Ep. 49 Elevate Your Interpersonal Skills: Master Empathy, Trust, and Connection for Meaningful Relationships

Have you ever stumbled over words during a crucial meeting or struggled to maintain harmony at home? Fear not; the Smilie Empowerment Podcast is here to help you turn mistakes, challenges, and experiences into opportunities for growth and connection. I attended a women's retreat where we learned how to communicate effectively, convey genuine interest, and foster an environment of trust while conveying our most authentic selves.

Join me as we unlock the secrets to empathy. Let's explore the wonderful world of empathy, the foundation of intense personal and professional connections. Are you ready to join me on this exciting journey of personal and professional relationships? We're not just talking about the occasional nod and 'uh-huh,' but genuinely understanding different perspectives—decoding the unspoken dance of nonverbal cues or simply learning to listen without the intent to reply. As I recount personal narratives and lessons from the retreat, we'll get into the nitty-gritty of body language, cultural differences, and the art of checking in with others. By the end of this journey, you won't just hear but feel the difference in how you connect with those around you.

Wrapping up, we'll explore the power of stepping into the Boss Chicas Club Circle of Trust. It's not just another group—it's a movement for women over 18, fostering interpersonal skills through engaging activities and heartfelt group coaching sessions. Imagine enhancing your personal and professional relationships and watching your world expand with trust, empathy, and emotional intelligence. So, whether you're a leader, collaborator, or head of your family, tune in to elevate your interpersonal skills and enrich your connections in ways you never thought possible. Let's grow together, one conversation at a time.

Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational purposes only and should not substitute for therapy. We recommend you seek help from a trained professional for your specific situation.

Q&A: What are Your Thoughts on This Episode? Please message us at contact@smilieempowerment.com

Are you a leader dedicated to achieving success or a professional driven to boost your leadership skills, establish effective teams, and improve your personal and professional development? Look no further! Smile Empowerment coaching offers comprehensive and personalized guidance that caters to your needs, whether individual or executive coaching or team-building sessions.

To book a free 30-minute consultation, please contact us at contact@smilieempowerment.com. During this meeting, we'll discuss your goals and create a tailored plan to ensure your success. Together, we can make a difference and embrace a journey towards your ultimate potential!

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:03

Hola, boss Chica. Welcome to the Smiley Empowerment Podcast. This is where we celebrate the strength, resilience and determination of Latina women and all women who are constantly on the go, pushing through challenges and achieving their goals. I like to call these women Boss Chica. Like me, if you're a busy woman ready to be uplifted, inspired, empowered to take charge of your healing journey and be a Boss Chica, you've come to the right place. We can all agree, life can be hectic and overwhelming, but anything is possible with the right mindset, attitude, tools and support. Let me introduce myself.

Speaker 1: 0:45

My name is Smiley Filomeno Rodriguez and I am a Latina life empowerment coach and a social worker. I started this podcast because I know what feeling alone and overwhelmed with past wounds and challenges feel like. I want to help you with self-discovery, self-love and self-empowerment so you can grow and thrive. Do you sometimes feel alone, desiente sola? Well, you're not alone. No, estas sola. You have me, your coach, smiley. In each episode, I'll share personal stories of resilient healing, tips, practical advice, strategies for managing your time and priorities for improving your relationship with yourself and others, and insights on cultivating a positive and fulfilling joyful life. So grab your earbuds and tea or coffee, take a deep breath and get ready to be inspired and encouraged. Let's begin this journey together and empower each other to become the best versions of our lives. Let's get started. You got this.

Speaker 2: 2:15

Hello, hello, my beautiful people. I am so happy that you tuned in. I don't know about you, but I had an amazing, fabulous weekend. I hope that you did too. Wherever you're at, please know that I am sending you good vibes, good energy.

Speaker 2: 2:27

Here at Smiley Empowerment, we're all about elevating you, whether you're a woman, a man, an individual that wants to better themselves. This is the place to be, where we have meaningful conversations, where I offer you guidance, where I offer you support, where I offer you support and where I share a little bit, too, about my journey right, because we all can learn from each other, and that's why I want to share about this weekend that was super powerful and instrumental for me and in my growth. I'm always talking about developing yourself, empowering yourself. If you are someone who is looking into improving, in elevating their interpersonal skills, this is the episode to listen to, because I'm going to offer you five steps to help you elevate your interpersonal skills. That is so important. We need our interpersonal skills, right. So, regardless of your ranking right, regardless if you are a professional and you're really looking on improving your communication style and your abilities, or if you are just someone who's aligned staff, part of the team, at the place that you work or in a business, and you want to really work on your relationships. It could also be in your family life, in your circle, group of friends, overall in all of your life experiences.

Speaker 2: 3:53

If you want to elevate your interpersonal skills, this is the episode to really hone in and listen to from beginning to end, because our interpersonal skills are super important and critical for our success in our relationships and those interactions, whether they are personal or even both personal and professional. We want to make sure that we are tight, that we are good with our interpersonal skills, because those are the skills that really help us to make those successful connections, those meaningful connections. And it could be that you are an executive, you could be a company leader, a president of a company, you could be a stay-at-home mom or stay-at-home dad, right, and you are really needing those interpersonal skills to really work in those relationships that you have so you can build a communicator, being very sensitive to other people, being very self-aware of yourself and others and being self-aware of cultural sensitivity. So I want to talk about these five steps because I believe they're going to help you in elevating your interpersonal skills, in elevating your interpersonal skills, okay, and I want to share about this weekend, because you may say, well, Smiley, what does the weekend being so fabulous have to do with this topic? Everything, everything.

