184. Feel Like Your Story Is Over? Trust the Author with Lisa Robertson
Nov 07, 2023
Bethany and Corey Adkins / Adkins Media Co.
Do you have someone in your circle who inspires you by the way they live their life?
When we think of heroes, we often picture individuals in capes saving the world, but my friend and inspiration, Lisa Robertson, is a hero in her own right. For nearly a decade, Lisa and her husband opened their hearts and their home to foster children, impacting countless lives in the process. Facing the difficult decision to close their home, Lisa shares her emotional journey, the difficult conversations, and her courageous step into a season of rest.
As we navigate through this emotional rollercoaster, we uncover Lisa's continued impact on the foster care system through her work with Hope Bridge. This non-profit organization has given Lisa a platform to share transformative stories of hope, demonstrating that closing her home has not meant the end of her contribution.
What's life like after leaving foster care? We explore this adjustment period, the mental and emotional toll it takes, and the importance of intentional presence.
Lisa shares her adjustment process and how she was able to find value in her new season of life. So, join us for a conversation filled with raw emotion, deep insights, and a testament to the impact of faith.
This episode isn't just a chat - it's an exploration of the human spirit, the struggles we face, and the hope that sees us through. Come, be inspired. You don't want to miss this!
Do you have someone in your circle who inspires you by the way they live their life?
When we think of heroes, we often picture individuals in capes saving the world, but my friend and inspiration, Lisa Robertson, is a hero in her own right. For nearly a decade, Lisa and her husband opened their hearts and their home to foster children, impacting countless lives in the process. Facing the difficult decision to close their home, Lisa shares her emotional journey, the difficult conversations, and her courageous step into a season of rest.
As we navigate through this emotional rollercoaster, we uncover Lisa's continued impact on the foster care system through her work with Hope Bridge. This non-profit organization has given Lisa a platform to share transformative stories of hope, demonstrating that closing her home has not meant the end of her contribution.
What's life like after leaving foster care? We explore this adjustment period, the mental and emotional toll it takes, and the importance of intentional presence.
Lisa shares her adjustment process and how she was able to find value in her new season of life. So, join us for a conversation filled with raw emotion, deep insights, and a testament to the impact of faith.
This episode isn't just a chat - it's an exploration of the human spirit, the struggles we face, and the hope that sees us through. Come, be inspired. You don't want to miss this!
We are at war and it's not against our neighbors, spouses, children, politicians or whatever else we feel like we're battling against. So the questions are who's the fight against, and are we winning or losing? We're the Adkins and we are a force to be reckoned with.
Speaker 2:
Are you ready to?
Speaker 1:
join the force. Alright, hello everyone. Hope you're having a good week. I'm here today Cory is not here but I have a guest with me who you're probably rather familiar with by this time. I have my friend, lisa Robertson. She's been on the podcast. Is this your third time? Yes, three times now. So first she shared her story several years ago, which is super powerful. We'll put it in the show notes. And then we did a series on community and friendship, because that podcast kind of sparked a friendship. And then now we have just kind of lived life together over the last three years and we have more things that we want to share about. So really excited to have you on today. Thanks for having me. Yeah, okay, the first thing is we talked about your story a while back and how you and your husband got into foster care, and you and JJ are a big reason really that Cory and I got into foster care and I think that we've mentioned that.
Speaker 1:
I know, like you know, how you know how women are pregnant and then they're having a baby and they're like you did this to their husband. That's how I feel about you.
Speaker 2:
I always say foster care is contagious. So once you start hanging out like with other families that are fostering or you become friends with families that are fostering, it's just like a domino effect. It's contagious and you start loving on their kids and it removes these stigmas of like foster kids they're so scary and they have all these behaviors and they're really hard and you start babysitting for a foster family and then you fall in love with the kids in their home and then you're like I can do this.
Speaker 2:
And then you're licensed, and that's exactly how it was.
Speaker 1:
Yes and yeah. I mean a week Cory and I had talked about it and we just kind of watched you guys live life and your journey was such a testimony and it just pulled us right in. And so here we are, fast forward. Cory and I have been licensed for a year. You guys have played a huge role in that and actually, like technically, through the county as well, you're my mentor.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, our county has a mentoring program for new families, and so I was trained to be a mentor and then, when Cory and Bethany got licensed, they matched us together because they said well, they're gonna come to you guys anyways for questions, so it only makes sense that you'd be their mentor.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, so it's been great. So she's been. She's being paid to be my friend.
