Have you spent quality time with your loved ones this week?
This week, we're unraveling the importance of being intentional with our family time, especially during transitions and the regular evolution of our home dynamics. We explore the power of everyday moments, like dinner around the table and car rides without the radio, to foster deeper bonds and create a lasting sense of belonging.
Through laughter and deep recollections, we discuss the strategies that help us turn the mundane into the memorable. And it's not just about us; we're also unpacking the broader implications of family connections for personal growth and societal well-being.
Lastly, we're getting practical, sharing some of our favorite ways to engage with our kids—from chore involvement to candlelit dinners. We even throw in some recommendations for fun, easy games that can transform a simple night in with the family into something special.
So join us, as we tackle parenting, the pursuit of meaningful relationships, and the small actions that can lead to big changes in our lives—and maybe yours too.
Episode Highlights:
Links Mentioned in Episode/Find More on A Force to Be Reckoned With:
This show has been produced by Adkins Media Co.
Have you spent quality time with your loved ones this week?
This week, we're unraveling the importance of being intentional with our family time, especially during transitions and the regular evolution of our home dynamics. We explore the power of everyday moments, like dinner around the table and car rides without the radio, to foster deeper bonds and create a lasting sense of belonging.
Through laughter and deep recollections, we discuss the strategies that help us turn the mundane into the memorable. And it's not just about us; we're also unpacking the broader implications of family connections for personal growth and societal well-being.
Lastly, we're getting practical, sharing some of our favorite ways to engage with our kids—from chore involvement to candlelit dinners. We even throw in some recommendations for fun, easy games that can transform a simple night in with the family into something special.
So join us, as we tackle parenting, the pursuit of meaningful relationships, and the small actions that can lead to big changes in our lives—and maybe yours too.
Episode Highlights:
Links Mentioned in Episode/Find More on A Force to Be Reckoned With:
This show has been produced by Adkins Media Co.
We are at war and it's not against our neighbors, spouses, children, politicians or whatever else we feel like we're battling against.
Speaker 2:So the questions are who's the fight against, and are we winning or losing? We're the Adkins, and we are a force to be reckoned with.
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Speaker 2:join the force. Hello, hello, hello. Happy Tuesday. Union Town Ohio.
Speaker 1:Here we go again. It's not Tuesday. And what if they're listening on Wednesday?
Speaker 2:And also, what if they're not? In Union Town, Ohio? Probably not. Most people aren't. Most people who listen are not.
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Speaker 1:All of our downloads are coming from a bot farm in Kazakhstan. They've been duping us the whole time.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh. So all those Egypt?
Speaker 1:Hey, the jokes on all of our sponsors that we've had over the past few podcasts, Because listen, there's a fake.
Speaker 2:Yeah, all those Elani energy drinks are getting shipped over to Kazakhstan. Is it called Kazakhstan?
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Speaker 2:I don't know about that. I don't know about that.
Speaker 1:They can ship that Elani right on over there. I don't want it.
Speaker 2:Anyway, we hope you guys are doing well. We're so sorry to disappoint you. I know this is like what you look forward to every week. Every week you look forward to this. It's like back in the day when Netflix wasn't a thing and we couldn't just binge watch TV. And we watched a TV show and you know Seventh Heaven and the episode was over and you had to wait a full week for the next episode to come out, after a cliffhanger. And that's what you do for our podcast, we know, but we don't have anything fun. We're not. What are you eating under there tonight? We don't have any energy drinks to taste tests far too late. It's a daylight savings and what else did we do?
Speaker 1:Was it just the energy drinks? And then what are you eating under there?
Speaker 2:I think so.
Speaker 1:I think so.
Speaker 2:We need to get a little bit more creative.
Speaker 1:But I will say, we just had made those up on the spot like five minutes before we started.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So it's pretty disappointing that I mean we could turn on that big bright lamp over there and stare into it and see who lasts longer.
Speaker 1:I'm not having any part of that that's it. This is going to be a great podcast. I can see the creative juices are flowing. Oh my goodness.
Speaker 2:What do you want?
Speaker 1:Let's just stare into this light and see who lasts longer.
Speaker 2:Do you want to do a cold plunge in the swimming pool? Take off the cover. We'll just take the mic outside.
Speaker 1:All right, let's let's get on to the topic we do have a good topic.
Speaker 2:So, okay, we just had a it's it's Sunday night as you know, mostly we record on Sunday nights these days and we just had a weekend, a family weekend. So the two little ones went to be with their mom on Friday night, just for the night, and so we had Friday night and all day Saturday. And it was like kind of weird. It was our family of five, it was our three biological kids.
Speaker 1:Was that actually the first time in a year and a half?
