How to Prevent Employee Burnout with Milena Regos of Unhustle

Toxic work environments (and burnout) is the #1 reason employees quit their jobs.

Milena Regos is a “burnout expert.” An award winning marketer who had her own burnout experience - that led her to found the “Unhustle” movement.

Restaurant culture has been based on Hustle since the beginning of time.  

YET … the majority of restaurant workers are BURNED OUT. Over-stressed. Over-worked. Under-paid. Under-appreciated. Under-rewarded. 

Add to that a thinning workforce and severe labor shortages… and we have an industry in peril. 

Creating a Healthy Work Culture that Prioritizes Employee Care IS JOB #1!

Things you’ll hear about:

• Nearly 1 million restaurant workers are burned out (80%)
• The definition - and signs of - burnout
• Generational changes in how work is performed 
• Why “work-life balance” is a dated, irrelevant term and LifeWorkPlay Design is not.
• The power of building strong relationships and friendships at work. 
• The need for Well-being in the workplace & open honest dialogue 
• Creating harmony between humans and companies
• One in three Americans had their first job at a restaurant
• Do you work to live or live to work? 

Join the Unhustle Movement - it’s good for humans and good for business. 

Milena is a global speaker who is educating, leading and inspiring others to create sustainable success by prioritizing well-being and purpose as a path to achieve optimal performance. Follow, learn and connect with her here:

• https://unhustle.com/
• https://unhustle.com/podcast/

Resources:

• Who Comes First? The Employee or  Guest?
• What’s Self-Care Got to Do With It?
• We're in the People Business

Still wondering … what is Unhustle? It is “ a counterintuitive approach to how we live and work that leads to increased well-being, focus, purpose and performance.” 

Check out Qu's Annual State of Digital for Enterprise QSR & Fast Casual Brands

Transcript

Qu - Restaurants Reinvented - Milena Regos

[00:00:00] Jen Kern: Hey, this is Jen. Thanks so much for stopping by Restaurants reinvented. Today's guest is Milena Regos. She's the Creator and Founder of Unhustle. Milena describes Unhustle as quote, "A counterintuitive approach to how we live and work that leads to increased wellbeing, focus purpose and performance."

[00:00:46] She's been lauded as amazing by Arianna Huffington and featured in many global news outlets, including Harvard Business Review, CNN, NPR and others. Now, Milena was an award-winning marketer who dealt with her own burnout experience, which caused her to found the organization. As you can imagine, it's caught on, like, wildfire in many circles and has turned into a movement to redefine how we live and work.

[00:01:12] Now, you might be wondering, "Okay, Jen. This sounds a little squishy, a little bit of woo-woo stuff. What does all this really have to do with me and my restaurant?" Well, in my humble opinion, just about everything. We all know that since the beginning of time restaurant culture has been based on hustle and what today's labor challenges, restaurants, absolutely must be more intentional about building a better

[00:01:39] environment and taking better care of their employees. And it includes all the things that we talk about today, from wellbeing and self-care to building cultures that people actually want to come work in and stay working in. I hope today's episode gives you some ideas for creating a healthier restaurant team, and more importantly, the healthier you. Enjoy. Hello everyone and welcome back to Restaurants Reinvented. I am Jen Kern, the hostess here at the show. And today with me, I'm so excited, I have Milena Regos, from the Unhustle movement. Hello, Milena.

[00:02:13] Milena Regos: Hi, Jen. Thank you for having me. 

[00:02:15] Jen Kern: Thanks for being here. Well, I'm really excited to talk with you today. I mean, we've had a few chats before this, just, you know, in total transparency and lots of great chats. And I know that you have done some research on restaurants, which is fantastic, but I want to just kick off by saying, you know, I've been running this labor series, which I've told you about and there's the great reshuffling and the great resignation and now the great reexamination and the great everything,

[00:02:39] right? But, what's really going on is an issue with culture and needing to improve culture and leadership and lifestyles of restaurant workers. So, I'm excited to have you on, to talk about all those things. And by way of introduction, can you give everyone your little background? What is Unhustle?

[00:02:57] Milena Regos: Thank you. Thank you, Jane. And I'm excited to talk with you. Unhustle is a rebellion basically to live and work well. We want to flip the script on redefining success, what the success mean for us as a human being, as a collectively, as a society and what is really important and meaningful and purposeful in our lives

[00:03:17] and how do we go about putting our life first, creating a life that matters and doing the work that excites us and brings us the financial security that we need, right, and doing all of this with purpose and joy and meaning. And so, it is really the opposite of hustle

[00:03:36] culture. I see a big need personally, but also collectively as a society, to look at what are we doing.

[00:03:45] The way we're working is broken, right? We're burned out. We're overstretched, overworked, stressed out, mental health is on the rise, so how do we change all of this thinking, the way we do business so that it's good for the human, but it's also good for the bottom line. 

[00:04:01] Jen Kern: Right. That’s awesome. And I know that your movement has gained global recognition, so kudos to you on 

[00:04:07] that. It definitely caught my attention. I just saw the word and I was like, "What does that mean? I want to know what that means, and I want to know more about it. Unhustle, it sounds interesting." And maybe that's my age and stage in life,

[00:04:18] I don't know, but I spent a big portion of my life hustling like nobody's business and then got to the age, yeah, I know you have a cool story, I got to the age of 50 and was just like, "I'm exhausted." And then the pandemic hit and I'm like, "Thank you. Thank you." Yeah. So, it's really good stuff. It's really good stuff.

[00:04:38] And I've been asking myself after I heard some of your talks and read some of your articles, I've been asking myself, "Is there a labor shortage in restaurants or is there a wellbeing shortage?" 

[00:04:49] What's say you? 

[00:04:50] Milena Regos: That's a really interesting way of putting it. And yeah, I mean, you and I are about the same age, so we've gone down that road of work, work, work, work and then one day, someday, if you're lucky, you get to retire and do what you love. But young people don't see it that way, right? They’re like, "I want to live now.

