Dating For A Draft Pick? The Dangerous Advice Going Viral

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:06

Welcome back to Ask Velvet Podcast. Today we're talking about something that's been going viral all over social media. And honestly, when I read it, I just sat there shaking my head. There's this post where a young woman is basically being coached by her sister on how to secure a college athlete. And when I say coached, I mean coached like this is some kind of life strategy. The advice was wild. She's telling her to cook for him, clean for him, do his laundry, bring him food, even do his homework if she has to. Then it got even crazier, talking about throat spray, making sure she satisfies him, and basically teaching her to make her entire existence revolve around keeping this man happy. And the biggest part of it all, the sister kept saying, don't worry if he cheats, because when he gets drafted to the NFL or NBA, you're gonna be a millionaire. And I'm sitting there thinking this is what we're encouraging young women to do instead of telling her to focus on her degree, her future, her career, her independence. We're telling her to build her life around the possibility of a man making it to the NFL or NBA. A possibility, not even a guarantee. Because let's be real for a second. There are thousands of college athletes. Not all of them make it to the league. And even if he does, what makes anybody think he's guaranteed to stay with her once money, fame, and attention come into the picture? That's the conversation I want to have today. What really bothered me about this whole thing is how transactional it sounded. It wasn't about love, it wasn't about partnership, it wasn't about building together. It sounded like a business investment. Like put up with everything now, sacrifice yourself now, accept cheating now, and later you'll cash out. But what happens if you don't? What happens if you give years of your life to somebody taking care of them, making them your entire world, and then the second they make it big, they move on. Because we've seen that happen before. We've seen women stand beside athletes, entertainers, and celebrities while they were broke, only for those men to level up and decide they want somebody else. And another thing that stood out to me was the racial part of it. The post basically said he's always gonna be attracted to black women, but then implied that she needed to perform and compete to keep him. And I'm sorry, but that is such a toxic mindset. Why should anybody have to turn themselves into a full time servant just to keep a man interested? Why should a woman feel like she has to outwork other women for love? A relationship built on fear and competition is already unstable. If you have to constantly worry that somebody's gonna leave you the second they get successful, then what are you really holding on to? And let's talk about the dangerous message this sends to young girls. Imagine being told your best life plan is attaching yourself to a college athlete instead of building your own future. That is scary because degrees last, skills last, but depending on another person's success, that can disappear overnight. And honestly, the saddest part is how normalized this mentality has become online. Social media keeps selling this fantasy that if you find the right athlete or the right rich man, your life is set forever. But nobody talks about the emotional cost. Nobody talks about the humiliation of accepting cheating because you're waiting on a paycheck someday. Nobody talks about how empty that can feel. I'm not saying you can't date an athlete. I'm not saying you can't support your partner. But there's a huge difference between supporting someone you love and completely losing yourself trying to secure a lifestyle that may never even happen. Because at the end of the day, if your whole relationship is built on what he might become, then what happens if he never becomes it? Or worse, what happens if he does and decides he no longer wants you there? At the end of the day, I just want young women to understand this. Never make somebody else's dream your entire future. Support your partner, love your partner, build with your partner, but don't lose yourself in the process. Don't sacrifice your education, your self-respect, your peace, or your identity chasing the possibility of becoming somebody's trophy wife someday. Because real security comes from what you build for yourself, not from waiting around for somebody else to make it big. And if somebody truly loves you, you should never have to beg for loyalty, compete for respect, or tolerate disrespect just because they might become rich one day. Social media loves to romanticize struggle and submission when there's money attached to it. But real life doesn't always end with a fairy tale ending. Sometimes people give everything they have to somebody and still get left behind. So instead of teaching young women how to secure a man, maybe we should start teaching them how to secure themselves. And with that being said, thank y'all for listening, and I'll catch y'all in the next episode.