The Consoling with Pastor Ben Carruthers

Five people stand near Jesus as he suffers on the cross, and that detail changes how I read John 19. While so many disappear into fear, Mary, Mary Magdalene, Salome, Mary the wife of Clopas, and John stay close enough to be counted. That’s not just courage. It’s a picture of Christian community being formed in real time, where love is stronger than reputation, comfort, or self-protection.

We walk through who each person is and what their presence says about discipleship. Mary of Clopas is almost unknown, yet she shows up. Salome has a history of misunderstanding Jesus, yet she refuses to abandon him. Mary Magdalene carries a story of healing and transformation that helps us name the way oppression and shame can crush a life until Jesus restores it. John, likely young, stays when the other disciples run, and Jesus entrusts him with Mary’s care, creating family through faithfulness.

Then we bring it home to the loneliness epidemic. Even with constant digital connection, isolation is rising, with serious effects on mental health and physical health, and kids are often hit the hardest. The question becomes painfully practical: who is your community when you’re broken, confused, grieving, or celebrating? And if you don’t have one, what step can you take today to start building it through the church, small groups, and consistent relationships.

If this message challenges you, share it with a friend who needs real support, subscribe for more from Journey to the Cross, and leave a review so more people can find a path from loneliness to community.

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Transcript

Cold Morning And Mic Trouble

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Well, good morning. My name is Ben Carruthers, I'm an associate pastor here at Central. And man, the day or the difference a day makes, huh? Yesterday was National Clean Out Your Garage Day. And it was gorgeous, man. Kids were playing outside, and uh we had our windows open. Is this me? Am I doing that? Is that my luscious locks getting in the way? Um, you know, we we we were outside playing, opened all the windows, had that nice spring breeze, turned the heat off, went to bed, didn't turn the heat back on, left all the windows open, woke up this morning like at two, and it was 42 degrees in our house. I know what you're thinking. Incredible, amazing, it was awesome. I had some kidsicles this morning when they woke up.

SPEAKER_00 0:49

Uh, I'm gonna I'm gonna switch this out.

SPEAKER_02 1:24

Check. There we go. That works.

Journey To The Cross Series Map

SPEAKER_01 1:28

Okay, we're back, folks. That's great. Okay. Well, different day makes, different hot cold. Here we go. Okay. Well, yeah, so glad you're here, worship with us one. We are in the middle of the sermon series called Journey to the Cross, where we have been walking with Christ in his last moments before his crucifixion and resurrection. And so over the past few weeks, you can kind of check on our chart here if you've been with us. We started with the arrest, move to the trial, really the injustice of the trials. Jesus went through more than just one trial, maybe like four trials, and they were all injustice trials, every single one of them. And so that's really how his morning or evening started. Then we talked about walking with the cross to Golgotha. Last week we all tuned in online because the Snonami and Sonia preached about the mocking of Jesus. And this morning, maybe, we're going to talk about the consoling, this incredible piece of scripture that you just heard of Jesus on the cross and his mother at his feet. And Jesus says these words woman, behold your son, and says to the disciple John, behold your mother. Here is your mother. It's this incredible, beautiful picture. We've probably heard it before, seen it before. And but what I want to do this morning is maybe look at it a little different. Not the consoling piece, but in that small piece of scripture, something there is something's forming there that's pretty incredible. I might, I might go to a wireless. Yeah, I'm gonna go to a wireless because apparently the hair's check, check.

SPEAKER_02 3:10

There we go. Okay. Tank three.

