Talkin' Tennessee with Yvonnca

God Pushed You To Somewhere New Ft Matt Ryerson, CEO of YMCA East Tennessee

Yvonnca Landes Season 7 Episode 2

A powerful conversation unfolds as Matt Ryerson, the new CEO of YMCA East Tennessee, shares his courageous journey to a renewed purpose. After 15 years in the United Way network, Matt found himself successful on paper but disconnected from the direct impact that originally fueled his passion. His candid admission about wrestling with the fear of "what will people think?" resonates with anyone who's ever felt trapped in a prestigious role that may no longer bring fulfillment.

We hope you all enjoy this inspiring episode! 

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Yvonnca Landes
 Realty Executives Associates
 865.660.1186 or 588.3232
www.YvonncaSellsRealEstate.com

Adrienne Landes
Realty Executives Associates
865.659-6860 or 588.3232

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Produced and engineered by: Adrienne Landes


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Speaker 1:

Check us out to hear the latest on life in the volunteer state. Yvonca and her guests discuss everything from life, love and business with a Tennessee flair. It's a Tennessee thing, always relatable, always relevant and always a good time. This is Talkin' Tennessee, and now your host, yvonca.

Speaker 2:

This episode is brought to you by the Landis team, your go-to real estate family in East Tennessee. If you are looking to buy or sell, we are the ones you should call. Give us a call at 865-660-1186 or check out our website at YvoncaSellsRealEstatecom. That's Yvonca Y-V-O-N-N-C-A SalesRealEstatecom.

Speaker 3:

Welcome back to Talking Tennessee with Yvonne. I am your host and I am here with my dear friend, the new CEO of the YMCA in Knoxville. Welcome, matt Ryerson.

Speaker 4:

It is great to be back. Thanks for having me, yeah.

Speaker 3:

Most definitely. Well, guys, the last time we were talking with Matt, he was at a different organization. He was at the United Way of Knoxville and you've transitioned.

Speaker 4:

I have Big move.

Speaker 3:

Yes, both organizations are great organizations, but sometimes you have to make a move. Sometimes God will move you, you know. Even when you don't know you need to move, he'll do a nudge. I think you got the nudge.

Speaker 4:

I did. I got a pull, a nudge, a tap on the shoulder, whatever you want to call it. I felt it.

Speaker 3:

So what made you step out? Let's get into it.

Speaker 4:

Yeah, you know, go back a couple of years ago. My mom passed away and my brother and I. I think that hit us hard. I think it hit us particularly hard because a few years prior to that, my dad had passed away. My mom and dad had lots of plans and retirement visions, visions, thoughts of what they wanted to do, and most of it didn't come true and my mom lived that shows reality too, yes, and fast track, yes.

Speaker 4:

And her last few years of her life, there was a lot of regret. Like you could, she would tell me you know I'm so disappointed, I disappointed, I'm so sad. And there was.

Speaker 3:

I wish we could have done this. I wish we could have done that together.

Speaker 4:

Yes, Even some anger, and I'll never forget. After my mom passed, I was up in Ohio with my brother.

Speaker 4:

We're playing ping pong in the middle of the night having a lot of reflection and conversation, and one of the conversations was about we can't. We need to learn from this. We can't live our lives at any point in regret. And so fast forward to my time at the United Way. I was in the United Way network for 15 years total, a lot of fundraising, an incredible organization doing incredible stuff. But the old football saying that I use all the time is I emptied the tank Like I had poured my heart and soul into that work, here in Knoxville especially, and we all felt it during COVID.

Speaker 3:

Yes, that was hard.

Speaker 4:

It was really hard and the tank was really empty and I was having a hard time. I'd take a vacation or go on something on the weekend and try and and you just felt burnout yes, and but you found out try and you just felt burnout yes.

Speaker 3:

And? But you found out, it's more than just being burnout.

Speaker 4:

Yeah, yeah. And so I also at that time, was feeling a call, a real pull to get closer to the work. Yes, the United Way great organization, but they're a layer removed from the work. Right, they do a lot of fundraising, they do a convening, all of it's, but they're a layer removed from the work. Right, they do a lot of fundraising, they do a convening, all of it's important. But I kept finding myself wanting to get closer to the families. We serve the kids, we serve the seniors we serve.

Speaker 4:

Yes, okay, I didn't know what that looked like, but in my time in the United Way I built some good relationships. I was able to be transparent and started planning a transition and during that my predecessor at the YMCA, jim Dixon, was going through retirement and the timelines didn't match perfectly. But, as you were talking, it's funny how things barriers get removed, doors open and a number of things position themselves. A lot of gifts to me and my family that really opened a door at the YMCA and for me it was a homecoming I started my career at the YMCA, my first almost 10 years of my professional career as a kid you know, leading camps and childcare and fitness and health.

Speaker 4:

All of that was kind of the start of my career and it felt like kind of a return back.

Speaker 3:

It's like going back home. It is something that you that is dear to your heart. You went out. You did great things, but let me go back home and dig deeper. Yeah, you know that type thing. I would say that a lot of it has to do with obedience. I can relate to you because I lost my parents. Okay, I lost my parents before I was 40 years old. I was without parents.

Speaker 4:

I'm sorry.

Speaker 3:

And when you go through that, you have to lean on a lot of people in the community for guidance and you knock your head a lot when you're when you don't have parents.

Speaker 3:

You knock your head a lot and but you have great mentors in the community and I had great mentors in the community but the one thing about not having parents, you, you reflect on what you could have done if they were there and what they could have done with you, with your family, your children, all that, and so I think, with you sharing that it just shows that you wanted to make sure that you were doing the work that really brought you joy.

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 3:

Not saying that the United Way didn't bring you joy, but you wanted a deeper joy, yeah. And with your tank being emptied, I think every leader needs to be fulfilled in whatever that may be Okay, and when you're not being fulfilled in a position, you got to step out on faith and just look for that fulfillment, yeah, and then you'll be better, a better leader. You'll find a part of your community that you fit.

Speaker 4:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

And I think you found your fit.

Speaker 4:

I did and thank you for saying that. You know it's really interesting because the role I had at United Way as president and CEO is such an honor.

Speaker 3:

Yes.

Speaker 4:

Like it was an incredible privilege to serve in that role Most definitely.

Speaker 4:

So you feel like this duty and responsibility to never take it lightly, to honor it. And I came to this point and this is really fascinating and it was almost kind of an upside down mentality. But for so long I was like I can't give up this job because so many people would die to have this job. This is such a privilege. Then the other side of that equation is but if the tank is empty, if you're not finding the fulfillment that you really need, Are you really serving that position in the way that it should be served, because it's a privilege to be that CEO and make it to be a CEO.

Speaker 3:

Am I serving that position in good order?

Speaker 4:

That's right. Exactly, it's a disservice to the organization.

Speaker 3:

Because God said do everything in good order. That's right, exactly.

