your partner right To your romantic partner, and also addressing conflicts pretty quickly with empathy. That also helps to contribute in the longevity of the romantic relationship. And also on the quality right On the quality of the relationship, maintaining a healthy relationship. Now, that doesn't mean that you're not going to have arguments, that you're not going to have possibly disagreements, but addressing those conflicts with empathy, right For each other, will help in you maintaining that relationship. And, of course, sometimes you may, through trial and error of different things that occur in the relationship, whether you've exhausted other tools like therapy, counseling, reaching out to trusted friends that maybe help you to get better in the relationship. Sometimes you speak to a friend that's been in a healthy relationship for very long and you trust this person and you get pointers from people that are successful, that you can see that they are successful and always know that what works for them may not work for you. So I always encourage folks if they're having trouble in their relationships to seek professional help if possible, but definitely having the consistent communication and knowing that everybody has a different love language, right. So getting to know, like, what is your partner's love language, right. Getting to know what's your love language maybe physical touch and hugging is not something that you are so comfortable with, but there are other ways right. And then expressing your needs within that relationship. The romantic relationships. That is great. So let's go further along.

Speaker 2: 14:01

This relationship number four, it's also a relationship that has positivity in your life. It can be very impactful, and that is your professional relationships. Studies have shown that there's a lot of benefit when you are working in a positive work environment, right? Positive workplace relationships improve your job satisfaction. So you might be going to work and saying, oh my God, I dread going there or it's so stressful. But when you have one or two people, let's just say, in the workspace, or other professionals and you have a relationship, you create that rapport and connection. It feels better and it improves job satisfaction. Researchers have shown that it improves also the productivity in the workplace. It improves also the career success. So, collaborating with projects within your team, right, it really stimulates your brain's reward system and that is super, because when our brain's reward system is activated it releases dopamine, right, that's that feel good hormone.

Speaker 2: 15:17

So cultivating professional relationships you can do this by participating in team activities in your workplace. It's also by recognizing achievements and supporting your colleagues, right? So if a colleague of yours did a great job or got a promotion, you know, don't look away, don't minimize that. Recognize your colleagues achievement. You may even tell your colleague you know what next lunch is on me, because you just got promoted or you did such a great presentation, why don't we go out and celebrate your great presentation? And when you cultivate that right, that level of professional relationships at work, it really cultivates that environment and it creates this job satisfaction for yourself. You feel more connected, you increase your productivity.

Speaker 2: 16:09

I'm going to give this suggestion Don't wait for your managers, upper management or your supervisors or different people in your professional team to establish this for you. Sometimes it's not established. You might go into a job setting or department where you're like, wow, there's not a lot of positive professional relationships because everybody's to themselves. But you know what? See, if you can start it, right, it could start with you connecting with one another person and next thing, you know it goes across. And if you are a manager, a director, a supervisor, a boss, right, think about that also. What are your professional relationships and how do you trickle that down to your team, right? So that's very important. And now let's I want you to shift now a little bit and think about this fifth relationship that can be very helpful to you as well in your overall well-being and also for you as a human being, and that's community connections. That is so important being part of a community. That's why I am so proud that you are here and if it's your first time listening in, I hope that you continue to listen in and that you connect with me and our amazing community, the Smiley Empowerment community my boss, chica's right.

Speaker 2: 17:40

It's important to be part of a community or a social group that correlates and connects to your purpose, that aligns with your purpose, your inner joy, your happiness, and that you cultivate that within a community. So, according to neuroscience, volunteering is a big way that you can participate in community events, right, and get connected to a community. In community events, you can again activate the brain's reward system, right, and that part of the brain is so impactful to your overall well-being because, once again, you'll get more release of dopamine good feeling hormone. You feel proud of yourself, you feel connected, you feel part of something, you feel like you belong and we all want to belong as human beings, right. So, getting part of a community whether it's an online community, offline community, a social group, online or off social media you really can enhance those connections. And I am so glad that you are part of the Smiley and Parhaman community as well as other communities, because I'm part of other communities that align with my morals, with my values, with my sense of happiness, so you can join local events in your community or even outside of your community.

Speaker 2: 19:06

You don't have to stay within your community. I've had folks tell me, smiley around my community, there's not much to do, or there's a big age difference or culturally is not aligned with what I would want, right, or I want more diversity. So look around. Right, maybe you have to go across the city to go somewhere else, or you may have to you know, not have to but you may want to explore online communities or communities that are a bit different to what you're accustomed. But you're curious to learn new cultures. Right, so you can go dining. Right, you could join clubs. You can join or even yourself create activities that will contribute to shared goals with other individuals, whether you created or they're very well established and you want to join. So be part of communities.