[00:05:09] I want to have a meaningful life now. I want to do something that, that brings me joy and purpose every day now." And so they don't want to wait. They don't want the house and the car and the, I mean, they want to have money and they want to be well off, but they don't necessarily want to go down that road of, "I'm going to be in the same career for 20 years."

[00:05:27] Right? No one, no one does that anymore. I don't think. So, there is a societal awakening, right? And we're seeing it. We're seeing it with the great resignation and the numbers of how many people are burned out, how many people are seeking more meaning and purpose in their lives, with seeing ripples and I'm excited because

[00:05:48] it's more and more of us talk about this. We're going to start slowly, shifting that conversation really comes down to, "Let's replace hustle culture with human culture and let's live our lives now and still do high-quality work."

[00:06:03] Jen Kern: Right. And so what is human culture?

[00:06:06] Milena Regos: So, human-centered culture, the way I look at this, is the opposite of hustle culture, right? If you look at the hustle culture is you exert yourself to the max, you're constantly doing, all your focus and energy is on work and you’re struggling, right? You’re struggling, striving. Human-centered culture starts from the top.

[00:06:25] It starts with leadership. It starts with having more emphasis on these soft skills, which for a really long time we've put in the back-burner, so, empathy, vulnerability, treating humans as humans. And in, I speak to more about white-color knowledge workers, but in the case of the restaurant industries, like, okay, deep loosening,

[00:06:48] treating people the way they want to be treated, not the way you want to be treated because that's not really being in their shoes, having more of open mind, positive workforce, giving people flexibility in how they work, when they work, being more open to providing learning resources. That's kind of really what young people want. And all of these things, you know, I can keep going about describing it, but it's what makes us human. Let's treat each other as, as,

[00:07:18] with more emphasis on what makes us human, what humans want and the benefit to that is that it shows an increase in performance for the company. So, more of, like, conscious capitalism, as opposed just this big orientation on maximizing profits at all costs and in that case, the cost is the human. 

[00:07:40] Jen Kern: Right. And, you know, you touched on a really interesting generational point because 75% of the workers in restaurants are between the ages of 16 and 25. So, and you talk about, I mean, I have kids in that age frame as well, and you talk about the generational shift of how we were brought into the workforce

[00:08:00] and I know you're a first-generation from, a Bulgarian. You were, right, born and raised in Bulgaria. You came here in your twenties. Yeah, for college. And I can imagine how hard you were working, right? And I was raised that same way, like, work your butt off to make that career climb and get the next thing.

[00:08:20] And that, the kids nowadays aren't like that. That generation, that's 16 to 25 age group, they are looking for joy in life, like you say. They're looking for an experience. So, they're looking at other things. They don't want to just grind, grind, grind, grind. It's not the, it's not the way it is. So, I know you pulled some stats for restaurants.

[00:08:40] I'd love for you to share those with us because this whole idea of burnout has become kind of a buzz word as well, self-care, kind of a buzz word, but what are some of the statistics you saw in restaurants, in terms of burnout that even precedes the pandemic?

[00:08:53] Milena Regos: Absolutely. Yeah. So, based on my research, about higher than 80% of people in the restaurant industry are burned out. And we already know that burnout is a really big thing. I think 77% of employees in general are burned out. It's even higher in the restaurant industry and it’s the grind, right?

[00:09:09] It’s, and during the pandemic,

[00:09:11] a lot of people lost their jobs, so there's a lot of stress, there’s a lot of pressure. These 80%, 52% of the food service and hospitality workers left their job in 2020, so more than half of people left their job. That's 1.8 million jobs, right? And about 960,000 hospitality employees experienced burnout last year.

[00:09:35] So, we're dealing quite a large population of people going, "I'm exhausted." So, let's define ‘burnout’, right? Um, well, there's some of the, burnout is basically chronic stress that has not been managed successfully. And burnout, in my opinion, people think it's a personal thing, but oftentimes it's really an organizational thing.

[00:09:57] So, some of the causes for burnout are unsustainable workload, which organizational issue, perceived lack of control, so people really thrive on more of autonomy and flex, we talk about flexibility in the workforce, but world needs more autonomy. Insufficient rewards for effort, so how are you treating your employees or not treating,

[00:10:23] so if they're not seeing that rewards for their efforts, it may result in burnout. Lack of supportive community, lack of fairness and mismatched values and skills. So, if you put somebody in too challenging of a position, that, it's going to push him into an anxiety mode. If you put them in too boring of a position, they gonna be bored,

[00:10:44] it may end up still in burnout. So, it's matching their skills to their challenge, right? Now, some of the signs of burnout, what somebody can watch for, whether you’re in a leadership position or in a personal position is exhaustion, you get irritability or impatient, you might get higher sensitivity.

[00:11:06] So, if you ask somebody to do something, they may just completely lose it and that might be a sign of burnout. Increase absentees, so people calling in sick and increased mistakes or accidents. So, all of these things, when you look at the restaurant environment, if some of these burn out, then the customer is not having a good experience. The mistakes happening, people are not treated the way you want to be treated from a customer service perspective, people not showing up for their shifts, so other people have to pick up the slack, so then they end up working extra hours. So, I guess my question is what are we doing in the restaurant industry to prevent burnout?

[00:11:49] Because burnout prevention is a lot easier and less costly then burnout cure, right? Or hiring new employees over and over and having this huge high turnover. And you were just mentioning a restaurant that you love in your area that is actually doing some really specific things. 

[00:12:09] Jen Kern: South Block. 

[00:12:10] Milena Regos: South Block.

[00:12:11] Yes. 

[00:12:11] So, let's talk about that. Yeah. 

[00:12:14] Jen Kern: Yeah, yeah. 

[00:12:15] Milena Regos: Because it’s possible, right?

[00:12:16] You can do things differently even in the restaurant industry, right?

[00:12:20] So, what does he do that you love? 