Speaker 2:And it almost felt like the workload was like like three kids. It was like and also I will say, like our three kids are. They're so well-behaved? No, they're a good age. No, yeah, our youngest is independent. It's not a baby. So to go from seven to three and they're all independent, can perform all of their activities of daily living independently, I mean like no diapers.
Speaker 2:It was so good, so yeah, and we celebrated by his birthday this weekend. It was good, I mean all together. I probably read the weekend like a three and a half out of 10. I'm just kidding. Three and a half, I thought you were going to say out of five for a second.
Speaker 1:I'm like it's still kind of low.
Speaker 2:But no, it was a good weekend. I was just kidding about that. What was your favorite part of the weekend?
Speaker 1:Man, I don't know All everything was good the whole. I mean it was Saturday for sure, but I mean we made breakfast, we went to the trampoline park. Another basketball court at the trampoline park was pretty cool. That's a new thing since I've been there. Yeah, it was good. Five guys, man, I don't know, it's between like the basketball court, maybe like the ginormous bag of french fries.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean mine was just spending time with the kids, but also Maya, Like. I feel like we talked about this a couple weeks ago, but when we got licensed she was 18 months old and now she's three and I don't want to say we missed all of that. We didn't. We had a lot of good moments and a lot of family time over the last year and a half, but it was just different.
Speaker 2:It was different and getting to give her so much undivided attention this weekend and hear her talk and just like looking her eyes for more than 15 minutes at a time for like hours. Honestly you could tell her cup was so full.
Speaker 1:When was the last time that she had like both of our attention at the same time? Because Carter and Liberty, just like they hung out with us when they'd run off and do the run thing for a little bit and then it was just like you and me with Maya.
Speaker 2:I mean, did you hear her crying this morning when you were in bed bawling her eyes out? No, you want to know why.
Speaker 1:Because her birthday was over.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she woke up and all her birthday decorations were down and she said I want my birthday back. Oh my gosh she was screaming, so that's how you know it was a good birthday.
Speaker 1:When you left earlier, we were sitting at the table and she was like I wish my birthday had come back. And I was like, well, we're gonna have to wait till next year.
Speaker 2:And she's like her birthday is still Tuesday.
Speaker 1:I know. And then she was like, well, I wish it was Christmas would come back. I was like, well, you're gonna have to wait till the end for that one. Yeah, oh, she's so sweet.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was just. It was really nice. It was a good weekend and today was good too. Where. So we got the babies back last night and then this morning. Their mom works on Sundays, so we are going to be babysitting for her on Sunday. So we had eight kids. Yeah, and that was a great day too, just a completely different type of great, just chaotic and full and take two vehicles again.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but it was still great. It was a great weekend, and so today we're talking about reconnecting, which is something that we are I don't know if I want to say like working on or, but being intentional about. I think that the biggest thing is that we should all acknowledge that, like, we all just go through different seasons of life and sometimes some seasons were more connected than others, and that's okay, yeah.
Speaker 1:And I was thinking about this too. I don't think that we were like it wasn't like we were just completely disconnected from our kids.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:But with the little ones leaving, it has kind of made us, it's made it more well I think made us more aware.
Speaker 2:Aware, and I think also part of it is there's a lot of sadness that comes with the kids leaving. So we're trying to cling to some hope and so that hope has been. You almost have to kind of trick your mind a little bit and be like, well, on the bright side, we get to spend like so much intentional time with just our three kids. Yeah, and so it can probably be confusing to those of you who are listening and you're like wait a minute.
Speaker 2:like you guys talk about how this foster care journey you would never you would do it all over again and how it was totally worth it. And we even have done episodes about like making sure we don't lose our biological kids in the midst of foster care, and that's all true.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But. But I mean we would be lying if we said that seven kids didn't take away a little bit of attention off of each kid.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I mean it's math, yeah, it's math. I mean there's two of us and there were seven of them.
Speaker 2:Right, you know. So it's just about thinking okay, how can we make the best out of this situation?
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that we can apply some of the energy that the other ones had over to our biological kids.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's like if these seven kids would have stayed forever. We would make the best out of that situation, but our family would be completely, completely different than it's about to look with the five of us. And so it's just either one would have been beautiful and great and we would have been happy and and all of those things, but it's just too completely different dynamics.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it's, and it's honestly it's timing out, you know not. It didn't set out to time it this way, but basketball season is over.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And our kids aren't haven't played. Last year they didn't play a spring sport and this year they're not playing a spring sport. So so not only is it the attention from from our foster kiddos, but also attention from sports.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and we have just picked up a lot of responsibilities over the last year and a half. We're always crazy busy. That's just how we are, how we operate and so, yeah, I think that all of that's great and everybody has different capacities and ours are kind of high and that's just what we enjoy and our kids enjoy that busy life. But I think, no matter where you are and what your capacity is, there's, like I was saying, some seasons are better than others, and so what I? The first thing I want to say when it comes to intentionality as a family and being connected as a family, I think it's good to always audit, just kind of be real about, be real and honest about where you are and kind of do a little bit of an audit like how? I don't even know that I have solid questions, but maybe we could just talk about this like how would we audit our connectedness as a family? Like, right now, we both know that we have some reconnecting to do with our kids.