Speaker 4:

It's a disservice to the organization, because God said do everything in good order. Right. And it was through that discernment process that I said you know, this is a move we my wife and family we really need to make. But, like you said, I was scared.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, yeah, I was more, you know I literally, what do you think your biggest challenge was? Well, the biggest challenge is making that decision. Okay, but what was your challenge in moving? I mean, once you got it in your mind, okay, I've got to do this. What do you think your biggest challenge?

Speaker 4:

was, and I'm embarrassed to say this, but my biggest thing was what are people going to think?

Speaker 3:

And you know what, matt, let me say this I respect that you're saying it. I think more people need to say that. Okay, because I believe you know we're taught don't worry about what other people think, but to a certain extent, we do care. Yeah, we don't want people to think that we did something wrong. We don't want people to think that there's some big secret, because people love theory.

Speaker 3:

Right, they do the big theory of okay, what did Matt do? Or why is he leaving, that type thing. And we have to realize that if more people don't speak up and say my tank was empty, yeah. I just didn't have any fulfillment and I don't think I was giving what that position needed at that time. So I chose to step down for the fulfillment for all involved.

Speaker 4:

That's exactly it.

Speaker 3:

That's exactly it. We have to be better at saying okay, we have to understand that people are going to talk, that's what they're going to do. We have to understand that people are going to talk, that's what they're going to do but what the biggest thing is. Are we doing what God wants us to do? Are we moving the way that God would want us to do? And is when, with your family, the stress of it all it brings?

Speaker 3:

a burden and I'm going to tell you I will honor my pastor that passed away a few years ago. The one thing that he taught me he taught me when I accepted the calling on my life as a prophet is that he said when things become a burden, you're not doing God's work. He said, because God will never allow things to be a burden. He said, when it becomes a burden, you have to move, because if you, he said, that's how you don't try to do his job.

Speaker 4:

Right.

Speaker 3:

Okay. So if it's a burden to you, even though you love it, you've got to move, and that's what it became to you.

Speaker 4:

Yeah, yeah, and that's.

Speaker 3:

You know, it's scary you know, and as a primary breadwinner of my house.

Speaker 4:

You're like what?

Speaker 3:

is this going to mean for and as a man I truly believe that y'all's roles. I tell my husband all the time I would never want to be a man. I said because if you really think about being a good man and a provider for your family, that's scary because Because you know, whatever decision you make affects your whole family, that's right, that's right.

Speaker 4:

And to have my dad worked in a factory, yeah Right. And so I'm sitting there thinking about this sweet job where I'm the president of a nonprofit and I work in an office and I have all this privilege. My dad worked third shift in a factory. Who am I to complain about that? But to your point, there is a great responsibility. I felt like could I have done that job for another three, five years? Probably Would I have done it well, probably not, probably not right, and it probably wouldn't have been my best. I probably wouldn't have been happy, my family would have felt it, and you know those same people that we thought about.

Speaker 3:

Okay, if I leave this job, what are people going to think? Well, just imagine if you would have stayed in that job for the next three to five years and you're not fulfilled and it's a burden. Then people are still going to talk because they're going to think he's not doing his job.

Speaker 4:

Right and they would have been right.

Speaker 3:

Exactly, you see what. I'm saying yeah, yeah yeah, so you left on your own terms, instead of it being a negative thought in everyone's mind that you're not doing your job.

Speaker 4:

Yeah, yeah, you know, and I grew up in this era and my mom and dad in particular were don't quit right, and so that's kind of a part of my DNA, a part of who I am.

Speaker 3:

I was raised the same way.

Speaker 4:

Yeah, and so quitting a job feels like kind of a slight on that, but the reality is it's not to me and certainly I stepped down and resigned, quit technically, but the reality is I like to look at it as I turn the page on a chapter. Right, that was an incredible chapter and it's okay it is. Now it's somebody else's chapter to take on and I have no doubt the United Way will be in great hands. They have a great board of directors and a great team over there. And now I get to dive into my next chapter.

Speaker 3:

He said I'm going to be at the YMCA and I'm going to have passion and I'm going to have fulfillment and I'm a dig deeper.

Speaker 4:

Yeah, yeah. In fact, one quick story when I when I arrived at the Y, my second day on the job and my office is in a Y, so I'm like in the, I love it. In fact, across my hall, across the hall from my office, is our child watch program, so childcare for little ones. And so second day on the job I'm walking into the office and there's this mom and she's just gotten out of a class and she's sweaty, she's got a bag, she's trying to wrestle a toddler and she's got a car seat.

Speaker 2:

We've all seen it and done it Right.

Speaker 4:

Seat We've all seen it and done it right, and so I was able to toss my bag aside, run over and say, hey, can I help you with the car seat? I got four kids I'm kind of a pro.

Speaker 3:

And she laughed and she starts talking about not knowing I work there, y'all see how approachable this person is. Did you hear this? How approachable he is.

Speaker 4:

So I'm able to help her get this toddler squared away. And she is just going on and on about how she's a single mom, that she's got a scholarship to ymca, that she couldn't commit the time or energy to do this work on herself and for her family if she didn't have the support of this organization. She turns to me and she says do you work here? I said, yeah, I just started. She has no idea what my role is. She goes. Well, you tell your boss that this is a great place to work.

Speaker 3:

And I know you want to. I was like you know what? I'll spread the word. Yeah, he's like, I'll tell you.

Speaker 4:

Yeah, so it was that confirmation walking into the office that that transition was the right step.

Speaker 3:

You know, and the best part of you is you allowed yourself to help the person. It was not in your mind is let me know. Let me let her know I am the boss. You didn't care about that. It wasn't about telling her who the boss was. It was about meeting her needs.

Speaker 4:

That's right.

Speaker 3:

You know, and so that's why I love you so much, because you're so humble and you've always been that way, ever since I met you. And I remember when it was announced and I went to Adrian and David and I said I'm going to give him a moment because I know it's probably a lot going on.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, ok, there's a lot of noise.

Speaker 3:

Yes, but I said I've got to reach out to him. I got to reach out, so I remember putting congratulations on your page and whatever, whatever. And I think I said on the thing about coming on the podcast, because I'm like I'm supporting my friend and I want my friend to come on the podcast so we can show his new journey, because I believe in him, that type thing, and so I thank you for coming.

Speaker 4:

No, thank you for all that Most definitely.

Speaker 3:

Most definitely, Because I believe in you and I believe that if you believe in somebody and they make a decision for their life, then you need to be a true supporter and show your support. So what would you tell somebody that is in the same? You know their mind, space is the same. What advice would you give them if they wanted to make that move?

Speaker 4:

Yeah, you know, being a great friend, you understand this, I think, to have a circle of confidence, of mentors, of supporters, of loved ones and being transparent, right, I mean we can get attracted to jobs because it's a bigger title or more money. Those are almost always bad decision-making factors. You know it's more about fit and where you are on your journey. People that will speak truth into your life are incredibly valuable and to be able to have those conversations and being honest with yourself.

