Mongo is Appalled
A podcast covering all novels of Dungeon Crawler Carl. Discussing outlandish ideas and ridiculous notions that no one should have to endure. For those of you that have read all the current books and are just waiting for the next one, this is your respite until the next book for Dungeon Crawler Carl comes along. WARNING: This podcast contains definite spoilers and preposterous ideas that may make your brain melt. Listen responsibly.
Mongo is Appalled
Samantha or getting ahead
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Mike and Corbett get up to speed on Samantha (or Psamathe), covering all the funny bits and bobs that you may already know. They also come up with a couple different theories that you may not. Either way, it is something to listen to while you are waiting on the next book, so buckle up!
Welcome to Mongo is Appalled. I am so excited for the show. I am Corbett, and uh I'm really not appalled. Today I am very much not appalled. Mike, how about you?
SPEAKER_01I kill your mother.
SPEAKER_03Which is kind of appalling, depending on, you know, how close you are with your mother. So.
SPEAKER_00That's right. We're talking about Samantha or Samathe. Everybody's who follow Greek mythology.
SPEAKER_03Favorite floating half-elf, half-niad sex doll head.
SPEAKER_00Like, we don't all have one.
SPEAKER_03At least one. From the moment she was introduced. I'm like, this is an awesome, funny character. I like this.
SPEAKER_00I didn't realize she was going to be an actual character until the next book.
SPEAKER_03Well, yeah, until she started just hanging around with people. Just like, oh, okay, she's she's part of the team now. She's this is pretty cool.
SPEAKER_00And also in the very next book, she evolved like crazy.
SPEAKER_03Oh, yeah, power-wise, she's no longer just awkwardly rolling her head anymore.
SPEAKER_00Well, she was basically a soccer ball that could be thrown for miles. That was her whole job in the fourth book.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Carl had that thing on his hand.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I'm blanking on the name of it, but the little thing.
SPEAKER_00The Chistera.
SPEAKER_03Chistera, that's it. Come on to say canasta. It's the Florin, Mike. It's the Florin. Sling that off and throw the head at whatever. Get a report or an attack or whatever. But because she's an invulnerable head.
SPEAKER_00But she is.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. She gets burned almost to a crisp, but then, like, you know, next chapter. Oh, she's fine now. What?
SPEAKER_00Throw in the dishwasher, she'll be okay.
SPEAKER_03No, you know, you you only put the sex doll heads on the upper rack, or you'll get melting.
SPEAKER_00I'm glad you have priorities. Exactly. Very, very important. Oh, I should probably mention, for those who don't know, we're talking about a book called Dungeon Crawler Curl, a series of books, actually. And if you haven't read them, what are you doing here?
SPEAKER_03Then this opening must be even weirder to you.
SPEAKER_00I thought this was a sex doll head commentary.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Talk about the the capabilities of sex doll heads.
SPEAKER_00It's a thing. Samantha or Samith. Now I should point this out because I don't think you know this, Mike, but her the name is P-S-A-M-A-T-H-E. Oh, no, I thought it was It's a part of a Greek myth, I think, that they're stealing it from, but it's also one of the moons of Neptune. For those of you who love astrology. Or astronomy? Eh, one of those star thingies.
SPEAKER_03Astrology, you're still thinking fantasy wargaming.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, probably so. Yep. But she was originally a sex doll, but she wasn't a Samith sex doll head. She was a uh oh, I want to say, hold on, let me look it up real quick.
SPEAKER_03Oh, that the that mythological.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, she was another, she was pretending to be another goddess.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Sorry, I have to look this one up because I really don't remember.
SPEAKER_03I don't either.
SPEAKER_00It's like Zaith or Zaoth or Zamath. Zingobobby.
SPEAKER_03M-O-U-S-E.
SPEAKER_00Uh no. This is the importance of researching before you just start yakking away. Yarlo? He summons Samith who pretended to be Yarlo. Right. But that wasn't the name of the the god that she or the the doll, because the doll was of another god. I think it's so confusing.