Speaker 2:And I'll give you an example. It really hit me a couple of weeks ago I was driving with Liberty, I forget I think it was a weekend and I was like you know what I'm? Just I haven't we do our best to do like occasional one-on-one time with the kids. We'll drive to the store, I'll take one and just have conversation. And I had just been a lot with like just the shifting of things. And so I was like I'm just going to take her to get our nails done together. And like we drove there and I was like total silence and a little bit awkward, and like we went and got our nails done Same thing. And we drove home Same thing. And I was like man, this is like normally, this is like where I thrive is connecting with the kids.
Speaker 2:And honestly I'm shocked that our talker girl didn't talk, and so it made me a little bit sad, but it also made me realize we're just, we're all exhausted first of all, and we also haven't just had that like intentional time to connect. So for me I was like, okay, that is me, that is like a red flag right there. That's just one example, but there might not be some like one thing like that. So what would you say about gauging your connectedness as a family?
Speaker 1:Well, my moment was when Maya called me Uncle Corey. No, she didn't. That was good, that was really good. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2:I'm dying. I need to not laugh in the microphone. I'm so sorry. That's hilarious.
Speaker 1:No, that did not happen. But I will say, because I was thinking about this too, like even in the midst of having all seven kids and in the midst of a busy basketball season, like we were intentional then they may have not have been getting as much quantity time in the individually, but we tried to give them some like at least some small doses of quality time.
Speaker 1:And so even one of the things that I did during basketball season was, especially when it was just me coaching Carter's teams is Liberty and Big S or I don't know what we're calling them S would come to practice. They went to almost every practice with me and so they were getting to spend some time with me there, being around basketball, being with each other, being with Carter and even when we could bring you know, like Maya or some of the other basketball games, like making sure that, like me, I'm coaching and I'm running around all this stuff, like that I was trying to spend some time with them. And in the evening times when I get home from work, just any little bit of time, like trying to spend time with some of the kids that I felt like maybe I wasn't spending as much time with. And I think that goes into the audit is like, honestly, as you're auditing anything in your life, like you should really be doing a self reflection at the end of the day, like how the day went and like crap every night.
Speaker 2:I'll do better tomorrow. That's what I've been saying for about seven months?
Speaker 1:I didn't there was. There's lots of things where people talk about like writing down your day and what you did that day and like you can actually do like a time audit and see how much time you spent on things throughout the day, just like almost like journaling it. I don't do anything like that, but we don't do any of that.
Speaker 1:I know I can't read or write, but I often do. I don't know we've ever even talked about this, but I often do like reflect back on my day. I'm very reflective. I've always been that way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, anytime.
Speaker 1:I'm doing something, and you know, and I'm finished with it. I usually look back like how could I've done that better? You know how did that go.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're healthily reflective, I'm logical about it.
Speaker 1:I'm not like freaking out like you're like, oh my gosh, I was terrible.
Speaker 2:I bummed. Don't talk about it again.
Speaker 1:I had a coffee stain on my white shirt.
Speaker 1:Yeah but so, anyways, I think that's a simple and easy way, like at the end of the day, at the end of the night, you're getting ready for bed as soon as you get in bed. I Just think about like each one of your kids and did you spend time with them that day? Did you talk to them? Do you have any meaningful Conversation? Did you even just play, like just sit with them for five minutes or ten minutes? Did you play a game with them? Like any of those things, and then be like? You know, I really you may realize I Didn't spend any time with this kid today, or I spent five minutes with them. We were just. I did spend 30 minutes with them, but we were just watching a show.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I love that and I I think that that's great and I think for us we realize the connection is needed when we're running in autopilot a lot, where it's just like Getting through the day, we're trucking along, we're pushing through it and there's not a ton of Intentionality in it, where and sometimes there's just seasons like that sometimes that's just where life is like we're just coming off a basketball season.