Speaker 2: 5:35

Because during this weekend, I attended a women's retreat which was amazing, and I was in the company of other colleagues and professional coaches and business entrepreneurs like myself, and we were able to work together in elevating ourselves personally, professionally, as well as spiritually. And you would think, okay, smiley, so you did that retreat, so how is this going to help me with my own interpersonal skills? Well, I want to tell you that attending this retreat that I did I had to use all of my interpersonal skills. I had to do that and I think that if you're one that, regardless of your title and your ranking right, whether you're working or you're a business person, if you're an executive and you're in the top tier of an executive company, your own company or another agency or an organization, or you're a line staff or team member or you are at home, it could be as well as part of your home life and you're really looking at yourself and you're saying you know something.

Speaker 2: 6:43

I've been in a season of burnout, I'm in a rut, I don't communicate as well, I'm feeling like my interpersonal skills have been a bit out of tune. It is important to review that because you need to work on those interpersonal skills so you can have a successful personal and professional life and, within the skill sets that you have, you may already have these interpersonal skills down pack, or you may take this opportunity to review them and see okay, am I really a great communicator or am I to the next level I'm a master communicator, right? So I want you to make sure that you are really assessing your own interpersonal skills that affect you in every area of your life, right? So let's get right into it. Let's discover some of these skill sets and how we can really build these connections and meaningful connections, and I'm going to share them according to my own interpersonal skill sets and how I work with my coaching clients and how I work with myself, as well as sharing with you this weekend's retreat how impactful it was to be surrounded by other women that showed their own interpersonal skills, and they really were very strong at it.

Speaker 2: 8:02

There could have been, maybe at different times, and they really were very strong at it. There could have been maybe at different times, myself included. There were times that I. There were certain skills that I was like, oh wait, a minute, this is being a little bit more to a test, in the sense like how am I really answering that question and how am I interacting with fellow colleagues or fellow entrepreneurs, fellow women who are really working on themselves? Right? Because we all have levels of insecurities, regardless of your gender, how you identify, regardless of your status or culture. We all have different insecurities and I wanted to hone in on this experience that I just had over the weekend, because I believe that my interpersonal skills I'll speak for myself, I was able to see it in play during the whole weekend and if you have been feeling lately especially my ladies, my boss, chicas, my fellow female friends if you've been feeling lately in a rut, in a funk, not feeling that you're communicating also as you would want to, I want you to take a closer look, because if you haven't been going out much, if you've been isolating yourself, also my gentlemen out there, however, you identify as gender.

Speaker 2: 9:12

If you as an individual, as a human being, you've been feeling lonely, you've been feeling in a rut, you've been feeling like you know something I'm not really paying attention to other people because I am really in my own zone. I'm feeling disconnected. I go to work every day or I go to my business. I interact with my family, colleagues not in the best of ways and I'm struggling a bit with my interpersonal skills. I really want you to take notice of how you've been communicating and also take notice what activities have you been doing to help you to get out of that rut? The previous episode I spoke about that on episode 48. If you haven't listened to that yet, I want you to go take a listen, because I was very specific on how you can get out of your rut in a faster way. Faster, meaning that I identify key ways in which you can immediately have change by taking the action that you need. So if you want to listen to that episode, I would highly encourage you to do that Now.

Speaker 2: 10:21

With the retreat. You don't have to invest big money if you don't want to, or there's different levels of retreats, different investments. I want you to take some sort of action and I bring this up about the retreat because I really had an opportunity to work on myself as a professional personally for my personal development. Also, the spirituality component as well was during this retreat and I want you to understand that. To all of that, there was a lot of interpersonal skills that I had to use. That are the ones that I'm going to share with you, that I want you to really look at for yourself if you have them in place and are you a master at it or you pretty good or you're like you know what I really need help in that. I want to pair it up with my experience of the retreat, because in that retreat I was able to assess for myself my own interpersonal skills and I was able to see in other people their strengths, also in their interpersonal skills.

Speaker 2: 11:21

And sometimes we do struggle with certain ways of communicating due to past trauma, due to our own insecurities, due to many different factors. But the good news is that we can really work on ourselves to improve those communication skills and especially our interpersonal skills. Okay, so I wanted to get right into that. So the first skill that I also noticed for me in this retreat this weekend is that I noticed that I really was actively listening. So the first step in improving your interpersonal skills is for you to really have effective communication, learn or continue practicing how to really listen, to understand the individual and not listen to already have a response ready or already have your defense up right, what you're going to say, up how you're going to defend your point.

Speaker 2: 12:19

So it's very important for you to be an active listener. So it's really maintaining that eye contact, speaking to the person that's directly speaking to you. So an example of that is, while I was in the retreat, there was a time that the coach like with everybody, she did this and she spoke directly at me. So if it's a sensitive matter, there are times where you may struggle to keep that eye contact or to keep yourself speaking directly to the person who's speaking to you. Right, because there you can really keep your focus, you can really focus in on what you want to respond to this person, what do you want to say, right? So it's so important to do that and I noticed that, depending what the topic was or, for me, what it was there were times that maybe I looked away and spoke to another person that was nodding their head and I felt like, oh, I'm connecting with this person.

