What 2024 Taught Me (And How I'm Applying Those Lessons To Make My 2025 Even Better)

This very first episode of the Paradise Perspectives podcast of 2025 reveals personal reflections and lessons I learned in 2024 and how I intend to apply those lessons to create a great 2025. I aim to inspire you to reflect on your own experiences and embrace growth opportunities as you set intentions for 2025.

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Chapters

• 0:10 Lessons Learned for the Future
• 7:44 Discovering Personal Growth Through Challenges
• 22:04 Embracing New Beginnings and Challenges
• 33:01 Unleashing Growth and Transformation

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:10

Welcome to Paradise Perspectives, where we have honest conversations about life, about growth and about finding your way, all of that with an island girl's perspective. This is where you'll get real insights and inspiration to help you live your best life. Now let's get into today's hot topic. Can you believe this is the first podcast episode for this new year?

Speaker 1: 0:40

I must apologize because I'm a little late getting back into things and, to be honest, I just traveled back after a whole month and change of being in Belgium for the holidays to spend it with my family, and it has been so hard getting back into my daily routines and my island life. You know everything that has to do with living on the island of St Martin. It has been really hard for me to get back into everything. It is so hard for me to get used to having a cat again. Rufus is somewhere running around right now. Oh, he's trying to get his head into the toilet. Don't ask me why my cat is crazy, but that those are all of the things. You know, while I was in Belgium it was all about myself. I could just close the door behind me and walk out and don't have to worry about a thing, and here I have to worry about a strange cat that tends to put his head into the toilet whenever I'm not looking. So it's crazy. I have also not been able to sleep well because it's kind of like my bed has become a foreign object that I don't recognize. My mattress has stopped being comfortable. My pillows have stopped being comfortable. I cannot find a right position to sleep on anymore. I don't know what the hell is happening, but I'm having a tough time re-acclimatizing to my current situation. Right.

Speaker 1: 2:06

So I decided last minute last year in December, to make an extra trip to Belgium to kind of help out with my mom, because my mom was going through some medical issues and I was glad that I was able to be there for her. By the time I got there she didn't really need it, or so it seemed, but then I'm glad I was there because she took a tumble. She was alone in her apartment. I just ran out to do an errand, to go for an appointment, and I got a call that she was on the floor in the kitchen. So I had to rush back with my brother trying to get her back up and from there to get her back up, and from there she has not been the same. So it has been really really quite a hectic and mentally physically draining. Especially the few new weeks into the new year has been quite tough. So of course, I'm getting back now into things and I'm trying to focus on everything, but my mind, as you can imagine, is on my mom and how she's doing and I'm getting like daily reports from my siblings there. So that's good. But to all the caregivers out there, my heart goes out to you because I see you, I know what you're going through, I understand it completely.

Speaker 1: 3:24

It is hard. It is so hard on your mental state, on your emotions, on your physical body. It is hard, it is not easy and, of course, also all of the worries that come with it. You are worrying about things, or I am at least. I am worrying constantly about my mom and so, yeah, my head has not really been into getting back into the whole routine of being back on the island, but that is one of the things that I learned in 2024.

Speaker 1: 3:57

Worrying about things that are out of my control is so last year and that is one of the things that I do not intend to drag back into this year, or I'm going to try my hardest not to do so, because there's no point in worrying over things that you cannot control. All you can do is do your utmost with the situation that you have at hand and with the tools that you have in this right moment. Okay, so I must learn to trust also that my mom is going to be okay, that my siblings are there and that they care for her as much as I care for her, so she is not alone. All I can do is I can call every day, check on her, and I especially now with all of the tools and things that I have learned during my own process in my healing journey and personal growth journey, I can help her get her mindset in it and then kind of like help with that where I can.

