How has foster care affected our kids and our family as a whole?
Join us as we sit down with our kids, Carter and Liberty, as they open up about the rollercoaster of emotions and the surprising ways in which fostering has reshaped our lives. This isn't just about the love we share; it's a raw and authentic look into the real-life effects of opening our hearts and our home to children in need.
Our journey through fostering is one that interweaves laughter with tears, teaching us about strength, empathy, and the profound impact we can have on each other's lives. From the initial excitement of becoming a foster family to the difficult goodbyes and the lessons in between, we peel back the layers of our experience. Listen to personal stories that reveal the challenges and rewards from the varied perspectives within our own family, offering insights that may resonate with anyone considering this life-changing path.
As we wrap up our candid conversation, we reflect on the growth and gratitude that fostering has instilled in all of us. It's about more than just our story—it's an invitation to recognize the transformative power of love and care in the foster care journey. We share experiences that have not only changed the trajectory of our lives but also the lives of the children we've been privileged to foster. This episode is an open book to our hearts and an exploration of the undeniable impact foster care has on individuals and communities alike.
Episode Highlights:
Links Mentioned in Episode/Find More on A Force to Be Reckoned With:
This show has been produced by Adkins Media Co.
How has foster care affected our kids and our family as a whole?
Join us as we sit down with our kids, Carter and Liberty, as they open up about the rollercoaster of emotions and the surprising ways in which fostering has reshaped our lives. This isn't just about the love we share; it's a raw and authentic look into the real-life effects of opening our hearts and our home to children in need.
Our journey through fostering is one that interweaves laughter with tears, teaching us about strength, empathy, and the profound impact we can have on each other's lives. From the initial excitement of becoming a foster family to the difficult goodbyes and the lessons in between, we peel back the layers of our experience. Listen to personal stories that reveal the challenges and rewards from the varied perspectives within our own family, offering insights that may resonate with anyone considering this life-changing path.
As we wrap up our candid conversation, we reflect on the growth and gratitude that fostering has instilled in all of us. It's about more than just our story—it's an invitation to recognize the transformative power of love and care in the foster care journey. We share experiences that have not only changed the trajectory of our lives but also the lives of the children we've been privileged to foster. This episode is an open book to our hearts and an exploration of the undeniable impact foster care has on individuals and communities alike.
Episode Highlights:
Links Mentioned in Episode/Find More on A Force to Be Reckoned With:
This show has been produced by Adkins Media Co.
We are at war and it's not against our neighbors, spouses, children, politicians or whatever else we feel like we're battling against.
Speaker 2:So the questions are who's the fight against, and are we winning or losing? We're the Adkins, and we are a force to be reckoned with.
Speaker 3:Are you ready to?
Speaker 2:join the force.
Speaker 1:Welcome back everyone, I don't know why it is, but every time we start a podcast I want to say we're coming at you live on Saturday night.
Speaker 2:We're not live, but it is Saturday.
Speaker 1:It's not night.
Speaker 2:We are just gonna go right to it and introduce our special guest today. Do you want to say your name? We have two very, very special people with us.
Speaker 3:Got to Adkins who.
Speaker 1:Excuse me.
Speaker 3:Got to.
Speaker 1:Are you from Jersey? Are you from Jersey?
Speaker 2:We have Carter Adkins.
Speaker 1:Who else do we have Get up to the mic.
Speaker 3:I don't know.
Speaker 2:Oh, come on Liberty.
Speaker 1:We have Liberty Adkins, who apparently has the giggles.
Speaker 2:Oh, boy, we're gonna see how this goes. So we have had you guys on before, but it's been two years. Yeah, yeah, family pledge. It might have been. It's probably been longer than two years, but we did a family pledge episode. We did like an interview with you guys. It's been a while. I will link both of them in the show notes so the other people can hear how much older you guys are. I can't even believe it. Okay, so go ahead. Actually, you told us your name, carter Adkins. How old are you?
Speaker 3:Eleven.
Speaker 2:Okay, liberty, get close to the mic. How old are you? Eight and a half.
Speaker 1:She had to throw the half in there.
Speaker 2:So Carter and Liberty are our two oldest out of our three biological kids and we're so excited to have you today.
Speaker 3:Are you gonna be here, groupie?
Speaker 1:Yeah we will Thanks for having me. Mom and dad. It's so exciting to be here.
Speaker 2:We did ask them permission. Right, like you guys are good, you're not being forced, you're not chained down to cheer, I would not say that yeah.
Speaker 1:Hey, if you don't fall in line, I'm gonna not gonna take those hand cuffs off of your ankles, okay.
Speaker 2:Okay, so today we are talking about our foster care journey, but we want to hear your perspectives, carter and Liberty. So we want to hear like your viewpoint on it. So we talk a lot about family on this show. Do you guys know what our podcast is about In your best description? Okay, say it closer to the mic. Okay, what is that? What is the point of our podcast?
