Ep.44 Are You Struggling with Procrastination? Can It Be You Fear Success? Let's Talk About It

Have you ever found yourself paralyzed by the potential for success rather than the fear of failure? Latina women who strive to achieve their dreams against all odds face this particular challenge. This episode explores strategies for overcoming procrastination and breaking free from the deep-rooted triggers that hold us back. 

We'll discuss the importance of self-care, avoiding burnout, and the transformative power of shifting our mindset. We'll also dive into the nitty-gritty of goal setting, including prioritizing the most challenging tasks and taking breaks to keep our minds sharp. 

We'll explore the power of visualization, gratitude, and setting realistic goals to avoid self-sabotage. Our community will share stories about overcoming procrastination and discover motivation hacks to stay inspired and move forward. 

But progress isn't always easy, and we'll also discuss the importance of acknowledging our struggles and finding faith in adversity. We'll also discuss the role of communal support and rituals like the serenity prayer in guiding us through difficult times. 

So please grab a cup of coffee, tea, or your favorite beverage and join us on this empowering journey of self-discovery. Together, we can become the best versions of ourselves, one heartfelt conversation at a time.

Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and should not substitute for therapy. We recommend you seek help from a trained professional for your specific situation.

Q&A: What are Your Thoughts on This Episode? Please message us at contact@smilieempowerment.com

Are you a leader dedicated to achieving success or a professional driven to boost your leadership skills, establish effective teams, and improve your personal and professional development? Look no further! Smile Empowerment coaching offers comprehensive and personalized guidance that caters to your needs, whether individual or executive coaching or team-building sessions.

To book a free 30-minute consultation, please contact us at contact@smilieempowerment.com. During this meeting, we'll discuss your goals and create a tailored plan to ensure your success. Together, we can make a difference and embrace a journey towards your ultimate potential!

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:04

Hola, vos Chica. Welcome to the Smiley Empowerment Podcast. This is where we celebrate the strength, resilience and determination of Latina women and all women who are constantly on the go, pushing through challenges and achieving their goals. I like to call these women Vos Chica, like me, if you're a busy woman ready to be uplifted, inspired, empowered to take charge of your healing journey and be a Vos Chica, you've come to the right place. We can all agree, life can be hectic and overwhelming, but anything is possible with the right mindset, attitude, tools and support. Let me introduce myself. My name is Smiley Filomenos Rodriguez and I am a Latina Life Empowerment coach and a social worker. I started this podcast because I know what feeling alone and overwhelmed with past wounds and challenges feel like. I want to help you with self-discovery, self-love and self-empowerment so you can grow and thrive. Do you sometimes feel alone, de siente sola? Well, you're not alone. No está sola. You have me, your coach, smiley. In each episode, I'll share personal stories of resilience, healing tips, practical advice, strategies for managing your time and priorities for improving your relationship with yourself and others, and insights on cultivating a positive and fulfilling joyful life. So grab your earbuds and tea or coffee, take a deep breath and get ready to be inspired and encouraged. Let's begin this journey together and empower each other to become the best versions of our lives. Let's get started. You got this. Welcome back. Welcome back, mi boss, chica and my fellow listeners. Welcome back. You know.

Speaker 1: 2:14

Today's topic is one that I know that many people experience it, especially women, and especially Latina women. We sometimes feel so overwhelmed, we go into a brain freeze and we become paralyzed in doing the things that we know we need to do in our to-do list, especially the things that are very meaningful to us, that are aligned with our goals that we have set for ourselves now, here, in 2024 or whenever. You're listening to this episode, and what I want to talk about today is why are you procrastinating? Right, many of us talk about the fear of failure. So many people talk about fear of failures and fear of failing, and oftentimes it's because we fear that we are going to disappoint people that we care about and we're not going to live up to their expectations and our expectations. However, I want you to explore a little further. Why are you procrastinating? Could it be that you have fear of success? Could that be it?

