Have you ever wondered how the way you parent echoes in your child's development? Embark on a journey through the parenting landscape with us, as we dissect the nuanced influences of various parental archetypes. From the vigilant eyes of the helicopter parent to the strict command of the drill sergeant, we delve into how these approaches can affect a child's confidence and accountability. We don't shy away from the contentious nature of the advocate parent equipped for IEP meetings, nor the relentless shopper parent whose good intentions may lead them astray, as they navigate the tumultuous sea of choices for their child's well-being. Along the way, we share true stories that bring to light the delicate dance between nurturing and enabling that every caregiver must learn.
As we transition to our second act, let's talk practicality. You'll gain insights into strategies that actually work when it comes to raising self-reliant kids who keep their rooms tidy – without resorting to punitive measures. Discover the power of leading by example with simple, actionable steps that encourage children to embrace responsibility, and learn how to let the natural consequences of life teach its own valuable lessons. Whether you're the parent of a toddler or a teenager, this episode promises a treasure trove of wisdom to enrich your family life. So, if you're looking to bolster your parenting toolkit with empathy and intention, tune in and become part of the conversation – we're all in this together.
Have you ever wondered how the way you parent echoes in your child's development? Embark on a journey through the parenting landscape with us, as we dissect the nuanced influences of various parental archetypes. From the vigilant eyes of the helicopter parent to the strict command of the drill sergeant, we delve into how these approaches can affect a child's confidence and accountability. We don't shy away from the contentious nature of the advocate parent equipped for IEP meetings, nor the relentless shopper parent whose good intentions may lead them astray, as they navigate the tumultuous sea of choices for their child's well-being. Along the way, we share true stories that bring to light the delicate dance between nurturing and enabling that every caregiver must learn.
As we transition to our second act, let's talk practicality. You'll gain insights into strategies that actually work when it comes to raising self-reliant kids who keep their rooms tidy – without resorting to punitive measures. Discover the power of leading by example with simple, actionable steps that encourage children to embrace responsibility, and learn how to let the natural consequences of life teach its own valuable lessons. Whether you're the parent of a toddler or a teenager, this episode promises a treasure trove of wisdom to enrich your family life. So, if you're looking to bolster your parenting toolkit with empathy and intention, tune in and become part of the conversation – we're all in this together.
Okay, today we're going to talk about different types of parents, and if you're a parent listening to this, you may recognize some of the different types of parents. You may see yourself in some, and there's pros and cons to every type. I'm going to talk about six different ones today, and the first one is called the helicopter parent. This parent tends to want to hoover over their child. They want to rescue them from every situation. It's never their child's fault, it's somebody else's fault. What happens with this is that the children tend to have low self-esteem because they feel like they're not capable of doing something and the parent has to keep rescuing them and helping them along the way. They make excuses for their child but complain about misbehavior and responsibilities. They want to protect their child from every aspect out there. They provide messages of weakness and low worth for their child. The second one that I want to talk about is kind of closely related to a helicopter, and that's what I call the advocate. The advocate parent wants to feel like they have to fight for everything, and sometimes they do have to fight for everything, but it's kind of getting the feeling of maybe it's the school against you and it's not really. When you're in the IP meetings, you're there as a team and working for the best results, and I know that at times it may not feel that way, that we're all together working in a group, but we really are Now, even though that they feel like they got a fight for everything. There's also a good aspect of an advocate, and that is they know the rights and they learn what they can and cannot do. In an IEP meeting, you can really if you're a new teacher, you can really learn from an advocate. I did, and they were always on my side. If I needed something, they were there to help me to get what I need for the classroom. So there can be good things and bad things about it. Sometimes, though, the advocate wants something that may not be right for your child, and everybody sees that, especially when it comes to the one-to-one. Everybody wants a one-to-one for their child, which I can understand, but sometimes those one-to-ones are not what the child needs, and I've had bad situations and good situations with an advocate and wanting a personal para for their child, and that can. Sometimes they do need it, and sometimes they just don't. It kind of hinders them from exploring more on their own, so you have to kind of figure that out a little bit. And another aspect would be to look at is if that teacher has 19 kids and only one para, it's going to be difficult to get the needs of each of those childs met on a daily basis. So sometimes another person in the room is what's required. It doesn't have to be a one-to-one, but it can just be somebody another body in the room to help with the teacher.
Speaker 1:
So the second or third one I want to talk about is what I call, like I don't want to say drill sergeant, but somebody that is always demanding, always wanting from the child. I've had kids that I've said and you ready to go home? And they've said, no, they don't want to go home. And I even had one boy that used to cry when I, if he got picked up early, I take him to the office and they would say why is he crying? I said because he's leaving. And it wasn't that the parents were mean or anything, but they're just very demanding Okay, you come home, you're going to do this, you're going to do that.
