172: Capturing Weddings While Expecting - Tips Through a Maternal Lens

Strap in for a heartfelt journey through the lens of a wedding photographer embracing the transformative tides of pregnancy and motherhood. I am pulling back the curtain on the rollercoaster of emotions that come with photographing weddings while your own life is brimming with MAJOR, expectant changes. 

Balancing client commitments with the unpredictable nature of pregnancy, I am diving into the  planning and open communication necessary to ensure every couple's wedding is still executed with perfection — even when your own due date is fast approaching. 

Through stories of photographing weddings at 37 weeks and having to make a life decision when pregnancy complications came up, I reveal the vulnerability and strength it takes to navigate this unique professional and personal landscape simultaneously!

I am sharing the unspoken realities of breastfeeding and pumping amidst the bustle of a thriving photography business.  But this podcast is not all about the logistics; it's about the harmony of work-life balance, which for us, includes everything from sitters to schedules. Join me as I lay out our journey of parenting alongside the art of photography, offering advice, strategies, and a dose of reality for those stepping into this topic that's not talked about nearly enough!!! 

CLICK HERE TO RATE & REVIEW ON APPLE PODCASTS
(Click the link, scroll down to where it says "Ratings & Reviews" and click the small ink that says "Write a Review")

Download the FREE PRICING GUIDE
Download the FREE POSING GUIDE
Access the FREE FACEBOOK GROUP
Trial SHOWIT

Join the WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHY SOCIETY
Check out our EDUCATION SHOP
Access the FULL TIME WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHY COURSE
View our TEMPLATES and CONTRACTS
More PHOTO RESOURCES
View our PHOTOGRAPHY EDUCATION

INSTAGRAM: @catherineguidry
TIKTOK: @catherineguidryphoto
...

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

So here in the car this time I want to talk about something that I have had a few people ask me about that I think would be incredibly helpful to hear if you're someone who's absolutely no idea who to turn to, who to ask what to do when it came time for me to have a baby, and so I hope that this episode helps If you're having questions. I'm going to think through all the things that I thought through along the way way before, during and after and if you have any questions, feel free to follow up with me. You can DM me on Instagram. We talk about all the things inside of our Wedding Photography Society. You can check that out at Wedding Photography Societycom, but I am truly just going to try to think through things in chronological order when it came to having a baby as a wedding photographer.

Speaker 1: 1:05

So I want to lead by saying that I had a ton of fear around the idea of having a baby. I obviously, you know, didn't know that I would even be able to get pregnant, but the idea of getting pregnant was scary to me because weddings are booked so far in advance. The truth is that our average client books weddings between 12 and 18 months before their wedding day and a pregnancy is 10 months, and so the logistics there are, that the likelihood is going to be I'm going to be booked for a wedding and, if I'm able to get pregnant, I'm going to have to tell one or more clients that I cannot potentially make their wedding, and so that was really scary to me as someone who, like you, I'm sure especially if you're listening to podcasts about wedding photography, that is proof in the pudding you care, you know you really care about your job, you care about your clients. You care about your job. You care about your clients, you care about your business, and so that was me. I just had a lot of fear around it, and it really prevented me from even considering becoming a mother for the longest time, because I knew the reality was going to be. I'd have to peel back in some way, shape or form, and like I just I couldn't go there. You know, um come full circle. Let's just say that I have really understood what it meant to become a parent, and I have completely fallen in love with the idea and I've just it's changed my life in the best way possible, and I think, if you're someone who, like me, me had a lot of fear in your mind and your heart about it. Just know that it's going to be okay and motherhood is a part of life. It's how we all ended up here, right, like someone had us at some point and then we were raised by someone and here we are, some point and then we were raised by someone and here we are, and so I just want to kind of put a little peace in your heart and let you know that, like it is going to be okay. So all that to say, I understand that feeling.

Speaker 1: 3:15

When Brad and I started thinking about this idea of starting our family, we of course tried our best to plan that, but unfortunately we weren't able to plan it exactly how we wanted. But thankfully I was able to weddings in and around the date. So I'm realizing this, I'm processing this and I'm like, okay, what am I going to do? So I just kind of want to walk you through what we did and also preface it with the fact that this may not work for everyone. I, especially now that I've had now two children, have had conversations with other photographers and everyone does do things differently, and so I just really want to lead with those things, because I am very sensitive to the fact that people do things differently. So this is what we did we found out we were pregnant and we did choose to wait until we made 12 weeks to make the announcement.

