Living Catholic with Father Don Wolf
Father Don Wolf, a priest of the Archdiocese of Oklahoma City, offers a Catholic perspective on the issues confronting each person today.
Living Catholic with Father Don Wolf
Sacred Silence Under Siege | June 22, 2025
Imagine going to confession, only to discover that what you whisper through that screen might be reported to the authorities. That's the reality Catholic priests and penitents now face in Washington State, which recently passed legislation requiring priests to report confessions of child abuse to police.
In this episode, Father Wolf examines Washington State's recently passed bill requiring priests to report confessions of child abuse to authorities, explaining why this law threatens an essential Catholic sacrament and represents government overreach into religious practice.
• The seal of confession is absolute, with priests who violate it facing automatic excommunication
• Human beings have a universal desire to confess and be known, as evidenced by phenomena from podcasts to support groups
• Confession provides a protected space allowing people to reveal their deepest truths without fear of exposure
• The Washington law is practically unenforceable and won't effectively address child abuse
• The legislation represents a clash between the Catholic understanding of forgiveness and the state's belief that certain sins are unforgivable
• When government attempts to regulate sacramental practice, it overreaches its legitimate authority
• No priest will comply with this law, as it contradicts fundamental promises made at ordination
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Father Don Wolf is a priest of the Archdiocese of Oklahoma City. Living Catholic also broadcasts on Oklahoma Catholic Radio several times per week, with new episodes airing every Sunday.
This is Living Catholic with Father Don Wolfe. This show deals with living the Catholic faith in our time, discovering God's presence in our lives and finding hope in His Word. And now your host, father Don Wolfe.
Speaker 2:Welcome Oklahoma to Living Catholic. I'm Father Don Wolfe, pastor of Sacred Heart Parish and rector of the Shrine of Blessed Stanley Rother in Oklahoma City. Washington State has just passed a bill requiring that priests who hear confessions of child abuse are to report what they hear to the police. This bill was passed recently in a shocking display of interference in the life and the ministry of priests, but as a follow-on to other bills passed recently in the English-speaking world. This legislative initiative was most notably the case in Australia just a few years ago, and it's now made its way across the ocean. Needless to say, it places the Catholic Church in an uncomfortable position, not to mention what it does for confessors. So what's going on? While there are no secret recordings or private papers that I could consult among those who wrote and passed this bill, I do have some opinions about what indeed is going on, and it's not pretty.
Speaker 2:First of all, we have to remember that the seal of confession is an aspect of the life of a priest taken most seriously by church law, and I mean seriously. If a priest violates the seal of confession by revealing what he was told in a confessional, he is, by virtue of the revealing, excommunicated. That is, there is no court or hearing that determines he did something wrong. He is, by virtue of the act, separated from the life of the church at that moment and he must appeal to the Pope in Rome in order to be restored to the church. Which is to say, the penalty for violation of this confidentiality is about as serious as there is, and priests take it seriously. Of course pastors talk with one another about their parishioners and the problems and confusions they have, and of course we gab with one another about what we face in our day-to-day work, just as the members of all professions do, and some priests are very funny when they're describing the teacup dramas their people bring to them. Others are deeply serious as they analyze what's going on among their parishioners and in society at large as they wrestle with the challenges they face.
Speaker 2:But in all of this, no matter how raucous a party might get or how intense a conversation might be, priests don't talk about the confessions they hear. It's not done. I say all that because I know doctors and lawyers and counselors are also bound by a professional ethic of confidentiality. But that being the case, I've heard some doctors and lawyers and counselors go on and on about their cases, sometimes with only the thinnest veil of discretion, separating their people from the fullest revelation of their problems. Spending some time with them is something of a strip tease. Often the veil of anonymity is almost dropped or positioned so artfully that more is revealed by hiding the disclosure than would be the case by dropping the pretense completely, and for the most part, in the years I've spent around priests, that is not the case.
Speaker 2:We don't talk about the people who come to the confessional. It's because we know the value inherent in the seal we are to honor. How could anyone come to be reconciled, exposing themselves openly and completely and at the same time be afraid the revelations are going to be exposed and revealed to others? No one has to be Jack the Ripper to be afraid of having the depth of his life open for public viewing.
Speaker 2:Self-knowledge is a product of growth in the spiritual life. Fear of that knowledge becoming the common property of the whole community is legitimate. This fear is often a destructive obstacle to anyone who's interested in true growth. We're born with a desire to be known, which means our hunger to reveal ourselves is rooted in the deepest part of our being, and our sincere contact with this hunger in us and our satisfaction of it is a great part of the growth in our spiritual lives, especially when we come to know the promise of Christ's accompaniment in every part of ourselves. Coming to know ourselves is to come to know Christ, and there's no surer way to self-knowledge than self-revelation to another. It's not rocket science, it's been known for all of humanity.