Speaker 2:
When I remember to turn in my hour, my gosh, you gotta remember that.
Speaker 1:
But anyway, this episode isn't gonna be like solely foster care today. I mean we're that's just a huge part of both of our stories now, so it's gonna be intertwined. But there's a bigger thing that we're talking about today which I'm excited. So, before we get there, give us the most recent update. So last we talked, you were licensed foster family or in the process of potentially adopting the placement that you had, but pick up.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, so our most recent placement was the longest placement that we've had, and he was with us two and a half years, and we just adopted him in September of 23.
Speaker 2:
So just last month when we're recording this, but leading up to his adoption, obviously it was like a very long road, and and I say long road in like Ohio's measurements, because I know there are states out there where two and a half years to adoption is like the blink of an eye compared to some kids that sit in the system for a really, really long time.
Speaker 2:
But in our local county two and a half years is a pretty long time for the start of a case to adoption, and so we have had time, my husband and I, to be talking about what does life look like after his adoption, and can we see ourselves bringing in more children?
Speaker 2:
And one thing I should add in the mix of fostering in January of this year I was hired as executive director of a nonprofit called Hope Bridge, and so just our family dynamics, just with that, have completely flipped upside down, where I'm working again and three out of four of our kids are in school, and so life just looks different in this season than it has for the last eight years of our fostering journey, and so with that, we've had time to talk and we have had time to wrestle with it and, in his case, has been a really emotionally, mentally trying case, and so, leading up to his adoption, my husband and I had multiple conversations and ultimately we landed that we were going to close our home after his adoption, and so we did.
Speaker 2:
One week after I sent an email actually it might have been the same exact week, because I just felt like we had to just rip this band-aid off, like it was really hard for me to step into that, to say that we were closing and I just wanted to get it over with. I think. We adopted him Monday and I sent my email Thursday and so, and then the following week our worker came out and we officially signed the paperwork, and so we are now a closed home and our fostering journey for now is that chapter is closed.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, so you talk about all of these things so much from a bird's eye view, and hearing you talk about it on the podcast versus living it with you, I mean you could never put it into one episode, obviously. There's just so much there. But and then, even like you saying, you close your home. I want to dive into that a little bit more, because this has been part of. I mean, you guys were licensed for eight years, right, but there was a lot of prayer and thought even before that. So foster care has been part of your life for almost a decade now.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, and so for a decade. Our biological daughter will be turning 12 in March, and so when she was about a year and a half was when we were really wrestling through, like what God had for our family, and we were led to think about foster care at that time, and then it was probably another six months before we actually applied to be a foster family. So, yeah, it has been about a decade that we've been involved with foster care in some way.
Speaker 1:
Yeah. So I'll just make a side note before I ask my question. I think it's really cool that we have had you on this now. This is not your third time. So you guys, if you are struggling with like purpose or like what's going on with my life or where is God leading me, I mean that's been the whole basis of this podcast. It's why we started it, just like purpose journey, and so I'm going to put Lisa's first episode where she talks about what led them to foster care, and then our episode where we talk about community and we were at a point in life where we were homeschooling together and both home and not working.
Speaker 2:
And now we are working and it's just been like it's kind of cool because now we can reflect, even just listening to your kind of it's just such a convoluted road and seeing yeah, how our story intertwines now with your story into foster care and, like I'm just sitting here thinking now, that conversation that we had back in 2020, where I just shared my story with you guys didn't know you from Adam and God was planting seeds then for you guys to become a foster family.
Speaker 1:
I know it's like so crazy. I had goosebumps thinking about it. So it's super encouraging just to look back and sometimes that helps me to hear other people's stories. So listen to those three and I think that you'll hopefully get some good nuggets and encouragement through that. But okay, so the decision to close you guys close. You're no longer a licensed foster family. How? How do you feel? I mean, this is fresh. It is very fresh. Yeah, how are you feeling with that?
