Don't Buy Into The Lies: Balancing Business and Motherhood Like a Rockstar

Ever wondered how to juggle the roles of being a mother and an entrepreneur simultaneously without losing your sanity? Our guest, Kristi, a successful consultant and a mother of three, unravels her journey of balancing motherhood and building a thriving business. This episode is a deep dive into the art of wearing multiple hats, dealing with 'mom guilt', and aligning your family with your entrepreneurial aspirations.

We then transition into discussing the nuts and bolts of setting goals, boundaries, and managing time effectively as a 'mompreneur'. Shedding light on the importance of clear communication within families, we assert the indispensability of anticipating crucial obligations. Shattering the traditional notion of 'balance', we instead introduce the concept of finding tranquility, sustainability, and resilience in the whirlwind of being a 'mompreneur'. Let's gear up and take action towards fulfilling our vision!

Wrapping up, we dissect the mindset requisite for thriving as a mompreneur. Drawing inspiration from iconic figures like Freddie Mercury, we stress the significance of developing a 'stage persona' and not solely identifying with the role of a mom. We encourage you to challenge self-imposed limitations and to reject the lies that may have held you back. This episode is your clarion call to step into your strength as a mompreneur, to relish the journey, and to remain steadfastly focused on your dreams. Get ready to be inspired, equipped, and empowered! #coffeeortequila

Guest Mompreneur: Shannon Weldy
Website: simplyscent2be.com
IG @shannonsimplyscent2be

Guest Mompreneur: Kristi Van Nuys
Website kristiv.myrandf.biz
IG @kristivan

PUSH by Chalene Johnson
https://amzn.to/3PGqYMa

Chop Wood, Carry Water by Joshua Medcalf
https://amzn.to/3LFI3Vc

Get Your Business In The Spotlight!
chop wood https://www.daphnewalter.com/wlb

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:08

Hey, hey, welcome back and thanks for tuning in to the Mom Prenuer Like a Rockstar podcast. My name is Daphne and I'm your host. I'm also a wife of Mama2. And I have been an entrepreneur in some capacity for over 25 years. Whether it's juggling many roles in the corporate world, starting a brick and mortar, building into a franchise and even growing a network marketing team of over 3,000 partners, I can tell you that I have come such a long way from the struggle. I remember the times I could not even manage changing a dirty diaper and hopping on a team call at the same time. And now, fast forward all these years and I manage, well, co-manage four different businesses with my husband and two teenage daughters and, honestly, most days I don't know which is the tougher job. So that kind of leads us into today, which is how to not buy into the lies Because, yes, you can have a successful career and a happy family too.

Speaker 1: 1:10

Now, this is the episode. I actually grabbed a cup of coffee this morning because I'm like this episode I either need coffee or a shot of tequila to get through this one, and I don't drink tequila, so I'm just a beer girl. So it's a Saturday morning, we're just going to start off with some coffee today, coffee and a little chat. But this episode I'm just going to throw out the disclaimer that this is one that you're probably going to want to strap in for, because we're going to talk about some shit, and I don't mean to be insensitive about the topic of balancing entrepreneurship with motherhood, but if you listened to my very first podcast episode where I talked about how this podcast actually came about, it was because I wanted to give you guys the real, raw experience of being an entrepreneur, and I mean nothing greater than giving that experience than just just stop you across the face with it. Right, this is your daily dose of reality.

Speaker 1: 2:07

Because really, I think a lot of times when, especially women get started in network marketing and either it's a peer, a mentor, an upline, even just someone on their team they're pumping their head full of these and I feel bad even saying it this way full of these visions, because visions are good things, but oftentimes we fall short to leave out all the hard things, the bumpy roads, the winding roads, all those times that you're going to want to feel like giving up. And I know this firsthand because when I got started, like I mentioned, I was on the struggle bus and when I first got started I kept telling myself over and over I cannot do this. This is not meant for me, I am not built this way and this is never going to happen. But in the last episode if you just listened to the last episode we talked about like the human needs I gave you a little teaser about today and we're going to actually hear from two different women in network marketing. These are friends of mine, but these two women have managed to successfully found ways to balance their career, their family and their ever-changing lives.