[00:12:23] Jen Kern: Well, I can tell he's putting his employees first. I can tell that from a guest perspective, from the outside looking in, because a, they're happy, by and large all of his employees, when I walk in there to pick up my smoothie or my juice, or get my acai bowl, they look happy, they greet me with a smile,

[00:12:40] they say, "Welcome." To your point, I love the definition of chronic, the chronic stress. What is burnout? 'Cause I've read different definitions for it. And Donald Burns, who we had on a few episodes ago, talks about it a lot as well and one of his def, definitions is, like, lack of passion. Like, you had six things,

[00:12:56] one of his is, like, that lack of passion. And I was like, "Oh, like, that's probably a common understanding." But when you said 'chronic stress' and then not managing chronic stress well, that is very apparent to people in the hospitality industry. If you're walking into a restaurant and the people working there are super stressed because there is a hus, hustle culture in restaurants, that is the restaurant environment, is like, "Hurry up, take the order. Get the food made. Get the food out.

[00:13:25] 'Cause we're not going to get the food out, the customer is going to be standing there waiting at the table" impatient, right? And you can read all of that just by looking at someone's body language, right? So, some of the things he's doing that he talks about on his podcast is yes, incredible flexibility, like, providing and it, and I can't recall how he does it, but he's got a significant amount flexibility in his schedule, but it's more about his approach to hiring.

[00:13:50] The people that he hires are very typical demographic in the restaurant industry and the age group we talked about, but he hires them with the understanding that they're going to do a 90-day-trial period and see if it's a fit for each other. 

[00:14:02] Milena Regos: I think that's such a great point that you just made though, because that values alignment. Based on everything that I'm reading and researching about gen Z and Millennials, if the values are aligned between the employee and the company, right, then they're going to be a lot more fulfilled and see the meaning of their work, right? So, there's a values alignment that needs to happen. 

[00:14:27] Jen Kern: Right, right. And addition to that, one of the understandings and expectations is that they're going to learn about the business. They're effectively in a mini business school in his restaurant. So, they are learning about P&L statements and these are 16-year-old kids, right? They're learning about how labor costs and costs of good, offset, revenues. They're in a mini business school.

[00:14:52] So, you mentioned earlier, like, not gaining knowledge, access to knowledge, education, training, like, they're learning about running a business, you know, and it's really impressive because it's a structure program and they 

[00:15:04] call it South Block Academy. 

[00:15:06] Milena Regos: Exactly. And so this is the one thing we were talking about before we hit the record, right?

[00:15:10] We’re, we're in a either worker's shortage economy, right? So, where are these people going to come from? Because there's a lot of jobs, not enough people in America, right? Baby boomers are retiring,

[00:15:22] the American population growth is slowing and we on the fifth year trend of not replacing the population. And then one in five gen Z is not interested in going to college. And so it's really interesting when you look at all of these things and you listen to gen Z’s going, "I don't want to go to school training how to do the job and I'll come and do it."

[00:15:41] But what a great opportunity for companies to really create your own workforce. Ashley furniture industries is doing this, right? It’s little bit different from the hospitality industry, but they're like, "We're going to take recruitment in our hands. We can train somebody. People can learn more from TikTok videos than from one month in college just about.

[00:16:02] And so we’re gonna take and build our own economy and people can skip the four-year college that they can't afford anyway and they can skip the 40,000 in debt or however long that is." So, what a great example that is because you can create your own academy, especially if you have, like, a franchise or something, you can train people to do exactly the job you want them to do in less time

[00:16:26] that's going to take them to go to college and you’ve, you’ve built your own workforce, so that’s a great example of what people can do. 

[00:16:33] Jen Kern: Yeah. I mean, he's doing just so many things and you know, and it’s so different from so many other places I walk into, you know, that are fast-casual type places, even like a Starbucks, like, more often than not, they just are not smiling. And some of it goes back to the expectations of hustle culture in restaurants, which is there,

[00:16:54] but he just is really, you know, he's not only teaching them and providing an education like what you're talking about, but then he's helping them walk through and make life-work decisions based on what he's seeing their skills at. So, he also has a really strong, like, a promotional program and training the next store managers, which does become that a full-time salary type of position

[00:17:16] for folks, if that's what they want. But it's matching people up to what they're looking for in that demographic of the 16 to 25-year-olds. Now the kitchen workers tend to be, you know, a little bit older, not as old as us, but they tend to be a little bit, you know, and so you have to also treat the people that work at the restaurant a little bit different.

[00:17:35] And we talked about this, like, meeting people where they are in life.

[00:17:40] Milena Regos: And there's a lot of talk about wellbeing, right? Wellbeing, but I also look at the financial wellbeing, which is huge, especially in the industry, right? If you don't have that financial wellbeing, financial security and in the example, you're giving, sounds like he's offering people a promotion up or to make more money or just to go to a full-time position,

[00:18:00] so that's a huge opportunity for people to say, "Okay, he's treating me fairly. He's given me opportunities to advance in my career" because without the financial wellbeing, your mental wellbeing, emotional wellbeing, physical wellbeing, digital wellbeing, all these other things,

[00:18:16] it's like, "How do we look at this as holistically from a leadership position?" How do you pay people what they're worth, as opposed to, you know, thinking that they're just rental cars and you can use them for a little bit and then return them, right?

[00:18:31] Jen Kern: Right, right. 

[00:18:33] Milena Regos: I think there'll be more of a emphasis on paying people fairly. You know, in Australia,

[00:18:38] I don't know how much you know about the restaurant industry in Australia, but they have a completely different model. They pay their people a much higher hourly wage, much higher. I want to say it's like $27 an hour or something. 

[00:18:53] But Australians don't tip as much. And so when you get a job in a restaurant, you're not counting on tips, you're counting on what are you going to make on an 

[00:19:03] hourly, hourly wage

[00:19:05] and I don't think people move that much around there 'cause if you get a good-paying job, it's actually a decent income. 

[00:19:11] Jen Kern: Yeah. 

[00:19:12] Milena Regos: So, everybody's going to be like, "I'm going to Australia." 

[00:19:14] Jen Kern: Yeah, no. I mean, an organization that is gaining a lot of traction, it's a non-profits, you know, organization in our industry is called CORE, Children of Restaurant Employees and I was talking to the executive director, Sheila, yesterday, actually and it's not even just for the children, it's for the employees themselves

[00:19:34] and it's a nonprofit that is helping them pay their expenses, their household expenses, when they get sick or injured or have any sort of life event. And one of the stats she, she threw out to your point of the financial piece, is one in four restaurant workers cannot afford a medical bill $400 or higher.

