Working with Our Higher, True Self to Bring Calm, Confidence, & Peace Within

Thanks for joining Lydia, me and our guest this week, Kris Newkirk for a very special holiday podcast about recognizing, connecting to and honoring our Higher Selves and its relationship to Christmas.

Kris has been practicing for over 45 years in counseling and psychology with a specialization in psycho-spiritual crisis, trauma, and women’s empowerment. Most recently, Kris has become a Certified EMDR therapist integrating EMDR with Transpersonal therapies, with a focus on addiction and spirituality.

If you're looking for some inspiration and spiritual guidance this holiday season, please join us as we dive in deep about connecting to our divine selves, spirituality and peace within ourselves.

“You have to grow from the inside out. None can teach you, none can make you spiritual. There is no other teacher but your own soul.” - Swami Vivekananda

May you always be one with your horse,
 Caroline

Transcript

Caroline Beste (1m 4s):
You are listening to Everything Horses & More! Podcast with me, your host, Caroline Best. I'm the founder of my Tao of Horsemanship method, a pioneer in horse training and development, and a true advocate of the horse. I bring an intuitive and educated eye along with an experienced and intelligent perspective to understanding both horse and human nature and behavior. My experience in skillsets are the cornerstone to my worldwide success in training methodology. My experience with horses as intelligent sentient beings is what inspired me to create my highly acclaimed and proven training method. Consensual partnership training for horses and humans.

Caroline Beste (1m 44s):
A model I pioneered in 2008. Consensual partnership training provides a comprehensive and impressive curriculum teaching horse owners how to fully develop their horses using a holistic, empathetic, and natural process. My training system teaches you how to achieve true partnership with horses and without the use of pain, excessive pressure, dominance, force, or coercion. In addition to being a world-class trainer for both horses and people, I'm an artist, author, entrepreneur, speaker, radio show host, licensed working equitation trainer, and riding foundation specialist. I offer one of the largest and most comprehensive online educational platforms, the do of horsemanship, where I host a variety of courses produced and personally taught by me and my amazing school masters.

Caroline Beste (2m 35s):
In addition to sharing what I know in my in-person training and online courses, I invite special guests and students each month to my radio show, everything, horses and More podcast. This platform allows us to engage with all of you and share our very personal and transformational journey with horses. I invite you to listen in and hope you find something that helps inspire you to reach your personal goals and aspirations with your horse. Thank you. And may you always be one with horses.

Caroline Beste (3m 26s):
Welcome back. You all know who I am, Caroline Beste of the Tao of Horsemanship. This is Everything Horses & More! Podcast. You know who my lovely co-host is? Lydia Primavera. Hi Lydia. Hi. And we have back another fabulous guest speaker today, Kris Newkirk. Hi Khris.

Kris N. (3m 45s):
Hi. Hi everybody.

Caroline Beste (3m 48s):
So we are so excited to have Kris join us again. I think this is our third podcast with you, if I'm correct. Second?

Kris N. (3m 58s):
Second.

Caroline Beste (3m 59s):
That's it. Yeah,

Kris N. (4m 1s):
Yeah,

Caroline Beste (4m 1s):
Yeah. Maybe we had an imaginary one together. Something, you know, That is so cool. Maybe, maybe I dreamt it or we're gonna have another one for sure. Oh wow. Well, welcome back. Okay, so today's topic, I cannot wait for this. This is so aligned with, with all of my students and me included, working with our higher chewer self to bring calm confidence and peace within and that's perfect for this time of year. It's such an exciting time of year with the holidays, but it is also equally stressful in many ways. I think statistically you would know more than me cuz this is your line of work with psychology, Kris.

Caroline Beste (4m 46s):
But statistically, wow, this can be a very depressing, stressful, traumatic time. We, we've lost loved ones. A lot of people feel alone or lonely. Ami a, a missed all of this, you know, excitement and joy. Yeah. So, all right, well, I'm gonna go ahead and introduce you for those of you that are not familiar with Kris. Okay. Today we're gonna be recognizing connecting two and honoring our higher selves and it's relationship to Christmas. So this can be pretty cool. Kris has been practicing for over 45 years in counseling in psychology, with a specialization in psychospiritual crisis, trauma in women's empowerment.

Caroline Beste (5m 37s):
Yay. Most. In recently, Kris has become a certified E M D R therapist. We spoke a lot about that in our first interview with you as a guest speaker, what that meant. MDR therapist, integrating M D R with transpersonal therapies with a focus on addiction and spirituality. If you're looking for some inspiration and spiritual guidance this holiday season, I'm so glad you joined us. We'll be diving in deep about connecting to our divine selves spirituality in finding peace. Yay. So welcome and thank you.

Kris N. (6m 15s):
Oh, wow. What a wonderful summation. Good job.

Caroline Beste (6m 21s):
You

Kris N. (6m 24s):
Okay,

Caroline Beste (6m 25s):
You lead the way

Kris N. (6m 28s):
Well, I'm so, so glad to be here today. Thank you for inviting me. First of all, I wanna say this, when you introduce the topic or the possible topic, I thought to myself, how perfect for me of, because when I delve into this, of course what I'm doing is I am taking a, it is a self-evaluation. I'm taking a look at where am I with this, this concept or this reality of the higher self. Okay, so thank you. It was a very, I've been on a travel for the last week as I've looked at what I wanna talk about, I've been traveling.

Kris N. (7m 10s):
So what I wanna talk about first is I wanna talk about all of the different names that we give to the higher self or the true self, and maybe how could we define that in words, which of course is very difficult because this is a spiritual entity. All right? And so words, I don't know about you, but the words fail me. All right? When I start to try to describe it,

Caroline Beste (7m 36s):
Right? Yes. All yes. It's an experience. Yes, it's unique for all of us. Even if we are looking to attain the same kind of experience, the spiritual experience, it's so unique and depends on where we are within ourselves and the experience who we share that with. It's profound. It is profound,

Kris N. (7m 59s):
Very profound and very difficult to def define because it is an experience. But for the nature of moving on, what we'll do is we'll try to do some used words to define this entity we call the higher self or the true self. So what other names can we use? I'm gonna start with something that tole says. Okay. He says, you are the alertness, the stillness, the presence that is listening, looking, touching, even speaking.

Kris N. (8m 40s):
So you are the alertness. You are the being behind the doing. You are that

Caroline Beste (8m 49s):
Beautiful.