Speaker 1: 3:18

So with that, I just want to jump right into it. We're just going to get down and dirty with this episode today. So we're going to jump right in and we're going to hear from Christy. Christy and I we actually have known each other since high school and because of social media we've been able to stay in contact all these years and I'd say I've been a loyal customer of hers for at least, or maybe even a little, over the last 10 years. Christy, she's a great example of showing that it's possible to raise a family, wear those many hats and still build a thriving network marketing business, because for over the last, I don't know 20 years or so. However long we've been online with social media, I personally witnessed and watched her not just grow her family, but an incredible team of successful women. So let's hear from Christy.

Speaker 2: 4:11

My name is Christy Van Nuys and I have been a Rodin and Fields consultant for almost 13 years now. I represent the number one skincare brand in the United States and have grown an incredible team of like-minded women who I am lucky to call business partners and friends. I am a mom to three teenage boys and a married to a man who, when I started this business, was traveling at least three nights a week. My boys have always been busy and involved in lots of different sports and activities, and still are today. My oldest plays baseball at the college level and between my other two, they play four different sports at their high school. I am our sports boosters vice president, the team mom to two of their teams and very active in my community.

Speaker 2: 5:00

My biggest tip is to find something you believe in or passionate about, and do not give up. It is your journey, so do not compare your success to others. You will find that some of your closest friends do not support you, but there will be others who surprise you and will be your biggest cheerleaders. I will forever be grateful that I took the risk and said yes to this opportunity, and for the lifelong friendships I have made and the paychecks that have allowed my family and I to do things we never dreamed were possible.

Speaker 1: 5:37

Wow, that was amazing. Hearing from Christy actually was a great lead-in to today's topic. If you guys haven't caught on by now, I just love to shout out other women who are creating flexible and fulfilling careers as mompreneurs. At the end of today's episode I'm going to give you that reminder again of how you can submit your info to me and have a chance at possibly getting your name and business shouted out on my podcast and my social platforms. It's absolutely free, okay, so let's jump into it.

Speaker 1: 6:12

Let's talk about mom guilt. Does anyone else have that? Because when a mom signs up in network marketing or just embarking on a new entrepreneurial journey anyway, typically she's in one of two areas of her life, and I understand everybody's situation and circumstances are different, but typically, from my experience working with hundreds of thousands of women as a mom, you're either starting off in two points. The first one is you are a stay-at-home mom who decided to start this at-home business or entrepreneurial journey because you need to add, or want to add, an additional stream of income to the household. Or if you're not a stay-at-home mom, then you're a mom that works outside of the home and maybe this new business is either to help with some extra finances or the long-term goal is to eventually bring yourself home to your family, no matter where you are, there is a certain level of mom guilt that comes with it. Now, either a working mom feels guilty because here she is, she's already gone at work all day long, and either she comes home and tries to make some time for her family before the kids eat dinner and go to bed, but usually by the at that time you're just you're exhausted. So I know a lot of moms that when they work outside the home, as soon as they'd come home, they still carve out about an hour or so of time to work on their business. But even that hour, just knowing that they were at home, their babies were right outside of the door on the other side. There's just that level of guilt that comes with it. I know for me, I was a stay-at-home mom and I just felt guilty, even though so let me take a step back.

Speaker 1: 7:56

When I signed up, it was 2011 with Beachbody and I just had our second baby. She was seven months old and I wanted to lose the baby weight. I knew that Beachbody had an income opportunity that was involved. I saw some of my friends even doing it. But one, I didn't think that it was for me and two, I immediately just felt guilty. Anytime I thought about wanting to do something for myself, because this isn't your typical job. That's up to society. Standard Network marketing isn't that like a pyramid scheme, everyone kind of turns their nose and you know what are you doing. And just overall I just felt guilty.