Speaker 1: 5:01

My mom does not have, when it compared to myself, is that she does not believe in herself, even though that she pushed four children out of her you know what and has gone through a toxic relationship of all toxic relationships. My dad was not the best husband and she has gone through so much. This woman used to jump out of airplanes she was and then get on the ground and roll and pack up her parachute and then do it again the next day. She was amazing. I mean, she still is amazing At 74,. My mom moved from Curacao, the only life that she pretty much knew all her life. She left that behind, moved to Belgium, a country that she doesn't know, that she has only visited like twice or so before. So she is remarkable and so amazingly amazing. It's the only thing that I can say, and I think she forgets that at times. So all I can do from where I am at this moment is remind her of how strong she really is, and that's what I do. I call her every day. I try to pep her up, I try to keep talking positively to her and remind her of the woman that she is. All right.

Speaker 1: 6:19

Let's now talk about the actual conversation that I want to talk to you about today, which is, of course, all the lessons that I learned in 2024 and what I intend, or how I intend, to apply those lessons now, in 2025. Let's talk about it. This is what 2024 has taught me. That's a beauty, by the way, of reflecting on days gone by, and I am not a fan of really dwelling on the past or re-experiencing every bad moment or replaying it in my head. I try not to do that, but it is important to sometimes reflect on days that have gone by so that you know you can look at it with a critical eye and kind of take out of every scenario what you can so that you can apply it for future, for the future Right. It is important to look at it with a fresh perspective and see the lessons that you have learned along the way from the bad scenarios that have played in your life in the past the bad things that have happened and also the good. Let's be honest, because there's lessons everywhere and that is the beauty, I think, of being human, because we never stop learning new things. It is also all about what you do with those lessons that you have learned. That is also so super important.

Speaker 1: 7:44

One of the most valuable things that I learned about myself in 2024 is that I am able to do so much more than I give myself credit for. I've gone way outside of my comfort zone last year and I learned also that I am not as fearless as I thought I was. You know as much as I am telling you all the time about being fearless and to do the scary steps and all of the scary things I challenged myself in 2024 to do as many scary things as possible, and let me tell you something I have discovered that I am still quite scared of a lot of things that I do, even during those that challenge that I did for myself in doing scary things. I tried to do a scary thing every month and that is something that I intend to keep on doing in this year as well. But I have learned so much about myself by taking myself completely outside of my comfort zone, because let's remember one thing fear is in the unknown.

Speaker 1: 8:46

So every time when you are stepping outside of your comfort zone to do something new, it is scary. That's why we're saying you're stepping outside of your comfort zone, because your comfort zone is where everything is cool and everything is like your everyday life. That is comfort. You have comfort in that because you know what it's like. You know what it's going to be like tomorrow if you continue to do the same thing and you know what to expect. But when you do something new, it is incredibly scary because you have no idea of what the outcome will be. You know, for me, changing the direction of my business was super scary, but I did that and I was very surprised that quite a lot of my audience can relate with my new direction, that it's not always only about travel for them and about C Martin and about the Caribbean lifestyle. They too are interested in knowing a little bit more about how they can transform their lives and start living their best life.

Speaker 1: 9:50

So that little pivot that I did in my business was and in my life was very, very scary when I started doing it in beginning of last year, driving a van in Europe. Oh my gosh, back in August when I was in Belgium, I had to take my mom to her medical appointments, to doctor's appointments, to the hospital, et cetera. And as I don't have my own car, I had to drive the one for my brother. And let me tell you something my brother drives like a kidnapper's van. It's a van with no windows. So for me that was quite scary to drive in Europe with that, and I am somebody that I'm always kind of like scared getting behind the wheel when I get into a new country. But Belgium is not new to me and still it was scary driving there. I mean, I lived in Europe for six to seven years, so I know about the driving there and I can find. I lived in Europe for six to seven years, so I know about the driving there and I could find my way around Europe very easily, but it was still scary. And maybe it was because I was driving this kidnappers van right and it's. I think I even hit it when I was trying to get out of the parking lot, for which my little brother, if you're listening, I am so sorry.