Speaker 1:
And the hard thing for the teachers let's say they're working on something and they're doing their work and they're working two hours after they get home and then they eat and go to bed and they do the whole cycle again and the kids are kind of getting burned out. And then they take a test and they bombed it and then. So they want to blame the teacher. Why did he we studied for this, why did he not get an A? And so that can kind of make it difficult and the demanding of the can stress out a child it's. You don't want to be too demanding. The homework should do shouldn't be more than 30 minutes for younger kids and maybe an hour for older kids at the most.
Speaker 1:
Okay, then the other parent is what I call the shopper. Now, there's different kinds of shoppers, but this parent shops around for answers to solve problems of the situation. It's either to get the answer that they want and it's usually maybe to cure something, or to change something about their child, or they shop it around to to kind of look at something different, that they're going to get, a cure that's different than what the school has to provide. So there's different ways to shop around. The one that I most is concerned about is trying to get to an answer that is not there and or is not right for your kid.
Speaker 1:
And I'm going to give you an example, true story. And there was this mother and she came from a different country and she wanted a cochlear for her child. He was deaf. And she went to several different doctors in the United States and they all told her no, that his head and wasn't formed enough to do that. And so she took him to another country and got it done and came back to the US and that poor, poor child had so many issues. It did not fit him right. It had, he had infections. His poor little head was not shaped right, it was. It was a mess, a total mess. And then then, on top of that, the doctors here didn't want to touch you because she had it done in another country. She finally did find a doctor and but it was never made right because it was something that shouldn't have been done. But she had it in her mind that this is what's going to be done and she went ahead and did it a different way. So those are one kind of shoppers.
Speaker 1:
And I had another situation also where the mother wanted a different answer on the degree of deafness. She wanted her daughter to be more deaf than what she was, and so she shopped around. Well, this child always had to be put under, so she, every time she went, she had to put that child under in order to find the doctor that finally gave her the diagnosis she want. So those are some things that can be dangerous for the child. It's not healthy and it's to me it's not necessary. If you have a good doctor and I don't mean not get a second opinion and stuff but don't keep shopping around, going even to different states of different countries to get an answer that may not be beneficial to your child. Okay. So the next one is I'm going to call it being done or can't handle, and let me explain that a little bit.
Speaker 1:
Some parents have where they are just done with the school system they have. They fought and fought and didn't get what they want or what the child needed. Or maybe the child's not getting what he needs in the classroom and may not be the teacher's fault, she may just be on overload or he's they're not providing his needs. So she decides to homeschool and that's okay, that's all right. If your child's not being mad, then, yes, I agree, homeschool.
Speaker 1:
But the one that I'm concerned about is ones that don't care, and I've had that where they don't care, they don't want to show up for IEPs. You just said, send it home or do it over the phone. And sometimes we do have to do it over phone, but some, a lot of them, don't even want to show up and you can sign a paper saying proceed without them. And I've been in many, many of them, more than I care to to talk about. And these parents just don't care whatever and move on. They may take care of the child, but they don't care what's happening at the school, they don't care what services are being provided and what ones are not.
Speaker 1:
Then there's the parent that don't care about the child. They come to school hungry, dirty parents, don't care what program they're in or even maybe know who their teacher is, and that, to me, is very, very sad. So the last one that I wanna talk about is what I call the demonstrator parent, and this parent provides guidance and teaches their child self-care. They model, they use less words and do more of modeling what they want. They provide messages of personal and worth and strength. A seldom mention responsibility, but they demonstrate responsibility, they share their feelings and they provide an alternative way to have the child solve a problem and they let their child have natural consequences If you don't study for this test, you're probably going to fail it. So those are the type this parent is also supportive, connects with the teacher, helps support the classroom, might even be the parent classroom helper in the room, and those are the best kind. They still will fight for what the child and the teacher needs and help support them, but they do it in a good way, in a positive way, not in an angry. Hire me lawyers and all this, and don't get me wrong. Sometimes that is necessary and is needed, and I've been in those situations where they are needed.
Speaker 1:
But if you can be modeling what you want from your child, what kind of a person do you want your child to grow up to be? Not the demanding one, not the one that wants to solve all your problems, all the child's problems. You need to be the one that's just model. Show them what it's like to do things. It's just like when we're teaching a new concept. The first thing we need to do is model it. Show how we do it, where we get it. We can't just ask him okay, solve this problem when they've never seen it done.
Speaker 1:
It's like you may say to your child clean your room or else you're going to be punished in some way, instead of maybe going in and helping them clean the room. And if they can't visualize that, a good technique would be to take pictures and say and hang them up and say okay, this is what this area needs to look like and this area needs to look like you modeled it. You show them, they get the pictures, you allow your child to experience life naturally and you use many actions and few words to help your child. So that's what I'm talking about today and I hope that you have enjoyed today. And I did put a few more stories inside, embedded into the lessons here. If you find yourself being one of those parents, maybe you'd make some changes. Look at the picture, think of your child. If you have any comments and you'd like to send them to me, you can send them to my email at gdebradbra055 at gmailcom. Thank you and have a blessed day.