Talk Autism by Debbie
Let's talk about Autism. The ups and downs for guiding an individual that is on the spectrum. Let's not forget about the parents and other children during out talks.
Talk Autism by Debbie
Effective Techniques for Fostering Growth in Children
Hi everyone. I hope you're having a blessed day. Today I am. It's been a little chilly here in Florida and it's like, okay, the joke's over Florida, let's get back to normal. But it's been cold and I guess that's why so many people keep getting colds and bronchitis. I've been, I had it four times and enough's enough. So let's get back to normal. If I wanted cold, I'd go back up north and live, anyway. So what we're going to do is I'm going to talk about different situations and different ways that maybe you can handle and things that we use and why do we use them, kind of thing.
Speaker 1:It's going to be a short one, probably maybe less than 10 minutes, but I've got three different things that I'll talk about. The first one is in schools. We use this a lot, and you can use this at home too where you have a board and they say first do this, then that, and so you have like a picture of them working and then them doing something they want or something they want to have. So we use that to build the motivation to get them to be able to do a non-preferred task. So you're going to work on this for 10-15 minutes and then we're going to work on this for 10, 15 minutes and then we're going to let you do whatever you'd like to do and give them options, because they need that. Control. The first, then tax reward, you know. Have them pick out two or three things. So, because it's what you want, your goal is, okay, we're going to work for 10, 15 minutes or whatever you decide to do. Then they get this reward. Then they come back to the table and work, maybe for another 10, 15 minutes. Remember, if you're homeschooling, you don't have to sit there for two, three hours and do something you know. Pick what you'd like them to learn today and just focus on that. Like to them to learn today and and just focus on that.
Speaker 1:Be specific when you're asking them to do something. Don't just say we're going to do math or we're going to do reading. Tell them okay, we're going to do these six math problems and I like the visual timers, and most of the kids do that too. They like those visual timers and there's different ones that kids like. They like the sand ones, or maybe you're on your phone or different types of timers are out there for kids. Or if you're going to read, say, okay, we're going to read for 15 minutes and then set that timer for that too. This way, it gives them okay, this is exactly what I'm doing. Not, I don't know what I'm doing, you're just saying math. That doesn't mean anything to me. What am I doing in math?
Speaker 1:So be specific in what you want them to do and don't be afraid to keep revisiting the cards. You know the card that you have first then and say, okay, remember, you know you do this. And then you get that. You know it's okay to keep revisiting those cards. You need to do that. So for step one, there's three steps.
Speaker 1:So for step one, first do and then decide what they're going to do. Then you can then put that in there. So that's step one. You're going to figure out what they're going to do. They're going to do math, six problems, and then they're going to watch TV for 15 minutes. Step two follow through. So if you decided that they're going to do these six math problems, you have to follow through. So if you decided that they're going to do these six math problems, you have to follow through, and it doesn't matter if they're throwing a tantrum or whatever. You have to follow through with that task. So think about you know their endurance, what it is you're asking. It doesn't take a hundred problems to figure out if they know how to add single digits. So if you do three or four of them, do that.
Speaker 1:If you are a parent or a guardian that has a tendency to not follow through, they throw a fit, and they throw a fit for five minutes. They wear you down. You need to start training yourself not to do that, because if they throw a fit and you cave in, guess what's going to happen the next time? The same thing, and before you know it, you're saying to yourself okay, it's been like three weeks and they haven't hardly done anything. Well, no, because they know how to, you know, manipulate you. So you've got to be able to follow through and keep.
Speaker 1:And if they throw a tantrum, and it doesn't matter, you have to struggle with them to get them to the table. That task has to be done and you need to follow through, and it doesn't matter how long it takes to do it. You have to follow through with whatever you decided that they want to do. So think about it before you do it, because it doesn't have to be a long endurance of something. You can build up to that later. Just do small little chunks of something and then, once they are engaged and they start if they are still resisting, you know, go back to the first step, say remember, we're doing this to get this and just keep doing that. And the younger the better you start, the better it is as they get older, because as they get older it gets worse. But even if they are older, you still need to follow through and let them be. Let them know that you're the boss, not them. And so if you have those bad habits of caving in, throwing up your hands I've had enough you need to start training yourself not to do that anymore.