Speaker 4:

The other part of that is and I can speak to this because this was a very scary transition for me Don't let fear dictate the decision. Yes, I'm not saying that fear isn't sometimes an indicator that you should step away, but so, and fear, is that is real?

Speaker 4:

Yes, but a lot of times the fear is the narrative in your mind that you're telling yourself. Right, that you're telling yourself oh, you're going to lose this and you'll never be respected again. You're not going to be the same leader You're not going to have those opportunities again, and that's your lack of self-confidence and, by the way, I'm not saying yours in the world, I'm talking about me Like. I was battling that exact internal conversation, in fact.

Speaker 3:

And I think it's harder for a man. I'm not saying it's not hard for women, but I think it's harder for a man because y'all wear that crown of the king of things of your family. Right, you know that type of thing and it's like how am I going to make my family look?

Speaker 4:

good, yes, yeah, and that's a. You know how?

Speaker 3:

many people are going to go to my wife and say what is going on with me.

Speaker 4:

Yeah, or talk to your kids at school yes, that type of thing, yeah.

Speaker 3:

Or talk to your kids at school yes, that type of thing, yeah, scary, and it's like this is not my kid's decision, this is not my wife's decision. I'm just not fulfilled here, but it affects them, that type thing. So would you say, when you're making that move, I always tell people pray about it and let God lead you on things. Fear when I get fear in my heart about anything. I learned this when David got sick. I had so much fear because I had 12 doctors tell me daily he was a dead man.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

That he was not going to make it, and imagine that going in your mind.

Speaker 2:

Right.

Speaker 3:

Someone saying this and by the numbers he should be dead. Yeah, okay, but by the promise of God and the miracle of God, he's not a dead man and I want you to know. The first thing that Matt asked me today y'all is how's your husband?

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

You know, so this happens to be out working hard, so he's doing really well. This is a real friendship. This is not a top top surface friendship. We care about our families and we care about knowing about each other and thank you for asking, but I know that you in your mind was is if I do this, I can't go back to that. You know what I'm saying when I make this move is it going to be sustainable?

Speaker 4:

Yeah. I think it will be yeah, me too, thank you. Two be yeah, me too. Thank you Two things. You asked the question what would I advise people To? Be able to speak your fears out loud, expose those fears. You know anything that's in the dark. Isolation is a great place for negative thoughts to thrive, right, and so I'll never forget sitting with my wife and saying to her what will people think?

Speaker 3:

Yeah.

Speaker 4:

And as it came out of my mouth, I was like well, that's a dumb thing to say. Why are you making decisions based on what other people will think? And I could see it written all over her face. She's looking at me like what did you just?

Speaker 3:

say what did you just say?

Speaker 4:

Why would we care what other people?

Speaker 3:

think Exactly.

Speaker 4:

And that's.

Speaker 3:

But you have to pray off fear. Yes, let me go back a minute, because I was saying one thing. One thing I had to learn when I was in the hospital with David is to pray off fear. And so when I get fearful about something, I pray, I put my hand on my chest and I'm like God, take the fear out of my heart, re. God, take the fear out of my heart, replace it with faith. God, take the fear out of my heart. I'll say it repeatedly until I start feeling better.

Speaker 3:

Take the fear out of my heart, replace it with faith, and it's helped me throughout the years. But sometimes I think that we make something so big in our head.

Speaker 4:

Like it's going to, just like when we make this decision, everything's going to collapse. My wife actually has a I don't even know if this is a real word, but she says all the time that I catastrophize and what I do is, you know, the garbage truck didn't pick up the trash and I'm like, oh, the trash is going to back up and then we're going to get rats and our house will get infested. And she's looking at me like, what are you doing? And so I think everybody can be prone to that.

Speaker 3:

That's why God made a husband and wife.

Speaker 4:

That's right, because one of them has to say it's going to be okay. Yeah what are you talking about?

Speaker 3:

And then, you have to say, okay, it is going to be, because David pulls wills me in and I will him in in areas that he's weaker and I'm weaker, or whatever, and I think that's what makes the marriage a good thing, that's right. But knowing your wife, I can see her speaking life in you.

Speaker 2:

Oh yeah.

Speaker 3:

I can see her saying it's going to be okay, we're going to make it, you know, but everybody doesn't have that. Yeah, so what would you say to the person that say they're single, say they're in a marriage that doesn't have that support? You did say it. You said about the mentors you got to have, and I know that everybody thinks this is just a saying. You say but surround yourself with like-minded people and people that are going to truly, truly pour into you.

Speaker 4:

Yeah, and it's a big deal when you have somebody you believe in that's successful in life. I have a friend who's a CEO at a hospital down in Georgia and he's talking into. I'm really excited about the next big thing you're going to accomplish. Like his mind was already on to the next thing, and that builds that confidence in yourself when you're like what am I afraid?

Speaker 3:

of I'm telling you you're going to do great things. Yeah, you're going to do great things and people are going to get to see, I think, the YMCA in a different way, not saying the old way was bad, but it needs to evolve. And that's my next question.

Speaker 4:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

Is in leadership since you joined the YMCA. What would you say? Say how are y'all evolving?

Speaker 4:

yeah, you know that's such a good question because here's an organization that's been in our community a long time, a long time, over 100 years. One of our buildings 100 years old, right, and so we've been around a while, which is a great statement on stability and strength and community presence. It also is hard to change an organization that's been around a long time.

Speaker 3:

I have already found that, because a lot of people don't like change. No, no.

Speaker 4:

I've already found that our team is doing such incredible work. The Y has such a fantastic team. The board of directors is just passionate followers and leaders of the YMCA in our community, and so it's a great position to launch from. And, like you said, how do we evolve? I think we are going to lean more into some things that maybe people don't traditionally think of in the YMCA. So, like for most people, the YMCA is, you know, gym and swim right. We got basketball courts and we got pools right, and a lot of people have learned to swim at the YMCA. A lot of people play pickup basketball at the YMCA. Fitness and health we're known for these things, but the reality is we're also doing a ton of work in child care, early care and education getting those children when they're six months old, a year old, and really surrounding them with strong academic supports and safe and secure environment, while mom may go off to work, that's right.

Speaker 3:

But the other part it's very young.

Speaker 4:

It does, and I think the other part of that that really gets me excited. And one of our board members shared this phrase the other day in a board meeting that I really liked, and it was about social connectedness. And in fact, dr Murthy, who was a two-time US Surgeon General, wrote this paper recently titled my Parting Prescription to America. And in this, as the Surgeon General, they're often hey, we got to be careful of smoking, of cancer, that's the Surgeon General's job. The Surgeon General in this case said one of the problems we have is a lack of community and connectedness. And so when our board member said you know what the why is?

