Every parent knows the heat of frustration when your child's antics push your buttons, and every night can feel like a siege of wills when bedtime rolls around. Have you ever wondered how to channel your anger into something constructive, or how to outmaneuver the bedtime stalling tactics of your little one? In our latest episode, we tackle these universal parenting struggles. I'll walk you through the delicate dance of managing your anger in response to your children's aggressive behaviors, sharing personal insights on when it's appropriate to show controlled anger and how to turn those moments into positive lessons. Then, we'll strategize on creating that elusive, effective bedtime routine that respects both your child's needs and your own need for peace at the end of the day.
But it's not all about the challenges; there's also a heartwarming tale waiting for you. I share a beautiful interaction with Mr. L, a child on the autism spectrum, whose growth and ability to use calming strategies he's learned from us are nothing short of inspiring. His story is a bright reminder of the potential every child has to surprise us and positively impact our lives. Listen as we explore these topics and remember, we're here to share, learn, and grow together in this parenting journey. So grab your headphones, and let's get into it!
Every parent knows the heat of frustration when your child's antics push your buttons, and every night can feel like a siege of wills when bedtime rolls around. Have you ever wondered how to channel your anger into something constructive, or how to outmaneuver the bedtime stalling tactics of your little one? In our latest episode, we tackle these universal parenting struggles. I'll walk you through the delicate dance of managing your anger in response to your children's aggressive behaviors, sharing personal insights on when it's appropriate to show controlled anger and how to turn those moments into positive lessons. Then, we'll strategize on creating that elusive, effective bedtime routine that respects both your child's needs and your own need for peace at the end of the day.
But it's not all about the challenges; there's also a heartwarming tale waiting for you. I share a beautiful interaction with Mr. L, a child on the autism spectrum, whose growth and ability to use calming strategies he's learned from us are nothing short of inspiring. His story is a bright reminder of the potential every child has to surprise us and positively impact our lives. Listen as we explore these topics and remember, we're here to share, learn, and grow together in this parenting journey. So grab your headphones, and let's get into it!
Good morning everyone. I hope you're having a good day today. Today is Saturday. Today we're going to talk about a couple different things, and one of them is going to be anger and the other one is bedtime. I know that dreaded bedtime to try to get them to bed. But before I do that I want to make a recommendation. I know many of you probably heard of Helen Keller and Ann Sullivan. I recommend seeing that movie. There's the newer one called the Miracle Worker, and I think it's a good movie for people to see that have kids that are on the spectrum or having some behavior problems. I've had other parents watch that movie and have learned from it, so I recommend that one Also.
Debbie:
I am a person of task box T-A-S-K box and if you can get on Teachers, pay teachers or some other websites, they will have a lot of them for you to do and it's so much easier. Make those tax box it's a lot of work at first but it's a lot easier after that and then just go get a task box especially if you're homeschool and say, okay, you're going to do this task box, that task box and this one today, those three they should have three a day, especially younger kids and you can do more for older kids too, and I will give some suggestions on task box at another one that I will do later today and I will make a note of that also. So let's now talk about anger. We're gonna talk about anger with you first. If your child comes home and he has a bruise on his arm or something and he says a kid hit him, should you get angry and show it? No, don't, because if you get angry and show it, then it's gonna make him or her more angry. Yes, deal with it and talk to the teacher and do what you need to do absolutely to try to solve the problem. It could be, you know, your child hit first and who knows what happened. But whatever the situation is, just you know, say, okay, we're gonna handle it, we're gonna go talk to the teacher, maybe talk to the child and try to get that situated.
Debbie:
Now, what if your child has broken something of yours or disobeyed you? Should you show anger? Yes, you should. You should show anger that. Hey, you know I'm not set with this. You broke something on mine, you broke a rule, you didn't listen to what the direction, something like that. It's okay to get upset. That's the kind of anger that they can see in a positive way, not to the point. You know that. Sorry about my camp meowing. She wants to help I guess today she has a doctor's appointment soon but anyway, let's get back. So, anyway, those are okay kind of anger to show, but you have to, even though you're upset that they got hurt or whatever happened, it's still. You have to kind of control that in front of them so they it doesn't escalate for them when they go back to school the next day and they're like okay, my mom's angry, I can be angry, no, we don't want to do that or my dad, whoever it was. Okay.