Speaker 3:Carter, I don't know I'm listening to the podcast anymore. What? Because last time I listened to the podcast you yelled at me because I got in trouble for something and then I used something you said on the podcast against you?
Speaker 2:What was it? Do you remember? I know I don't remember.
Speaker 3:Oh, I do remember. I heard on podcast 193 that you said you were sad because we were just not talking in the car when you took me an hour stand.
Speaker 2:Why weren't we talking that day? I don't remember Episode 193?. Wow, good memory, you remember the reference in everything. Yeah, Alright, you're right. That is true, carter. You did do that. You listened to our podcast and then the next day I was yelling at you about something, and then you used what I said against you.
Speaker 1:You're smart guy Don't yell at your kids, be patient and kind.
Speaker 2:And then he's like and now you're yelling no, I'm just kidding, I don't think that's what it was, but okay. So we talk a lot about family on the show and a big piece of our family over the last couple years has been foster care and a lot of people in our lives and through the show and on Instagram have asked and wondered how you guys have been doing through all of the foster care stuff. Mostly because the people that know you love and care about you and they want to make sure that you guys are good. But some because they have their own kids and they might think about doing foster care, but as parents it's kind of like scary and they wonder what will this do to my kids. So we want to ask you guys some questions today. No wrong answer, like no answer, is the wrong answer. You can give your honest answers.
Speaker 1:Nobody's feelings will be hurt if your answer is wrong, we'll edit it out and make you answer again, but you don't have to worry about hurting our feelings, so we just want to know your honest thoughts okay, we are going to Florida tomorrow, that's.
Speaker 3:Hawaii. Okay, so you can't read the notes.
Speaker 2:I'm not reading the notes. Do you remember life and our family before foster care? Carter, you would have been 10.
Speaker 3:Liberty, you would have been six kind of in the like apartment yeah okay, yeah same.
Speaker 2:What was life like?
Speaker 3:not a lot of screens, for sure not a lot of men to end like whatever COVID and we're like like we have a lot more family time. We hung out more together, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah had a lot more family time than we do now yeah, like, like not as much as like we are getting to have more family time because now they're starting to leave, but like it's also, we used to have a lot of family time like I remember, like what would we do?
Speaker 3:I remember we would take the TV. We took the TV down and put Bible verses on the wall. We didn't have TV for 30 days.
Speaker 2:Yeah and we just no, absolutely not okay, so not up to a great start. No, I'm just kidding. So we had a lot of family time, a lot more family time than we do now. Mm-hmm okay, what did you think when we first told you that we were gonna?
Speaker 3:do you remember? I remember you came up to your like guys, we got our first call today well, I was surprised.
Speaker 2:Surprise, yeah, cuz we came home like I wasn't. That I wasn't you're talking about.
Speaker 3:I wasn't that surprise because you guys have been, like you guys were, had been talking about it for like a month or so, when you've been and you were like saying, like God has been telling you to do foster care, so like like I wasn't that surprised because I was hurt. I was hearing you guys talk about it a little bit from time to time when we say God has been telling us to do something.
Speaker 2:Do you know what that means?
Speaker 3:like you want to, because like this guy and say no, no.
Speaker 1:I think you just feel it no, yeah, mean by that liberty what you can.
Speaker 3:You said you kept getting signs like God was telling you, and kept pushing you like God is telling you to do something?
Speaker 2:what do you? If somebody's like what is? How do you hear? God telling you something like can you explain that like, when you, when you say, you feel it like, is it like? What do you mean?
Speaker 3:because I'm our friends I've time had been doing foster care right, like yeah, like all them, and you guys thought like maybe that was a sign like that, like you guys should do foster care, not just cuz you're, not just cuz your friends were doing it, but like that was one of the signs. And you guys just kept talking about it, actually with people who people were telling you like yeah, that would. Honestly, that's what you, that's what I remember.
Speaker 3:I want to hear liberties take on that one you said you were surprised yeah, when we got home, when my mommy was picking us up from school, I think, or she was dropping, this is after we got licensed and we got our first call and she was like Guess what god, first foster care kids. And I was like what I was like?
Speaker 1:oh my gosh.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I was excited but like confused at the same time.
Speaker 1:What were you confused about?
Speaker 3:What kids were we gonna get?
Speaker 2:What do you mean like?
Speaker 3:what kind of kids were we gonna get? What would they be like?
Speaker 2:Carter, what about you? Do you remember that day?
Speaker 3:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:We got licensed and two days later Like that was so fast, but we had been preparing for months, mm-hmm. So what do you remember about that day? Were you worried? Were you?