Speaker 2: 13:15

But it's so important that if you're in a meeting or you're speaking with a friend, whether it's business, professional or in your personal life that you have the first step, which is active listening and is making sure that you are having eye contact, could be nodding your head. That means that you're with the person, right. That means that you are connected and those are just minor gestures that you can do. That really communicates to really to the person you're speaking to directly or even everybody else in the room, that you are connected, that you are having an understanding of what they're saying and maybe it's resonating with you, and it really encourages the person who is speaking really continue in sharing what they have on their mind, what they are there to communicate. It just keeps that speaker motivated and it keeps you as the listener more engaged, right.

Speaker 2: 14:10

So active listening is so important and really working on not interrupting, right, the other person when they're speaking, having a full attention to what is being said, to that conversation really right, because that shows respect to the speaker, to the people in the room, and it allows you to really take in the information when you're being an active listener. It also helps you to develop a little bit of empathy. Right, it helps you to practice that empathy. For some people they're developing it, but if you already have empathy like for myself, I do it allowed me the opportunity to practice right For me to be in the other person's shoes and offer them the support and understanding to their perspective, and that really helped us to become a little bit deeper. It helped us to really engage.

Speaker 2: 14:59

So, me being an active listener during the retreat, I noticed that not just the hosting coaches that were there shout out to Coach Jessica and Zita right A shout out to them. It made it easier for them to continue to convey with me what the messaging was when they were speaking directly to me as well. I observed this throughout the whole retreat because everyone was very involved and everyone, for the most part overall, were active listeners. So it's so important for you to step up your game with your interpersonal skills by stepping up being an active listener and having moments to really practice. One of the parts that I also enjoyed in the active listening was that I had an opportunity right to, at times, paraphrase paraphrase to what another person was sharing, paraphrase a little bit about what the coach was saying to me. So what I'm understanding that you're saying or encouraging me to do is X, y and Z. That's a form of paraphrasing, kind of like summarizing, and I saw the coaches both of them paraphrasing as well throughout the retreat. So that's a great way to be an active listener, because you're able to have the key points that people are expressing and be able to share them again in the paraphrasing. And this really shows me and others that we're all paying attention, that we're processing the information, and it really encourages us to continue to have those open conversations. So that is super important for you to be an active listener, these techniques that I just shared. Put them into practice on a daily basis, because it will help you to have stronger, meaningful connections. At the same time, you can get a lot of insight. I got valuable insight right, and I was able to also learn from not just the coaches but also the other ladies that attended the retreat that were like-minded, that they were really also there to grow and learn being an active listener. I was able to do that. So that's the importance of being an active listener and to really have your interpersonal skills put together.

Speaker 2: 17:19

The next skill that I want you to work on is for you to develop empathy and understanding of other people's perspectives. Right, I want you to really work on developing and honing in on having empathy and for you to understand where someone else is coming from. So during the retreat I was able to do that. So these are the things, my interpersonal skills that I was checking off in my head, just keeping myself like, okay, on point with this. And you can do this as well. It could be in any situation. You're in a one-on-one conversation with your bestie. It could be you as an executive having conversations with your executive board, right. These are all skills that are your interpersonal skills, positioning you for success, regardless who are you interacting with.

Speaker 2: 18:09

In the strategy number two, I want you to really work on practicing understanding the other person. It's putting yourself in someone else's shoes, right, and try, do your best to feel. What does it feel like if you were in that situation? Right, so you can have a different perspective and demonstrate that compassion to the person who's speaking. So you may say, well, I don't agree with certain actions that so-and-so did my boss or a colleague, or my daughter or a friend of mine.

Speaker 2: 18:42

When you start practicing the empathy and building off the active listening that you're doing and you're practicing now to understand that other person's view, their perspective, where they're coming from right, it helps you to have an open dialogue. So it's good that in this strategy in this step, that you improve your empathy by having an open mind. Right, be open-minded. I want you to be able to pay attention to the words that you are saying when you're having a conversation with a one-on-one or even in a group setting.

Speaker 2: 19:18

And I was able to observe myself and have self-awareness and also be aware of the other ladies, including the coaches, while I was in this retreat. It was so amazing and this is great to go to different activities or different meetings and put this to practice, because you may say, I feel that I have stronger interpersonal skills. When I'm with my best friend, when I'm in my friend circle, I just feel so much better. I check everything off, everything's fine. But when I'm in my friend circle, I just feel so much better. I check everything off, everything's fine. But when I'm in a meeting with my boss, I'm usually not as good as an active listener that could be an example because I'm in my head about wanting to defend my point. So that's why these steps are so applicable across any life situation.

