Barnardo's Fostering & Adoption NI

BARNARDO'S BITESIZE: Parent and Child Fostering with Laura and Ben

• Barnardo's Fostering & Adoption NI

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Parent and child fostering brings unique challenges as you welcome both a vulnerable young parent and their baby into your home for an intensive placement. We explore the delicate balance between supporting new parents while documenting their progress, and how these specialised placements can transform lives.

Ness chats with Laura, a Parent and Child foster carer, and Ben from the BFANI social work team. 


• Placements typically last three months due to their intensive 24/7 nature
• Foster carers primarily support the parent to develop their own parenting skills rather than directly caring for the baby
• The first six weeks focus on support and guidance, while the second half allows parents to demonstrate independence
• Foster carers often become advocates for young parents among the many professionals involved

Search for Barnardo's online to learn more about fostering and adoption with us.


Learn more about fostering and adoption with Barnardo’s:
https://www.barnardos.org.uk/get-support/fostering-and-adoption

To learn more about fostering and adoption in NI, visit our Linktr.ee:
https://linktr.ee/barnardosfosteringni

To ask a question, give us some feedback or make a topic request, email us at:
BFANI@barnardos.org.uk

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Speaker 1:

My husband and I came into Bernardos in 2015. Although the agency in Northern Ireland didn't have any other parent and child foster carers at that stage, I have to say they were very well organised and Ben was my supervising social worker at that stage and was very good about organising specific training and bringing over some speakers from the mainland who had been involved in parent and child placements. That was a really good foundation, as well as all the usual statutory training that we do with Bernardos NI as well, because obviously a lot of you know first aid all those sorts of things will be relevant, whether it's parent and child or any sort of placement.

Speaker 2:

One of the things that strikes me about parent and child fostering as opposed to the more traditional form of fostering is that you're not bringing one individual into your life. You're bringing a full grown adult maybe a young adult, but certainly a full grown adult as well as a baby, possibly both parents, and I'm just wondering if you can talk about what that is like to develop a working relationship with an adult young adult who's also just given birth, possibly, and maybe having hormones all over the place. How do you, how do you create an alliance?

Speaker 1:

And well, as you say, you know that is one of the big challenges, alliance. Well, as you say you know that is one of the big challenges Ben touched on earlier about these. Placements are normally about three months because they are incredibly intensive, and that is one of the things that I think is different, in that you're not just bringing a child into your home and a child who's perhaps going to school for part of the week, but someone who is coming in, who will be living with you, and an adult for 24-7. And on top of that, as you say, you have a brand new baby who will be waking through the night, who will be needing fed through the night. So that, I would say, is the biggest challenge of doing a parent and child placement that you do have an adult and you do have the baby. And I think a big part of I think it's good to clarify that a big part of what I see my role to be is not directly involved with the baby. I mean, obviously I am, I'm always there, I'm always watching, I'm always giving advice, I'm a sounding board for the mum, but I'm there to enable the mum to do it herself and to perhaps help her develop skills that she hadn't already developed. So really a large part of my work is with the mum we have. When I talk about mums, as you pointed out, it can be a dad, it could be both parents my experience has been just with the placements we have done has been a mum. So when I say mum, I just like to clarify that. So I think a huge part of it, and a really important part of it, is developing a good relationship with the mum, because obviously you're there.

Speaker 1:

The mum will know when she's coming into a placement that this will be going towards some sort of assessment. That is not carried out by me personally, but obviously it will be social services who will be doing the final assessment, but they will. The reports that I have to write, both daily and weekly, will feed into that assessment. So that can be very daunting for a mum coming in who, as you say, has just given birth. There's a lot going on, she's losing her sleep and so on. So I see it very much as being a multi-faceted role.

Speaker 1:

I'm there to support her first of all, especially in the first half of the placement, because she may have had surgery there are so many. Baby may really have some difficulties, may not be sleeping well. So it's there to be a support to the mum, a listening ear to offer advice, and sometimes I suppose it takes the mum a little bit of time just to trust me, to realise that, yes, she, she can ask questions. That's not going to be held against her. I would always stress and say look, we all ask questions as mums, even if you've had several children. Every child can be different, so don't be afraid to ask questions. I will quite often maybe not have the direct answer myself, so I will be asking questions of other professionals. That's a strength, to ask a question, not necessarily a weakness.

Speaker 1:

So it's about encouraging her, it's about being open with her as well, and so anything that goes in a report to social services will they have been seen by the mum.

Speaker 1:

We will have discussed any issues that have arisen during the day. We'll be discussed informally with her and at the end of the week she will actually see the assessments, any reports that are going back, and we'll be given the opportunity to comment on it if she feels that she needs to. And then in the second half of the placement it changes slightly, whilst the first half for six weeks in our placements, which is how we organise it here in Bernardo's NI is that it is. The emphasis is slightly more on the support. At that stage there will still be assessment ongoing, but in the second half it will be definitely give. I'm taking the opportunity to step back a little bit so that the mum has been given the opportunity to demonstrate the skills that she will need and that hopefully she has learned and able to show, such as caring for her baby physically, emotionally, all those sorts of things, and then she's actually given the opportunity to show that she actually has learned those and can demonstrate those before the end of the placement.

Speaker 2:

I imagine that for new mums, who are sort of on the radar of social services and new mums generally probably have an awful lot of people coming into their lives trying to check on the baby and baby's progress, and I'm just wondering how much of your role is also advocacy and how much you have to engage with all those other services that may be supporting this young family.

Speaker 1:

You're absolutely right.

Speaker 1:

We often joke that, you know, the house becomes a little bit like Piccadilly Circus or a revolving door because there are so many people in and out, quite, apart from social workers, workers, you've got health visitors, you've got midwives, you've got doctors, you've got all sorts of people who are involved in the particular, in that particular placement.