Speaker 2:Confession is a hunger written into our souls, which is why our entertainment industry has an entire niche dedicated to confession. Now, it's not a priest vested in a stole listening behind a confessional screen oh, were that the case. No, it's Joe Rogan sitting at a microphone talking to someone about his life for two hours, exploring what he thinks and feels. It's Oprah Winfrey, who's become the richest self-made woman in the US, listening to the confessions of her guests on her TV show as they reveal themselves to her and by her, to the millions of people listening. It's the redneck revelations of Jerry Springer and his epigones, who troll the deepest level of dysfunction and anger in our society, tricking people into telling us more about themselves than they really want to. All of these are no more than windows into the soul of humanity as it cries out to be known. All of these people make billions of dollars listening to confessions.
Speaker 2:This hunger to confess is the basis of the sacramental dynamic for reconciliation. Just as the sacrament of the Eucharist is built on the human desire to eat and drink with one another, so the sacrament of confession is built on our desire to know and to be known to one another. Which is to say, all of us confess and all of us want to be known. And the church makes use of this hunger and leverages it so as to effect an experience of reconciliation among those who have sinned. The supernatural is built on the natural. The sacrament of God's grace of forgiveness is built on this most fundamental human desire to be known. This is an important and necessary element in our understanding of the sacrament of confession, both for our experience of it as well as for the apologetics of Catholic practice.
Speaker 2:Often here in Protestant Oklahoma, we're challenged to explain why it is that Catholics have to go to confession in order to be forgiven, while other Christians simply turn to God and receive the forgiveness offered by the blood of Jesus. It would seem they say we've simply put an unnecessary step and have interfered with the authentic reconciling love Christ offers. Have you heard that before? Have you thought that before? Have you thought it yourself or have you used it as a justification for not going to confession yourself? It's a common explanation or evasion of why not to visit the confessional. But since all of us want to be known, we all want to confess.
Speaker 2:Think of the jokes that begin with a man at the bar who's nursing his third cocktail and turns to the person next to him and says my wife doesn't understand me. It's a trope so common we let it pass because it simply prepares us to listen to what follows. But if we listen first to the sentiment, we're tipped off to the truth. The man at the bar wants to be known and he's not. The man at the bar wants to be known and he's not. With this basic hunger unsatisfied, he goes in another direction. It's the basis of humor, not because the joke always ends up with the man being a cad, but because we all recognize it for what it is a confession of a hunger that we all share. Everyone desires to be known, so everyone eventually wants to confess himself. It's not just a Catholic thing, although it is a Catholic insight that seems to be lost on most people, including a lot of Catholics.
Speaker 2:Think back a couple of years ago, to the men's movement Promise Keepers. Huge stadiums full of men would gather to listen to the challenge of masculine capabilities and ideals and how they had so often not lived up to those ideals. They wanted to be the embodiment of the promises implicit in their lives, but they had often failed to do so. In the gatherings, the leaders would have the men in the stands turn to one another and describe the times they had failed to keep a promise or to be the honorable men they wanted to be. It was a group confession in which a man could describe himself and his life to another person. These men wanted to be known. They wanted also the failures of their lives to be known, so that they could begin something new. Relieving the burden of hiddenness and secrecy, all of which is contrary to the fundamental humanity of every man, is the way to begin to return to the dignity of real manliness. That's what the organizers wanted when they invited each man to unburden the other. It was an evangelical Christian attenuated understanding of a sacrament, a group experience of what is commonly done most intimately and more satisfactorily in every Catholic church in the world, but it was a sacramental experience nonetheless.
Speaker 2:Confessing is what we all hunger to do, and we know it. This is why the church opens this experience to all who seek to be reconciled to the Lord. Confessing opens a gate in the heart, and when the gate is open, the truth of the gospel can filter in in a way not available when the gate is closed. After all, what's the premier obstacle to reconciliation? Jesus died for our sins 20 centuries ago. The work of reconciling love has been performed for all of us for all time, and yet, all this being done and said, we stew in our sins and wallow in our faults. And why do we do this? Because we don't have access to the gift God wishes for us. We prop up the obstacles to the truth of this gift by our shame and fear, overcoming our natural desire for self-disclosure and right relationship. Confession is the most effective way to move this obstacle out of the way, the most conducive way to allow the truth of the gospel to penetrate into the depths of our lives.
Speaker 2:Going to confession isn't an imposed burden on the life of a faithful Catholic. It's the opportunity to experience what can't normally be obtained otherwise, just as all the other sacraments are gifts wrapped in newspaper. We might not notice how special it is because it looks too everyday to be special, but in fact it's the great Christmas gift we're all waiting for. There is discretion, of course. The paradox is that, to be known with integrity and humanity, the one confessing needs to know that he will be honored in his self-revelation. That is, the disclosure of the fullness of his life will be accepted as it is the fullness of his life and not a salacious exploitation of his weakness or his brokenness. The one disclosing himself has to know he's being honored, not cursed, by the exposing of the truth of himself, which is why the one going to confession has to know he will be protected by the confidentiality of the seal of confession. To do anything less is to make him less than human. It's the reason the powerful movement dedicated to restoring the humanity of those distorted by addiction is called Alcoholics Anonymous.
