Ep. 294: Practical Tools for Elementary School Challenges

Elementary school is full of exciting milestones—new teachers, new friends, field trips, and growing independence. But for students with food allergies, each of these moments can bring unique challenges. So how can families help children stay safe, feel included, and build confidence throughout the school day?

Joining us is FAACT's Director of Behavioral Health and Nationally Certified School Psychologist, Emery Brown, M.A., Ed.S., to share practical, easy-to-use strategies that support both food allergy safety and emotional well-being.

Resources to keep you in the know:

• FAACT's Behavioral Health Resource Center
• FAACT's Resilience and Food Allergies Activities
• FAACT's Coping Skills
• FAACT's For Parents and Caregivers: How to Listen to Your Children and Teens When They Are Ready to Talk to You About Their Mental Health
  
  

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Sponsored by: Kaleo

Thanks for listening! FAACT invites you to discover more exciting food allergy resources at FoodAllergyAwareness.org!

Transcript

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Caroline: Welcome to FAACT's Roundtable, a podcast dedicated to navigating life with food allergies across the lifespan. Presented in a welcoming format with interviews and open discussions,

each episode will explore a specific topic, leaving you with the facts to know or use.

Information presented via this podcast is educational and not intended to provide individual medical advice.

Please consult with your personal board certified allergist or healthcare providers for advice specific to your situation.

Hi everyone, I'm Caroline Moassessi and I am your host for the FAACT Roundtable Podcast.

I am a food allergy parent advocate and the founder of the Grateful Foodie Blog. And I am FAACT's Vice President of Community Relations.

Before we start today's podcast, we would like to take a moment to thank Kaleo for their kind sponsorship of FAACT's Roundtable podcast. We also would like to thank them for the support we received over the years.

Elementary school is filled with exciting milestones. New teachers, new friends, field trips, classroom parties, and growing independence. But for students with food allergies, each of the those moments can also bring new challenges.

So how can families help children feel safe, included and confident throughout the school day? Joining us is FAACT's Director of Behavioral Health and nationally certified school Psychologist, Emery Brown to share practical, easy to use strategies that help families navigate elementary school with confidence while supporting both safety and emotional well being.

Welcome back, Emery to FAACT's Roundtable Podcast. We're absolutely delighted to have you with us today because you bring such a unique perspective in regards to your personal life and professionalism.

And as always,

you leave us with really important,

actionable items.

Emery: Thank you. I'm always happy to be back.

Caroline: Before we dive into today's topic, we'd love for our listeners to get to know you who might be tuning in for the first time. Can you share your professional and personal journey and what inspired you to become a school psychologist and then dedicate a lot of your work to children with food allergies?

Emery: Of course. So my journey starts back when I was first diagnosed with food allergies myself. When I was 8 months old,

my aunt dropped ice cream on me and I broke out in hives everywhere. And my parents,

my dad's a doctor, my sister has food allergies as well. So they knew immediately that I had a dairy allergy. Took me to the allergist. That's really where it begins.

But I actually am allergic to all dairy, peanuts, some tree nuts, soy,

sunflower seeds and pumpkin seeds. And I've also outgrown allergies to fish, shellfish and eggs.

So I have a lot of Allergies to navigate. And that's always been a part of my life.

I've worked at FAACT as the director of behavioral health for the last six years, and I've been a school psychologist for five years. So I'm very passionate about psychology and specifically around anxiety in general.

So because of my own food allergies, I have an attachment to anxiety as it relates to food allergies. But when you think of it from the school perspective,

children spend nearly half of their waking hours at school. So if we want them to thrive, whether they have food allergies or not, school has to be a place where they feel safe enough to learn, safe enough to play, safe to make friends, and then, most importantly, safe to begin becoming independent in their own way.

Caroline: Thank you for sharing that, because now people can have a better understanding of your passion and your knowledge as we continue with our conversation.

Now, let's just jump right into the conversation and start with the elementary school years.

From your perspective, what are some of the biggest challenges students with food allergies face as they navigate the classroom, the cafeteria, the playground, and all the activities that come with the school day?

Emery: I like how you put that question, Caroline, and you're right. The school day encapsulates a lot of different settings and a lot of different things.

When we think of school,

a different activity or part of the day might come to your mind. A lot of us think of learning. When I think of school, I certainly think of learning, but it really is the different spaces.

The classroom, the cafeteria,

playground, who you're going to see in the day, what your teacher is going to be like, what rapport will you develop with them.