Speaker 1: 8:37

Here we decided as a family for me to stay at home with our babies. My husband was working and often time he was working a lot out of town. So you know I was playing the single mom role and I just felt guilty that I was being allowed and it sounds really bad. So don't take this the wrong way. It's not like my husband gave me permission to stay at home because it was a mutual decision. But in my mind and maybe some other moms don't agree with this or women won't agree if I am lucky enough to be able to stay at home and raise my babies, I feel like that cert comes with a certain level of obligations as well, like it should be my job to take care of the house. It should be my job to do the grocery shopping. That's just part of the motherhood responsibilities and granted my husband. You know when he was home and not too tired from, you know, putting in all the hours he would help. He'd do dishes, he'd cook dinners most times, but for the most part it was my job. And so wanting to interrupt that time to do something for myself like scroll social media and, you know, post a picture of me working out or whatever it was I was doing that day I just felt guilty that instead I probably should have been folding a load of laundry.

Speaker 1: 9:50

Now, it's not that I didn't want to be successful or I wasn't curious about what was possible. I just told myself that the family came first, the dishes came first, the random trips to Target and the coffee shop, all those came first. You obviously saw where my priorities lied. So I would only work on my hobby and I'm calling it a hobby at this point because I had not earned the right to call it a business so I would only work on my hobby during those small pockets of time that I had any time or energy leftover after pouring into everybody and everything else, and sometimes at the end of the day that meant nothing. I mean, I had a seven month old baby and I had a four year old. There is no such thing as any extra time or energy. So that meant that most days I did nothing with my hobby.

Speaker 1: 10:44

But in my mind, if I labeled it and just treated it like a hobby, then I didn't have to have any emotional attachment for its lack of success, for whatever reason. I had it in my mind that if I started to care more about this hobby thing, that somehow my loved ones would feel less loved or cared for. I don't know why I had that backwards. You know what I used to do. I mean, I'm embarrassed to admit this, but maybe some of you are doing it too, so you can relate.

Speaker 1: 11:16

But anytime that I would find myself trying to get up the courage or the confidence to be more serious about this business opportunity, like, okay, maybe I can do this or maybe I can try doing this, I wouldn't tell anybody, though. I would just keep it to myself, mainly because if I failed, I didn't want it to be embarrassed and have people look at me as a failure. But I would just keep all these hopes and dreams tucked inside. Like I would have those visions in my head. I could clearly see myself building a team and walking across stage and earning the recognition and doing all those things and making this my lifestyle. But when I was around my family, the people that were most important to me, I just kept it all inside. I treated it like no big deal or oh, it's just this little thing I do when the kids go to bed. Or you know my husband's watching your TV on the couch. You know what happened Not taking it serious, not giving it my best. Well, obviously I wasn't getting results. I was exhausted because I felt like I was living a double life and I began to have resentment towards the opportunity. Like, have you ever done that? You don't take responsibility for your own bullshit? So you turn around and you blame it on the company or the products, or even I haven't forbid people on your team for the reason why you weren't able to make it work. Living and hiding is no way to live and it's surely no way to build a business.

Speaker 1: 12:52

So let's jump into this episode. Let's just start to really really talk for a minute. So I'm going to just share with you a quick story about what the night was that changed for me. It sparked and really made my mindset go from hobby to hola. Atcha girl, I'm in business. So we're going to hear just that quick story and kind of just the few things that I did to make that shift. Then we I'm so excited we are going to hear from our guest of honor, shannon, and then, right after that, we're going to jump into that big ass slap of rock star reality. You ready? It was the night of, and I don't remember the exact day, but it was in January. It was a brand new year, new year, new me, right. So it was January 2012,.

Speaker 1: 13:43

About nine months after I had already signed up with Beachbody, and here I just been tippy towing in and out of business, not really taking it that serious. But I was introduced to this book and the title of the book is called Push by Shalene Johnson, and I'll put the link into the show notes. Push by Shalene Johnson is actually a super trainer with Beachbody. So when I started my fitness journey, the program I started with was called Turbofire and she was the trainer. That's where I lost all my weight, that's where I had my transformation and that's really where I feel like, looking back now. That's really truly when my journey began. Like I could, I could put a date on it, you know, months or even years later. But the moment I signed up as a coach whether I thought I was taking it serious or I even knew what I was doing at that time that truly was the day that my my life changed. But here it is, in January. It's the nighttime and I'm sitting in my living room on my couch in front of the fireplace with a glass of wine.