Speaker 2: 20:01

So in step number two, you're going to continue playing off step number one, which was the active listening. So in step number two, right, you're going to continue playing off step number one, which was the active listening, but in step number two, you're going to practice that empathy, if you have it right, and that's going to help you to develop it, to hone in on it, because it really allows you to connect on a deeper level with the person you're speaking to and building, like I said, more meaningful relationships, right, and all types of relationships platonic, business, personal, family, right. This is so, so important and it's also important for you to stay open-minded. Like I said, I want you to recognize the person who's speaking and that's presenting to you at the moment. Whatever they're saying, that's their unique perspective and that comes from their own experience, right, that you possibly did not experience, even if you have similar experiences, but I want you to really respect and hold space for their own perspective and belief.

Speaker 2: 21:01

I was able to see myself and others really work on this. There was a lot of empathy, support, people really having engaging and wanting to understand each other's perspective, and also there was a lot of body language. We were able to see the emotions that were really at the core of some of our expressions and the body language, our voice, right. This is all part of us paying attention to each other so we would be able to see if someone there was a point where I'll speak for myself, where I was a little bit more reserved. The coach was able to say hey, smiley, you've been a little bit quiet. Do you want to share what's on your mind, what's going on, what's to answer the exercise that we were doing? But she was able to see my body language, she was able to recognize my facial expression, that I was a little bit quiet, and there's nothing wrong with asking the person hey, checking in, and that's important. That's part of the empathy, that's part of understanding the perspective. So it was great during the retreat that I was able to feel that people were very supportive and understanding of me and I did the same thing for others, because in the share outs we all got to share at different points, but especially at the share out, what were the takeaways? We were able to give gratitude and thank you to each other of different people. What did they offer for us throughout the retreat, right? So that's where I was able to say, wow, everybody here overall has great interpersonal skills. They were able to demonstrate empathy and support and able to understand each other. So I want you to really look at that.

Speaker 2: 22:37

How are you understanding others? Are you open-minded with individuals? And you might be a boss and you may not be as open-minded with your staff right With your team, or you may be the top president and your executive group of leaders. You're not as empathetic to them. You might be more empathetic to clients, be more empathetic to other line staff, but maybe not your direct counsel. Right Of leaders and this could be also in your home. You may be lacking a little bit of your interpersonal skills in the areas of empathy and understanding your kid's perspective. You may be great at work, but when it comes to your family life or when it comes to understanding your sister or maybe your circle of friends, you struggle a little more. So this you can really apply and practice across your relationships.

Speaker 2: 23:27

Okay, and really do take understanding of other people, what they're saying, engage in more meaningful conversations. Get curious about people's experiences, especially. You know that there's cultural differences, right, and you have diverse backgrounds. Make sure that you are expanding yourself. That's why I encourage you to continue to foster relationships with different types of people and communities, right, whether either whether they're online, in the podcast community, offline, you know, in your in-person relationships, just have a broad perspective that helps. That really helps you to develop more that empathy and being in touch with your own capacity to understand others effectively and building those stronger relationships. And you may say, well, I lack a little bit of empathy due to trauma or due to what I was modeled at home. Well, this is why you're listening to this episode and I encourage you there's a lot of resources and continue to connect with me and others.

Speaker 2: 24:35

It's not just a one place that you get everything. I believe in making sure that you're tapping into different sources, different styles of mentor, different places that you can get information. Nowadays, we have so many resources right, so really tap into that. Because, for instance, in this retreat, there were fellow business entrepreneur. There were other people that were in the coaching business. Right, I'm a life empowerment coach. I work with individuals, especially women, but I also work with executives, people that I've worked with, people that are in the public sector. It's important to diversify yourself as a human being and work and listen and be in the rooms and spaces with different individuals right that have different cultural background, that have different backgrounds right in the line of work that they do career-wise business executives, coaches, mentors, spiritual coaches, spiritual friendships, people that are very spiritual and you would like to connect with them.

Speaker 2: 25:39

Whatever you feel that you're connected to and you resonate with, connect with that, but understand that you have to get out of your comfort zone. Many of us sometimes may not connect with certain communities, not because we don't like the community or not because we don't like the individuals, but sometimes it's our own limited beliefs that sometimes don't allow us to get into the spaces where we're going to elevate ourselves or where we're going to make meaningful connections. Right. And let's not talk about making money where we can really tap into different resources and different ideas and really developing for ourselves different streams of income. That not necessarily just has to be with your nine to five. It could be other ideas. It's just expanding our mindset just by being in the room in the spaces where people have different perspectives. That, whether you agree or not, it opens your mind to other possibilities. Right. And we need to have good interpersonal skills to hold these conversations and make them go from surface level conversations to deeper conversations and meaningful connections.

Speaker 2: 26:48

Now in step three in the strategy three, it's really working on making those connections right and building that trust, whether they're personal, trust or professional relationships. So it's building connections. Step number three I want you to focus on building those connections, making those meaningful connections in your professional and or your personal relationship. I want you to really look into building those relationships with meaning and purpose, and for that there's so many different ways that you can connect with other colleagues that you may have, or connect with clients that you may be servicing, or you may be connecting with your direct supervisor, executives, friends, connecting and deepening with your siblings, connecting and deepening with your siblings. Connecting and deepening with your friendships. Connecting and building with your kids and your adult children, right? So it's important to really continue. It's important to continue to be an active listener. That's so important.

