Navigating Love and Singleness: A Journey of Relationship Wisdom with Gil

Embark on a journey with Gil and me as we unravel the tapestry of relationships, defying the conventional push towards marriage and celebrating the choice to thrive in singleness. We delve into the heart of what it means to be in a committed partnership, highlighting the noble pursuit of selfless love and the personal development that flourishes in its soil. The mirror our partners hold up can illuminate the paths we must walk for growth, and we share how the simple acts of coming home or glowing with happiness are telltale signs of relationship health.

Feel the flutter of excitement as we dissect the significance of 'getting butterflies' in your relationship, underscoring that sustaining these feelings is a testament to deliberate care and nurturing. We're candid about the inevitability of conflicts and how they serve as a crucible for personal transformation and deepened commitment. Through our shared anecdotes, we underscore the critical role of active engagement and appreciation, reminding listeners that the dance of love is a choreography of choice and gratitude.

With 35 years of marriage under our belts, Gil and I offer a beacon of guidance in the murky waters of relationship advice. We urge our listeners to seek wisdom from those who have navigated the storms and arrived at the shores of success. Celebrate with us as we reach milestones and continue to support our mission of fortifying the bonds of love and companionship. Tune in, as we draw from a well of experience to empower you with the tools to create and sustain a love that endures.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:04

Welcome to the Rich Relationship Podcast with Gil and Renee, where amazing things happen.

Speaker 2: 0:10

Our goal is to help build, repair and restore healthy relationships, the thriving marriage, because we work at it every single day.

Speaker 1: 0:20

One thing that we were talking about just this afternoon, before we even get together and come together and hang out with you guys for this little brief moment in time, is how jaded the world is and how confused that it seems to be people when they're going through the relationship process, safe from dating, starting out from dating, to when they are in the goal, or aspiring to the goal, of ending up with a person that they want to spend the rest of their life with. And it made me think what is the gauge that you're using to make your decision or determine where you're going to end up with this person? And you think about the dating stage and all the things that go into it. We always talk about it from the standpoint of marriage being the end goal.

Speaker 2: 1:13

And that may not be the end goal for everybody.

Speaker 1: 1:15

No, it's not.

Speaker 2: 1:16

Because marriage? Let me just say this Go ahead. Marriage, while it is beautiful and I love it it is not for everyone. It is beautiful and I love it it is not for everyone. Some people need to stay single because some people are just not called to be married and everyone that is born is not called to be married. Marriage is something you have to make, a decision that you want to be selfless let's say it selfless, and that's not for everybody.

Speaker 2: 1:45

Some people it's nothing wrong with you deciding to be single to live your life serving God and the people in your life. You don't have to be married to do that. So we don't want to ever make you feel as if our whole goal is to help you get married. Our goal is to help you be the best version of yourself in a God-honored relationship with you and God and maybe you and another person. But marriage is not for everyone. So don't feel like if you're single, if you're not married, if you don't want to get married, that's okay. Just know that if that's something you're called to, there's going to be a grace on your life where you don't have to compromise your values, your goals, your dreams and your faith to do that that's not everybody. That's a small percentage of the world.

Speaker 1: 2:29

Even when we think about it from the context, and that's why we're doing this. Even when we come on live, whether it's on this platform or the other platforms, our goal is to help people in their relationships. We've been married 35 years and what we have tried to do is to contribute to you getting better at the relationships that you're in, because we didn't have those examples of what it would be like to be in a marriage. Our main focus is marriage. Now, the things leading up to marriage is some of the principles and the things that we talk about, whether it's on the videos or the podcast and all that stuff are the elements and the work that goes into being in a relationship, because how many of you have heard that marriage is hard, marriage is hard work.