Speaker 4:

To me, it's a place for social connectedness. Do we have a gym and do we do swimming? Absolutely. Do we do childcare? Yes, but what we're really about is creating a community around those. Yes, and it's this social connect, especially post COVID, when we were all isolated. Not to mention, we all carry it was awful. And not to mention, we all carry it was awful. And not to mention, we all carry devices that we are all prone to being on far too much. I'm as guilty as anybody, but when I go work out at a YMCA because I need to get my workout in. I can go to a treadmill in my basement and do it in isolation.

Speaker 4:

But it's not like the YMCA, that's right when I can walk in and see the front desk person they're asking me about hey, how's your day going? It's pretty good, and I see Ralph on the treadmill.

Speaker 2:

Hey.

Speaker 3:

Ralph how's work today?

Speaker 4:

It's going pretty good. How about you? And all of a sudden I'm having conversation.

Speaker 3:

There's a connection.

Speaker 4:

That's right and so for me, I think that's what we really be leaning into more. We're going to continue to provide all the services we always have. We're going to continue to provide them with excellence, really serve our families, our children, our seniors, those that are in need, but we're really going to amplify that this is a place that you can come to find your people and be connected, whether you're going to sling heavyweights in the weight room or recently at one of our ymcas, on a friday night we had a board game night. Bring your family. We have all these board games put down your, your ipads, your telephones, all that stuff is set aside.

Speaker 4:

You're just going to be with your family, playing life or scrabble or whatever it is back in the old days, the first time we launched that, we had over 40 people almost 50 people showed up.

Speaker 3:

There's a desire for social connectedness and a lot of young people like certain things from old school yes they really do yes and that's one way the board games is. That's a connector yeah it truly is a connector and I think that and you can talk through things like while you're playing a game about you know, the kids can be together talking about how school was and I think a lot of kids what they're going through while they're playing that game. They can get another kid through what they're going through.

Speaker 4:

Absolutely, and that's where it gets deep, right, as you kind of mentioned. For me, this gets really deep. It gets really personal, where people you're tearing down the barriers that we all create for ourselves, right.

Speaker 3:

Correct.

Speaker 4:

And our phones. As much as they're great resources, they also become barriers to connection. I mean, how many of us, myself included, sit with your significant other, your wife, your partner, whoever it is?

Speaker 3:

Scrolling.

Speaker 4:

Sc. Sit with your significant other, your wife, your partner, whoever it is Scrolling, scrolling. You could be talking to them, scrolling and texting, and then I don't know how many times I thought I don't feel connected to you right now.

Speaker 2:

Let's do something, and then I'm like last night.

Speaker 4:

I was on my phone for two hours when I could have been talking to her all night. We at the Y really believe that we have a pathway to social connectedness, not just with your family, but with other groups, similar and different.

Speaker 3:

To get these, perspectives, brands and strangers.

Speaker 4:

That's right, and I feel like and this is me getting a little bit on my soapbox, but I feel like that's also the pathway to unifying our country and our community is to get us out of our I'm going to post this response to their Facebook message out of our I'm going to post this response to their Facebook message. Instead of that, I'm sitting down playing risk at a YMCA. We may disagree on some things, but you're going to find a lot more things that you have in common when you're forced to sit down and have conversations.

Speaker 3:

I'll tell you, I'm in leadership Knoxville this year and we went to the Capitol for two days. And we went to the Capitol for two days Monday and Tuesday and the one thing I noticed there was the Republicans, there was the Democrats. One thing I noticed they all sat in one room. They all talked. They may not have agreed on everything, they may not agree on everything, but they were unified to talk through whatever the bill. If they were talking about a bill, they're talking about a new law. Whatever they were talking about, they were still unified. And I said if everybody could see this right now, of all the things that we see in the media, okay, of the politics, if they could only see what I got to see firsthand of both parties still working together, you know, and still making decisions that will affect us, I was like I think we would be more unified to realize get your feelings out of it. I mean, everything is not made to debate, everything is not made to argue about. How about caring about one another and understanding? It's okay to disagree yeah.

Speaker 3:

It's okay to disagree and it's okay to have a bad day. Think of some of the people that come in the Y and you know they're having a really hard day, like what you were saying. That woman she's trying with her child, you know, trying to figure it out. You don't know what the burden on her mind is.

Speaker 3:

That's right, but just for you, to the humility that you had to help this woman. And you know, not throw your title, not throw who you are, that type thing, but just saying you know what? I'm a man, You're a woman. You need help. I'm going to help you with your bags or your child or whatever, and I hope your day's better.

Speaker 4:

That's right, and I mean we all wrestle with stuff right. We do we do To have a little empathy, and especially somebody wrestling with a car what I did for basically 12 years of my life I was like, oh, I know that feeling Trying to get to a meeting and you're trying to wrestle to get your child to daycare so you meet to that meeting on time.

Speaker 3:

You know, I think that a lot of the things that we go through, if we could just humble ourselves enough to see that there's privilege in a lot of things that we have, that someone else, the next person around the corner, may not have. You know, I learned that when we went over a thing in Leadership Knoxville last month about poverty. Just that exercise humbled me. Yeah, because I'm like in areas that I never had thought about.

Speaker 3:

Right, you know that type thing, what it would be like if I was getting off from work and my husband went to jail five minutes before I got off from work and I thought we were going home to eat dinner. That exercise put me in a place of anxiety, yeah, and it humbled me because I'm like you know. We pass judgment on a lot of people but you have no clue what their plans was supposed to be. But it turned out a different way. So if we connect and help each other, I think we'll make a better world.

Speaker 2:

And I think at the YMCA.

Speaker 3:

You're going to get that. Tell me this what is the if you could pick? I know there's probably many things. But over the time you were at the YMCA, what is your takeaway? What's the one thing that you can say I mean not at the YMCA. What is your takeaway? What's the one thing that you can say I mean not at the YMCA, I'm sorry at the United Way. What is the one thing that you say I learned while I was at the YMCA?

Speaker 4:

Wow, geez, you know there were. There's so many lessons 15 years. I grew so much. Started in my first United Way I think I was gosh, I was in my thirties and 15 years later.

Speaker 4:

Uh, but I you know one thing that sticks out for me, that that I think is along these lines, that we underestimate is the power of relationship, you know, and and especially we joke about it. In fact, my wife jokes all the time that she doesn't like to answer the phone, like she like text me. I don't want to talk, right, but when?

Speaker 4:

you're yeah, yeah, yeah, she's like don't but it's. She would agree that when we're in relationship, that's where the real opportunity developed, that's where the growth happens, whether it's in your professional career. Yeah, and you have to answer the phone sometimes, right? I don't know how many times I was like this conversation would be an easier email, it'll let me off the hook. But there's a better outcome if I go have coffee with this person.

Speaker 3:

Let me tell you I had a conversation yesterday. I'll tell you this short story. We were talking about that and we were saying that a lot of things. If you pick up the phone and you address whatever it is, you'll get a better outcome than you send in an email, because it's easy to get at somebody through an email versus on the phone. I think it's calmer when you're connecting that type thing.