Speaker 1: 4:44

Until we made 12 weeks to make the announcement I don't even know that I told my parents until I think I was like 10 weeks. So we did make the conscious decision to wait because I felt like it was important for us to know that the likelihood of our pregnancy going full term was there. We did do the maternity 21 test, which is a genetic test that gives you a lot of information about the pregnancy, about the health of the baby. We did another one, I think I think it's called like a Jewish panel or something like that where it also kind of gives you insight into your genetics as parents, also kind of gives you insight into your genetics as parents, and it also on the maternity 21 test I did not know this, but it tells you the the gender of your child, which is kind of cool. So we did that and after we found out that the health of of our oldest looked great, we made 12 weeks, we announced the pregnancy. I will say this Since, having had my second, I was cued into some really interesting information from a client, a current client, who shared with me that if she had the choice, she would want to know as soon as possible that her photographer was pregnant. I want to share that because that was information from a bride who was being very transparent. However, it is your choice to share when you're ready and when you feel is appropriate. We did make the choice, like I said, for my oldest to wait until I was 12 weeks to then share with essentially everyone at the same time.

Speaker 1: 6:30

Our clients were outside of our immediate family and our very best friends, the very first people to know, I feel like outside of the people I named prior. Our clients are next in line of the people I named prior. Our clients are next in line. I think that they deserve to know before a social media announcement. They deserve to know before acquaintances. The investments that our clients make in wedding photography is substantial and takes a lot of time and thought and, you know, just attention, and so I wanted to repay them in that way by letting them know next, and so we decided that because it was very big news.

Speaker 1: 7:19

Some of the clients that we were emailing we may not be able to attend the event anymore that we wanted to give them time to process the information, and so we started with an email and within that email we gave them the option for a phone call. I think that's really important to note and there's a lot of things that I can kind of dig into about the email itself, but I really wanted to point out those two things that we're letting them know at 12 weeks, we are acknowledging that this is hard to receive and we want to give them time to process it, and also that we want to give them the opportunity for a phone call if they have questions. And also we're excited Like we were so excited to be pregnant, to have a chance at a healthy pregnancy. We were so excited and grateful and we also did express that in the email because we wanted them to understand too, like, where we were and, um, you know, just involve them in the excitement of of where we were, because we see our clients as friends and we see them as people who are trusting us and a part of our lives, and we want to loop them into that too. So we shared all of those things in the email Of the seven.

Speaker 1: 8:39

Okay. So let me also say this we emailed every single one of our community, our clients, our friends, that, hey, we're having a baby, we're so excited. This doesn't impact your wedding, but we just wanted to let you know. So that was kind of the tone of those emails. But then there's those like seven or so clients that we knew could potentially be impacted, like seven or so clients that we knew could potentially be impacted, and those were the clients, I would say, that are within like a six week window, I would say six to eight week window, you could even say six to 10 on the front end and on the back end. I think now, having gone through two pregnancies while working weddings, to be completely fair, I really feel like the 30-week mark leading up to the pregnancy is probably a good group of people that we should kind of keep in the loop, and then also the 10 to 12 weeks following the due date, just because it gets really physically hard toward the end. And then, of course, the recovery, after which I could really go on and on this episode might be kind of long, depending on how far I want to take it. I don't know quite yet how deep I'm going to go I'm just kind of talking off the cuff here but, like for sure, 8 to 10 weeks before, I would say you want to start lining up an assistant, you want to have a backup photographer with you at every single one of those events, and then, after the due date, you should probably plan for like a full 12 weeks off, if you can, if you can Going back to the emails, though, before I get ahead of myself, we had I think two of the seven actually schedule a phone call.

Speaker 1: 10:57

In the email we sent to them, we also laid out the backup plan, like if we go into labor and or if there's an emergency situation, and or if there's an emergency situation, this is who we've lined up for our team. Because Brad and I shoot together, we had, for all of those weddings, someone with us just in case we go into labor. They were, like, literally at the event with us and we had someone on call. So my mindset was like I need someone there and present so that if I start cramping or if I go into labor or whatever the case may be, they can jump in right then and there, and then we also have a second person on hold that we can call, knowing that they're available but not necessarily at the wedding per se, that they're reachable and ready but not, you know, physically present. So that was our approach for those emails. On the phone calls that we had, interestingly enough, I gave every person the opportunity to back out of their contract and only one contract was canceled. It was also during COVID, and so there were some other things that came into play there.

