The My Sleeping Baby Podcast with Eva Klein

SEASON 4 EPISODE 15 How to Implement an Eat Play Sleep Schedule for a 4 Month Old Baby

• Eva Klein- Certified Infant and Child Sleep Consultant

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I often get asked about sleep schedules for 4 month-olds from very exhausted, overwhelmed moms.  And I don't blame them!  This age range brings a TON of big changes to their sleep patterns.  

And if you don't know how to navigate these changes, your little one's sleep could suffer!

In this podcast episode, I'll be discussing:

  • the ins and outs of an eat-play-sleep routine
  •  how to figure out the right schedule for your 4 month-old
  •  how to maximize your baby's sleep at this stage.




Eva (00:04):

Hey there, you’re listening to the My Sleeping Baby podcast, which is all about baby and child sleep. I’m so excited to teach you how you can get your little ones sleeping so that you can sleep too and enjoy parenthood to its fullest. I’m Eva Klein, your resident’s sleep expert, mom of three, founder of the Sleep Bible online coaching program, and lover of all things sleep and motherhood. If you’re looking for tangible solutions for your little one sleep woes or you simply want to learn more, this podcast is for you. For more information, check out mysleepingbaby.com and you can follow me on Instagram and Facebook @mysleepingbaby, and you can follow me on Instagram and Facebook at My Sleeping Baby.
(00:46)
All right, welcome back to the show. So today we're going to talk about the four month olds. Specifically what they need in terms of an eat, play, sleep type of schedule. This age range brings so much change in terms of sleep patterns and it means that I get so many moms reaching out to me desperately needing help, trying to figure out the sleep needs of their four month old because on the one hand, they're no longer a newborn. They've outgrown that newborn stage, but on the other hand, things still seem to be a little bit chaotic when it comes to a four month old sleep schedule. So in this episode, I'm going to specifically be talking about first of all, what an eat play sleep routine looks like, how to figure out the right type of sleep schedule for your four month old as well as how you can maximize sleep in this specific stage, which you absolutely can.
(01:45)
Alright, so firstly, what's an E play sleep routine? So an E play sleep routine is basically a structured daily schedule for babies that revolves around these three main activities, eating, playing and sleeping. And the main takeaway point from implementing an eat play sleep routine is to separate the eating from the sleeping, ultimately allowing your baby to take down full feeds and not be falling asleep while eating so they're able to eat until they're full and not develop any sort of association between feeding and sleeping, which ultimately helps your baby learn to self-soothe in the grand scheme of things. So here's a breakdown of each component of this play sleep routine. So let's talk about the eating first. This is when you want to establish a fairly regular schedule based on your baby's age and stage of where they're at. So newborns for example, are typically eating every two to three hours.
(02:47)
The breastfed babies are usually eating every two to two and a half hours. The bottle fed babies might be able to go three hours between feeds, but that's all just pretty typical across the board. But then when your baby gets a bit older, the time between feeds may extend as they're able to take down bigger feeds at each time, allowing them to last a little bit longer before they get hungry again, solids are usually introduced somewhere between four and six months, but I really want to emphasize that when I talk about a feeding schedule, I don't mean a set in stone timed schedule where the only time you can feed your baby is that these exact times. Rather, you want to make sure that you are still feeding your baby on demand, which by definition means when they are hungry. So what does this refer to?
(03:38)
Looking out for your baby's hunger cues? Are they rooting? Are they sucking on their fists? Are they especially alert? Are you hearing fast breathing? These are all signs, especially if it's been a little while since your baby ate that they might be getting to get hungry. And this is important because generally speaking, the more calories your baby gets down during the day, the less he will need to eat at night. And so if your goal at this point is to get yourself bigger stretches of sleep, which by the way you absolutely can at this age, then you want to make sure that your little one's daytime caloric intake is really maximized. Alright, now let's talk about the playtime. So the playtime basically just refers to your baby's wake time. After he is done eating before it is time for him to go back down for a nap.
(04:29)