Speaker 1:

Whereas and so I do feel that I am an advocate there for her as well, because I will be the only sort of stable or constant factor throughout those 12 weeks, and I do get, we do get to know each other on a very close level. If you are up three times a night and you're sitting together in her bedroom while she feeds the baby which is one of the jobs I would have to do you know we'll sit and we'll chat and I'll find out about her life, and you know I share some of my life as well. So your lives do become um, entwined, uh, during that time, and so I think I do get a good understanding, whereas maybe someone who's only dropping in, maybe to do a PALMS assessment or whatever it happens to be, will only get to know the mum for an hour and a half, two hours on a couple of sessions. So I'm there, perhaps to balance with other things that may not have been apparent during that hour and a half that that person was there.

Speaker 2:

Which brings me on to something else which might be going on. We often talk about certainly in this podcast and we talk about in the office about attachment and the importance of attachment for children going into families, and I'm wondering about how that attachment works with a vulnerable parent who is looking to be to mother but may also need an aspect of mothering themselves.

Speaker 1:

You're right, and I know, know, certainly in one or two cases in the past where the young mum has been very open and said that she would, you know she didn't have that parenting, she didn't see that sort of attachment and experience that growing up and therefore you know she would actually view us almost as my husband myself, as her, as her parents.

Speaker 1:

So I think a lot of it is modeling behavior as well. So you are modeling it, um, I find you know both, even in our relationship, I mean for my husband and myself modeling it towards the baby. We have extended family who pop in to see us and spend time with us, and so I suppose there's that modelling also with our own grandchildren or our sons and daughters-in-law with their children. So I think that at least with again, that's why that this extended period of time 24, 7 is actually very good because they can maybe see for some of them it is attachment reality that certainly they had never experienced in their lives before. So you're quite right, that is another aspect or another layer of what goes on in those three months.

Speaker 2:

When you come to the end of a placement, do you have to sort of land the new parent gently into their, into their new role?

Speaker 1:

Yes, and that has happened in a number of ways, and obviously when the placement comes to an end, is officially at an end, then I officially have no more role in it.

Speaker 1:

But a lot of the mums they have actually requested that I would stay on, stay in touch and we would keep in touch with through WhatsApp and through text and they would phone video calls with questions that they might have, because we've built up that trust over the three months with, you know, showing me how their children have developed, which gives me the opportunity to affirm what they're doing and maybe to throw in a couple of other suggestions, because obviously a lot of what we do is directed specifically towards the babies at that of what we do is directed specifically towards the babies at that stage, although we do look ahead and we talk generally about parenting and good parenting skills.

Speaker 1:

But you know, other things like teething comes in later and so I would be, you know, someone else to bounce ideas from. I know also know each placement can be different and again, ben will be aware that a situation arose in one particular placement where it was felt it was actually a continued by official role, by going one day a week, um, for, you know a month just to be there to see her in her own home and to maybe look at things specifically that I felt she could you know that they were pertinent to her own setting um as well and just to make sure that she understood that she still had that um support ongoing, rather than it just being a very sudden cut at the end of the placement.

Speaker 2:

Oh, that's great to hear that. Ben, let me bring you in again. What do we look for in a potential parent and child foster carer?

Speaker 3:

Because it is quite specialist. We would certainly be looking for, you know, people who've had experience of parenting parenting young, sorry young children and if not parenting, necessarily that they have worked with young children and maybe in a voluntary or professional capacity. So you know, it's when you think about maybe health care or caring professions. You know you may be nursing, midwifery, health visitor, childcare sector, childminders People have worked a lot with young babies and children and who are perhaps maybe looking for a career break, a career change, sorry, or maybe recently retired and feel that this is something they could do, because we know that fostering is a big commitment and maybe some people feel that they don't, they want to give something, they don't feel they can offer full-time placements but have an interest in this type of fostering placement and would be able to commit to that 12-week period and then obviously have breaks between their placements.

Speaker 3:

I know that can be quite attractive to people who feel they can't do it full-time.

Speaker 3:

Certainly, people who have that kind of background I think would be ideal. But some will come to this with an interest and maybe not have worked professionally with children but have parented, and maybe it's's their own children, maybe more recently grandchildren, and that they can draw on that, that experience. I suppose people also have to be fairly confident and have capacity around good record keeping. I mean it's absolutely crucial for all fostering, but even more so for parent and child fostering because laura's absolutely right, and the foster care isn't taking responsibility for the assessment as such but is a key component in that assessment and the recording is so that the recording of the, the parent's capacity to, you know, meet the needs of the child and how they respond to the child, is so crucial in terms of informing the assessment so, you know, those coming into this would need to be fairly um, you know, let's say, very confident and have that ability to keep very detailed, accurate records and so that, that, as I say, can inform the assessment.

Speaker 2:

I'm hearing Anakin slightly about what that actually might mean, because you might be a really good, you might have great experience with very small babies and you might be keen to learn how to keep accurate notes. I'm just asking are is there good solid training into how you keep those notes and where those notes are kept, presumably in an online special system?

Speaker 3:

it would form part of our training for all foster carers, to be honest. So anyone who was coming into this process with a view to doing parent and child fostering. They would complete the core preparation training that Laura referred to earlier on, but then we would be looking at putting additional training in and one of the key elements of that would be recording record keeping. So there would be lots and lots of the key elements of that would be recording record keeping. Yeah, so there'll be lots and lots of support with that.

Speaker 2:

If you'd like to hear more from the Barnardo's Fostering and Adoption NI podcast, like and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts To learn more about fostering and adoption with us. Search for Barnardo's online or find the link in our programme description.