Speaker 1:And then the third thing is reinforcements. I talked about that in my last podcast and remember to do it immediately. And there's all different kinds of things that you can do. Figure out what's best for your child and what works for your child. I know a lot I talk a lot about I hope I kind of share, both in the classroom and at home, because I'm seeing like a lot of people doing homeschooling and having difficulty, you know doing that at home, because I'm seeing like a lot of people doing homeschooling and having difficulty, you know doing that at home, and it is because the kids think school, school, home's home. But if they're going to be at home, you have to say okay, during this time of day, and it doesn't have to be from eight o'clock to two o'clock or three o'clock, it can be from eight o'clock to, or, if they're like to sleep in, it can be from 10 o'clock to 12 o'clock, it doesn't matter, and it doesn't have to be you. You can get a tutor to come in or maybe a relative or somebody to help you with some of these tasks. So the second thing that I want to talk about is this can happen at home or at school. So the first one is for at home.
Speaker 1:You want to make your like. Let's say you're saying to them, give them choices. So you say you want to make your bed first or pick up your toys, so you want both of those tasks to be done. But give them a choice which would you prefer to do? Or do you want to wash your face or brush your teeth first? Those kind of choices they need that. We need to give them as much choices as we possibly can.
Speaker 1:Sometimes you can at school, you can do like a vision board, you know, pick out four things or three things and say, okay, when you're done with this task, pick out one of the things you do. I do that at my school. I kind of came in in the middle of the year so they weren't used to doing a lot of things and they had a lot of to me kind of downtime and too much of it, I thought. And so I do task boxes and they do too. They pick, and sometimes I pick and they do two task boxes, and then I have a board that they get to choose from, and it may be, you know, sit and reading a book and having a snack, an extra snack, or it may be extra 50 minutes on your iPad has to be educational, though, because that's just one of my things. So I have three or four different things, or they can play with Legos or something like that, just something that they can do and they get to choose, you know, at different times, and I try to mix it up and give them different choices. And I try to mix it up and give them different choices, and so that's something that you can do at school and you can do it at home, but they need choices.
Speaker 1:That's the second thing. The third thing is ways to say no. Now, this is kind of hard for me, to be honest with you. I catch myself saying no sometimes and getting upset and saying no, and it's a bad, bad habit to do. So I try to break that. So let's say they ask you a question Can I have some chocolate or some candy? So how can I address that? So I can say and this is at home or at school, no, but provide something different. Say no, not right now, but would you like an apple or an orange or something like that, and I usually have something at school too that it's a little more healthier than candy.
Speaker 1:Or you can say there's three ways to say no no, but given no, but how about this kind of thing? And the second one is just yes, but later let's have dinner, or at my school would be lunch. Okay, so after lunch, yes, you can have that. It's less engaging than just saying no response. It's less engaging than just saying no response. And even with a no response, if you just say no, but how about this? It's less engaging. They're given a choice if you say no, but I'll provide this alternative for you. Or if you say yes, but after you finish your lunch or dinner or whatever the case may be finish your lunch or dinner or whatever the case may be so that way you don't get so much of a negative response from them.
Speaker 1:And then the third thing is just saying wait until after dinner, and wait is kind of a good thing to do. I want to talk a little bit more about that. Sometimes, even if it's okay for them to have it if they've done a task, and then you set a timer for one minute because they need that practice of waiting, because, as you know life, you wait a lot in life, so they need that practice too, that everything is an instant to them. So if you say to them, yes, but let's wait two minutes, even after they eat dinner, say, yes, you can still have your dessert, but let's wait two minutes and set a timer for them, and most likely they're not going to throw a tantrum, especially if they get in the practice of doing it, and you don't have to do it every time, but just every once in a while say, no, let's wait a minute, or can you wait a minute for me or something, so they give them that time to kind of wait. So that's all I have for on this one. I'm going to do another one for next week too.
Speaker 1:These are working on some behaviors and hopefully they help you in managing their behaviors at school and at home, or whatever the case may be. And it also can be like, if you're going somewhere too, think about that, that you're going somewhere and you want to control their behavior. Say, you do good at church today or at shopping, you'll get this or that. Okay, anyway, have a great day and I will do another one soon. Bye-bye.
