Resilience and Renewal in the Face of Personal Adversity |EP206

Embark on an inspiring odyssey with Australian entrepreneur Leigh as he recounts his trailblazing journey from academic beginnings to the helm of a UK digital marketing agency, working with industry giants like Silver Cross and Mercedes Formula One. In a candid revelation, Leigh opens up about the personal earthquake of a bone cancer diagnosis, shedding light on how such profound challenges can lead to a redefined understanding of fear, fortify family bonds, and instill a renewed sense of purpose. As your host Donna Eade, I'm thrilled to guide you through Leigh's narrative, weaving a tapestry of resilience and the embodiment of work-life synergy. 

This conversation takes a curious look at the anatomy of our ambitions, dissecting the ephemeral rush of New Year's resolutions and our quest to sustain them through the year's ebb and flow. I'll share the potent concoctions that can revitalize our goals—from vision boards to the daily rituals of affirmations—gestures that anchor us to our innermost desires. Together, we'll traverse the landscape of personal and professional milestones, embracing not only the peaks but also the valleys that shape our path to success. Join us for a heart-to-heart on the potent acts of aligning values with action, the beauty of embracing life's hurdles as catapults toward our dreams, and the art of nurturing patience in a world that craves instant gratification.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:51

You're listening to the Mindset and Action podcast, the place to be to grow and streamline your business. I'm your host, donna Eade. Let's jump into the show. Your purpose explains what you're doing with your life. Your vision explains how you're living your purpose. Your goals enable you to realize your vision. Bob Proctor, welcome back to the podcast. Everybody, I'm so glad to have you here today and I also have with me a lovely guest, lee. Welcome to the podcast.

Speaker 2: 1:29

Thank you, donna, thank you for having me and hello to your listeners.

Speaker 1: 1:33

It's unusual for us to have guys on the podcast. I have to say I would like more guys on the podcast, but they have been few and far between. So when I get a guy on the podcast I'm always very excited to share, because I do have male listeners and I feel like sometimes they feel a little left out with all the female energy that comes out of this podcast. So thank you for coming on.

Speaker 2: 1:52

Pleasure, pleasure. Hopefully I can bring some good male energy then.

Speaker 1: 1:56

Brilliant. So what I would like to do first is for you to introduce yourself to my listeners. Let them know a little bit about your background, what it is that you do and how you came to me to doing what you do, because I think that's a fascinating story.

Speaker 2: 2:11

Sure, thank you. Yes, so you might be able to detect by my accent a little bit that I do have an Australian accent. I was born in Australia and lived there until I was 19, to a British mother and an Australian father, so my mum was from Leeds originally. When I got to 19, I'd finished university, or I started university over there and just decided I wanted to see some of the world, so packed up my bag at 19 and said I'm off, I'll see you in a year. I want to discover myself and find out what life's really about and make the.

Speaker 2: 2:47

I guess it didn't seem brave or bold to me at the time, but all my friends thought wow, what are you doing? You know, because a lot of Australians don't even go out of Australia and it was one of the greatest decisions I made because it did. It made me grow up, it helped me to see some other parts of the world and other cultures. So I decided that I wanted to stay and went to university over here for six years on an evening, got a degree in business and IT and in my final year of that degree the university supported me in starting my business, which was the digital marketing agency. Digital marketing had only just really started then. This was 2006. So I started offering Google Ads and quite quickly found some great customers, one of them being Silver Cross, the Prime company, one of the most prestigious British brands.

Speaker 1: 3:45

I used to get pushed around in one of those when I was a baby.

Speaker 2: 3:49

Yeah, the old brands. Most people recognise them from the old brands with the big wheels Very, very historical brand for Britain, and that relationship went on for nine years. So I did a lot of digital marketing for them. Fantastic, fantastic company to work for and the owner was brilliant until he sold in, I think in 2015, and was to the Chinese or something like that. I can't remember. Anyway, we'd moved on as a business by then anyway.

