Doing Divorce Right By Chief PeaceKeeper™ Scott Levin
Scott Levin is a divorce attorney and divorce financial expert who has dedicated his career to helping couples and parents resolve disputes through mediation so they stay out of court and stay in control. Protecting children is at the heart of Scott's work as a mediation divorce specialist. Scott shares tips and advice for couples and parents wanting to learn how to divorce amicably without going to court. As a family law attorney in San Diego, California, Scott has more than two decades of experience and stories and tales to share and an incredible array of unique and interesting guests that join him to share their own ideas and experiences. We discuss the benefits of divorce mediation and the reasons why couples navigating divorce should choose peace and opt for the mediation process as opposed to hiring divorce lawyers and entering the litigation battlefield. Known by colleagues and clients as the Chief PeaceKeeper™, Scott is the founder and managing partner of San Diego Divorce Mediation & Family Law, a firm with hundreds of 5 star reviews from couples who have benefitted from Scott's legal and financial expertise and caring approach over his many years in the field. Learn strategies to tackling divorce and co-parenting disputes through a team approach with Scott Levin.
Doing Divorce Right By Chief PeaceKeeper™ Scott Levin
Embracing Conscious Uncoupling in Divorce with Coach Dympna McAloon
Can you truly find peace and empowerment amid the chaos of divorce? Discover the transformative power of conscious uncoupling with Dympna McAloon, a coach who turned a personal crisis into a guiding light for others. During this heartfelt conversation, Dympna shares her journey through the emotional labyrinth of separation and the peace she found in Katherine Woodward Thomas’s conscious uncoupling process, famously embraced by Gwyneth Paltrow. Learn how stepping away from the blame game and focusing on personal responsibility can lead to profound growth and healing.
Through a structured five-step roadmap, Dympna explains how individuals can move from pain and chaos to calm and empowerment. This process not only helps settle emotions but also enables individuals to reclaim their power and break free from negative patterns that hinder future relationships. Tune in as we discuss the steps that can transform a painful experience into an opportunity for personal growth and emotional freedom, offering practical advice for handling the challenges of separation with grace and mindfulness.
Thanks for listening and I hope you'll continue to learn more about how you can peacefully divorce.
As a divorce mediation attorney in California, Scott Levin helps couples figure out the settlement terms and draft enforceable settlement agreements so they can divorce fairly without needing to go to court. Obtain closure peacefully through an amicable divorce. process that protects families and kids.
Visit San Diego Divorce Mediation for more information and to learn more about our mission to help divorcing couples make informed decisions and fair agreements through mediation or book a free virtual consultation.
Scott Levin, attorney, mediator, CDFA®
Chief PeaceKeeper
scottlevinmediation@gmail.com
858-255-1321
San Diego Divorce Mediation & Family Law
www.SanDiegoFamilyLawyer.net
Hi everyone, this is Scott Levin, chief Peacekeeper, and I'm here today with Dipna Makkolin. Hi, dipna.
Speaker 2:Hi Scott, thanks for taking this time to speak to me.
Speaker 1:I know, when we talk, I don't ever say your name. Am I saying it?
Speaker 2:okay, it's perfect, it's perfect.
Speaker 1:I don't want to be offensive. It's perfect, that's perfect. I don't want to be offensive, um. So, uh, dipna and I know each other from the the I'm. I'm a divorce lawyer and mediator. Uh, dipna is a coach that works with people, uh, through conscious up uncoupling um, and it's actually a formal process. Conscious of uncoupling um, obviously, uh, it was made I don't know if it was made famous. Tell, when did you become, when did you start working as an unconscious uncoupling coach?
Speaker 2:okay. Well, when I came across, this is katherine woodwork thomas. That is a new york time bestseller and family therapist and psychotherapist that created this process and it became well-known by Gwyneth Paltrow and Steve Martin, in fact, that she coached through their divorce, and so she did.
Speaker 1:I mean, that's when I think most people became familiar with it and I think that some people think she coined the, the phrase, but obviously she was taking those coaching courses?
Speaker 2:yes, yes, absolutely. But that's the beauty of of Gwyneth Paltrow she can bring it out into into the world for everybody yeah, and so is is.
Speaker 1:Were you involved in the, in the in, in that um, in that practice, before that happened or after? Tell us how you tell us about it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I came across this actually during the pandemic and I did the course myself on Mindvalley and then when I did it, I just found it such a personal experience, such, and that it brought me so much peace and calmness and liberty and at the end of it that I thought, well, this is such powerful piece of work that I really want to become a coach in this and bring it to other people, be able to help people find their way through this what can be an extremely difficult emotional time.
Speaker 1:So that's my story with it and I know when we've spoken in the past, one of the things I really not enjoyed, I guess, but I like remember from our conversations, is that you know you've mentioned to me that like part of this is to come to the reckoning or realization that you know, playing the blame game isn't necessarily a productive path and it's oftentimes something I hear it's her fault, it's his fault, it's their fault, whatever you're calling it. But when we spoke last, I remember you saying that, like you know, one of the outcomes of this is to get you know, kind of put those sort of feelings aside and kind of focus more on the on really what's going on.