Speaker 1: 14:42

And I got to the point in this book where she has you write out goals, and not just your goals, but you put them in future tense. So, for example, if my goal was to make $2,000 a month with my network marketing business, I wrote you know, 2000 a month was my goal. And then the next column I manifested it. So I put I make $2,000 a month. And we had to do that for 10 different goals. And I remember at the time kind of giggling to myself calling this is so dumb. Well, first of all, it's the first time I ever wrote out goals, so I really didn't know or understand how powerful the goals are, or even actually the act of writing out goals, because if you've never done it before, there is something truly magical when that pin hits the paper. It's like as you write the words and the words start to appear. It's like that goal is already starting to take action and start to work and start to come to life. It's truly amazing. It's different than doing a voice text or anything like that. It's the arts of the actual moving the pin.

Speaker 1: 15:52

I don't know, maybe I'm going a little too far into that, but I remember writing out these goals and just thinking how unrealistic and how unachievable that they were. But then something just kind of hit me. I'm staring down at this binder piece of paper and I'm looking at everything and it's like, okay, well, you really haven't been taking this too serious. So you're nine months into it. What are you really doing, daphne?

Speaker 1: 16:19

I think that was the night I know it was the night where I came to a crossroad because I knew I could not sustain the chaos that I was living in. At that time, like I said, I felt like I was living this double life. A part of me wanted all this, and then the other part of me had this, which I had was amazing, but the two weren't connecting and I wasn't allowing that to connect. So I had to make the decision to either just give up or to go. And so I looked down and I'm reading these goals and I made a commitment to myself. I told myself, daphne, if anything, just go after these goals. If you try and you don't do it, fine. If you try and you do do it and you don't want to do any more, fine. But if you try and you do do it, what else could happen? Because when I sat there looking at that sheet of paper, it showed me what life could look like if I were to stick to this. But it also scared the shit out of me because it showed me everything that I could possibly be missing out on if I were to give up. No one's told you yet Quitting. It doesn't just affect you.

Speaker 1: 17:36

So when you start a brand new business or you decide to take that side hustle from hobby to true mom-preneur, there's definitely a few things that are required to happen. First and foremost was the absolute obvious, and that's I had to communicate it to my family. You know I couldn't just like keep straddling the fence. It was like let's go all in and we're going to sit down and we're going to tell them what we're going to do. So I communicate with our family. It was great because then we sat down and we started and we still do this today, where I mainly take charge of this.

Speaker 1: 18:08

But I like cross our calendar. So I'll sit down every month, sometimes even weekly, depending on how busy things are getting that month, and I'll write out all my obligations. I actually just did this last night, perfect example I got a new planner in the mail so I went through and I went online to my kids calendar for school and I had to write out their fall break coming up in October, and then I had to write out the days that they ignore half days because of parent-teacher conferences, things like that. So I'll go out and I kind of made up this term called cross calendaring. So I write out all my important obligations, all the things I can't say no to, and then I start filling in all the things I can't say yes to, like where my business hours are, things like that. So, speaking of the business hours and communication, we had to cover some boundaries also. So, like my family knew, hey, yes, I have responsibilities as stay a whole mom, but if mom is locked up in her office with the door shut with a big old sign that says, on a team call, don't come running in there asking for a cheeset. Okay, that was the boundaries. So we communicated, we kind of cross referenced our calendars, set those business hours and boundaries, got my family involved. I mean they just they loved being a part of it. The kids got excited when they would see me, you know, make a sale, because they knew that meant it was getting closer to earning our trip for that next year or whatever that it was.

Speaker 1: 19:29

I didn't do it alone and this is something that Shannon's actually going to talk about in just a moment. I didn't do it alone. I plugged in with mentors, I plugged in with other mom prenuer groups you hear me talk about this almost on every episode just the power of community and collaboration, and that's this is definitely an area where that applied. So I would say the last thing that I did and I never even knew that there was really a term for it, it's just something that I knew had to be done. This isn't the big old slap in the face aha that I'm going to be given to you in just a moment, but this is definitely a big bonus that I can't stress enough is so super important and if you want to find peace, sustainability and strength in being a mom prenuer, you have to completely let go of the idea of what balance looks like. Now you might be going oh that's because balance it doesn't exist. Oh no, it does. Trust me, there's balance in everything. You have to have balance. But it's not what you think.

