176. Turning Chaos into Order: Navigating Back-to-School Season Successfully
Aug 22, 2023
Bethany and Corey Adkins / Adkins Media Co.
Are you ready to conquer the back-to-school chaos?
We've got you covered! From parents preparing their kids for the new school year, to college students setting themselves up for success, or simply anyone trying to break free from the summer groove, we're sharing our top five tips to establish effective routines. Get ready to experience a smoother transition into the new season as we navigate through the whirlwind of school preparations.
Ever wondered how to keep your home tidy amidst a flurry of after-school activities? The answer lies in creating designated spots for equipment and supplies. Tune in as we reveal this secret weapon for managing your space. We also share our thoughts on setting out clothes the night before, and how this simple practice can revolutionize your morning routines.
As we journey into the complex territory of managing conversations with kids, we offer our personal experiences with the My Why Journal, promising you a deeper understanding and smoother communication.
Can you imagine a back-to-school season that doesn't feel daunting? Well, it's possible! Join us as we tackle these issues head-on, sharing our tips and tricks to make it happen.
Episode Highlights:
Talking about back-to-school season.
Setting bedtime and evening routines.
Having designated spots for things.
Setting out outfits the night before.
Family meetings and building character.
Using the My Why Journal.
Being intentional parents.
Links Mentioned in Episode/Find More on A Force to Be Reckoned With:
Are you ready to conquer the back-to-school chaos?
We've got you covered! From parents preparing their kids for the new school year, to college students setting themselves up for success, or simply anyone trying to break free from the summer groove, we're sharing our top five tips to establish effective routines. Get ready to experience a smoother transition into the new season as we navigate through the whirlwind of school preparations.
Ever wondered how to keep your home tidy amidst a flurry of after-school activities? The answer lies in creating designated spots for equipment and supplies. Tune in as we reveal this secret weapon for managing your space. We also share our thoughts on setting out clothes the night before, and how this simple practice can revolutionize your morning routines.
As we journey into the complex territory of managing conversations with kids, we offer our personal experiences with the My Why Journal, promising you a deeper understanding and smoother communication.
Can you imagine a back-to-school season that doesn't feel daunting? Well, it's possible! Join us as we tackle these issues head-on, sharing our tips and tricks to make it happen.
Episode Highlights:
Talking about back-to-school season.
Setting bedtime and evening routines.
Having designated spots for things.
Setting out outfits the night before.
Family meetings and building character.
Using the My Why Journal.
Being intentional parents.
Links Mentioned in Episode/Find More on A Force to Be Reckoned With:
We are at war and it's not against our neighbors, spouses, children, politicians or whatever else we feel like we're battling against.
Speaker 2:
So the questions are who's the fight against, and are we winning or losing? We're the Adkins, and we are a force to be reckoned with. Are you ready to join the force, and we are back.
Speaker 1:
Action.
Speaker 2:
Awkward silence and cue the go. That wasn't even English. We hope you guys are all doing well. It is the end of August. If you can hardly even believe it, I cannot. School is probably either back in full swing for you guys or happening this week or sometime soon after. For us it happened last week and as a mom it just got me thinking. There's just a lot going on. You got a clothes shop. You got to supply shop. You have to make sure your kids' heads and hearts are ready. You got to make sure they got the shoes. You've finally gotten into a group with Summer and now the routine is changing again.
Speaker 1:
I'm not gonna lie as a dude. The only thing that you just mentioned that affects me is the routine.
Speaker 2:
Which is why we're talking about that this week Today super practical, super short and sweet and simple. A lot of this you might already know, so it might just be like, yeah, I got this. This is affirming for me. I would honestly say that, yeah, of course, this is for people that have kids that are going back to school, but also these things can apply to if you're starting off in college and you want to make sure you're setting yourself up for success, honestly, even if you don't have kids, but you're just trying to get out of that summer routine and into, like a good fall routine.
Speaker 2:
I think this even applies to you as well, because even if we didn't have kids, don't you think that these things yeah, I mean, even the principles apply.