Speaker 2: 4:18

So, yeah, 2006 started as an agency, a small agency, got up to about five staff, but then children came along and I was recognising that I was working way too much and not being present and was basically copying what my dad had done. Again, my dad was a fantastic guy, still is a fantastic guy, but he worked hard. So we didn't spend a lot of time together and I didn't want that. I didn't want that for my kids. So I turned it more into a bit of a lifestyle business. Again, we worked with some great brands. We helped the Mercedes Formula One team for a few years. So, again, all of this sounds fantastic. You know you're growing an agency, you've got a lifestyle business and it was good.

Speaker 2: 5:01

I'm not ungrateful for it, but it did get to the point where I was feeling unfulfilled. I was helping a lot of these businesses grow big and sell a commodity and I was like I really want something more out of life. So I had this sort of longing that I wanted to do something more with what I was doing. And then I was a bit discontent, bit of unsettlement, with the where we were. So 2019, I started to think about coaching. I wasn't really sure what that was going to look like, but thought you've got 17 years of experience learning and teaching about digital marketing, let's start with that. Then, on the 1st of August 2019, which is the morning of my twin boys' birthday I was diagnosed with bone cancer. And usually I was like, oh, I didn't have any fear at all. It was almost like something. A switch went on and said okay, you've created this, something's happened, what are you gonna do to figure it out? And that's how I'd always been as a kid Like I wanna figure things out on my own.

Speaker 2: 6:09

So there was no fear but I had to go home and break it to my wife that we had 15 kids coming around in an hour and she's messaging me going where are you? What's going on? And I'm like, oh my God, I'll come home and tell you how we got these kids coming. So naturally it's more fearful for the people around you. So I said, look, let's just put this to the side for now. Let's just go ahead with the party and we'll discuss what we're gonna do and who we're gonna tell.

Speaker 2: 6:35

Now I didn't want the kids to know. They were 10 years old and until I'd figured it out because the verdict was we never knew how long I was even gonna live. But in my mind I was like I'm gonna figure this out. So I started chemotherapy. Treatment didn't feel good. The drugs weren't making me feel good at all. I wasn't able to show up as the parent that I wanted to be, and then an advert popped up in front of me from an old gentleman that said you're always not working, why don't you try mine? And that was the moment where things started to shift and change in my life.

Speaker 1: 7:12

Wow, wow, your pinnacle moment. I love that. I love that and I think it's well. First of all, I mean, you end there on quite a note for sure, tell everybody where you are and you know, because that was a while ago now. So how are you health-wise? Is it all good? Did you get there all clear? How long have we been in remission? All of that just so that people aren't worried because we do. We worry as people, absolutely.

Speaker 2: 7:45

So, just to let everybody know, I'm absolutely fine and I did get over it pretty quickly, yeah. So what happened with that guy? He became my mentor. His name was Bob Ropter. He'd helped people in the personal development industry for over 60 years and because I was looking, he popped up. Now there's lots of people that do personal development or whatever, but for me, it was like I wanted someone who had some experience and could tell me some home truths that I've probably needed to hear. So he became my mentor. He actually passed away at early 2022. He was 89, but he was coaching us up until a week before he passed. Oh wow, super super guy. Yeah, there's lots of stuff about him online and the hands-on forth. Great coach for me. And he said everything begins with your thoughts. You are thinking something that's manifesting in your body. So you've got a choice you either be truthful about it and get to the court or crutch the foot now. That'll help you get over it.

Speaker 2: 8:48

So from a kid I'd always held things in and, like a lot of men do in particular, we're good at holding in our emotions. So I never knew how to deal with that emotion. It didn't matter what I was doing. Let's say, in business, I was doing something and it wasn't working. I'd project that everything was okay, but actually internally I was going, I failed there and I don't want people to know. And really holding it in my bones, I feel like I did it, yeah, yeah, and do that for 30 years, every single day.