Speaker 1: 3:14

Well, what is that work that you're actually doing? And the work starts with you. It starts with you as the individual, because if you're going to partner in with somebody in life, then you need to bring your A game, bring the best person forward that you can be, and, unfortunately, we have had life experiences that have caused us to have we don't call them weaknesses, we call them growth areas. You have growth areas in your life that you need to be working on, and God will put somebody in your life that will help you in that, if you allow it. Now, if you get to the point where I'm always looking at Renee as this person of an adversary, or someone that is trying to do me wrong, then guess what I'm going to miss the purpose that God put her in my life for, because if that were the case, then you would be squared away right now, and how many of us are.

Speaker 2: 4:10

And it's a journey, and it's a journey of I love. Last week, we had the Jeffersons on our episode and they were talking about how your mate is your mirror, and so I always say that you can always tell when women are being treated well. You can see it in their countenance, you can see it in their smile, and I feel the same with men. You can tell that when men this is how you know a man is being treated well. If he want to come home, let's be quiet for a minute. If he don't want to come home, then you need to ask yourself why. And so, as for a woman, you can tell that a woman's being treated well by her countenance and her smile, just her overall temperament. But for a man, does he want to come home? And so, if they don't want to come home, those are things that we need to be working on.

Speaker 2: 4:57

So we really believe that it's important that we go backwards and talk about dating, and let's talk about what does dating look like, because I believe that dating is not just for singles. Dating is the foundation for what you're going to do as a couple for the rest of your lives. I know that that sounds weird, but guess what? We've been married for 35 years and we still date each other. You have to date.

Speaker 1: 5:30

Think about that when you were going through the dating stage, and even if you're in it right now, you should be excited to be with the person that you're with. Do you get the butterflies, do you get the excitement of knowing that you're going to see them or talk to them or be with them or hang out with them, and when you are with them, do you enjoy the time that you're with them? If it turns to a point to where you're actually trying to think of things to get more excited about or more enjoyable when it comes to your relationship, those are the things that you have to start thinking what am I missing or what is it that I should be actually working on? So, when you have that, those are the things that you want to be focused on and thinking about when it comes to your relationship. When I have that time where I it still gives me butterflies that know that I get to come home to Renee.

Speaker 2: 6:21

I'm excited to come home to Renee. Let's talk about what butterflies are. Go ahead Because we did a video and it's like well, what does it mean if you don't get butterflies? Okay, when you say that, what do you mean? Because people take that and they think it's an emotion, they think that it's a giddiness. What is it when you say you get butterflies?

Speaker 1: 6:40

I think it's a little bit of all that I'm not talking about it. Where it's a little bit of all that you know I'm not talking about it. Where it's this euphoric experience that, where I'm in denial about the status of who I am as an individual, I'm talking about. This is someone that I'm excited to see every single day. There are times, obviously, you go in through your relationship. There are times where you have maybe be in conflict or things like that.

Speaker 2: 7:01

You mean, I'm not perfect. No, no, no no, no, I'm not perfect.

Speaker 1: 7:07

And guess what?

Speaker 2: 7:08

And neither is he.

Speaker 1: 7:09

But when I'm talking about it from the butterfly aspect, I'm talking about the anticipation and the excitement of seeing Renee on a regular basis. Every single morning every single morning we're talking, we got company. Every single morning we get up, we greet each other because, guess what, You've been asleep, I've been asleep and I want to start my day outright. If you don't start your day outright on a positive note, I try to and you do, and when you don't, then guess what? How do you expect the rest of the day to go?

Speaker 2: 7:39

You set the tone.

Speaker 1: 7:40

So when I say I'm excited and I get butterflies, it's more when I'm coming home. I look forward to coming home after a day of being at work in my normal vocation to be her. And when he comes home I'm like hi, baby. And she act like she ain't seen me in a while, like I'm just coming off of a deployment or something. But guess what? That's that same excitement that you have to work at in keeping in your relationship.