Speaker 2:
Right. So today we're gonna talk about back to school and five things that we are doing to not lose our minds and to make things just a little bit easier. They're still gonna be hard, you're still gonna yell, you're still gonna probably cry every now, and then your kids might go run out to the bus stop tear in their eye, but it'll happen less frequently than if you didn't do these things.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, and I would just excuse me. The thing to add I think I'm just gonna add in here is, like a lot of these routine things you really want, like if these routines work for you, if any of these things work for you or anything you're trying to implement work, well, you want them just to become second nature, just become habit, so you don't have to think about it. For me, when I look at some of these things, it's kind of like like we already know this. Yeah, like some things sound so simple.
Speaker 2:
Right.
Speaker 1:
Right, and I often think this. I don't know about you, but I think that sometimes, when, like, we're talking about anything like this or some piece of advice or whatever that we want to give people, sometimes I'm like this is so stupid, like who even wants to hear this?
Speaker 2:
And also who are we? Because if anybody knows our lives, you know it's crazy and it's so simple.
Speaker 1:
You know. But then I look at myself and I think about myself.
Speaker 2:
And you are so simple.
Speaker 1:
I mean kind of Right, but think about. Think about how many times you've been listening to a podcast or you listen to a sermon and you've heard the exact same thing dozens of times. Right, but then hearing it again, either through a new perspective or what you're going through in life at that time, or it just having it as a reminder, it's like oh yeah, I knew that, but I kind of forgot about it.
Speaker 2:
Right, you know, and it's like it's so simple, I can just do that. A good example is that you and I we've been kind of at each other's throats a little bit, for lack of a better word. I mean, is it a lie?
Speaker 1:
You were literally were at my throat. You had your both hands around it. No, I woke up in the middle of the night.
Speaker 2:
Stop, that's not true it wasn't that bad, I'm just kidding, kind of not really. It's never. It's like okay, yeah, things are bad right now, but then if you sit back and you have a conversation and you think like all right, why are things so bad? It's always the dumbest stuff. Like for us. We had a long conversation, might have been a couple of slam doors. You know we're not perfect.
Speaker 1:
Might have left might have called ten times.
Speaker 2:
You're not just gonna walk out of the mirror and just stay right now we're not going to bed angry we want to finish this, you know for every relationship there's one person who can't go to bed angry and one that does one that immediately, as soon as there's any confrontation, the other one's like I don't know if you could jump up back here.
Speaker 1:
We were not done, game wasn't finished. You just walk out in the middle of the third quarter oh yeah, you do.
Speaker 2:
You go grab those keys and you go to sheets and you get yourself an energy drink and you drive around and you listen to music. That's terrible advice, bad advice don't do it. Okay, that was all a lie. That's not true. It might be true, maybe half true. What's?
Speaker 1:
a lie and what's not true. I don't know all of that happened did it okay. So what I'm gonna say is all of that to say I'm so sorry that you guys listened to this podcast everybody all that to say is, if you go back in the past months, you'll hear episodes about things to do to like keep your marriage going and like weekly check-ins and all these things. We didn't do. The dang thing we told you, guys, you should do hey guys, we're doing this.
Speaker 2:
This is working out great for us okay, okay, okay, let's stop doing that, and things are gonna go off the rails we have just officially lost all of our audience, but it's always a simple thing.
Speaker 2:
So we finally, when we finally had the conversation, six days later, we sat down and we were like, oh, of course we're about to break up. We haven't been doing our family touch bases like duh you'll, here's your goal, here's my goal. And there, and we don't even know, we're strangers. We're strangers, we're ships in the night. Strangers in the night, ships in the night.
Speaker 1:
I thought we were strangers in the night you passing me by just wasting time trying to prove who's right.
Speaker 2:
Thank you, matt Carney. Thank you for those lyrics. Thank you, okay, so it's always simple. So back to back to school. You don't have to overthink it and we're not gonna give you these like really cool pinterest things, because that's not who we are and you. The more simple, the better you know this. So, first and foremost, this is one thing that we're pretty strict on I think we've talked about this before because we want our quality time together, unless we're fighting, but bedtime and evening routines we actually have been pretty good about this one yes, we have, even through the summer it's gotten a little bit later, but this is one thing when it gets back to school time we're gonna be real sticklers on, and it's just like.
