Why You Need to Stop Fantasizing About it and Just Give Solo Travel a Try

This episode is all about the transformative and super-empowering experience of solo travel for women over 40. We discuss overcoming fears, making practical plans, and the personal growth that comes with going on an adventure by yourself. 

I share some of my personal ways to stay safe and also some magical moments in past trips I've taken. 

Remember that everything you hear in this episode is based on my experiences. 

If you're about to travel by yourself, there is nothing more important than being able to stay connected. Get an e-Sim at Yo e-Sim+

Chapters

• 0:10 Fearless Solo Travel for Women
• 11:45 Safe and Spontaneous Solo Traveling
• 25:34 Personal Growth and Advice for Women

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:10

Welcome to Paradise Perspectives, the podcast for women over 40 who are ready to move past fear, embrace change and create a life they love. From a Caribbean perspective, we keep it real here, we keep it honest and unfiltered, and we talk about growth, healing and the magic of travel, because stepping outside the comfort zone, whether it's in life or anywhere else, is where the real transformation happens. Now let's get into today's episode. Hey there, and welcome back to Paradise Perspectives. It's your go-to podcast for honest conversations, for fearless living and, of course, a little bit of Caribbean sunshine. Hi, I'm your host and island friend, rizal, aka the Traveling Island Girl. So today we're talking about something that might make you a little nervous, but I also know that it will make you super excited, and that thing I'm talking about today is solo travel. So if you've ever thought, oh, I wish I could do that, but I'm too scared, then listen up. This episode is for you. Make sure you listen until the very, very end.

Speaker 1: 1:27

Okay, so I've been traveling solo way before it became a thing on social media. In the beginning it was obviously for work, and I remember visiting, for instance, southampton once, which is close to London, and I visited for 16 whole days by myself for a boat show. And then, of course, there were the many little solo trips that I actually made to see family and friends, and that's when you visit destinations that you've actually already been to many, many times, or it's as in my case. You know, visiting family is like going back home, you know. So it wasn't exactly scary, but it wasn't until after my 40th that I started to intentionally travel solo, and that was a game changer. You know, I started at first with real practical little trips, like in the Caribbean, you know like I went to Aruba, tortola, puerto Rico, bonaire, antigua and so on and so on. But then I started to get a little bit braver and then I did a solo trip to the US and I did a few solo trips to Europe. Traveling in the Caribbean for me is like traveling in my own backyard, so it wasn't that scary. But for me it wasn't until my very first trip to the Pacific Northwest of the US, to be specific, it was Portland, seattle and the Olympic Peninsula. And it was just me, myself and I, and it was the scariest thing I had ever done at that point in my life, but it was also the most exciting thing as well.

Speaker 1: 3:07

So why is solo travel such a game changer, you might ask? Well, first of all, the absolute best about traveling by yourself is the freedom and the self-discovery that you will get out of solo travel. When you travel solo, you realize just how capable you really are. You get to make all of the choices. There are no compromises, there are no sacrifices, and it is what you want to do. When you want to do it. There is nobody to ask what do you want to do today? Or there's nobody saying you know contradictory things, like you might want to stay in and they want to go out, and then you're kind of like you're finding yourself in a position of oh, I got to do what my friend wants to do, or my travel buddy wants to do, or my husband or partner or whatever wants to do. Right, there's all the decisions are you, you are the planner, you are the concierge, you are the booker of activities, you are it, that's it, it's just you, and to me, that is the biggest thing, and it is also let's not forget how you really get to learn more about yourself right Through that whole experience of traveling by yourself.

Speaker 1: 4:27

Another thing that is really a game changer about solo travel is how you get to overcome your fears. I mean, the biggest fears are all, really, you know. Of course, besides the one of dying, there's also a fear that a lot of us have of being alone. So most people don't travel alone just because of fear. There's this fear around just being by yourself. Especially as a female, I get it. But what if I told you, the fear starts to fade the minute you take that first initial step, the moment you click on submit payment to buy that plane ticket, or on secure payment or secure accommodation, when you're trying to book your hotel or your Airbnb? That feeling is amazing because you have made the first step. There's no turning back at that point, right? Well, of course, you can always cancel, but most of us won't. And there is no better feeling, believe me, there is no better feeling than when you close the door behind that accommodation that you booked and you are finally at that destination that you have been hoping to visit, that you have planned to visit by yourself for so long, and you're finally there. That feeling of accomplishment, that feeling of I did it and I did it all by myself, there is no better feeling than that.

