Talk Autism by Debbie
Let's talk about Autism. The ups and downs for guiding an individual that is on the spectrum. Let's not forget about the parents and other children during out talks.
Talk Autism by Debbie
Creating Harmony at Home: Transformative Strategies for Supporting Children on the Spectrum
Hi everyone, I really missed you. I know I've been gone for a couple months here Holidays very busy, back to work and I got sick with that virus. There's a couple viruses going around and I ended up getting both of them, so I was sick most of my holiday time off from work. But I'm back to work and I'm going to do the next three Mondays we're going to talk about behaviors.
Speaker 1:I've been seeing a lot on Facebook with some of the parents' groups that there's a lot of issues going around, especially people that are homeschooling and having some difficulties with their kids, getting them to do what they need them to do, and a lot of times it's because you know to them school is school and home is home, and then now mixing the both can kind of be a little difficult for them, as it is for you as well. So we know that life can be kind of messy. There's really nothing you can do to deal with that. To deal with our kids is hard enough, but dealing with kids on the spectrum can be even messier. So what can we do to change it? The one thing that you can do to change it is to accept it and to keep moving forward, and by accepting it, you give yourself some peace too. This is the life. Some days are great, some days are not great, and it's that way with everybody. It doesn't matter, and remember you're not alone. There are thousands of you out there, and so just connect with other people and get some advice. I know the one on the Facebook that I belong to. When a parent is asking about their child, that's on the spectrum. There's a lot of people that give great advice, and those are your resources. Whatever you've been through, they've been through too, and maybe more than once. So what we're going to do today is we're going to talk about the behaviors, and why do we have the behaviors, what are the reasons for that and what can we do to help eliminate those behaviors that we're seeing in our kids? Basically, it's why behaviors happen the before and the after.
Speaker 1:Sometimes you don't know why. You just don't understand. Why is this happening? Why is this happening right now? Everything was okay one second. The next second, they are getting upset. It could be post-trauma, it could be lack of sleep, it could be medication, they could be feeling sick, but don't know how to tell you. I had a case where a little girl just kept pointing to her stomach and her bottom, and I knew she was sick but she couldn't tell me exactly what she was feeling because she was nonverbal and it's on the spectrum, but also with Down syndrome. But I figured it out and called mom and everything worked out okay. She did have a tummy ache, so we need to find the patterns. Worked out okay, she did have a tummy ache, so we need to find the patterns.
Speaker 1:So like, for example, if I say if you tell your child, go get your coat, and that child throws himself on the floor and has a crying and a fit for two minutes and then you go get the coat, guess what's going to happen the next time you're going to go get the coat? So if you don't wait for them to just move through what they're feeling at that moment, you know, just sit down and wait, look at them and just say give them a minute or two and say are you done, can you go get your coat now? That would be one way to solve that situation. But if you're going to be the one to go get the coat every time, then I wouldn't bother to ask, I would just go get the coat. Same way in the classroom If a child raises their hand and then the teacher calls on them and they answer the question, that child is going to raise their hand every time. But if people just shout out all the time, then the teacher ignores that and then that way you don't have everybody shouting at you all at once.
Speaker 1:So there are the reasons why. Here's what. There's, four of them. One is attention. They want that type of attention, even the nose, and don't do that or stop. Those negatives are also give them attention. So if they're laying on the floor when you say go get your coat, and you're giving them the attention like come on, you know, stop doing that, go get your coat, we're running late, blah, blah, blah, they're going to keep doing it. But if you just ignore it and just tell yourself, you know, give yourself that extra time, then they're going to stop doing it.
Speaker 1:The other thing is access. Maybe there's something they want and you told them no, or not right now, or wait which I think sometimes we need to, even if they don't need to wait that we set a timer and say you got to wait one minute. I think that's very good practice to do from time to time. You don't have to do it every time, but from time to time say just wait one minute, you can have it, have it and everything instant, and they need to learn that sometimes they just have to wait. So if you could start working on that and build that into them, then that would help. Even if you did like, let's say, you did a task on reading and after they were done reading they get a reward and then just set a timer and say after the one minute you could have it, just so they have that experience and they can build that into their system. Sometimes you just have to wait. None of us like to.
Speaker 1:The third reason is they're just trying to escape, and this is not so much trying to elope or out of the classroom or out of the house, but they just want to escape. They want to get away from it. They need a calm down area, a place where they can just go and just decompress for a little bit, and that's the kind of escape that I'm talking about with this. The fourth one is sensory. So maybe they're not feeling good, or they need help with self-regulating, or they don't need something from the teacher right now. They don't want to hear your voice. They don't want to hear you talk. So sometimes it's the sounds, it can be the smells, all those things. He might be overheated or it might be too cold, those things that you have to kind of look at. That could be the fourth reason that they are having a meltdown.
