Doing Divorce Right By Chief PeaceKeeper™ Scott Levin
Scott Levin is a divorce attorney and divorce financial expert who has dedicated his career to helping couples and parents resolve disputes through mediation so they stay out of court and stay in control. Protecting children is at the heart of Scott's work as a mediation divorce specialist. Scott shares tips and advice for couples and parents wanting to learn how to divorce amicably without going to court. As a family law attorney in San Diego, California, Scott has more than two decades of experience and stories and tales to share and an incredible array of unique and interesting guests that join him to share their own ideas and experiences. We discuss the benefits of divorce mediation and the reasons why couples navigating divorce should choose peace and opt for the mediation process as opposed to hiring divorce lawyers and entering the litigation battlefield. Known by colleagues and clients as the Chief PeaceKeeper™, Scott is the founder and managing partner of San Diego Divorce Mediation & Family Law, a firm with hundreds of 5 star reviews from couples who have benefitted from Scott's legal and financial expertise and caring approach over his many years in the field. Learn strategies to tackling divorce and co-parenting disputes through a team approach with Scott Levin.
Doing Divorce Right By Chief PeaceKeeper™ Scott Levin
Turning Divorce into Opportunity: Creating New Holiday Traditions
In this podcast, you will learn how to tell your kids about divorce. It is one of the most difficult discussions you will have in the divorce experience. Preparation is a key to a successful outcome. Watch this video as Divorce Attorney Scott Levin and divorce coach Kelly Myers share some tips that will make breaking the news easier. For help with your divorce, contact San Diego Divorce Mediation & Family Law at www.sandiegofamilylawyer.net, 858-255-1321
As a family law firm focusing on helping couples divorce through mediation, we help relieve the stress of the process and create amicable fair solutions with clients. We pride ourselves on providing new age family law solutions which is why Scott Levin is renowned as The Chief PeaceKeeper™
Thanks for listening and I hope you'll continue to learn more about how you can peacefully divorce.
As a divorce mediation attorney in California, Scott Levin helps couples figure out the settlement terms and draft enforceable settlement agreements so they can divorce fairly without needing to go to court. Obtain closure peacefully through an amicable divorce. process that protects families and kids.
Visit San Diego Divorce Mediation for more information and to learn more about our mission to help divorcing couples make informed decisions and fair agreements through mediation or book a free virtual consultation.
Scott Levin, attorney, mediator, CDFA®
Chief PeaceKeeper
scottlevinmediation@gmail.com
858-255-1321
San Diego Divorce Mediation & Family Law
www.SanDiegoFamilyLawyer.net
Hey everyone, this is Scott Levin, chief Peacekeeper. I'm here today with my good friend, kelly Myers. Hi, kelly, hi. So we are going to talk about holidays and divorce and separation and how to share holidays. It's holiday time, obviously. Kelly. You know people that are already divorced or recently divorced or are going through the process of divorce and separation. You know holidays are a touchy time. They're emotional. People want to celebrate with their kids and their family and, you know, maybe celebrating how they're used to in the past isn't something that they're going to be able to do in the future.
Speaker 2:Right, right. Yeah, holidays are a tough time. I remember when I got divorced, you know, I had to realize I wasn't going to be able to spend all of the holiday time with my kids, as I was used to doing that. And I also remember, you know, really being focused on what I wanted in the holidays. And looking back at you know, with all the things that I've learned over my career, I wish that I had thought more and put myself in the shoes of my kids. What would I have wanted at their age when it came to the holidays? Right, would I have wanted the shuffling back and forth? Right? Would I have wanted to have this kind of forced shared holiday when I, you know, I can feel the tension between my parents. So I think that the biggest piece of advice or thing that I would encourage people to think about when they think about holidays and really anything that comes that is in relation to their kids, is put yourself in their shoes.
Speaker 2:I love that Remember what it felt like to be 10. What would you have wanted, right?
Speaker 1:Can I go back?
Speaker 2:Yes, right. So an example that I use, and I will use Christmas, because Christmas is a holiday that I celebrate, so I knew that.
Speaker 2:So a lot of times people split Christmas day Right, and so, you know, one parent gets Christmas morning, and so there, there, when Santa comes and all the gifts are opened, and then a few hours later the other parent gets the kids. And so I just want you to sit and think for a second. You're a 10 year old, you just got to open up all your gifts from Santa and you just want to sit and play with them. And maybe you're in you know a neighborhood where you've got your friends and you want to play with your friends, and then, suddenly, because your other parent wants to spend that time with you, you got to put it all away and you may not be able to bring that gift with you, because that gift really was a gift to be meant to be in the house, right. And so now you got to put all that away and you got to go to your other parents house. What does that feel like? For some kids that may not be a big deal, but for others it may, and so it's different.
Speaker 1:Every family is different. You got to really evaluate those. A lawyer, or a mediator or a coach? I mean, nobody's going to know your kids like you guys are.