Speaker 2: 8:02

And it's a mindset Absolutely, Because you think about. We all went through that long thing. It was like five years or three years, however long it was, and there are so many people who lost, people who didn't make it. So certain things in your life should make you have a greater sense of gratitude and appreciation. So it's a thought, it's a decision you have to make. It's not like it just naturally happens. A lot of the things that we talk to you guys about doing. It's a choice you have to decide. I decide that I am going to be committed to my vows. I decide that I am going to be a warm place for my husband to come to. I decide I'm going to be a safe place for my husband to land. It doesn't just happen. You have to make a decision.

Speaker 1: 8:47

And I think, even before you even get to the point of vows, you have to make conscious choices and decisions that you're going to be committed to this person. If you're in a dating stage, if you're in conflict or you have things that go wrong, that's normal. That's a normal, healthy part of being in a relationship and understanding the dynamics of two individuals coming together to create this one life together. Guess what? That is a recipe that you care. That is an indicator that you care about this person and that. And you have weaknesses and you have areas that you need to grow in.

Speaker 1: 9:19

So, instead of looking at it as something of antagonistic or angry or hostility and all the emotions that go along with it, look at it from a me standpoint, like what is it that I have contributed to this issue or this situation, or what can I do better? If I'm always looking at Renee as far as being the bane of my existence or the problem in our relationship, or the negativity that comes along every time something comes up, if I'm looking at her, the blame thrower, then I'm going to think I'm perfect, or I'm going to think she's the source, or I'm not looking at. What can I do better in the relationship. That's not something that you want to be. That should not be your default. Granted, there are things that your spouse or your significant other are going to do things wrong. We are going to get things wrong, but when you do get things wrong, do you own up to it? Do you accept accountability? Do you own it and then come to the other person and tell them hey, I messed that up, I got that wrong.

Speaker 2: 10:17

This is something that I should be focused on and thinking about. And we got a question and we want to answer it, and the question was what do you do when the other person in the relationship does not want to participate? My question was are you dating or are you married? Because there's two different answers for that question, and so you want to answer that no, go ahead.

Speaker 1: 10:42

You can start Ladies first. Okay.

Speaker 2: 10:43

So I will start off with so. So I asked were they dating when they're married? So let's just say if you are married, I'll take, I'll take that one. If you are married and the other person is not participating, is that a reality? Or is that your perception? Because if the other person and I can say Gil and I have been married for 35 years, we have been dating since we started dating when we were 18. So my example of relationships has been I'm grateful because I've had a great. I'm grateful for the marriage I have, I've been blessed to live.

Speaker 2: 11:22

But I do realize that everyone is not married to someone who is willing to carry their weight and there are people that are in relationships where they are carrying the other person and I can say that that can be exhausting when you are carrying or dragging another adult. So what do you do? You go to them First. You go to the Lord because you want to make sure that it's not that you're overestimating what you're bringing, because there have been times in our marriage where I'm sure Gil carried me and I'm sure I've carried him, but because it's not all the time, it has not, it's never worn me out.

Speaker 2: 12:04

But if you're in a season where you feel like you're doing more than the other person, then you need to kind of ask yourself what am I focusing on? You know, am I tired because maybe I'm doing too much outside of my marriage? Am I tired because maybe I'm focusing too much on what they need to do? So I always say that there always has to be that self-examination when you say, well, is it me, am I really carrying them, or do I think too much of myself? Do I think that I'm doing more?

Speaker 2: 12:34

So a part of it is going to this like, hey, what can I do to make things better? How can I serve you better? Because that's a non-confrontational way to find out where the other person is. It's like, hey, what can I do to serve you better? Because the only person that can tell me that I'm a good wife is Gil, not my friends, not social media and not myself. I can't tell myself I'm a good wife, not social media and not myself. I can't tell myself I'm a good wife. I only know that I'm a good wife because I have gone to the person that I'm a wife to and let him tell me. So that would be what I would say. If you feel that you're carrying the other person if you're married.

Speaker 1: 13:13

I would say, and what came to my mind when we read the question this morning was is your picker broke?

Speaker 2: 13:19

So you're talking about if you're single.