Speaker 2: 9:20

Naturally your body becomes toxic and stressed or whatever. So the easy option for me to do was to continue with the treatment. But I'd lost two friends in the previous couple of years to going through chemotherapy and so forth. I thought I don't want to do that. I want to have a look at a different way. So I stopped the drug after about a month and my wife had said to me you're not enjoying this, are you? I said no, not at all. I said I'm not. She goes. Why don't you stop? I said well, actually I stopped yesterday. She goes.

Speaker 1: 9:51

I know you and I know you would have.

Speaker 2: 9:53

However, I want you to. If it gets worse, that you'll go back, and I said, just let me go down this path. I believe in it. So I started to visualize what I wanted my life to look like and when it all sort of kicked off, what was how? I was playing football with my kids, but I just didn't have the energy to continue playing. So the new version or the new vision that I was looking at was seeing myself playing football with my kids and being healthy. Seeing me and my wife walking at the beach with the dog and talking about our future plans for holidays and where we want to go, and at first, my life.

Speaker 2: 10:27

At that point we didn't look anything like it. My business was challenging me. I wasn't able to do either of those things. I'd had a diagnosis that I didn't feel well. I was at the hospital every week having blood tests and even still through that I still felt pretty good as in positive about it. But I didn't want to just have a positive mindset and it almost be like what actions do I need to take that actually shift this?

Speaker 1: 10:50

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 10:51

So, doing the visualization, after about two months I could start to feel a shift. And then after about three months, I went and had a blood test. So they gave me a blood test every three months, the first one. Okay, things are starting to look good, the drugs are working. I didn't tell them that I wasn't taking them. Three months later I go back for the second blood test and they're like unbelievable, the drugs work in. Fantastic. You're in remission. Wow, got something to tell you? I haven't been taking the drug. Eastern European lady she was like you don't know what you're doing.

Speaker 1: 11:30

Have you just looked at the blood test?

Speaker 2: 11:33

But I'm very, very grateful to her and her team, because what they supported me through and took me through was amazing. I just chose not and I didn't know if it was gonna work on them. I certainly didn't want them to judge me and say, hey, get back on it. However, they did, yeah. So for me that was a big catalyst to sort of go okay, just the way I'm thinking, just the way I'm feeling, if I reprogram that and look at it a different way for my health and it can do this, what happens if I apply it to my relationships with my children and my wife and my customers? And then what happens if I apply it to my business and what I wanna do. That's where the trajectory of my life changed.

Speaker 1: 12:12

Amazing, amazing story. I love that and it leads us really nicely into what I want us to talk about today, which is our visions. And I think it's safe to say that we all kind of start the year with gusto. And it's a new year, it's a fresh page, and even though we all know that every day is a new day and we can make choices based in that and we don't have to sort of stick with what we put down on January 1st, I think we just all do generally use it as this fresh start and clean slate, new page, create a new vision. I did a vision board workshop on the 7th of January, created my vision board. It's right here on my screen. I absolutely love it and I think we all kind of do things like that and then go through the planning process, setting goals.

Speaker 1: 13:05

But it comes to this time of the year and, as we're releasing this episode, it's all the 15th of February. All the good intentions have gone out the window. We're back on the chocolate, we're eating takeaway pizza because we haven't got the energy to cook, the vision is not in the forefront of our mind anymore and things start to slip. So I would love to hear from you, somebody who has had some really powerful results from vision and creating that vision for yourself. How do we keep those visions sort of vibrant and those goals in the forefront of our mind when things start to time goes by and we fall back into old patterns? So what would you say for people about that?

Speaker 2: 13:55

The first thing is to have the awareness of that pattern. So if you notice that you've written down something that you would love, yeah, first it's to notice. Okay, am I actually stopping doing that now? And you quite often see people do this with their health. So the beauty about If it's a health goal or vision that you've got, there's only you that's in control of that. There's no other people involved. If it's a relationship or it's a business, there's other people. So that can be a bit more challenging.