Speaker 1: 10:59

Another thing that was really scary for me in the last year was moving to Portland, oregon, for two months. I mean like, yes, it was a fantastic idea when I had it, but when it came time to actually pack up my house because I was intending on renting it while I was gone and putting Rufus up in a cat motel for two months, that broke my heart and I did not know what to expect. I was going to go to a place that I've only visited once before and I was going to stay there for two months. I had no idea. Also, using trusted house sitters for the first time was really scary, because I'm going to stay in strangers' house, people that I have never met before. That was scary. Giving my husband another chance was scary. Yeah, that happened Last year.

Speaker 1: 11:49

I decided that I am now fully committed to our marriage again, even though our marriage doesn't even remotely look like what it has for the past 20, 21 years it has. It is now completely different, but I decided to because I still love the man. What can I say? Um, and he has changed and he has done the work that he needed to do and we are on. We can communicate on such a better level right now and, to be honest, he's my best friend. So I wanted to recommit to this man and I did that. I committed to the idea of still having him in my life and that was, and remains, very scary to this day.

Speaker 1: 12:34

Hosting a retreat was scary. Even though I have done multiple events, even retreats, in the past, it was scary doing this particular retreat in June of 2024, because it was my first time leading people into guided meditations and helping women to, you know, to get reconnected with a confident women inside of them and to help them actually on their path of creating a better existence for themselves, right, so that was scary. Hosting my first webinar ever that was scary, and it was all because these things were new to me. That's why they were scary. There were so many times that I was paralyzed, just completely paralyzed, with what ifs. And if you are recognizing yourself in this story, I have one thing to tell you it is so worth it when you try it, because the worst thing you can do is not try it, not get outside of your comfort zone and just stay in the comfort of your reality right now. There is actually so much more that you can do and you can give yourself credit for. Seriously, believe me, you can do this too. All right.

Speaker 1: 13:48

So lesson number two I learned that patience is a beautiful thing, all right. So here's the thing I am seriously a very impatient person. I don't have patience, or I thought I didn't until when I was spending this last month and so, with my mom, and she has mobility issues. So every time she walks, she walks with a what we call a rollator in Dutch. I think it's like one of those like walking things, but it has wheels. I don't know. You know, send me an email Let me know what that actually is called, but anyway. So she's walking with this walking device let's call it that and she has to take one tiny step. Stop one tiny step. Stop one tiny step. So in the beginning, that was just the most frustrating thing ever, because I have things to do and my mom is just very slow, so I had to drop my pace to match hers, and dad taught me patience. We will get there when we get there. There's no rush. Yes, I had work to do, but dad had to go on the back burner because my mom was very was much more important than whatever else I have going on in my life right now. I had to match her pace and that taught me patience, so that was another beautiful lesson that I learned in 2024.

Speaker 1: 15:25

Lesson number three I still have more healing to do. I just told you about giving or recommitting to my husband, and in doing so I realized that there are still a lot of things that has happened in our relationship and in my childhood that I need to heal from. There are still things that are not right that I still need to work on, and that just brought my attention to the fact that the healing process is not linear. It's not just one straight line. Sometimes you have really good days, other times you just it's. You know you can get back to that position where you were all the way in the beginning, when things hurt and you didn't know exactly what to do and how, what to do with yourself. And in those times it was very important for me to kind of like take a step back, focus on myself, on what I was feeling, on all of those emotions that was coming up, and kind of like take a step back, focus on myself, on what I was feeling, on all of those emotions that was coming up, and kind of like just take a day, you know, like I said, and that's where that patience comes in as well, because if it wasn't for the patience that I learned, I wouldn't know how to actually give myself a break when I needed to, when the healing process was a little too much for me, I needed to take a break and then. So I hope that my story kind of like inspires you to do the same thing too, as it's so, so important. But yeah, healing is. I think, if you ask me, it is a forever journey. It is not just one thing that you just try to heal out of one thing and that's it. Your healing journey will eventually become your personal development story, and that is something, or your personal develop, or your personal growth journey, and that journey never ends. So it's a forever journey that you're committing to when you start healing yourself.