Speaker 2:It's not uncommon, I've found, for someone to face the wrenching difficulty of disclosing himself in confession, braving the cost of finally sharing the truth of his life with a priest in order to be reconciled with God and with the truth of his life In confession. I've had people admit to me they have not revealed the truth of their life for 50 years or more because of the shame they feel about it. But the next day I've heard them get up in front of a group and tell everyone the exact things they told me, because they're not bound by shame any longer. But they first had to be heard and their humanity had to be guarded in order for the freedom they were looking for to be granted to them. When their humanity is returned to them, then they can begin to receive the gift of reconciliation.
Speaker 2:But Washington State says this gift can't be given without first informing the police. That is to say, they insist that there is a certain category of sin that can't be confessed and forgiven unless the priest also inform those who are to take responsibility for scooping up those who commit this sin. Anyone can go to confession and the priest can forgive any one of the sins they commit, but according to them, he has to tell the police who committed the particular sin of child sexual abuse. Unless this is done, the priest has broken the law and can be prosecuted. And before we get into a discussion of what the proponents of the law say they're doing, let's get another thing clear If the state can compel a priest to disclose when someone has committed sexual abuse, then it can compel him to disclose when someone has cheated on his taxes or has been unfaithful to his spouse or has used bad words. Once the seal of confession is pierced, no matter how noble the reason, then it lies and tatters and is useless. On Monday if I'm compelled to report sexual abuse, then on Tuesday I can be compelled to report party affiliation, so that on Wednesday it'll be anger at the mayor and on Thursday disagreement with the school curriculum or anything else the legislators decide is worthy of their concern. No matter what's said, the effect is to destroy the seal of confession completely and in every case.
Speaker 2:So to the truth of this legislation. First of all, it's completely unenforceable. How would the state be able to convict a priest for not providing the information necessary? It wouldn't be possible unless they could find someone who had recorded what he had said to the priest and could also prove that the information had been given in a way that the priest knew who the one confessing really was. Most confessionals, including ours, have options for anonymity. How could the state prove the priest knew beyond question who had confessed what? Is the state ready to send someone into the confessional, ready to identify himself and then confess sexual abuse? Is the state willing to entrap a confessor so as to make sure the law is being enforced. If someone is an abuser and goes to confession and then admits to law enforcement that he confessed and the priest didn't report him, how would the police know whether the report is true or false? Beware of laws that are unenforceable. They're passed for symbolic reasons and symbolic legislative products are manipulative and dangerous. Second, it'll have no impact on child sexual abuse. What's the proof that sexual abusers have hidden behind the protection of the confessional or that priests have shielded abusers with absolution? Are Catholics who go to confession more likely or less likely to abuse than, say, muslim grandfathers or Jehovah's Witnesses' uncles or Seventh-day Adventist next-door neighbors or Presbyterian gardeners? Just exactly what is the causal connection between confession and hidden abuse? How is the dynamic improved by destroying the Catholic understanding of confession? None of that is spelled out in the law.
Speaker 2:Thirdly, forcing priests to turn over information simply makes the one going to confession more indefinite. Is the confessor supposed to grill everyone who comes in and says he violated the sixth commandment? Are we supposed to drill down through every statement about the sin committed to make sure whether it was a violation of the civil law or not? When someone confesses adultery? Are we to find out with whom and where? Or if someone says something about underage activity? Are we to assess ages, dates, places, events and circumstances? Are confessors required to provide only a statement that a certain penitent said he did something inappropriate with a minor, or is the priest to report the content of the confession and let the police decide what's important and what's not?
Speaker 2:Again, the legislation is symbolic, not actual. It exists only to punish priests, not to catch perpetrators. And fourthly, no priest will conform to this law. No one will act to break the seal of confession. It's against the promises we make and the expectations of what we do. The law is passed only to threaten priests and to condemn the church, not to catch sexual abusers or to protect the innocent. If the legislatures did want to initiate a new way of protecting young people, they could, for example, provide the legislative means to have school districts share personnel records and disciplinary decisions and thus head off the interesting personnel practice of quote passing the trash unquote as employees move from one school district to another. But that legislation is unpopular as well as unenforceable, and so it's not done. It's much easier to pass an unenforceable law that no one will sue the state over or complain about human rights violations. The only real effect is to make every priest in Washington state potentially guilty of the accusation of disobeying the law.