Speaker 1: 13:24

If you're single, is your picker broke. And when I say that, I'm talking about what is it that made you first attracted to this person. What was it that made you start and establish a relationship, whether it's at the very beginning in your dating or you've been together for a little while? What was it that drew you in or made you commit to a relationship with this person? We should always be thinking about and I thought about this and also, when you're dating and when you're starting out, do you know what you're looking for or what you want? I used to have guys that worked for me and I used to always love asking them these questions. I was always a little bit older than them.

Speaker 1: 14:00

What is the purpose of dating? When you think back and you go all the way back, what is the purpose of dating? I believe, and from our foundation and what we believe is dating, is preparation for marriage. Yes, you can go out and have a good time with friends and you can go do common activities and all that, but if you're actually dating someone, this is somebody. You're almost like a job interview, sizing up to saying do I want to invest in, do I want to spend the rest of my life with this person and you're going to be taking stock of those things, those characters, those values, all the attributes that a person has to say am I going to invest, do I want to go all in with this person for the rest of my life? And if you think about it in any terms other than that, I believe you're doing yourself a disservice because you're not taking it serious enough as far as long-term. What is it that you're trying to achieve?

Speaker 2: 14:51

And so I want to say, I want to add something to that. I, like I said in the beginning, I believe that dating is something you're going to do for the rest of your marriage. In the beginning, I believe that dating is something you're going to do for the rest of your marriage, but then I have two parts to that One are you dating like a wife or are you dating like a girlfriend?

Speaker 1: 15:06

And I'm sorry. I'll read the question what is the best advice that you can? And this is probably and the reason I want to read the question, because it kind of goes into what you're getting ready to say what is the best advice that you can give in terms of repairing a relationship that has had problems? Let's start with the first part and go ahead and finish your statement, because it's going to lead to answering that question OK and so, but is that person married?

Speaker 2: 15:30

Are you talking about in marriage or are you dating?

Speaker 1: 15:32

Because I always have to ask that, like getting back to love, which was once in abundance.

Speaker 2: 15:38

But are you married or are you dating and the person in the? But are you married or are you dating and the person in the chat are you dating or are you married? Because, again, when we're talking to someone that's married, there's going to be a different path and there's going to be different expectations and different requirements for someone that is single versus someone that is married. So I'm going to answer that question in there. Then I'll come back to you and answer that. So the dating I believe the dating is something you're going to do for the rest of your life. So, are you dating like a wife? Are you dating like a girlfriend? You don't want to give a boyfriend wife privileges. So if you're dating, dating okay, you're dating. Okay, so, we'll so. So if you're dating, dating Okay, you're dating. Okay, so this would be good, okay.

Speaker 2: 16:20

So if you are dating someone before you date I was talking to a friend of mine. We're talking about this. This is the problem with dating apps you start dating before you even build a rapport. How are you going to date someone? You need to build a rapport. So the first step of dating before you even decide to date there has to be a rapport that's built. You have to talk, you have to get to know each other. So if it's like hi, how are you doing, we're dating? No, it should be hi, how are you doing? Let's get to know each other before we go into dating. So so I think we skip the rapport. Building part of a friendship before you can have dating.

Speaker 1: 17:04

And I would say and just looking at the comments, 17 years together, that's a lot of time invested. And over those timeframes, during those years of being together, how has the investment in each other gone? I think it made me think about once. We were married about seven years I think it was and I had to go on a job. I had to leave home for a period of time and what had happened was I looked at Renee and I had the opportunity to either accept it or decline. It was going to take me away for, let's just say, three, 30 days or three months or something like that. And I asked her. I said you know what? I told her what it was, I told her what the job was and she was like go, didn't even give it a second thought or anything like that. And that kind of leads into my response to the part about being together for a period of time. We had gotten complacent, we had taken on the roles of just being parents just being parents, but also just taking each other for granted.

Speaker 1: 18:04

As I look back on it, we had took each other for granted.

