What role do sports play in your family?
In this episode, we lace up our cleats for an in-depth exploration of youth sports, family life, and living out Christian values in modern society. We're not just talking about juggling schedules; we're diving deep into how these elements weave together, shaping lives and strengthening families.
From coaching as a mission to prioritizing faith in the whirlwind of athletic pursuits, we're tackling tough questions and sharing personal insights to support and inspire those navigating the same playing field. Everyone has their own view on the place sports should take in their lives. Some make it a high priority, while others find importance in other things.
We invite you to take a listen while you're on your way to the field, doing dishes, or just getting things done around the house and take an in-depth look at the role youth sports play in your family.
Episode Highlights:
Links Mentioned in Episode/Find More on A Force to Be Reckoned With:
This show has been produced by Adkins Media Co.
What role do sports play in your family?
In this episode, we lace up our cleats for an in-depth exploration of youth sports, family life, and living out Christian values in modern society. We're not just talking about juggling schedules; we're diving deep into how these elements weave together, shaping lives and strengthening families.
From coaching as a mission to prioritizing faith in the whirlwind of athletic pursuits, we're tackling tough questions and sharing personal insights to support and inspire those navigating the same playing field. Everyone has their own view on the place sports should take in their lives. Some make it a high priority, while others find importance in other things.
We invite you to take a listen while you're on your way to the field, doing dishes, or just getting things done around the house and take an in-depth look at the role youth sports play in your family.
Episode Highlights:
Links Mentioned in Episode/Find More on A Force to Be Reckoned With:
This show has been produced by Adkins Media Co.
We are at war and it's not against our neighbors, spouses, children, politicians or whatever else we feel like we're battling against.
Speaker 2:So the questions are who's the fight against, and are we winning or losing? We're the Adkins, and we are a force to be reckoned with.
Speaker 1:Are you ready to join?
Speaker 2:the force. Welcome everybody. No, it's not welcome, yet I gotta hit record on the video oh it's welcome for the audio portion. Welcome, I hope you guys are doing really good.
Speaker 1:Welcome to the video portion now. What you didn't hear is that she just welcomed the audio people.
Speaker 2:Come on, do you lie? I had a really beautiful intro, and then Gory.
Speaker 1:Wait, what was the beautiful intro?
Speaker 2:I was like I hope you guys are truly doing well. Truly, I've been thinking about you. I was driving down the road. I was thinking about our listeners. I was genuinely thinking about you and thinking I actually hope they're doing good, because sometimes you're not. I hope that you guys are. Then Gory had to just laid it on. Drag my name through the mud and now I know I'm not perfect.
Speaker 1:Nobody's gonna hear it.
Speaker 2:Last year, our last week, we talked about what to do when you and your spouse don't agree. Well, we might be testing that one live this week. No, I'm just kidding. Anyway seriously hope you guys are doing well. There's a lot going on in our world. We have been. We just went out to lunch.
Speaker 1:Wait a minute after we just had our first paid speaking engagement in front of seasoned entrepreneurs, yeah, what are you talking about? 40s to 60 year old entrepreneurs. We just had Speaking engagement. We just had today. What do you mean?
Speaker 2:I don't think I was on the same. Are you making something up? Are you talking about what we actually did?
Speaker 1:Yeah, Okay, I was confused. That's called sarcasm.
Speaker 2:Well, we actually did have a really cool opportunity, but like are, we really gonna go to the details.
Speaker 1:No, we really did we have an amazing church.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we had Judy on like a year ago.
Speaker 1:Judy.
Speaker 2:McClintock, incredible. She interested us to speak to some of the youth at their annual like weekend conference at church and, seriously, yeah, middle school and high schoolers and they left.
Speaker 1:They're gonna be scarred for life. By my scarred for life, just like all of you get to be scarred for life on a weekly basis.
Speaker 2:This is the thing I okay, we are gonna talk about this just for a second.
Speaker 1:Okay, here we go.
Speaker 2:No, this Can we before we dive in this?
Speaker 1:can we just get a word from our sponsors?
Speaker 2:No, this is my. We're gonna do that.
Speaker 1:I want to drink this. So bad Okay this is.
Speaker 2:This is we're just, we're not gonna fester on this.
Speaker 1:Hurry up, I'm thirsty this is my heart.