Speaker 1: 20:39

A lot of people, when they think of balance, they think of equally distributed weight. What comes to mind as soon as you think of balance? A teeter totter. Right, I know, for me that's what comes to mind. And if you think about a teeter totter, if one side gets too heavy, it bottoms out, which means whatever is on the opposite end of that teeter totter, it's going to go flying off. Which, if I had to use any example as a best example to explain mom prenuership, a teeter totter would probably be it.

Speaker 1: 21:13

It's never equal. Something's usually hitting the ground, something's usually flying in the air, but at the end of the day it all works out. So balance, it's not 50-50. It's actually a total of 100%. And if you look at that way, it changes your whole entire perspective, because at the end of the day, you cannot give 100% to everything. You just can't. And it's also not possible to evenly distribute all your time and energy into all the different roles and responsibility that you have every single day. So, in my mind, I had a good day if, at the end of the day, my total time, effort and commitment to my family, my business, my roles, my play and even my rest just equaled 100%. Now, ladies, there's some days that 100% is all just rest, and so here I don't even realize that there's actual term for the mind shift that I took and just kind of the way that I changed things around. Like I said, I changed my perspective.

Speaker 1: 22:41

But a few months ago I read a book called Chopwood Carry Water and I'll also link its info in the show notes as well. But I literally read this book in less than three hours. I started at the airport. I had like an hour wait until we were boarding, so I started it in the terminal and I finished it. We had less than a short little flight it was less than two hours and I finished the book completely on the plane. I actually ironically, at the very, very end, when it said like the end at the book, that's when our wheels hit the ground, like at the same exact second, it was like, oh my gosh, this is like meant to be. Anyways, so off topic, but the book. It's called Chopwood Carry Water.

Speaker 1: 23:16

There's a chapter in the book where they talk about surrendering to the outcome. Now, surrendering to the outcome means that you are free to be your best at whatever needs to be taken care of. And when I look at it this way, it's just like that mom guilt goes out the window because, surrendering to the outcome, your days are not gonna go perfect every single day. You could have your perfect idea of what your routine is gonna look like that day and something is gonna happen. You get a call from the school, your kid just threw up in the trash can in the bathroom and you need to cancel a team call that you had scheduled in that next hour. Instead of getting upset about it, we have to surrender to the outcome. You just know that you need to switch gears. Your best right now needs to be to go and get your kid from school and make sure that they're okay, and you have to be okay with that. For so long I would just start to feel guilty like, oh my gosh, like this got interrupted and now I can't do that thing and my whole day is ruined and this person's gonna be mad and blah, blah, blah, or I still try to do all the things to please everybody and, at the end of the day, nobody got my best. So surrendering to the outcome just simply means that you don't care any less about your other priorities that you have going on. You just know that, in order to keep the peace with the things outside of your control, that you don't have to sacrifice the effort or care that you have for what's inside of your control, because eventually, it balances out.

Speaker 1: 24:59

Okay, let's come up first and Mayor for just a minute and we're gonna hear from Shannon, our guest of honor, and then we're gonna jump right into this big bang theory that I keep teasing you guys about. So this is the time where you're probably gonna want to strap in, grab your cup of coffee too, or maybe you're at the point where you're like shoot, I might need that shot of tequila. So let's go ahead and hear from Shannon. We met in October of 2019, so exactly four years ago and we went on a cruise. A group of mutual friends all got together, so there's a huge group of us that went on a cruise. I'd only known a couple of the people on the cruise, so there were some people that I it was my first time meeting and Shannon and her husband Jason were one of those couples, and I quickly learned that her husband Jason is a jokester because on the very first day that we met I swore this guy was hitting on my husband and I'm just like at first it was kind of funny.