Speaker 2: 18:07

We weren't making daily. We tell our couples investments. You need to make daily investments in your relationship.

Speaker 1: 18:13

And those are the things that we were not doing. That's why we are doing these kinds of lives and things like that that're sharing with you, because you have to get back to what got you to where you are being together for this amount of time. What are those things that you did, what are the things that he did or she did? Those are the things that you have to pay especially extra attention about and keep those things going. Keep those things going, because the minute you stop, or the minute you get lackadaisical or complacent in it, that'll be the very time where you start figuring out wow, what's, something is missing. Well, the thing that is missing is the things that you used to do.

Speaker 2: 18:51

Right, that made your relationship. That made your relationship fresh. I have a question you've been dating for 17 years yeah, that's what it says, but go ahead. Okay, this is me. I'm just going to be transparent as a woman.

Speaker 1: 19:06

Assuming.

Speaker 2: 19:08

I'm a female. Um, so if I'm going to commit myself to someone for that amount of time, what's the end goal? What's their commitment to me? Because I think that sometimes, when you say the love is gone, is it that the love is gone or is it that the commitment that you desire has not been presented.

Speaker 1: 19:32

Yes, raising two children.

Speaker 2: 19:34

Yes, and so have you guys talked about making the commitment of marriage together, and is that a desire for you, and is that a desire for him?

Speaker 1: 19:45

Or if it's a her Right. I don't know if it's a male. I don't know who the person is in the feed.

Speaker 2: 19:50

So do you both desire to have the same level of commitment to each other? Because I think sometimes what happens is we have uncommunicated expectations and we'll say that the love is gone, but really it's that our uncommunicated expectation has not been met and so, therefore, our feelings are following our uncommunicated expectation. So I think it's more important that you ask rather than thinking about the love, because I know for women, we need security, we need commitment, and so we always talk about don't, don't address the symptom. Get to the real root. Do you both together? You don't have to answer this. You can reach out to us on the on separately, but if you both desire marriage and that's not being brought to the table, then it could be that that could be the missing ingredient, and it's not necessarily any of the other things you need to be doing. It's starting with the first thing.

Speaker 1: 20:46

And that kind of leads into, when you're in that stage of dating, having that common path that you're walking on. Are you guys pursuing the same direction? Do you have the same goals. Are you guys pursuing the same direction or going in the same? Do you have the same goals? Do you have the same point of reference?

Speaker 2: 21:08

that you're trying to achieve when it comes to the relationship of saying, hey, I'm dating or we're being, and for you, you just like us being sharing the responsibilities together without the commitment. That can be a problem, and we talk about that. You can have different personalities, you can have different football teams and basketball teams, but you have to have the same faith and you have to have the same end goal for the relationship. Those are the kind of things that you need to be talking about in the beginning stages of getting to know each other, and so that could be something. No matter how long you've been together, you can still always go back to what was my intended plan for this relationship.

Speaker 1: 21:53

What was my goal? That kind of leads into your goal and your aspirations when you first started dating. Was this someone that I wanted to be with, or we were on the same path. But go ahead, I'm reading.

Speaker 2: 22:04

OK, he's reading the question, but I think it's important that we understand that before you date you should have rapport, and I think that, unfortunately, people skip from rapport to dating and then they're like, oh my gosh, we're not even compatible. So there are some things you should know about yourself and you should know about the other person before you decide if you want to date them, because then of course, like we say, dating is preparation for marriage. So before you start dating them, there are certain things you should know about them. So so that getting to know each other, you know, building rapport.

Speaker 1: 22:39

And reading this and I just read it and if there was, this person even chimed in that there were conditions, change from a health perspective, that weren't able to keep doing the same things you were doing. Well, that's the new, unfortunately. We'll be praying for your health. That's something of a newness in your relationship. No, it wasn't like what it was and it's not going to be like it was, because your life and the circumstances of your life have changed and during those changes, it doesn't mean that it's gone. It just means that there are new opportunities and new way of looking at things that you can take hold of and say you know what? This is how we are right now. What can change? And say you know what? This is how we are right now. What can change, what do we have to do differently as a collaborative team to say this is where we're going now and this is where we're at right now?