Speaker 2:The podcast is my heart. Families you know all of it. That's why we started it. Young adults, teens and I am still practicing. Well, I don't even I can't even explain it. It's just, sometimes I do really good in those spaces and sometimes I get in my head. And today I got in my head and I'm beating myself up a little bit, okay, and there's no explanation, there's no precursor, there's nothing like. That's like you're good, this, oh, it's gonna not be good, or I'm just not a consistent public speaker.
Speaker 1:You are, you're naturally that you're not naturally, I'm not naturally.
Speaker 2:Well, you are now because you've been able to do it a lot.
Speaker 1:I developed. I think the thing is maybe I put too much pressure on myself, but anyway, it was an awesome opportunity and you did a good job. You had multiple people talking about this. I'm so embarrassed. You did a good job.
Speaker 2:You did a good job.
Speaker 1:I'm so sorry, I'm bummed man. I'm bummed Because these middle schoolers are just in their toilet and they're not answering your questions because they're middle schoolers.
Speaker 2:No, it was because I put too much like expectation for it to be like conversation and see, I don't know that way. I was like oh, anyway.
Speaker 1:I know zero expectation.
Speaker 2:I'm so thankful that we had the opportunity. You got rave reviews. Oh my gosh, you got good reviews. I think we just make a better duo. I mean, don't you feel like that?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm actually curious to see what this would be like in front of people, because I feel like it could be a complete just Totally no.
Speaker 2:But like I, genuinely, this is what I will say. One, I don't compliment you very often, right To I'm gonna compliment you, so it's really hard.
Speaker 1:Everybody bear yourself for this one.
Speaker 2:But You're you're really good at teaching. You're a great teacher. It's a gift that God has given you. It's a passion that God has given me. It's a gift that God has given you, and so One. I just love seeing you in your element, and that's why I'm Honestly this is a podcast episode that we're gonna talk about what when we were at the conference and I got to see you teach, I was like this is like so Attractive.
Speaker 2:One, to see your spouse in their element. But two it's just like wow, god has given you such a gift and I aspire to be more like you. But two I truly feel like you're my better half, and I used to be oh for sure, you realize it when we do these.
Speaker 1:Okay, let's even look at this. The thing we just did, like your presentation was so Like you weren't there, I wasn't in on your thing. But your slides were like very like, well designed, well put together. They had a nice thing to it. Mine was like Black and white and I'll put a couple pictures up now, just wing it right, like I'm the creative and I got like my problem is I have so many ideas.
Speaker 2:It's like I can't articulate them because it's like like bouncing, like little atoms everywhere, yeah, and yours is like you Can just fill dead air.
Speaker 1:I just I just kind of. I can wing it. It just goes from thoughts. But like pictures and things remind me of what I wanted to say.
Speaker 2:Which also reminds me, like, why our personalities are so different. I was thinking about this the other day. Like I Cannot. First of all, first of all, I cannot stand small talk, it's cannot. Like I don't care about the weather, I don't care about.
Speaker 1:Like I care about.
Speaker 2:I don't care. I don't care and it sounds so bad, but like I want to talk about the deep stuff. But because of that I'm so awkward, because you can't just go up to me like so tell me about your divorce, like you know what I mean. You just can't, and so then I'm like how that happened. Yeah, like so tell me what's going on now biggest struggle as a parent.
Speaker 2:I know I just met you but like, but that's like what I want to talk about. But you're the opposite, like, and it drives me crazy because sometimes I just want to go deep and you're just like how was your day? And I'm like good, and you're like okay, so you want to watch TV. But we're so different and I think that's why we balance the balance each other out so well and why this works when you agree. Yeah don't you feel like we're so different?
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're. Yeah. We're a lot different, but we're also a lot alike in other ways too. Yeah so anyway you are my better have drinks, yeah, yeah all that to say.
Speaker 2:I think that this kind of stuff works really well as a duo all.
Speaker 1:So thirsty.
Speaker 2:Okay, so this show that thing sponsored by Alani.
Speaker 1:Alani, they're gonna want to everybody's been talking about these, but I gotta say about them everybody's been talking about these.
Speaker 2:What do you have?
Speaker 1:I've got ghost. I got sour green apple warheads.
Speaker 2:So we just went to the gas station we picked these. It's actually the show is not sponsored, but we're gonna do a live taste test you already opened. Well, I did open mine.
Speaker 1:I've never had yours.
Speaker 2:I've never had yours. I've never had mine until like five minutes ago and I had a sip and I was like wow, wow.
Speaker 1:All right, so can I yeah? If you guys haven't known, don't know. But if you tap the little tab thing on your thing, it's not supposed to explode if it was shaken.