So at four months, this is not going to be complicated stuff. It really doesn't take much to stimulate a four month old baby. This might be when you do some tummy time, maybe you read some books, you put him on a play mat, you let him play with some age appropriate toys, you make some eye contact, you let him explore different toys with different textures and colors to engage your baby senses. This can be a lot of fun and it doesn't need to be complicated. And then of course the last part of the routine is the sleep piece. Now you want to make sure that you are getting your baby down for their nap or bedtime just as they're beginning to get tired before they become overtired. So make sure that you are adhering to your baby's wake windows or wake periods which refer to the amount of time your baby can likely be up for before they begin to get tired and need to go back to sleep.
(05:27)
So if you haven't downloaded my free sleep chart, which has all of my suggested weak windows, nap totals and night totals and overall sleep totals for babies ages zero all the way up to age five, definitely grab a copy of that that is linked in the blog post as well as in the show notes. This is also the age where if you haven't introduced any sort of bedtime routine or nap time routine, I definitely recommend introducing those routines to help cue your baby that sleep time is coming. So this might include a bath lullabies, getting your baby into their sleep sack, giving them a massage, turning on the white noise machine, a bedtime story, a bedtime song. It doesn't matter what you do, as long as this routine is done fairly consistently so that your little one knows it is time to wind down and go to sleep very soon.
(06:18)
Now by the way, this e play sleep routine can absolutely be introduced well before your little one is four months. In fact, it can technically be introduced from day one. The only difference between an e play sleep routine for a newborn versus a four month old are that their wake windows are significantly shorter. And so on top of that, the feeds usually take much longer. And so with a newborn it might mean that your little one wakes up, eats, gets a diaper change, maybe is up for five extra minutes and then needs to go right back to sleep. And that's okay. It's within the realm of normal versus your four month old is going to be able to be up for slightly longer periods of time. So the play part of the E play sleep routine might actually look like play. Alright, so how does an e play sleep routine look for a four month old?
(07:11)
So first let me just specify that there is a lot of irregularity in terms of sleep patterns between one four month old and another. It is very normal to have one four month old napping two hours at a time and another four month old napping 45 minutes at a time. This is all developmental just based around their age and so don't fret if your four month old is in the second category where they're napping 45 minutes at a time. It just might mean that the baby who is sleeping two hours at a time, we'll likely need four naps a day, whereas the four month old taking shorter naps might need to nap five times a day. I provided a sample schedule in the blog post, but I just want to specify that the main things to take away when discussing a schedule for a four month old is that the main factor to determine when your little one needs to go to sleep are there wake windows, not the time on the clock.
(08:15)
So a four month old's wake windows are usually somewhere in the 75 minute to maybe hour and 45 minute mark. Again, depending on the duration of your little one's naps, you are likely going to be looking at a schedule that involves either four naps a day or five naps a day. And if one day your little one takes four naps and the next day he takes five naps, that's also totally fine. Again, grab a copy of my free sleep chart if you are not a hundred percent sure or you have no idea where to start in terms of figuring out nap timings and schedules for your little one. Now, when it comes to how often to be feeding your four month old during the day, again that's going to primarily depend on whether or not are breastfeeding or bottle feeding. Bottle-fed babies can usually go three, sometimes even four hours between feeds.
(09:03)
Really depends on how big these bottles are. A four month old that's taking down 6, 7, 8 ounces in a bottle at a time can almost certainly go three and a half to four hours before needing to eat again. Whereas a bottle fed baby who's only taking down three or four ounces likely needs a bottle every three hours. A breastfed baby on the other hand might still be able to go three hours between feeds during the day. Very often they're breastfeeding every two to two and a half hours. So this sort of routine can absolutely work for breastfed babies. It just might look a little bit different than if your baby was bottle fed, only because breastfed babies are usually eating more frequently. Alright, now let's talk about nighttime sleep. For your four month old people ask me this so often, how long can a four month old realistically go without eating overnight?
(09:56)
Can they go a full 12 hours? Do they need to still be eating every three hours like they did when they were a newborn? And here is the reality that I can say very confidently having worked with thousands of families to date, many of whom have had babies in this age range, unless there is a concern when it comes to weight gain or there is some other health concern on your pediatrician's end. If you have an otherwise healthy four month old baby, we can typically get them sleeping eight hours of sleep at night without any interruption. And yes, this includes the breastfed babies as well. Again, remember, a breastfed baby is not eating less than a bottle fed baby during the day. They just need to eat more frequently because they're usually not taking down as many calories per feed as a bottle fed baby is, but they're still able to get the same amount of calories throughout the day as the bottle fed baby can.