Speaker 2:That's a lot of what basketball season Usually is, because it's just a lot of evenings and hurry up and eat dinner and then get off and go to practice, and that's okay, and Especially when you put seven kids in that and and it's just a lot more and that's okay too. But I think it's important to recognize like, yes, this is okay for a season, and then after this we're gonna make sure that we don't add on any other commitments and then we're gonna regroup. So if you really just kind of have to gauge, like we just get it's hard to say like you just kind of get gut feeling Sometimes- like we're getting disconnected as a family and then some like practical Signs that we start to notice is when you know we start.
Speaker 2:I don't I hate the word burnout, but it is kind of like you're starting to feel that burnout where you Were in front of screens more we start to watch TV more than having conversation at night, and I'm not bashing any of these things. This is all needed with in healthy amounts, but or like rather than Sitting down and having dinner as a family.
Speaker 1:That's what I was gonna say we're just.
Speaker 1:Feeding our kids and we're like eating quickly and like go off. And for me, one of that hit me a few months ago actually, yeah, and it was stupid, kind of stupid. But we have an island with with three stools at it and I was, I was feeding all of the kids and I was sitting sitting them down. And then I look over and we got three sitting on a stool and like one or two standing at the edge of the island Because there's nowhere else to sit or they're coming to grab in an office chair to do it. And then I'm standing at the counter and we're all like just scarfing. It's like wait a minute, we don't, we're not in a hurry to Go anywhere, like we have a this dining room table that we spent money on, right, you know, let's go sit in there.
Speaker 1:So I told everyone, like grab your stuff, we're going in here, and so even stuff like that is when we've had time, when we're not eating. And then to get to the next thing Is like just go into the. It doesn't have to be some big, you know presentation or anything Like most of the time it's paper plates. We're drinking out of our war yeti water bottles and we're, you know, just just in a mismatched forks. All those things. Yeah but just sitting there and looking each other in the eye without anything distracting.
Speaker 2:Trying to ask about how the days are going, things like that. Yeah, so that. And then like Our kids being in front of screens a lot. That's another one where almost Our kids, you know they have their games and stuff and they'll play. But then when we're in those busy seasons that we can have the tendency to like need to decompress it, and then we're like, okay, yeah, go, go, do that for whatever amount of time, like and again, none of those things are like terrible and they're tools and they can be beneficial and they can help you and your spouse to have connecting time.
Speaker 1:But when you're relying on it all the time, that it's when it becomes a problem. And when it's you know, changing behaviors and your kids, that's when it also can become a problem too.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So I would just say paying attention to like how I mean, how connected are we truly within our house? Are we all on separate devices each night? Are we having good conversations? Do I even know what's going on in my kids day and do I know what's going on in my spouse's day? Just trying to, you know, have more conversation. So that's kind of when we're at right now with it. Is there anything else you want to add? Before going on to the like scripture portion of it, I feel like I had more practical stuff.
Speaker 1:I was just gonna do this before we record.
Speaker 1:I was gonna say just some practical things that we have, you know, tried to do. To spend time with our kids is, you know, one like I said with with basketball practice, bringing them along to think to other things that you know. Maybe it isn't their event or their thing, but if you can take your, your Kids or some of them with you along for those things, do that. It's good for them to to be around you to see those things and to not be sitting at home in front of a TV or whatever.
Speaker 2:Yeah, same thing. With household chores like today, especially the crazy seasons, it's easy to just be like all right, gotta get this done, gotta get this done, gotta get this done. But today, like we had that time as a family and so Liberty and I went and we cleaned her room together, and so even stuff like that, where it's things where you have to get it done, ask your kids to do it along with you. Might take a little bit longer, might not be as relaxing for you, but it is. It's good time to connect and you're teaching them life skills as you're doing that 100%, yeah, and I I'm.
Speaker 1:I can be bad at that because we're always running from thing to thing and it can be challenging sometimes to Include like it, like when it's nice out, like include Carter and doing projects and things like that. I mean, especially when we're just trying to get stuff done.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but it's doing them a disservice if you don't right which you aren't. You're really good at getting things done. You aren't the best at like including the kids on it. I know you're working harder.
Speaker 1:Yeah, definitely try but and then you know some other things that we've done is having the dinner when we can.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so turning off the radio in the car and having just having a conversation With them about their day, especially if you only have one of them in the car with you. And then one thing that we Really enjoy doing is playing games together, so we'll all sit at the dining room table when it doesn't. You don't have to get out, you know Monopoly or anything crazy, but just we have a bunch of like random games.