Speaker 1: 17:14

Lesson number four the importance of playing. Oh my gosh, we had that in the retreat that we hosted in June 2024. That was one of the things that I really wanted to implement and that was an impromptu three o'clock 3 pm, dance session. Wherever we found ourselves at three o'clock, we would break up and dance, and it was every day was a different person was able to pick the music, and whatever we were doing whether we were in the middle of meditation or we were in the middle of exploring the island or we were on a boat on our way to Anguilla it didn't matter. We had to break up and dance. We just had to stop what we were doing and dance.

Speaker 1: 18:05

And dancing is a form of play. So that is something that I implemented in my routines, in my morning routines. I try to dance every morning, at least for one song. Right now it's Bad Bunny. His new album is oh my god it is. It is so good. But so, yeah, I dance a little salsa in the morning and that kind of like gets me going and it gets me in a really, really good mood. So you should try that if you have never tried it before. And if you are coming to the retreat of this year it's happening on june 4th until the 8th if you are going to attend this retreat, then you bet your ass. We are going to dance at three o'clock and I'm so looking forward to that. But anyway, play is so, so important. I can give you another example of play and how important that is and how it kind of like really helps you reconnect with your inner child but also helps you. It motivates that whole positivity within you too, right?

Speaker 1: 19:04

So we went, we took my sister and I took my niece to her daughter, we took her to the Balloon Museum in Brussels and we got there and I immediately got my mood just darkened because there were screaming children everywhere. And I don't get me wrong, I do not. It's not that I dislike kids, it's just that I am a woman in about to turn 50 that does not have the patience Again there's the patience thing, right that does not know how to handle herself or how to actually be in a situation with a lot of children. I don't have kids, so it's very difficult for me to be around screaming children. So anyway, my, my mood was all of a sudden like, oh, how am I gonna survive this? But then I flipped something in my mind and I just told myself, you're just going to have to suck it up and, kind of like, be part of them.

Speaker 1: 20:01

So I started running around playing with the balloons and playing with everything, like every single kid that was in there. I was bouncing up and down, I was throwing myself in the pool that they had. They had like an empty pool that it filled up with balls. That was like amazing. I couldn't get up because, of course, I'm almost 50 and I had difficulty getting out of the pool. But who cares, I had so much fun. There was this other thing that they had balloons everywhere. They were flying everywhere and you could hit each other with the balloons and I was just part of it and I was just amidst all of these four-year-olds, six-year-olds, eight-year-olds, and I was playing with them and amongst them and it was so much fun. But at that time I had so much, I felt so positive, I felt so happy. I really really truly felt happy. So, whatever you are doing, try to implement play into your everyday life, all right, yeah.

Speaker 1: 21:00

So lesson number five I learned to not only accept my triggers but to actually see the value that they have because they are there. Triggers are there to show us things that we yet have to address, because a lot of times we get triggered about something and we go into this really terrible mindset and we're filled with negativity and we get. You know, that's when we always say, yeah, you got triggered, and because it brings out the worst in you. Right, it really does. Taking care of my mom is, like I said in the beginning, it's mentally and physically draining, but the worst of all is how negative she really is and how less she doesn't think of herself as the strong woman that I see. She doesn't see herself that way at all and, like I said, I don't know if I said that in the beginning of this podcast or not, but she, her favorite, her two favorite words I can't, I.