Speaker 3:

And so one of the people that was in this conversation said oh my gosh, ivanka, I am so bad at that. When I just don't want to deal with something, I just shoot off an email. Yep, you know that type thing. And I said you need to do better with that, because you could have stopped tension in a situation I mean in a situation, but because you send it in an email, you don't know how they perceived it.

Speaker 4:

That's right. You don't know how somebody perceived your email.

Speaker 3:

So I agree with that, so tell me this in the short time you've been back at the Waymes yeah, yeah, what's the one thing that you can say is different that you've you've learned already about the new Waymes.

Speaker 4:

Yeah, that you know. To go back to that social connectedness, it's you know, when we think about addiction you think? About depression you think about.

Speaker 4:

You know, quite honestly, almost 50% of our population is considered obese. When you think about our self-worth and our self-value, how we perceive ourselves and our self-value, how we perceive ourselves. I have been doing a lot of reading, a lot of studying, and that is so much in isolation, because that voice in our head look, our brain is really good at talking us out of the positive thoughts and the positive things. That is a good point and I'm as guilty as anybody, and we are overthinkers.

Speaker 3:

Yes, we are over. There are some that are worse than others in overthinking, but I think we all overthink things depending on what the situation is.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

And then we get all bogged down in our head. Instead. I'm one of these people. People are like how do you do as much as you do? I say because I try not to think about it, I just I'm a doer.

Speaker 4:

Yes.

Speaker 3:

If I think about it, it's a done deal. I've stressed myself completely out. But if I go in and just do and just knock off that list, it's kind of like the list in your head but you don't write it down. Yeah. It's kind of like the list in your head, but you don't write it down and you just do. And that's how I get so much done, because if I stop and think about it, matt In fact it's funny.

Speaker 4:

You say that. I had this conversation with my daughter. She's a junior in high school here in Knoxville and she had a big assignment it was a paper or something and she's just clearly overwhelmed by it. And I just told her and this isn't genius stuff I said the best way to get that done is to start it, just start it. And the reality is we spent a lot of our time thinking I really need to get in shape, but I am so out of shape I wouldn't even know where to start. You know where you start. You start at the start.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, and you start walking. Yes, exactly, start walking.

Speaker 4:

That's all all you know, and and once you do that one thing, it starts building momentum.

Speaker 3:

In fact, there was a and it's gonna drive you it.

Speaker 4:

there's a great speaker I've heard he I don't know if he's still speaking a former navy seal, uh, leader in the military. He, his advice to people was wake up in the morning and make your bed and that was the key. And some of the people were like I don't understand, he goes. You start your day off with a victory. You start your day off with an accomplishment. You started your day with a list and you check something off your list. That creates momentum. It does no matter what it is if you can do a little thing. You have now moved and once you you're moving, it's easier to stay moving like you said, you get busy.

Speaker 4:

Yes, you start work and all of a sudden you're doing, you're doing. You look back and you're like, wow, I've just accomplished a lot. But if we stop and look at all the stuff we have to do in the world, oh my goodness, oh my god yeah we'll shut it down because we're like I'll never get to the top of that mountain.

Speaker 3:

Yeah.

Speaker 4:

In fact, there's this. I love this. There's a Greek myth, greek mythology there's. It's called the myth of Sisyphus. Have you ever heard of this? So the myth of Sisyphus is the story of, of this man who sinned against the gods and the gods determined to punish him for eternity, and his punishment was that he was going to push a boulder, a rock, up a mountain. When it got to the top of the mountain, it would roll back down and he was to push it up again. Now the myth of Sisyphus this guy's name is Sisyphus was that, while it was intended to be a punishment for eternity, he shifted it and said now I have purpose and so my purpose is to move the rock up, and it became a grind and then a point of pride, and this became his purpose and his movement. Now, I'm not saying we all want to push rocks uphill, but to me, that's become incredibly inspirational.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, and you got to work towards something and you got got to figure it out. And I'm one of these people. When I do speaking engagements, I tell people and I'm not saying, this is easy, I can turn any negative into a positive. And people are like, no, you can't. I'm like, yeah, I can Tell you how, because that's what I want to do, because that's what I want to do, when you put in your mind I don't care how bad it is, I got to find something positive that's coming out of it.

Speaker 4:

That had to be true with your husband. Yes, yes.

Speaker 3:

Because when David got sick, that's when I learned that okay, I wrote a book about it. Positive Living is that when you put in your mind, no matter how bad it sounds, because God told me. He said it doesn't matter what it looks like, it doesn't matter what you hear or you see, if you focus on me, I'll give your husband back. He said and literally told me this in the very first week when David got put on life support. He said do you want your husband? And I'm like God, please grant this miracle. And so he said well, get ready to work. And I'm like but what do you mean Get?

Speaker 4:

ready to work.

Speaker 3:

I'm like God, I don't know what you mean. I'm in a hospital. How am I going to work? So he made me go to every bed. Imagine this there's 30 beds in CCU at Park West. My husband was in bed seven If David Watson, park West right now people call him bed seven because they remember that much. Okay, so there was 29 beds that I had to go. He would make me go to every room and pray for somebody else's situation.

Speaker 2:

Wow.

Speaker 3:

And I kept saying God, I'm going through enough. God, why would you want me to pray for people? My mind is not there. I'm like I'm going through my own thing. But what God made me see was every day that I would do it. I wouldn't think about my situation Every day that I would do it. I would help somebody else to know him. It I would help somebody else to know him. Every day that I would do it, the doctors would tell me something that medically looked this way, but God would show me a different way. Every day I would do it, he would improve.

Speaker 4:

Wow. Discipline and faith yes, wow.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. So when I say I can turn anything into positive, my daughter would say she's in this room, I can turn anything into positive because I choose to turn it that way. I don't choose to look at it in a negative way.

Speaker 3:

Let me ask you how hard was that though, tell you there were days that I think one of the hardest days was. I went downstairs to go eat breakfast, came back up, a nurse runs out and says to me her name is Miss Lisa. She says Miss Botany needs you to come pray. I said, oh, I'm ready. By that time I had got used to it because before then I never prayed out loud, matt, I would always pray by myself. I never prayed out loud because I was too scared. I felt like when I would pray I would talk to God, like I'm talking to you, and I thought that if I prayed like that in front of people, people would think it was dumb.

Speaker 4:

What are people going to think?

Speaker 3:

Yes, so I wouldn't pray like that. But this lady literally tells me that she wants me to come pray. So I'm like, okay, let's go. So I get to the door and she says, yvonne, I need to tell you something. And I was like what, miss Lisa? She said he's dead and I said what? And she said she wants you to pray over his dead body. Man, I had never done that. Wow, I had never done that, wow, I had never prayed for. I'd never been in a room praying for a stranger Right, right, right spouse that's dead.