Speaker 2:But before we do on the dinner thing, I'd saw this on Instagram. I know everybody's like doing this, Don't make fun of me but like I did see this idea and I was like you know what, this is really good. It's something that would make me like the idea of this is what I know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the idea of putting all the food out on the table for me, the cleanup part, I'm like it's just so much more work to do all of this production but it is so good. But I know, like for me, what something that would get me to look forward to that because I think it would be Q is lighting a candle on the table. So we did start doing that. We've probably been eating dinner three nights a week and I have lit the candle like twice and then now, if I don't do it, the kids are like oh, where's the candle? Why don't we like the candle? Especially my? She's like what, we have to have the candle, and so I don't know, I just feel like it's been fun and it's been like we dim the lights a little bit. Sometimes it's still light out, so it doesn't make a huge difference.
Speaker 1:But I can't see my food Guys. I just I can't see.
Speaker 2:But it's been nice and fun, so, yeah, so the games the game some of the card games. Yeah, so Cory came from a family that, like, played games all the time and my family we had games and we did play games occasionally, but like we were I don't know we were like outside a lot. We didn't watch TV Like I don't. We did weird stuff like we would make movies with my dad and yeah.
Speaker 1:We did like weird we were poor, we couldn't afford a video camera, but they weren't on your phones.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we would go do like whirleyball and I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 1:But yeah, so the game, I didn't know you guys, I wasn't rich enough to have a whole production company in my house.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we were rich, you. My dad's shoe, the evil shoe, was one of our movies.
Speaker 1:My dad's friend would come over and he was the director of our shows. You know Steven Spielberg.
Speaker 2:No, we no, definitely not the evil shoe. We had a old, dirty, stinky tennis. You have my dad, yeah, okay. So games have been fun and, I'll be honest, like most, 95% of time we're like, no, I'm not bad at games, unless they'd have a lot of instructions, and then my eyes start crossing. But 95% of the time, when we're like, oh yeah, let's go do games, I'm like I don't really want to then you like it.
Speaker 2:I love it. I love it. It's so fun and I'm so glad we did it. So some of our games they're easy like and they're easy to store. I don't like those big clunky things to take up a lot of storage. Most of these I have in a drawer in our kitchen, so it's like easy access. We don't have to look for it, we don't have to go digging for it, go down the basement for it. It's right there and you can do it for five minutes.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm, so what game am I? I?
Speaker 2:Can't remember, and this is my favorite one. It's taco cat, taco cat goat cheese pizza.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:I found this on Amazon for Christmas. You guys should get it. It's really fun. It doesn't look like it would be a fun game. The box doesn't look like what the game is.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the box is like. Looks like somebody just threw up some words on here and try to sell a game.
Speaker 2:It's a really fun game. You can, I would say, five and up If you have a pretty smart four-year-old. Four and up I Maybe. Yeah, it depends on Taco, cat, goat cheese pizza, smartness of your fragile. What's another one?
Speaker 1:Okay, hold on. Ratatak, cat, yeah, how'd you know, I just went like this.
Speaker 2:And then Uno is a fan fave. I always used to keep that in my purse for when we would go to restaurants and stuff Spoons and that's another thing, Like when you're at restaurants and if you keep a deck of cards in your purse or in your diaper bag, play games Instead of like getting out your phone. Just little things like that.
Speaker 1:Spoons.
Speaker 2:Spoons yeah, Spoons is a fun one. We got that for Christmas from our sister mom.
Speaker 1:This one's a little more than some cards, but Bilzi.
Speaker 2:Ooh, Bilzi's a good one.
Speaker 1:What's that? One that we do, this one's kind of extensive, but the one with the metal thing.
Speaker 2:I don't know what that one is called, but it is a fun one too. It's a little bit harder, so it would say probably like eight and up.
Speaker 1:You're only whipping this bad boy out in the restaurant, but there's like these metal bars.
Speaker 2:It's kind of like Jenga, but with metal bars.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you gotta stack them on top of each other, and then, if they all fall off, you lose.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm sure if you just Google Jenga with metal bars, it'll come up. I don't know, okay, so yeah, it's just fun Like play some games, any other things that we can do to be intentional. There's a whole point to this, like we're gonna share scripture and stuff, so hang in there with us guys. I would just say, well, yeah, any practical stuff. I don't wanna get ahead of myself.
Speaker 1:Get on the floor with your kids. That is one thing. Not only I've seen so much stuff on just the development for kids of parents getting on the floor and wrestling around with them, but it's easy, it's easy, but that one is one that you're good at.
Speaker 2:That I am not.
Speaker 1:It's just so hard for me it's probably because I'm a guy it just feels unproductive but I know it's so important.
Speaker 2:Yeah and yeah, and like it made me really sad to think about this.
Speaker 1:I know the other one for younger kids, the magnet tiles.
Speaker 2:Oh man, we are late to this game, but we got magnet tiles for Christmas this year. Our kids will play with them.
Speaker 1:Dude, I play with them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for hours, hours.