(10:56)
Hence why we can get that breastfed baby going 7, 8, 9 hours before waking up once eating and going right back to sleep until the morning. In fact, I've even seen some babies in this age range go 11 to 12 hours uninterrupted. It might not be the norm, but it can definitely happen. That being said, always make sure to follow the advice of your pediatrician. If your pediatrician is telling you to feed your baby more than once a night, always listen to their advice and always seek up medical advice before removing any nighttime feeds to make sure your baby is ready. Now, if you have a four month old who is still waking every two hours, three hours or four hours at night to eat and you are wondering how to fix this, listen up because you are in the right place. First of all, I want to reiterate that this is very fixable.
(11:46)
Your four month old does not need to be sleeping like a newborn anymore if that is something that you are ready to change if this is happening on your end. The main reason why this is probably happening, or at least one of the main reasons, is that your little one is probably going through the famous four month sleep regression. The four month sleep regression isn't actually a true regression by definition. You see, a regression implies that your baby is going through a phase and all you need to do is just ride it out and eventually everything will go back to the way it was before. What happens at four months is not that. Rather, what happens at this stage is that your little one's sleep cycles and sleep patterns are undergoing a permanent neurological change where now they are beginning to cycle in and out of deep and light sleep just like you and I do.
(12:44)
And so the reason why this can cause tons of additional night wakings or maybe your newborn was always waking a million times that night, but now your four month old sleep hasn't changed. The main reason for that is because if your little one has always needed help to fall asleep, feeding to sleep, rocking to sleep, holding to sleep next to them until they fall asleep, padding bouncing, doesn't really matter what something that is, a sleep prop, a sleep crutch that they cannot recreate on their own. This regression and the permanent sleep cycles that emerge from this change mean that now your little one might wake up at the end of one of those sleep cycles and need that same kind of help to put them back to sleep. So if your four month old relies on this kind of help, any sleep prop or sleep association to fall asleep and is waking up way too many times at night and you are ready to fix this.
(13:47)
So if this is what you are dealing with with your four month old where they are waking up way too many times throughout the night, one of the main reasons is likely that they don't know how to sleep independently. And so the solution is sleep training. What is sleep training? Teaching your baby how to sleep independently? And yes, this can absolutely happen at four months. Again, sleep training doesn't mean removing all night feeds. In fact, at four months, that's not typically something I would suggest trying from the get-go. Rather, it is a matter of teaching your little one to sleep independently while respecting any nighttime nutritional needs they might have. So if this is something that you're feeling ready to do but you have no idea where to start, I've got a free masterclass that will teach you how to get your little one either sleeping through the night or mostly sleeping through the night so you can finally feel like a normal functioning human.
(14:45)
Again, the link is going to be in the show notes as well as at the bottom of the blog post. So to summarize, four months is one of those age ranges that I get so many people reaching out to me for help because these parents know that their baby is not a newborn anymore, doesn't need to be sleeping like a newborn, but might still in actuality be sleeping like a newborn and they are finally ready to not be tired anymore. This is the age where you can begin to implement some sort of eat, play, sleep routine, begin to get yourself some degree of consistency here and there, and ultimately begin teaching your little one to self-soothe, sleep independently and sleep really solid stretches of sleep at night so that you can finally feel normal and human and sane and so that your baby can get the sleep that they need as well. That's about it. I hope that this was helpful and that you all have a wickedly awesome day.
(15:49)
Thank you so much for listening. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review and share this episode with a friend who can benefit from it. I also love hearing from my listener, so feel free to DM me on Instagram at my sleeping baby or send me an email at eva@mysleepingbaby.com. Until next time, have a wonderful restful nights.