Speaker 2:Well, guess what if you go like this?
Speaker 1:Please don't put that on camera like this Stop.
Speaker 2:I didn't say anything down like that yeah well, it's closed. It doesn't do it either. I saw it.
Speaker 1:Okay, well here, oh yeah, like that sound. All right, you're gonna go first. You want me to?
Speaker 2:get yours.
Speaker 1:You go ahead first.
Speaker 2:Sorry, sorry, people that have that weird phobia what about drinking?
Speaker 1:The swallowing, oh yeah if you have a phobia about swallowing, I think you've got some issues, man. Wow mine smells good.
Speaker 2:Wow, that's good.
Speaker 1:Oh, mine smells like green apple. There we go.
Speaker 2:I'm rating this like an eight and a half out of ten.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's good.
Speaker 2:This is like Name your baby after it. Good Like I might you're gonna name your next child, alani.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna name ours ghost. Okay, alani ghost. Okay, let's trade, let's trade. Okay, I'm not gonna drink too much of yours, cuz yours is poison.
Speaker 2:Cherry twist yeah, sour green apple, is it sour?
Speaker 1:Oh, it smells good. It's not as sour as you might think. Good, good, but it has a little yours is good, but I can taste the poison.
Speaker 2:Cuz you have.
Speaker 1:Cyanica ballam in yours.
Speaker 2:I can taste the B12. You say you can taste the poison. Yeah, I can taste plastic in this one.
Speaker 1:There's no plastic in there. I looked it up, look at everything on it it's good. Yeah, but your, your B12 is good, it's not that good from cyanide. What did you just do to the camera? I wasn't paying attention. You told me it was good. Dude, quit chugging my drink. Give me that thing, are you joking?
Speaker 2:I kept saying it wasn't that good, and I was over here chugging, I don't know, I think that's good.
Speaker 1:Epic focus zero sugar, no artificial colors.
Speaker 2:Tracy.
Speaker 1:Mine has methyl cabalamin in it, the B12, so mine is good, it's methylated.
Speaker 2:Tracy. We're so sorry, tracy would not approve of these energy drinks.
Speaker 1:There's probably something in here she wouldn't like Sucralose.
Speaker 2:All right. So we did the taste test, we did the All the other stuff and today what is astral?
Speaker 1:astragalus Membranesius root extract. Look that up.
Speaker 2:Um, so anyway, I rated by an eight and a half out of ten. What'd you rate mine I?
Speaker 1:Don't give it like maybe a seven.
Speaker 2:Okay, what I rate? Yours a seven.
Speaker 1:Yeah, of course you do. Cuz I already said mine, I'm gonna get mine. Really, I'm gonna give mine Probably an eight because there's I think there's some better flavors out there. Mm-hmm, I mean, I like my flavor. Yeah, I like all the good ingredients in it, though.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was pretty good. I liked both of them. So if you guys want energy drinks, I mean maybe you should go buy one.
Speaker 1:Disclaimer this is only intended for persons 18 years or older. Okay, so if there's any children listening.
Speaker 2:All right allegedly we gotta, we gotta keep going. So today we are talking about which one we're doing. Sports, youth and sports. So we're gonna talk about a controversial topic, yeah, one that really I wouldn't say we have resolution to. And Two I definitely have thoughts on. And three I know a lot of you guys out there have thoughts on, because I talked to my friends about this and a lot of people and I hear it on social media.
Speaker 1:And then also, yeah, we're not experts, I'm gonna guess before this starts, that we're gonna agree on some stuff, disagree on some maybe, or maybe we'll completely agree. I don't know. Yeah also these opinions are our own also, and we could be wrong and our opinion could change.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but the reason we're gonna start bringing up topics like that.
Speaker 1:Crack open a cold one and enjoy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I might say colder, I'm talking about a ghost energy drink the reason we're gonna start talking about topics like this is because they're hot topics were families. We're trying to navigate, you know, all this stuff out here and I think that you might not walk away. Well, like we don't want to that's what we were just talking about at lunch Like I don't want to just put podcast episodes out or we're like oh do X, y and Z and A, b and C, because we're just doing life with you guys too. So we just kind of want to open dialogue and share thoughts and share our thoughts and maybe give you guys like new perspective.
Speaker 1:Honestly, if we do that, we're limited because we don't know that much.