Speaker 3:

And he was yellow because of jaundice. His eyes was open. Okay, because he died. That way, god challenged me in such a way that it was like I'm going to take you to the darkest thing ever, but you're going to find fulfillment in doing it. So I said to Miss Claire to close his eyes. I said I can't. I've never done this. Please close his eyes. Now, god does have jokes. Let me just say that y'all they go to close their eyes. And she said Ivanka, you know Rick and Morty sits in, so we'll try to close them, but we can't guarantee that. So they close them. So where his joke was, one eye was open, one eye was closed. And Matt, I'm like sitting here, like God, you got jokes for real. So I put my hand. Normally I put my hand on someone's head when I pray for them or their heart.

Speaker 3:

I just didn't have the strength to do that, so I put my hand on the bottom on his legs. God still had jokes. While I'm trying to pray, his body jumped. Matt. While I'm praying, matt, people wonder why I'm the way I am. God has taken me through a lot. Okay, I love the Lord. So I'm praying. He's jerking. I'm over here like, oh my God, you're like.

Speaker 4:

I just healed him. Yes and Miss.

Speaker 3:

Bonnie is like so happy and she's crying and jerking. And I'm over here like oh my God, what are you like? I just healed him. Yes, yes, yes. And Miss Bonnie is like so happy and she's crying and she's so like oh my gosh. I don't know if he's saved or not, yvonne, but I know you prayed him through.

Speaker 2:

This is what this woman's saying to me.

Speaker 3:

I know you prayed him through. I know he's going to go to heaven now that you prayed and I'm sitting there going oh my God, is this really happening? Wow, but what I learned by doing that it doesn't matter what you're going through, it doesn't matter what it looks like, what you hear or see, there's always somebody that has a worse situation than you, and you can bring joy to someone by speaking a positive instead of a negative thing and coming out of yourself, and that's how you can make sure you're not selfish when you do for others.

Speaker 4:

Yeah, you're preaching now.

Speaker 3:

And that's how you make a difference.

Speaker 4:

Yeah, it's true, that's what I learned.

Speaker 3:

So that's why I say with you, you had to move mad.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's true, that's what I learned. So that's why I say with you.

Speaker 3:

You had to move, matt. Yeah, you wasn't fulfilled. You wasn't fulfilled. There's probably people going to come to you and say I get it, because I could tell Matt that your passion wasn't there anymore. They may not have came to you yet, but they probably will come to you and say that to you because people see when people it's in them.

Speaker 4:

It's wild that you're saying this. The most common thing I've heard from people when I've chatted with them since the transition is you look really happy right now.

Speaker 3:

You do. You really look happy and you look free, like the load has came off of you. And so my next question to you is what is your passion in nonprofit? To serving people.

Speaker 4:

Suit it sounds super hokey, right, somebody's gonna be listening to us. Oh geez, you know, but everything you just said that day walk in the woman's juggling toddler, I just help her with the car seat. I skipped into my office. In fact wendy at our front desk was looking at me like, oh, let's just settle down, because I was coming in all on fire and happy.

Speaker 4:

And you know, that is this circular experience, that when you bless somebody, when you serve somebody, when you help somebody, you feel that too Right and as, as you feel more of that, you want to give more of it. And that has this incredible community benefit. And I've had this wonderful career to be able to serve in organizations where I get to do that as my job. And again I think about my dad who worked in a factory, and how hard that must have been 30, 35 years working third shift in a factory, that's hard work.

Speaker 4:

Nobody's coming up to you saying you changed my life today. Thank you very much. That's not happening and I get to experience that in a very different way. And so for me, I think my passion for the nonprofit world is in the mission statement of whatever organization, at the YMCA in particular for me, serving people putting Christian principles into practice through programs that serve all To me. The mission of the Y speaks to my heart and my passion of service, um, but also, I think for me the why goes back to my career camping and working with kids and child care, health and fitness something I'm passionate about your parents were a big influence on you they were.

Speaker 4:

You know, it's funny. I was having this conversation the other day and somebody said, hey, were your parents like really philanthropic? And I said no, we were probably on the other end getting philanthropy. We weren't quite there, but we grew up relatively, you know, modest.

Speaker 3:

Yes.

Speaker 4:

You know, like I said, dad worked in a factory.

Speaker 2:

So we weren't living the high life, or?

Speaker 4:

anything, but it did shape me an awful lot, In fact one of my.

Speaker 3:

It showed your work ethic, absolutely Without question.

Speaker 4:

My dad and my mom and in fact you know, and this is a message I would give to your many listeners is you got family or friends or mentors, but especially your parents, that pour into you like that. Make sure they know it. Yes, you know, and I think Give them the flowers, tell them. Yes, tell them what, adrian. Let them know.

Speaker 3:

Yes, exactly, let them, and she does, I have to say that my son sent me a video the other day and it was. He saw it on something and it was different. People said thank you mom for this, thank you mom for that, thank you for this or whatever. And so Jaden's message was I can add even more of thank yous, because what you've done in my life and.

Speaker 3:

Matt. I was like bawling, just bawling, and I'm like, oh my gosh, because my son is 15 and he's going, he's trying to find his way and this year has been a hard year.

Speaker 2:

It's a tough age.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, but it's like for him to say that and just come in the house and I love you mom, I love you mom, and just kept hugging me. It just made me feel good because it's like, okay, even though he's going through a hard time, he still sees the positive. Because I preach this to my kids If I'm positive, no matter how negative it is, it's a message in it or something in there. So now I've got to talk about a negative, the negative of charity, the toxic toxicity of charity.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, and the reason why I want to talk about it is because, um, we can't sit and say everything is golden no yeah yeah. So what could you say? Why is it so toxic?

Speaker 4:

Yeah. So you know it's about doing it right and that's hard. Like we all I think we almost everybody I've ever met is big hearted. They want to help people. The hard part of that is how. How do we help people? And I think our first instinct is to give stuff to people. Now, an act of kindness is not bad. You buy a cup of coffee for somebody. Help somebody with Christmas gift you know there's steps.

Speaker 4:

Yes, those acts of kindness are necessary to bring the world closer together. But I think also, a lot of times our charity starts really becoming that meaning we're just going to give to you until you're in a better situation. And reality is the research tells us, the work tells us, the history tells us you don't give people out of poverty, right.

Speaker 3:

That just doesn't happen. It doesn't.

Speaker 4:

The truth is, most people don't want that, but they'll accept it. And I say all the time people don't want that, but they'll accept it. And I say all the time you know, I, I, this is a joke. It's true. I was in college, got my first apartment, turned on the tv and I had cable. I didn't sign up for cable, it was just on. So for my entire first semester in that apartment I had free cable and you loved it. I loved it I had all the channels right all the channels.

Speaker 4:

I watched it all and channels I shouldn't have channels. I did one went home for christmas, came back, turned on tv, cables off and you're like, oh yeah but I took it a step further.