Kris N. (8m 51s):
Yeah. Behind the

Caroline Beste (8m 52s):
Beautifully.

Kris N. (8m 54s):
Yeah, I really like that. And then there's consciousness, or the awakened one, we call the true self, the awakened one. Then there are those who call it the Christ within or the Christ self. Those who call it the Buddha within or the Buddha self. Yes. Then there's the divine one, which I just heard you say, okay, this is the divine one. The true self, the higher self, it's the divine one. Then there's the wise one, then there's the witness.

Kris N. (9m 35s):
And I particularly like that because that helps me to step back in to who it is I actually am when I'm witnessing what's going on. And the external, the watcher, the big self with Big S versus the little self. And we'll get into that a little bit today. Higher intelligence is one way people describe it, but what would describe it, what remains in this entity is the light of consciousness and which perceptions, experiences, thoughts, and in feelings come and go.

Kris N. (10m 23s):
They just come and go. And that is the bean. That is the deeper true eye. And we sense this when we do certain practices. Right? And now one of the things that I find for me is that sometimes in experiencing this higher self, when I'm in that kind of awareness and alertness, it's easier to define it by what it isn't. I know when I'm an ego, I'm sure you've had that experience. The difference between being an ego, an egoic consciousness is what we call that versus a,

Caroline Beste (11m 9s):
Can you give us some examples of, of the ego so that we, I know we all know what that is, and we're in the ego more than we're not. But please let us know what, how you define that.

Kris N. (11m 23s):
Well, in 12 step philosophy, what we call it, easing God out, the ego thinks it's separate from a higher self, separate from a spiritual loving presence, separate. And it's a, how do I say this? The behavior of the ego. You can notice it. Okay. Because the hitting force between be behind it is always the same. So when I think of my ego, it's the need to stand out, be special, be in control of things, need for power, for attention, for more and more and more and more and more.

Kris N. (12m 14s):
You can never get enough because it's views itself as separate. And the interesting thing about the ego is it always needs enemies. It always needs an enemy. So we see ourselves as separate from people where we're all one, of course, but we see ourselves as separate entities. And it's the eagle that sees itself as separate. So it's always, here's the biggest key. It always, always, always is fear-based.

Caroline Beste (12m 48s):
Yes.

Kris N. (12m 49s):
Right?

Caroline Beste (12m 51s):
Yes.

Kris N. (12m 53s):
So my higher self course, my higher consciousness, my true self, however you wanna divine define that or say that alright, is perfectly calm and perfectly connected to whatever it is you believe in, in terms of a higher power, right? In that energy, yes.

Caroline Beste (13m 17s):
Through

Kris N. (13m 17s):
You. Right? And I'm assuming with horses, I'll take a little trajectory here, that what you are doing with horses is you are allowing that energy to move through your true truest self into the healing practices between you and your horse. Is that true?

Caroline Beste (13m 39s):
Yes. Yes. It is a, it is truly a dev, a divine experience that I, I want all of my students to feel because it, when you get to that place, you are out of the ego. You are out of the fear. You are out of the insecurity because you are one with another. Being in the purest sense of, of everything we're talking about, of that spiritual awakening, of that spiritual presence, of that spiritual moment, or in time where the level of love in compassion outweighs the care, the interest, the focus on your horse, it, it, it, you're not thinking about it.

Caroline Beste (14m 25s):
It just takes you out. The chakra work that I teach you takes you out of yourself, out of the ego and into the other being beingness. And the horse is there. They get that. And that's when that true connection happens. And you see it, you feel it. One of my students who was ex who I'll see on Friday for lessons, Emily was explaining this moment of oneness that she felt just recently with her horse. And we're gonna talk more about it in our q and A on Friday. But yeah, it, it's it, when you practice this enough, enough of the consciousness that you're talking about in the cognitive, connecting the dots, so to speak, cuz you do have to conceptually think about this.

Caroline Beste (15m 15s):
That's where reading and, and studying and learning from a master like yourself or others in books is, or me in a different way, is fantastic. But then you need to apply it. How do you practice this? And the horse, to me is the most honest and caretaking being I've ever been around more than my dogs and my cats and a human. You know, I haven't worked with other intelligent sentient beings, other species other than the, you know, the horse specifically in this way. And the level of care, compassion, understanding, holding the space, understanding where you are and wanting to connect with you in that, that place is so powerful and amazing.

Caroline Beste (16m 7s):
It is an experience that, that truly, let me get my mom, hold on for a second. There she goes. Yeah. Taking care of my mother, who truly, it's an experience like no other, it, it, it, if it's so hard to try and do this by yourself is the point I'm making. Even if you're in therapy, it's so hard to get outta your ego in your head. But to work with an honest being that is able to appreciate, for the lack of a better word, what we're talking about, just because it's so innate to them, it's so innate to the horse. They are so powerful. It is unbelievable. I'm sorry I could talk forever about it.

Caroline Beste (16m 48s):
They are just the most amazing creatures. I could cry every day. I could cry right now. I'm so humbled and honored to have this ability to be with horses like this. It's amazing, you guys.

Kris N. (17m 2s):
It is amazing. And I, I think that our experiences are very similar. You described it so beautifully. The difference with me is I've, I've not practiced being present with the horse who has that innate ability. I work with human beings. And when you sit still and do your own work prior to sitting with a human being, right? It's the same, I suspect. You understand what I mean? It's almost like a fugue state. It's almost like you, you're moved to do a different state of, of being with someone and that calls to their higher self.

Kris N. (17m 46s):
Yes. Yes. So

Caroline Beste (17m 47s):
Hire

Kris N. (17m 48s):
To hire yourself and the ego, we can recognize it if we move into that state and say, oh, silly little ego.

Caroline Beste (17m 59s):
Yes,

Kris N. (17m 60s):
Silly little ego. I see you.

Caroline Beste (18m 3s):
But at the, and we need to learn. We need to learn there, Kris, it begins there. You can't, so many of my students just want to learn what I teach and go straight to the horse. But you've gotta do the personal work first. You really have to be aware of when that ego checks back in and pushes the higher self out of the way. And it's a humility it though, the best word I can describe is a level of humility that you have. You have to have, you have to surrender. You have to be vulnerable. You have to be willing to go there. Cuz the horse has no ego. They're, I mean, yeah, they've got ego a little bit. They can be proud. Legend had ego. That's a whole nother conversation. But they don't have that, that third lobe, that that court, you know, that the thinking ability and the ego like we have.