Speaker 2:
I had to come to a point where I had to admit that like I needed to grieve it, like for the initial, like I said I needed to just rip the band-aid off was relief because there was this weight on my shoulders, especially through Grayson's case. It was so grueling, he went through so much, we went through so much because of that. We fought for him in ways that we had never had to fight for a child before and we were exhausted, like in so many ways mentally, emotionally, spiritually and I just felt like I don't know how I could fight like this again, like right now. And so initially closing, like signing that piece of paper, I felt relief and then it kind of set in, like I'm not a foster parent anymore, like this it was your mission, yeah, it was. And if you listen to my first episode I recorded with you guys, like it feels like you know, god has given me this mission and this is what he created me for and while there is so much truth to that and he does specifically call families to foster, that's not the only way to live on mission and that's kind of what I'm realizing.
Speaker 2:
Now. It's probably been a month since we closed and I'm just wrestling through all of that, like I felt like, for you know, the last 10 years, foster care is mission work and it is very much, but so is motherhood, and so is like being a godly wife and so is just like living as a Jesus follower in our community and there's so many other areas to live on mission and I'm just like needing to sit with that and remind myself of that because I don't know you get like you get this, this stigma as a foster family and you kind of start to take it on as an identity of that. You're this, you know person that was brave enough to answer this calling and God, you know, felt you worthy enough to do this hard work, and it is so much of that. But it's also there's value in other, in other work too.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, it's like if you don't keep it in a healthy spot, it almost can become an idol too yeah. And talking to you about this in real life and as you guys were navigating this decision, it was like should we close, shouldn't we? And it's I can. I think anybody who's going through change can relate to this.
Speaker 1:
It's like you have this thing and it's so much like you are certain it's what God has called you to. But you also feel this like restlessness in your stomach, like maybe I, maybe it's time to close the door on this. And then you're at this, at war almost with yourself.
Speaker 2:
Yeah.
Speaker 1:
What is the right decision?
Speaker 2:
And so, yeah, jj and I, my husband and I, we had so many conversations. We have a hot tub and that's where we like have our conversations, you know, because there's no phones, no kids, and we just are stuck with each other Right, we're stuck with each other.
Speaker 2:
Wow, we have to have, we have to talk, or it's awkward, you know. So now we have, we have good conversations, but that's just where we have found ourselves having like important conversations lately. And so we were in the hot tub talking about foster care and we were both just like, you know, where are you at? Where are you at with this? Like, what are you thinking?
Speaker 2:
And my husband, who had had not been wanting to close I had been more wanting to close for selfish reasons, like I'm done with this. This was too hard, this case was too hard. I've given too much to this Like I don't, I just don't feel like doing this anymore. And he came, you know, with more rational thought and godly thought, you know, and he said I just keep thinking that, like, what are my reasons for staying open? And the only thing I keep coming back to is pride. And when he said that I was like man, that's my reason too, but totally different Like his reason was pride, that he wanted to get to.
Speaker 2:
Like we've been, like we were licensed for eight years and closed, and in Ohio, I think, most dates are the same, but you re-license every two years, and so we were coming up on our re-licensure just next month and so we would then be set for two more years where we would hit 10 years of being a licensed foster family and he's like I just kind of want that milestone for us that we've been licensed 10 years. And he's like but ultimately, like that's pride, that I need to say that, like that's meaningless really, and mine was pride in that like and this is still something I'm wrestling through of like they need me, like they have so many kids in care right now like the most that they've ever had historically and they have so many. Like so few families, and like they need me and that's pride too. Like when you get down to the root of it, that I'm needed for this and they can't do this without me. And that's not true.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, man, I can so relate to that, our episode that just came out today. I was just talking about that, cause Cory and I had asked each other what's something you're like God's teaching you, and that for me, is it. It's like I not that I think I'm this important person because I don't, but it's like you sometimes can like if I don't do this thing, then who's gonna do it?
Speaker 2:
And like and that's and that's scripture too Like, if not me, who Like, that is scripture, and so I think that we can just get it muddied up sometimes whenever it's mission work.
Speaker 1:
Right and also we can hold on to things when God is trying to pull us somewhere else too, so okay.