Speaker 1:But the cool thing is like you can build really cool stuff with it, but like it's a really easy cleanup.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, okay. So why, in regard to the podcast, in regard to a force to be reckoned with, in regard to families, why does this even matter? Like, why does being connected with families, with our families or with our spouses, why does it even matter, in the grand scheme of things, like, why are we even talking about it? Like to your core you know it's important to be connected.
Speaker 1:Yeah, are you asking me or are you asking them?
Speaker 2:I mean I have bullet points, but go ahead.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean I was just gonna say and I know you have your bullet points but like the family is the building block of society and it starts with you as an individual and like your relationship with Jesus and you being the best person that you can be, and then it expands out to your immediate family, your kids. It starts with you, then the family, then your community and it just expands from there. But the family is so foundational, which is why culture and a lot of the things, the power to be, are trying to tear apart the family, because of how powerful it is and how foundational the family is.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, family is so important and we see right now, especially in America, in the world as a whole, families are under attack and America families are under attack and it's our job to fight and make our family stronger than ever before. And I really believe that that can happen, like I really believe that our generation can be the ones to turn it around, and not that our parents screwed it up or anything like that, but just that we. I can feel the shift in women and I hear it like among my friends too where we're like starting to pick up things that we didn't use. That wasn't a thing, you know, 15, 20, it was a thing, but not as popular like gardening and like wanting to make bread and bake at home and have dinners with your family to be home with the kids Really like a throwback.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and like I can hear women my age who are like, when I am a grandparent, like I'm gonna be a grandparent, and you just feel the shift back to like focusing on the family.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I mean that's all biblical and that's just because that's the way God wired us and God made us the family. What did you say? It's the foundation.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's the foundation of society.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and God made us to be connected. We're beings who were designed to be connected and so first, we want to connect with a power higher than anything in this world, and that's God. But then, second, it's our family, our spouse and our children and our extended family. I mean, that's just the way that God designed us and so if we are not intentional about that connection, and especially with our spouses and with our kids, we're they're gonna connect with other. I mean, naturally, they're going to need to find connection, so they're gonna connect with other people.
Speaker 2:So, just practically, if you think about that, like at night, you know, if you're not connecting with your spouse, having conversation or finding a ways to truly connect what do you guys do? You pick up your phones and you connect elsewhere. You connect through watching reels on Instagram. If you're not connecting and playing games with your kids, what are they doing? They're gonna go down in their basement, in the basement and connect by playing video games with their friends. And again, that's not a terrible thing, but we have to make sure that we are teaching them a healthy connection and teaching them and giving them that firm foundation.
Speaker 1:And with that like, if you think about it, how many of us like, look at our parents and we'll say, oh, my parents did this. I want you know, that was so good. I want to mimic exactly what my parents did here and then, and sometimes there's things where you're like, oh, my parents did this, I will never do that. And you know, when we were talking earlier, it's like, with everything that we have going on, you know we're we are trying to live a life that lives out God's calling on our life and with that, we have foster care we're doing I was coaching basketball, we have a business, we have this podcast, we have work, we have all of the things and we tend to really fill our lives. And if we are doing all of these mission things for God, right.
Speaker 2:Without the connection.
Speaker 1:Without the connection to our kids, my fear would be that our kids would grow up and look back and say, oh, I'm not going to do all these good things that my parents did because that took them away from me.
Speaker 2:They didn't have a way behind it.
Speaker 1:yeah, Well, that took them away from me and they weren't connected with me. It took them away from their family, you know.
Speaker 2:So, having that connection with our kids, we yeah, so Proverbs 226, train up a child on the way they should go, and what is that? And when he is old, he will not depart from it. That is tying into exactly what you're saying. We can do, do, do, do, do all these things. But if we're not, you said do do we're not teaching them the why behind it? It's all in vain, like it doesn't the acts alone are not enough.
Speaker 1:And if we're neglecting them, if we don't have enough time and energy for them, we expended it everywhere else. They're going to hold that against us. So bring them along with you in your mission, right, it's really yeah, if you still have that connection with them, then what did you leave on the table Right? You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I mean think about a relationship where it's just gone through the motions and there was no connection there. I mean you likely didn't stay.
Speaker 1:Right. And then you start looking at why weren't we connected? Oh well, they were doing all these things, and they were supposedly doing it for Jesus.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so yeah, I think point one is we were designed to be connected beings and so we need to be sure that we are. Especially is our responsibility as parents to be sure that we're connecting with our children first, to train them up in the way that they should go, and give them the heart behind all of why we're doing what we're doing. So another really important reason that I think that connecting is so important and this goes for family and friendships. I mean, all of this goes for family and friendships. I think that goes without saying.