[00:19:54] It's like, that's wow. You know, to people like you and me, it's like, "Wow." That could, like, put them out. So, that creates, you know, you go back to that level of stress, 

[00:20:02] it creates an, a significant amount of stress and then the labor shortage. They leave, they can't sustain that. Right.

[00:20:08] So. 

[00:20:09] Milena Regos: That's a whole different conversation with what the healthcare industry can do, right?

[00:20:12] Jen Kern: Yeah, 

[00:20:12] Milena Regos: but, 

[00:20:13] Jen Kern: yeah. 

[00:20:13] Milena Regos: Yeah, you can't, unless you feel secure in how much money you're making, it's really hard to talk about things like what are you doing for fun and play and then we can talk about mental health and we can talk about self-care and the necessity of both of these from an employer perspective and the personal perspective.

[00:20:30] Sure. Of course. Being able to have a regular breaks and regular team checkings and PTR allowance, all these things help, but if you're not making enough money, that, like, looms over your head all the time. That's a huge, huge financial stress is one of the biggest stressors, right? So, what are some ways to manage that

[00:20:52] if, let's say, you're in a position where, where you're not getting paid more, right? That's why so many people leave to begin with 'cause they're looking for, I told you, I spoke with over the restaurant employee, ex restaurant employee, Maria, and she's from your neighborhood, Washington DC, so I interviewed her because I saw her story.

[00:21:12] It's a very powerful story as to how people take control of their lives. And so what happened with her is, you know, she was going down that hospitality route, she was getting promotions, she became a manager, she was great at what she was doing, she kept getting more promotions and more promotions and then the pandemic happened and things got stressful and so one day she realized she yelled at the customer and she caught herself and she said, "What am I?" And I think the customer had, was rightfully yelled at, but, um, she still paused herself and she said, "What am I doing?

[00:21:48] Am I still happy doing what I'm doing or do I want to do something else?" And growing up, she actually had an art education, she was very attracted to the art and so the pandemic kind of woke her up. Her mom had passed away and she remembers her mom asking her, “Well, what does really make you happy?

[00:22:05] What brings you joy? Do you still want to do this?" So, she caught herself and said, "You know what? I think I might be done with it, with the restaurant industry." And so she joined that Great Resignation, but instead of looking for another job, she said, "I'm just going to create what I've always wanted to create

[00:22:21] and that is my art studio." And so she started creating the beautiful glass-blown pieces and trying to build the business with her working, she works longer hours, that's the biggest thing what happens when somebody starts a business, you know, you think I'm going to get out and the grind and then you end up working even longer hours, but she say, "Doesn't feel like work.

[00:22:45] The stress is completely different because I'm doing something that I really enjoy." She's finding her following that, in that project, she's like, "I spend more time with my dad and my dog, which is really important to me." And so there was a values realignment, right, in the whole pandemic. Do you really want to have this jobs or do you want to do something that, that gives you more meaning and purpose,

[00:23:06] even if it's for less money at the beginning, right?

[00:23:09] And there's a huge fear and as, well, the one thing I talk with her about it's like that fear of how do you leave a job that gives you some security to start something that you don't know how it's going to go, right?

[00:23:21] And she says, "The fury is still there.

[00:23:22] It's just on a day-to-day basis." She's like, "I get up, I make my coffee and I go in my studio." It’s her happy place, right?

[00:23:30] So, there's a lot of different ways you can go about do you want to stay in the same job and manage the stress. And there's lots of strategies we can talk about with that perspective, you know, how quickly you can bounce back,

[00:23:44] do you want to look for another job and sometimes, the job may sound great from the outside, but it could just turn into same old, same old, do you do something on your own 

[00:23:55] Jen Kern: yeah.

[00:23:56] Milena Regos: for more autonomy, flexibility and taking control of your income? 

[00:24:00] Jen Kern: Right. And in the restaurant industry, it's all boiling down to how do we make this an attractive place to work? Like, your story's perfect because tons of people left the industry and now it's not just, "How can we bring them back? How do we keep them 

[00:24:14] or mentor them on?" Like, getting back to a mirror at south but "How do we mentor them on to right profession for them?"

[00:24:19] Right? And so it's a lot. It’s a big shift for restaurants and I appreciate you sharing, sharing that story. We didn't tell your story yet, so I'd love for you to talk about your story and how you came to found, speaking of your own business, this Unhustle.

[00:24:34] Milena Regos: Yeah. I mean, my story is a typical story, not in the restaurant industry, but in the marketing industry, which is just, this is a burnout industry where, you know, I was doing really well. I went down marketing career path and I love that, I love the creative aspect of it. And at some point at the time, you know, I was at early adoptive online marketing, digital marketing

[00:24:55] and so I realized that I went down that path really early on, which also led me to creating amazing work with great clients and celebrities and starting communities and building movements. And some point in time, I realized I'm working 18-hour days, I'm constantly in front of some kind of a screen,

[00:25:12] so I had to put my self-care on the back-burner. My health started to deteriorate, I had no

[00:25:17] time to spend with friends, I stopped doing any kind of outside hobbies, so basically all I did was work. And when you end up in that state of all you do is work, even if it thrives, gives you joy at the beginning and it gives you the energy and that high from hustle and dopamine hits all of that,

[00:25:37] at some point at the time, it ends up draining you and when it drains you and depletes you in and you end up burned out, who you are is no longer your job. And so I went down on this existential discovery of, "Who am I and what's my purpose in life? What does life really want out of me? Why are we so stuck in this skeletal productivity and doing all the time? What's going on with time to be, time off, self-care, how are you managing your energy, how you managing your mental health, what does really success look like?" And, you know, we talked about flipping the script on that. I don't look at work-life balance or work-life integration or work-life harmony,

[00:26:17] I mean, any time we start with the word 'work' first, we're putting too much emphasis and attention on the work. I have nothing against hard work and nothing against doing so you can create something meaningful and fulfilling and financially profitable, but I look at life-work-play design because I realized that it starts with taking care of who you are as a person,

[00:26:44] it starts with creating a life that you love, with the experiences that you want to have in your life, surrounded by the people you want to have in your life and then what's the work that can support that lifestyle and what are you doing for play that's regenerating you and replenishing you instead of just being like passive play.