Speaker 1: 25:54

You're like ha ha ha. Then, like the day goes by and you're like, wait a minute, is this guy serious? Like okay, it's not just him, it's his wife. And then I'm like looking around at like our friends that we do know and I'm like I wonder if they know they brought like swingers on this group cruise. Like what did we sign up for? Ha ha ha, I'm just kidding. At the end of the day it all worked out. It was just it was a lot of fun and over the course of the week cruise, the more we hung out, obviously, the more booze that we consumed. We all became just really great friends. And what happens when you become good friends? You become friends on social media.

Speaker 1: 26:28

I've been in network marketing for a really long time, so for the most part I have my people Like I know who my skincare consultant is. I know who my party like candle consultant is. Like I know my certain people. One, because these women have stuck to their businesses for so long that I admire that. Not too, I'm gonna give my business to. But two, I just I'm all about loyalty. I'm not someone that's just gonna jump ship just cause this person then signed up and this person that signed up.

Speaker 1: 26:58

So it wasn't until just this last year that the person that I was working with for Sensey decided to retire. So I immediately thought of Shannon. She was a no-brainer and she has been my go-to gal ever since, and before we hear from her, I'm just gonna give her a little shout out. She is amazing. The people that I love to support in network marketing are those that are treating it like a business and that are striving to always be better. I understand with network marketing it's so easy to take this business into different levels, like I started to discount coach, then I kind of tippy-toed into the hobby and then obviously full on business.

Speaker 1: 27:39

So what I love about Shannon is she is all in. She runs a community group on Facebook that she's very active in. She earns all the annual trips and retreats and I'm constantly seeing her shouting out or her business and her successes, y'all. It's to the point. Now I don't even go to her website in order. She just knows my credit card number. I don't know, probably by heart at this point, and I'll just send her a quick little message of oh, I want this, I want this, and then next thing I know it's on my doorstep, just like last night. I literally got an order placed on my doorstep last night. That is fucking mompreneuring like a rock star. So let's hear from Shannon.

Speaker 3: 28:19

My name is Shannon Welty. I'm an independent Sensei consultant. For the last five and a half years, I'm a director and I have a team of about 70. Sensei is more than a business to me. It's a way of life that I would not change for the world. I actually first joined Sensei for the love of the product, the discount and maybe a little extra income to travel with my husband, but it wasn't long thereafter that I learned that it was so much more than the waxes and the warmers. It was the friendships that I've made from all over the country and the family that they've become. They've been there to support me through good and bad times. My Sensei family helped me through the passing of my father about a year and a half ago, when I was actually ready to quit Sensei and give up. Because of my Sensei sisters, I've gained knowledge in marketing, but I've also built self-confidence and evolved as a mother, grandmother and a wife.

Speaker 3: 29:06

I am a mother of two beautiful children my son Draven, who's 13 and an eighth grade honor student, and my daughter Ella, age 22, who graduated from beauty school and is the mother of my grandson, aesin, who's two. I'm a wife of 16 and a half years to my husband, jason, who's very supportive. I live with my husband, my son and the occasional toddler grandson, because when your child has a baby at a young age, you gain another child as well. We have three cats crybaby musu yes, after Mulan, not musu pork and frogger, our rescue, who is actually thrown out of a car, from a vehicle in front of us. My husband jumped out of the car to save him and he's been ours ever since. When I first joined Sensei, I was actually a soccer coach for the first two years until COVID hit and then soccer became no more. However, my son remained on a bowling league, which, over time, he got better, so now we have tournaments and fundraising. He also just recently signed up for flag football and practices actually start tomorrow.

Speaker 3: 30:05

Although running my business, working a full-time job, being a devoted mom and a wife, is a lot of work and a lot of stress. Sometimes my husband would say too much work, but the hard work does pay off. Thanks to Sensei, I've been able to go on countless of trips and was able to go on a mommy's sun trip to Disney World. Currently working on earning a trip to Hawaii next year that I hope to bring my daughter to. I've been able to balance all of this.

Speaker 3: 30:29

Run my business thanks to having a vision and being determined. I'm creating a business driven by success. I'm determined to reach my goals and take myself to the top. I couldn't say I've done this all on my own. I've had the support of a mentor throughout the years. Trace has truly helped me build my business and my self-confidence. She's become a friend. I recommend finding that someone to every mother, inspiring to be a mom-pernumer. Seek that person you can build and grow with, who can have that shoulder when you feel like your role is falling apart and still believes in you. Surround yourself with people whom where you want to be in life, with similar mindsets and goals. Again, I'm Shannon Muldy. More than a mom, a wife, a grandma, I am a mom-pernumer, thanks to Sensi.