Speaker 2:Talk to us about that yeah, absolutely conscious, and coupling is really about avoiding shame and blame, because there is no growth in that. We can't go forward from that perspective. So it's accepting that we we're two of us in the relationship and that we each have our responsibility in it. And when we look at our responsibility from a place of of different understanding, that's where the key is to be able to find solutions. Because when we're in blame and shame, we're not hearing anything. We're not. Then we're completely closed to any possible pathway of going to the future and finding solutions.
Speaker 1:So talk to us about. It's a five step. I think there's a couple variations, right, but what? The core or the main plan, or I don't know what you would call it is it a five-step process?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a five-step process. It's actually. It's a roadmap to take us, a very well thought out roadmap to take the person from a place of chaos and pain and, yeah, extreme pain to getting to a place of finding calmness. We start being able to settle the emotions and get the freedom from the emotions and then to practice to reclaim our power and our life and become to break the patterns that we've established in the relationship, and those are patterns of where we're centered on ourselves. Where we're centered on ourselves, then we're. That's how we react with life and with others. So that's how we create the situation and that's really where the key is to being able to change things.
Speaker 2:And then sorry, please go ahead and then that we we move on to being able to create a happy even after life yeah, that's actually what I was going to ask you is that is this a uh?
Speaker 1:do you find that this helps people you know that aren't necessarily looking for another relationship right away, or so they're happy living life without another for a time period and or does it impact, like their next relationships, in some way?
Speaker 2:and impact, like their next relationships in some way. It's really important that um that people at first find that peace with themselves and learn to love themselves first, because if we haven't gone through that process we can repeat the same patterns. Because we see that now first marriages, 50% of them end in divorce. A second marriage is 63 and a third marriage is 74. So it shows, if we haven't taken that time to understand, to heal and to be more aware, we could repeat the same patterns. And it can be a wise thing for a person to spend some time really finding themselves first and be very sure about the type of relationship that they want to create after.
Speaker 1:So is it a combination, or is it more about where someone is in the present? Are we looking backwards, are we looking forwards, or is it a combination of all those things?
Speaker 2:It really is a combination of those things With Conscious Encoupling. It's very much about looking to what we've created, to learn from that, not to wallow in it, not to remain a victim in that situation, to learn the lessons from it and then move forward. We work very much with intentions of the life that we want to create, even the type of relationship that we want with our former partner, especially if there are children involved that we have to continue co-parenting. So it's a combination of both. It's really harvesting the good of the relationship, that because we've all had good parts in the relationship, even if it's been difficult, and it's been difficult at the end, but it's taking the best from the situation and even if it's just learning the life lessons, that we pay that forward. But it's very much into creating a new, happier life it's more.
Speaker 1:The process is a bit like kind of you kind of have to be a little bit of a self-starter is that correct? Or do you, because you have to do the work outside of the talks with you, is that? Is that correct or am I wrong?
Speaker 2:well, there is the part of it where you work with the, the book, catherine's book, which I have here in fact.
Speaker 2:And we use that as a basis that the client will come work through the book, prepare each chapter, that it's a time for reflection and introspection. So there is that aspect of this is a serious business. You want to get this done, you want to do this right, and Catherine has spent a lot of time on this and there's a lot of wisdom in the book. It gives you time for reflection and then in the sessions with me, we dive deeper into that and explore it. I help pull it out a little. It's like matatare that we start to undo the matatare.
Speaker 1:So this does. It's something that what you just said was really interesting to me. You think it has a very positive impact on the co-parenting relationship.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, absolutely, because this is keeping in mind and that is really using that as northern star, that and that helps people keep. Keep away from blaming each other, because there's something more. This is the future of our children that is at stake. Their happiness is at stake, and when we people can realize that that is really important and we calm everything, then they can they can start to negotiate and communicate more freely, with the love of their children as the most important thing yeah also the incentive in that is to give an example to children, to make them feel secure and happy and loved.
Speaker 2:And we want to leave an example that even if a relationship doesn't continue, it doesn't mean it was a failure, it doesn't mean that was their fault and there's a way through it I mean I love everything you're saying, because I I'm not really I'm, as I'm, focused on kind of the legal process and getting that behind people, because I look you can't start feeling more like yourself, or or you know living your best, until you get the legal process behind you.
Speaker 1:I think it's so important that people really I would reach out to Dipna learn more about the conscious uncoupling process that she offers. She does it virtually and works all over the world right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's correct. I'm based in France, but I can do this. I love meeting people from different countries.
Speaker 1:You sound very French, so that's great. We're going to keep this video just kind of introduction. I'm going to put all of your information. Do you want to list out your website real quick so people can hear it?
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's Dimpna Makalung. No, yeah, it's uh dimna macalung. Um no, it's not, I've got it, it's gone. It is dimna macalung, coachingcom.
Speaker 1:I was like no, I think you're missing something. I like my browser over.
Speaker 2:I'm like.
Speaker 1:I think there's one more. Yes, there we go. Yes, well, we're going to keep this kind of just an introduction.
Speaker 1:Learn more about what Dibna does. I really encourage you. You got to feel better. You got to. You know we can all feel more like our true selves, living our best lives. This is something that can help you do that more like our true selves living our best lives. This is something that can help you do that, and it's something that a lawyer shouldn't have anything to do with, so you really need to get a professional um and reach out to her. Okay, guys, it's a pleasure having you it's a pleasure speaking to you.
Speaker 2:Thank you very much.