Why These Five Stand Here

Mary Of Clopas And The Unknown

Salome And The Awkward Ask

Mary Magdalene And Oppression

John The Beloved Disciple Stays

Mary The Mother And The Sword

Love Creates Community At Risk

The Loneliness Epidemic Today

When Real Community Surprises You

Find Your People And Reach Out

SPEAKER_01 3:20

Okay. So there's this incredible picture, this incredible scene is unfolding. But here in this scripture, it's important enough for John to tell us about these five people who are at the foot of the cross. It's important enough for him and other gospel writers to mention these people at the cross. And there's five of them. And it gets a little confusing because there's four women, and three out of the four women are named Mary. But there's four women at the foot of the cross, some of which we know, we hear those names mentioned. We're like, we're familiar. And then, of course, there's the disciple that Christ loved, John. And I couldn't find a picture with everyone, so I did this myself. I don't need AI, I can do it myself. So here's this scene where Jesus is handing over the responsibilities of caring for his mother to this young disciple John. And at the foot of the cross is this community of people. This community of people brought there for what reason? Because it's not just they're out for a Sunday stroll and they see what's happened and they go and check it out. They are there possibly risking their lives. Being at the foot of cross, at the cross of Christ is risking their life to be there. So when we dive into this passage, I yes, I do want to talk about the consoling of Mary and what Jesus is doing there and this handing off to John, and that's a part of it. But I want us to step a little bit back and see that there's something happening here that shows us the importance of community. And it might be a community that we might not think is what's supposed to go together. So this morning I want to go through and answer these questions. Who are these people at the foot of the cross? Why are they, and what is happening in that moment where Jesus consoles his mother Mary? So as we dive into that passage of scripture, will you please pray with me? God will give you thanks and praise this morning. Man, first off, for these baptism families, you know, it's so cool that on a morning where we're talking about the importance of community, that you bring this community here, friends and families to support these young ones in their faith journey and their faith walk. You bring them here into this larger body of community. Lord, as we dive into this passage where you say these words to Mary and to John, we pray that we can see you forming a community of people here. We pray that we can see the importance of community in our lives. And Lord, I pray that by the end of this thing, if we have the courage and the strength to look in our own lives and realize that we are missing it, that you give us the courage to seek it. It's in your name we pray. Amen. So, five people at the foot of the cross. We're gonna go through them, talk a little bit about them, see what we know about them. And the first one is this in John 19, you'll see the passage again. Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother's sister, and Mary, the wife of Klopus. Mary the wife of Clopus. Now, I dug through the scriptures, dug through commentaries to find what I could about what we know about Mary, the wife of Klopus. And I put it together on the slide for you. So, this is what we know about Mary. Next slide. No, I'm just kidding. This is it. Nothing. This is the only part in scripture where she's mentioned. Mary, the wife of Kloppus, that's it. Now, there are thoughts and there are ideas of who she maybe possibly might be. One of those is maybe she's Joseph's sister, so Mary's mother-in-law. There's not a lot of evidence that supports that, but it's possible. But this is what we really know about her. And this woman, Mary, is important enough to be mentioned in John's gospel, and she's at the foot of the cross, a place that could mean death for her. And she is there. Why? What brings her there when we know nothing about her story? I want you to remember her because we're going to come back. The second person we have, see, we have five people. We're going to cruise through this thing, man. 30 seconds of pop. We're good. Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, and that says, his mother's sister. His mother's sister. Now, in scripture, in other parts of the gospel, we find her name to be Saloon. Saloon. So this is Mary's sister. So this woman can be like, well, we can understand this a little bit. She probably knew Jesus, maybe walked with Jesus even. Obviously, she had a connection with Mary. But what we find in Scripture is that Saloon had a very awkward interaction with Jesus. In the Gospel of Matthew, it says this. Then the mother of Zebedee's sons, which is who we're talking about. So James and John came to Jesus with their sons. They were also nicknamed the sons of thunder. Pretty great nickname, not bad. And so her and her sons, kneeling down, asked Jesus a favor. What is it you want? He asked. She said, Grant that one of these two sons of mine may sit at your right and the other at your left in the kingdom of heaven. So here we have Silo coming before Jesus with her sons, James and John, the sons of thunder. And they were called that because they were very bold and brash. And she's like, Listen, Jesus, something's happening here. Maybe she doesn't have it all figured out. Maybe she doesn't really get that he is the Son of God, the Messiah, the one they've been waiting for. But something's happening, some uproar is happening in Rome, and something's going to happen with Jesus at the center of it. And she wants her boys to be a part of it. Not just a part of it, but she wants them in the positions of power, the positions of responsibility. And so she goes up to Jesus, says, Hey, you know me, I'm Salome. You're familiar with my sons, sons of thunder. You