Speaker 1: 6:01

There's also the love for yourself that you discover when you're traveling alone. You know you learn to love your own company and you learn to appreciate yourself for who you are. So, no, it's not always glamorous. I'll be the first one to tell you that it's not. And, yes, you might get lost. Here and there you might eat alone, but guess what? That is all part of the adventure. That is what makes this so incredible.

Speaker 1: 6:33

So what are some of the common fears and how do you overcome them? When you are thinking of traveling by yourself, the first thing that a lot of people ask is what if I get lonely? There's this big difference between being alone and being lonely, huge difference. And I can tell you the one big misconception about solo travel as a female, or as anyone really is you actually meet more people when you're traveling by yourself. So when you're traveling in a group, or when you're traveling with your significant other, or when you're traveling with friends, you tend to keep in that company, right? You don't want to, kind of like, exclude anyone, so you want to stay with that group that you're traveling with or that person that you're traveling with. So it's very hard to meet new people that way, right? So don't let anybody tell you that traveling by yourself is lonely. There is no such thing. That is one of the big misconceptions about it. Traveling by yourself, you meet the best people. When you travel by yourself, you really do, and plus you get to enjoy your own company, which I always say is the best company anyway.

Speaker 1: 7:54

So another question that, of course, you hear a lot is what if something bad happens and I get it as a female. Especially when you're traveling by yourself, there's that fear of bad things happening. But guess what Bad things can happen when you're alone in your home. It can happen when you're driving to work, it can happen when you're in your company, in the company of others, it doesn't matter. Bad things can happen anywhere, and I know what you mean. When you're traveling solo as a female, yes, of course there's an increased risk, right? Because well, let's be honest, men, there's always somebody who thinks that you're easy prey just because you are traveling by yourself and there's nobody around you to defend you or to come to your rescue, so to say. But I need to tell you this really, planning and trusting your instinct and your gut really, really helps. Okay, so we're going to go a little bit more into that a little bit later.

Speaker 1: 8:57

So the last question that I want to discuss about you know, common fears and how to overcome them in this episode is, of course, what if I don't know where to start? Oh honey, listen, that's why I'm here. So let's break it all down. All right, here are some practical tips for first time solo travelers. So listen up, get that pen and paper and make your notes.

Speaker 1: 9:23

First of all, start small Doesn't have to be across the world. Remember, in the beginning of this episode, I told you about how I started. I started by visiting my own backyard, so to speak, by visiting other Caribbean islands in the region. So that wasn't as scary as me having to fly for eight hours, nine hours or more to a different destination, which is much more scarier, right, a different destination, which is much more scarier, right? So there is, you know. Instead of making that big trip, why don't you start with a weekend getaway to a nearby village, a nearby town, a nearby city? Also, another way to get your feet wet, so to speak, in this whole solo travel thing is to visit friends that live on the other side of the country, perhaps you know. Visit somewhere where you've already been with other people and you feel a little bit more familiar and more comfortable. So start there, start small. That is the one big thing that you need to remember. Prepare for your big trip by starting small.

Speaker 1: 10:38

I remember what I did is I was so afraid when I was traveling to the Pacific Northwest for the first time I did so much research. I must have spent months doing research before I actually made any plans, any solid plans, and actually booked my tickets. And one of the things that I did that I was really super scared about is driving on highways in the US. I know it's an island girl thing. Right here we have narrow little roads and no highways. That was the one scary thing and one of the big obstacles for me, and I knew that where I wanted to go, I needed to rent a car. There is no way I could travel around the Olympic National Park, for instance, without a car. There was just no way. So I needed to drive. So what I did is I booked a trip to Puerto Rico and I rented a car by myself, and that was the first time I must have been 40 something and I booked that car and I felt so grown up at that moment. All right. So the first tip I have for you is, of course, to start small.

Speaker 1: 11:45

Now for the second trip plan, but stay flexible, and I cannot stress how important this one really is, because I've seen it way too many times when a first time solo traveler plans the entire trip and jam packs it filled with activities and excursions and tours for every single day of their trip, and then you know of their trip and then you know what happens is you come back home totally exhausted and yeah, it's. You know, and I get it A lot of times, it is out of fear of feeling lonely during that trip, right that? Then you get to book all of these excursions and things for almost every day, and I cannot stress how important it is to have a loose plan. Leave room for spontaneity, it is so important. You never know, especially when you just got there and you already got a book. What do you call it? A tour on an excursion planned for the next day and the day after that and the day after that, and then by day three, you're utterly exhausted and all you can think of is, oh, oh, I wish I could just stay in and, by the way, there is nothing wrong is one. If one day, you wake up and you just want to stay in and, kind of like, enjoy the hotel or your accommodation, there's nothing wrong with that. So leave some space for spontaneity. Super, super, super important and I'm not saying don't book anything, you know. Make the bookings, make plans, absolutely, but leave space for spontaneity.