So the challenges are across settings. But from the developmental perspective, I think that there are three major ones in the elementary years that stand out to me, and that's unpredictability,

feeling different,

and increasing independence.

So as far as unpredictability goes,

yes, many schools like to follow a specific schedule. You'll probably have lunch at the same time every day. You'll have recess at the same time every day. Perhaps math is first period,

but there still is a lot of unpredictability.

And I mean that. You don't always know what's coming up. There could be a day with the substitute teachers. There's always a break in schedule with something like a field trip, a class party, a special event you don't see coming,

birthday treats. And typically anxiety comes from that unpredictability.

When I talk about feeling different,

I'm looking at when those class treats are handed out your child missing out on a cupcake, perhaps having to eat separately. That's something that I did as a child,

carrying medication,

explaining allergies repeatedly, whether that's to new friends, to a substitute, to a new teacher. Every year wanting to fit in. You know, sometimes we'll hear children say, I don't want to make it a big deal just because they're trying to make sure that they're watering themselves down to fit in.

But it is a big deal.

Hopefully managing a food allergy doesn't have to feel like a big deal at every moment because it's handled well. But ultimately it is a big deal and we'll make a big deal when we have to.

And then when I'm looking at increasing independence from the developmental perspective, again, every year the expectation changes.

It could be ordering lunch, reading labels, speaking to adults,

recognizing symptoms on your own, and then eventually self carrying epinephrine. Parents don't always realize that independence should go gradually.

So when we're talking about kindergarten versus fourth grade, the expectation is going to be different.

But the good news is, you know, as I'm listing these challenges,

every one of the challenges could be an opportunity to build confidence.

Caroline: I'm so glad you mentioned the word confidence. Don't you think that's what comes through all these years,

learning all these areas that you're just discussing to build that confidence?

Emery: Absolutely. And truthfully, confidence comes from doing. And what I like to help children do is replace their anxiety with competence and confidence.

So you can be confident when you know what to do and what to expect.

Caroline: That's right. You've discussed that before and I thought that was just so brilliant.

Now that we've identified some of these challenges and let's now shift to solutions,

how can parents and caregivers begin developing a plan for success? So is there a framework or set of tools you recommend for anticipating challenges,

solving problems, and even helping children?

Yep. Build confidence.

Emery: Amazing. Amazingly put. Caroline. And yes,

parents, if you're listening, I'm going to walk you through how to prep for this. And when I say prep, I'm talking about the prep framework.

So. So it's easy to think about because when you're dealing with any situation,

you want to be prepared.

So prep P, R, E, P.

The P is predict,

R rehearse,

E equip, and P partner.

Let me walk you through it.

So when we're talking about P, predicting what situation could happen at school,

is it a birthday party?

Does your child ride the bus? Do they need to be prepared for that?

Is there a field trip that's already on the calendar for the year? How do they react during a fire drill?

What's your situation at lunch going to look like? What happens when a substitute enters the classroom?

Is it in this teacher substitute plans to alert the substitute of your child's allergies.

Predict what could happen ahead of time. There are repeatable events every year. You know that your school's gonna have a field trip every year. You know that the teacher's gonna be absent at least a couple times.

So let's predict what could happen,

and then we'll go into the R and rehearse.

Rehearsing is exactly what it seems like. Practice, roleplay, walkthrough scenarios.

Children are gaining this confidence that we want through practice, not lectures.

Now, depending on how playful your kid is,

they might be happy to rehearse with you,

or it might be something that they resist.

So I like to talk about how can we make rehearsing and role playing fun?

If your child has a favorite stuffed animal or group of stuffed animals, use them. Have the stuffed animals act out the scenario.

You know, is your child really into Barbies? Then have the dolls do it. American Girl dolls. Have them do it. Dinosaurs. Dinosaurs can eat lunch too, right?

So use your child's interests to rehearse if your child's a little bit older.

Honestly, puppets and stuffed animals can still be a great idea. Sometimes we think our child may have aged out of being playful in that way, but they really haven't. So I would use these strategies up until possibly 11,

even 12 years old myself. This year I was counseling a bunch of fifth graders,

and I have puppets in my office. I wasn't planning on using the puppets with the fifth graders to role play some of the things they were going through.

They asked me to use the puppets. Mrs. Brown, Mrs. Brown, can we use the puppets?