Speaker 3:scared. No, at first I thought you were like okay, guys, I have some news. I thought you're gonna say you were pregnant again. Oh, but then you said that we were. We got that. You guys got your first call for foster care.
Speaker 2:And what did that feel like? Do you remember?
Speaker 3:No, not really.
Speaker 2:Do you remember when we came home and she was? She was here.
Speaker 3:Whenever she was at home, I was like surprised because I could see how she like like Looked different and how she acted different than us, and I could tell that this was good, this was good for us and it was good for her, because we because she obviously did not have the best home life, so I feel like it would be it was better for her, and then she you know, grew on to us a little bit. Then a baby came like two days later, two babies and I used.
Speaker 1:So why was it good for you Cuz it's?
Speaker 3:like, because, like me, it's just been Amelie, brady and Maya and when she came we got like more experience with other kids. I'm like cuz, she cuz, all of our friends are not like as like as shy as she was, whereas like Like scared she looked. So it was good for us to like learn, like, if we do get, if we did get more kids From foster like for foster care, it was good for us to experience it first up a little Like, a little times.
Speaker 1:Yeah, gotcha so from what you guys? Know in your viewpoints, why is there a need for Foster, foster care, foster parents?
Speaker 3:To give to other kids homes and take care of them, to give kids some stuff that they don't have, because, like, if they're gonna be put in foster care, that means they didn't have a good home life, and if you, they didn't, if we didn't have foster care, they would just be still at their house, whether it's bad stuff happening or there's not getting any attention, whether getting neglected or like that's just not good for them, and then they're gonna grow up and just not have a regular live, a regular life. That's sad.
Speaker 2:Do you think that kids who are in foster care they're their parents don't love them? No, I don't think their parents don't love them.
Speaker 3:I Don't think their parents would really don't. I don't really think they don't. I really think they love them, but they don't and they don't want them to take care of it, like they don't want their kids to get taken from them. But they know that if they do they're gonna have a better like a life, until the parents can get better than what they already had.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like so many of the situations haven't been that they're not loved.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the parents are going through a hard time and they know that they can have a better home to grow up for a little while until they get better somewhere else.
Speaker 2:Definitely.
Speaker 1:So, liberty, do we need more foster families?
Speaker 3:We need more foster care like. Do we need more foster parents and families?
Speaker 1:Yes, Do you think? Do you think there's a lot of kids that?
Speaker 3:need a need a home that are in the foster care system.
Speaker 1:Yes, Carter, what do you think?
Speaker 3:I think we we do need more foster families because when, when foster families first you know, sign up to do this, they, they don't want it's they like want to start out with little kid, like little amounts of kids, so like maybe one or two kids and there's so many other kids.
Speaker 3:So if there's only like say, I know there's more, but if there's only ten Foster families and they all want to take like two or three kids and there's 50 Foster kids that need to be taken, that's only Like 30 kids out of the 50 kids that needs. So there's 20 more kids that need a home. But there's just living. They don't have they. They have a even. I'm not saying that they haven't even worse life than at their house, but they're not getting still what they need.
Speaker 1:So if I were to tell you that in our county that there are about 500 kids in the foster care system and there are like 120 families, how does that make you feel Sad?
Speaker 3:I mean, we definitely wouldn't need more, because I know we'd know mostly spent in those families wouldn't want to take a lot of it. They wouldn't want to take, you know, five kids, right? I have a question, like if they did take, they are all probably going to want like three kids, and you said there's a hundred and like fifty.
Speaker 1:There's 500 kids and 120 foster families.
Speaker 3:So that still leaves like 160 kids that still need a home, more, more Even. I have a question I still need a home, go ahead.
Speaker 2:What's your question?
Speaker 3:If a foster care kids don't like, don't have a foster care home, where do they stay? That's a good question.
Speaker 1:If they can't find a family in the county, they will go outside of the county and look in other parts of the state, and if there's nobody, that can give them a home outside of the or within the state, they will go into other states. Yeah, they get really, really far away from their parents.
Speaker 3:But what if the parents want them back?
Speaker 1:Most almost always the parents want their kids back. If they get better but they don't have anywhere for them to go, which is why we need more foster families.
Speaker 2:Mm, hmm, okay, so I'm curious. A lot of. I mean most of your friends by now know that our family does foster care. Has your friends given you a hard time?
Speaker 3:about. They've always asked me about the foster kids. They've always asked how they knew one of the foster boys that we had. Every time I friend saw them they would all run up to him and give him hugs and during our basketball games he would come in the huddle with us.
Speaker 2:You can say he's your brother, because that's real life. That's what he was.
Speaker 3:He was my brother and he would come in the huddle. They all loved him. They all loved all the foster care kids. They never made fun of them. They never gave me a hard time about it. They knew that it was not. It was a good thing to do?