Speaker 2: 28:04

In step number three, you need to really continue doing that and really being able to show the person that you're speaking to, or the group of people that you're speaking to, that you are there for them, that you are genuinely interested in what they have to say, right. That really helps a lot and that's how active listening demonstrates to them that you are interested genuinely in what they have to say, and it actually shows them also a level of respect that you have for what they are sharing cross-sharing with you, which is their perspective. You show a lot of respect by just having that active listening no-transcript and it's important because I want you to think about what is your intention within the communication and the interaction with whoever you're speaking with. You have to be very clear on your own intention. You have to be very clear on what is your limitations and what are you expecting. So I was very clear with what my intentions was going to this women's retreat. That was very specific on my personal development, on my professional development and in my spiritual development as well in connection. So I knew that this retreat, this is what they were offering and I wanted to take part in it. But I knew what I wanted to receive from them and they actually were very good at it and I loved it because, as a coach myself, that's what I also do. I love that. They were very interested in what each of us coming to the retreat, what was the intention for us going to the retreat? What was our expectation? We be that.

Speaker 2: 30:15

You are the supervisor or the business owner. So what's your intention in that interaction with the individual? What is your intention with? It could be with your husband, your partner, right, your girlfriend, it could be that you're having a conversation and you want to build this, continue to build the trust with your partner, continue to foster those connections. But what is your intention in the conversation and what are you expecting from the relationship? Right, that is so important to focus on in step three, for you to begin or continue to build trust in these professional relationships, in your personal relationships, right, in these business transactions, your relationship with business partners right, it's so important to do that, to have a common ground. Also, it's so important, as you're building this trust, making sure that you know what they are interested in and you can convey what your interest is interested in and you can convey what your interest is. Right, so you can work together on collaborating. Right, and you can work on each other's strengths, right.

Speaker 2: 31:36

So in the retreat because I'm using the example, my personal example, of this weekend, this amazing retreat that I went to I was able to build trust with the other ladies that were there, little by little. It was a three-day retreat, right, so I had more time. It's funny because in three days we connected so well because the structure of the leader, the way they did the retreat and also our ability as individuals, with each of us having different levels of interpersonal skillset, but we were able to come through and develop these trusts with each other. That's why I feel that this grouping of ladies, that we were all together I believe that we brought in a lot of great interpersonal skills. That are the steps that I'm taking you through, and I was checking it off for myself to be self aware, because there were times in my lifetime where there were areas of these interpersonal skills where I needed to work on them and get better.

Speaker 2: 32:34

So, being with a group of ladies that I didn't know, it was out of my comfort zone and I share it with you because I want you to be more assertive. I want you to take more opportunities when they're presented or when you seek them out and get them for yourself where you are in spaces with different people. That will bring a different perspective to the perspective that you already have on different topics. It could be on your personal growth, it could be on spiritual right. They could teach you something different that you maybe don't agree, or you do agree, but you were like I didn't know that that expands your mind and that helps you in building more your interpersonal skills and getting them elevated, because the more you practice and you expose yourself to different situations, that's where you are going to say, oh whoa, I had to step up my interpersonal skills here. Oh, this put me to the test and I just noticed that I thought I was pretty confident with this, but I got to improve it. Or you can also have a different effect in different areas where you're like, wow, I am pretty strong on this and I used to not be, and now I noticed that this didn't trigger me, or, if it did, I didn't react. I actually just explained an observation and that was it. So it offers you an opportunity to have an understanding better of yourself, as well as other people. I highly recommend you to continue exploring yourself, use these interpersonal skills for your advantage, for growth, for better communication and building stronger and more meaningful relationships.

Speaker 2: 34:20

Okay, so in step number three, you really have to be committed to engaging with whether that's your colleague, clients, your family members really practicing, getting yourself to work on those professional and personal relationships and don't lose track or don't lose sight of your inner strengths. And wherever you feel that you're not doing that well, you may say Smiley, I have poor eye contact. I wasn't able to maintain myself in this active listening phase. Don't be hard on yourself. Just practice these steps more and more. Put them to practice in different scenarios, with different people, because with different people, you may find that you're stronger with your interpersonal skills, and with others, you may see that you're stronger with your interpersonal skills, and with others, you may see that whoa, I actually reverted back to shutting down. I actually right, depending who you're with, the key goal is to strengthen your interpersonal skills. So, regardless of who you're with, you could be an effective communicator and not be reactive, and be more in responding and having great articulation and effective communication with calmness, regulating your own emotions. Right them to.

Speaker 2: 35:48

My experience with the retreat, it's to give you a sense of where you can use this and the different scenarios where you can use these strategies. Right, and I encourage you to do that. Okay, so be committed to work on these skills in step three. So be active about following what you are deciding to do If you want to work on these skills. Make sure that you are interacting with the best intention in all areas of your life when you're in your workplace, when you're with your friends, when you are with your partner. Just continue to work on on fostering great, meaningful, strong professional and personal relationships so you can continue to foster the trust and the respect and it's mutual right Over the retreat. It was so great because it was a common theme for me, which is teach others how to treat you right, and that's something that sometimes it could be me anyone else I don't know if you can relate to this where sometimes you teach others to not respect your boundaries because you're too kind. Right, because you're too generous, sometimes when it means. Two is that you overstep your own boundaries and you show them that, oh, it's okay to do that. So it's so important for you to develop these interpersonal skills and tighten up on them, regardless of where you are in life, your status, regardless of, right where you're at. You could be a recent college graduate and these strategies can really help you.