Caroline Beste (18m 47s):
Yeah. So you, yes, you have to do the work and that's what you're gonna help. I love this. You're gonna help all of us understand well, how to do the work.

Kris N. (19m 1s):
One thing that the how yourself is not. And and then I'm gonna move on to, we'll talk a little bit about what I do and then I want to hear what you do. But the, it's not the fault self, the higher self is not what call the fault self. And that's one way that we can recognize it because the fault self, of course, is our persona. All right? And that's the, that's the mask. That's the role that we take out into the world, right? Or the various yes. That we take out into the world. And my higher self can step back and observe those roles.

Kris N. (19m 42s):
Oh, look at that. Okay. And it's kind of like one practice, if you wanna talk about it, is stepping back into the higher self through meditation. And I'll talk more about that before be, I mean later. But what happens is, if I step back into that, I can watch the drama going on outside of me, but I'm not a part of it. But I'll talk more about how you one has to connect to that loving source a right? Yes. In order to be a loving presence.

Kris N. (20m 22s):
Right? So lastly, in 12 step philosophy, what we call this higher self is the great reality within, in those of you, in in 12 step philosophy. What I mean that, I won't go into that

Caroline Beste (20m 38s):
Too much. Oh, can you speak up just a little bit? Couldn't quite hear that last part.

Kris N. (20m 43s):
I was talking about 12 step philosophy and how in 12 step philosophy, the higher self, the word that we use in the literature is the great reality within, great reality within. So those are some ways that we can, because we have to conceptualize, we need to talk, we need to use words. Those are some ways we can explore what this higher self or true self is. So what I practice is what we call conscious doing. Conscious, right? Some people call it mindfulness.

Caroline Beste (21m 24s):
Yes. Yes.

Kris N. (21m 25s):
That's okay too. I call it conscious doing because

Caroline Beste (21m 30s):
It doesn't, I love that.

Kris N. (21m 32s):
Isn't that nice? It doesn't matter so much what I'm doing as the consciousness that I bring to what I'm doing.

Caroline Beste (21m 42s):
Perfectly put. Beautiful.

Kris N. (21m 44s):
Okay. So that's a practice every day, conscious doing or mindfulness, whatever you want to call that I use, and I, I'm sure you, you can correct me on this, but this is something I do intuitively I never was taught. But what I do is I open up the seventh chakra, I sit and I open up the crown, all right? And we all know the crown, okay? Is the opening to universal energy, or the source, or the light, or God or love, holy Spirit, whatever you wanna call that force or that energy.

Kris N. (22m 29s):
So I open that up in meditation, and that allows the inflow of that power. But there's also some outflow, right? And it opens up to the Im right or the higher self and the presence. Now, at that point, we all know that the higher self is a point of contact, right? All right. The higher self is the point of contact with the experience of God or love, whatever you wanna call that. Or higher consciousness versus egoic consciousness.

Kris N. (23m 9s):
Okay? So I opened myself up in meditation. I sit still. It's very simple. Is it not? Yeah. It's, it's very simple. And it, it point is the stillness.

Caroline Beste (23m 25s):
Yes.

Kris N. (23m 27s):
Lean and stillness be still and no.

Caroline Beste (23m 32s):
So we say it's simple. Hold on for a second, for all of you out there, it is a practice until you can connect to the simplicity of this through, I recommend breath work. I think we all do for most of our deep meditation. And you wanna get to a point through the breath work that you get out of your head and into your body, into a somatic experience. What you feel inside as you are breathing. And eventually when you do this enough, every day, multiple times, it can be multiple times. I'm a panic attack survivor. And so this was, this was something I would have to do, oh my gosh, a minimum of 10 times a day back in, back in the day when I was a teenager.

Caroline Beste (24m 17s):
Very, very young. So the breath helps you get, you focus on the breath work, you focus on how you feel. And a lot of my students have a hard time, you know, getting just to that point. And they give up. And it, it, all I can say is it's, it is a practice. You must make it a mantra. You must make it a practice. It, it will happen. It will happen.

Kris N. (24m 43s):
How beautiful is that? That you're taking the words right out of my mouth, because it's a simple practice, but it's not easy. Right? And that brought in a somatic piece of that, which of course I had an experience once when I did this, where I sat very simply for 10 minutes and with the meditation on the crown and the inflow of the energy at this universal love, whatever you wanna call that energy. And I was sitting still, and it came over me for just a minute.

Kris N. (25m 24s):
All the way through my body, particular in the heart chakra, my heart opened up and I had the experience that there's enough love for me and for you. And I was overpowered with the somatic or the feeling of love. And so this is very powerful. And then of course, I'm sure you can instruct me more in it. But the other thing I do open up my hearts chakra, and I actually do some, I have a singing bowl that's, that I use that's designed it, it's completely for the heart chakra.

Kris N. (26m 13s):
It's, oh, wow. Yeah. It it's got the same vibration. Yes,

Caroline Beste (26m 19s):
Yes. The tonal. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Oh yes.

Kris N. (26m 23s):
Other practice. I use that and I can be still, and that'll vibrate with the heart chakra and open me up also. Yeah. Yeah.

Caroline Beste (26m 36s):
Beautiful. Beautiful. And so for me to relate to that, because I do something similar, but different, similar in the vibration, but different, what I teach my students in my big program is the Dallas reverse breath. And there's many, there's a lot of different ways of doing the Dallas reverse breath. You can look it up on YouTube. I've taken the, the mainframe of, so to speak, of that exercise and partnered it, so to speak, with where I, I want believe we need to be to, to do this work with our horses. And in this work, we will heal ourselves.

Caroline Beste (27m 16s):
So I define the, the way in which you go through the exercise of the breath, the breathing as if you are especially your, your, your fourth chakra in your diaphragm. And of course, this is gonna affect your throat chakra, which is beautiful. But it's like taking a very tight, and I'm gonna say it like this leather jacket that you zip up and as you're bringing the, the air and the breath up, it, it, it can tighten. And, and you're tightening the zipper and you're pulling it up and it feels so good and snug feeling. I want you to visualize that, what that feels like. And if you can't, then, then do it with a jacket that's really tight.