Speaker 1:
So when, okay, like I'm just thinking of somebody who's out there and they're like, okay, I feel this and there's something that maybe I might be hanging on to, but I'm not sure, what did you do? Did you guys pray together? Was there scripture that you clung to through this time? I mean, as you guys were making this decision, I mean, is it just a gut thing, through prayer and journaling, I think that I mean we were both praying on our own.
Speaker 2:
I feel like for me, I've had these different seasons of life where I don't even know how to pray and God's just like smacking me over the head with things Like where I can't, where I can't ignore it. And I felt like that when we were called into foster care because it was not ever this thing that my husband and I wanted to do or dreamt about doing it was just all of a sudden this topic that we were having a conversation about and then we couldn't get away from it. Like everywhere we looked, every conversation we were in, every topic or sermon, there was something about foster care that we could not ignore it. And I feel like the same thing happened for me, calling me out of it, like telling me to close the chapter, and it honestly, was always like around rest and I can't even remember we sat down with our pastor and his wife and I just sobbed at their kitchen table. We were just in a really I don't know dark place. That life felt really heavy and we were in the midst of the case and we were struggling with some other things, with other kids in our homes, and we just went to them for advice, basically like parenting.
Speaker 2:
And Brandon, our pastor, he just encouraged me with the story of Elijah and he was in the midst of his sabbatical, which was the first time our church had ever done that for a pastor, and so he was in the midst of that, so he was in the season of rest and he was encouraging me with what he had been studying on Elijah, like the story of Elijah and how God had him rest and he provided and he provided for him. And so I feel like I have been just trying to even understand what rest is For the remainder of this case. Like how can I rest? There's no rest in this. Like, what is that saying? Like there's no rest for the weary? Is that the?
Speaker 1:
same Ain't no rest for the wicked, the wicked.
Speaker 2:
And that is not the case. Money don't grow on trees.
Speaker 1:
I got bills to pay, I got mouths to feed, and that's not what I'm thinking of.
Speaker 2:
But I just feel like it as a foster family. You get into this comfort with chaos and you just start to thrive there and life is so unsettled but you are settled in that. And so to hear that like to be encouraged to rest in the midst of chaos, I'm like that doesn't even. They don't even go together in my mind.
Speaker 2:
And so I haven't rested and but I kept just I don't even know other examples until after we closed our home we went to the CAFO conference and that pastor closed out the whole conference with the story of Elijah and about resting and in the wilderness and how God equips us with just taking the next step but calls us to rest and cares for us there. And I feel like that was just. It was just the spirit nudging me along and reminding me that like I'm supposed to be entering this season of rest and I still don't know what rest looks like for me or for our family in this season. And you know I feel like I could never just sit still and do nothing, that I've been a foster parent and I know the need and have seen the things I see, but I do feel like that was what I couldn't get away from, was just this constant nudge of like you need to rest, you need to rest.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, so two things I want to talk about in a second. I want to talk about, like, the next piece, because you had just alluded to it a little bit and like you were just saying you could never. I mean, you didn't exactly say this, but you closed the door. You closed your home, but you didn't close the door in foster care.
Speaker 2:
So I'm excited to talk about that.
Speaker 1:
But before I do, just talking about this rest piece, I'm just so thankful that, okay, we're gonna have to do like a whole podcast because there's so many details that we can't share on the podcast. But your last case has been eerily similar to our current case and I, you know we were friends through Grayson we can say his name because he's adopted. Now came the day that I was in labor with Maya, and so we got to be, you know, involved through the extent of that case.
Speaker 1:
And like we walked alongside you guys in that, but we weren't living in the turmoil that you were and I thought I understood and it was always like why is this happening? Why is this happening? And I don't know for sure why it happened, but part of me feels like we have some answers, because so much of Grayson's case. We're living it right now and like I get the wiser 10 steps ahead, lisa, who's lived it and is like you're saying to rest and that you wish you would have rested more, and that you wish you would have done this more and that more. And I'm living it right now and so I get to like do it, but do it with like it's like you're telling you.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, you know what I mean. I was actually thinking about that this morning, like Like I wish that I could tell you how to rest in the midst of this, but like I didn't do it and I couldn't find a way to do it. It's so hard but it was necessary. And yeah, this is like embarrassing to say, but also like it is what it is. My husband and I are leaving for four overnights, like just the two of us, and we have not done this more than one night since our almost 12 year old was four, like before we had our first placement. We did that. That's shameful. It is shameful. It is shameful. But I was thinking like I should tell Bethany and Corey that they need to plan a trip just the two of them.