SPEAKER_03Mythological heroine of some kind or something, an adventurous.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. But anyway. So she was pretending to be somebody who pretended to be somebody else to convince a wizard to marry her daughter who's a pile of dirt. Who's basically a sand oze. Basically. Just like any story you've ever heard.
SPEAKER_03You know, it's an off-told tale. Man falls in love with sex doll. Sex doll manipulates man to marry her daughter, who is a sanduse, then use use the married couple to try to get her body back. We've all heard it before, over and over again.
SPEAKER_00Now, if I remember right, and I could be wrong about this, it might be the fourth, no, the fifth book when Carl gets his back patch, but I think it was the fourth book when he got his back patch. The scavenger's daughter. Scavenger's daughter. We don't really realize until the end of the seventh book. Spoilers, by the way, again with the whole reading the books thing, just look into them.
SPEAKER_03We presume everyone has already read the books.
SPEAKER_00If you haven't, just enjoy it, because you're gonna enjoy it anyway. Yeah. I could tell you right now, knowing all this would not make me not like the books.
SPEAKER_03I've read it repeatedly, and it's like I know it's gonna happen, but it's okay.
SPEAKER_00It is fun, yeah. So much fun. Actually, I think think back to the fourth book. I think the fight with the goose was the most ridiculous one. But still funny to go through.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. And scary. The boss monster was the goose.
SPEAKER_00It's the lemonade. That's the secret. Oh, you bastards.
SPEAKER_03Instead, they just stuck the goose head in the garbage disposal and ran it.
SPEAKER_00That's a spoiler. Anyway, scavengers' daughters, or the patch on the back of Carl's vest, is the scavenger's daughter, which gives him special powers every so often, and when a god appears, he gets certain.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, he starts gathering energy, which implies that the scavenger's daughter seems to be, if not an antithesis of gods, definitely has some reaper-like quality, you might say.
SPEAKER_00Funny you should say, Mike, because I have an idea. Uh-oh. Let's hear it. This actually ties back in with our last show about Juice Box. Because if you remember this, and we didn't mention this in the show, but that's been weeks ago, so forget it.
SPEAKER_03What was Florence's name again?
SPEAKER_00No. Crocodile Guy?
SPEAKER_03Crocodile Guy, yes. Australian, African, Latin American crocodile guy.
SPEAKER_00If you remember right, in the meeting with all the other warlords, juice box loses it and turns into the unwashed. But you know what it is. For those who haven't read, let me spoil this for you. It's a terrible monster that scares the living hell out of everybody who sees it to the core. Like you're genetically knowing it's bad.
SPEAKER_03Sort of a elder goddy type thing.
SPEAKER_00Now, here's some basic rules to know about Juice Box. She is a doppelganger and they can therefore become whatever. Or no, she's a mimic, isn't she? No, she's a doppelganger. Changeling, thank you. Yeah. She's a changeling and can turn into anything, anything that she's touched.
SPEAKER_03So that begs the question.
SPEAKER_00Right. Now the question is, well, she must have touched something in the nothing, or the the uh sorry, I should also point out the unwashed is also the parable that goes back to Krack Karen. So if you've even read the first book, you know what Krack Karen is. But it's the galactic drug lord for the the cosmos.
SPEAKER_03Also s ostensibly supposed to be a mocking of the Apocathery. Yeah, the Apocrypher facts. I don't know. Work it out, Mike. You can do it.
SPEAKER_00That's what you do when you drink liquor first thing in the morning.
SPEAKER_03I don't have a problem. They will not break me because I am numb. Anyway.
SPEAKER_00But she has not specifically gone into the nothing yet until the end of the seventh floor. So she couldn't have touched the nothing or the crackurin or um the unwashed. No, no, I'm getting there. Okay, okay. I'm leading it. Alright, alright. Because let's go back to Samantha. We don't know what she is because specifically, Juice Box says, I know who and what you are. I can help you. We know that Juice Box can see somebody to their core being. And we also know that Samantha is nuts. I mean, to put it nicely, really nuts. So I have a theory that she's actually the unwashed inside the head. Now, granted, she's yeah, a mannequin sex doll head.