Caroline Beste (27m 56s):
And then as the air is coming down, the, the jacket is being unzipped in your pulling that open, you're pulling that space wide open for the release of that energy and that power and that feeling of the, the fourth chakra. And it, it's amazing when my students can practice this correctly, because it brings, they start crying. And, and it's, and I always say, if I don't make you cry in my work, I have not done my work. I have not done my job. You and I are not done because you're, it's all this trapped emotions within the, the, the fifth, I'll even include the fifth chakra down to the first.

Caroline Beste (28m 37s):
And you're just, you are not even aware that you're, you've been suppressing it and holding it within for so long. And, and that's why I call my work organic and subconscious, because we're not, it isn't something that I, it's hard to talk about. It's like you and I said in the very beginning, spirituality in the, in the journey. But I know how to apply the tactile and the tangible so that it becomes a real somatic experience that that is tangible. It's it, yeah. It's so powerful. Holy cow.

Kris N. (29m 12s):
It is. And very difficult to describe for me the power. Yeah. The it's

Caroline Beste (29m 21s):
And the healing power. And the healing power for yourself. Yeah. It's in my experience with the horses as my co-facilitators in my work with myself or work with them, or work with people, whoever needs the work. And, and I, and I love to do it with my herd of horses because we are all at different places in this healing process, and some are healed, and they are the ones that will hold that space energetically. And in as a group, you know, the few that are there will hold that space or find that student Lydia's experience that find the student that needs wherever they are, the horse gravitates, like a magnet to that student and offers them.

Caroline Beste (30m 11s):
It's always in a form of holding the space. It's never quite, it's engaging, but the horse is engaging it where you

Kris N. (30m 23s):
Need

Caroline Beste (30m 24s):
On a subconscious level. It's never like where our ego needs, like, like, I want to accomplish this, or I want this to be fixed. You know, the horse is just working right. Where they know you need the work done the most, which is never where we think it's just, it's really powerful. I'm sure I can speak for anyone out there that, that works with horses in this way, in a healing way. It, we've all experienced it. It's pretty powerful.

Kris N. (30m 51s):
Very much so. And one of the things that I've noticed in my work is, of course I use emdr. Yes. If that's something someone wants to do, but even,

Caroline Beste (31m 4s):
Can you explain that, Kris, what that means?

Kris N. (31m 8s):
E M D r i, movement, desensitization and reprocessing. And it's an adaptive informational process and won't go into that too much. But what it does is if you are working with a person and you've sat still with them long enough and you've, you're being still, and you are, they're connected through that seven chakra or even the heart chakra, and we do bilateral stimulation, which is moving from the left brain to the right brain, left brain to the right brain using eye movement.

Kris N. (31m 56s):
What happens is that person, I've witnessed people move into spiritual experience with the higher self in front of me. Oh, for whatev I see the angels. The angels are here. Wow. So through, like you were saying, the somatic word, focusing on those chakras, okay. And using bilateral stimulation, like notice your heart because they will oftentimes point to the heart as the center of where the pain is.

Caroline Beste (32m 35s):
Hmm. Yeah.

Kris N. (32m 36s):
Okay. So through emdr, what we can do is release the pain. Oftentimes there's a lot of crying, of course, and in that release, but also move them into a different state of consciousness whereby they experience, have mystical experiences, basically. Hmm. And so I've seen that happen many, many, many times. But I think, like you're saying, we have to do the work to be present to that work

Caroline Beste (33m 6s):
To connect to it. Absolutely. To connect and allow it to open up to that possibility. Yes. I've had, I've had a handful, not very many students that just could not connect to that or open up and get frustrated, of course. And the ego comes in, and then it's either my fault or the horse's fault, or this isn't right for me. So that happens too.

Kris N. (33m 30s):
Yes, it does. So if we make them aware of that, right. And watch the ego, that's something, yeah. That can help. But anyway, talk some more about some other practices there. I mean, that's the most profound that I use. Yes. But another one that I love, I got, I actually got from Ron das. And Ron Das is so simple, I just love him and what he does, and I've been using it now every day for, I don't know how long now, but when I find myself moving into, how do I say it? The drama of the world.

Kris N. (34m 12s):
Okay. Or I find myself immersed in something and I sit and I be still a no. And then I affirm that I am loving awareness, I am loving awareness. That's who I am. I'm loving awareness. And that affirmation, all right, along with opening yourself up, okay. To the hi, you know, the higher self and the energy of the higher power. Okay. Whatever that is affirming, I am loving awareness.

Kris N. (34m 55s):
Reminds me. Okay. It's like a reminder. All right. So that's something I do. That's kind of my mantra. Now, the other thing I use a lot, and I'm sure you guys do this, is ritual. Ritual. And particularly at this time of the year, we're all involved in rituals at Christmas. All right? So I'm gonna talk more about the meaning. How does the higher self play into this Christmas phenomena? Okay. I'll talk about that later. But I'd light a candle when I sit down, of course, whatever I'm doing my work with people, but I light a candle because it represents the presence to me.

Caroline Beste (35m 48s):
Oh. Oh, I like that.

Kris N. (35m 50s):
It helps with the container, the healing container that we bring to people. But it also reminds me I'm not the one doing the work.

Caroline Beste (36m 2s):
Okay.

Kris N. (36m 3s):
That the, that the work is moving through me. Right.

Caroline Beste (36m 7s):
So you're channeling it. So the candle, hold on. The candle, great metaphor. Excuse me. I'm eating a pez, sorry, my candy of choice. So the candle is a great metaphor for the divine light. Yes. And it's creating space mentally and visually for you to channel your higher self. Correct?

Kris N. (36m 30s):
Correct. Thank you so much for explaining.

Caroline Beste (36m 32s):
Wow. Oh, I have goosebumps on that.

Kris N. (36m 38s):
It's a small ritual. I've used it for years, but I don't sit down to do my work without a candle burning.

Caroline Beste (36m 45s):
Oh, wow.

Kris N. (36m 46s):
I need the reminder, and I need the reminder of the presence and how the presence works through me. That I'm not doing the work, but I'm being used to do the work. And the higher self, of course, is aligned with, and when I look through the eyes of the higher self, that's another practice, is there's a, a certain prayer, if you like, prayer where I ask higher power or the higher self that I might look at the world through the eyes of the higher self, that my hands might be used for the healing that might be, might be in right.

Kris N. (37m 32s):
Action and aligned with that higher self. So

Caroline Beste (37m 35s):
There's, I like that.