Speaker 1: 31:14

Oh, that was so good. Now she's probably going to get embarrassed that I said this part. But when Shannon sent me over that audio clip, the very first part of it, she was kind of giggling and she's like, oh my gosh, I have done this like four or five times already because I am not a podcaster. And as soon as she said that, I'm like, but you sound so good, like I don't know, this kind of stuff just gets me fired up. And if you are pumped up too, then let's rock and roll. Because, like I mentioned, this is either going to be the part of that episode where you really become a mom-pernumer, like a rock star groupie, or you're going to turn up your nose like a negative naysayer because you don't agree with what I have to say, but because I love you, I'm going to say it anyway. You, my friend, you are a rock star and rock stars have to make sacrifices. Nothing great comes easy or without some pain, some heartache, probably some hangovers and a whole lot of regret. So when we're talking about becoming a mom-pernumer and being that rock star in life, when I think of an iconic rock star, freddie Mercury from Queen comes top to the mind, and if you don't know who that is. Maybe you're a younger generation listening to this and I completely just dated myself as old. Look it up, google Freddie Mercury from Queen. Because, freddie, he did things a little bit differently. He did things his way, he didn't take no for an answer. And if we're truly talking about being rock stars here, mom-pernuing like a rock star, I think that you need to do something a little different too. Freddie needed stage persona, and so do you.

Speaker 1: 33:06

Many of us are missing this, and here's why Because a lot of you and, trust me, I was guilty of this too but a lot of you are hiding behind your role as a mom. Oh, did you just go? Oh, I'm going to turn this off. I'm not doing that, that's not me, but I'm going to say it, like it or not, because, like I said, I was guilty of it too. Yes, I understand, these are your precious little babies and you want to be there for every second of everything, but how many of you are using mom as your identity? How many of you are using being a mom as the reason that you can't go after all your own goals and your dreams?

Speaker 1: 33:51

I remember growing up, before I even, like, got into network marketing and stuff like that. Or my friends, because I didn't start having kids until I was like 29. So my friends were having kids, you know, early on in life, or because my mom was so young when she had me a lot of her friends and I, when I grew up, I started becoming friends with her friends. But I remember speaking to some of these women that put their goals, their dreams, their careers and everything on the back burner because they had kids. It's like, oh well, when my kids graduate high school, or when my kids move out of house, or when my kids go off to college, then all why are we waiting?

Speaker 1: 34:28

The title of this topic is how to not buy into the lies. So I want you to ask yourself something Is the lie that you're hearing, is it from other people, or is it the lie that you're telling yourself? That told me back, because one lie matters, one doesn't. We are not promised tomorrow and I don't know about you. But I don't wanna be known as just a good mom. I know I'm a good mom. I don't have to follow my kid around 24, seven with a bag full of little snacks to prove that I'm a good mom. I don't have to volunteer in my kids class every single Wednesday to prove that I'm a good mom.

Speaker 1: 35:09

Being a good mom looks different, for everybody else Can't say that I'm feeling like I'm a totally awesome mom these days. I mean, I did just mention I have two teenage daughters, but that's just a whole entire new season that we're going through. But what I'm getting at, though and I can't stress this enough, ladies what I'm getting at is I need you to move your business to the front of the line. Your family. It's always going to be your priority, but it does not have to be the reason that you can't create something for yourself that could totally change your family's life. It won't make you a bad mom, trust me. We know you love your family. I love my family, but in fact, I'm the best version. My kids. They get more from me, they get the better version of me when I'm doing something for myself, when I'm not just sitting around waiting for the next diaper to change or the next feeding to happen or the next pickup at school to come around.