Speaker 2:
I think it's so good for the kids to set the expectation like this is when you go to bed. It's non-argument. We talked about this a few weeks ago but for those of you who didn't listen, our older kids they're older now, so they might be able to stay up until 9 pm, but we wanna go to bed at a good time too.
Speaker 2:
And we also wanna spend time with each other so that we don't get into fights because we're not on the same page. So, even though our kids can stay up till 9, corey and I wanna go to bed at like 9.30 or 10 so that we can get a good night's sleep. Well, that's not enough time for us to like unwind, clean up the kitchen and spend time touching base. So we still have been making our older kids go to bed around like 8. Carter has practice till 8, so it'll probably be like 8.30,. Come home from football, grab a snack, go upstairs. You can be awake until 9, 9.30. You guys can read or draw, or pray or do whatever you want, but you can't be here.
Speaker 2:
You can't be where we are, because we hanging out together, because we wanna like each other, you know.
Speaker 1:
And then the younger kids we put to bed at like 7.30, 8 o'clock, somewhere in that range. And I gotta tell you something here that was absolutely life-changing. I don't know if I've mentioned this before or not, but we haven't mentioned this is you know? You hear about these special parents and these special kids.
Speaker 2:
Well, like all of our friends did this, and we were like the ones that were like you know.
Speaker 1:
But then you see it too and you're like, you're just like, okay, like these special people were able to pull this off. I can't pull this off, and I'm talking about like your kids going to bed on their own.
Speaker 2:
Yeah.
Speaker 1:
And I'm talking about like two and under kids.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, and our kids didn't.
Speaker 1:
No, they didn't, and Maya.
Speaker 2:
Like when they went to bed, we had to go to bed.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, like, oh my gosh, it was a battle. But, like Maya, we used to always just hold her to put her to sleep and we never taught her to like put herself to sleep in her crib or anything like that. And so then fast forward. She's two years old, we put her in a big girl bed and now she can just like get out of that bed. Like she's big enough, she can get out of that bed and and she are we getting out.
Speaker 1:
And then the next thing you know, we got into this habit so we were trying to get her to stay in that bed of we would lay down with her and sometimes it would be a cool, you know, 10, 15 minutes, but most at a time it was an hour or more.
Speaker 2:
Okay, if you're just in there and you know, and I'm like, yeah, it'd be like 730 and we're like, oh, we'll get him to bed, we're going to hang out, we're going to do this, this, this. We're going to do this work thing, we're going to talk about this, we're going to do that. And Corey's upstairs for an hour and a half and I'm like did he fall asleep?
Speaker 1:
No, so then I go upstairs pop my head in.
Speaker 2:
Did he fall asleep? No, it started the whole thing.
Speaker 1:
You started the whole thing over. I'm like get out of here get out of here, I got almost had her.
Speaker 2:
So all that to say, we now put our kids to bed.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, we got Maya trained.
Speaker 2:
She's trained High five.
Speaker 1:
Boom and I'm just like every day in pure amazement.
Speaker 2:
Every night.
Speaker 1:
Every night, because I'm just like we take Maya and we take Roger. Code name Roger is what we're calling. That's what I'm calling him. I'm calling him Roger.
Speaker 1:
Terrible name, but okay hey code names sometimes have to be terrible. So, anyways, the four year old, that's what this too, and I'm like every night I'm getting ready to put him in bed, I'm like, oh no, like I still like I'm having PTSD back in the day and I go up and I lay Maya down and I pray with her and boom, I'm out in like two minutes and then I go over with Roger and I get him down, I pray with him and I put him down and I'm out.
Speaker 2:
And now it's causing a problem because for me I'm used to like an hour of time where I just sit on the couch and I scroll through my reels and I catch up and I'm like, okay, corey goes upstairs and I open up my phone and then he's back.