Kris N. (37m 36s):
Yeah. There's lots of things we can do when we sit down with the, at Christmas time, of course, depending on whether or not you are a practicing Christian or not, there's certainly things you can put on your altar Yes. To, into the Christmas spirit, are putting something different on their altars at Hanukkah. But this creates what I'm doing for me, if this is my work environment or just my personal environment, and this is my meditation room. This is where I'm sitting. I'm creating a holy space.

Kris N. (38m 19s):
Yes. Or a holy place. And so I'm bringing in that word holy now. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Really different. The other thing I need, of course, is a regenerating practice. All right. For me of carving out. Yes. Very important. Yep. And you talked about this bef you just made reference to a Caroline. But this is not something I do just in the morning. I have to consciously throughout the day, all right, be silence.

Kris N. (38m 60s):
Hmm. Yes. And of course, where do we find that loving presence that moves through us? But here now, right here now, and I have to, Mike, you were talking, oh, I have to pull in the body sometimes. Okay. And do grounding. All right. I ground myself in Mother Earth, you know, just ground myself. Yes, yes. And that, those chakras, right? And that's when, that's where you find presence is only here.

Kris N. (39m 39s):
Now. You cannot find presence or God or whatever you wanna call that anywhere. But here now, so I stop during the day when I'm feeling tired or whatever it might be going on. And I bring in the power and the strength, right? By being in the silence and being here now, practice being here now. All right? Yes. And I know nowadays,

Caroline Beste (40m 14s):
Practice being in the now, being in the moment. Being in the moment. Absolutely.

Kris N. (40m 19s):
Absolutely. I know today that's kind of pop, you hear a lot about that. But I'm talking about difference. Stress is caused, and particularly this time of the year, by being here, but wanting to be there, okay? What stress is. So I need to be here now, and there's no problems here right now. Hmm. There's no, there's nothing right now. There's no problems right here. Now, all of us sitting here right now in this moment, we don't have any problems.

Caroline Beste (41m 1s):
That's right.

Kris N. (41m 3s):
Well, right here now. So I practice that a lot. And then this time of the year, I reflect on them, true meaning of the season. So I do a lot of reflection. All right? Yeah. And I think that is a higher consciousness when we get into the reflection of the true meaning, right? Yes. Those are some things we do, only some, but I think the most difficult practice is sitting in the higher self and being here now and looking at your thoughts as just thoughts.

Kris N. (41m 47s):
Just thoughts, and watching emotions come and go. Because of course they come and go, I was always afraid they were gonna stay forever. Yep. Right? Oh,

Caroline Beste (41m 59s):
Yeah. Oh yeah. Sometimes they feel like they're staying a little longer than you want 'em too. That's for sure. We all go through that. So go back to meditation.

Kris N. (42m 11s):
Yeah.

Caroline Beste (42m 13s):
Yes. Or we push through it, or we just push through it.

Kris N. (42m 18s):
Yep. Exactly. And I need to just relax into it, Relax into the emotion, relax it into it, but most importantly, see thoughts for what they are. Just thoughts. So when you watch your thoughts, you go, oh, look at that. It's what I'm, what iffing, what if this happens? What if that happens? What if that there's the mind going into the future. And the mind, I call it the little mind because okay, it's, that's all it is.

Kris N. (42m 58s):
And then sometimes it goes past, but it's in the future, and it's in the past. And it's just thinking. It's just thinking. So what I had to learn to do was step back into my higher self through meditation and watch my thinking just like the cloud's going by. So wouldn't you do that? What the masters say is you create the gap, what they call the gap, and you're stepping back into who it is you actually are. And you're watching this, like it's on some kind of a rolling tape.

Kris N. (43m 41s):
Just watch screening.

Caroline Beste (43m 43s):
Yeah.

Kris N. (43m 44s):
You create, right? And where are you sitting? But in the wisdom,

Caroline Beste (43m 54s):
Hmm.

Kris N. (43m 54s):
That's who you actually are as wisdom. So you watch your thoughts, and if you practice that long enough, you will experience the gap or the peacefulness that comes with sitting still and your higher self, and in your wisdom wisdom's different than thought chatter.

Caroline Beste (44m 18s):
That is powerful. That is so powerful.

Kris N. (44m 21s):
That's what he meant from the higher self is a wisdom. And you will notice that I think you just described it really well yourself.

Caroline Beste (44m 30s):
Yeah. Yes. And I've lost some of that wisdom myself, you know, being so burnout doing so much the last few years, and I'm, I'm working on capturing that. But you know, that's the most beautiful thing that the breath work and the meditation was able to give me as a, as a teenager, suffering from acute panic attacks, was that gap. I've never heard it put so eloquently as you just did. But that, that space where you're not attached to your thoughts, because those thoughts were creating my, my freezing and my panic attacks. So it was those emotions and those thoughts, and they overwhelmed me.

Caroline Beste (45m 13s):
And, and then it makes, and it's so interesting because as an adult that's worked through that level or layer of self work for myself, you know, we continue to grow and, and evolve. And with that comes different challenges. And I'm finding myself needing to get back to just doing that work in that way that worked. And, you know, I haven't given myself permission or time to take that level of self-care. And you've just reminded me just now, what an aha, how powerful it is.

Caroline Beste (45m 53s):
And it seems so simple, you all, but it, it, it's, if you just take your own advice or the advice of, of what you just recommended, it is. And I am, and I am going to go back to really carving out quiet time and doing the deep meditation again that I have not done in such a long time. Wow. Thank you for that. Oh my, what a gift. Thank you.

Kris N. (46m 20s):
Well, now that we all go through those times that you're describing, I've gone through those times, and that's human nature.

Caroline Beste (46m 31s):
Yeah.

Kris N. (46m 31s):
That's about honoring, I think our humanness

Caroline Beste (46m 36s):
And I guess so

Kris N. (46m 38s):
The way that I move in and out of this consciousness. But as time goes on, I know what the answer is, all right? Just whether or not that part of me is gonna get away from the television or whatever, whatever the distraction is,

Caroline Beste (47m 0s):
Right? Yes. Yes.

Kris N. (47m 3s):
And we have a lot of distractions. And of course, in this season, it's the worst in the Christmas season, the distraction. Yeah,

Caroline Beste (47m 14s):
Yeah. Yes.