Speaker 2: 37:15

So, number four really want you to continue to understand that having relationships, sometimes conflicts and miscommunication and having differences of opinion comes about, whether it's in your personal arena or in your professional space. Right, this happens and regardless of where you're at, it just happens because that's human nature and that's all about relationships and you have to be prepared to handle in an assertive way, conflicts or differences of opinion, and then come to a resolution. Right, that's so important. So, in step four, in strategy four, I want you to be very conscious and very aware of how you deal with difficult conversations, difficult situations, conflicts right? Are you assertive? Are you someone that you can express your thoughts and feelings and you can express this directly to the person? And you can express it while being emotionally stable, emotionally regulated? Right, and you can remain respectful and you can remain articulate and assertive in your response? Right, and that you can really stand your ground for yourself? Right, and have them have their perspective, you may even consider their perspective, but at the same time, you are not abandoning yourself or you're not abandoning your perspective to people, please, right, this is so important.

Speaker 2: 38:52

In step four, the strategy for interpersonal skills right, for it to be better, you, you have to look at how assertive are you when it comes to. You have to look at how assertive are you when it comes to practicing your assertiveness and when it comes to really being very clear on what you are stating, whether that's an observation that you may have about yourself or others, or it may be a concern that you want to bring up and always remember to stick to the I right, like I have this concern right, because the general group may not all have the same concerns or different individuals. So when we say no cause, we think this, who are we? It's really I right. And it's sometimes harder to stick with the I because it's exposing yourself and sometimes you may be the only one in the room that has that observation or has that concern right. So be very mindful of that.

Speaker 2: 39:46

In interpersonal skills, you need to be assertive and you need to know how to respond right when something there's a disagreement or there's a misunderstanding or you come to a crossroad and people are all together trying to figure something out and it can be a little delicate and uncomfortable. But remember that you are who you are. You're authentic, right and assertive and the best strategy is to remain very calm in the conversation. Do your best not to be defensive, right Not to come across as aggressive, because that will not lead to a resolution that is productive. If you get aggressive, if you want to force your point or if you are all over the place with your emotions and your feelings, then it's very hard and during the retreat I was able to see my own assertiveness and my own contribution when we were trying to figure something out. Right, like we're going to go eat. There's change of plans and it's just being calm and offering yourself to the other individual as calm, and avoiding the right blaming or accusing. And this could be in anything. It could be your relationship with a friend, it could be your relationship with your partner with a friend. It could be your relationship with your partner, your business colleague, right or partner. So these strategies are so helpful.

Speaker 2: 41:07

So continue practicing active listening right and continue to work on letting your concerns be out there, meaning like, you can express concerns, you can express your concerns, you can express an opinion. Do your best not to interrupt or judge another person, because when you do this then you're judging someone else, then you're lacking the empathy and I have to say I've done that right. Sometimes some of us interrupt while somebody's talking to us because sometimes it might be you're a little anxious, you're eager, sometimes it's excitability. It's not always negative. Sometimes it's excitability You're excited to say, oh my God, I'm so excited to share this with you and you kind of interrupt. But that really leaves the other person feeling rushed. Sometimes they also feel not validated, that their perspective is not important. And I noticed this during the retreat right Because I'm basing this on the experience that I had with the retreat.

Speaker 2: 42:01

I love that we were able to really express our own opinions and work through that in our inner work with ourselves, and also lend a hand and our opinions to others, while not really, for the most part, judging and doing our best to offer any type of solution to any situation. That felt a little uncomfortable. Many of us if many of us, if not all of us I felt during the retreat we were able to be assertive and that was very helpful because it's important sometimes to solicit the help of a friend who's neutral, or somebody who's neutral, a neutral mentor, someone else right To help you sometimes when there are some more serious conflicts. So I understand that while having the dialogue with another person, that it could be a little messy and especially in conflict resolutions it's tough, whether it's in the family setting or in a business setting. So sometimes getting that third person that can really help you be more level-headed is good. But it's important to be very careful who you're bringing in. It's someone you trust, that you know that they have a fresh perspective to offer and they're able to help you and sometimes you can even get coaches to help you to develop this part of you better, to be more assertive, like if you wanted to work with me, please. In the show notes there's information on how you can at least start the conversation to see if it's a good fit, because it's important to develop your interpersonal skills and being more assertive, right, it's very necessary, and I want to close out with step number five, which is really for you to work on your body language, right, and your gestures In our interpersonal skills.

Speaker 2: 43:47

Some people say, well, I didn't say anything. Why is this person upset with me? Why is my manager calling me out for something? I didn't say anything? But many times in our daily interactions there's a lot of nonverbal cues in the way we communicate, right, and that is powerful. It's just as powerful or even sometimes even more powerful than when you express words, right, it's very important that, as you are expressing yourself, your emotions sometimes come through even though you haven't used your words. So the more self-aware you are and you master your self-awareness more than anybody else right, and your own body language and what are your gestures and your facial expressions that will help you to improve your interpersonal skills. Okay, that will really help you to continue to foster these relationships. That will help you in getting yourself better position and be better at effective communication.