know them. How about whatever you, whatever it is you're doing, when it happens, how about my boys are at the left and the right? How about my boys are your top two commanders, your top two admirals, your go-to guys? This is a mother wanting everything for her sons, by the way. But in this interaction, it doesn't go the way she's expecting. Jesus says to her, You do not know what you are asking. And he kind of rebukes Siloam. It's an incredible, awkward moment. It's kind of like that mom who goes up to the coach of the football team and says, Hey, I want, I would love my son to start at quarterback. And the coach is like, which one is he? He's the one over there doing circles, eating grass. Like, that's the one I think he should start. It's this awkward moment because she goes to Jesus, maybe thinking this is gonna happen. She, my sons are well known within the disciples. And Jesus says, You don't get it. You're missing the point. And this goes on to say, well, the first shall be last and the last shall be first. That whole teaching by Jesus. And so she has this awkward interaction with Jesus. Now, if we have an awkward interaction with someone in our lives, the last thing that we're gonna do is then run in harm's way because of that person. Put our life on the line because of that person. And yet here she is. Even though this awkward conversation happened, even Jesus had to rebuke her a little bit, she's still at the foot of the cross. And then we have another Mary. Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother's sister, Mary, the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. Mary Magdalene is one that we've probably heard the story of. We know her name. She's here at the cross. She's also one of the people at the resurrection. She's the Mary at the tomb, the empty tomb. She has this interaction with Jesus that we just read very shortly, very briefly in the Gospels about her interaction with Jesus. Doesn't even explain really what happened. We just hear about her. In Luke chapter 8, it says this. After this, Jesus traveled about from uh traveled about from one town and village to another, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom of God. The twelve were with him, and also some women who have been cursed by evil spirits and diseases. And among them, the gospel writer points out, Mary called Magdalene, from whom seven demons had come out. This is what we know about Mary Magdalene. No, we can dive into her story a little bit more. We can find out that she was probably a very wealthy woman. Uh, Magdalene is a reference to where she was from, Magdala, which is a very wealthy area, it means castle. Her last name means castle or fortress. So it probably means she's very wealthy. But this is what we know in the gospels. This is the first thing we hear about her, is that she was possessed or infected by seven demons. Now, our mind might go to Hollywood right away and be like, man, I've seen those movies. It doesn't work out well for those people, right? We don't, this is kind of a mysterious part of all this kind of stuff. And I don't think it's literal that she was filled with seven demons, maybe I don't know. But what I do know is that we see the effects of evil in our world on us today. You see, I think evil, Satan, the devil, the adversary, whatever you want to label it, works with oppression. And what I mean by that, and I do this illustration with the youth all the time, is if I had an egg in my hand, and if if there was perfect eggshell, no holes, no nothing in it, if I was to put pressure all around that egg, that eggshell will hold. It won't break. But if I was to put a microscopic pinprick of a hole in that egg and put a little bit of pressure, the whole egg crumbles. See, that's what I think evil looks like. Is it watches for your weakness. It watches for that tiny hole in your armor. And maybe that's the lie about you're not lovable. Maybe that's a lie that says that you're not worthy. Whatever that lie is, evil presses in on that until we break, until we crumble. This is what I think we're talking about with Mary Magdalene. And I think there's many people in this room that can say, I've been there. I've had the pressures of this world push on me so hard that I am broken and I crumble. I know what it's like. I think there are people in this room right now going through it. I can relate to this. I know what it's like to feel like nothing, to feel worthless, to feel broken. And it's that moment in her life, complete brokenness, that Jesus comes in and saves her. Saves her from that feeling, saves her from those lives, saves her from that oppression. And from that moment on, she is a faithful disciple to Jesus. Faithful to the point where she's willing to risk her life at the foot of the cross, faithful enough that she is one of the few that is at the tomb at the resurrection. She never gave up hope that Jesus was who he said he was. She had a transformational experience. So when we ask the question, why are these people there? This one might be a little bit more obvious. But she's there. And then, of course, we have the disciple whom Jesus loved. John 19 says this when Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, Woman, here is your son. And to the disciple, here is your mother. From that time on, this disciple took her into his home. So this comes from the book of John. John is the one writing this. John is at the foot of the cross. John is the one referring to himself as the one whom Jesus loved. Now, if you go into the other gospels, I did this, I was curious. I'm like, I but the other people have to refer to him the same. They don't. It's just John. And I'm like, man, the kind of boldness and brashness of this guy. And really, kid. It's believed that when John started in his walk with Christ, he was a teenager. And it's believed at this time in his story, he's maybe 20 years old. And they believe that only because Jesus hands Mary off to him and the responsibility of caring for him. And they believe that he