Kris N. (47m 15s):
We have a lot of invitation to get into the commercialization of Christmas, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. So anyway, I'm gonna talk

Caroline Beste (47m 25s):
The competition, the competition of Christmas, you know, I used to be there in, in so many different ways, you guys, so yeah, it's tough. You gotta really be conscious and aware of those pitfalls. Yep, yep.

Kris N. (47m 42s):
Well, we were talking earlier about what are the benefits when of, of, of immersing yourself in spirit and doing this work and connecting with our higher selves, however you want to frame that. Obviously I'm just, there's simple repercussions, there's simple benefits from that. There's joy, true joy.

Caroline Beste (48m 14s):
Yeah.

Kris N. (48m 15s):
And I get, I hear you describe that all the time in your relat when you are there in your relationship with your horses joy, right?

Caroline Beste (48m 25s):
Yes.

Kris N. (48m 26s):
Joy from a spiritual center, not what we call happiness, whatever that is. Okay. It's joy, obviously. There's peace and there's serenity, there's calm

Caroline Beste (48m 45s):
Contentment. I love that word. Being content in, in the moment, being content in the experience, not wanting for more

Kris N. (48m 54s):
Yes. Just now. And knowing you have enough.

Caroline Beste (48m 60s):
Yes. Yes.

Kris N. (49m 2s):
That I am enough and there's enough.

Caroline Beste (49m 5s):
Oh, that's been a huge struggle for me personally, all of my life until recently. I've mentioned that on other podcasts, you know, just recently being like seven years ago, you know, getting that taste and that glimpse and that experience of being content. Yeah. Wow.

Kris N. (49m 26s):
Well, at my age and all the years that I've practiced, I find that there is, there is wisdom. Not just because there's life experience, but because there's practice at dealing with life experience.

Caroline Beste (49m 44s):
Yes. Right?

Kris N. (49m 46s):
So what I've found, for me, I'm turning 70 this year.

Caroline Beste (49m 52s):
Unbelievable. You look amazing. Oh my God.

Kris N. (49m 56s):
Well, thank you. But I'll be 70 this month. And the is because the seventies, as you move through development as a woman, women's spiritual development, in your seventies, you are redefining yourself again. Hmm. Yeah. Oh,

Caroline Beste (50m 20s):
Good.

Kris N. (50m 21s):
Redefining yourself again, because you've let go of so many rules, and when you let spirit move through you and guide you on that path, the most incredible things start to happen because you can combine it with life wisdom. So I just bring that up for any of you or my age. I doubt it. There are a lot. But there's, isn't that why

Caroline Beste (50m 48s):
People get divorced in their older age? Exactly.

Kris N. (50m 54s):
Exactly.

Caroline Beste (50m 55s):
It's either midlife crisis or older.

Kris N. (50m 58s):
Exactly. Hmm. Yeah, because you Yeah. You're not who you were, right, Lydia. Yes,

Caroline Beste (51m 6s):
Yes.

Kris N. (51m 7s):
Yeah. You're a different, yeah. You're not the 20 year old or the 30 year old who was operating out of that, that level of consciousness making those decisions.

Caroline Beste (51m 19s):
Yes, yes.

Kris N. (51m 21s):
Right.

Caroline Beste (51m 23s):
You know, real quick, I'm gonna add to all of us out there that have been married more than once, and some of us several times, and, and I'm not making an excuse, but you know, there's quite a few of us that evolve and you just said it, and as you evolve, it's like, you know, friendships and relationships in life come for a reason, a season in a lifetime. Yeah. And you know, I don't go into marriage thinking that this is, I hope, I don't even like that word. I just don't put it up. I don't put marriage in a box saying, well, I hope we have, we're married for the rest of our lives.

Caroline Beste (52m 4s):
Yeah, that'd be beautiful. It, you know, it's, I think we, we, we, I know we put on relationships, especially marriage, so many restrictions and expectations. And of all the, the clients I've worked with, and it's been thousands, very few are truly happy, and very few have, have been able to, to have a 30, 40, 50 year relationship and marriage co. I'm not saying we all have, we all, it comes and goes. There's ebb and flows for years. I'm not afraid of working on myself. I'm not afraid of working on my marriage, but I mean, when you really hit that space where you're like, wow, I love you, I love who you are, but this just isn't who I am anymore.

Caroline Beste (52m 54s):
It's just not working out, not making excuses for anything. I'm just putting it out there. It's just stuff to think about, you know, A lot of stuff to think about.

Kris N. (53m 5s):
Well, my experience personally, and in watching others, particularly women, there's a, there's a grief associated with our transformative experience. In other words, as we transformed sometimes, and I don't mean this in a judgmental way, but our partners are no longer like-minded.

Caroline Beste (53m 30s):
Yeah.

Kris N. (53m 32s):
And

Caroline Beste (53m 32s):
Yes,

Kris N. (53m 33s):
Very sad, sad thing because we're transforming and moving forward, and maybe they're not.

Caroline Beste (53m 40s):
Yes. I've been there. Yeah. Yep. And I used to say 15 years ago when that happened in my first marriage, you know, it was devastating for, for so many different reasons that we're talking about. But at the same time, the death of my marriage was the birth of me. It was the rebirth of me. And it was so sad that we had a 15 year friendship and love and commitment, and we definitely were growing apart. We had different needs. So, yeah. It's crazy.

Kris N. (54m 15s):
Yeah. And it, it's, I've

Caroline Beste (54m 17s):
Had, it happens

Kris N. (54m 19s):
When I, I, once I left my best friend

Caroline Beste (54m 22s):
Yeah.

Kris N. (54m 24s):
Left my best friend. And it was, it was really, really, really sad. But I was moving on, I was transforming and I was different, and I needed different things in my life. And this person Yes. Over here needing this. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. Back to benefits. My favorite one is if, if we're, if we practice this, oh, I am loving awareness and con complete recognition of who I am and moving from that healing space, I become non-reactive versus reactive.

Kris N. (55m 10s):
I'm no longer powered by the world and it's events because it's just a life situation. And I can be proactive from that higher self. And I'm not that ego who's reacting to everything all the time. Oh, you know? Yeah, yeah. I have a mindfulness about how I'm going to act.

Caroline Beste (55m 38s):
Yes.