Speaker 4:

Right, somebody was getting something for free. I called the cable company and I literally said hey, uh, I just gotta tell you my cable's off. I was wondering if you need to send out a technician or get this fixed. And they they said what's your account number? And I literally said I don't have an account. But I had cable, yes, and I need to get that back.

Speaker 3:

Yes, and you're over like thinking it's okay just to call the cable company and tell them that how dare you take my cable? That's right.

Speaker 4:

It created a sense of dependency or an expectation and entitlement that I had earned A victim mentality. Yes, and you heard where I grew up. My dad would have been mortified for me saying I need free cable. But I got really used to it.

Speaker 3:

That applies to everyone. I was just about to say it. I hate to say this, but this is true. There's not many people that would get free cable and pick up the phone and say oh well, you know what Cable's on my TV, but I didn't pay you, so turn it off. You know that's not going to happen. You're giving it to me.

Speaker 4:

I want to keep it.

Speaker 3:

And a lot of people will not admit that, but we all would have taken the free cable Absolutely. You know, what I'm saying We'd be like winner.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

Winner winner chicken dinner. You know, but the thing with that is we grow. We grow hopefully into knowing, okay, we shouldn't. It was great what happened, but now we need to pay for it. But there's a lot of times that people can get caught up in getting.

Speaker 4:

Yeah, that's the foundation of toxic charity, right? If you create a situation that enables people to become dependent on subsidies or entitled or expecting some type of support, now your charity has become toxic, it's actually become part of the problem, and I think in America in particular, we have gotten into that cycle where we create a lot of charity that creates a lot of dependency.

Speaker 4:

And therefore, you're going to have this perpetual cycle of poverty, because that is not going to uplift or encourage. It really serves to tear down dignity of individuals and now expect the system to take care of them, even though they probably originally didn't start that way. It doesn't take long.

Speaker 3:

When you get things free all your life, you, you find a way to keep getting it free.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

And I do agree with that. I think the best thing you can do is I'm not saying because I'm a giver. You know, my grandfather told me there's two types of people in the world, there's givers and there's takers. And you got to figure out which one you want to be. But I will say, on giving, you have to get to a point of. You know, this was a stepping stone.

Speaker 4:

Absolutely.

Speaker 3:

But this is not supposed to be a forever thing.

Speaker 3:

A hand up right, yes, and a lot of people like to stay in a victim state and I learned that probably about five, six years ago. I realized in certain situations, being a victim will bring you more attention than being an overachiever or an achiever. Than being an overachiever or an achiever and a lot because think about it, matt in the world is that when you hear something negative, okay on social media it'll have a thousand likes, loves. But if you see somebody graduating from University of Tennessee, to me that is phenomenal. I didn't graduate from University of Tennessee. To me that is phenomenal.

Speaker 3:

Right, I didn't graduate from University of Tennessee, so I wish I would have. But then look at it, you'll see people will like it, but it will not get the attention. That a negative thing and I talk about this on my social media. I'm like a lot of people don't realize they're part of the problem because we sit and say, oh well, you need to be positive and you need to be da-da-da-da-da, but are you the one that makes the negative post trend more than the positive post?

Speaker 4:

Yeah, that's absolutely. And what is that old saying Newspapers used to say if it bleeds, it leads, I think.

Speaker 3:

And what they were saying is oh no, no. You remember when they used to say is all press is good press?

Speaker 4:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

No.

Speaker 4:

It's good for maybe the newspaper right or?

Speaker 3:

maybe the yeah All press is not good press. And so you have to realize that I will help people, but I try my best. I pray to God that I will help people, but I try my best. I pray to God that I will enable people. I had a psychiatrist to tell me cut my checkbook off for 30 days and you'll get to see people in your life, people that you think is really there for you. The day that you cut your checkbook off, I let her control it for 30 days to prove it to myself. I'm like and one girl got mad at me over a dog because I wasn't giving her money for a dog. It just it's unbelievable how people get enabled.

Speaker 4:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

And they accept it, and you keep doing it and you have to stop Right Because you become opportunity.

Speaker 4:

Yes, you become part of that problem, you do you do Now?

Speaker 3:

I was part of that problem.

Speaker 4:

I'll say Go ahead. Acts of kindness are good. It is Encouraging people, lifting people up, getting them through a tough experience. All that's positive.

Speaker 3:

So I don't want any of your listeners to say we're bashing all charity. No, they already hear me say it already. You have to give opportunity.

Speaker 4:

Yes, that's it.

Speaker 3:

But, you have to. My favorite scripture in the Bible is faith without works is dead. You got to have faith and you got to do the work. So it's no different, is that? Okay, a charity can help you, but you've got to help yourself.

Speaker 4:

That's it, that's it.

Speaker 3:

You nailed it. A charity can help.

Speaker 4:

Yep.

Speaker 3:

In life you really have to realize that you have to help yourself along the way. Realize that you have to help yourself along the way, no matter what charity has been so great to you know. Help you out of a bind. It's not their job to keep you out of the bind. You have to realize that you have to work every day to improve and to make sure that you're doing your part of your life. The organization cannot be your last resort. All the time you have to work to be better.

Speaker 4:

Yeah, the myth of Sisyphus.

Speaker 3:

right, you got to push the rock up the hill you have to push the rock up the hill and you have to say, okay, I'm here now, I don't want to come back here, that's right, that's right.

Speaker 3:

You know, I may not have my utilities on and this charity helped me to get my utilities on, but it's my job to get up every day to go to work, to make the money to pay my utilities. So I don't have to go back to this charity or any other charity to get my utilities on, because that's really not their debt and I'm just using that for an example. Okay, it's just. You can't charities have to help so many different people. So you have to realize if they helped you right now, let there be room to help someone else.

Speaker 2:

Yep.

Speaker 3:

I think that's the biggest thing is is that people get so selfish and entitled they don't think about there's other people that need help just like them.

Speaker 4:

Do you agree with that? Absolutely, absolutely.

Speaker 3:

So what would you tell the next person you know in the transition of doing charity work If somebody says you know what, I want to go and do a different type of charity work, but they just don't know what?

Speaker 4:

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3:

On that purpose thing.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

What would you say? What is the blueprint? Yeah, that's really actually it is a hard class.

Speaker 4:

I'm just gonna say, but you know it goes back to we all have. There's a passion in our heart. You know some people like I. I knew this woman who ran a domestic violence shelter. I got to know her really well. She was so dedicated to the women in the shelter and we went out to lunch and I was having a conversation with her and she said you know, I was a victim of domestic violence.

Speaker 4:

And I said I didn't know that, I'm sorry and she goes. I have taken that experience and made it my passion to help other women that are in the situation that I used to be in, and I thought that is an incredible way, as you described, and you do this really well.

Speaker 4:

Taking a negative and turning it into a positive, because we know people that have trauma in their lives a lot of time that turns them in the other direction, and for her in particular to move that in a positive direction. So I would just say to anybody really pay attention to what fills your bucket, right? What is getting you out of bed? When you see an article you're like I want to read this, or something that just gets you supercharged.

