Navigating the holidays can already feel like a maze, but when you add in parenting a child on the autism spectrum, it becomes more like an intricate labyrinth. As someone who lives this reality every day as a mother and a caregiver, I'm opening up about my personal experiences in this episode.
Tune in for an honest conversation about the realities - the highs, the lows, and everything in between - of raising a child on the autism spectrum.
Navigating the holidays can already feel like a maze, but when you add in parenting a child on the autism spectrum, it becomes more like an intricate labyrinth. As someone who lives this reality every day as a mother and a caregiver, I'm opening up about my personal experiences in this episode.
Tune in for an honest conversation about the realities - the highs, the lows, and everything in between - of raising a child on the autism spectrum.
Hello and welcome to another episode of the Calm Compass podcast. So in today's podcast episode I want to talk about holidays. I want to talk about this from the perspective of Pina Cara and having a child who's on the spectrum, and how holidays may evoke all these different emotions and how we can support ourselves. For those who don't know, I am obviously an anxiety and stress coach business owner, but I am also a mother and a caregiver. My youngest has autism and since the age of two he has quite profound expressive speech delay, which has affected his ability to interact socially, emotionally and also it's just been a huge adjustment, as his parents and family as well.
Speaker 1:
So at the moment we are on holidays and I think sometimes we can have this assumption that holidays can be such a ah, you know, it's such a great time and it is, and it's really managing those expectations of how it's actually going to realistically be and sometimes the reality of how things are really doesn't I have to remind myself and sometimes I'm in it and I'm frustrated and yeah, and I think it's also about detaching from other people's judgment of what other people are going to say, because you do not know what every single person is going through. We're only seeing such a small part of what someone is showing and it's sort of like that iceberg analogy. People are only showing such a small part of their personality through their behaviors, through their actions, and there is so much that we're not seeing of what's actually going on and how this can actually affect relationships as well. You know, being a caregiver is, you know, added stress. Being a parent is added responsibility and expectations, but when you are a caregiver, you're added more responsibility of what that involves. So it all starts sometimes where you think, great, I'm going to do all these things and it's going to be great, I'm going to do all of these things. And for someone who's autistic, doing all of those things can be quite an honorous task. And we have to remind ourselves that we all see the world very differently.
Speaker 1:
But for me, you know, it's sometimes hits home we were going for a nice walk and obviously they're in a need, wants to be met, and sometimes that's really difficult. You can't always meet someone's in a need because they might want something that you cannot deliver right. And how do you manage that as parents and caregivers? So it all started with a bike, a beautiful, pretty bike with beautiful tassels. However, the level of insight of you fatigue, you don't like. You know, using the pedals, you know, because of his low muscle tone, it's really difficult. You tire your, you know all of that level of insight is not there, Just that real black and white, concrete thinking. I want it and even when we went and looked at other ones where you could hire because we actually just do not have the space to take it back home as well as him fatiguing, couldn't see that that real concrete thinking. And there were tears and how you negotiate that you know it's you just have sometimes you want to go on a holiday and you want to do all of these things and I think, having a child on the spectrum, I never really anticipated what this actually is going to be like and what is expected of them.
Speaker 1:
When it's different, they might have something very set in their minds and how you sort of work out how to do that. And that puts also added stress on the caregivers the caregivers of wanting to do that. And when we're under enormous stress, especially as caregivers, that can put, you know, fractions in relationships. So it's, how do we support ourselves during those times? What can we do to enhance our mental and physical well being, even if they're a few minutes, even if it's getting out doing things. And how do we do that? So holidays can evoke a flurry of emotions and really looking at expectations and looking at what we can do, and maybe it's sometimes that tag team when children are really young, you can't always do long things because they also fatigue, and so having a child who's on the spectrum, it's really understanding that and also not comparing yourself to other children who are autistic.
Speaker 1:
There's different, it is a spectrum. Some people are very, very high functioning and some people require more assistance and sometimes things change depending on the level of support they're receiving and the level of developmental age they are as well. So I think my takeaway for you is just to be kind when you're going on holidays, plan as much as you can and do those little things, those practices that are going to support you. So that could be through yoga, that could be even reading. You know, having as a way that you can sort of, if you are in the home a bit longer, having something that isn't going to aggravate your overwhelm and anxiety, and sometimes, when we are already in that state, and certain activities evoke more of that ether and air energies of scrolling can be more of that air energy, whereas reading can be quite a grounding element and quite grounding if we're already feeling quite anxious and overwhelmed. So, having these practices that are going to support you and having little sort of treats and things to look forward to, and supporting each other and really doing the best you can and you know we are all human being so I really wanted to share that, be super transparent and how sometimes holidays can evoke so many different emotions and you know how we can support each other during that.
Speaker 1:
So I hope you enjoyed today's podcast episode. If you enjoyed today's podcast, please tag us at Real Vision Life Coaching and share on your socials. We love having reviews so more people just like you can hear it too. Have the most magical day. Bye.