Speaker 2:Yeah, true. So we just want to do life with people who are trying to be their best, raise their families and Live the life that God intended them to do. So a big piece of our lives is sports right now spots and so, all right, we have three kids of our own, three biological kids, so far for foster kids. We do so far two of the three Well yeah, mine's not old enough. Yeah. Are in sports and a significant amount of sports.
Speaker 1:So the controversy, I think, is that there are especially for Christians. There are some people and even non-Christians there are people that are like my kids aren't gonna do sports, like sports aren't important and we need to make sure we go to church six times a week and do that over sports and da-da-da-da. And then there are. We live in a culture now, too, that's becoming more popular. That was not this way when I was being raised, but they're playing sports literally all year round. Yeah, you know, throughout the-, in, all week round. Multiple practices throughout the week, there's clubs for everything. Weekends are taken away, all of that so, and there are even people too, that Christians, where they're like their kid, will commit to playing a sport and then they won't let them go if there's games on a Sunday, like ever too. So there's all kinds of different views on this.
Speaker 2:Yeah, right, and I can already feel. I can feel the tension in there because I feel like we have friends that have every spectrum of opinion on this, and I don't know, so-.
Speaker 1:So you wanna know my view, yeah, okay. So here's my view, and I think it's evolved over the years. I used to have a very Like. What if our views the same it might be, but okay, so I used to. I used to when I was younger, and I've coached basketball for a very long time now, on and off for about 20 years, and I used to put a lot of importance on sports.
Speaker 2:Your whole family did.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and really it was basketball. Basketball was a thing and basketball is a sport. You can play all year round.
Speaker 1:You can play you, you can play school ball, you can play tournament teams, you can go get trainers and coaches and all this stuff. And for me and I coached basketball and I've coached I coached Liberty's team during the fall this year, I coached and then there was a couple of week overlap I coached Carter's Y League team. At the same time I've coached his travel team. Y League ended at Christmas time and then we're gonna finish up the travel ball here at the end of the February and so really it's been since August. I've been coaching basketball August or September, actually, I think it might've been September. Anyways, I think for me it depends on there's different. I think there's different ways to look at it. So why are you playing basketball? What's the motive behind it? How are you using basketball? And my thing today in talking to the middle schoolers was you know I was talking about entertainment, but I was talking about how you start first with your relationship with Christ and then that it's not that. That's your number one priority out of all things. It's that-.
Speaker 2:It's not that your relationship with Christ isn't your-.
Speaker 1:No, it's not that God. Like people say, what's your number one priority, and everybody's churchy answers God, and then family and then friends and it's like okay, it's not that. God is your number, is your first priority. It's that and then that's it by itself. It's that your God and your relationship with Christ wraps around everything else in your life.
Speaker 2:And it should touch every little piece. So God is at the center of everything you do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, God is at the center. It's not that he's just one, it's that he's at the center and everything else should stem out from that. It's not a linear thing. It's more of like a I don't know a web.
Speaker 1:I don't know all touching, based off of your relationship with God, so prioritizing that relationship.
Speaker 1:So my point was is that it didn't matter whether you're playing sports, you were playing a musical instrument, you were writing and had people go around and tell me they're different passions.
Speaker 1:It could be even if you're playing video games and watching TV, like all these things should be. God is touching all of those things and it's all centered on your relationship with him. So, for sports, if we let sports be our God and we don't use it as a way to reach others, because it was all stemmed on the when they asked Jesus what the greatest commandment was love the Lord, your God, with all your heart and all your mind and all your soul. And the second is to love your neighbor as yourself, and so utilizing sports as a way to reach others. So for me, coaching and Carter playing right now is this is an opportunity for us to reach kids on the team, and not in a Bible thumping I'm in a way to do it, but by being a good, by just living your life, with your faith on display, because you have a relationship with Jesus, you don't hide it, and being good at something, you can reach others.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and so I think that that is a great answer. I would agree with that. I also think that's why there's various answers to this question. I think the question we're posing is basically kids and sports. Can you be a good Christian and do weekend sports, sunday sports, year round sports? Because I feel like that's the controversy, because you hear people who are like I've, like you said, if sports are on Sundays, we're not doing it. Church is a priority. If it's year round, like we're not doing it because church camp is here. And I hear you. But I think the reason that the answer is different is because you, each family, has the mission that God calls them to and so, like some people, their mission might be within the church like you're working within the church and that's where you are and you have to serve that well.
Speaker 2:And we I mean church absolutely is a priority Like we make it to church as much as we possibly can, but with.
