In this episode, we delve into the transformative concepts of radical responsibility and self-love, aiming to shift your mindset and create positive outcomes.
Are you an action-taker who believes you're already making strides?
Radical responsibility is moving away from external circumstances as the problem, looking at my circle of control, and taking ownership of your results or lack thereof.
Navigating the turbulent waters of life, we uncover the true essence of control and the pivotal role of constructing an environment that nurtures our well-being.
This episode equips you with self-coaching tools designed to transform stress and anxiety into pillars of personal growth.
This conversation goes beyond merely exchanging ideas—it's a clarion call to revolutionise your approach to life and relationships with an empowered mindset.
Join us on this journey of self-discovery and transformation as we explore the profound impact of radical responsibility and self-love.
In this episode, we delve into the transformative concepts of radical responsibility and self-love, aiming to shift your mindset and create positive outcomes.
Are you an action-taker who believes you're already making strides?
Radical responsibility is moving away from external circumstances as the problem, looking at my circle of control, and taking ownership of your results or lack thereof.
Navigating the turbulent waters of life, we uncover the true essence of control and the pivotal role of constructing an environment that nurtures our well-being.
This episode equips you with self-coaching tools designed to transform stress and anxiety into pillars of personal growth.
This conversation goes beyond merely exchanging ideas—it's a clarion call to revolutionise your approach to life and relationships with an empowered mindset.
Join us on this journey of self-discovery and transformation as we explore the profound impact of radical responsibility and self-love.
Hello and welcome to another episode of the Calm Compass podcast. So in today's podcast episode, I want to talk to you about something that has shifted my mindset and something that can really support you to change the results within your life. Like, if you want to change how you think, if you want to change how you feel, it's doing this shift Right, and for me, this was something that really helped change something. But I also want to promise that this was something that was a journey within itself. I thought I was doing it and, yeah, so you're probably like well, can you give me a bit more context about what you're actually talking about? What it is is about radical responsibility and also radical self-love. Now you might be going well, I am an action taker. You don't understand, I am the biggest action taker and you know what I hear. You. I don't know exactly how you are an action taker within your life, but for me, I was an action taker. I was doing a lot of the things that I thought I had to do to see results, and the biggest thing that I really struggled with the most was around the mindset of I kept focusing on what wasn't working within my life, of what wasn't going great and I noticed that this loud chatter was incredibly vocal when everything else was quiet. So that's sometimes why we feel our lives, because we hear things and you know, we hear those thoughts that maybe don't feel good. So that's understanding. Oh gosh, I do that instead of persecuting ourselves and understanding it from that different lens. That, oh, that's why I do it. It's a protective mechanism. I'm doing it because, you know, that feels heavy and the more that we keep pushing down those feelings, though, even though they feel really difficult and hard to acknowledge, they're just going to keep surfacing up. They're never going to truly go away until we address it. And I know that sometimes a really hard thing to digest. Like, oh, you know, sometimes that whole saying it's not a problem until it's a problem, the thing is, it is a problem in your life because if you're waking up thinking about it, or when things are not busy and you can, you're going to that of what isn't working within your life, then that could be and you might be like, well, what do you mean? Taking radical ownership and radical self love? Like you know, I'm the biggest action taker. I'm, you know, and I just want to acknowledge you right now, because sometimes we have this belief that if we do something once we you know, we can hear a podcast or we can see something on social media and we they're talking about all of the milestones that they have come across or you know, you know, do this and you're going to be changed. It is always a journey. You've got to understand that. This whole journey of life, and the more that we're able to really understand ourselves and what, how we, what makes us tick, what makes us feel agitated it is just going to support you, no matter what right. So radical responsibility.
Speaker 1:
It's not just about taking ownership right for our actions or consequences. It's going that. It's going even deeper. It means being 100% responsible for our lives, regardless of those external factors. It's looking at it from not looking at the past what didn't work, or that this person let you down. It's looking at it from taking that ownership that from this day on, the owner it stops with me and I'm going to change things. So it's sort of looking at it as like the no blame like, instead of looking at it as externally, what's happening, it's the external reason why you're not what you want right. It's just taking that responsibility that I have choice. I can make a decision, I can do that and it can just be. It's a gang changer, like people, always a lot, but it's that one thing. And it's a journey.
Speaker 1:
But it's such a big, big thing that I think a lot of the time we just are not really understanding what it actually means. What actually is radical ownership and responsibility? And always when I'm talking to people, I know if they are taking radical responsibility within their life or they are unintentionally letting all of those external things from the past that haven't worked, get them down and that sometimes that's all we can see and that's all our focus. So radical responsibility is acknowledging our emotions, okay. So, rather than like keep pushing those heavy things that feel difficult and hard, acknowledging what's happening, noticing where that is within your body, being aware of what that particular event was that triggered that situation. So emotions are internal and it's so interesting that when I've done this work with many of my clients that when I'm teaching them essentially how to look at situations differently, how to coach themselves, utilizing a bit of that cognitive behavior therapy understanding, okay, something happens they always go into the story of how they feel, right, because it's such a big part.