Speaker 2:But Galatians six two says carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. So just talking about walking through hard things and you know life is gonna be full of hard things and trials and our kids are gonna walk through hard things and trials, troubles at school, while we're walking through with foster care, it's all I mean there's a lot of different complexities that we're gonna go through and but when we create a space for connection and we create this hub where we get to walk through burdens together, to walk with each other down hard roads, we're creating a space for them to be able to share what they're going through with us, because if they don't share it with us, they're probably gonna share it with somebody else, right?
Speaker 1:And it creates this synergy within our family, like, hey, we've got each other's backs right when we can share and, as parents, they can share what they're going through with us and we can walk through those things together and guide them, which is what we're supposed to be doing anyways. But if we don't create this place, you know like even when you're in the car with liberty and everything was quiet, there may be times where they don't have anything to share. They don't really feel like sharing in that moment. But if you continuously create these environments to connect, they're gonna feel more comfortable and it creates the opportunity for them to share when they're ready and want to.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm. Yeah, and the third point. Just going to the third point, I think the bottom line of all of this is that we are raising the next generation. So I know that you had scripture that you wanted to share.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so it's Psalm 127, three through five, and it's behold, children are a heritage from the Lord. The fruit of the womb, a reward, like arrows in the hand of a warrior, are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them. He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate. And so, in this, just a couple of points.
Speaker 1:It says that children are a heritage from the Lord, that there are a reward, and they compare them to a warrior, a mighty warrior's arrows and I was watching this clip of this pastor and he was talking about the quiver is the thing on the back of the warrior that holds the arrows. And so, as parents, some of the time, for part of their life, we're going to carry them on our backs, right, and really protect them, and things like that. And then the second part was okay, now it's a season of let's pull the arrow out and put it in the bow and pull it back. And he said that when you pull it back, you're putting stress on the arrow, and this is the time of preparation, where you're preparing them to be sent off into the world. And then the last part is releasing them and letting them go off into the world.
Speaker 2:So I love that. I think that's really a cool analogy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I never thought of it that way until he said that and I was like that, you know it just, it really makes sense, but it's just about being good stewards of our kids.
Speaker 2:We have these different and good stewards of our time with our kids, and I think that goes back to what we just said. You know, maya was 18 months old when we started this journey and here we are and she's three and Carter's gonna be 12 this year and it just it goes by so fast and it's such a privilege for us to be able to first of all be a family and have a family. It's something so many people want and we have this awesome privilege, this awesome hard, hard privilege of like raising a family, and so we need to be sure that we're using the time wisely. And sorry, was I go ahead? What did you have? Something else you wanted to say?
Speaker 1:I was just gonna say, like the reality is. I mean, you see all this stuff with all these charts and all this math and everything you know online, but it's, you know we're not gonna get this time back, you know. But it doesn't mean that there's no hope and that you know, if you, if your kids older, and you haven't been as intentional about that quality time with them, that you know all is lost. You know what's that? Proverbs One is the best time to Planted tree that really proverbs.
Speaker 2:No, no, no not, not from the book of Proverbs.
Speaker 1:I don't know. It could be, I don't know. I actually don't know where it came from. I thought it was like a Chinese proverb but yeah says when's the Best time to play in a tree. 20 years ago. It was the second best time right now, yeah, right. So even if you you haven't done that, you can start today or tomorrow, you know, depending on what time you're listening to this.
Speaker 2:But yeah, and I think what I want to say with it is I mean, if you go back to the beginning of episode, it's we, it's almost like we should have led with the scripture, because when you're talking about, you know, watching maybe a little bit too much TV, or Letting you know what, looking at your cell phones while you're sitting at dinner, out at a restaurant or I don't know what else, did we say? Ways that we're not connecting, just all those little ways. It just seems so trivial and not important.
Speaker 2:Yeah but when you look at it from a biblical view of like, wow, we've been gifted with this time and we've been gifted with these kids and we've been gifted with this marriage.
Speaker 2:It just makes it shifts your perspective to be like we really need to be so connected. We were created for being connected. So why would I waste that scrolling mindlessly through social media with Watching videos of strangers, when I have my spouse right in front of me and we could be having conversation and talking about, like deep, important things or just talking about our days, you know?
Speaker 2:right it's because, Again, the whole point of this Podcast is that we are at war and we need to be building ourselves up on a biblical foundation so that we can go out into the world and win this war and win this battle and and not get caught up in the ways of the world and the schemes of the enemy right and Like.
Speaker 1:How many times have you heard where somebody says I just don't even know if I could have kids in this day and age, in this?
