Speak Better English with Harry | Episode 547

In this episode, you'll learn 12 advanced English idioms for relationships. These are natural English expressions that native speakers use all the time in everyday conversations, personal stories and even arguments. If you're learning English at an upper-intermediate or advanced level, this lesson will help you sound more fluent and confident when you speak.

You’ll learn how to use each idiom in a real context, with clear examples that make them easy to remember. These expressions are useful for IELTS speaking, everyday English, and situations where you want to express yourself more like a native speaker. If your goal is to build your English vocabulary and speak more naturally, this lesson is a great place to start.

Transcript

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Hi there, this is Harry and welcome back to Advanced English Lessons with Harry where we try to help you to get a better understanding of the English language. So this is advanced English. It's advanced idioms about relationships. I'm going to give you them one by one. There's 12 of them in total on my list and for you to practice you should probably look at your own relationships that you've had in the past or those of your friends and you might be able to match those with the particular idioms that we're using. The first one is to get off on the wrong foot. I certainly got off on the wrong foot with my relationship with my beloved wife because I decided to take her to a movie. I thought she would love it. She actually hated it and I think she was thinking, who is this guy? Do I want to go out with him again? So we got off. Oh, I got off on the wrong foot. So when you get off on the wrong foot with somebody, you make a mistake, you misjudge something, and then you wonder why the relationship didn't go any further. So when we get off on the wrong foot, somebody on either side thinks, hmm, not so sure about this guy or this girl. Do I really want to go out with them? So you have to be really, really careful. It's like walking on eggshells. You be very careful until you get to know each other. So to get off on the wrong foot. And for those of you and your friends or family who want one-to-one lessons, well, you know what to do. Just get in touch, www.englishlessonviaskype.com and you can apply for a free trial lesson and we'll be very happy to hear from you and very happy to help you. Second one, to get on someone's nerves. Well, we all do this from time to time. You get on someone's nerves or they get on your nerves. I do it myself. I know you can't believe that. It's very hard to believe, but occasionally I can get on someone's nerves. So you might have a habit. You might do something, click your fingers, drum your fingers, snore, whatever it might be. This can get on the nerves of someone, particularly your partner. So when you get on someone's nerves, it's something that annoys them, something that aggravates them, and they let you know it. Okay, so even though they love you dearly, you can still get on the nerves. Okay, so you got to watch out for those little habits that creep in and you've got to try and nip them in the bud before they get so bad that somebody sort of tells you, oh, this relationship isn't going to last if you can't do something about those terrible habits that you have. To give someone the cold shoulder. Well, when you sit beside the fire, on the left-hand side, your shoulder is warm. And if somebody comes to cuddle up beside you, they get a nice warm feeling. If you give someone the cold shoulder, it means you turn away from them and they don't get any feeling of love or warmth. Usually we give someone the cold shoulder when we are annoyed with them because they forgot something, they didn't do something, they said something that they shouldn't have said. Often they might not realize it, so you have to tell them. But if you're annoyed and frustrated and angry with them, then you might give them the cold shoulder. I don't know what I did to Betty, but I've been getting the cold shoulder now for about a week. Does anybody know what happened? You really need to go and ask her because there's obviously something happened and only she will know what it is. She might have forgotten about it, but she's obviously very sensitive to it because she's continued to give you the cold shoulder for several days. So when someone gives you the cold shoulder, it means they turn away, they block you, or they just refuse to talk to you. On the rocks, and this is not about your favorite whiskey on some ice. No, on the rocks is about relationships that don't go so well. When a ship gets too close to the coast, it can end up on the rocks, which means it's probably going to sink. Okay, so when your relationship is on the rocks, then it's got problems, there's difficulties. Not everything is smooth sailing. Somebody has said something, somebody hasn't done something, somebody hasn't got any respect for the other person. In these situations, relationships often end up on the rocks and there's only one way they're going to go and that's going to go badly. So if a relationship is on the rocks, you've got to try and understand the reasons why. Maybe you need to seek some help, some matrimonial relationship help, whatever it happens to be, you've got to talk so that the relationship, if it's going to continue and succeed, you need to talk. Perhaps it's going to end anyway, because not every relationship will end after 20, 30, 40 years. Some end very, very quickly. So it can be on the rocks and you have to understand the reason why. To go back a long way. Well, this is when we have a relationship or a friendship that goes back deep in our history. You met somebody at primary school or secondary school or whenever it was and you've had friendship with that person for a long, long time. Richard, oh, we go back such a long way. We met first of all in primary school, then we didn't see each other for a while, and we met up again in university. I've known him forever. He's one of my oldest, longest friends. If you need any help, he's going to give it to you. If you want an introduction, I'll introduce you to him. He's a great guy. Yeah, we go back a long way. Okay, so when you have a relationship that lasts a long time, hold on to it because it's really good, it's valuable. And we can say and refer to it as it goes back a long way. Your own flesh and blood. Well, your own flesh and blood refers and relates to your family. Don't argue with your brother, your sister. You're flesh and blood. You're your own flesh and blood. You're the same. You're the same people. Why are you always fighting? Well, of course, siblings and sibling rivalry, it's a big, big problem. Has been forever. Yeah, okay, since man was a boy, as we say. Okay, so when you have that sibling rivalry, of course, there are problems and jealousies. But at the end of the day, you are brothers and sisters, and therefore you should forget about the little problems because you are your own flesh and blood. You're from the same. Your parents are the same. Your aunts and uncles, grandparents, whatever it might be, you're your own flesh and blood. I have a twin brother, and when we were young, we fought all of the time, all of the time. But at the end of the day, we are flesh and blood. Okay, so to what's next? Oh, yes, to hit it