Speaker 2: 44:46

So you want to pay attention to yourself. You want to be more self-aware to your body language, so you want to keep your body open. With that I mean don't cross your arms when you're in meetings. Right, try to uncross them. Look at the person in the eye that's communicating closely. Now you may say I'm in a meeting or you're in a space that it's a little cold and you cross your arms, because sometimes when we cross our arms we create heat and we feel more secure. I understand that, but understand that oftentimes that's an indication that you may be uncomfortable and maybe you're not showing that you're approachable when your hands are crossed like that and when you are not having direct eye contact right. So it's important to do that Eye contact. Position your body, your postures right Into an open stance where people are saying, oh, she's open or he's open to talk, and just make sure that these nonverbal communication that you have you might be showing certain gestures with your hands.

Speaker 2: 45:46

I know that I'm Puerto Rican and I use my hands a lot, and sometimes I use my hands to emphasize a point more. From culture to culture that could be different the hand gestures. So just be very mindful of that and understand that every culture may have a different interpretation of the use of your hands. So I be very mindful of that and understand that every culture may have a different interpretation of the use of your hands. So I know that in the Latin culture we use our hands a lot and things like that. So sometimes if you notice that in the room there are folks that are not from the Latin culture, maybe you want to say hey, I use my hands a lot. Don't take no offense to that.

Speaker 2: 46:19

It's good to just sometimes express yourself from your culture, your mannerisms, different things and learn from each other. In different cultures there's different mannerisms and different selections of words that mean different things. During the retreat we learned that too, and it was so much fun to learn of other people what certain words mean. In different countries the same word that we may be using. It has a different meaning. So that's all part of our communication and gestures. They really do play a significant part in our nonverbal communication. It's so important. So be very mindful of that. Also be mindful of other people's body language. It's important for you to learn how to read other people's body language and, like I shared throughout the retreat, we were able to do that with each other.

Speaker 2: 47:05

There were times that maybe I was feeling a little tired and I had some of the ladies at different times hey, are you okay? That was not because I was screaming out, oh, I'm feeling a little tired. That was because they were able to see my body language. I could imagine my facial expression, my eyes were a little droopy, I was a little sleepy and I was right. So that means that that signal to them something's up. But let me ask, and that's the best thing to do. They didn't assume what it was and that's all part of the interpersonal skills, right? They didn't assume, they asked, and they asked in a way that there was no judgment. It was like hey, are you okay? Is everything okay? And then, when I expressed assertively what I felt, they received it and it was very impactful to me to see how these women that I didn't know before really now we're so caring. They were showing empathy, they were showing support as we were going through the retreat and unpacking some emotional items. We all did it with such empathy from the leaders to all of us as participants. It was great.

Speaker 2: 48:06

So that's so important, okay, to be very aware not only of your own nonverbal cues, but also of other people that are in the room. It's important so you can connect with them. And that lends itself to more deeper conversations, because I remember one of the ladies that asked me hey, what's going on? I said, oh, I'm a little bit tired, and that led to us having a deeper conversation on our walk to the restaurant. So that's what's the importance of being open and being more aware of yourself and be aware of your body language, the way you're feeling, your facial expressions, because sometimes that also leads to misunderstandings and conflicts.

Speaker 2: 48:46

Sometimes people misinterpret your facial expression. I know that that happens. I've known people that and that's happened to me too. When I'm not smiling and I'm just very serious, sometimes people are like are you okay? Are you mad, are you upset? And I'm not, I'm just very focused. But my facial expressions may have confused them to think that I'm upset. So that can happen. So that's why having effective communication, clarity and you knowing what, how to explain to them in a non non-defensive way oh no, I am just this, this is what, and then for them to be able to communicate. So it's a two-way street, right, because we do misinterpret, sometimes, signals. So that's why it's important for us to be aware of our body language, be aware of our stance, be very much aware. I know that over this weekend I was very self-aware. It's not to be so self-aware that now you have a complex, that every few minutes you're fidgeting with yourself. It's more for you to know. Right, be very confident in your body.

Speaker 2: 49:49

If you use your hands, you use your hands to express, but it's important to be very aware of what's the messaging that you're putting out when you are interacting with individuals or groups of people. Are your hands crossed? Are you a person that you roll your eyes up when somebody says something that you don't agree? These are the different nonverbal cues that you can be putting out. Are they supporting the meaningful relationships you want to have? Are they supporting and building trust? Or is it the opposite? And it could be you at your place of work, every time somebody asks you to do a project and you're feeling overwhelmed, maybe you roll your eyes up, maybe you speak under your breath and people are like what are you saying and you're like no, no, no, nothing. People, little by little, they're like, oh, she's upset, but they don't know why. Or it could be that it has nothing to do with the workplace, but it's something you're upset about. But it's you just practicing these techniques so you can have better relationships.