Speaker 1:
It's impossible.
Speaker 2:
And then she's gonna say we can't, we have eight kids, right? And then I'm gonna say, okay, well, we're gonna divvy them up and we're taking some of them and who could take? And I was planning this in my head. This is why I'm so thankful.
Speaker 1:
It's like I couldn't have done this without, like I couldn't be doing what we're doing without Lisa telling me what I would do every step of the way. So I just don't even know how you did it.
Speaker 2:
Right, yeah, it's because you had God.
Speaker 1:
And this is the story he wrote for you.
Speaker 1:
And I'm so thankful. So, anyway, it's just really cool and I hope that we're not both dead in six months, which I feel like I very well could be after what I'm living, but who knows what we're gonna be talking about on podcast in six months. So, anyway, you close your home, but you are still very, very much involved in the world of foster care and what I wanna say is like, as you were kind of wrestling with, do we close, don't we? I'm sitting over here on the sidelines because I kept you kept saying, like you know you can't unsee it and like you still do need to make it.
Speaker 1:
Like, once you're in foster care, you realize the gravity of what's happening, and I think that you were just like you said you were wrestling with, like okay, I know the need, so how could I possibly close my home? But I'm sitting over here being and we're our family is so, so impacted, like there's no possible way that we could have five foster kids in our home without the guidance of you guys, and like, even more so than that, your world now is still so much, even more so in the world of foster care, and I think that's just God and an encouragement to anybody who might be closing a chapter on one thing, and they're scared about what is next, but they know, even though it doesn't make sense, that God is asking them to close the door on something. Can you like take off there? Do you have anything to say about that?
Speaker 2:
Yeah, so I mentioned that in January I started working again full-time for a nonprofit called Hope Bridge, and so we it's hard to just like wrap up what we do in an easy to understand sentence, but we work in advocacy of the foster care system.
Speaker 2:
We work primarily preventatively in the intervention space and the restorative space, and so we're working with single moms preventatively to help keep them from even being involved with children's services to begin with, by supporting them, equipping them, connecting them to resources Our intervention piece. We're working with foster, adoptive and kinship families in our local communities, and so we are wrapping around families that are in the trenches, supporting them, encouraging them, connecting them to resources. And we are working with our local county in different ways, building relationships there just lots of different things with our local foster care system, raising awareness, equipping churches to step in. One big thing that we're doing with churches is helping them to build care communities around families. Some churches are building them around foster and adoptive families. Other churches are building them around biological families that are in a vulnerable place and foster families in their congregation. So it looks different depending on the church, but the care community model is this wrap around support for families that basically are needing more support and encouragement. Yeah.
Speaker 1:
And so Did I answer your question. Yeah, you talked about Hope Bridge, which to me, as an outsider, it's crazy to hear you say. You know the need and you've, you know it's like cool to sit back because, yeah, you could maybe have stayed open and taken one kid, I mean you already have four kids. And surely you would have been impacting them positively. But even then, like you had a gut check and you were like I don't even have the capacity or energy to pour into another case right now.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, and I think I shared this with you before but the work of Hope Bridge, I feel like, yeah, it's huge and like we're making huge impacts and I know that the work that I'm doing can potentially impact hundreds of kids, versus one child in my home. I know all that but I just like push it off on the back burner, like yeah, yeah, that's just work, like what am I doing missionally? But I know that's crazy.
Speaker 2:
It is crazy, I'm very mad, like wrestling through this of like I am doing that missionally through Hope Bridge now.
Speaker 1:
And like, even if you had another case and we were both walking, like walking alongside each other and friendships, we would both just have crazy cases that we wouldn't be able to be brought into. And so selfishly, you know, it's like, you know that image of there's like a little boy and he is, I think he's holding like a little raggedy teddy bear and Jesus is standing there and the little boy is like, but I don't wanna give it up, and Jesus behind his back has like this huge, huge teddy bear behind his back, because he wants the little boy to give up his little raggedy teddy bear so that he can give him this really big, beautiful one. And I feel like so often that's how we are. We like cling onto these things that become our identity or become idols and we're like I just I don't think I can give this up, but God has so much more beautiful things planned that we could ever imagine.