SPEAKER_03I hope that's not the case. Why not? Because she's fun, and these unwashed seem to be malicious murdery monsters. A la HP Lovecraft.
SPEAKER_00It's a malicious unwashed murdery monster. Oh, well, that makes it perfectly acceptable. It's not a bunch of them, it's just one. But she's obviously a a goddess of death in some way, I think.
SPEAKER_03Unless she is the scavenger.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, well, that that's where it gets tricky. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Anyway, okay, go with your theory. Juice box, and we're hate to jump back to juice box again, but can turn into anything she's touched. Absolutely. But after being made aware of what she is, she remembers her prior lives in prior games.
SPEAKER_00Okay, okay.
SPEAKER_03So what if she touched an unwash in a prior incarnation? And because she couldn't remember beforehand, she couldn't have done it. But now that she was made aware of being an NPC and opening up her prior memories, does that give her more things to turn into? Possibly.
SPEAKER_00I don't discount that only because in the game they say that they made it a rule. They're not allowed to make this character because it's so scary. But they didn't say when they made that a rule. Right. And you know she's been through it several cycles. In fact, more so they said, I think in one of the things they said that she's been recycled more times than any NPC should be allowed to be recycled. Which I didn't know there was a limit. Me neither. Well, I know that the uh oh, the train conductor and firebrandy both realized their past lives, at least a little bit. A little bit before they kind of ended it.
SPEAKER_03But so maybe she's a lot of fun. I don't know how I feel about her actually getting a body.
SPEAKER_00I thought it was really nice that Carl said she was brave for giving up the body that he had.
SPEAKER_03Right. And that was to save Louie, and that's pretty cool. On the other hand, if she ever does get her body, you know, in a way her completion is over. It would be tough not to become less interesting as a character once that's complete. I guess depending on what the body is actually.
SPEAKER_00Well, she could get thrown into some other weird construct just so she'd be able to move around and do stuff. I could see that or get like a robotic body attached to her head, kind of like Jamal.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, Jamal.
SPEAKER_03And yeah, I know you mentioned earlier about Jamal and the the muscle thing, and I was like, yeah, but it's funnier this way.
SPEAKER_00Oh no, it's way funnier. I just somebody somebody in one of the forums like keep everybody up with the other things you're supposed to read besides the books.
SPEAKER_03Yes. A lot of forums. If this is the only show you know of about Dudgeon Crawler Carl, glad to have you here, but look around, there's more of them. Especially YouTube stuff.
SPEAKER_00No, I don't know, but no, somebody had mentioned that in the swirl of tattoos when Signet dies, well, allegedly dies. We don't know for sure. Seems to die. I'll give Mike his hope that he'll have his beloved Signet back one day. But when she does, she releases all the tattoos. There is a shark a hammerhead shark that's one of the tattoos that fights in book two when they free the circus. And it's a hammerhead shark then. So I'm not denying that it's not a hammerhead shark. It's just that in the fifth book, they say it's a hammerhead shark with a muscular humanoid body. And then, of course, all the tattoos disappear when they get sucked down to the ninth floor.
SPEAKER_03Maybe something involved in them ceasing to be tattoos and being actual people.
SPEAKER_00Possibly. But see, they also were all down on the ninth floor the whole time that Carl was going through everything else. Yeah. Anything could have happened to Jamal, and he could have been converted to a full shark or something like that, or cursed to be, or who knows what. And honestly, Jamal's hilarious, that's fine. Yeah. So nobody upset. Do you think Summaith's daughter is still alive? Oh, she's absolutely still alive. Because the war mages needed her. Why? I don't know.
SPEAKER_03That is a scavenger's daughter. Mm-hmm. Is it something similar to whatever Carl's getting from that patch?
SPEAKER_00Or what what was the Miss Miss Gazi? Is that her name? I think that was her name. Everybody, I noticed everybody in the forum calls her Miss Gazi. Gazi was the name of the uh the wizard from the fourth book who was married to her. That's why they keep calling her that. Like, why do they call her that? I thought it didn't know she had a name. It was just Samantha's daughter.
SPEAKER_03Well, I guess that's easier to type than Samantha's daughter.