Kris N. (55m 39s):
And it doesn't, it's not, it's not hard thought. I'm not working on it. It's moving through. Does that make sense? Yeah,

Caroline Beste (55m 48s):
It does. It does. It it, I don't, I mean, yeah, it makes sense to me. And I can be reactive, you know, that's still a definite work in progress where, where I am aware that I'm attached to, my emotions are attached to an expectation or situation, expectation, mostly if I'm correct. But that is definitely the moving through. If you all are out there wondering, well, what are you talking about? Well, that's, that's what we were talking about in the very beginning of this podcast, is how you allow that energy to come through you, to open yourself up through your chakra system, is what we're talking about.

Caroline Beste (56m 28s):
And allowing that, that light, that energy, that divine, that higher self through meditation come through you, you have to open yourself up to feel that energy come through you, to feel that feeling come through you, that knowing that that intuition, that guttural, that, that sense, that inner knowing. And it is a feeling, you know, we we're trying to describe it, but you know it when you have it, but you've gotta practice to open yourself up to receive it. So Yeah,

Kris N. (56m 60s):
Absolutely. So well put, I really love that. I'm just kinda, thank you. Do this so that we can get into Christmas. Cuz I know we're running out of time, aren't we?

Caroline Beste (57m 11s):
We're okay. We're okay. Don't worry.

Kris N. (57m 15s):
Okay. So obviously when we're in that place, we're empowered from the right kind of. Yes. Versus if I'm not there, I'm going to lose self, which is the big S I'm gonna get this from, and I'm gonna move into ego. And it's always the ego that's reacting to things because the ego takes remember, ego takes everything personally. And I've said, excuse me, I can I still fall back into that? Yep.

Caroline Beste (57m 48s):
Oh yeah, me too. Me too.

Kris N. (57m 52s):
Strength, we get strength. What I mean by that is the energy that moves through this gives us strength to move forward. Even gives us strength in our body. Hope, hope, wisdom, and love. Just some little things like that.

Caroline Beste (58m 13s):
No, not little loves. Oh, they're huge. Hmm.

Kris N. (58m 18s):
Okay. You wanna talk about Christmas?

Caroline Beste (58m 23s):
Yes, ma'am. You don't, you be stressed by time. We can, we can have all the time we need.

Kris N. (58m 28s):
All right. Well I can keep it. I was giving you this some thought. And the first thing, of course people think about, and you mentioned this earlier at Christmas for the holiday season, it triggers people. And I think we need to be conscious of the triggers. And oftentimes, like you said, there's been losses. So there's thoughts of the past, somebody's not present that used to be present. Thoughts of the past are pretty typical. Yeah. So what it does is it's a time for healing. I think Christmas is a time for healing,

Caroline Beste (59m 9s):
And

Kris N. (59m 9s):
It's also the end of the year. So there's a time to reflect. But what I do is I examine what tole calls the pain body. All right? What kind of pain am I holding onto in my body? All right. And then of course we have to examine our thoughts, all right? But whatever healing work we do, all right, to deal with the pain body we need, it's a good time to do it. Because not only personally, it, the collective consciousness of the world at Christmas can be a space for healing, cuz most people are moving into or being asked to move into a different level of consciousness at Christmas.

Kris N. (1h 0m 4s):
Yes. Okay. So I want non-resistance of these thoughts and emotions that might be coming up and the pain maybe in the body where it's centered, it might be in the heart, might be somewhere else. But I wanna surrender consciously, the pain from the I am surrender consciously to the pain with self-compassion. Compassion for self. Cuz we all know that when we are in line energetically, all right, alright.

Kris N. (1h 0m 46s):
With a loving presence, one of the things we get is compassion for ourselves as we watch this process and cooperate with it would be a good word, I guess, right? Yeah, yeah. Cooperate with the healing and Yes. But that's a process, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. So Christmas in the collective consciousness is oftentimes people are raised up in consciousness. So it provides in the collective, it's like we're all doing this together.

Kris N. (1h 1m 26s):
Yes. Yeah. And it's a wonderful time for that. I'm gonna read something. Yes. I don't know any of you, the only reason I'm reading this is because I found it more fitting than anything I've read to describe the higher self and how that's related to the Christmas season. So I'm gonna read something, a couple things, but the first thing I read is from the Course in Miracles. And I'm not, I'm not promoting the course, I'm just using the course as something that I feel expresses the how the higher self is, how do I wanna say this immersed?

Kris N. (1h 2m 19s):
And how the higher self Christmas can be a metaphor for the rebirth of the higher self. So I'm gonna talk about that a little bit and, and let you think about that and, and see if that's true for you. But I'm gonna read this. This is from the course out of this Christmas season. A new year will be born out of this holy instant, A new world will be born, even though the infant within us will be small and vulnerable, she will carry within herself all power, all miracles that we one day perform.

Kris N. (1h 3m 10s):
And what I heard in that was of course, the metaphor of the baby Jesus, whether or not you're Christian or not, doesn't matter, or the Christ, the baby, and how that exists within us. Yes. All right. The birth of Christ is metaphor for the birth of the Christ within us. Yes. And this just talked about the infant, all right. Within us, or the child within us will be small and vulnerable just as Christ was all right at that birth.

Kris N. (1h 3m 51s):
We too. I mean, we too have that Christ being born within us, that Buddha within us, that vulnerable child within us, whatever you wanna call it. So that's how I see how the tradition of Christianity, the metaphor of the birth of the higher self come to Yes. The season.

Caroline Beste (1h 4m 14s):
Yes. Yes. Me too. Okay. Beautifully put. Yeah. Also, what the metaphor is is coming from darkness or unconsciousness or being asleep to the light.

Kris N. (1h 4m 34s):
Yes. And the awakened consciousness. And you can call it a Christ consciousness if you want. A lot of people do, or the Yes, they do, right? Yes. So it's a God consciousness, however you wanna put it. It's a higher power of consciousness, however you wanna put it. And the birth of Christ, of course, is meaning how we come out of that darkness or unconsciousness in the sleep into the light and awakened consciousness. It's also the birth of holiness within us. And it's supposed to awaken us, I suspect, to our own divinity.

Caroline Beste (1h 5m 18s):
Yes.

Kris N. (1h 5m 19s):
And isn't that what Christ said?