might probably must have been around 20 years old. So he's a young guy, brash, bold, sons of thunder. Of course he'd probably stay the one that Jesus loves. But that's not what he means. When he says the disciple whom Christ loved, John gets it. It's not a bold statement, an arrogant statement. What he's saying and meaning in that is that God so much loved him that even though John wasn't worthy of that love, he still loved him. And that's why he says it that way, because it's such a big deal. Why would God love me? But yet he does. It's almost a reminder to himself. It's not an arrogant thing, it's not a bold brash thing. It's the fact that he gets it. He gets the love that God has for him. And it's that love that brings him to the foot of the cross. Where are the ten others? John's there, Judas is gone at this point. Where are the other ten? They're locked behind closed doors. They're on the run. They're scared. Because being seen at the foot of the cross could absolutely mean death. And here's this young 20-year-old follower of Christ who gets it. And so Jesus looks down and sees him and says, You are the one that's going to take care of my mom. Not my older brothers and sisters, which would have been normal. In that time, in that community, it was the oldest son that would take care of the mom, and that would be Jesus. And Jesus had brothers and sisters. But Jesus says, It's you. Because you get it. Because you're here. That's John. And of course, our last one at the foot of the cross. Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, Mary. There's no question why she's there. There's no question at all why Mary's there. There's something pretty special about being a parent. And from the stuff that I read, too, there's a there's definitely a unique bond between mother and son in particular. Rudyard Kipling, the guy who wrote the jungle book, he wrote a lot of things, a lot of books, and his mother was his biggest fan. Always spoke about how he loved his books, always spoke about how he loved his writings, until one day he wrote a book called The Light That Failed. The Light That Failed. She read this book and she hated the ending. The ending wasn't like his normal books, where it was happy, uplifting, everybody wins in the end. It was depressing and sad. And she told everyone she knew about it that she did not like this book. And she had a special bong with her son, and so a couple weeks later, Mr. Kipling publishes this poem. If I were hanged on the highest hill, mother oh mine, mother oh mine, I know whose love would follow me still, mother oh mine, mother oh mine. If I were drowned in the deepest sea, mother oh mine, mother oh mine, I know whose tears would come down to me, Mother O mine, Mother O mine. If I were damned of body and soul, I know whose prayers would make me whole, mother oh mine, mother oh mine. He published that with a I'm sorry note for his mom because of his sad, depressing book. Parents have a unique bond with their kids. Mothers have a unique bond with their sons. We know why he's there. Parents are gonna do everything and anything possible for their kids. Anything. When I just uh when I was in middle school, going into fifth grade, uh you had to have band class, and I really wanted to be a drummer. And they had these rules back then where you had to have at least two years of piano experience before you could be a percussionist. I had zero years of piano to be a percussionist. And I told my mom this, I was devastated. I was like, oh man, I don't want to do anything, I just want to play drums. And she's like, I'll call the school. That was on a Friday. Monday, I was a drummer at school. Don't know. Mama Carruthers went in there and took care of it. I was drumming. Parents will do anything. My wife is in a group of people, she's very timid and maybe even shy and doesn't like to be in the spotlight. Isn't that right, honey? But you get hurt at a sporting event of one of my kids, our kids, we're together. And she changes. We have these video clips of us watching football of our son Arlo Play football. And I'm sitting there in my chair, you know, hmm, ruin them on, and all you can hear in the video is she like turns into the incredible Hulk. It's awesome. Parents will do anything for their kid. There's a story in uh Vancouver, uh Canada, where this mother, Maureen Lee, saved her three-year-old from a cougar attack, jumped in and fought off the cougar and survived. There's a story, a news clipping actually that goes back to 1982, where this 50-year-old woman, Angela Cavallo, lifted a 64 Chevy Impala off her son Tony. Now, I'm not probably like enough to save his life. Parents will do everything and anything for their children. There's no question. Mary was there from the beginning. She changed him, she nursed him, raised him, taught him, corrected him, managed a house where scripture tells us. He had brothers and sisters, and scriptures tell us in the gospels, it tells us that his brothers and sisters didn't believe who he was. Could you imagine managing that household where you have one person saying, you know, I'm the son of God, this things are going to change. And the rest of his brothers and sisters are like, Man, enough of that. She's managing that household. She's been there from the beginning. She was there from her first miracle, the wedding at Cana, water and a wine. You know the story, they were running out of wine, and Mary goes to Jesus and says, Hey, they're running out of wine. Wink wink. And he says this. He says, Woman, my time has not yet come. And what's really cool about that is what is he, how does he refer to her here at the cross? Woman. And we can read that as man, it's kind of disrespectful to call your mother or a woman. In our days, you don't do that. There's a Greek word that's used in both spots called gune. And he uses it here as an incredible act of respect towards his mom. She's been there from the beginning. She's there at the end. Parents will do everything. And this is an incredible part of her story. Is