[00:27:04] So, where does all that energy come from? So, I call it life-work-play design, but there's a lot of interesting angles in there for, for people on different income level, right?

[00:27:15] I mean, one of the biggest thing that I get from people is always on the hustle of privilege and I'm a first-generation immigrant, female that realized that success on the outside doesn't mean success on the inside.

[00:27:27] So, when we talk about smiling, I mean, that's one of the first thing you can do when you wake up in the morning, is smile and how do we turn that constant narrative in our head into something that's positive? What's the outlook, you know, you want to have on life? And to your point, in the restaurant industry, learning, all, a lot of young people want is to learn and to evolve as human beings

[00:27:53] and so how do you provide opportunities to young people to evolve, whether it's through promotions or through some something else they want to learn? Are you really asking people about what brings them joy at the end of the day? What's the path that they want to take in their life or are you trying to just gain everything you can from them from 8 to 5? Because people are going to change anyway, right? I realized that early in my career 'cause I used to work with gen Z and Millennials and I used to get really frustrated 'cause I'm like, "I want to train them and I want them on the, keep them to work for my company, you know, for as long as I can." And it just doesn’t work that way.

[00:28:28] Jen Kern: Yeah. 

[00:28:28] Milena Regos: People move on. 

[00:28:29] Jen Kern: Done. Right. 

[00:28:30] Milena Regos: So, what can company owner do to understanding, to find that cohesiveness and harmony between the company and what the company is trying to achieve at the end of the day? And we all know that we depend on, staff is everything right, especially in the restaurant industry,

[00:28:46] so how do you provide that unique, exclusive experience for your customers on a day-to-day basis? Where can you simplify, where can you add in more, more, like, human skills? That's what people want, really. Your customers would be happier having a nice conversation and waiting five more minutes, as opposed to just sitting there impatiently and seeing your employees on their phones. 

[00:29:12] Right. 

[00:29:13] Jen Kern: Right. Yeah. Well, first of all, thanks for sharing your story. That’s, it's very cool. I love what you're doing and I know a lot of people love what you're doing. I know there's a lot of communities around the world forming around Unhustle, so it's very cool. And you have a lot of really good content and articles out there about it

[00:29:29] and I know you have a book coming soon, which I'm pretty excited about. But it's funny to me, I'm laughing as you're telling it all because your story and how you founded it 'cause it is very much like this life-work-play design thing, I might've messed up the order, is very, like, gen Z, Millennial-friendly,

[00:29:45] right? 

[00:29:45] You created it, but it is a very, you know, in my mind, you know, my older at that generation, it's like, that's a very, very comfortable concept for them. 

[00:29:54] For us maybe not as much, for us it's like, "Whoa, wow Unhustle work." That’s right. But for them, it's like, you know, I think I, my son who went, he's 23 and his journey so far has been so interesting.

[00:30:08] He's gravitating towards things that bring him pleasure in life and he's trying to figure out how he can turn that into work. He's not there yet. He's 23 and he did end up in college, but it took him a little ways to get there and he's doing music, which, you know, when my husband first heard, like, that's what he’s studying

[00:30:23] and he's like, "Well, that's a hobby. That's a hobby." It's 

[00:30:27] like, well, no, he's going to figure that out, or he's going to figure something out, but he's like weaving his way and it's a beautiful thing to watch, like, as a mother, right? But that letting go of the control that, again, how I was raised, how we might've been raised, and so, I, I don't know, I went off on a tangent there and don't know if you. 

[00:30:46] Milena Regos: No, no. That's, no, no, that's perfect. But that's what they want. It's not work to live it, it's not live to work, right? 

[00:30:53] Jen Kern: Yeah. 

[00:30:53] Milena Regos: So, 

[00:30:54] Jen Kern: Yeah.

[00:30:55] Milena Regos: with that perspective, I mean, the one thing I would say to you, I guess, is a question is 

[00:31:00] Jen Kern: um, 

[00:31:02] Milena Regos: we've been trained that, "Oh, you got to find your passion, then you gotta turn you, put that passion into moneymaking."

[00:31:07] Do we though, I mean, do we have to turn every single hobby into money-making 'cause that kind of kills the joy of the hobby? Right. If you turn your side hustle into hobby all the time, you kind of killed it, the joy at some point. 

[00:31:20] And so, I don't know. I think it's okay to have different hobbies and different interests and not necessarily try to monetize everything. 

[00:31:28] Jen Kern: Right. 

[00:31:30] Right? Absolutely. 

[00:31:31] Milena Regos: Because we 

[00:31:32] go down that road. 

[00:31:33] Jen Kern: That’s good 

[00:31:33] mothering advice right there.

[00:31:35] Milena Regos: Yeah. Sorry. I don't have kids, so freely give away advice. 

[00:31:38] Jen Kern: Yeah. Yeah. Just knowledge, right? Like, yeah, like, having those hobbies. And I heard you talking about that on other podcasts, which is are you allowing yourself to just sit or do some activity without all these other distractions, having music on, you know? I think, when I eat now, for example, one of my friends says like,

[00:31:58] "I pray over the food and the people that prepared that food," before she starts eating. I was like, "That's such a lovely thought." And that, like, slows me down when I'm eating 'cause I usually rush when I'm eating, even that, 

[00:32:08] right? But it's like, what are the things you're doing to really enjoy your life and not being thinking about work, like, 24/7, when you're doing those things and have, you, like, cultivating some of those hobbies and that's. 