Speaker 1: 3:33

Many of us often don't really realize that we could be holding back and procrastinating because we fear success. And if that is you, you are not alone. Not only you are not alone, but many, many individuals really don't explore why they have the procrastination, what are their triggers, and then they don't know how to overcome it. That's why I was so inspired to do this episode, because I want to offer you some strategies, some tips on how you can begin to explore and learn more about you, because you are most important. It's so important to learn about yourself. So keep listening to this podcast, episode number 44, because it's going to have a lot of nuggets on how you can crush that procrastination, how can you begin to take action in your life. So keep listening to episode 44 here at the Smiley Empowerment. I'm so excited to be here with you all, and it's important for us to remember that it takes time for us to live our dreams. It's not something that happens overnight and you don't reach success by yourself. And that's why I'm so inclined to share my knowledge, to share my professional recommendations, to share a little bit about my own life story and vulnerability, because it's important to share. We learn from each other.

Speaker 1: 5:10

Now I did share at the top of this episode that, while many of us may Know and know someone, or we experience procrastination ourselves we often immediately talk about fear, and sometimes it's not just fear. Sometimes it's much deeper than the fear. So it's important for you to also look at the state of your energy, your energy level. If you are maxed out and I know that this happens but if you are maxed out with so much to do and you feel that you are all over the place, you have brain fog, you, you're doing everything to to everyone, meaning that you're being there for everyone and you are neglecting of your self-care, of Resting, of giving your brain a break. Because a lot of neuroscientists are talking more and more about with their studies that when we are maxed out, when we have the symptoms of burnout, when we push our brain to the limit of overdrive, what happens is we have a response that kicks in and that's like a freeze response where you know what, we drop everything and we don't. We don't move forward. We become paralyzed in the task that we have to do, and it's often because we are so drained and we lack energy.

Speaker 1: 6:38

So I want you to reflect how do you take care of yourself on a daily basis. What are the activities that you do to take care of yourself? What are the activities that you engage in if you're working at home or you're working in an office, or if you're a stay-at-home mom? Right, I want you to explore. What is it that you do each day? Now, there are many tasks that we write that we have to take into consideration and do. Right, you might be running with your kids around doing homework and Going to different plays to support them Straight after work without really getting rest. You might experience that during your work hours, right, you barely take your lunch, you don't step away from your desk or your cubicle. Or if you're working from home, you are so locked in that you don't take those breaks.

Speaker 1: 7:31

I speak of this because I Used to be this way. Now I'm a solo entrepreneur. I quit my job at the time of this recording. It's been like about three months, right, and I'm a solo entrepreneur doing full-time smiley empowerment coaching, and I learned that, even though that, that when I used to work in a nine-to-five in an office, even though I Spoke about this, I didn't really take the time to Really work on myself and doing these activities that will lead me to Having my brain more alive and less stressed. So what I notice now that I'm home and that I have Time for myself to some degree because there's a lot of work behind the scenes to do the podcast I go live twice, twice a week, on Instagram.

Speaker 1: 8:23

I'm Content, creating content. I just finished a self-love bootcamp for five days. It was spectacular, amazing for those that've been following. The ladies had a phenomenal Time with me and it was great. But you see, there's it's so much into planning and executing. But what I did learn was that it's okay to slow down now that I'm my own boss and you don't have to wait to be your own boss. Literally, from the job that you're in, you are your own boss of your life and as much as we think that the job can't get done if we're not there or if we don't keep up with it, guess what? When life happens God forbid your health goes south or you have a person that you take care of that's very ill and you have to take A leave of absence or some time right, life forces you to slow down, whether you like it or not. So let's not wait to get to that point For us to take care of ourselves. And I speak of this at the top of this episode Because, as much as we're talking about procrastination right it's so important to really gauge what is our health level, what is our energy level?

Speaker 1: 9:42

Because when we don't have a lot of energy, physically in our body and also in our brain, the energy that we need we become flooded and what we often notice is the bare minimum energy that we have left it's still to do for someone else. So oftentimes you find that your heart's desire, those dreams that are so deep that you feel it so Much in your soul. Another year goes by and you do not tackle it. You start and you stop. If you find yourself that you constantly doing that, that is procrastination. You're procrastinating, whether you're procrastinating making a decision, getting out of that relationship, or making a decision to go back to school and enroll right, or make that decision to finally Start saving for that home that you want and limit a little bit or minimize your spending. Whatever the steps are for you to get that goal and for you to live a healthier life. If you're procrastinating, you're not alone. It's normal. I want you to know that it's a normal Thing for us to procrastinate from time to time.

