104: The Good, the Bad and the Bond: Understanding Trauma Bonding.

In this solo episode, Gemma dives deep into the concept of trauma bonding, shedding light on why some people feel emotionally tethered to unhealthy or toxic relationships. Drawing from listener questions she explores the psychological mechanisms behind trauma bonds, including the powerful dynamic of the "good-bad ratio" and how it can replicate patterns from childhood.

Gemma also discusses how schemas—such as abandonment, mistrust/abuse, and defectiveness—can make individuals more vulnerable to trauma bonding and highlights the role of manipulative behaviors like love bombing, gaslighting, and boundary-pushing in these relationships.

If you've ever wondered why it’s so hard to leave a toxic relationship or felt stuck in cycles of abuse, this episode is essential listening. 

Topics Covered:

• What is a Trauma Bond? How emotional connections form in abusive or toxic relationships.
• The Abuse Cycle: Key stages like love bombing, boundary-pushing, and manipulation that create and reinforce trauma bonds.
• The Role of Schemas: Why unresolved schemas, such as abandonment or mistrust/abuse, make it harder to leave.
• Breaking the Cycle: How understanding the "good-bad ratio" in relationships can help you regain clarity and self-worth.
• Red Flags to Watch For: Love bombing, arrogance, and other warning signs of toxic relationships.
• How to Heal: The importance of schema work, slowing down in relationships, and taking steps toward self-reflection and recovery.

Additional Resources:

If you’re ready to explore this further, check out Breaking Free From Love-Traps, a self-paced mini-course that unpacks why we’re drawn to certain partners and how to break free from unhealthy patterns. Visit The Red Flag Project for more details.