Speaker 1:
And boom, and I'm like, as I'm walking down the stairs, though for me I'm like, oh my gosh, I just did this in under five minutes, 10 minutes max, and that's if I had to go pee or something.
Speaker 2:
I'm like Got your life back, man. Oh my gosh, got your life back.
Speaker 1:
I've been losing an hour of my life for the past two years.
Speaker 2:
This is amazing.
Speaker 1:
So anyway.
Speaker 2:
Okay, so all I have to say bedtime. You guys probably know this, everybody's ready, train your kids. Okay, bedtime, but even more than that evening routine. So we start the evening, get your snack out of the way, get your drink out of the way. We do a prayer, we do devotions, whatever that is consistent and see, helps the kids go to bed All right next thing.
Speaker 1:
And that snack has zero sugar. That is anti-sleep.
Speaker 2:
Okay, next thing. Thing number two this. Why didn't we catch on to this sooner? I don't know cuz we're not that.
Speaker 2:
I honestly tried to but Our kids are in sports and they have book bags and they have a lot of things. And I mean I can't tell you how many times I'm flying out the door. Liberty can't find this. We're going to a football game, we're gonna be late. He can't find his shoulder pads or his blue sock. I have a kid showing up with like un matching socks and one missing shoe and I'm like what? Why am I the only mom? They can't get their life together ever.
Speaker 2:
So we've implemented this. There is a designated spot where your football or basketball equipment goes. It is in the garage. That is where it goes. You're responsible for that. Same thing with book bags. I you just figure it out. You know, if your kids have a take-home folder, you tell them this is where it goes. If it's not here, then the papers don't get signed. And the same thing with your book bag. This is where it goes. And I can't look around when you're leaving at 8 10 in the morning and it's 8 o 9 and your book bag has been in the driveway in the rain all night. I just we can't do that anymore and guess where that spot is not?
Speaker 1:
it is not in the middle of our kitchen floor, okay.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, we have hooks for the book bags. The kids go, they hook them on, they put their folder. Where the folder goes, the football equipment it goes in the garage and the hope is that Now there's a little bit less chaos in the mornings and on Saturdays for football and, to be honest with you, let's just how many people can relate to this.
Speaker 1:
I know I'm a person of habit now and I don't even have to think about it like for me, like as a dude. Think about your wallet and your car keys.
Speaker 1:
Yeah like I, my wallet and my car keys are in One of two places at home. They're either on the counter Up by the coffee pot or they're in my computer bag it's one of the other night always know that they're in there, and if they're not in there then I'm looking for them. But like I don't have to think about it because I have those designated spots for them. Yeah, same thing for the kids. If you put your your sports stuff, you put your book bags, your shoes, whatever, if you put them in the same place every time, then you know where it is and you don't have to think about it.
Speaker 2:
Mm-hmm and that is for adults, college aged if you have kids. If you don't have kids even if I didn't have kids We'd be doing that.
Speaker 1:
Okay, if I could do that with my outfits, like Steve Jobs did, I would okay.
Speaker 2:
So Some people this works, for some people this doesn't. I feel like I've been a person in the past from like and that doesn't really work for us. But I also have a child who Things don't fit right. They like the, they're like they come. What's the word I'm looking for? The texture like they have sensory, sensory stuff, so like socks, pants, all of this. And the mistake we made last year was Every morning it was like a thing with the outfits and then they were like crying Stuff with socks that they couldn't find.
Speaker 2:
So I still don't this year we're setting out outfits tonight before. So simple, but I also do this for myself with, like, working out in the morning. Just put your outfit out the night before and then it's already done Saves you some time in the morning and I honestly sleep better because there's just one less thing in the morning that you don't have to think about. So that one's super simple and I'm just so excited about it.
Speaker 1:
Okay, last two things are it is true it is kind of funny, like in the morning, like when I've set my clothes out in the morning, like in that negotiating with yourself phase you're like oh, I'm not gonna ever say, oh, I already set my clothes out.