Speaker 2: 23:24

And I think a part of it is when you think about when we talk about the vows. That's why the vows are important, because it's for better or for worse in sickness and in health. And I think that when you go into a relationship establishing that you know I'm going to be at my top and I'm going to be at my bottom. Are you okay with that? And so, while I don't know, I'm assuming that it could be physical, it could be sexual. That's why we talk about emotional and spiritual intimacy is so much more important than just physical intimacy, because that part of your life is going to change, it's going to shift, your sex drive is going to change, your body is going to change. All of those things are going to change. But you can't just based a relationship just on the physicality of it.

Speaker 1: 24:12

It has to be more to it than just that and just like you're saying there, it's not really about the commitment but the condition of certainty, especially when it does affect your sex life, because those are real conditions, those are real parts of being in a relationship with someone. But what we've learned over the years is we put far so much weight on the physical activity of the sex life and not as much on the physical side or the emotional side and the intimacy side of the relationship. That far outweighs the sexual interaction, even though that is important and it's beautiful and it's wonderful.

Speaker 2: 24:46

but I think that when you don't have intimacy, you have this false sense of lust. It not because the thing I and I could. I'm gonna be honest, we are 56 years old, we are not 21, but do we have an amazing sex life? Do we have an amazing, um intimate life? Yes, we do, because we built on the intimacy and the the physical, the emotional and the spiritual intimacy which makes the sexual intimacy great. Because, unfortunately, we all have a God-side hole in our heart and if we try to fill that with sex or food or money or shopping or kids, it's never going to be enough. But when we fill that space in our heart with God, it puts less of a demand on the other person. Because while making love is beautiful, it is a gift to marriage. I believe it's the mystery to marriage, it's the gift. It's not the only way you can connect. No, you have to be able to connect emotionally and physically and spiritually and psychologically. It's not just a physical thing.

Speaker 1: 25:55

And that's something that I think I would say from a men will maybe be more inclined to struggle with. Because we're so physical by nature, we're more attracted to the physicality of sides of things and the emotional and the intimacy side comes later, you know, as we become more in tune with the person and things like that. It's not something that I even thought about even as we grew in our relationship, where the spiritual side, the emotional side, the intimate side, all those things came so much later from the physical side, and that was something that you can be very instrumental in, just like Renee was with me in helping me to understand that it's not just about the physical aspect of having an amazing sex life and those types of things, it's the other things that go along with it.

Speaker 2: 26:40

Because it's important. I'm speaking as a married woman. For women, married women, sex is all day. It does not start in the bed. It starts in the morning with the phone call and the kiss, and so it's doing all those things Like we talk about. It's what you do every day. It's all those little things that make a big difference, but sometimes people don't talk about that. You know, I always say this and Gil always, he always brushes.

Speaker 2: 27:07

There's things that you have to be willing to do as a couple that keep your relationship, as we say, hot. You know, honest, open and transparent. It can't just be a physical thing, it has to be, and the physical part, like you said, it's important, but if that's the only thing, what happens when you know you have a baby or if you have a health condition, and so those are the kind of things that really put your relationship to the test is not just when everything is going good. I mean, we've gone through so many different stages and we've gone through deployments and we've gone through pregnancy, we've gone through menopause, we've gone through we had the barf and cyst. We've gone through a lot of stuff.

Speaker 1: 27:47

And all that is going to affect the sex drive when it comes to the relationship. And so if that's all you have, then something has to change or something is being neglected in the relationship overall.

Speaker 2: 27:59

And that's why your relationship with God is so important, because if my relationship with Gil is my only source of intimacy, I'm going to wear that brother out.

Speaker 1: 28:11

And it's not physically, it's the same.