Speaker 2: 20:03

Right, and you know, as we say, many people say social media is not a good place and things like that. You know, I beg to differ. Right, everything the way you use it. It's how you use the tools, how you comport yourself in these communities, whether on social media or off social media, in your local communities, in other communities right, having respect for one another, having the ability to have empathy and have the ability to have compassion and have the ability of tolerance right, not of disrespect, but of understanding that people may have a different perspective, a different belief, and for you to respect their. You know, respect the differences right and come together on the things that you do share in common. And one big thing is that we're human. We are all here having a human experience, so we are more alike than different. We have so much more that we have in common, but if we allow ourselves to actively listen to one another and really get out of some of the indifferences, some of the things that we don't share in.

Speaker 2: 21:13

And, of course, you want to be with like-minded individuals, but I also like sometimes to learn from other people that are not so close to what you know. Sometimes you can do that respectfully right. But of course, if you want to live a more purposeful life, you examine what are the qualities that you appreciate in other communities, what are the qualities that you appreciate right In the activities that you may do with other communities, and the more you do things that you enjoy. Also, I don't want you to do things that you dread, that you feel guilty, that you feel pressured. That's not good, right, that's not conducive for you to feel the love of the community when you may be within a community that you are feeling forced, right, so by no means force yourself. But I say, do some exploration, see what you like and explore some new things too.

Speaker 2: 22:07

There's a great impact on our brain when we do things that are different and a little bit more challenging, and that they are different to what we used to do and we learned something new, whether it's a new skill set or whether it's a new activity, right, that we're doing that really helps our brain. Keep our brain healthy and have our brain really be ding, ding, ding. Have our brain in the reward system. Really go at it and drop some dopamine for us and drop also some oxytoxin, right Hormone for us to bond and to feel good. Right, learn more about your brain health. That's so important, okay.

Speaker 2: 22:48

So we're getting close to now the end of the seven relationships that I encourage you to work on, to strengthen, to look and examine, right as you're examining your life, your garden of life, what are the seeds that you've planted and what's blossoming, what are you encouraging, what are you nurturing for yourself? We get to one of the biggest one, if not the most significant, and that is the relationship to oneself. Yes, and some may say, oh, we should have. We should have talked about this at the beginning, but I actually wanted to leave these last two for last, because I really wanted you to pay very close attention to these last two relationships because, in my opinion, they're most significant. Right, but you place significance on any of these relationships that are a priority to you. You place that significance to it. Now, number six is relationship to oneself.

Speaker 2: 23:51

Like I said, and researchers have shown, there's great benefits in us having and developing a strong, positive relationship with oneself. It can increase our self-esteem, our resilience and better mental health well-being. That's powerful. Neuroscience research suggests that practicing self-compassion and engaging in self-care activities, such as meditation and self-reflection, can positively impact the brain. Setting and achieving personal goals can also attribute to a healthy self-relationship. So this is so amazing. You are your most important tool yourself and when you are working on your purpose, on answering why am I here? What do I want to do in this journey of my human experience while I am here? Right, what do you want to achieve? What are those personal goals. I know many of you are still exploring that. Some of you have done vision boards and digital vision planning and lists, or just been thinking about goals, right? Because at the time that I'm recording this is January. Right Towards the end of January, understand that your personal goals are important and that they have a significant contribution to how healthy you are as an individual. It impacts every aspect of your life.

Speaker 2: 25:31

So pay more attention to the way that you are speaking to yourself, to the way that you are having dialogue with yourself, about yourself, when you are talking to others about yourself, right, I was one that I used to make jokes at my own expense, and that is not cool, right? Making jokes that are not really elevating yourself, it's not cool. So be mindful of that. Be respectful of yourself. Have self-worth, practice self-compassion, right, and you know there's activities for self-care that are so impactful to your brain like the meditation, reading self-help books or reading books that you find enjoyment, so it can really make you feel good. You don't have to always read things that are not aligned with what your interests are just to please someone else. So do self-care activities. Maybe it's taking that bubble bath, right? Maybe it's going out for a run, for a walk. Maybe it's just you simply sitting with your thoughts, with a nice aromatic candle that you enjoy. Maybe it's listening to your favorite songs from years ago that maybe that are connected not to sad moments, but connected to moments that you felt at your best, that are connected to great memories that you're just having sweet remembrance. Music has such an impact on us as well.

Speaker 2: 27:16

And coming to number seven, all of these relationships, including our relationship to ourselves, right, you can take your time to explore where you're at with each of these relationships and what do you want to improve in your garden of life? Right? Number seven spiritual relationship with your higher being, god, as I call it. You may have a different name for it. There's benefits in having a spiritual connection. Many people find having a spiritual relationship with a higher being, or with God or the universe, however you call it right that it's significant, and researchers have shown that this type of connection is associated with a sense of purpose, inner peace and our emotional resilience. So engaging in spiritual practices such as prayer and or meditation that can positively affect the structure and function of the brain and I was so blown away by that Connecting with a higher being may contribute to feelings of comfort and support. Therefore, it's important to prioritize your spiritual health and well-being and that's something that, to each person, that could be different.