Speaker 1: 12:14

But of the clients that we did email, people were super receptive and excited for us. When we hopped on the phone with the two clients, theirs were, for good reason, those two clients. Their weddings were closest to the date and I think they just wanted to feel like they knew who the backup was well, and so I had that backup photographer on the phone call with me and that was something we chatted about via email, and so that person came on the phone call. We were all able to like, chat together and just make a game plan, and I think that made them feel really good, knowing that they at least had spoken on the phone. They knew for sure who that person was, so they could check out their work and follow them, follow along with them on social media in the weeks leading up to their event, just in the case that something resulted in you know them having that photographer at their wedding Like in other words, they really need them full time, or if they were just going to be there with us on the day of, it was still nice to have them familiar.

Speaker 1: 13:19

So that was the initial like process and I think I get the most questions from photographers about that, like what did you do when you found out you were pregnant? I think that in and of itself, is the scariest part, the okay. Now I have to tell them that there's a possibility I might be there and so I would start with that. That's like step one, and if you just found out you're pregnant and you're already overwhelmed, you can stop this episode here and just go and start that. But I'm also going to dive into a little bit about what it was like being pregnant as a wedding photographer pre-delivery and then, obviously, postpartum and some of the things that really helped me get through that. So after we told them and I was shooting pregnant Toward the end of the pregnancy, it did get really hard.

Speaker 1: 14:18

And another common question that I've been asked is like at what point was it too hard. So for both of my girls, I photographed my last wedding at 37 weeks. I lied, did I lie? Let me remember? Hold on. I know the last one for sure was at 37 weeks and I think, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, there was a 37 weeks For my first. I had a wedding scheduled at my 40 week and I was basically trying to convince my doctor to let me photograph it, but that was the one that I ended up missing because of, like, pregnancy complications. I had a high risk pregnancy. I ended up having to essentially go straight from the doctor's office to the hospital to deliver that day and I did not make it to the wedding. So that was that.

Speaker 1: 15:10

But if the question is how long for me? 37 weeks, it was really hard. I at that point was very big, I had gestational diabetes for both of my pregnancies and I was incredibly swollen and just fluid filled, like it was really hard to walk. I was incredibly swollen and just fluid filled, like it was really hard to walk. I was walking so slow and you know, while I was shooting a wedding, would anyone know that I was hurting? No, absolutely not. I didn't sit down, you know. I didn't show it, which I showed it to my husband. I make faces like, oh, I'm in pain, but of course I never wanted them to know that. I make faces like, oh, I'm in pain, but of course I never wanted them to know that I was hurting, because I didn't want them to feel like that they were missing out in any way, shape or form, like I wanted to show up in the same way that I would have if I wasn't pregnant, but the reality is I was in a lot of pain, and so if you're somebody that's wondering how long for me I think 37 weeks was that was really hard I would definitely suggest finding someone not just a third shooter or a second shooter, like someone that you know is a solid primary, and don't be afraid to pay them for that. Like it is so worth it I can tell you right now in terms of peace of mind and help.

Speaker 1: 16:42

Starting at 30 weeks for this most recent pregnancy, I had someone who was there who was more than capable to take over, but I thankfully was able to photograph it and she was there being such a big help getting me water, helping with the dress, that if I could boil it down to you know, aside from actually walking. What hurts is bending over. It is hard, like bending over when you're pregnant is really hard, and a lot of our job is bending over styling, bending over picking up details, bending over fixing the dress and get, bending over getting gear, like it's a lot of bending over and it's really painful. And so having someone there to say, hey, can you fix the dress or can you grab my lens, or hey, can you like style this detail and help me out here, like it's really invaluable. And so I would say if for that alone, it's worth it to have someone starting at 30 weeks. Some people also are a little bit smaller than others are.