Speaker 2:
all right, I'll go, yeah, yeah. And you know what? I've always been the type of person where, if I can't find something to wear, I'm not going. I'm not going. And it's bad, because sometimes I'll be. Really, I feel like I'm a little bit spicy today and these episodes are making me seem a little bit crazy, but it's just true. If you pick out your outfit the night before, it's just who you are. Yeah, sorry. Okay, but it's not I am. It's not gonna change. Remember, you can change and but.
Speaker 1:
Yes, you can.
Speaker 2:
Some things are.
Speaker 1:
Yes, you can.
Speaker 2:
So, okay, sorry, I'm pulling up the next resources which I have in my hand here, so if you have the video, these are backwards, so it's really not even that helpful anyway.
Speaker 2:
But these are called character matters cards and I got them offline. Actually, a friend recommended them to me. It's by September and Co, and so I'll link their Instagram in the show notes. I love these little cards. We did do this last year and the idea was that we were gonna do a card a week and sometimes they were a little bit longer because I wanted the kids to really memorize. Actually we did drop the ball toward the end of the year, but basically these cards, they're all different kinds.
Speaker 2:
It's one short little card and so for this one it says the word is integrity Knowing what is right and good and sticking to it. The opposite of integrity is corruption. And then it has like three or four examples of how can I show more integrity. Choose the right thing over the easy thing. Think about others and not just myself. Help others choose the right thing. And then it has a Bible verse at the end that talks to them about integrity.
Speaker 2:
And so we would go through these things with the kids they're cute little cards, they weren't very expensive at all and just teaching them words and teaching them different character traits. They're kids, they're not gonna get everything right, they're not gonna get it perfect, but the more we can just instill these little things. I mean, the hope is that it sticks in some ways. And there were situations like one of our words last year was boldness, and so I would give the kids. I'd be like, okay, I wanna know one way that you were bold when I pick you up from school, that's what I'm gonna ask you what way? How were you bold today? Or like, how were you a leader today? Or if the word was integrity, what was one way that you used integrity? And their examples were so good and cute and I loved it. So I'm excited to keep implementing these. We're not looking for perfection here, guys. We're just looking to try and be intentional parents where we can. And this is so simple it's like five minutes, you know.
Speaker 1:
Yep.
Speaker 2:
Anything you wanna say there.
Speaker 1:
No, when you said boldness just reminded me the other day when I was getting Roger to go in the pool with us, and it's like you gotta be bold. I don't wanna be bold. Yeah, I'm not gonna be bold today.
Speaker 2:
I'm sorry, but I hate the name Roger.
Speaker 1:
I know, but it's-.
Speaker 2:
You're a little four-year-old boy. I know Roger's in my life and Roger I love ya. I do, but for the little guy no.
Speaker 1:
You just offended three people that was in this podcast named Roger.
Speaker 2:
Last thing and this is something that we've talked about in the past, so something that I, as a mom, have always been very sensitive about with my kids. It's just something that has been in like I don't know. Like, we all have our things as moms. You know, some of you guys want your kids to be pristinely dressed and have perfect hair. I try my best, but that's not me. For me, I like want to have, be connected with my kids and have I don't know. It's just important, so I want to. I've always wanted to find that balance of I don't want to be my child's best friend. I don't want to be that parent that enables them and has them do bad things, but I also don't want to be so strict that they feel like they can't talk to me about stuff or they're uncomfortable to come to me about, you know, uncomfortable things Like. I want them to be comfortable. I want to be the person that they go to.
Speaker 2:
So I created this journal and it is published and out. It's called the my Y Journal and this has been a really good conversation starter with our kids. It's also super cute because it's hard back and they can keep this when they get older. But basically each of our kids have had this basket in their room and they have their different activities. You know, like when we say they have to go to bed up to their rooms but they don't have to go to sleep yet, this is in that activity basket where they can color, draw, journal.