[00:32:20] Milena Regos: But how can we incorporate this in the restaurant industry? How can a restaurant take this approach and instill in customers to slow down, to be more mindful? Customers and employees, right? I mean, it's a whole circle, right? If you look at the community, if you go into a restaurant and you're like, "I want to sit down and enjoy my food, be mindful of what I'm eating, think of the people who prepared my food"

[00:32:44] and what if on the other side of that, the restaurant employees are like, "I want to take pride in what I'm doing. I want to be mindful of what I’m doing, you know, I wanna make sure I give it all while I'm at work. I'm fully focused. I'm doing something I'm proud of. And then when I'm off work, I’m off work." Being more of that fully-on or fully-off concept is very, it's something I talk about with Unhustle

[00:33:09] and I think leaders would really appreciate that instead of somebody not really caring about their job and being on their phone on TikTok and Instagram, right?

[00:33:18] How do you get people to pay more attention to what they're doing and reward them for the whole experience? 

[00:33:26] Jen Kern: Right. Oh, you mean, you're asking really good questions, you're interviewing me. I don't have all these answers, but they're really good questions and I think our listeners will appreciate them. Like, just having the right questions in our minds and all these types of things, I think, gets us forward.

[00:33:40] Milena Regos: But, I mean, that's how, to me, the answer to that is how do we become a little bit more mindful? It's like, okay, well, let's do some mindfulness training at work. 

[00:33:49] That's where empathy comes in. So, it's great for leaders to learn empathetic leadership. It's great for employees to learn how to listen more, to learn how to be more present, to learn how to deal with stress more.

[00:34:04] So, all of these mindfulness, it's not just for, you know, your Sunday morning, "Oh, I'm going to do a meditation for 10 minutes," but let's incorporate some more mindful way to work and what's your focus increase, choice decrease, right? Mood increase, all these things. Organizations can definitely adapt that. There's so many resources that they can tap into. 

[00:34:26] Jen Kern: Right. I love that. Like, I think that that is something that workers everywhere would really appreciate, is like, 'cause mindfulness, it can sound like, you said like, we only do it Sunday morning or only do it in the morning for five minutes and another buzz word and I think people think it's a little woo-woo,

[00:34:43] maybe, I don't know, but what do we mean by mindfulness and being more intentional and being more present? And those are the types of conversations that I feel like, in the restaurant industry, could help people reach their potential, 

[00:34:58] maybe even faster. 

[00:34:59] Milena Regos: Yeah.

[00:34:59] I'll give you an example. I just went to a restaurant here only because somebody said to me, "The restaurant is great, but you have to go on such and such date because waitress is amazing." 

[00:35:15] Jen Kern: Yeah. 

[00:35:15] Milena Regos: I went to that restaurant because of her and that's what my friend said,

[00:35:19] "You have to go there because she's amazing and she makes the whole experience memorable." So, I contacted the restaurant and I find out when she works and I went there and it was amazing. She was, greeted us with a smile, went over the menu, made it fun, anticipated every need, made suggestions when we don't know what to do, all that for us, when we were hesitant about what we wanted to do, she's like, "I'm just going to order it for you and in gotta love it."

[00:35:48] I love that. Yeah. We had an amazing experience because of that one person that we had the contact with. It wasn't necessarily, I mean, the food was great, but it wasn't necessarily, we didn't go there for the food. We went there for the experience. 

[00:35:59] Jen Kern: Right. 

[00:36:00] Milena Regos: And it doesn't take much, like you said, smile, eye contact, talk with the customers, figure out what they like, make it fun.

[00:36:09] Everybody's better off at the end of the day. Everybody goes home smiling. It's easy, right?

[00:36:13] Jen Kern: Yeah, yeah. Well, on this idea of empathy, right? And 'cause I'm thinking of your story and your example and I'm thinking, yeah, it's easy or easier in a full-service restaurant. It’s more challenging, probably harder, in a fast food restaurant or what we call fast-casual, like the Chipotles, but then you say, "Well, wait a minute. Look at Chick-fil-A.

[00:36:36] They figured it out." 

[00:36:38] They've figured out how to train people and you're always greeted with a smile, "Pleasure to serve you," you know. Everyone uses Chick-fil-A and it's like, it's not that complex, what they implemented 

[00:36:47] there. Like, it's, to your point, it's pretty simple focused program, 

[00:36:51] but for companies that have not had that from the beginning, to try to implement that now, I think it probably feels like a big lift for them.

[00:37:00] Milena Regos: Sure, but what's the alternative? I mean, some companies are not going to make it, right? So, you can look at yourself and say, "How am I going to make things different? What's the training, the skills, the simplification, the software that we need to implement to create that overall experience and make it better and create fulfilling work environment for people

[00:37:22] or are we just going to go out of business?" 'Cause this is what’s gonna happen.

[00:37:25] Jen Kern: Right. 

[00:37:26] Milena Regos: So, 

[00:37:26] the alternative is yeah. 

[00:37:28] Jen Kern: Yeah. And empathy, like, getting back to this idea of empathy 'cause I talked to someone last week about empathy and she was talking about empathy is having cure, one of the ways she described it as having, like, curiosity, curiosity about others being able to read others

[00:37:44] and I feel like this sort of mindfulness training and helping people understand and embrace empathy because to some people, like, to me, it comes pretty naturally. Like, I'm pretty empathetic, nature-nurture, what a, however you want to go down the path, being female, maybe we have more, I don't know, but I'm no scientist or expert, but there are certain people that may have not been raised to understand how to be empathetic.

[00:38:08] And, you know, you were reminding me of Lauren Fernandez, who was on the podcast, I think it was two episodes ago and she's doing something phenomenal. And she was a very senior person in some, in focus brands and some big restaurants here and she owned, I think, 11 Chicken Salad Chick restaurants and then she just took a break,

[00:38:25] she's like, "What do I really want to do?" And she started this organization, which is a business acceleration firm for restaurants, for small restaurants, to help them simplify, focus, do the right things first, second, third and it all starts, she said they do leadership training and it all starts with self-awareness.

[00:38:44] She said, "We can't have good leaders if they're not self-aware." You can't train someone to be a good leader, if there's zero self-awareness and I would, I have to think that empathy is, it's fitting in there somewhere. 