Speaker 1: 17:42

I looked like I was due any minute at 30 weeks and it just I had a lot of weight that I was carrying around and I felt it. So that was kind of pre-pregnancy, my tips, my thoughts on how it felt leading up to the actual due date. I was not. I did not go into labor on my own. I was induced for both of my kids and it wasn't like 100% planned. Some of it was like medically necessary, because I had gestational diabetes twice. The first time it was definitely medically necessary. The second time we intervened a little bit earlier, at 39 weeks, and so that you know we like knew the baby was in the clear and knew the baby was healthy and we I was induced twice. You know we like knew the baby was in the clear and knew the baby was healthy and we I was induced twice.

Speaker 1: 18:35

I also get asked a lot about the actual delivery, because I delivered both of my girls unmedicated. But I think that is a podcast episode in and of itself, so maybe I'll share that in another episode their episode but for now I want to talk about the recovery, because that was something that I had no concept about and people just don't talk about enough. You know, if you are not interested in listening to that part again, you press pause and conclude the episode. I'm going to continue for those of you guys who are interested in this part postpartum. So, like I said, I delivered both my kids unmedicated and vaginally. So I knew pretty quickly that like my body was going to have some healing to do, and it did, and I did not fully expect or know what to expect.

Speaker 1: 19:34

But I can say the three weeks following my delivery were very hard physically, honestly, as hard as labor itself. They were very hard. I was breastfeeding. I breastfed both my girls through about six months. I could talk about that, but the actual recovery for me was challenging. I I thankfully never did have a C-section, but my understanding is the recovery on that is even harder. Like for six weeks, I believe, is what I've heard. But for for for me, I had some tearing, I had a vac I used a vacuum to get my first daughter out and I did have some tearing and so some internal tearing, and so it took, it took me about three solid weeks of just hurting and icing and healing and resting and breastfeeding and all the things. And if you've been there you know, and if you haven't, I can say that it is hard but it is temporary and so you will get through it.

Speaker 1: 20:40

And definitely, in my opinion, do not schedule any weddings during that time. So then, following that three weeks, I would say things started to get a little bit easier, but still hard. I did not respond too much during that time period. I did not schedule anything for work no sessions, no inquiry calls, no client meetings, nothing. I had, in advance of the delivery, scheduled all of my final meetings for weddings that were coming up in like the postpartum period so that I didn't have to worry over that. For my daughter, my first photo shoot back was at six weeks it was a bridal session and I photographed my first wedding back I believe it was at eight weeks. For my most recent daughter, my first wedding back was at 10 weeks. For both, I think it was doable, but I do believe 10 to 12 weeks is much needed and necessary for a multitude of reasons.

Speaker 1: 21:44

Even just outside of the physical healing, the mental and hormonal aspect of delivering is very real. That is also not talked about enough is very real. That is also not talked about enough. But, um, I definitely had a lot of like emotional, hormonal shifts in the weeks and months following both of my babies. Uh, my youngest is now seven months and I can 100% say that my I'm not back to my old self yet. Like I'm definitely not back physically, emotionally, mentally, hormonally, like my body is still healing and I think the statistic is that it takes about 18 months and I really feel like as women, sometimes we just set these expectations really high for ourselves, especially if we've never done it before, and we think, oh, like I know they say this but this, and like maybe there are some people that bounce back much faster than I did.

Speaker 1: 22:44

I am a geriatric mother. I am. I was 35 when I delivered my first, and so I think anytime you're 35 at any point during the pregnancy you're coined geriatric. And then also for my second, I was like 37 when I had her, and so my body probably doesn't heal as fast as like if I was in my 20s, but it was just really hard to get back to even where I am now. So following that three-week period, things got easier. Like I said, I went back for my first at six weeks. This time I went back at 10 and I was still breastfeeding for both, and so I want to talk a little bit about that, because I really couldn't wrap my head around how I was going to breastfeed and photograph weddings. I also, at some point on a forum somewhere along the way, read and also knew someone personally that went through this that her baby would only breastfeed and she didn't know what to do because she couldn't pop and have someone bottle feed while she was at the wedding, and so someone was having to bring the baby to her while she was photographing to breastfeed, and so that was something that I was like aware that could happen. It didn't happen. At three weeks I introduced a bottle of breast milk that I had pumped to my oldest and it worked. She took it, she received it.

