Hello and welcome to another episode of the Come Compass. So in today's episode I want to talk about the juggle that many women experience every single day of looking after family, attending to work, but also, how do you actually fit in time for yourself and how does that actually look like? I think we have this vision that we may see people say on social media they're talking about some of their practices and we don't know what's happening behind the scenes of actually, even though they've got their recording and even though I might be recording, they also have to let go of how things might be in the rest of the household. So what I want to do is I want to sort of picture how this might look in your life. So what you may notice is you're starting to get a little bit frustrated. You're starting to get that experience that you feel anxious in your body and this could be, you know, a tightening in the throat, or it could be sort of a tightness in the chest, anxiety related, right and sort of feel that, or maybe you feel a little bit twitchy or whatever it is. For you it's being curious of how it feels in your body. Or when I start not listening to what I actually need what happens to my body. So when you get those signs, it's a sign what do I need? Okay, and your ego is always going to be like I need TV or scrolling or whatever, and when we really be honest with ourselves, that's not going to really help us. So, in those situations, for me because sometimes we have this perception of someone doesn't experience stress, or someone's life is you know, you know, oh gosh. Look at their Instagram feed. You know their kids are. Look how beautifully curated that is. And look at their kids you do not know the reality of what's happening, and maybe there's a lot of other things that we don't know. So be very mindful of who you are comparing yourself to.
Speaker 1:
So if I notice in myself that I'm starting to get a little bit agitated, that's my physical sign that I've got to go and do something. Now, what we might go oh yes, but I've got kids. Or oh, yes, but I'm working. Or, yes, but like, start noticing those bad language patterns. So, for me, what do I have to do to make sure that my mental health, my physical well being, is going to be so much better? I'm going to respond in a better way with my kids and also with others. Do I actually have to give them a device? Do I have to do it at a time where they're entertained, they're looked after? And this is what people don't always talk to you about is how can I attend to me? So they're on the TV or they're on the iPad, right, and you're very clear with them. Or you know, or you know I'm going to do be doing this, or you just let it be so for me.
Speaker 1:
When I'm noticing those physical signs, even when they're going, there's havoc in the house, I will go, I'll put my headphones over my ears, listen to some music, really focusing on sort of those long inhales, long exhales, and then I'll do some breath work and then followed in with some meditation, and it may only be some days five minutes before I can start hearing, you know, the sounds of children. So I want to sort of normalise. That is okay. At least you are prioritising even having that moment of silence and you just being, instead of looking for something to distract your mind, and it's not going to support you. And yesterday, even though it's really warm here at the moment, it's also beautiful in the afternoons so I went outside, I did some meditation, did some some breath work and I really was present in that moment of it, like noticing what I could actually see with my eyes. You know there's so many things that are moving that we are moving ourselves too fast that we don't even see or recognise. So, you know, noticing the ants, I was noticing all these different things and it was just a few moments. It was probably 15 minutes. I was sitting out there noticing and I could feel in myself physically different. I could feel that change.
Speaker 1:
And it's interesting that when we are feeling stressed or feeling overwhelmed, we as women are very self-sacrificing. We think that we're doing the world of favour by sacrificing, looking after our mental wellbeing, when in fact you're actually causing so much harm to yourself. And what we've got to remember is, yes, the kids might be on something that is going to distract them, but doing this is going to set me up and even though we sometimes don't recognise, they start seeing what you're doing and how you handle stress. It doesn't mean that they're going to do that now. Maybe one day they will and they'll have those skills available and they'll.
Speaker 1:
You know that modelling behaviour is super helpful, but I just remind myself how much better I feel when I do practice and, in terms of movement, something that helps me cultivate the body and the mind connection is that of yoga and some sun salutations. And you do not have to. You know, sometimes we have to remind ourselves. There are so many free classes on YouTube that you can start your journey on right. We can start our journey for free for even 10 or 5 minutes, and a lot of the time I do that and I can feel I do that, and then I'll do a meditation and then I'm just like, okay, I feel better. Even when there's the craziness happening, even when it's feeling hectic, we're doing that. I know, I've set myself up, so we've just got to be kind to ourselves and small steps of how we're doing that.
Speaker 1:
And it's interesting as women we feel that we're doing the world of service by sacrificing our own needs. But what are we actually teaching our next generation of little people? Are we teaching them that it's okay to sacrifice your own mental well-being? Are we teaching them that and we may unconsciously not want that at all, so it's just been mindful that it's okay to spend a few minutes each day connecting back to yourself so you can feel like you can cope a little bit easier, and that is okay, and let's celebrate and normalize. This is so important for us as human beings that we need that moment. So if you enjoyed today's podcast episode, please leave us a five star review and tag us at Real Vision Live Coaching. Thanks for listening.