Speaker 2: 28:13

It's the same thing with a man. It's the same thing with a man. If your only source of intimacy is your wife, our primary, our first source of intimacy should be with God, Because if not, our appetite will be insatiable. And so I think a lot of times we need to check well, why am I so sexually driven? Why am I so financially? Whatever is driving us? We have to really kind of check and say, well, man, that's kind of out of it's, out of control. And so, am I spending enough time with God? Am I reading? Am I praying? Am I spending? Because if God doesn't fill me, I'm going to expect for Gil to do it.

Speaker 1: 28:51

And that's impossible.

Speaker 2: 28:52

We cannot. We can be a source. I can take what God puts in me and put it into him, but Gil can't be my source and I can't be his source. So we are the recipients that we, our spouses, are where we go to share what God has given us, not where we go to get our source, our identity, our value, our purpose. I don't get that from Gil and I love him, but I get that from the Lord and I share what he put in me, in him.

Speaker 1: 29:19

So we appreciate you guys hanging out with us. With Gil and Renee, we're from the Rich Relationship Refuge. For those who just joining and those who have already been here. We see some people that we're familiar with already. We appreciate you guys coming to hang out with us and just share this brief moment in time that we just like talking about the things that matter most in relationship, because you can scroll through other social media platforms and see some ridiculous things out there that are maybe entertaining and it may keep your attention. But if you're trying to build a long term relationship just on some fictional stuff that you see for a brief moment in time, that's going to be a bad recipe for your relationships and that's what we're trying to do here.

Speaker 2: 29:57

It's just change the narrative. We're trying to have real conversations with real adults about real things that people struggle with in marriage and relationships, because so many times people are talking about stuff and it might be, it might be entertaining. That's nonsense. And he was. He was so annoyed.

Speaker 1: 30:15

You know what I get annoyed, because it was something that popped up chain, like you said, that's nonsense, and he was. Gil was so annoyed. You know what? He was so annoyed Because it was something that popped up and sometimes you have to be aware of what's going on in the social media environment and what people are really talking about these internet streets y'all.

Speaker 1: 30:27

There's some, there's a lot of hurt people out here and there's a lot of people that got. When you have young people who are single and have damaged relationships and have been through a serial dating cycle and then they're trying to give advice to other people about doing the same thing, you may want to be careful. As Renee likes to say, show me your receipts. What are your receipts? What are your receipts? We got 35 years of receipts that we can tell you what it takes to be in a successful relationship. I can tell you what it's like to be divorced and I understand there are people out there who are divorced and there's things that happen and I get all that.

Speaker 1: 31:09

Well, I can't speak to that. We'll bring you on the show and you can talk to it. But we have dated successfully. We haven't been engaged successfully. We have been married successfully. So we can speak to that side of things and the things that we share with you guys here and this, whether it's in this medium or the others. That's what we're trying to invest in your relationships the things that it takes to make them healthy, that it can be restored, that they can be repaired, but it's going to take work on your part. So be careful and be mindful of that, because when you see, that Stop listening to these people who are single and it's angry and bitter trying to give relationship advice but I'm sorry I got sidetracked.

Speaker 1: 31:49

I got sidetracked t. I see you right there. I got sidetracked because this stuff is real, because there are people out there talking about that that have nothing positive to say about it, because hurting people hurt other people and we believe that healed people can heal people. Yeah, I'm trying not to get them. Y'all I'm trying not to get them T.

Speaker 2: 32:12

T we love, you, we love y'all T.

Speaker 1: 32:14

You know this ain't me, I'm just like boy.

Speaker 2: 32:16

No, he was annoyed y'all. Gil was like on fire.

Speaker 1: 32:18

He was like I said, babe, and Like I said, be like, and it was sad because the people are giving advice to younger people and let's just say the age range is between, let's say, 21 and 30. And if you have been a serial dater and you've had struggles with relationships, be mindful about who are you listening to. Who are you going to to get counsel from when it comes to doing something that you want to do? If you're in the natural vocational world and somebody says I can teach you how to get a million dollars and they are a millionaire then you probably are going to listen to them. Yeah.