Speaker 2: 50:48

And it's so important to do things to have fun, and that's why I mentioned the retreat that I attended, because it's good to have fun and disconnect as well as learn, learning something new, being with new individuals or existing individuals that are in your life but that are fostering you to a better you right, that are contributing, that are adding value. So if you're out there in a funk, if you've been self-isolating, I encourage you to continue to stay connected to groups of people that elevate you and in that you're going to be uncomfortable. You're going to have moments that it's not comfortable to get out of your house to go out with a friend, to maybe go to the movies or to go out into an event that you don't know a lot of people, but you're trying to make new connections. It's going to be uncomfortable if you're an executive, in the leadership position, and you are saying you know what, let me get to know better my team by attending a function with the team that not necessarily I would attend. But I want to rub elbows with my team and get to know them better, but it's a little uncomfortable because I'm usually more with the executives right.

Speaker 2: 51:59

So change it up, because you want to focus on how you can improve your interpersonal skills and, in these five steps strategies that I gave you, assess yourself with each situation. Assess yourself with each of these groups of people that you interact with your friend group, your home life with your kids, your partner or your girlfriend, your friend group, your home life with your kids, your partner or your girlfriend. Right your business partners, colleagues, your clients, your executives. Right your board members. How do you communicate and how are you assertive and do things that you love and enjoy while you're practicing your interpersonal skills? So I hope that this episode really helped you to elevate your game. Step it up in your interpersonal skills so you can have better connections, stronger connections and even make more money, because as you are moving up the ranks, as you are trying to find ways to build your business or different lines of income, right Streams of income that all boils down to also the people that you know.

Speaker 2: 53:05

But, more importantly, who are you? Are you showing up authentically? And when you show up, are you assertive? Do you speak in an assertive way? Are you defensive? What is the type of personality that you bring into the mix? Who do you bring in? Do you bring in the person who is very much upset and bitter still about their past, or even upset about what's happening in their current life that could be unfair?

Speaker 2: 53:31

In the job, in the business, with the personal? Or do you learn how to be more assertive, how to be more neutral, how to connect to your inner energies that you have, that you have a lot of power within, how to elevate your energy and your vibrational frequency, elevating it to those emotions that are to empower you? This is all part of who you are and we all have, at times, struggle with being effective communicators. So don't feel bad, don't be hard on yourself If you're listening to this and you're like, wow, I'm a royal mess in all of these areas and all of these strategies. I don't think I'm as good as a effective communicator or more in my interpersonal skills. So don't feel bad, don't be hard on yourself. Get yourself moving in the direction that you want to go and get help, whether it's myself as a coach, youtube videos, whatever it be and it could be a mix of tools that you use to elevate yourself, because you are important, you're significant, you are a winner by your birthright.

Speaker 2: 54:47

So why not live a more enjoyable life? And why not live that enjoyable life, enjoying your life with great relationships in all areas of your life? That's a fulfilled life that I feel. In my opinion, for you it might be different. Having those strong relationships, building that trust with your kids, with partners, with business partners, it opens opportunities to so much more. But we have to look at how are we communicating? How are we treating others? Are we empathetic? Are we practicing compassion to others? Do we give ourselves compassion? Because a lot of the people that could be walk around being very mean and have poor communication is because they themselves are not happy with themselves and they have certain struggles. So the the more you work on you, on your inner self, the more it's going to reflect out and you're going to be able to build better relationships and you're going to have and you, you have fun.

Speaker 2: 55:44

This retreat I had so much fun it was. It was a fun women's retreat. I mean we did real business in the sense of like, working on our personal, our professional and the spiritual. It was pretty intense. However, we worked on it together and there was a group of women that came together with great interpersonal skills.

Speaker 2: 56:02

And that's what I want you to do, or to continue if you already have it and if you're interested, a special project that I am working on the Boss Chicas Club Circle of Trust for women who are 18 years and over. It's a club that it's online as well as opportunities for in person, so if you're in another state, if you're in another country, you can be part of this. However, if you're not able to travel from time to time, I would say to think about it, because we will be traveling and you have to go with a group or club that it works for you, that it resonates for you. But the Boss Chica's Club Circle of Trust is for women over the age of 18 that are looking to really work on themselves, elevate themselves, while supporting one another as well as having a coach. So I'm going to be doing group coaching there. We're going to have group coaching calls online. We are going to have so much opportunity for you as a woman to empower yourself as well as empower others and witness others really living out their best life through working together. So if you're interested, actually more than anything, I'm going to ask you to message me. I think that's the best thing. I want you to message me if you're interested, because I really want people that are women, that are serious about this and that it is a good fit.

Speaker 2: 57:29

And sometimes certain clubs are not the great fit. You know that there's many clubs right, like gyms right, and then when you really look at what they have, what they offer you as a personality, what are your values, and to see if it's aligned, it doesn't mean that one membership is not better than the other. That's not good, it's just more what are you aligned and do you fit with the club and does the club fit you, your needs? So if you're interested, in the show notes, it's information how you can email me and just email me your interest and I'll probably could set up a brief call or something for us to assess if it's a good fit for both of us and for the group. And the membership will be time sensitive. Enrollment will be limited because I want it to be intimate. So if you are very curious about it and serious about it. You're a woman over the age of 18, then message me in the show notes. I have the information for you to email me and I will definitely hook up with you.

Speaker 2: 58:28

Okay, so this was great. Make sure to like to comment. Let me know how you like this episode, share it with others that you may feel that they need it. Let me know how you liked it. Let me know if there are other topics that we can unpack here, and make sure that you are taking good care of yourself and of each other. Till next time. Stay well Besitos.