Of course you can use the puppets, and you'll be surprised how much comes out when your child has the ability to project onto a toy or something that they're playing with.

It's a lot easier to have the dinosaur or the stuffed bear go through the allergy scenario than having your child pretend to be themselves in a role play with you.

So use toys,

use play. When we're looking at that prep framework,

really spend time on rehearsing. It has to be done again and again.

So if you can do it in a playful way,

your child will be more likely to engage with you more frequently about it, rather than just doing it one time and saying, mom, dad, I don't want to do this again, you know, be playful with it.

Then we go into e equip.

So that's the knowledge that you have about food allergies that you're going to give to your children.

That's your emergency action plan, that's having your medication on hand,

that's your children knowing who the trusted adults are in the school.

And then that's communication as well. Who do you need to talk to and when? So e equip. Equip yourself with that knowledge and then equip yourself with the tangible items you need to keep your child safe at school.

Lastly, when we're looking at the prep framework, it's partner,

who are you partnering with? That's perhaps other parents that have kids with food allergies.

That's you and your partner or your spouse within your own family unit.

Partnering with the school for school safety is an absolute must.

Whether that's you using some of FAACT's resources for the classroom, which are downloadable on our website,

or going in and talking to key leaders,

you want to partner with them in a way that's meaningful.

And then, of course,

don't leave out your child. I know that you, as the parent listening or caregiver is the one that's doing this partnering, but don't forget to partner with your child and see how they would like to communicate with their teacher if they're old enough or their friends.

When we talk about partnering,

everyone really working together as a parent, you know, when you're growing towards that confidence and independence,

I feel like a lot of parents ask themselves, how do I know if my child's ready for this next thing? How do I know that they're ready to, you know,

maybe to eat lunch at the table with their friends and manage not sharing and cross contact versus eating alone? You know, they ask, how do I know if my child's ready?

But instead of asking, can they do it alone,

ask yourself, can they do it with coaching,

can they do it? If you're role playing,

can they do it if you're bringing them into the partnership? That's how independence is going to develop through these different stages.

Caroline: I have never heard of prep and it is brilliant. I love it. Because as you're explaining it, it's all very doable.

Emery: Exactly. And when you're looking to take action, Caroline, you have to have it be doable. And yes, it's cute, but, you know, in the sense that we want to be prepared.

So I think it's also really helpful that you can certainly remember to prep Predict,

rehearse,

equip, and partner.

Caroline: Very relatable. And you're right. Easy to remember four letters. We can do this.

Emery: Absolutely.

Caroline: I love it.

So now, do you have any other simple, proactive tools or strategies that parents and caregivers can start using today just to help their child feel safer, more confident, and prepared?

You know, the school year's coming up here. We have this prep system. Is there anything else?

Emery: Certainly. So I mentioned role play,

and kids learn through repetition. So just be careful that when you're doing that rehearse, you're not just rehearsing one time.

You know, you're rehearsing. What would you say if my friend offers me food? What would you say if you can't find your teacher or trusted adult?

You know,

you think you're having symptoms. Let's go through all of that and let's do it a bunch of times and in a playful way, like I mentioned. But another practical thing that I think will be helpful as we head into the school year is remembering to celebrate independence instead of only correcting mistakes.

So I noticed you asked that question.

You remembered your medication without me having to remind you.

I noticed that you checked the label. Great job.

So again,

when we're kind of circling back to how do we grow this confidence for the school year? Confidence grows from noticing successes.

So if you can spend some of this summer letting your child have a chance to do something,

noticing when they do it right, noticing the success,

that is going to help them believe that they can do it. And as the school year starts, notice the success then, too.

And then, you know, a last thing I'll say is I've mentioned looking at this from the developmental perspective and how,

you know, I'm not going to suggest that a parent do the same thing for a kindergartner that they would for a fourth grader.

So think about building one new skill every school year.

Independence is not going to come overnight, but we want to be starting it earlier. So for a kindergarten heading to school in the fall,

I would focus on recognizing a safe adult.

Who is their teacher this year, who is their lunch aide that's going to be with them in the lunch classroom. Typically,

each class is assigned a different lunch aide. Learn that person's name, learn their face, help your child recognize the safe adult in first grade.

A year from then, know their allergy. A lot of families will have their child have an allergy bracelet. That's amazing. So safe and trusted adults can read it. But by the time your child is 6 and 7, they should really be able to know their allergies and start to be able to list them in second grade again,

that's that. Eight, nine.