Speaker 2:the church isn't a building, that's the thing, the church is the body of people, and so I don't completely agree with that, because if there might be a family who's saying we can't do sports because we go to church on Sundays, but then the parents get up, they yell at the kids and tell them get to church, they go to church, they open their Bibles, they close their Bibles, they put them away. They don't see them again until next Sunday.
Speaker 1:And it's like they're very legalistic about it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I'm not saying that that's every family, I'm just saying you have to figure out, like, what God is calling your family to. And for us, sports have been a mission field and not, like you said, not in a crazy way, that's like indoctrinating kids, it's just like our faith is on display and I think, even recently, more this hasn't evolved because for so many kids, sports are an outlet and you've even been able to connect with kids who are like really popular kids at school, who are struggling with different things and have been able to come hang out at our house and because of that opportunity for you to coach, you are connecting with these kids first and then, through that connection, they're getting to see our faith on display.
Speaker 2:It's not like you're going to basketball and saying, all right guys, let's talk about Jesus.
Speaker 1:You know, I've never had a basketball study before Not that anything would be wrong with that, in the right setting too. And for me too, my perspective with coaching is that I'm using it to teach kids about life. And I mean realistically. There's probably no kid that I'm coaching right now and, honestly, if I think back, I could probably go back to the kids I've coached before that any of them maybe played college basketball, let alone became pros. So why are you doing this? Because I'm teaching them life lessons. I'm teaching them how to work together as a team working. Teaching them how to overcome adversity, how to have good attitudes when things aren't going your way, how to have a work ethic and work hard at something and then see improvement in that.
Speaker 1:You know all of these things are intertwined with basketball and most sports. You learn a lot, and these things really, honestly, aren't taught in schools, and there's not many other places that young people can experiment with this. Yeah, so like at the Foreverlong conference, we had David Baker there and he is part of the football hall of fame. He's the guy that knocks on the hall of famers doors, and he said that when he saw Foreverlong with artificial grass. Is that in a sports environment.
Speaker 1:We're creating an environment that kids can test themselves on and it's like this little experiment box where you get to test out adversity and playing as a team, all the things that I just talked about, and so, like I see that through sports. So it depends on what your motivation is, because there's coaches out there that try to live vicariously. You know through the life that they didn't have and they didn't achieve things in sports, so they're trying to live vicariously through the team or through their kids, and they put a lot of pressure on kids and they just they don't look at it that way. They're not uplifting to the kids too, and so I'm trying to use it in a way to teach these kids these different life lessons and be, you know, just be a good role model for them as much as I can.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So something you said that stuck out to me that I hear a lot is I hear moms and parents like just saying people take sports way too seriously, like none of these kids are gonna make it big anyway, and I love that point that you said because I agree. I mean, yes, I do think that some of the parents get what like completely out of control and it's embarrassing, which you also have to remember. Like if you are using this as a mission field, you have to make sure you're composing yourself.
Speaker 1:So I know you're not talking about our parents, cause I haven't seen any of that. No, from our sixth grade, grade no.
Speaker 2:I feel like our parents are great.
Speaker 2:But then I also wonder sometimes are they which? This is a struggle for me. I am not a great coach's wife because I just it's a big sacrifice and I know you can't please everybody and so that's hard for me because I want everybody to be happy and I'm not like super competitive and like I want to make sure all the kids are playing equally. I don't really care as much about winning and I don't like when parents one, I don't like when parents are upset period, but two, when I know like the heart that you put into it and how much you truly, truly care about the kids, it bothers me because it's such a sacrifice to our family. Why did I get on that?
Speaker 1:Oh, because the parents acting up?
Speaker 2:No, our parents don't act up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they don't act up. It's not like anybody's getting kicked out of games or anything like that. That's where I was going with it, but honestly hey, you didn't let me finish my point, sorry.
Speaker 2:Okay. So my whole point in saying that, like you have to remember, okay, if this is a mission field, if for me and I'm here on a Sunday and I love church and I, and that's truly what I mean you can't go to those games and be like coaching drop-in F bombs and getting technicals, and you know what I mean yeah, like you need to be a well-composed person who loves people well, who loves your kids well, who coaches them well, who's hard on them and teaches them life skills, but also like equally, yeah, supportive to them, and same thing as parents. So that's one thing.