Speaker 1:
That doesn't mean they're not gonna be hard, right? So anyway, it's been encouraging and like inspirational to kind of see you navigate these waters and do it well, because you I feel like you've been obedient in closing your home and God's gonna honor that obedience by who knows what the impact is gonna be through Hope Ridge. And something I'm really excited about Is what's coming up next for Hope Ridge that I get to be a part of.
Speaker 2:
I know she's been talking to us about doing it for months and that we all finally had the courage to say yes and it's gonna be awesome, so do you wanna share the news? Sure. So Hope Ridge is launching a podcast called Restorade and we are going to be sharing stories of transformation, transformation, restoration, ultimately, stories of Hope surrounding the foster care community and stories that we've been involved with or heard about or have impacted us, and that is launching November 13th.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, and so it's hosted by Lisa, who you guys know well by now. Nicole Bowman, who's been on the show and she's absolutely incredible, has an incredible story. Brian Troyer, who's also all these people are part of Hope Ridge, an adoptive and foster parent, and then Melanie, who is not currently licensed anymore, but she's a social worker and an adoptive mom and she runs a single moms program. So it's basically like we get to create the content that it's almost like what we all wish that was out there.
Speaker 2:
Absolutely yeah, and so we're going to be having the conversations that honestly I would have with Bethany as a friend, like over a cup of coffee, about foster care or what you should do in this situation and just tackling the hard conversations that you probably aren't having unless you are connected to a solid community of foster families.
Speaker 1:
Like, you're certainly not getting it in training.
Speaker 2:
No.
Speaker 1:
You're not hearing it from the county and it's like no shame on them. They're busy, they have you know, they're kind of set in their ways. They have their things that they have to do. But it's like things that we all wonder, like how do I navigate this biological parent relationship? How do I navigate my relationship with my social worker? What's the chain of command? Single moms, like so much different stuff.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, and Hope Bridge. We just about all of our programs. We say that they are relational programs and they are. We're all about building relationships, whether it's relationships with biological families, relationships with the county, relationships with other foster and adoptive families in our community, relationships with businesses. We are wanting to build intentional relationships, genuine relationships, not just for you know what can, how can you serve me, but we're asking how can we serve you and how can we build this relationship so that you know there's trust there, and so that's very much the heart behind the podcast too that we're wanting to serve you with really valuable, intentional and genuine information about everything foster care and adoption, yeah.
Speaker 1:
So the day that this comes out, the trailer will already be out on every podcasting platform that you can imagine the. So all the links to the Hope Bridge podcast page will be in the show notes. So you I would encourage you to follow it and stay tuned, because episodes will be releasing next week and it's going to be an incredible resource. But is there anything that you want to add that you feel like we forgot? I mean, we this whole episode kind of spiraled from Marco Polo, which is like basically our whole friendship, right it is. You know there's a lot.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, I know there is a lot and, like I said, like I'm still unpacking everything and just like obeying those, those subtle nudges still, and they're just completely opposite of you know, what I had done for so long and you know that that did become a piece of my identity, that I'm just, you know, I'm a foster parent, I'm a foster parent and and so now it's like this chapter is closed and just continuing to listen to the spirit and obey the nudges that are telling me the opposite thing that they told me 10 years ago, you know, which was was was so difficult to want to obey then because it was like I mean, stepping into foster care is a big commitment and a big ask from the Lord and a big obedient step forward.
Speaker 2:
And so to step away from something that took so much faith to step into was difficult and it was like a new way of like laying your life down and trusting that God's got this, that he's carried us through this mission work for so long he's going to continue to carry us in a new way. Yeah, with the teddy bear picture it's. It is that internal wrestling of like, but this isn't like foster care. You know, like this isn't worthy work compared to foster care, like the old raggedy teddy bear has has Like been through it and it's like holds value there because you're it's raggedy for a reason, and like that mission work was so worthy, you know, and it was like this Honorable walk that we did like like we laid our lives down for the Lord and we were drug through it. So like do I want that new teddy bear that looks nice and right like this come. This raggedy one is like I found comfort here now.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, because Totally and like the life that you are now entering into, like you were just saying, like it's, um, it's much less chaotic, right, it like seems too easy to be, meaningful, yeah, and so that's where I'm like no, that's not true, like that's a lie from the enemy, actually, absolutely, and I think moms can relate. Right like that. We feel like as if we're a stay-at-home mom.