Speaker 1:
Our feelings create our behaviors and our actions and we've got to understand that a lot of the time we are driven by emotions. So if we have a better awareness about this, we're gonna know. Okay, well, in this particular situations, I feel this emotion, I feel jealousy, or I feel annoyance, or I feel anger, or this is what I'm feeling and this is the emotion that I'm noticing, instead of it looking out what, what, what am I noticing? What do I need to start addressing? What do I need to forgive myself? What do I need to forgive others for myself? Not the behavior for myself. Okay, so it's looking at the radical responsibility. It's looking at where we're locating the cause and control of our lives within ourselves. So we're not looking at Damn, you know I like it's. You know I'll use a car analogy because I think a lot of people can understand that Something happens to your car.
Speaker 1:
Someone who may not have the full understanding of radical responsibility will go very much into that fight or flight but very much into the blaming of wow, it was this person's fault, right, and if you're there, that is okay, because you're listening to hear a different perspective and awareness. Okay, so to start moving yourself into understanding about radical responsibility. It's just understanding that, well, geez, that is really unfortunate. I'm really annoyed. I'm feeling all these emotions, feel the emotions, just what's happening and then going. Well, what can I do about it? What is in my circle of control? Yeah, and I think, when we can start really going, what can I control this? No, I can't control the weather, no, but there's a high chance that it could rain. How do I want to control this situation? How do I want to control if I'm planning a picnic? Well, it might be that the way that you're controlling and taking radical ownership is you have accepted the fact that it could rain, it's a very high likelihood that it could rain, but it's okay. You have no control over the weather and if it is, everything's just going to work out fine. It's someone who's taking radical ownership and responsibility that if it rains, we'll figure it out, it's going to be okay, right? So it's just going.
Speaker 1:
Yes, I see, and looking at what you can and can't control and, as I said before, it's a practice, it's showing our mind different ways. So when we're realising, we have identified, we've got that awareness within ourselves that, oh, maybe I do have a tendency to blame and no matter what, and it's very easy to get involved in all of that. You have to make a conscious decision that you have to really think about is that actually helping you? Is the way that you're thinking about that helping you? Is it? Are you continuing to see the same results? And if you are, then it would be exploring well, how can I apply a little bit of that self? You know responsibility and ownership, what is in my circle of control?
Speaker 1:
And when we're in that mindset where we're feeling quite overwhelmed and engulfed and we're feeling like there's one thing after another and we just have to sort of just take a moment and just sort of collect what's happening, we have to understand what emotions are bubbling over. And it may be that you can't process everything in that moment, that maybe you are feeling really annoyed, but then you might go. Well, what can I control? And when we start knowing about radical responsibility, but even a step before that, about understanding what is in my circle of control, it is our game changer. This is one of the big things that I looked at is what was control meaning for me? And sometimes we have experiences earlier in our childhood that we didn't feel that we had control. We felt maybe powerless. We felt like we didn't have that stable authority figure, and so we have felt that we had to assert power. We had to assert that power and so, when we really have that really good understanding about control, how it's showing up, what it's gifting me and what am I able to let go of what is in my circle of control. The circle of control is what actually can I control within this, what is in my ability to control?
Speaker 1:
And most of the times, you have influence. You can influence certain environments. We are very affected by our environments. That's why having an environment that is going to be supportive of your well-being is so important, and that is why some people continue to be in cycles because they're in environments that are not going to support them and help them thrive. We need to be in environments that are going to support our well-being so we can shift out of that, taking ownership and taking that self-radical responsibility. And this is a journey. It's not something that you're hearing and you're going. Okay, I'm going to do that.
Speaker 1:
It's when life throws us a lemon that we start practicing this, little by little by little, and just noticing that when something is out of your control, you do have a real responsibility, a reaction mode and instead of just going oh well, I can't control them, and a lot of the time people are just projecting what's internally going on for them anyway. And so that is why having a professional guide you to understand your subconscious mind, understanding your behaviors, what you're doing, what your default mechanisms are right, it helps you, it supports you, to enable you to uncover your motivations, your motivators, you know, identifying what those mechanisms for coping. How have you coped in the past? Is it working for you? Yes, no, and it's looking at not just you, but looking at the effects within other elements of your life, and this is something that I really support my clients through.
Speaker 1:
As a coach that has a background as a social worker, I bring such a unique process because sometimes we humans are not black and white. We have all come from different perspectives and experiences and we really need to have that professional to support us. So I invite you to have a look at the show notes, because I have a guide there to help you navigate through your stressful and anxious thoughts. I have a tool in there that helps you to basically coach yourself when those circumstances that would normally you would normally go into a situation where you would blame someone and you're starting to see what, how I can start changing not just the outcomes but the whole behaviors, changing the physiology of what I want, and so that is powerful. So I've put that in the show notes and that is something that can help you. If you're very visual, there's a visual cue and there's also for people who are very kinesthetic and auditory. There's some things in there that can really help you.
Speaker 1:
So I hope you have enjoyed today's podcast episode, really talking about radical responsibility and radical ownership and that, yes, it is a journey, but it is something that is going to shift the way that you start doing life and I think sometimes, when we start having that mindset, it starts here and ends here. I get to choose how things are. I get to perceive things how I, how I want. It's a game changer. So I hope you found that helpful. Please leave us a review and share with your friends. Have the most beautiful.