Why would anybody do that?

What if the people who frustrate you most aren’t being rebellious—but genuinely believe they’re doing the right thing?

How did Jesus respond to people committing the greatest sin in history—and what does that mean for the way we correct others today?

Does believing that “everyone is right in their own eyes” change how you talk to irritating brethren, disappointing leaders, or even your own family?

When you confront someone, are you aiming to win an argument—or to win a heart?

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Transcript

087 Why Would Anybody Do That?

What if the people who frustrate you most aren’t being rebellious—but genuinely believe they’re doing the right thing?

How did Jesus respond to people committing the greatest sin in history—and what does that mean for the way we correct others today?

Does believing that “everyone is right in their own eyes” change how you talk to irritating brethren, disappointing leaders, or even your own family?

When you confront someone, are you aiming to win an argument—or to win a heart?

“Why in the world would anybody do that? Anybody in their right mind oughta know better’n that. They aren’t honest.”

How I answer the question in my mind determines how I approach someone to confront and correct them. If they aren’t in their right mind and aren’t honest, I may not be working with good soil. But I may be a poor judge of someone’s heart.

Proverbs 21:2’s been helpful to me as a beginning point in evaluating bizarre behavior:

Every way of a man is right in his own eyes,
But the Lord weighs the hearts (NKJV).

The rule (proverb): everything a person does, he believes is the best thing for him to do at the moment. Does that apply to big sins as well as medium and small sins? Would killing Jesus be a big sin?

Jesus must’ve read and believed this proverb when He said on the cross, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they’re doing” (Luke 23:34).

Peter agreed with this observation when he spoke to those who clamored for Jesus’ death: “Yet now, brethren, I know that you did it in ignorance, as did also your rulers” (Acts 3:17).

Paul was sure of the same principle, applying it to the same people:

But we speak the wisdom of God in a mystery, the hidden wisdom which God ordained before the ages for our glory, which none of the rulers of this age knew; for had they known, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory (1 Corinthians 2:7, 8).

If I believe what Jesus, Peter, and Paul said, it will moderate how I talk with:

• People who do and teach things that aren’t true.
• Brethren who irritate me.
• Elders who disappoint me.
• Preachers who don’t “act like preachers.”
• Weak brethren who fall.
• Strong brethren uninformed on some things.
• My children.
• My spouse.

How Do I Minister to Those Who Don’t Know What They’re Doing?

1. Teach them as I wanna be taught when I don’t know what I’m doing.

So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets. — Matthew 7:12

Have you ever done anything you thought was right, the best thing to do, but later discovered it was wrong? How did you wanna be treated? I don’t wanna be insulted, degraded, and treated like a dishonest person. I can explain and share what I’ve learned without inferring that they’re stupid because they haven't already understood this. When Peter told the people on Pentecost, they changed their minds and changed their ways (Acts 2:14-47).

1. Show them by example, especially when I am very irritated by their actions.  Often, when I’m overly irritated with someone, it’s when they remind me of something I haven’t realized yet.
2. Learn from them. We compliment someone when we recognize that everything they do isn’t wrong. I do myself a favor when I realize that, because some things others do or say may be wrong, everything they do or say isn’t wrong. It’s OK to admit that and learn from what they do that’s right. Having the mind of Christ, I am to value others better than myself (Philippians 2:3).
3. Suffer for them to help them. Jesus prayed for people who didn’t know what they were doing (Luke 23:34). I don’t think His prayer was answered then. For some, it was answered at Pentecost when Peter gave them correct information on what they’d done wrong, which they thought was right (Acts 2:36-38). But Jesus’ suffering on their behalf on the cross made possible the blessing Peter promised to those who accepted it. It wasn’t the first time Jesus didn’t get what he asked for (Matthew 26:39). When we serve others, we often do more than having ready answers to Bible questions with much heat and little light.
4. Be patient. I won’t fix everything in fifteen minutes. Some people are slow learners. Peter had several opportunities to understand the no-partiality rule (Acts 2:38, 39; Acts 10, 11; Galatians 2:11-16).
5. Some people learn when they see someone else doing what they’re doing. When David heard about a sheep-stealer, with Nathan’s help, David saw David as he was. — 2 Samuel 12:1-13 from The Message

But God was not at all pleased with what David had done, and sent Nathan to David. Nathan said to him, “There were two men in the same city—one rich, the other poor. The rich man had huge flocks of sheep, herds of cattle. The poor man had nothing but one little female lamb, which he had bought and raised. It grew up with him and his children as a member of the family. It ate off his plate and drank from his cup and slept on his bed. It was like a daughter to him.

“One day a traveler dropped in on the rich man. He was too stingy to take an animal from his own herds or flocks to make a meal for his visitor, so he took the poor man’s lamb and prepared a meal to set before his guest.”

David exploded in anger. “As surely as God lives,” he said to Nathan, “the man who did this ought to be lynched! He must repay for the lamb four times over for his crime and his stinginess!”

“You’re the man!” said Nathan. — The Message

When you talk with someone, what are you aiming for? It’ll make a difference in what you hit!