We are looking for knowing symptoms, you know,

starting to really recognize anaphylaxis and be able to communicate that clearly to a person.

And then in third grade,

this is when independence becomes a little bit more clear. Have them practice speaking up,

maybe ordering for themselves,

saying, I can't, you know, have this. I'm looking for xyz.

And then in fourth grade, start knowing their emergency plan, you know, looping them into conversation of this is what your emergency action plans looks like.

I've talked about it before, Caroline. There's a certain level of anxiety that's necessary because being anxious about something, worried about something, that's your body's way of telling you, I need to check the label again.

Does this have this? You know,

that is important.

So independence doesn't create no anxiety. And in the end, we don't actually want fearless children. We want prepared children.

We want prepared children that know what to do and have that confidence. And I already said this, that confidence that can only come from doing.

Caroline: I love this. Because if you keep doing this every year until your child gets to college,

they're going to be ready for college.

This is such a perfect basis.

Emery: Thanks, Caroline. And you're absolutely right. One skill every single year, and eventually every parent's hope is going to be sending their child off into the world as a strong, capable, you know, child and young adult that can manage their food allergies well.

And that comes through stacking these skills.

Caroline: So powerful. This is great information.

Now, turning our attention over to food allergy safety because it is so incredibly important,

but so is helping children feel included. How can parents strike that balance between teaching caution and allowing their child to build that confidence, independence and friendships and everything we've been talking about,

I think

Emery: having what you just posed as two separate conversations.

So the caution and safety needs to be one conversation and then inclusion a separate conversation.

I think it's somewhat challenging,

you know,

in America at least, that so much of activities and fun events at schools is food based. You know, I work at a school in New Jersey and every party there's a food based element to it.

You know, class, parents bringing in snacks,

doing this, doing that.

But my question to ask would be, does it have to be?

And a lot of parties can have a lot of fun with playing games.

You know,

so many holidays if you're giving out little trinkets, it doesn't have to be food it can be a pencil, it can be an eraser. You know, so making sure that as far as inclusion goes, that the conversation goes beyond just school staff,

but asking schools for who is going to be the class party parents this year and can I have their contact? Can I talk to them?

Can I reach out to the Home and School association from my school? Are they having an ice cream social this year? What can I do to make sure that there's an allergen friendly table or a vegan ice cream available at this event?

Even if it's just my child,

it could be two children, it could be 10.

Right.

But so that it's not just always the food allergy parent that's bringing in these things. It's looping in and empowering others.

Because that goes really far as far as inclusion goes.

And then really,

as a parent working on who are my children's friends that understand their allergies?

I'm sure that this was the case for your children too, Caroline. But some of my closest friends often took my allergies just as seriously as I did, or sometimes even more seriously than I did.

So building up those children and encouraging,

you know, the kids that you're. That your kids have chosen to be friends with to make sure that they are a true partner in allergies, too. You know, when I talked about the prep framework and that p being partner, I said partner with your child.

But hey, also partner with your child's friends as partner,

they are going to become future advocates as well. And you never know where that can go.

Caroline: Thank you for breaking that down and giving us those extra tips. Again, you're just this fountain of knowledge. But our time has come to an end today.

So before we say goodbye, is there anything else you want our listeners to hear from you?

Emery: You know,

a lot of our conversation today, Caroline, we circle back to this idea of confidence and caution. You know, we talked a lot about safety. We talked a lot about confidence.

And I just want all our parent listeners, all our caregivers, caregiver listeners, to attach to this idea that children are not going to develop this confidence because we tell them they're safe.

We know that there is a lot of risk in the world.

They are developing this confidence because they've practiced what to do when something unexpected happens and when we're looking at these elementary school years and how to be prepared,

it's important to know that something unexpected will happen.

It's how your child's going to respond and how you're going to respond that matters. And ultimately will lead to an outcome that produces competence and confidence.

Caroline: Thank you again for such practical, realistic,

actionable advice. I just can't thank you enough because you bring such a unique perspective because you've walked it and you've lived it,

and then now you're working with it professionally. So thank you so much for your time and sharing your wisdom, and I look forward to our next podcast as we continue this conversation.

Emery: Me too, Caroline. And thank you.

Caroline: Before we say goodbye today, we just want to thank Kaleo one more time for their kind sponsorship.

Thank you for listening to FAACT's Roundtable podcast. Stay tuned for future episodes coming soon.

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Have a great day and always be kind to one another.