Speaker 2:
The Y Journal is in here and so basically there's this section for you to write a little letter to your kid explaining like I want you to know that you can come to me, I want you to feel comfortable. So if you do have questions, sometimes life is busy, sometimes I'm cooking dinner and I can't give you this in-depth question right here. So I might say, go write the question down in your journal and then they can give the journal to you. So, like they write their question down, maybe they leave it on the end of their bed and then you go grab the journal and then you can write out a response and then if there's scripture that ties to your response, you put that scripture there. So because so often, like we have rules, like you can't watch this thing, and they're like why I don't get it, I don't get it, and it's like because you just can't, because you just can't. Well, it's not because you just can't.
Speaker 1:
There's deeper reasons for that, and sometimes we have the time to explain it and sometimes we don't.
Speaker 2:
Right, and sometimes it's just an ongoing conversation. So for that example it is a much deeper rooted thing and we have to explain it on their level. So it's fun to kind of write notes back and forth and then tie scripture to it and then they have this like conversation back and forth. That also becomes a keepsake to them of letters back and forth with their parents and they can pass it along to their kids. And then there's also a section in the back, section two. Yeah, it's called I don't want to talk about it. And so here it just says sometimes questions are hard, Sometimes they're flat out embarrassing. Please don't let that stop you from asking me questions. My promise to you is that if you write a question in this section, I will understand that you don't want to talk about it. Sometimes we just need answers and that's okay, I get it. So if you write a question in the following pages, know that I'll answer the question and then respect your wishes to not bring it up unless you decide that you do want to talk about it. And then it keeps talking. And then I ended by saying we don't have to talk about it, Just don't stop asking questions. I love you. And then there's a section for you to write a letter to them and then this whole section. It's like our kids right now. I was just texting with my friend about this.
Speaker 2:
The public school system can be wonderful and it can also be very tricky, where they're exposed to things that we don't even realize, that their kids are getting exposed to, things younger and younger. Curriculum is changing, so we really need to arm our kids and prepare our kids and build them up and have these conversations at home, because the things that our kids are being exposed to and being taught in school aren't always great. There's so many great things about public school, but at the end of the day, it is our job to give them that foundation and teach them truth and teach them right from wrong, and some of those things are uncomfortable. So this journal has been a really cool tool. I'll be completely honest with you. We've been out of the habit of it for a while, but I'm so excited about getting back into it with my kids because when we did it it was super fun and often they would write questions in here and then I would write a response and then they would come back with even more questions. That just led to deeper conversation.
Speaker 1:
One other thing I just wanna add in there too that I didn't really think about before, when we used it and when you made it, was that sometimes, based on people that are around you or where you're at, the question that they might be thinking of or wanna ask is also maybe inappropriate.
Speaker 2:
Yeah.
Speaker 1:
You know, it might not be age appropriate, or it might just not be contextually appropriate, depending on or personally, it might be too personal of a thing to ask. So, and what made me think of that too, is just like for any of our foster parents out there, sometimes the kid that I was wanna ask questions about are the foster kids right, and it might not be appropriate to ask certain questions about what's going on in front of them, because our job is also protect the little foster kiddos from some of the things that are going on in their lives, that their bio parents or what have you.
Speaker 1:
So that's another place to be able to answer questions that might just need be more of a one-on-one type setting, or two parents and one kiddo.
Speaker 2:
Totally so, yeah, okay. So recapping bedtime and evening routines. Figure out what works for you and stick to it, because you will thank yourself later. Find designated places for school stuff and sports stuff and make your kids stick to it Again. You will thank yourself and your kids will thank you, and your relationship will be better because you won't be fighting when you're walking out the door, at least not about that. Third thing pick out night outfits the night before. Fourth thing character cards by September and Co. I will link them in the show notes. And then the fifth thing is my Y Journal. If you don't wanna buy it, that's fine. You can use a spiral notebook. But, like I said, this is hardcover and it's a really good keepsake and we hope. What were you gonna say?
Speaker 1:
And the sixth thing is go into your closet, throw everything out by seven pairs of jeans, seven black turtlenecks and one pair of new balanced tennis shoes, and you can just wear the same thing every day, you don't have to think about it.
Speaker 2:
Easy enough. We hope you guys are so excited, or at least embrace this back to school season. We hope you find your groove and it's smooth sailing and we're right there in the thick of it with you guys. So we will talk to you soon.