[00:38:56] Absolutely. Yeah. I'd love to hear your thoughts on all that and how do we train these leaders to be all these things we're talking about?

[00:39:03] Milena Regos: Yeah. I mean, that's, you basically explained it, it comes down to self-awareness and that's where it starts. It starts with us, right? I went to a stress reduction, you know, mindfulness-based stress reduction training. It was eye-opening for me. I think I 

[00:39:16] was very  driven and very type A and very goal-oriented person and bring, and having that ability to increase your self-awareness, which really starts with like, "Okay, how do I feel?"

[00:39:31] I mean, just checking in with yourself, with your body, like, you and I were talking about

[00:39:35] getting more out of your head, more into your heart, whether it's breathing practices, whether it's body scans, whether it's just sitting still for a few minutes and checking in with yourself and saying, "How do I feel?"

[00:39:49] Because we're just rush, rush, rush, rush, rush all the time, right? We're disconnected from our bodies. We know we're experiencing all these emotions and thoughts, but we don't really process them and so we go to 60,000, 80,010 a day and 90% of them the next day are the same thoughts, so the same path and the same story that we tell ourselves.

[00:40:11] So, self-awareness starts with yourself and how do you slow down and sit with these thoughts and just be, right? And this is where a lot of Unhustle staff is like, "Okay. The doing is great and it's an activity that is necessary, but we've disconnected a little bit and we're not putting the emphasis on just being."

[00:40:39] And we know people like Nelson Mandela and Gandhi achieved so much in life, but with just being. So, the whole myth that you constantly have to be doing in order to achieve something, it's just a myth, right? So, self-awareness, mindfulness, meditation, breathing practices, time in nature, time alone, we're constantly bombarded with information, with notifications, with news, with all these things.

[00:41:11] We feel our heads with so much that we, we live very time for just presence and breathing and sitting along without thoughts. So, all of these things lead, to your point, curiosity with somebody, how are you, can you imagine what this person is going through, but that takes time to slow down,

[00:41:30] right? You don't know what they're going through, when you're talking with an employee, you don't know what's going on through their head. You don't know what kind of day they're had, you don't know what kind of life they're dealing with, so, curiosity, right? What's going on? Just ask him, like, how are you doing, really?

[00:41:45] What is going on and really being mindful about their response, as opposed to just checking off the, checking enough on the list, like, "Oh, I asked them how they are doing." But did you really care? Because as humans, we feel that, we feel the energy, we feel the empathy. We, we know if somebody is really, genuinely interested or they're just, "Hey, how are you?"

[00:42:08] And by the time you say how you're doing, you've walked by, right?

[00:42:14] Jen Kern: Yeah. I heard someone say once, and this always stuck with me, "I'm a human being, not a human doing." 

[00:42:21] And I was like, "I love that," you know? And for me and probably for a lot of people listening, I'm, I'm imagining, you know, people thinking, "Wow, so this all sounds great, but really?" And it's like, no, really,

[00:42:32] like, I can sit here and say that some of my quote, unquote, best ideas or best thinking has happened when I've been still.

[00:42:41] Milena Regos: That's when the aha-moments are created. I mean, there's a lot of research that goes into the area. So, if you have employees who are on their phones, sell mantra, they sit there and stare at the distance, right? Because that's where they dreaming occurs, that's where the default mode network gets activated,

[00:42:58] that's where aha-moments are born. You know, your aha-moments are not born when you're on the computer, when, you know, when you're necessarily working, but when you're not doing anything or when you're taking a shower, when you're, you know, going for a walk, right? So, all these times we look at them as is nonproductive times, but in reality, if you want to go that aspect, there's all creativity and productivity 

[00:43:21] actually in this moment. But it's really hard for humans to do nothing or sit still.

[00:43:26] It's really hard. It's the one that, it’s not easy, but if you're talking about rest and recovery protocols, right, to prevent burnout, we are not putting enough emphasis on the rest or the recovery, on the proper rest and recovery. So, what I mean by that is not the passive rest and recovery, but proper active, regenerative rest and recovery, which in most cases is actually more active.

[00:43:51] So, things that take your focus fully engaged, fully focused on the activity, are normally things that are challenging, but not too challenging. And so you have enough skills to do it, so that's where things like mountain biking and rock climbing and kite surfing, in my case, are all these, you know, things that use your mind and body, are actually more replenishing to you, for you than, than just sitting on the couch, watching Netflix.

[00:44:23] Right? So, 

[00:44:24] Jen Kern: Or a scheduling, like, I got to go to the gym right now and do this and, or run to the next, like, I heard that example. I run to the next yoga class, you know, and you're still taking work with you, but. 

[00:44:33] Milena Regos: Speed yoga. 

[00:44:34] Jen Kern: Yeah. Where can you really shut it off? Like. 

[00:44:36] Milena Regos: We need to turn that parasympathetic nervous system on, right? So, if you're constantly "Go, go, go, go" and you're going from you have a busy day at a restaurant, go, go, go long shift and then you're running to the next thing, I learned that the hard way, that I was go, go, go. I would wake up in the morning, hit the gym early, early morning and now I've completely switched that around where I'm reserving my morning time for more creative work and then doing my workouts late in the day.

[00:45:02] But if you constantly go, go, go, your body needs the opposite, right? You need to kind of lean at the end a little bit because doing something that's

[00:45:09] slower pace would be beneficial to your nervous system. So, I had to slow down my workouts, instead of a hardcore hit workout or CrossFit, I started doing more qigong and slow yoga.

[00:45:23] And it's really hard when you're like, that driven and you're going at that speed all the time, it's really hard to do the slowing, slower-pace activity, but that's where our nervous systems get more aligned. 

[00:45:35] Jen Kern: Right, right. Well, lots of good stuff. Lots of food for thought here, Milena. I really appreciate you, you 

[00:45:42] sharing all this. And I think I'd like to wrap, just thinking about what, what would be, based on this conversation, we've talked about all sorts of different aspects of creating a more human-centered culture, you know, within restaurants,

[00:45:55] what would be three recommendations or how many, I don't really care how many, but what would you recommend mainly to restaurant owners and managers? Where do you start?