Speaker 1: 13:23

Number three tip and I think this is the most important one of all is, of course, to stay safe. Now, there are a lot of different ways that you can stay safe while you're traveling by yourself, and the first thing that I will tell you is get an eSIM or buy a SIM card when you get to the destination, because the worst thing that you can do is be at that destination and not have any data. Okay, so get an eSIM, and if you need my favorite company where I get my e-sims from, you can check that in the show notes. I'm going to leave a link for you. Another thing that is important when you're traveling by yourself to stay safe is to have somebody, like designated someone, a friend. It could be your husband or your partner or your, you know, whoever you're in a relationship with. It could be your parents, it could be a sister, it could be whatever, just make sure that you have that one designated person that is your main contact back at home that knows everything about this trip, when you're leaving, when you're coming back. Also, text this person when you're about to enter into an Uber or have some of your, you know, like that location thing that you can share with people, have that on you know, send them a message when you're about to get into an Uber and then send them a message again when you've arrived safely at your destination.

Speaker 1: 14:51

What I did, for instance, when I was going hiking by myself in the Olympic National Park, is that I left a note in my accommodation saying you know, I'm gone, I've gone hiking on such and such trail. And that is just in case, because while I was there I remember hearing on the radio that somebody was lost, or it wasn't lost, but apparently this person had fallen from a something steep and they had broken their leg or whatever, and they couldn't, of course, find a way back home or to their accommodation. So people had a really hard time finding this person. But if you leave a note in your hotel room, in your accommodation, then at least people know where to look for you if anything goes wrong. So it's just another way of just being, you know, prepared.

Speaker 1: 15:46

Another thing that you that I absolutely stress you do not do is don't walk around with your headphones on, especially in areas where you've never been, if it's your first time in this destination. Do not walk around with your headphones on, you know. Make sure that you are aware of your surroundings at any time. Another thing that I love to do is I got this door stopper. It's like a lock that I attached underneath the door of my accommodation, especially for, like instance, a hotel room. I put this lock underneath the door and then nobody can come in while I'm sleeping. It's just for extra comfort.

Speaker 1: 16:28

One thing that I try to do, too, is that I do my research about the area where I'm staying in, but also the accommodation itself. What do the reviews say about it? Is there anything weird or off about it? Is it the best area to stay in? Is it safe? So one more thing that I can give you, another tip that I can give you to stay safe, is to, especially when you go into Europe and you go into places like Barcelona, or you're going to Brussels or to Amsterdam, these are places that are known to have a lot of pickpockets right, it's a lot of pickpocket incidents happening. So make sure that you have one of those body cross bags or that you keep your most valuable precious things close to your body that nobody can kind of like yank it from you.

Speaker 1: 17:24

And, the most important thing, do not get drunk when you're traveling solo. Don't go to a bar and get completely shit faced by yourself. That is one of the most unsafe things that you can ever do and please, please, trust your gut, trust your instinct. If it feels weird, if it feels off, stay away. Do not do it. Don't go there. Your instinct tell you everything that you need to know about any situation. Okay, there are lots of other ways, of course, to stay safe when you're traveling solo. So if you are a solo traveler listening to this episode right now, let me know what your opinion is on this and what kind of tip you have for the listener or for whoever is watching this video. How do you stay safe when you're traveling by yourself? You stay safe when you're traveling by yourself, okay.

Speaker 1: 18:17

Tip number four is to embrace the soleness of it all, especially when you're going dining. Okay, I know there is this thing that we always were taught that when you know people that eat alone are just sad and pathetic, and there is nothing further from the truth. Really, solo dining is the shit, okay. So what I would suggest you do is eat at the bar. Now, I know this is not everybody's cup of tea, but, believe me, I have had wonderful conversations with people that were sitting on, you know, next to me at the bar, because most of the time they also tend to be by themselves, and also the bartender. Let's not forget about the bartenders. You can get some like really cool local tips, always from the bartender. So sit and eat at the bar if you can, and if that is not your cup of tea, no problem. Sit in a corner somewhere, especially if it's for lunch or for breakfast. Bring a book along, or if you're sitting by yourself. There is no better thing to do than to people watch. So spend your time between meals to just people watch. I mean, that is entertaining on its own right.