Speaker 1: 10:56

Now you may know someone and you're comparing yourself to them and saying so and so never procrastinate. That person has excellent discipline. They're always doing what they set out to do, and I have to share that, because my son is like that. Shout out to my son. I love him so much. He's about to Turn 24, his birthdays coming up. I'm so happy and proud of him. But the reason I showcase him or actually give him a shout out is because he's taught me so much about Discipline. But you know also, what he's taught me and also that I've learned more and more and I'm practicing it for myself, I'm helping my clients with.

Speaker 1: 11:35

It is that we need to self-care. I, because if you go to bed very late, if you are not eating property, if you're not moving any type of movement, your energy is stagnant. What happens is your stress levels and your stress hormones. They begin to multiply, they begin to increase. So no wonder you don't have the focus, the energy, the desire to go after your goals.

Speaker 1: 12:02

Now what's interesting, very interesting, is that I've been working since I was 18. I've been working for over no, actually 14 years old, because I got my working papers and all the way to the present till three months ago that I resigned my job to do Smiley Empowerment full time. I have to share that I notice a pattern, and not just with me, but everywhere. We go above and beyond for a paid job and listen. I applaud the work ethic. I think it's amazing that you're able to do that, but what I notice is we don't go above and beyond for our own self care. We don't go sometimes above and beyond for the things that mean the most to us, and with this I mean you for yourself. I am not speaking about and I'm a mom, so I'm not speaking about what's for your son or your daughter or your grandkids or your nieces or your godkids. That's great, because they're part of the why.

Speaker 1: 13:05

Right and that's one of the things that I want you to practice is what is your why behind the goals that you have set for yourself for this year? Why? Why is it important to you Put meaning to it, connect your brain, your heart together, aligned with that goal or with those goals? Right, but aside from the effect, right from influencing from your family, benefiting from you being so proud that your family is proud of you or your friends Besides that, why do you really want to do it. What is it for you? What does it mean for you to get these goals that you have set forth?

Speaker 1: 13:45

Now procrastinating, it could be for many different reasons, and I want you to take this time, as you're listening to my episode, I want you to take the time to learn about yourself. What is your biggest obstacle when it comes to procrastinating? What is that for you? Are you fearing success? And I say this because many of us don't talk about this, about fearing success? You know why.

Speaker 1: 14:13

Sometimes, what may be underlying for you, especially if you have goals that you've been postponing for years and years and you really think about it there's no real, real reason, right, why you have not, within these years, gone for that dream home or gone for traveling more, right? You may have legit reasons, but I'm speaking when you don't. Let's be honest with ourselves. When there's legit reasons, there's legit, legitimate reasons, that's okay. But when there aren't legitimate reasons, what is it that's stopping you? Are you fearing success? Because success comes with a price. When you finally get what you've been chasing or you've been working for, guess what? Now you have responsibilities. Some of you want to buy a home. Guess what? When you buy a home and you get it, it's amazing. You have a housewarming party, you're excited, it's great. But then there's responsibilities with that. If you want to buy a car, there's responsibilities with that.

Speaker 1: 15:15

So sometimes we have to look at are we fearing that success? Because one success kicks in. Now you have to step up to the plate on another level and sometimes we're afraid of the uncertain times ahead once you achieve your goal right. So you might be fearing success and if you are, I want you to write down what are you fearing? What is that fear? What are you overwhelmed with?

Speaker 1: 15:44

Another reason could be lack of motivation. You might feel not motivated, especially with everything that's happening all over the world. You might have given up to your dreams. I want you to relive those dreams again. I want you to speak life to your dreams again. I want you to be inspired and you may be lacking inspiration and that's why maybe you start a task and then you don't complete it Often.