Speaker 1:Once you have identified the reasons of the behavior, then move on to some learning strategies. So you have to think of strategies for each one of them, and so the four that I said was attention, access to something, escape and sensories. So those are the things that those four things that you have to kind of identify, and after a while you kind of get the feeling kind of know what's going to happen with the kids. Sometimes, if they're throwing themselves on the floor because you said go get your coat, it may be a transition. Even if it's a positive transition, it could be a transition that they don't want to do. So those could be one of the reasons, and so that's kind of he's trying to escape from that situation.
Speaker 1:So if it's attention that you've said, okay, I know this kid is just wanting my attention, I've paid too much attention to something or someone else. So you need to prime them, give them advance notice, say okay, you got. Let's say they're on their iPad and you say, okay, I got, you got five more minutes. Or if they're watching TV, five more minutes and it'll be dinner time, or five more minutes we get ready for bed. So give them some some advance notice and then redirect. You want them to come to dinner for, but can you can help them by redirecting them. So let's say you give them now your five minute warning, you give them a two minute warning now let's redirect them. Hey, you know, we're gonna have this, your favorite, for dinner tonight. So let's come on, let's turn off the tv. That's kind of like a redirection. Or let's take a bath. We got that new bubble bath. You're gonna get to play with that. Or a toy or something in the tub.
Speaker 1:So if they're younger or somehow whatever they are kind of a reward type thing to get them to get that attention that they need. Give them the attention they need. It also could be just listening to them If they're able to talk or sign or whatever however they're communicating, to listen to them at that time, because they're seeking some kind of attention. Access Pick three rewards for their success. So if they did their homework, then they get that reward that they want. They want access to their iPad for 30 minutes. Then they have to finish this task or that task, or it could be chores around the house, go make your bed, pick up your toys and we're going to talk about that in a minute here. So those are access to stuff. So they want to get something. You want to be able to have them get a reward for doing what you need them to do. Or sometimes access to something could be okay. You know, at six o'clock you have 30 minutes, so 630. It doesn't even have to be that they did something to get something, that they just have that set time and they're allowed to have that item, whatever it is that they want.
Speaker 1:Oh, escape, give verbal instructions and wait five minutes. If they come right away, reinforce that. If they don't come right away, start gesturing. It's like come on, we got to. You know, model what you want them to do. We're going to go this way or we're going to do this. If they come again, you know, if they do it after you modeled and stuff, do a reinforcement for them. If not, you need to physically help them along. That don't mean, you know, grab them by the neck and drag them there, but just kind of, you know, push them in their back or you know, put your hand on their back or kind of help them along, take their hand and let's walk and things like that. So they may need some redirections or a physical guide type thing.
Speaker 1:Okay, and then let's say they, you want them to pick up everything in the room. You go into the room and it's a mess, everything, all their toys are out and everything. You say, instead of saying clean up this mess or clean up your room, and they're going to be overwhelmed and they're going to want to escape that. So instead of doing that, say, hey, where do your books go? Let's put the book up here. Or have them pick up their toy trucks and put them in there. Do a few items or even, if you have to, an item at a time and encourage them and after a while it'll be, you know, routine for them. But they just may not understand too. Sometimes kids don't understand what clean up the room really means and you go in there and you think what did they do? And it's, nothing is what it should be. So just kind of help guide them.
Speaker 1:Another thing is and I've said this before to teach kids to pick up their room is go in there and help them the first one or two times and then take pictures and put those pictures up. This is what I want your desk to look like. This is what I want your bed to look like. This is what I want your floor to look like. This is what I want your floor to look like. So they have some comparisons, some visuals to be able to compare what it is that you're asking for in their room. So that was number three, and number four is the sensory. Basically, like I said before, you have to figure out what it is.
Speaker 1:If it's a sensory thing, it could be that they're too tired, too hot, too cold, they're not feeling well, they have a headache. They may not understand exactly what they're hearing. They may need visuals to understand what is being said, even though it could be something simple. Maybe you're saying it really fast and they just didn't get it. It didn't register to them and you think that they're ignoring you. Well, maybe they just don't understand and so they're, in a way, eloping from the situation. They want to get away from it.
Speaker 1:So what you do is you know first if they're doing something that they shouldn't be doing. That's unsafe. You want to block that at all times. And then you want to first identify what's going on. If they feel too hot or warm or they're not feeling well, try to figure out if any of those things are happening and try to correct the problem and then model what you want them to do.
Speaker 1:If you want them to ask you a question or say something, teach them how to ask you a question and move on from that, and then, by doing that, you can model like turn your head away and tap on your shoulder and then, when they tap on your shoulder, reply. So that's one way that you can teach them to ask you for things if they don't understand something. So, anyway, those are the four things that I have for today, and I hope you guys are having a great New Year's. 2025 already. Can't believe it. Time goes so fast, especially as you get older. It does so. Anyway, I hope that this helped a little bit with somebody, maybe gave you some insight and I hope you have a blessed day. Thank you, bye-bye.