Speaker 2:So why pass such a law? It's because the state presumes on its right to its religious practice. Now that sounds odd, especially since we're talking about Washington state, one of the most secular states in the country. On the floor of the statehouse, nobody has debated how many sacraments there are, or whether women should be ordained, or what the operation of prevenient grace is. How could the state legislators be anxious about its religious practices if it doesn't have any?
Speaker 2:And the answer is simple the state of Washington disagrees with the Catholic Church about how the sin of child sexual abuse should be forgiven. In the Catholic Church, every sin is forgivable, even one committed against the dignity of another. Those who commit such sins can't just walk away as if nothing has been done. They have to repent, they have to commit to changing their behavior and they have to do all they can to repair the damage they have done. Engaging in the reparation occasioned by such a sin isn't easy and it's not automatic, but the sin is capable of being forgiven and the sinner restored to the fullness of life and humanity and grace. That's the teaching of the church.
Speaker 2:The state, on the other hand, is certain that this forgiveness is not possible. Child sexual abuse is in the category of unforgivable sinfulness, and the state doesn't allow anyone to escape without paying the fullest price. At least no one is supposed to escape. Everybody acknowledges that most abusers, even the one in public institutions, are not identified or caught. But that's not the point. The point is that those who are identified are required to be entered into the state definition of unforgiveness and never be allowed to be thought of as restored or reestablished.
Speaker 2:The state of Washington isn't afraid that abusers are slipping through the net because they go to confession. It is afraid that abusers are being forgiven by going to confession, and no appeal to sense or custom or propriety will be enough. The legislature is convinced there is only one appropriate response to this problem in society, and so they will not be deterred by the church's sense of forgiveness and sin. The state's not interested to countenance any other understanding of sin and salvation than its own, and it will have its way, no matter what the price. The law's negligible effect on uncovering abusers, its unenforceability, its impropriety, its disruptive effects are all beside the point in this legislation. It exists in order to cajole the church into understanding and agreeing with this alternative definition of how to address sins and how to forgive them.
Speaker 2:Without a doubt, it is a threat to the integrity of the church. Having the state to the integrity of the church, having the state define the terms of the sacramentality of confession or the contours of pastoral practice, puts it in the business of defining the effects of grace and the presence of Christ. And once the state can do that, then it becomes not only the enemy of the church but its executioner. However, this position is also a threat to the integrity of the government. After all, passing an unenforceable law diminishes not only the church but takes away from the efficacy of the government itself. An open-ended, unenforceable law, liable to be used only on the initiative of an undisclosed agenda, weakens everyone's confidence in the operation of the government beyond the exercise of pure power. Bad law makes for bad outcomes. And one more thing Insisting the state has a say in what happens between priest and penitent is a long overreach. While some might insist, the legislators are simply being responsible to their constituents, the results are dangerous. Remember, when the state insists it should be everywhere, doing everything, with no other possible outcomes than they demand, then it has passed over into untenable territory. Here's a quote that describes this legislative action All within the state, nothing outside the state, nothing against the state. That's a quote from Benito Mussolini. He was also the Italian leader who defined the meaning of the word fascist. Even when enlivened by well-meaning sentiments, it's possible to go too far, especially when the grasp encompasses the church.
Speaker 2:Back in just a moment. Welcome to our final segment, faith, in Verse where Paul and Teddy called Would I Know, would I know the Lord if he came among us? Have I the confidence to hear his true voice? If, given the chance, my whole life laid out options before me, would he and his be my choice? If we were to find ourselves in the intricacies of life, listening to the grand inquisitor, whose wisdom, whose guidance would we follow? His or something I more wish for? I hope I'd answer straight away, be as Peter or as Matthew, and lay down my nets and sums aright to follow Jesus' compelling message and healing power to bring the world out of darkness and into light. I hope, I would like. I pray.
Speaker 2:My opting would be a new making as their conversion, but I don't know if I have the bravery, the courage to turn to today as yesterday's monument of inversion.
Speaker 2:How would it sound to hear to leave all behind and come to follow me in everything, when caution and care, preparing for the long term in life has the most familiar cant and ring?
Speaker 2:I know this same Lord has been preparing my life all its days, from the beginning, for his true will and the circumstances of being in life he has attuned so that each part and every absence might be filled. True, we will all, as the closing moments, hear the summons, as our final breath escapes, with no more options and no more moments. Suddenly his plan for life will sound as the click of the unlocking gate. But before that final tug at the end of all things, while these days yet pass in their whirl of decisions and choices, will I open my heart, my arms, my hands to alter my way upon the moment of his voice? That's would I know. We're always invited to deepen our understanding of the presence of Christ with us. That's what we hope to do as we continue to explore what it means to be Living Catholic. That's what we hope to do as we continue to explore what it means to be Living Catholic.
Speaker 1:Living Catholic is a production of the Archdiocese of Oklahoma City for Oklahoma Catholic Radio. To learn more, visit okcrorg.