Speaker 1: 16:09

Also, we fear failure, because sometimes we fear that we're gonna fail and then we're gonna disappoint our loved ones and we're gonna disappoint ourselves. Right, and if you experience a lot of this feeling that everything has to be perfect and you have perfectionism, right, that really, it could be a very strong feeling that you have and a strong habit of being perfect, and that leads to more procrastination. So it's important for you to really give priority to what you want to do, give priority to the activities and the tasks that are going to lead you to getting your goal, that are going to lead you to be closer to that dream, because sometimes it takes more than a year for different tasks. That's why it's important that I want you to write down what your dreams are, put them into short-term and long-term, because there are some dreams that we know, realistically, it's gonna take us a year or more, but then there are dreams, or part of the dream, that you can start in the next three months, right, in 90 days, in 12 weeks, and you can break down those tasks into small tasks right, you can break down the goal into small tasks so you can manage your time more effectively. Put some time to the tasks that you want to do and work on your self-esteem. Sometimes we procrastinate because we have low self-esteem. We don't believe in ourselves, right, and it's terrible that we often believe in other people, in their dreams, but we don't believe in ourself. So it's important to have time for self-reflection. I'm glad you're listening to this episode. Wherever you're at, it's important to reflect, learn more about yourself, practice some self-compassion for yourself, do your best to do a shift, a mind shift.

Speaker 1: 18:13

I just went live to talk about this on Instagram and I was so taken back by folks that were on there women and men and that they were so motivated at the end of my life when I talked about procrastination and they shared it. They said it's funny, I feel so much more motivated to get started. But when they first came into the live, when I was talking about this topic of procrastination, they were not as excited, right, they felt not motivated, they felt not inspired. They possibly felt distracted, maybe felt a little bit lost. I know one of the comments were that the person said that they felt lost and they felt terrible because they procrastinate so much. That's the other part.

Speaker 1: 19:00

When you procrastinate a lot and frequently, you become more and more upset with yourself, frustrate it with yourself, you feel terrible and then you become very harsh with yourself. That's why I want you to be inspired to learn a little bit more about yourself. Know that you're not alone. Myself included, I've had a lot of struggle with procrastination, I've gotten so much better and I think that what finally clicked for me was learning my why's. Why is this task so hard for me?

Speaker 1: 19:36

Another big tip that it's great is to start at the beginning of the day, when our brain is at its highest function, right the beginning of the day, the top of the morning, the beginning of the day before midday. Do whatever task you need to do. That's the most complex for you, the one that has maybe a lot of steps to do, the one that you feel that your energy goes into it and you're like, wow, I need a break after that. That's important because when you start doing the most easiest task and you do a lot of multitasking which also I've learned that multitasking as much as we could be multitasker queens, because I'm one of them I'm now being more of a like okay, two tasks at a time, focus on one thing or two and then that's it. Because the more I spread myself out, I realized that my brain was maxed out and by the time the end of the day came and I had time for myself and my family, I was completely depleted. By the time the weekend came, I was completely depleted. So it's important for you to spread out your tasks.

Speaker 1: 20:48

Start with the ones that are more complex, that they need more of your time, because you'll notice that you'll get through it a little bit better and preserve that energy, because at the top of the day, your brain is at its highest, functioning and throughout the day also. Take breaks, get up, walk, drink water, stay very hydrated. That also helps the brain function. So it's learning about yourself. It's not just about okay, what do I mean to do? Get over it. I know that there's tough love out there. We have friends that do tough love for us, or family members, but this is not about if you suffer a lot of low self-esteem, not feeling your best. It's not going to help. When someone is like telling you get with it, you're lazy, do it. You have to understand yourself, the way you function. So I wanted to share a few tips that can help you.

Speaker 1: 21:43

Number one get very clear on what it is that you want. What do you truly desire? And put pen to paper. Studies have shown that our brain connects to the hand that we write with 40% Right. So that's why oftentimes, when you're taking notes in a classroom especially when you were younger you possibly have more retention of the work when you wrote it down. So write down your goals. What is it that you want to do? Be very clear and then stay in a state of motivation and enthusiasm. Get excited about what you want to do and connect your brain with your heart. Align those two together, right. It's in your heart, you love it. You want to achieve these goals, right. So align it with your brain, right. Your heart and your brain coherent together, boosts your energy and focus and stay very enthusiastic.

Speaker 1: 22:41

Okay, number two set some time to do some some visualization activities, right. What I mean by that it's take time of the day, maybe when you go use the restroom, when you're taking a shower, when you have time for just you solo. I want you to close your eyes and visualize. Visualize yourself already having achieved those dreams. But I want you to put all of your body into it, all of your senses. I want you to look at how do you feel? I want you to look at yourself crossing that stage of the graduation. I want you to feel and smell the new car that you want to get. I want you to see yourself in your housewarming of your new home. Does it have a lot of windows. How do you feel? Who is there? How does it smell? Because when you activate your visualization center right In your brain, it causes your brain to tap into the reward system. And there you go, the brain drops more dopamine. You start feeling better, you start feeling this boost of energy. You get really enthusiastic. All right, that's so important.

