142. Why Dating Feels So Confusing: The Three Voices That Show Up On Every Date

Have you ever left a date feeling completely conflicted?  Part of you feels excited.

Part of you feels anxious.  Part of you wants to see them again.

And part of you feels relieved it's over.

In this episode, I explore why dating can feel so confusing and how different parts of ourselves can interpret the exact same situation in very different ways.

Drawing on concepts from Schema Therapy, I introduce three key voices that often show up when we're dating. 

You'll learn how old wounds such as abandonment, emotional deprivation, defectiveness and people-pleasing patterns can quietly influence attraction, decision-making and relationship choices.

I also explore common dating coping modes including

Most importantly, we'll look at how to strengthen the Wise Self - the part of you that can step back, gather information, spot red flags, honour boundaries and make healthier relationship decisions.

In this episode you'll learn:

• Why dating can feel so confusing at times
• How vulnerable parts of us influence attraction
• The role of coping modes in dating and relationships
• Why familiarity can be mistaken for compatibility
• How schema chemistry can override good judgement
• The questions your Wise Self needs to be asking
• How to recognise who is currently "holding the microphone"
• Why healthy dating involves learning to date from wisdom rather than from your wound

Resources Mentioned:

Love Wisely Foundations
Love Wisely Group Coaching Program
Dating Profile Check-Up
1:1 Coaching with Dr Gemma Gladstone