Debbie:
Now I want to talk a little bit about bedtime, getting that time for bed and you have set a bedtime and they want to drink a water, they need to go to the bathroom, can they watch one more movie, tell another story, can I have a snack? All those things to delay, delay, delay the bedtime. So what can we do about that? How can we change that situation? They're not tired, they're not ready for bed, but that's okay. Just say you know, this is our bedtime, this is time that I have to have for myself and I need to have so much sleep. So let's think of a way that we can set up their bedroom for them to feel like, okay, it's my time for bed, I'm going to lay here and maybe read. Or you can let them listen to some music, but very low so you can't hear it, or you could, um, they can do those two things, but they can't have like go play with toys. But if they want to sleep on the floor or sleep under their bed, that's OK, I make a tent in their bed, on their bed, those kind of things you can do.
Debbie:
And maybe give them a little flashlight, just soft kind of entertainment type stuff, and before they are ready to go to bed, like I say, if their bedtime is eight, thirty, well, by seven, each be not doing activities like out there, playing running and playing, playing basketball or whatever they're doing. And then all of a sudden, ok, take a shower, let's get a snack and then go to bed. It's, they're not going to be tired, they're going to still be revved up. So you want to plan stuff that is quiet, that they can relax, maybe watch a TV show, maybe read a story, play games, just stuff that relax them, and try to limit their blue light, like on their phones or iPads or even TV. You want to limit that a little bit, because that does keep people awake. I know some people fall asleep with the TV and but with a child maybe you should limit it some of that at that time.
Debbie:
So you know, set a time for yourself to have an hour or so before bedtime that's just quiet time for you or in the morning, and that they have to stay in bed during this time and that time. Now you're going to have to do some type of a, maybe a clock. Ok, from this time to this time you're going to stay in your room and sleep, nothing. You have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Sure, absolutely, you know, no problem with that, but that will help you to get some sleep and some rest, even if they don't need the eight hours you probably do. So that's very important. To have those kind of activities so that they can relax and maybe lower the lights in the house is another. Another technique you can have soft music, just kind of doing some maybe some deep breathing exercises just to help them wind down. Take a nice hot shower and and then do something to wind down from the day. We all need that. It's hard for any of us to sleep and rest if we don't don't do that, unless you're just exhausted and you just fall into bed, which we all have done, I know.
Debbie:
Ok, so I'm going to end this today with a little story and this young boy. He was young boy, he's not so young anymore, but I still see him. But anyway, I was teaching a class and it was library time and during library the kids were all over the place and I was trying to get them in line and my pair wasn't there. And it was just one of those days that you think I should have stayed home in bed. And then this boy, autistic, decided to go to the bathroom. And he takes forever in the bathroom. It's like an event for him. So I said come on, come on, you got to go.
Debbie:
And I finally got him out of the bathroom and I was frustrated and he stood in front of me and wouldn't let me pass and I kept saying I'll just call him Mr L. Mr L, move, move, move away. So I got to go with it and he just kept going to dodging in front of me and dodging in front of me until I finally stopped and he put his hands on my shoulder and looked at me and smiled like calm down, lady, it's going to be all right. I was like, and then I'm going to do his laugh like, oh, you're right. So I took a deep breath. He was using strategies that we taught him to try to get me to calm down and just say it's okay, we're going to be all right. And then we were got everybody together, checked out our books and left. But he saw the frustration of me and how I wasn't reacting like I should have. I should have and took a moment to calm me down. And he's on the spectrum too. So, um, he did. He did a good job, I was proud of him.
Debbie:
And that's all for today and I hope to talk to you soon. Uh, one more thing before I go. I do, I want to give my email. If you want to drop me a line, give me suggestions, would like me to do some research on something I'd be happy to, and it is G. Deborah D E B R A zero five five at gmailcom. Again as G, as in God. Deborah DE B R A zero five five at gmailcom. Thank you.