Speaker 2: 28:42

Right, and for some individuals, this aspect of spiritual relationship with a higher being, with God, with the universe, with nature right, you give it its place and value for yourself. I am introducing this. For some of you, it might be a concept that you're like I'm not too sure that I believe in God, or I'm not too sure I believe in a higher being. Right, that is fine. However, I am presenting this with the notion that you would be open to explore, right, and if any of these seven relationships you feel that there are a few that you're like, you know something I'm good. I'm good with my friendships, I'm good with my relationship to myself, right, but you know what I need to look in a little closer to my romantic relationship. Or you know what I think? That, besides my romantic relationship, I want to explore and strengthen a bit more my community engagement, whether that's in my local community with events, whether that's volunteering at a pantry, whether that's joining some social groups that are going to elevate me, that are going to make me feel better in 2024 or at any point in my life? Right, that's something that is up to you.

Speaker 2: 30:05

If you want to do that, these are seven relationships that are very significant, right, in your overall well-being. And at the center of it all, or on the top of it all, it's expressing that gratitude right. When you express gratitude regularly, it activates also the reward center in the brain and fosters so much positive feelings, right, so stay present and mindful of your present interactions and look at what are the relationships that you need to improve so you can have quality within your relationships and do your best to put away distractions and I'm one that I'm constantly working on that because I multitask so much but put effort in putting away distractions so you can be more present and you can have your relationships, feel that you are paying attention to them and that they have your full attention. And some last takeaways practice on active listening right, so you can build that trust and strengthen those connections in these relationships that I just mentioned. Right, so try your best to get into conversations with a genuine interest and focus on the person who's speaking and build some trust and consistency right, because there's nothing greater than having consistency and to foster these positive interactions with people that we care about, with people that we love, right? So building those relationships, nourishing them and building that trust is important. But to develop that, you need to be reliable. Right, to develop the trust, you need to be reliable, you need to be consistent and vice versa, the person has to be reliable and consistent. So in that partnership, in those relationships, you can really foster trust and have those positive interactions, those loving interactions, and seek some shared experiences. Right, so do your best to participate in activities. It doesn't matter if they're activities that are small, right, you don't have to go all the way out to participate in big, big functions or big activities, or you can have big activities that you like to participate in. I know that there are folks that they like to join social groups that could be a little bigger, not that, not so small. Then there are other people that they prefer smaller groups. Right, they feel more comfortable like that. So you have to see where you feel comfortable, but embrace, embrace the diverse relationships that can really lead you to feel more fulfilled and have a better and a more complete, satisfying life in 2024.

Speaker 2: 33:00

Remember that the foundation for meaningful connections with others is a strong relationship with yourself, okay. So cultivating that self-love and self-care is essential for a fulfilling and positive future. So just be very mindful of that, the relationship you keep with yourself. It stems from your self-love and your self-care and your self-respect, the relationship you have with yourself. To have then, these quality relationships. Remember that the quality of relationships is more important than the quantity. So don't get so caught up on I don't have a lot of friends, or I'm not very close to my cousins, or I don't have a lot of friends at work or I don't have. Right. Don't focus on the number. Focus on the quality and experience. You cultivating these relationships with genuineness, right, so you can have a more genuine connection and authenticity and care within those relationships. And I know that by practicing these tips that I shared with you today, I know you're going to have a much more fulfilled and positive 2024.

Speaker 2: 34:21

So I hope that you enjoyed today's podcast. I hope that you share it. Share with me any lessons that you learned from today's podcast, any takeaways that you have, any aha moments. I always like to hear from you. So please let me know if you would like. Please share this podcast episode. You just never know who may need it, right. So share it. Share it with loved ones, people that are in your circle and understand that reciprocity within relationships. It's so important and I think I'm going to do another podcast on this, right, because there's different types of reciprocity within our relationships and sometimes we get burned out with our friendships and romantic partners, right, and experiences when we are not feeling that we are receiving some of what we give out.

Speaker 2: 35:19

And it's not because you give to receive, but it's just the law of life, right? You can't just be a taker and a taker, right, and you can't just be a giver and a giver, right? You have to balance out, and I want to share with you a little bit more about that. Let me know if you're interested. I would love to share a little bit more about how can we write work on our reciprocity within our relationships too. So stay tuned for that. Let me know if that's something of interest for you, and make sure that you are examining your garden of life, because you're amazing and you're so worth it. This is your Coach Smiley, signing out. Till next time, remember to take good care of yourself and of each other. Besitos.