Speaker 1: 22:04

And the one thing that I really dislike and I really have a problem with is those two words I can't. Because every time when you say to yourself you can't guess what You're never going to be able to do, that thing that you're telling yourself you cannot do. So you're reinforcing that idea by saying I can't. So those two words actually became a trigger for me, and I think it has a lot to do with how I've always seen or heard my mom use those words in the past, and it is something from my childhood because I've always wanted to challenge myself and those words. My mom used those words in the past, and it is something from my childhood because I've always wanted to challenge myself and those words. My mom used to use them with me as well, because she was so insecure she would project those insecurities onto me by telling me that I couldn't do something. So I think that's why I'm so triggered by those words. So I know that there's a lesson to be learned in there and there's some healing to be done on my part there too, so that these words no longer trigger me.

Speaker 1: 23:13

And I don't know what is a trigger in your life, but when it happens, just sit with it for a little bit and let it tell you what it needs to tell you. Triggers are telling you something. There is something in your life that needs your attention. That's what a trigger is there for, and it's beautiful, right, that your body has a way, or your mind has a way, of showing you the things that you need to know. It's absolutely beautiful.

Speaker 1: 23:40

Moving on to lesson number six, the importance of letting go of shame and guilt. Let's be honest, shame and guilt are just no good and they are so. So what's the word? They keep you stuck where you are. That's what shame and guilt can do. They can keep you stuck, they can keep you rooted. So it's very difficult, it is very difficult to move forward or to be creative, even when shame and guilt are constantly there. And man, let me tell you, there's a lot of guilt right now in my life, just because I have left my mom behind. Anyways, there's a lot of guilt there, of course, there's a lot of guilt there, and there's also a lot of shame sometimes of the things that actually pop up in my head that are so not great, you know, just because you're tired, your mind then kind of like goes into places that you are ashamed to actually admit they go into. So it's, it's, yeah, guilt and shame. They could keep you stuck and they can just dim your creativity so fast, and I think that is why I have had such trouble, kind of like going back into the flow of things. I think guilt and shame have a lot to do with that, you know. Speaking of shame.

Speaker 1: 25:04

I finally let go of the shame I had for the past two and something years of being seen in public with my husband. I have such a shame around you know how other women might perceive me after my husband had an affair and we separated and we are still separated. To be honest, it has never been better because we have both worked on our shit and can now own our shit and we now know what to what we can expect from one another and we also know that the other person is important in our lives and I know I don't owe anybody an explanation about my own relationship and it is nobody's business. But at the same time I felt so guilty and I felt such a shame taking this back, taking this man back into my life. There was a lot, a lot of shame holding me back from completely committing to him again, and it has been. It took me quite some time to get to where we are today. So, yeah, letting go of that shame was enormous for me last year. That was really, really big. I was terrified of what other women would think of me and maybe they'll think I'm an idiot for giving him another chance. After how he sabotaged our marriage, I realized that the decision to let him back into my life is mine and it is mine alone. It is, like I said, nobody's business, but I had to learn not to be ashamed of it. Letting him back in my life does not make me weak or stupid or pathetic, and if people want to go ahead and think that of me, then that is their business. They can go right ahead and do so, all right. So now, how will these lessons help shape an amazing 2025.

Speaker 1: 27:02

My intentions for this new year are more quiet moments. I want more quiet, more space, more expansion. I'm excited to actually show up for myself and for others. I want to be vulnerable. I want to present myself as the true me, to my audience, to my people, to my family, to my friends. I want peace in my life and to remember also to accept people for who they are. Setting firmer boundaries is also going to play a very important role in this new year. And play, like I said, play is so important and I intend to put more of that, or to add a little bit more of that into my life. To have patience with others and with myself. That's another thing that I learned and that I am going to apply into this year To embrace the scary moments and to do more scary things.

Speaker 1: 28:01

That's another one of my objectives for this year. Getting comfortable in the uncomfortableness of doing scary things that's another one of my objectives for this year. Getting comfortable in the uncomfortableness of doing scary things. You know all of these new things. I want to start listening to my triggers more. Instead of letting the triggers direct how I react to things and the actions that I take after those reactions, I want the triggers to actually I want to sit down and listen more to my triggers and let them tell me what they need to tell me. My big intention for this year is also to trust more to trust in the universe, to trust in myself, to trust in my family members and my friends, and to trust more in my husband Cause's.