off. I almost forgot where it was, to hit it off. Well, when we hit it off with somebody, we get on very early in the relationship. We get on very well, very early in the relationship. Oh, I hit it off immediately. I knew as soon as we met, we were going to be great friends. We've got lots of interests in common. We don't agree on everything. But, you know, when I'm not around him, I miss him. And it's really great to see him, really great to catch up. So we hit it off immediately, meaning we got on really well. Another expression we use there is to get on like a house on fire, which is exactly the same, meaning to hit it off, to have a relationship that started well at the very, very beginning, to hit it off. To give someone a hard time. Well, when you give someone a hard time, you really make them pay for something they said or did or didn't say or didn't do. And you really go overboard a little bit. Oh, don't give him such a hard time. Forgive him. Okay, he made a mistake. Perhaps the flowers weren't the best or, you know, but he's only a student. So don't give him such a hard time. So when we give someone a hard time, we really make them pay for those mistakes. We don't talk to them for several days or weeks. We don't return their texts. We don't send them emails and they get really upset, want to know, what did I do? What did I do? Where did I go wrong? Okay, so don't always, well, sometimes it's appropriate to give somebody a hard time just to remind them about who you are, but don't drag it on or don't drag it out. So to give someone a hard time, make them feel really, really bad for something that they did or didn't do. To meet someone halfway. Well, this is all about compromise. When we have a problem, when we have a difficulty, something that doesn't seem to have a solution, then the best way is to meet someone halfway. Okay, you mightn't like to give a little bit of ground on something. They mightn't like to give a bit of ground either. But you know what? If you don't both walk towards each other and meet each other halfway, the problem is never going to be solved. In most cases in history, solutions are found when people are prepared to meet each other halfway. You take one step, I take one step. You take another step, I take another step, and we meet halfway. So you have an argument with your best friend. You say, come on, let's just make up on this. It's a bit stupid. You got me on a bad day and let's just put it behind us and forget about it and move on. So you meet each other halfway. Countries, when they're negotiating, will try and meet each other halfway. Perhaps it takes a lot of diplomatic workings, but it does happen eventually. So any negotiations that we have, there's always an element of compromise and always a situation when people are prepared to meet each other halfway, then there'll be a successful outcome. If they're not prepared to meet each other halfway, well, it's unlikely that there will be a successful outcome. To treat someone like dirt. Okay, when we treat someone like dirt, we don't treat them very well. We don't treat them with respect. We don't respect who they are. We treat them like something we walk on. Okay, so if you have somebody working for you in your home, perhaps they're there to help you with the cleaning or the washing or the kids, then you should treat them with respect. If you treat them with respect, then you're likely to get a better relationship with them. But if you treat them like dirt and look down your nose on them, well, then of course they'll do the work because you're going to pay them. But that's it. When the problems are there and you really need them, they won't be there to help you. So it's the same way in a job. If you're the boss and you've been promoted above everybody else and you've been very successful in your career, well, treat people with respect because you know what? On the way down, it's much more difficult. So if people are looking at you thinking, okay, yeah, he's the boss. I have to do what he tells me to do, but really, he treats me like dirt. They're not going to be there when you need them. Okay, so treating people like dirt is to treat them badly. Okay, so we should, at the very least, we don't have to like people, but we have to respect them. So don't treat them like dirt. To be on the same wavelength. So when we're on the same wavelength with somebody, we understand them and they understand us. We know what they want. They know what we want. We know what they're trying to say and they know what we are trying to say. Ah, look, I've got it. I know exactly what you mean. We're on the same wavelength. Yeah, we can get this going. We can start next week. So you're looking to do some repairs to your home. You've got the drawings, you've got the specifications. You meet the builders, you sit down, you show them what you want to do. They understand exactly what you want. They understand exactly what freedom they have to do some things. But they also know if they reach a little problem, they've got to call you immediately. Otherwise, the deal is off. So yeah, we're on the same wavelength. Don't worry about it. Any problems, we'll call you straight away. So to be on the same wavelength is to understand each other, to understand each other and know what's acceptable and equally to know what's unacceptable, to be on the same wavelength. And then finally, fighting like cat and dog, to fight like cat and dog. Very, very old expression. It really is about those sibling rivalries again, where the two kids, you know, very close in age, they're a little bit jealous, there's a little bit of envy, and they fight like cat and dog. But at the end of the day, they're the best of pals, okay? So you can have an old married couple married for 60 years. They've been together for forever, yeah? But they fight like cat and dog. He wants this, she wants that. He doesn't want this, she doesn't want that. But underneath it all, there's a respect, a love and kindness there, because there must be if they're together for 60 years. Okay, so to fight like cat and dog, it's like putting a cat into the garden. If there's a dog there, it's not going to end well. The cat is going to have its back up and the hare standing up and the dog is going to growl and bark and chase after the cat. So to fight like cat and dog. All right, so there are expressions, there are idioms, they're advanced idioms, all connected with relationships. And as I said earlier, if you want to check them out, well, do so against relationships that you've had when you've had these situations or relationships that you can see in your friends and family and try to match them. And that way you've got a better chance of understanding how to use them. Let me give them to you one more time. To get off on the wrong foot. To get on someone's nerves. To give someone the cold shoulder. A relationship that is on the rocks. Or a relationship that goes back a long way. Your own flesh and blood. To hit it off. To give someone a hard time. And to meet someone halfway. Treat someone like dirt. To be on the same wavelength. And then finally, to fight like cat and dog. Okay, as always, I really appreciate it when you watch me and you join. And if you need anything, you know where to get me. www.englishlessonviaskype.com. Happy to hear from you. Happy to have your comments. As always, join me again soon.