Speaker 1: 14:22

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 14:23

So for me, I noticed that in the past I would have these dreams or visions and then my old conditioning would come in and pull me back. However, I didn't know that's what it was doing at the time. It wasn't until I learned these skills. So what happens now is when you notice that you're starting to drift or not do it, what you've got to do is reconnect with that vision. So, like you mentioned before, you've got that vision board there. So anytime that you start to feel okay today I'm not feeling it go back and sit and look at that vision board. Now, some people like it visually.

Speaker 2: 15:01

For me, I like to write it down the power of writing it down and then listening to it on record. So, even when you're going after some of those things, some of them are going to take time and you require a different level of skill. So for me, for my health, I needed to picture myself playing football with my boys. Okay, but the skill I had to do was I had to learn to do visualization every day and do a form of meditation. Now, I'm not talking about sitting there and being a monk. I'm talking about just 10 to 15 minutes of silence where I just had my eyes shut and was seeing myself doing that. Now the old version of me, prior to being told I had bone cancer we'd never have done that. It's all woo-hoo. It's all woo-hoo. I don't need that. I'm a strong male. You just get up and you grind and work hard.

Speaker 1: 15:50

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 15:51

But for 25 years. That didn't actually get me the result I wanted, and if anything got me a result, I didn't want. So when I started to apply this and saw it happen, I was like I can do this in a much easier way, and actually it's quite nice to sit and have these moments to just you know, what would I love? And that's the most powerful question you can ever ask yourself in any situation. So, if you're challenged with your kids, okay, stop. What would I love? Well, I'd love to have a relationship where I'm more calm and less reactive. Okay, it's your responsibility then, because the kids are popping here. If it's your business, what would you love your business to look like? Who do I want to serve? Do I want to grow a podcast? Okay, what type of people do I want to listen to this podcast and what do I want it to look like? Okay, now, what steps can I take to make that happen?

Speaker 2: 16:42

And again, as you find, because you're going to, your old conditioning will always try to pull you back to where it's safe. Just pause at that moment, reconnect with that vision, whether it's written down or it's a vision board, and if you do that and get into the habit of doing it, even daily. I still do it now daily because my visions for what I saw in my life to look like in that first year. I'm way past them now and where I want my life to go in the next three years from now. I'm working on some of those things and some of those things are taking some considerable patience. There's no instant gratification, but I just keep reconnecting to it because I know this process works when you just keep going. Okay, don't allow your old patterns to come in. Just keep reconnecting to that thing that you love.

Speaker 1: 17:29

I think that's so important and that's something that I implemented, because I did a vision board the year before and I set it as my screen saver. I then did some values work and I set my values as my screen saver and I didn't even print off my vision board. I don't even remember what it looked like. And this year I said it's going on my computer and when I sit down to start working the morning I spend five minutes looking at that and then visualizing what that looks like in reality. So I love that you said that. So for people who perhaps haven't ever created a vision board or created a vision for themselves in any other way, or who find setting goals difficult, what are the parameters that you would suggest for creating this space where we have the time and the stuff in front of us that's going to help us to create that vision?

Speaker 2: 18:25

First and foremost, you've got to use your imagination. Now, quite often, we're very good, especially as we get older, of limiting that imagination and you think, well, what could I have? You've got to put all of that to the side and go, no, what would I love? That's the question you ask, and you put money to the side, you put time to the side or any obstacles or challenges you've currently got. What would I love If everything was to work out? How would I like it to look?

Speaker 2: 18:52

Then, when you've got that down, what that becomes is like your powerful statement where you go okay, what steps or goals can I put in place now to make that happen? And then that's the most important part there, where you start to go okay, I've thought about it, how does it make me feel when I do it? Is it in alignment with my values? Can it help other people? And then, what action steps gonna take? And then what that does is just start training you to take action on it, because there's lots of people who do do visualization or create vision boards I want a bigger house, I want to go on holiday and then they sit waiting for it to come. And unfortunately, the universe doesn't do that All it does is give you other lessons to say, hey, if you want these things, you need to take some steps and grow.