Speaker 2:Well, it's like it makes me so mad. Yeah, makes me so mad. Well and somebody actually, when I was in the hospital with my, oh, with Liberty. Yeah, I had just had Liberty, and they were like don't you too is good, and you have your boy, and you have your girl Too is good, and the world is just so bad right now. You don't want to have any more kids in this world, and I I mean, that was eight years ago and I still think about it.
Speaker 1:I'm just like and I I'm pretty sure that every generation People have said that right, like this is the word. What about World War two? Oh, this is the worst time. Like what about when the Israelites were in slavery? Like all this is the worst time. Don't have kids, like I'm sure people said that all the time.
Speaker 2:But I mean, don't get us wrong, it's bad yeah but what is the?
Speaker 1:the greatest Pushback, the greatest take back would be to have kids, and I think that's the other part of this, of the warrior and the arrows. Like how do you, if you and not if you live out a Relationship with Jesus, that your kids see a real relationship, you live out the purpose that God created you for. They see you following Jesus and then they see you having Good, meaningful relationships with your spouse, with them, when your friendships in your community they see these things on display and not that you're gonna be perfect because you won't be you're gonna mess up and they're gonna see you.
Speaker 1:Okay to be imperfect right, but yeah, so they're gonna see all of that yeah and then your You're you're not just if you have more than one kid, you're not just duplicating yourself, you're multiplying, you're a multiplier and you're sending these arrows out as weapons Out into the world to attack the darkness. Right, yeah, with light, yeah. And so you know that, to me, every when I, when I had read that that verse in years past that's what it reminded me of is like I, my kids are like weapons. I'm preparing them, I'm sharpening them and making sure they're gonna be the best weapons for God equipping them and Sending them out into the world to fight back against this.
Speaker 1:so for me it's like, yeah, okay, the world's bad. What are we gonna do about it? We're gonna have really good kids, yeah are you sure you only want three? Are you putting me on the spot? I?
Speaker 2:mean, you just gave a pretty good spiel and cue the outro. Yeah, I Was sure. I was sure until about two days ago, when my baby turn, when we celebrated my birth babies for third birthday, and now I'm not so sure, and for the past two months she's been trying to get me to get a vasectomy everybody a vasectomy.
Speaker 1:I'm just like oh, wait a minute, are you sure you don't have another baby? If I would have listened to you I'm not saying that we are gonna have another kid, but if I would have listened to you and gotten the vasectomy for a March Madness coming up like everybody does.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:That would be it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and there's might be a reason that you do that, just kidding.
Speaker 1:Can we end with what you did to me yesterday?
Speaker 2:I mean I brought down a positive pregnancy test from him.
Speaker 1:Why you just jump right to it. Yeah, she walks in like, hey, I Don't, can you read this? I don't think. No, this is coming through right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was like this can't be right and I'm looking at it.
Speaker 1:I'm like that even possible this like I just like froze. I'm like is this real?
Speaker 2:you know, you said that like how I did. I was like how's that possible? How's that even possible?
Speaker 1:This is the physics on this? Aren't adding up. Okay, babe, that's enough the physics, the chemistry, the bio biology is not adding up here people.
Speaker 2:You want to make that clear one more time. It's not adding up not yeah, I don't know where it came from and then you flipped it over it had hand rating on the back.
Speaker 1:And it's in.
Speaker 2:Hannah, and so I'm wondering if it was the people who lived here before there's. I don't know.
Speaker 1:It fell out, it not closet right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I mean I Could I get go through our closet all the time and I don't even get rid of stuff. So I would be shocked if it was up there and I never have seen it in two years.
Speaker 1:So I don't even know anybody named Hannah. Mm-hmm, wink, wink, just kidding.
Speaker 2:Could be our baby on the way anyway. Well, we hope that this has encouraged you guys to just find a little how do you pronounce Hannah?
Speaker 1:spelled backwards.
Speaker 2:Hannah, we, unless it doesn't have an H at the end, then it's Anna. But anyway, we just hope that you guys have Been encouraged in some way to find some connection with your family, with your spouse, with your kids. It's important. It's important and if you're feeling like you are in a season where you're feeling disconnected, I just would encourage you to sit down and Maybe jot down a couple ways this week, and they don't have to be big, they can be little. It could just be Simply sitting instead of standing to eat dinner and asking a couple questions, or going for a car ride and Turning off the radio, something little like that. You got to start somewhere, but it's really. It's a lot less trivial than it sounds.
Speaker 1:So yeah, for sure. You know, I thought you did a really good job on this podcast. I'm gonna give you a, hannah oh dumb.
Speaker 2:All right, we love you guys. We hope you have a good week and we'll catch you next week.