[00:46:05] Milena Regos: Yeah, I would say, get together with your team and decide together. And you may work with an outside consultant, I don’t know, if you don't know how to do this, but how do you create more about work, open, positive work culture, where people are not afraid to show up themselves, where leaders lead with vulnerability, with empathy, with commonly shared goals for the business,

[00:46:32] so people can have more of an ownership into what they're doing, right? How are the values aligned with the values of the company? And sometimes it's okay to part ways if that's not a good match, right? But getting clear on what's the work culture that you want to create, I think, will be step number one and how to go about creating more of a positive, open workplace culture. For burnout prevention, what are some things you can implement starting tomorrow? Maybe it's a PTO or a mental health or mandatory breaks or flexible work schedule, right? I mean, well, it's some things that with, within your control, within the resources that you have with and the team that you're working with,

[00:47:13] what can you do tomorrow to implement some burnout prevention strategies? Maybe it's, you know, self-care days or afternoons, there's so many things you can tap into. And third, I would say, implement some kind of mindful, empathetic leadership and training. I think the young people are drawn to more learning and developments to begin with,

[00:47:35] so offering that to them, it will be beneficial to the managers as well as to the employees and the frontline staff. 

[00:47:42] Jen Kern: Yeah. Yeah. 

[00:47:43] Especially since I think the number's around just like anxiety. Huge. Yeah. 

[00:47:48] Milena Regos: Mental health, anxiety, stress. How do we build stress-resilient workforce, right? So, life's tough and things are going to happen, right? But how quickly you can bounce back, how quickly it can show back up to work with your full energy and your full smile? What are the strategies?

[00:48:05] A lot of mindfulness trainings touch on that, right? What are the strategies to decrease anxiety, 

[00:48:10] Jen Kern: Yeah. 

[00:48:10] Milena Regos: decrease stress, because that leads eventually to burnout. 

[00:48:14] Jen Kern: Yeah. And all those things you just mentioned, thank you, those were three great tips and ways to get started, but at least that, lets us not forget that we must mentor ourselves, that we can implement these things and do these programs, but if we're not living it, it's all BS. People won't believe it and then it won't flow out to the organization.

[00:48:34] And so I think, I always remind myself and I even share with my team members things I’m doing, that are, like, self-care, sort of, oriented things. I learned recently about myself, I kind of knew this, but I ignored it, I can't do three Zoom meetings back-to-back in a row. 

[00:48:49] I just can't. Like, I can, but I'm miserable. So, what's the why? So, build in a break, Jen. Like, build in a break. Take a little walk, even if it's just a short little thing around the neighborhood, just go lay down on the bed, whatever it is, right? But that's how I’m mentoring it, at least. 

[00:49:06] Milena Regos: Yeah. Yeah. So, self-care needs to be built into your work day, right? 

[00:49:10] Jen Kern: Yeah. 

[00:49:11] Milena Regos: And self-care is not necessarily a 30-minute break. 

[00:49:16] Jen Kern: Yeah. 

[00:49:16] Milena Regos: And it's nice to have a 30-minute break every hour, but it doesn't work that

[00:49:19] way in the real world. So,

[00:49:21] Jen Kern: Right.

[00:49:21] Milena Regos: to your point, self-care could be just drink some water in between meetings, take a five minute break, do some breathing, close your eyes, just exhale.

[00:49:28] It takes the box breathing, box, a box breathing technique, which is what the Navy Seals use, right?

[00:49:35] To minimize your stress level and kind of recalibrate your nervous system. It will probably take a minute of doing a deep box burning technique. It takes a minute to get back into sync and the restaurant employees can do that every time they're in a stressful situation, just do some box breathing, right?

[00:49:51] It's a self-care practice, 

[00:49:52] it takes 60 . 

[00:49:53] Jen Kern: Explain that because I used to know what box breathing was and I forget now.

[00:49:56] Milena Regos: You inhale to the count of 4. So, you inhale 1, 2, 3, 4, you hold your breath for the count of 4, 1, 2, 3, 4, exhale to the count of 4, 1, 2, 3, 4, hold your breath to the count of 4, 1, 2, 3, 4 and you do 

[00:50:13] this, like, four or five times. 

[00:50:16] Jen Kern: Yeah. Okay. 

[00:50:17] Yeah. 

[00:50:18] Milena Regos: And your stress level goes down. 

[00:50:19] Jen Kern: Inhale, hold, exhale, hold. 

[00:50:22] Milena Regos: Hold. Easy. Everybody can do it, it take 60 seconds. You can, you know, go in the back of the kitchen and do it and then go deal with the angry customer. 

[00:50:32] Jen Kern: Yeah. Well, thank you so much, Milena. I really appreciate it. But, and just before we close, let people know how they can get in touch with you or follow you or find you, all those good things.

[00:50:42] Milena Regos: Yeah, absolutely. Everything is at unhustle.com. That’s the website. Everything on social media is either under my name, Milena Regos, or Unhustle, for the most part, everything with Unhustle is at Unhustle. I'd love to hear what your aha-moment was from this podcast. Tag me and let me know.

[00:50:58] And I do offer a free e-book that people can download to see how some leaders in companies have implemented DM hustle practices. They can download it at unhustle.com/ebook, and. 

[00:51:11] Jen Kern: And it's a great ebook 'cause I downloaded it and it's got a lot in there. A lot of good resources in there. Thank you.

[00:51:16] In fact, I, I scheduled a self care session in our company for, like, a lunch and learn 

[00:51:21] tomorrow. And so I'm going to use some of the tips that you have in there just to try to spur some open conversation and dialogue.

[00:51:27] So, we'll see. But thank you so much for helping contribute to the conversation of reinventing restaurants. You're a superstar, you're doing amazing stuff. So, thanks for everything you’re doing.

[00:51:36] Milena Regos: Thank you. You’re too kind. Thank you so much Jen. Thank you for having me.

[00:51:37] Jen Kern: I appreciate it. 

[00:51:38] Yeah. Yeah. Have a great day.