Speaker 1: 28:42

Be honest, that's a big issue there, isn't it? I want to do more of what I love. I want to dance more. Go out with my friends, run around with roofers you know coloring I'm really into coloring again and I just want to remember sometimes that it's okay, even for this almost 15 year old, to behave like a child running around, playing, having fun, you know, and dancing like nobody's watching. I wouldn't have these goals for 2025 if it weren't for all the lessons that I learned in 2024. And that's the honest truth. There are so many things I want to do in this new year New things, scary things, brilliant things, amazing things.

Speaker 1: 29:27

I'm excited about the second annual Island Awakening retreat, from June 4th until the 8th. I'm excited to help more women with my one-on-one coaching sessions. I'm excited for the courses that I am planning to give in this new year, the virtual events and the in-person events, the new ebook that I want to launch I am totally excited about that, and I am so psyched to introduce a new service that I cannot yet say what it is, so I can't say much about that yet. And personally, I'm looking forward to traveling back to Europe in the summer and to spend, hopefully, some more really great times with my mom and I hope that she can be in a good enough health to be able to do that with me. You know, to create new memories with my mom. I'm really looking forward to that, and also with my siblings, because I really, really miss them so much and that last trip to Belgium really made me realize how important family really is. And, uh, you know, I'm also looking forward to traveling back to Portland Oregon in the fall because my co-host, janlis, and I are doing a second retreat together and that is in the fall and we're doing that in Portland Oregon. So more on that later.

Speaker 1: 30:49

I cannot wait to connect with more like-minded women because I feel like with all the healing and personal growth that I've done over the past two and a half almost three years now no, it's not almost three, but it is two and a half years it has been I have not I've done all of that kind of alone, just because I haven't been able to connect on the same level with the friends that I had before that. And these people are still my friends and they're still wonderful and I still love them. But I want to be able to sit down with like-minded women and have discussions and conversations about the things that really that I'm passionate about, that really drive me and that hopefully they feel the same about. So I want to create my own little army of women that spread positivity all over the world. I want to be a part of that. I want to take at least one little trip with my husband this year too. I want to have those romantic moments. I want to have those moments when we can reconnect. Yeah, there's travel, there are projects, family time, time with friends, play and so many new lessons just waiting for me in this new year, and I know that you'll have the same waiting for you in 2025 as well.

Speaker 1: 32:03

So, my dear friend, who is listening right now to this incredible podcast episode the new, the first podcast episode of this year I want to tell you reflect on last year. What lessons did you learn and how will you apply those lessons in this new year? 2024 wasn't just a year, it was a teacher. What did you learn about yourself and your relationships, and how will those lessons impact your goals for 2025? Remember, please, to write stuff down. Get a journal. I have been journaling like crazy and it has been so, so helpful. So let this be the year that you start. If you've never journaled before, it is incredibly helpful. Thank you so much for listening to this first episode for the new year. I am so grateful you were part of this conversation today.

Speaker 1: 33:01

I hope this episode has helped you jot down some of the lessons and intentions, and I am so excited to continue with our growth this year. Are you as excited as I am about this. Oh my gosh, I'm feeling it in my bones. This is going to be a great year. There are so many goals to be met, dreams to realize and incredible experiences to be had. It is going to be a phenomenal year, and you know how I know that, because you and I are going to make it phenomenal. Before I go, let me leave you with this the beauty of a new year isn't in perfection. It's in the possibility to keep growing and trying again. Hasta next week, beautiful friend. I cannot wait to be back next week to continue our conversation about how we can reshape our lives and step into a better, happier, more fulfilling existence. Are you with me? I love you so very much. Bye for now, ciao, hasta luego, tot later, au revoir, and I love you.