Speaker 1: 23:55

Number three, I want you to really practice gratitude, because when you practice gratitude on a daily day and you reflect on what do you have, what is working for you, you start shifting that pessimist mentality, the feeling that you lack something, the feeling of I can't do this, and you start thinking and feeling more abundant. You start feeling more positive, in an optimistic way. Right. And then what happens when you are constantly feeling in this good place? Right, you start taking more of the steps that you need to take to do your goals. Right, and you start noticing more that you are more than halfway to your goals. Right, because, number one, you're here. Number two, you have so many things to be thankful for and when you start noticing all the things the home, the sky, the very breath that you breathe, that you're here, that you could see, that you can smile, all of these small things but that make it make your life much more rewarding.

Speaker 1: 25:08

When you focus on the glass half full and I like to go a step further I always have said this let's not just focus on the glass half full and be folks like that. Let's be grateful that we have a glass in the first place and that there's water in there, right? Let's and that's the beauty of life that we have it. What we have during our life journey is ups and downs, sunshine and rain. Never one day the same, never a dull moment. There's always something occurring, right, but to everything, we can look at it as everything is working out for us. At the end, everything's going to work out. Yes, you're going to go through struggle, but do it anyway, right? That's so important. It's so important.

Speaker 1: 25:53

And the last two, the last two tips that I have for you, is to make sure that your goals are realistic. Don't set yourself up for failure. That's another part of procrastination, when we are constantly self-sabotaging ourselves and then saying you see, but you really set yourself up with things that were very unrealistic for the time frame for you at the time. That doesn't mean not to dream big. I'm big fan of the bigger the dream, the even better, because it's your life. It's your dream and you have one life to live, so go for it. But be realistic with your goals. Break them down into small tasks. Break them down as much as you can. Make sure that the steps that you take are achievable. Focus, focus at one task at a time. A small step that you take goes a long way. And celebrate yourself, celebrate your progress. Your progress is success as you build into the progress little by little. Next thing, you know you're right there and you got the dream.

Speaker 1: 26:57

Sometimes, when I look back at the things that I've been able to achieve, like buying a home, having my son right when I was told when I was very young that I possibly couldn't have children, so my son is a miracle. So when I look back after I achieved the things that I set, that my heart wanted so badly, but that it was a struggle to get and I had to really work at it and there were times that I gave up and then I had to get back on track right, what I learned is that about myself is that nothing comes easy, and when things do come easy, what I mean that nothing comes easy is not to be a pessimist, it's not to think about. There's no, everything is perfect, right, but when you think about it, everything comes with its share of struggles. Everything may come with something that you had to maybe sacrifice something. And then there are other times when you're manifesting that everything comes easy, everything comes with ease. You're like in a sweet spot, and that happens often in people's lives. Sometimes you don't even realize it till you look back. What I mean by this is that life has the good and the bad, the dark and the light. Right, polarity is within life. So that's why, yes, there are times that a lot of things come easy and you start meeting the people that you need and the resources and you start saying, wow, I didn't do anything and there it was an opportunity, and then you were ready for it and you went for it. Then there are other times.

Speaker 1: 28:28

Often times the human being goes through a lot of different struggle. We have to be careful that we're not constantly in this survival mode, because in survival mode the emotions that come in, they're very low in frequency and vibration. Right, when you're constantly worrying, when you're constantly putting yourself down, when you're constantly trying to figure things out, but in a way that you're very hostile with yourself and you're constantly arguing and there's drama and anxiety. You have to try to neutralize that and get into emotions that are more full with energy and vibrational that's high, so you can continue to attract right and just be in situations and spaces and meet people that are going to continue to elevate you and support you. Like this episode. You're not listening to this by coincidence, right? If you're listening to this, this was for you. This was for you. Definitely.