Speaker 1: 19:39

Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. I love that. I love that. Okay, so sometimes when we are creating a vision, we can do that. We take the action.

Speaker 1: 19:51

I'm an action taker, I have an accountability buddy and she's the person who's going to sit there and sort of really get into the weeds of the deep planning and structure, and she wants to have all of her ducks in a row, whereas I'm just like, no, I'm just gonna go and do it. So I'm very much the action person and she's the planner. So we balance each other out nicely. But when you've got that vision and you kind of take that action but things aren't happening on the timeline that you anticipate I think that's one of the things that it's always we want it on our timeline, and when it doesn't happen and we think we're doing all the work, it's really easy to kind of give up on that. What would you say to people who are kind of like but I'm doing all the things, I've got the vision, I've got the plan, I've taken the action it's not happening for me. What do you say to those people?

Speaker 2: 20:47

Once I actually applied this to my health, I think, because I had something so burning it happened pretty quickly for me. So I was like, wow, this is amazing. However, when I then stepped into wanting to grow my business, that became more of a challenge. So I had a vision. I was doing and taking action, and things were not showing up in the timeframe that I hoped for, and that was a challenging moment to be in. So for your listeners that get into that, know that actually, what's happening there is you're getting valuable lessons and it's being or allowing yourself to be able to stop and go okay, what is the lesson that I'm getting you? So you're teaching yourself to say, okay, this is what it looks like as it's all working out, and at the moment I don't have the skill or the knowledge in this particular step that I'm taking, so let's start just looking at that rather than stopping and going oh, this isn't for me, or you know it's meant for somebody else and not me. It is meant for you. But what's happening right there is you're at that limit where you need to persist and figure out okay, what? So for me, I had to.

Speaker 2: 21:57

It was like okay, I want the first three months of me growing a coaching business, I didn't have a customer and I was like, okay, why is this happening? Because I needed to learn the skill to be able to talk to people and find out what their problem was and then help them solve it. The old business that I had was this is the service that we have and if you need it, come to me. So it was easy, Whereas this one was actually I needed to understand. So once I'd learned that part, okay, what's the next step? Okay, now I need to be able to amplify this. Okay, what's the next step?

Speaker 2: 22:27

Actually, you've got a couple of customers here that don't align with your values. Okay, now I've got some values and some standards and the types of people that I like to help that align with me. It doesn't mean ones that don't have the values up. They're probably better for somebody else. So, when you're in it knowing that, okay, I need to do some growth here, and the thing that I like to do is go. Okay, if this took me three years, what steps could I take today? And that takes the pressure off, because a lot of people, like you said, want to have it by tomorrow or by the end of next week or by the end of the month, and sometimes you can have that vision or that goal and miss. I missed one by a year, but actually I'll look back at that. That was the year I grew the most, so I'm grateful for that lesson when I was in it.

Speaker 2: 23:17

I'm not gonna tell you that I enjoyed it, but I stopped every day and sort of went. This is what it looks like and actually I'm doing the same thing right now. And even you, growing your podcast, you're doing the same thing, and if you want to help more people, you have to go through these levels of growth. Can it be uncomfortable? Yeah, but you can make it really uncomfortable and not enjoy it, or look at the lessons and go great, and again the old version of me didn't. I didn't want to fail.

Speaker 1: 23:44

Yeah, yeah, oh. Failure is not an option for so many people. Oh, that is just such a good outlook on life and I think, especially at this time of year, when people are kind of maybe waning on their New Year's resolutions and plans that they had, it's a good one to bring us back to that vision and that bigger plan that we have for ourselves. So thank you so much for sharing that with us. So, before we go, I would love it if you could tell people a little bit about how you work and how people could work with you.

Speaker 2: 24:21

Yeah. So right now I'm coaching a lot of business owners. So if you have a business and you're trying to expand that, I use a lot of the skills from my days of growing businesses like Silver Cross, mercedes, so forth and just helping you not only focus on the tasks that you can do for your business, but also the tasks you can do for yourself, because I know I got stuck at that point of always doing things for the business but not actually looking after the things that are in line with my value. So I want everybody to have a vision for what their life looks like and then we look at how do we execute that. Best places. Just follow me on social media first, linkedin, youtube, instagram.