Caroline Beste (1h 5m 23s):
Yes. And you guys, if you pray, prayer is a form of meditation. It's all the same whether you pray to God or you go deep within and open yourself up to a higher divinity, divine self. But it's that power of prayer that creates that space in so many ways for, you know, it's, it's amazing. I just, I'll just leave it there. The power of prayer, power of meditation is absolutely transformative. Yeah,

Kris N. (1h 5m 56s):
Absolutely. Even if you don't think it works, do it anyway.

Caroline Beste (1h 5m 60s):
Yes. Do it and do it and do it. It will work.

Kris N. (1h 6m 6s):
I, I'll just sneak in here a form of prayer that I really recommended people called contemplative prayer. Are you familiar with that?

Caroline Beste (1h 6m 15s):
No.

Kris N. (1h 6m 16s):
Thomas Keating. He's a very, very unusual, he was the Abbott of the monastery in Boulder, Colorado. Hmm. Anyway, he's a, an amazing man, and you can read books by Thomas Keen, and he uses a simple form of contemplative prayer, which is actually very ancient. It comes from eons ago. But he's bringing it back into the consciousness of people and also do pick a holy word. And you focus on that. So you might say mercy.

Kris N. (1h 6m 57s):
And when you go flying away, you come back and say mercy.

Caroline Beste (1h 7m 2s):
Mm. I have heard of that now. Yes, I have. Now I under Yes. I ha I'm familiar in my readings. Yes. Wow. The power of intention, the power of the mind, the power of focus. Wow.

Kris N. (1h 7m 19s):
And the power of connection to your holy word, which brings you back to who it is you actually are.

Caroline Beste (1h 7m 26s):
Yeah. Yes, yes, yes. Yep.

Kris N. (1h 7m 30s):
I'll just add that because you were talking about prayer. But what we wanna do in this season is we wanna prepare a holy place for the rebirth of ourselves. And we want, that means nurturing ourselves. And that's the last thing we do in the season. Right. What we do is rush, rush, rush, rush, rush and react, react, react, react. So I think we have to look at it like we're preparing. You can even look at it like my home today, because this is where I am, is a holy place for the rebirth or the reconnection, however you wanna look at that with my higher self, metaphorically being the birth of Christ.

Kris N. (1h 8m 20s):
So I'm gonna read another thing. This is by Robert. Beautiful.

Caroline Beste (1h 8m 27s):
Thank you. That was

Kris N. (1h 8m 28s):
Beautiful. Good, good, good. This is by Robert Perry, and he's a student of the course, but I, I thought it was so beautiful because he summed up, he summed it up beautifully. In short, we need to prepare a holy place for the birth of Christ in us. He is alien to this world, to its sights of violence and sounds of war. He is an alien to the battleground of our ego's thoughts. We need to prepare a place in us that mirrors the holiness of where Christ comes from, and therefore provides him with a nurturing environment.

Kris N. (1h 9m 20s):
We prepare this place by giving over our hate and by releasing all of our brothers and sisters from our demands. Mm. Wow. We prepared by clearing a space in our mind that is totally empty and quiet, receptive and expected. We prepare it by fully entering the present moment where Christ is forever being born. We prepare it by entering a holy instant. We may enter this instant in the privacy of our own mind, or we may enter by joining with a brother or sister through mutual forgiveness.

Kris N. (1h 10m 8s):
Either way, this is how we make the season holy. This is how we repeat what happened with the original Christmas. Lastly, the sign of of in the symbolism of the Christmas star. Isn't that a beautiful thing to think on?

Caroline Beste (1h 10m 35s):
Yes.

Kris N. (1h 10m 36s):
The light in the darkness. And I can remember as a child looking out my window on Christmas Eve, even seeing the bright star. Can you remember that? Yeah. Yes,

Caroline Beste (1h 10m 52s):
Yes, yes.

Kris N. (1h 10m 54s):
And of course, experiencing a mystically, that connection with the meaning of that. Yeah. The light of the darkness, the hope. What else would you add to that? The Christmas?

Caroline Beste (1h 11m 9s):
Yeah. Oh, that's beautiful. This, this is the first year that we have had a star that I bought a star for our tree. But my husband is, is amazing. He loves the stars, he loves to go out at night and look at them. And so he'll point out the, the Christmas star every Christmas for Mason and me. Oh my gosh. The star of hope and light. Yeah. It, it's beautiful. I I you you take it away. I love it. Of hope and light.

Kris N. (1h 11m 43s):
Well, I, I think that I can end it there. You know, I can go on and on and on. All right. I won't.

Caroline Beste (1h 11m 53s):
Oh, I think this was so beautifully. Thank you, Chris. You are a master at what you do and we are so blessed. Chris is retiring this year and we are all so blessed to have had your, your wisdom. I don't know what to say. Just thank you so much for being a part and, and I hope we'll talk more. I hope we can get you a couple more times in in your retirement. Yes.

Kris N. (1h 12m 24s):
I would

Caroline Beste (1h 12m 24s):
Love it to share your breath of work and wisdom. It. I just, I love it. I don't know what to say. I'm so honored that you're here and I know that our audience is gonna get so much out of this. It's just beautiful, beautiful.

Kris N. (1h 12m 41s):
Hope so. Well, it's been a privilege to be here. Thank you. And I don't know what my retirement's gonna look like, but I suspect it's be just a little different than what I've been doing, the 45, last 45 years.

Caroline Beste (1h 12m 54s):
Oh my gosh. Yeah. I can only imagine. I hear so many retired people say they're busier than ever. Cuz there's so many things that they get to do that they never got to do before. So, wow. That's exciting.

Kris N. (1h 13m 8s):
Yeah. And who knows what this Holy Spirit will do with me.

Caroline Beste (1h 13m 12s):
Yeah.

Kris N. (1h 13m 13s):
I need to, I

Caroline Beste (1h 13m 14s):
Love it.

Kris N. (1h 13m 15s):
To that, and I'm sure you guys do that. And that was the, that's the message of Christmas hope and expectancy. Yeah.

Caroline Beste (1h 13m 23s):
Right. Thank you. Thank you. Beautiful. Merry Christmas everyone. This is our last podcast for the year. Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah, happy holidays. Happy New Year. We love you. We can't wait to see you in January. God bless. Bless everyone. And thank you ladies. Love you <unk>. Love to all. Love you guys. Bye bye. See you New year. Thank you. Thank you. Okay. Bye-bye.

Kris N. (1h 13m 53s):
Bye-bye.

Caroline Beste (1h 13m 55s):
Bye bye.