Speaker 1: 19:36

And the last tip that I have for you is to document the journey. Yes, document it, not for anybody else but yourself. Journal about it, you know, write about it and take videos and photos. Now, be careful with this last part because I've been there as a content creator. I have done so many trips that I don't remember exactly what the experience was like, because I was experiencing it all through the lens of my camera or through my phone. And, believe me, you don't want to miss out on all of those epic things that can happen right when you're traveling by yourself and just sit in those moments and put your phone and your camera away. So it's very important.

Speaker 1: 20:24

I'll never forget, for instance, the time when an elk crossed in front of my car as I was driving through the Olympic National Park. I mean, okay, come on, this is an island girl here I'm. You know, I know monkeys, I know iguanas, I know lizards and I know those kind of animals. But to see an actual elk right in front of me and this animal was just so majestic and it just gl that's one of my most biggest fears is that I would hit an animal while I was driving there, right, especially with so many elks crossing the road and deers and chipmunks oh my God, the little chipmunks are so cute so I was really really scared of actually hitting one of them. So I was super careful, but this elk just glided in front of the car and it was just I cried, I cried, I did the ugly cry in my car.

Speaker 1: 21:21

I mean, I of course I took a video, I took a photo, but then I put it aside and I just enjoyed that moment and this animal was just taking its time because it's home, it's in its own surroundings, and people were leaving it alone, cars were would stop for it, and it was just so beautiful. There was also this moment when I was standing on top of a cliff, at the end of a very beautiful trail that led to this cliff, where I saw whales and I heard them, and it was so, so beautiful. The time when I saw sea lions for the first time. Those are all memorable times when you just put away your camera and you just let that moment sink in and you just enjoy. You know the epic first day that I was in Ibonito, for instance, where I could pinch myself because the first sunset was so magical. There's always these moments that happen and these moments are just pure magic. Make sure that you are there, completely there for it. Okay, so, while it's very, very important to document the journey because you want to, you know, revisit it after, it's also important to put away the camera and just enjoy the moment.

Speaker 1: 22:42

So the final thing that I have to tell you is, if you are waiting for the right time to travel by yourself, this is it. I don't know what you're waiting for. Just book that trip and just do it. What I do is I book the trip, I book that plane ticket because for me, at that time, when I booked that plane ticket, there's no going back. So now I am stuck with it, I have to do it. So that's how I get through it. I don't know if this is going to work for you, but this is how it works for me. So again, my friend, if you're waiting for the right time, this is it. Life is short, it really is, and the world is just waiting for you. So take that trip, all right.

Speaker 1: 23:28

Solo travel isn't just about the places you go to. It's not about the places you visit. It's about the person you become along the way. It's about the person you become along the way. This is the ultra important tool for personal growth, in my opinion. It really really is. It's all about the person you become along the way, and I think it is the biggest lesson of all when you get to know who you are right, you become a different person. Yes, you have done the one thing that so many women out there are afraid of doing, but you did it. And you did it scared, but you did it. So you feel invincible. In that moment, you feel so powerful, you feel so accomplished and there's nothing like it. You feel like you can take on anything after that first solo trip.

Speaker 1: 24:22

So now I want to hear from you have you ever traveled solo, or perhaps you're thinking about it? If this is the case if yes, is your answer to this question? Then please send me a message or tag me on Instagram. You can find me on Instagram at paradise perspectives pod. All right, I'd love to hear your story. So thank you so, so much for hanging out with me today.

Speaker 1: 24:47

My friend, this episode, uh, I just had to do it. You know, it's one of those that I've been wanting to chat to you about for a very, very long time. If this episode has inspired you, please share it with a friend, and if you're listening on Apple Podcasts, please go ahead and leave a review, because those reviews really, really help this podcast grow and reach more women that might need to hear these messages as well. Feel free to contact me via email at hello at thetravelingislandgirlcom, if you have an interesting story that you think is worth sharing, or you know or you have a friend or someone that you really admire, that should be a guest on the show.

Speaker 1: 25:34

But also, just if you have a question about something that you are currently struggling with, let me know. I am more than happy to do my research on it and give you some advice on the air OK, so I can always make it into a topic for the next episode. So let me know if you have something you're currently struggling with so I can talk about it and hopefully help you out, but also other people that might have that same question. Remember, I'm here to help you grow into the best version of you, and just like that, we've got to the end of this episode. I'll be back next week with another interesting topic. My name is Rizal, your island friend. Thank you again for listening to Paradise Perspective.