Speaker 2:
I mean, so many people can relate to this, but like we don't have to be martyrs of our circumstances for them to be worthy Mm-hmm and like, ultimately, god has trusted me with these children, three of them through adoption and I'm going to answer for my you know my response to that one day and so like I need to do this really well now right, it's now a season of okay, you have your family, so let's pour into these and this family and shape these little souls that you've been entrusted with right, because it's like such an Exciting it is exciting and in another Sigma is like, oh, just get to adoption.
Speaker 2:
But no, really, like adoption isn't where things end. Like you, you're adopted for life. You have their whole life ahead of you then. And so, yeah, we're just. We were feeling Like we had very little mental margin, very little emotional margin and Like if we took another child, what would I even look like like we couldn't do it Well anymore because of where we were at after everything and Wanting to do it well for the children that God had called us to forever.
Speaker 1:
And so that's ultimately what, where we landed, yeah, I'm just so excited for what's to come and, okay, that's all really great. I have a question, okay, where Listeners out there? So you're talking about rest. It's obviously something you struggle with. It's for sure something I struggle with. What are you doing in this new season? Like, have you intentionally that's just like a fun question To send people away with have you intentionally decided on ways to rest in this season? Are you still trying to figure that out?
Speaker 2:
Well, we're taking this trip, so I'm gonna rest while we're there physically. Yeah, I don't know, I'm still figuring it out like what I don't even know, and that's something that I feel like maybe only foster parents could relate to, of coming out of that chaotic season of just like everything about life is unknown like Am I gonna get another kid today, you know?
Speaker 2:
you know, you know, to just thriving in the chaos. To all of a sudden, like no, this is it, like this is our forever. I'm not getting a phone call today. My name's not even on the list anymore. There's nothing unforeseen. I mean obviously normal, right like no more court dates.
Speaker 1:
Just to paint the quick picture, like with foster care, you have court dates, you have doctors appointments, you have visits with bio parents bio parents for you know, three months. It could look like building that really going home and then out of nowhere they're staying.
Speaker 1:
or they do go home and then out of nowhere they're back. It's just so unpredictable. Right, the best sorry to cut you off, but like the best way that I'm realizing in this moment is like it's fall right now and I used to just love to drive around and like and look at the leaves and soak it in and like, feel fall, and I realized just yesterday I was like, oh, the leaves are beautiful and I haven't even enjoyed the season, yeah. The last year, yeah.
Speaker 2:
I would say honestly, little things like that is what I have the capacity for, to think about right now.
Speaker 2:
Like enjoying, like being intentionally present, is something that it doesn't sound like rest, but I think it is for me, because Intent like being intentionally present isn't often possible with foster care, because you're always thinking about the next thing and, like you said, the next court date and the next family team meeting and what's the work are gonna say after the visit, and you're just always Thinking about the next thing and it's really hard to just sit and be intentionally present. And so I was even just thinking, as we head into like the quarter months, our, our kids like love to be outside and they're gonna be pushed inside, and thinking about like, okay, could we do like game night on Tuesday nights, like we're gonna play a board game and like, yeah, maybe family hot tub night, like Friday nights or something like just to work things into our schedule. That it's giving us intentional time together. Because for me I really think like that's rest, because we haven't had that, because it's been so unpredictable and scattered.
Speaker 1:
Mm-hmm yeah.
Speaker 2:
I feel, it.
Speaker 1:
I'm a little bit jealous, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:
No, I'm sorry I drug you in it.
Speaker 1:
You're the old ragged teddy bear, but we can also figure out ways to live vicariously through you, because it's not gonna happen. No, I thank you for coming on again. I just really value our friendship. I'm just I mean, it's just a god thing that we're even friends and I so appreciate it. So, yeah, thanks for coming on. I'm so excited for this podcast to come out and you're gonna kill it Like you just kill everything. So, um, yeah, check it out, check out her previous episodes, and then the Hope Ridge podcast will be in the show notes. You.