SPEAKER_00The artist formerly known as Samantha's daughter.
SPEAKER_03The sandpile. Although it would be funny if they run into her again and she's no longer the sanduse. She's now in this incredibly wonderful body or something, and Samith just loses it because she's still stuck as a head. We've learned Samanthe has issues with her own mother. Yeah. While she realizes she treated her daughter badly, finally, and one wonders if this is kind of the path Samith is on to become more of a balanced, objective person rather than just a selfish godling that let's face it, most of the gods are assholes. Even before the rich jerks get in control of them, that she'll come out more balanced and hopefully a powerful ally for the crawlers because they accepted her and let her steal their whiskey and and occasionally sexually you know harass them.
SPEAKER_00Extremely. I guess at that point she kind of becomes the stripper mom turned good mom kind of feeling.
SPEAKER_03But is still kind of a stripper?
SPEAKER_00A little bit.
SPEAKER_03A little bit.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_03I don't want her to become like like Miss Pure Light or something. No, no, no, that's far less interesting.
SPEAKER_00But you know what? They are heading into the celestial ascension. They're gonna run into more gods, and that's a guarantee, considering like practically every book they run into a god or a demon or both at the same time. And those gods are gonna start having the ability to go, hey Samatha, if you betray Carl, give you that body you're wanting. And that's gonna be tempting for her. And honestly, I hate to say this, Samantha has a problem with impulse control.
SPEAKER_03Indeed, she does. But it'll be interesting to see if that's the case. On the other hand, most of the gods are assholes, so they're gonna know. Yeah, they'll lie to her or manipulate her, and she's bound to know they will.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03She can't trust any of them. In her own her mind, she can't even trust her own mother.
SPEAKER_00I I actually kind of like Empress a little bit. I know he's kind of an a-hole, but uh but he's insane, so you know a little bit. But the thing is, I think it's funny when she goes back and your god's a little bitch.
SPEAKER_01Uh first he asked me some questions, and then he talked about it now. He's crying. Now he's crying everywhere. Hate to say it, Carl, but your god is a little bitch.
SPEAKER_00She is not flattering to any of the gods.
SPEAKER_03No, no. She she's in being virtually indestructible, she can do that.
SPEAKER_00But she was hanging out with the Bedlam Bride for quite a while there. Oh, yeah. With the promise that she would get her body.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Yeah, and she was naive enough to fall very quickly into the meme. That's what she called her, meme.
SPEAKER_01Oh, don't cry meme. We'll we'll get it fixed.
SPEAKER_00Both Carl and Donut are like, uh, step away from her, Samantha.
SPEAKER_01No, no, meme meme. She's fine. She's a little self-conscious. She's a giant, the whole giant spider thing.
SPEAKER_00Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_03Tell her she's attractive, Carl. Build up her self-esteem.
SPEAKER_00Well, you want to be thoughtful.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. She and Donut easily have the best one-liners in the series. Even Carl doesn't come up with as good a line as the two of them do. Well, Carl's the straight man.
SPEAKER_00Yes. There to take the punch from everybody else.
SPEAKER_03Yes. And be clueless when obviously several females are obviously eyeing him up, and he's just a clueless dude. But now I'm worried about Biggs asking for relationship advice from Samae in the last book. The slugette.
SPEAKER_00That's true. I didn't even think about that.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I heard that they're discussing how to get a guy, and she's got a thing for that judge or adjudicator, the one with that's sort of like a pertyon.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03The deer head with the full with everything.
SPEAKER_02And it's just like, yeah, okay, that's just creepy.
SPEAKER_00I am not a prostitute.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, we'll see about that. Ten gold pieces if you lick my tail. Twelve if you go against the grain.
SPEAKER_03Which I have no idea what that means, and I don't want to know. I really don't.
SPEAKER_00Nobody wants to know.
SPEAKER_03I really, really don't.
SPEAKER_00Oh dear. Anyway, so it's that time in the show again when we must remember that we all have our limitations.
SPEAKER_03And they will not break us unless they tell me what a dense the grain means. And that will probably break.
SPEAKER_01That came out sounded way more racist than I intended.