Speaker 1:like nobody's making it big anyway, it's not about that, it's about the life skills, just can I make a point on that too is like one of the big things I've worked on this year with our group is attitudes, you know, because if things aren't going their way, a lot of times they get bad attitudes. It's then leads to poor effort, which then leads to the game not turning out to be the way, that way that they want. And then the Inverse is true. Let's say we're playing a team that maybe isn't as skilled and we Get it, we're blowing them out and like there's that point where a lot of people know this, we're like that's happening and our kids are cheering and stuff, like there's a point where that becomes unsportsmanlike and looks bad upon us too. So it's like it.
Speaker 1:For me it's about representing. I tell them we're representing our community well, you're, you need to represent our community well, our team well, our school well, and your family well, right, and you're not gonna do that with bad attitudes either way. But I've either being unsportsmanlike and just not being a good person in that sense and like rubbing it in people's faces, and Also by you know things aren't going your way and you're rolling your eyes and throwing your hands up and you're upset with the ref, or You're upset because we just took out, or whatever it's where you're missing shots like yeah, there's just so much I want to say here, and I think that those are all like invaluable skills that you just can't learn in a classroom and you're not gonna learn.
Speaker 2:You know, sitting at home on Saturday with your parents.
Speaker 1:Can I say something controversial?
Speaker 2:Yes, but there's a couple things I want to say to you might.
Speaker 1:You're also Not gonna learn that through action and trying, by sitting in a pew, because you're getting instruction. You need to be able to take in the instruction and the information. But then part of being a Christ follower is then taking that head knowledge that you have and putting it into action. And for kids, playing sports is a great way to apply those things.
Speaker 2:Yeah and yes I agree. So the other thing about sports and it's something that we've realized a lot in this foster care journey and like with the controversy with our levy not passing and Like the potential of like losing some sports in our school system sports are Such an outlet for kids and I'm not saying all kids that play sports have bad home lives, but there are kids that don't have great home lives that use sports as an outlet. Like we're doing an event at the Hall of Fame this spring and I'm literally researching NFL players who, like, were raised in the foster care system and raised by single moms and and they talk about so much how football was that like safe place, that outlet for them, what an influence their coach had on them and those kids, like the likelihood of them Somebody dropping them off and taking them to church not very likely, but drop it off and taking them to football or dropping off and taking a basketball I mean pretty likely. I think it's such a valuable thing.
Speaker 1:How many of those, especially young men and young women, like, yeah, but especially for young men being coached by other men Get that male role model, that, whether it's in a single mom's home or they don't have a dad and they don't have a good male role model, or, let's be honest, even kids that have dads, that are in the home but aren't present in our total losers yeah, like it's a place for them to get good, good role models in that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, so here's my argument on the flip side.
Speaker 2:Yep that I Mean. I don't think you're gonna disagree. I think I actually think we're more on the page same page with this, as I Thought when we started. But something I will say when it comes to sports is that this is it's one. It's always gray like it's always this messy middle Often where the like right answer lies. It's not like absolutely no sports and it's not like all sports at all costs. It's somewhere in the middle and you just have to figure out, like where your middle is. But you also might not be a sports family. That's can apply to like if your family is a band family, it's Really any let anything that is your passions.
Speaker 2:Yes, but my point in saying this is it also changes Like it depends on the age of your kids.
Speaker 1:It depends on their passion level in it. They're passion level in it.
Speaker 2:It depends on where your family is. That like, if you're going through a hard season and we've had seasons like Carter used to play, he literally played sports year round.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you played we added it up and he had like one month off. Yeah, he played two or three years basketball, football, baseball.
Speaker 2:There was a time where he played soccer, then we had Liberty in sports and and we were like, okay, yeah, this is like sports are great, we love sports, but this is too much family, too much Madness, like we need to keep our family a priority. We need to as much as sports are great and we are still making church a priority, like our family needs time to center and spend time, quality time. So we actually ended up he Kind of organically eliminated baseball, but actually no, because we kind of encouraged him.
Speaker 1:We were like we can he was on the fence around we want to take family trips and he was on the fence.
Speaker 2:He was like all right, we're gonna not do baseball and he's never gone back. So we do hold on, we do get a break from I know this is like a topic you're like really passionate about, but this is the part that I'm passionate about because it's been such a struggle so we get a break from like March till August, which is when football starts back up. But Something else I'll say is like one as, as a coach's wife, I have to acknowledge that sports are just gonna be a sacrifice sometimes and it really sucks, but then also I think it's important for us both and I don't do this. Well, this is something I really struggle with. I struggle with just being too blunt and not giving enough grace, but like there also is a point where it's like, okay, this is beyond a sacrifice and I'm Drowning and like we need to readjust. So we're actually in that right now where like yeah, we have like I could.