Speaker 2:Exactly exactly, and so what is best for the kids? So I often look at holidays as an opportunity. Holidays are really that special time when we seem to focus on family and we seem to do special things right, and that's why there's memories created and things like that. So I think this is really an opportunity to create additional traditions. So, instead of splitting that day and making your kid go from one house to another, this may be an opportunity where, when it's not your year to have Christmas Day, that you create another tradition that your kids can look forward to. That's during your time, during that holiday time period, right? So because for kids, they don't really care what day things are celebrated or what day they get their gifts. They're just looking forward to that special time. So what can you do to add yet another holiday special tradition to the calendar, cause we all could use more special holiday you know, family time together.
Speaker 1:My middle son just turned 10 on Monday, and I think that we celebrated his birthday for three and a half weeks and then he was on Saturday, so it's still going.
Speaker 2:Exactly right, he's not confiding.
Speaker 1:One thing people do around Thanksgiving that we've done in mediation is say hey, we're gonna do, you can have Thanksgiving and I'll have Black Friday. So you're doing it in two different days, like you said, the kids don't care, but it's something to do. It's still family, it's still exciting, it's still getting all those one feelings that we can remember in our heads about our youth. Yeah, so I agree with you completely.
Speaker 2:And now you can even do another tradition, right. So if you're the parent that doesn't have Thanksgiving that year, maybe what your tradition is on the years you don't have it is you do something special. Wednesday, wednesday maybe, if you like to cook, maybe you introduce that to your children. You big pies and your children can bring one of those pies to their other parents' celebration. Right Now you've done two really cool things because you have done something special that your kids feel like you're acknowledging, that they're going to their other parents. They get to be a part of offering something up and giving things. I mean, there's just all sorts of cool things right Now. If you're not into something like that, maybe you do something else special that always becomes a tradition when you don't have them on Thanksgiving, because sometimes people try to. Well, you know, if I don't have Thanksgiving, I'm going to recreate Thanksgiving the next day, right? Or the day before. Okay, that may be the best thing, but think outside of the box. What other things can you do?
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2:That creates a new tradition and is special.
Speaker 1:And kids. Just you know, kids love traditions, they love family, they want to be Absolutely by love and, like you said, the day of or what that day is. I think, now more than ever, kids are less associated with the actual days of a holiday, just like they're less associated with. Ask a 10 year old what CBS or NBC is. They have no clue, it's just a different world. But they still love that feeling that they get inside when a parent goes out of their way to create a special memory.
Speaker 2:Exactly, and on the holiday when you don't have the kids, on Thanksgiving or Christmas or whatever holidays you celebrate. If you have another tradition, I can assure you your kids are not gonna remember oh, I didn't spend Thanksgiving with you that year. They're gonna remember the day you did spend and what you did. That was special that day.
Speaker 1:So kids will-. Do you recommend that sort of thinking for all the holidays like July 4th, halloween, things like that?
Speaker 2:Absolutely. I think there's more damage in fighting over having the kids are splitting that day and trying to make it equal for the parents than it is trying to look at. Well, what do the kids need Halloween? Well, if you don't have the kids that year, maybe what you do that year is you're the one that helps them with their costume. There could be different things that you again traditions that you could create during that time. Maybe that year you do special pumpkin carving or you decorate for the holiday. Just because your kids aren't there on the actual day doesn't mean that they can't get really involved in decorating the house for Halloween.
Speaker 1:I'm going mad holiday spirit.
Speaker 1:We all need some of that holiday mode, Absolutely absolutely Everything that's happening, whether you're going through separation or learning how to become a single parent or whatever you're going through. The world is a difficult place these days, and pushing into our kids that feeling of warmth that you get from celebration, I think it's just really important. Well beyond, like you said, the legal process of how do you legally divide these days, it's really a focus on let's look inside of our kid, let's view things from his or her perspective and come up with a plan that will suit that kid to the best of our ability.
Speaker 2:Absolutely yeah. I think the biggest takeaway is really remember what it was like to be that age and what would you have wanted.
Speaker 1:Like I said, can I go back? Yeah, I made some mistakes. Well, kelly is a life and separation coach. She has worked with many of my clients that are going through divorce and legal separation processes to help them approach the legal aspect of divorce calmly, rationally, in a thoughtful and knowledgeable way, and she particularly helps clients create really detailed parenting plans that consider that approach of looking inside your kid and understanding what's best from that perspective, and she's been a tremendous help to my clients. So thank you, kelly.
Speaker 2:Thank you, I appreciate that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I and a tremendous help to her clients. No you have been.
Speaker 2:You have an absolute Well, and I'll tell you why because I think that whenever my clients can get into mediation and particularly a mediator like you, scott, who really looks at the whole family unit they're just gonna be better off. There are very few legal issues that need to be decided during divorce. It's really how are you gonna restructure your family? That's really what it is, and the legal stuff is really paperwork and it only becomes legal when you can't agree. So I think both Scott and I, we really put family and the importance of family at the center of what we do and really wanna help families build a strong foundation to move forward in a real positive way.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and those families don't have to involve minor children. I have many cases now where there's adult children and the feelings that are being relayed through those adult children to my clients and then to me are it's a challenging time for them Absolutely, and you wanna go through this process. It's at all possible in a way that protects them and shields them from the conflict? Absolutely, yeah, well, we'll be back again soon, I'm sure, talking more about coaching and divorce and mediation and all those good topics. So happy holidays to everyone.
Speaker 2:Yes, happy holidays Bye.