Speaker 2: 25:06

I post videos. It's more for people to get to know, like and trust about what I'm doing and then if at that point, you want to step over and learn some more, you can otherwise keep consuming the videos and learn from those. So you know, my objective is just to share this information with as many people as I can. So you know, I've even started writing a book now, which would never you know. That will be my legacy and would be from the stories from the people that we help.

Speaker 1: 25:35

Yeah, brilliant. Ok, I will make sure that all these socials are linked in the show notes guy so you can go over and follow him, just so you know. Twinkle has now come and sat on my lap, so my listeners are used to Twinkle being around in the background. Usually the mic doesn't pick her up too much, but sometimes she can be a little bit loud. So just a warning. So before we wrap up, I have a quick fire round that I do with my guests to help us get to know you a little bit more and cover some interesting facts. So first of all I would love to ask you what is your book that has made the biggest impact on your life thus far?

Speaker 2: 26:18

The Power of the Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy. It's the one the first book I've read which really helped me start to understand these principles and it's very, very easy to digest. And it's actually the one I give is a gift to people, because as a starting point it is. It is brilliant. It covers all areas of life and you can apply the principles into your own life just by reading the notes.

Speaker 1: 26:44

Yeah, brilliant, brilliant, it sounds fantastic. The Subconscious Mind is something that came into my world last year in a big way, with me doing the values work with my vitality coach. So yeah, the power of the subconscious mind. It's amazing. So that's a great book. I will link that for you guys in the show notes, as usual. What is your favourite go to snack when you're in a hurry? We could tell a lot.

Speaker 2: 27:08

I would like to go to the most is mango, blueberries and red grapes, because I always enjoy it, but sometimes I find myself grabbing the stuff that I shouldn't be grabbing, but yeah that's a real, real, don't we all?

Speaker 1: 27:22

I like it. So your favourite snack is a good one, so I like that. And what is your ultimate me time thing to do?

Speaker 2: 27:30

I love getting out into nature, so, whether that's predominantly walking, I love the Yorkshire Dales, I love getting out in the sunny day. So for me I think it's the peacefulness of it and then the beauty of the scenery. I guess, coming from Australia, yes, we have some wonderful scenery and wonderful animals and so forth, but it's not on the level of the Dales.

Speaker 1: 27:52

That's true, it's very green out there. I love that and I really like asking that question to my male guests because I think a lot of times it's seen as a bit of a female thing. You know your alter, your self care thing to do. But it's really nice to to have a male perspective on things. It's really nice to hear your answers to that and also to just this whole episode, which I think a lot of guys can resonate with that whole. You know, I'm the guy I can do it. I've got all the plates, I can handle everything and locking all the emotions inside.

Speaker 1: 28:30

So it's really nice to get a guy on here talking about how you move past that, because I think I've had women on here that are coaches that talk about similar things. But often you need to hear it from somebody who knows where you're coming from and I think a lot of guys kind of don't know they're talking about that boo boo stuff again, and it doesn't hit as well as it can when it comes from somebody who who's just just as much of a guy as you are. So I really appreciate your thoughts and perspectives today. Lee, thank you so much for joining me.

Speaker 2: 29:01

Yeah, thank you for that. And just for those guys that are listening, don't leave it till the last minute, like I did. I left it way too long and getting over that vulnerability took me a while, but when I was able to do it, things shifted and changed in my life. So I highly recommend Don't leave it till it's too late.

Speaker 1: 29:19

Yeah, take a step, just take a step, that's all it takes. One step, brilliant. Thank you so much for joining me today. Thank you, guys for listening in. Make sure that you are subscribed where you listen so you don't miss out on more fantastic interviews in the months to come, and I will see you in the next one. Bye for now.