that she is at the foot of the cross. And I wonder if she remembers this. This comes from the book of Luke. Right after Jesus was born, they bring him to the temple. Simeon, who'd been waiting years for this, by the way. Scripture tells us Simeon's been waiting years. Simeon blessed them and said to Mary, his mother, This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And listen to this. He looks at Mary and says these words, and a sword will pierce your soul too. That's the only way that I can imagine what she's going through and what she's feeling at the foot of the cross. That her heart is being speared by a sword. So much pain and so much hurt. These are our cast of characters at the foot of the cross. And why is it important? It's important because each and every single one of them are risking their lives to be there. Some believe that they're there and it's not a big deal because four of them are women, and back then, women, you know, weren't looked upon as a threat. They didn't have much power, and John's just a young pup, he's just 20. There's no threat there. William Barclay, who does a bunch of, he's a theologian and does a bunch of biblical commentary, he says that's garbage. That's garbage. What Jesus was doing in the city of Rome, the amount of people and the amount of power that was trying to get Jesus and every person that had anything to do with them out of that town. Doesn't matter if you were a child, a woman, if you're at the foot of that cross, you're in danger. So why these five people? Mary, obvious. Mary Magdalene, sure. John, yeah. Salome? What about Mary, the wife of Kloppas, who we know nothing about? This is the community that is formed at the foot of the cross. They're not there for fame. They're not there for fortune. They're not there hoping that someday, many years down the road, a long-haired preacher is going to get up and say my name in a sermon. They're there for one thing and one thing alone, and it's love. The love of Christ has brought them together. And I would go as far as this. I would say it's not just the love of Christ that they had, but it's the love for one another. It's the love that they had in that community, which we don't know how it came to be, why it's there, but there they are. Perfect love drives out fear. John 15, 13, greater love says more than this, than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends. They're risking their life. And they're there. Their love for Christ, love for each other has brought them together, cast out their fear, brought them together for this moment with the hurting, with the brokenness, with the piercing of their heart. Central, this is what community looks like. This is what community looks like to come together, to lift each other up, to have faith for us when we don't, to have help for us when we have doubts and fear, to live together in this community. It is what is needed in the world and it's what is lacking in the world. I went online and looked at all this information about loneliness and isolation. There's an incredible like 45 put together and speaks about it, how this is the most lonely time in the world. 50% of adults feel lonely. And these effects are having physical effects: heart attacks, type 2 diabetes, depression, suicide, early death. In a time in our world where we can hop on our phone and be connected to anyone, anywhere, anytime, we are the most alone the world has ever seen. And you know who has it the worst? The kids. Studies show that it affects youth and kids the most. Because we're missing this sense of community, the sense of community that was at the foot of the cross in Jesus' last moments. We're missing that community. So Central Lutheran Church, who is your community? Who do you go to when you feel broken? Who do you go to when you're hurting? Who do you go to when you're confused? Who do you go to when you want to celebrate? When you want to lift each other up. Who is your community? And I'll leave you with this. At the foot of the cross, there's a community there, and it might not look like the people you'd expect to see. It's not the disciples, it's this random group of people that have come together over love. So community might not look who you think it is. Years ago, my story's crazy, a lot of you have heard it. But when in my story, when I went through the lowest time of my life where I feel that a sword had pierced my heart of my own doing, I was very fortunate to have an amazing family that surrounded me with love and good group of friends. But when things got really bad, when they might have to risk something by saying they know me, by being a part of my life, they fled. I don't blame them. I don't blame them. You look down something, it looks terrifying, it looks horrible, it could affect your life, your family. I might have bailed. But it wasn't the ones who you thought. It was the ones who I was in Bible studies with, went to church with, prayed in worship teams with. Those are the ones who left. I had some that stayed. And one in particular that stayed that you wouldn't have thought it. He's a good friend of mine, one of my best friends. He was at my wedding. He uh he drinks a little too much, smokes a lot, so there's a lot of bad words. But he loves me. If he were to walk down this aisle right here, every head would turn and be like, what is he doing here? But that's who was at me. That's who had my back. That's who risked it all to be my community. So community might not look what you think it might look like. So central ask again, who's your community? And if you answer that question with I don't know or I have none, please reach out to someone here today. Peter's in the back, he's the one who did announce it. He runs our journey groups. Man, he would love to talk to you and get you put in a journey group to start building that community. Because it's an incredible story of Jesus handing off the responsibilities of his mother to his beloved disciple. But it's also a reminder to us the importance of community. Amen.