Speaker 1: 36:08

Your kids are going to be just fine, and this was a realization that I had to have myself, and if you listen to episode number two about how I grew up just poverty and welfare and food stamps and just that shame. And there were nights that I probably just had macaroni and cheese for dinner. There were nights I probably didn't even have dinner and I turned out just fine. I turned out just fine. So don't put yourself into that mom guilt circle because your kids aren't getting a five course meal every single day. It's okay if your kids were the same pants two days in a row, they're going to be just fine. So when I say that there's sacrifices that have to be made, this is the real, behind the scenes, raw reality of becoming an entrepreneur All the things that you worry about that you might be taking away from your kids, or how you think they're gonna grow up feeling about you or what you did to them. Trust me, when you decide to commit to yourself and you put yourself first, you will be so surprised how your kids grow up viewing you as a role model and an example of someone who went after it.

Speaker 1: 37:27

My kids are so proud of what I do. I told you I have two teenage girls. My youngest one is 13. And she thinks it is the coolest thing that I know Shaunty. So there are many times when she'll come home from her middle school and she's like I Googled you today. I'm like what? Oh yeah, so and so didn't believe that you knew Shaun, or blah, blah, blah or I don't know. It's just so funny because she comes home like I Googled you today, but she's proud. She's proud of me, and she's proud of the things that I've done. Your kids are going to be just fine. They're gonna learn things in this world that you cannot control. What you can control, though, is that example that you set for them, and someone who wasn't afraid to take the stage.

Speaker 1: 38:11

My family has been my biggest fans, and we all had to make sacrifices for this to work. I'd say the sacrifices are less and less these days as we get into our groove and the kids get a little older, but every once in a while, they're still there. I still have to surrender to the outcome all the time, but I want you to do things differently. I need you to make your business your dream. I need you to have that stage persona, act the part, grab the fucking microphone, wear the crazy hot outfits, be different, do things your way, but, at the end of the day, get on the stage and do the thing Now, in real life. That might mean a lot of times your business is gonna take away something like a family movie night or you might have to miss an open house because you're at a town attending your annual conference.

Speaker 1: 39:08

The balance, it balances out. I've said that a couple of times now and I want you to remember that when you feel like you're in the chaos, take a deep breath and remember the balance will balance out this life. This is your concert. I just said you're a rock star. You're already a rock star. You don't need permission, you don't need an application to apply for the job title. You are already a rock star. You're the performer. Stop playing small, stop being silent. Get up on that stage and show yourself, more than anything, that you can do this. And, lastly, stop over accommodating the things that might not even be important five years from now. Own your power, own your energy.

Speaker 1: 40:00

Okay, we're gonna wrap it up, because Shannon said it perfectly You're more than just a mom and we've come to this episode and I want you to take a peek at the show notes because again there's that link where you can fill out the form and submit your name and business and we'll be able to hear from you and it won't always be audio clips. Once I get a little bit more comfortable doing some of this stuff, we're gonna venture on and start doing some live podcasting together, but you'll find that form in this show notes. I also dropped in there a couple of links for Christie and Shannon, their website and their contact links in case you wanted to connect with them or follow them. And then the two books that I referenced today Push and Chocolate Currywater. I also linked those.

Speaker 1: 40:48

And just in case you're curious about what our next episode is going to be, we're gonna talk a little bit about goals and the power of goals, and we're not just gonna go through like a goal exercise or anything like that. We're really just gonna. We're gonna talk, talk about a lot of stuff, and I know a lot of people are gonna be curious and be like well, what was on your piece of paper? That you wrote down those 10 goals, and I'm gonna share those with you in the next episode. So we're gonna go through the power of goals and how.

Speaker 1: 41:16

I remember I said I felt like they were so unattainable. It's just so amazing to look back and just see how far you've come, but you can't ever look back and see how far you've come if you've never gotten started, and so that's my reminder for you today. I know becoming a mompreneur is really scary and I know there's a lot of guilt that's involved, and I know it feels very selfish to put your business to the forefront, but sometimes that's what's needed in order to make the the world just keep rolling, if that makes sense. So I hope you found some good nuggets in today's episode, and if you did, be sure to subscribe and even share with someone I mean your homework. I'm gonna give you a homework assignment today. Your homework is to go out there and share with one other mom who you feel could find some value in today's episode. Thank you for spending your time here with me today and I'll see you next time.