Speaker 1: 29:26

God put it in my heart to speak about this. I'm very passionate. I've had a long history with procrastination and I am working on it. I'm working with my clients on it because we are work in progress. There's never a dull moment where you're like, oh, I learned everything and I'm just relaxing here. Nothing happens. Life is perfect. No, life comes with ups and downs, times that you are gonna be enjoying yourself, laughing, and all of a sudden you get a call and your life changes and you're completely devastated and next thing you know you're not motivated, you won't want to do the tasks that you needed to do for your goal and you lose yourself.

Speaker 1: 30:09

So I want you to come back and reconnect with your heart, with your mind, align yourself with what you're called to do and what you want to do what's most important and make sure that you are breaking down those steps right. Keep yourself in a high energy level. Engage your brain more, stay motivated, stay, I wanna say, stay in good company with people that believe in you, that people that are also working on moving forward and you're learning from each other, supporting one another. And, lastly, continue to practice your own faith and spirituality, whatever that is, whatever you believe in, tap into that. Some people call it God, some people call it something else. I believe in God, right. I believe in a higher power. Listen, connect to what you feel comfortable and that it's in your heart to connect to.

Speaker 1: 31:09

Don't lose faith, don't lose hope, don't lose faith in yourself. Don't lose faith in God, because I do believe that God does Guide us, he does help us to Overcome many obstacles. I do believe in miracles. I've witnessed it. I'm a miracle baby myself. My story with my name smiley, it's such an amazing story and you know what we are. All miracles, right, because if you're here, you made it right so many trillions billions right, and Of there's so much for you to accomplish, there's so much for you to do in this lifetime, so I don't want you to give up.

Speaker 1: 31:49

Okay, so in number five, the step that I want you to take is that to believe. Believe that God get you back. Believe that the universe is in, is working in your favor. Believe in that higher power, whatever that power is for you. If you don't believe in anything like that, it's fine. Believe in yourself, because guess what? We are breathing this air that we can't see it and you could say, okay, proof to me that air is. Yet Let me see it. You can't, you can't grab it, right, but we're breathing life every day. So sometimes what you cannot see doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Sometimes, what you don't believe in doesn't mean it still doesn't exist. So believe in yourself, tap into your faith, keep prayer.

Speaker 1: 32:33

I, every morning, I have a ritual and I do say a prayer. That I love to say is the serenity prayer and it's so powerful. It helps me. And if you don't, if you don't want to think of it as a prayer, you could think of it as a poem or as a guide, words that guide you. But it really talks about you Surrendering right to what life has. That doesn't mean you don't, you're not active, but it's kind of Asking for God or the higher power you know the higher power to give you that discernment on when to do something and take action and when not, because we cannot control Other people and there's circumstances that we cannot control. And when we try to control, that's when we come drain Upset and then we get distracted from our goals. You see what I mean when you get too involved in other people's business Business which could be your business, it could be your mother, it could be your son and, of course, you care for your family. But when there are things that go beyond your control and you're still Putting too much attention to something you cannot resolve, to something that you have no control, you have to surrender, and the serenity prayer is a powerful tool to keep us very much Focus on what we need to do.

Speaker 1: 33:48

So I hope that these tips did help you remember that failure is not bad. Failure is just an opportunity for you to see what you need to get better at. It's an opportunity for you to learn, to grow, to get wiser, to get stronger. And Perfectionism is not a cool thing to be always doing. Yes, it has its benefits, because I've I've been a perfectionist all my life and there's so many things that people benefit from me, from that, especially my ex bosses. Throughout my whole lifetime they were like, wow, she's on the money, she's great. But I was really not taking care of myself because sometimes, when I was doing certain tasks, especially for myself, I became paralyzed, right, because I wanted everything to be perfect before I Did the first step.

Speaker 1: 34:41

So it's important for you to understand that you just have to take steps in the direction of progress and, little by little, you will have success. And it's not perfect, but it's your life and you are perfectly imperfect. So Take action, don't wait. Move forward. Get closer to your dreams and goals. Work on decompressing your brain a little bit, because that's where a lot of procrastination takes place, but our brain is tired. So break those goals smaller. Take a few days to relax. Remember that each step, little by little, will lead to your success and it will lead for you to have the dreams that you want. All right, so take good care of yourself and of each other. It's so important to take care of each other. This is your coach Smiley signing out. I see those.