Speaker 2: 32:55

But on social media we will listen to anybody because they have followers. And that's unfortunate.

Speaker 1: 33:01

Yeah, but so we're telling you the things that we have learned through trial and error that you can avert, or some things that you can invest in and start incorporating into your relationship that will bring you success. We've been doing this for 18 plus years, so I think we know a little bit about it, and we got couples who have gone down the dating phase and all the way to the marriage. So those are the receipts that we're talking about.

Speaker 2: 33:24

Yeah, and we love serving you all. I just want to tell you guys, today we hit 2.8 million views. Y'all are amazing. Yay, give yourself a hand.

Speaker 1: 33:35

And for us, it's not about the numbers, because we got to do this, whether it's two of y'all or one of y'all here, or hundreds, it doesn't matter to us. What we are trying to do is we said in our mission statement for Rich Relationship Refuge is build, repair and restore healthy relationships, that's what we're all about, and that's what we're trying to do and that's why we sitting here.

Speaker 2: 33:55

This is our date.

Speaker 1: 33:56

We're sharing our date night part of our date night with that.

Speaker 2: 33:58

Yeah, but we love you guys and we know that there are so much out there, so many places you can go. We want to continue to provide you know we got the app. I'm working on getting it in the apple apple app store um, it's already in the google um store because we realize that sometimes you may miss a live, you may miss our podcast, but we want to provide you with a daily devotional, a place to assess yourself, because I think you should date you before you date somebody else. That's what the rich um our marriage men, marriage mentors is about helping you to date you, because a lot of the things that you don't realize, that maybe you may be the problem, it might not be the people you're dating, and so that's why we are creating all these ways, because if you have a safe place you can go, you know, you know it's trusted and tested. Then you can keep going back there.

Speaker 2: 34:46

If you have questions, things you want to know, please put it in the chat, put it in the feed. You can send us an email at help at rich relationship refugecom. That is our email help at rich relationship refugecom. If you have questions you want to create um, have a session with us one-on-one. We would love to do that, but we just want to let you guys know that if you are single and seeking marriage and engaged, we want to provide you with a safe place.

Speaker 1: 35:22

Or even for our married couples who are out there. We love our married couples who just like invested in there.

Speaker 2: 35:25

Yeah we're going to always provide that. But I think that people who are single and seeking marriage are really we've done premarital for 18 years and my thing is let's get people when they're dating, because once people are already set a date, it's kind of hard for them to listen to us, yeah, and if they're already married, then and we're grateful for the couples who are married that we serve. We love you all. We love serving you all. You. We're here for that. But we also want to make ourselves available to people who are dating because I believe, prevention is worth an ounce of cure.

Speaker 2: 35:54

So we can get you when you're dating. You don't have to worry about having you as a couple that's divided lives on the verge of divorce so we appreciate you guys hanging out with us.

Speaker 1: 36:02

I know it went crazy fast. I know these times go by real quick, and so we were kind of I was ranting a little bit, we were ranting tonight, but that's okay, we'll have a topic for you guys next week. We'll have something that we want to invest in you. We don't know what it is yet, but we'll have something video.

Speaker 2: 36:20

Leave us comments. Watch more of our long content on YouTube. We create long content because we want to give you more than just 30 seconds or 15 seconds, so we try to make it at least 30 minutes. Now remember, we're stronger together and we love you and you are more than enough so we'll see you guys next Saturday thank you for listening.

Speaker 1: 36:43

Thank you for your investment in time. Remember to subscribe to the show and hit the notification icon to be notified when new episodes are posted on the podcast platform that you're listening from.

Speaker 2: 36:53

Or you can always find us on our website at richrelationshipsuscom, or our YouTube channel, Rich Relationships with Gil Renee. If you found this podcast helpful or you think it could help someone that you know and care about, please pass it along and share it with them.