Speaker 2:Seven kids. We have three kids under three. They came right in the heat of football season. Corey had already committed to coaching and it was it's been a real point of contention because he you're gone a lot and so I'm home a lot and I'm as a result missing.
Speaker 2:I've missed probably more than half of Carter's last season of you coaching him and it's been really hard. And I'm not like blaming you at all, but it's just it. When you get in point that points like that, like you, it's important to you Re-center, recalibrate and have good conversations around this, which that's the part that I struggle. It's like I Need to have more grace in my responses, but it's not easy because this is such a hard topic.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I was just gonna say just to back back up real quick about the baseball thing with Carter Is that he was saying I don't know if I want to play baseball next year. And I said to him and it was right after baseball season, I think it just ended, and and Maybe it's right after football season had ended, I don't remember anyways and I was like, well, let's wait till we get a little bit closer. I feel like you're making an emotional decision right now because all I know why because he was missing something he was gonna miss an event for for football, I think it was. He said I don't think I want to play baseball, it's my least favorite sport. And I was like, well, let's, let's just wait and you can make that decision later. So we waited until he was in an unemotional place to make that decision and and we didn't force him to continue to play baseball. It wasn't like he was quitting because you know he didn't play well or something like that. We let him just make a logical decision and to see what it was based on, and it made sense for our family for him to Not play.
Speaker 1:And we had the same conversation with Liberty, because she was playing also, and they both decided that you know what? Let's just not do this this year. And then they're again not doing it this year and it gives us that margin and Just a just a couple things. One in this season of life, but they were as crazy as everything has been. I had an opportunity to continue coaching basketball after this travel season was over, to coach it in a? U team and I just said, you know what? No, we just we've had a lot going on.
Speaker 2:We still be honest, though. Let's be honest what because it wasn't just. You were like no, it was like this is where it kind of, where you're talking about meets, where I'm talking about and Because this is like it's okay to be real about this, because this is what what couples struggle with, and Going back on our previous episode, talking about disagreements and then talking about alright, well, what happens when we're not on the same page and like how we?
Speaker 2:are navigating this because you I Mean he was almost signed up for that travel team one because you're good friends at the coaches. It's a great team. It would be great experience for Carter. He loves it. He won't.
Speaker 1:Carter wanted to keep playing and you wanted him to keep playing but wasn't even just that, it was also I was gonna, I was asked to coach. Oh, you were yeah, yeah, I told you that oh, okay and there was a part of me that wanted to. Yeah, but then at the same time.
Speaker 2:Like if I would have said abs, I would have been like you would have encouraged me to do it.
Speaker 1:It would have been on the fence.
Speaker 1:Yes, you were but I also needed to like Sometimes you guys say no to good, to say yes to great and sometimes you need, like I've been we've been had so much going on Since the since the end of summer and fall with coaching and foster care and everything that I need to be able to I need this time so that we can be together as a family. Am I? The rest of my kids need me to Right, and not that they're not getting time with me, but I'll be able to spend more time with them and with Hope Bridge. I need to be able to give more time to Hope Bridge and my job. Like I've had to sacrifice some things with every other category of my life for and really for each other.
Speaker 2:You know like it's this balance of trying to balance all the things, there gets to be a point where you can become burnout and your mission field no longer becomes you're no longer able to serve there because you're running on fumes. And I think that's kind of the point where we've been getting, where, like In this season of you coaching, it's been like, alright, there's an end in sight. We got a muster through it. Like this I'm gonna take on more of the home front stuff, you're gonna take on the coaching. We got power through it and I could honestly say like if you, if you, would continue in this season, it would not be good, it would not be good for our family, it would not be good for me and honestly, in Because of that, because of things going on at home and the stress that it would cause at home, it wouldn't be good for the kids.
Speaker 1:That you're coaching, so it's a change of mind if I told you that I was actually gonna get paid 20 grand a coach. I'm just kidding. No, but really let me think about that. Let me think about it.
Speaker 2:If it would, I Don't know, I actually don't know. That's actually another really good debate, because, because, it's all volunteer, it is all volunteer, but still, I still feel like we need time at home. We do. I was just joking, so I don't know that it would matter, so anyway so we could go on and on.
Speaker 2:I feel like we wrap up topic that we should talk about in regard to sports is later like what do I do when I sign my kids up for an activity and they Decide they don't like it? Like halfway through how, what do we do there?