Speaker 4:

Pay attention to that it doesn't mean that you have to work exactly in that, but if you can stay in that space, especially in the nonprofit world, because the nonprofit world is not a nine to five job in the nonprofit world, because the nonprofit world is not a nine to five job, never will be. It's a. I wake up, I'm thinking about it, I go to bed thinking about it in the middle of the night.

Speaker 3:

When I wake up, I'm thinking about it.

Speaker 4:

There's always somebody that needs to be helped Absolutely, and so it should be something that really fills your bucket, that gives you energy and that's how you discover your purpose. Absolutely.

Speaker 3:

That's you. You have to work and you have to experience things and along the way you discover what your purpose is Right and that can evolve, and that can evolve. Oh, yes, it can.

Speaker 2:

You got to listen to it.

Speaker 3:

So how do you prioritize health wellness while leading an organization?

Speaker 4:

You know it's easier now that I have a locker room across the hall from my office and a gym upstairs. I'm really passionate about that. I'm a big runner, but you know that's one of those hard things. But if I want to be at my best, at whatever being a parent, being a husband, being an employee I've got to start with self-care. Right. And that old saying about you know the plane's going down and it always tells you to put your mask on first.

Speaker 3:

Yes.

Speaker 4:

Because you can't help somebody else if you're suffering from the symptoms of whatever's going on. And so it's really hard, because I think what a lot of people do is they want to avoid the trauma, the mental health challenges, the negative experience, whatever it is, and we just plow forward.

Speaker 3:

Yes.

Speaker 4:

I am a living testament That'll catch up Sooner or later.

Speaker 3:

It will.

Speaker 4:

It catches up, it's better to say, okay, what do I do to make myself healthy? And for me, running, health and fitness, longevity are all a part of my walk. Longevity are all a part of my walk. You know I love to experiment with, with healthy initiatives that benefit me and my family. For somebody else it might be reading and learning, and you know, whatever it is in your life and we intuitively know it like. More often than not we can say I shouldn't drink that much diet coke, I'm not judging you.

Speaker 3:

I'm in your camp. I love that. I love diet coke. Trying to be better, right, or you know somebody that says I had to drink that much Diet Coke. I'm not judging you, I'm in your camp.

Speaker 4:

I love Diet Coke too. I've been trying to be better, right or somebody that says I had to quit smoking or I got to get to bed earlier and get better night's sleep. We all know intuitively those things. The hard part is to say you know what. I'm putting the phone down tonight.

Speaker 3:

I'm going to bed at 9.30. And I'm going to make myself that's going to be your vodka tonight. Yeah, and I'm going to make myself that's going to be Ivanka tonight.

Speaker 4:

Yeah, I don't have a problem with that one, but and I think that's it is that we just got to prioritize now. It doesn't mean we put ourselves above other people right it just means we put the mask on first.

Speaker 3:

but if you think about it in the order of what God said, god said it's him, then yourself, and I think the reason why I think that God did that is to say when you're full and you're confident in you, you can do so much more for other people, but when you have low self-esteem you have no power of anything of you. I think you can do less for people.

Speaker 4:

It's compounding interest right, exactly.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, it's multiples Yep. So the YMCA.

Speaker 4:

Yes.

Speaker 3:

What is your movement?

Speaker 4:

Our movement, you know social connectedness, support of families, health and wellness. You know I have a dream of changing. This is my big dream. We have zip codes in Knoxville where the life expectancy is 10 years less than another zip code in Knoxville. Really, yes, and you know what contributes to that. It's complex, right, lots of things Healthy choices for food, food, health and wellness opportunities, academic supports, family connectedness all of that is played I. You know. If I were to point to one thing, what is our ymca movement is, we are going to change the life expectancy of the people knoxville. I really want to see people living.

Speaker 4:

say it again I want to change and amplify the life expectancy of the people in Knoxville, and not just the life expectancy but the type of life we live during that life, so that it's not the last 10 years of my life. I can't get up, I can't bend over, I can't walk very well. I want people to be in their 80s and 90s and out walking the neighborhood spending time lifting up their grandchildren People are living longer and thriving.

Speaker 3:

You know, I see 70, 80-year-olds moving better than me.

Speaker 4:

That's true. I see them at the Y every day.

Speaker 3:

Okay, so let's be clear. So I think that if you put that time in your health and wellness and being in your community and engaging with people, I think that that's what helps you to live longer.

Speaker 4:

I agree, I agree it's all part of the puzzle.

Speaker 3:

So my last question.

Speaker 4:

Yeah.

Speaker 3:

What, outside of YMCA? What fulfills Matt Ryerson the most?

Speaker 4:

what fulfills Matt Ryerson the most? Two things jump out at me. I love watching my wife in her element, and that can be anything but for her. Right now, when I see her connecting with people playing a hostess, it just I just get lifted up. The second thing, that is, I don't doubt that and he should be very proud. The second part of that and I know you know this as well is when your kids succeed. There is nothing greater. There's no greater heartbreak. When your kids struggle Now that's a part of life.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, but when they succeed.

Speaker 4:

It is the greatest thing, and I have such great children right now, and all of them, at some level, are succeeding, and so that's what really brings me joy.

Speaker 3:

Adrienne does a lot of great things, but I'll tell you something recently that Adrienne did that stuck out so far to me. She just accepted a seat on the board of CASA. Oh wow, that's a great nonprofit. I said, and when the ask came for her to go on that board, I tried my best to not say go, go, go, go, go go.

Speaker 3:

But it was like when she talked to me I tried to stay you know, but when they announced it yesterday, I sat down at the Capitol and everything that was going on. The moment that I saw that I was like yes and it was not a pat on my back, it was that she's succeeding in her own way. And I mean to go in nonprofit and sit on a board and you know you're going to make a difference. That's bonkers to me, yeah especially in nonprofit. Yes.

Speaker 4:

Protecting vulnerable kids.

Speaker 3:

Yes, and so I get what you're saying about when you see your kids succeed.

Speaker 4:

Nothing better.

Speaker 3:

Nothing better? Yeah Well, you can come back anytime.

Speaker 4:

I would love it.

Speaker 3:

This is always fun, I want y'all to know that Matt Ryerson will be back. The door is always open. If y'all have a mission or something that you want to get out there, I want y'all to know Matt Ryerson can always come to the roundtable Tune in every Friday to Talkin' Tennessee with Yvonca. Bye, guys.

Speaker 1:

Thanks for listening to Talkin' Tennessee with Yvonca. Watch out for our weekly episodes from the First Family of Real Estate and check us out on the web wwwyvoncasalesrealestatecom. See our videos on Yvonca's YouTube channel or find us on Facebook under. Yvonca Landis and Twitter at Yvonca Landis. And don't forget to tell a friend about us. Until next time. Yvonca signing off.