Speaker 1: 24:13

I will say that for my youngest we actually have had a very long run of sickness for the past eight weeks. I think the last three days, to be completely honest, have been the first three days in the past, like two plus months that I mean she hasn't had any sort of sickness. Like she had a double ear infection and she had hand foot mouth which had another stomach bug. I mean it's just been one thing after the other and for a good bit of those sicknesses she would only breastfeed, like not take the bottle at all, and I just kept thanking. You know, god, that I didn't have weddings during that time period, because when she was only breastfeeding and wouldn't take the bottle and you know was like I was just trying to keep her from dehydrating, I was like, oh my gosh, I'm just like so thankful I didn't have a wedding today because I don't know what I would have done. So that's not meant to scare you, that's just meant to say that like that does happen. But for whatever reason, it just worked out and I was able to breastfeed and pump like the mix of both.

Speaker 1: 25:28

For both of my babies I used the Willow electric double pump. For my oldest I don't love the container situation but the bags work great. They don't leak. They're very big. So I highly recommend buying a loose scarf that you can put around your neck when you're pumping while photographing but I never stopped shooting on a wedding day to pump. I would put, put them in, I would pump, I would take them out while we were walking, I would clean them on the go, whether it was like on transportation or, you know, in the restroom, if I was using the bathroom. I had it kind of down to a science. I could put them in and out and take them out really quickly and like never skip a beat. You can do that pretty quickly and easily with the Willow.

Speaker 1: 26:13

For this baby I used the Elvie Stride. I just liked the pumping sensation better. I felt like it was more natural feeling. But I didn't love that it had a cord. The cord was not convenient at all and I felt like the Willow was better for that. I also recently, in an effort to avoid the cord from the stride, I bought the Lansino double electric pump and I personally did not care for it. So that's just my thoughts there on the pumps.

Speaker 1: 26:45

But I will say this this has nothing to do with weddings and everything to do with breastfeeding and pumping. For me, the only way I was able to keep my supply was by using the plug in old school spectra as much as possible. I did not do that for my oldest and I felt like my supply went down pretty like early on compared to where I wanted to go with breastfeeding, and I felt like this time around I'm still. I'm still actually breastfeeding. I'm seven months postpartum right now and I am still breastfeeding for half of the feedings, and I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that I use the Spectra.

Speaker 1: 27:21

It's just like an awesome pump for when you're at home, but when you're shooting a wedding, if you don't want to stop, then I definitely recommend a double electric. If you can coordinate it so that someone can photograph for you while you're pumping, then great. That's something that is absolutely an option and I think would work totally fine. I just felt like I still wanted it to be. You know, brad and I shooting the wedding and and I didn't want to take those breaks. I still wanted to be the lead for those moments, and so I just opted to use the, the double electric pumps, and outside of that, I think the next conversation is a whole one about parenting while being a wedding photographer, how we navigate that.

Speaker 1: 28:05

I will say one thing that has been new for us is that we are now hiring two sitters on wedding days, not just one, or we're leaving the girls with our family because, especially with their ages, they're so young and on two totally different schedules that we just felt like we wanted a sitter for each child to be able to give them the attention that they needed. I even feel like it's hard for me to be with both of them at the same time, with two different schedules, and so that's something that we're doing for the first year, and then after that, we're going to reassess and see like, do we still need two sitters, do we need just one? But you know, parenting, especially parenting while doing wedding photography, is pretty challenging, and so I do think that could be a whole other episode, so I'm going to pause this one here. We are at, oh, about 30 minutes, so I'm going to pause this one here and just say that if there's anything I didn't touch on that you have a question about, please feel free to reach out. You can shoot me a DM.

Speaker 1: 29:05

If you want to join in our Wedding Photography Society, you can go to weddingphotographysocietycom. I am always there chatting in the groups, holding coaching calls. I'm there for questions and we would love to have you as a part of our enrollment, so feel free to connect. I'm so thankful for you tuning in. I have just been loving broadcasting lately because I feel like I've just been a lot more free with it and off the cuff and not so scripted, and it just feels a lot easier and, and, to be quite honest, like fun. I just I'm kind of loving podcasting right now, so I hope you're enjoying this style. I hope you found this insightful and helpful and I just so appreciate you tuning in. If you're enjoying the podcast, please leave a review. It helps us reach more listeners and I look forward to chatting with you in the next episode.