Speaker 1:Okay, that's an easy one and we can just end it.
Speaker 2:No, just we'll talk about it later on a different podcast.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, oh, I could answer that and we could. That could be a 10 second podcast and done.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:The other thing I was gonna talk about. Just you know, as we're I'm assuming we're wrapping up but is the people that do decide to do year-round sports. And so one of the things for us with Making this decision, even with basketballs, I want my kids to like, I don't believe in doing something Halfway, like, if you're gonna try, like you're gonna put in your best effort. I wanted to be competitive, I want you to so. Like, I want you to be challenged, I don't want you just to be. If you're gonna be entering into basketball, I don't want to play in some little junk league with kids, you're just gonna dominate like. I want you to be in a competitive place and so, anyways. So, with that being said, you could, we could play basketball all your room, right, we could, but Knowing when to stop and to, even with this taking into account, like, the church thing.
Speaker 1:So, even though we've been playing basketball since, you know, for Carter, it was what November, october, his why league had no Sunday games, and then this travel league thing, one, one of the things I was a little disheartened by is that we entered into a rec league last year, that all their games are in the afternoon on Sundays, and so we were able to go to church every one of those Sundays.
Speaker 1:I was. I Would have made a different decision with the rec league we chose this year because that one wasn't running. I would have probably chosen the other rec league because a lot of their games were on Sunday mornings and I was not happy about that. But in a normal situation, like last year, we play in five tournaments and and not every single one of those tournaments is on a Sunday morning went for the playoff play and so, if we can, we're sacrificing. You know, let's say at most five Sundays Then that we're not going to be at church, but we prioritize as our family. It's important for our relationships with Jesus and our community to go to church for that reason, so that we can then flow out into the rest of the week to be who God called us to be, not to check a box and just be there and say we're good people.
Speaker 2:But but Does Sunday games? Knowing that there's gonna be some Sunday games during church, is that a make or break thing for you in?
Speaker 1:basketball For me, no, because I know that the other, you know we missed five. I know that for the most part, like the other, what is it? 47 Sundays? We're probably gonna be at church for the most part, like, let's say, let's go and say at most we miss another seven for family reasons.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but even like.
Speaker 1:But my point is is if basketball was gonna be every Sunday all year round, I would say no. If we had to miss church every Sunday for an entire year, all year round, for out there and our kids entire childhood, I would say no.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I agree with that, that's my point. I think the thing that bothers me is people get and this is the controversial part like people get way too hung up on I Can't miss church when they're far too focused on that, when really it's like what do you do the rest of the week? That even glorifies God.
Speaker 1:You know what I?
Speaker 2:mean, like some people get so hung up on the Sunday morning and I'm not saying that you should miss church, I'm not saying I actually think that church is so valuable and I think that people who just listened to church at home there's a place for that. But I also think you need to get your button church, because you need church right right but Like there are also Sundays throughout the year where we're like man, this week has been utterly exhausting and we need to be home right and that's okay.
Speaker 2:I just think when you get caught up in the though, is legalism the right word, like the like, no, I have to be in the pew on Sunday morning at all costs Then you've got it wrong.
Speaker 1:Yeah that's what I think I would agree and I, yeah, and there's both extremes that and I think it's a whole other yeah, whole other Podcasts too, that we could, we could do. But yes, that's that's my point. It's like I'm not. If it was gonna eat up the vast majority of my Sundays, then I would say no, but I'm okay with sacrificing five. Yeah, that's my point, because we do. We're not perfect, far from it, which is why we need Jesus in the first place, but we try to do our best every day to be Christlike and it into, into prioritize that relationship.
Speaker 2:We do fall short of it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we do, I'm working on my heart.
Speaker 2:Okay, I'm really working on my heart.
Speaker 1:We do, but it is a. Our hearts, though, are in a place where that's a priority to us, yeah, you know, and so tying into that relationship with Jesus to then bleed out into everything else.
Speaker 2:I think, I think we've made our point.
Speaker 2:Yeah so how are you guys? We would. I'm gonna do a post. I don't know what the post is gonna look like or what it's gonna say, but I want to do a post on my social media because I want this to be a conversation. What are, what are your guys thoughts on sports and church, christians and sports, missing Sundays for sporting events? Do you do it? Don't you do it? I would. I honestly would love to hear difference of opinions and different thoughts, because this is what works for our family, but it might not be what works for you guys, so would love to hear it. Hope you guys are well and we'll catch you next week.