Speaker 1:What about you?
Speaker 2:You can tell the truth Me? Oh, I know you are.
Speaker 3:Well, at first everybody was like who is that?
Speaker 1:Who is that Like is that your boyfriend?
Speaker 3:But after everybody knew who it was, they kept asking, just annoying me, and it kept getting annoying. But now everybody is questioning where is he? How is he doing?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so after. At first they were asking you who is this, who is this, who is this? And then, after a little bit of time, did they just stop doing that. Yeah, they end up really liking him too.
Speaker 3:huh yeah, and most of them are friends with him now and then he went home.
Speaker 2:So then it's like, well, yeah, where is he? And I think the cool thing about that is that so many people don't know what foster care is Like. Most kids don't know what that is, but through you you having friends in school and then us doing foster care all of the kids that you're friends with now have been exposed to foster care and what foster care is, and because of the way you guys treated the kids in our home, they knew the level of respect that those kids deserved and because you guys loved and respected them. The other kids which I'm so proud of, all your friends too, because they didn't have to do that. They could have been real stinkers about it, but they were all so sweet and so loving and so nice, and so it was just really cool to see it was.
Speaker 1:And I don't think we told you guys this, but just so you know, because of because we've done foster care and you guys being so good about it and your friends seeing it and everything. Right now we're in the middle of fundraising for Hope Bridge's benefit dinner and mommy and I had to put together a committee of people and, to Carter, of your basketball friends and teammates dads are on the committee, liberty, one of your opponents and basketballs, I'll tell you afterwards mom is on the committee and your best friend's mom is on the committee and two people that I work with are on the committee and none of them had anything to do with foster care Before this and and still don't other than they're. You know they're serving and it just they saw the impact and they were exposed to it and their kids were exposed to it through you guys and they now have a heart to help and give back and it's just really cool to see that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay. Next question Do what has it been like share the good and the bad, or the good or the bad having other kids living in our home? So we've had six kids in the last year and a half in our home at different times, five of them being siblings, one of them not. You guys have both had to share your rooms. Things have been rearranged. So what has that been like for you? Do you feel like, yeah, I just want to know what it's been like.
Speaker 3:They can be very good at times and they can be very annoying at times, like kind of just like your normal, your biological sisters like that.
Speaker 3:So like like they were always, they were never. They were never really trying to be rude or annoying. That was just their nature because they never had a good home, they never had a good life. It was just their nature and they sometimes they would shine be annoying, but most of the time they would be nice and they were sweet and they're good to play with. They were really fun and they can be annoying sometimes but it wasn't like all the time. They were just bugging and bugging and being annoying and picking and stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I wouldn't say they never had good lives because, like we said, we already talked about this and you guys know this too their parents loved them a lot, but they they were always different than you guys were raised and brought up differently and that doesn't mean that you guys have the perfect life either, but just different would you say that they were more fun and you had better experience, more than they were annoying.
Speaker 3:Okay, I okay, I want to ask. I'm gonna, we'll let you answer to that, but I want to ask Carter a question.
Speaker 1:We rearranged your room twice, all right, once to accommodate one, one little boy and then, next, building bunk beds, moving out your bed to put you your individual bed, to put you in a bunk bed and then moving a crib in your room. How did you feel about us Rearranging your room and you sharing a room with other kiddos?
Speaker 3:It made me Feels like upset at some times. It made me feel sad but like don't I matter between me that much, because then I knew Now they have a place to sleep and they have a bed and it's Better it's not it's not right. Yeah, it's not like it in the end of the world that my bed got moved out of my room. Now they have a bed to sleep and that's good. That's good and when it doesn't really affect me that much.
Speaker 1:I want to one other follow-up for you, carter, because this morning you came in a room and you were sad because the 18 month old home with his mom. And what did you? What did you say this morning? Do you remember? You were sad because he, so you missed him this morning.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I slept within this crib. On Friday night, I slept in this crib with him. Did you know that?
Speaker 1:no, I didn't know that I went upstairs. I went up after I like yeah and then.
Speaker 3:I like six in the morning. I went back in my bed because, On Thursday night. I did because I knew he was leaving on Friday so I slept with him. Then I got and I used I probably I was almost late to school because I played with them so much in the morning.
Speaker 2:Liberty. How about you with switching your room around, and how have you felt about it?
Speaker 1:That is true, we did upgrade your bed.
Speaker 3:It was just a normal, like brown bunk bed and remember we bought the triple. Now they have the triple yeah, yeah and oh, she's just in the bunk bed that we had an apartment.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So okay. So it seems like what you're saying with the bedroom and just having kids in our home and in your space in general is that there's good stuff and there's fun stuff, that there's also hard stuff and hard moments and it has come with sacrifice. If you could choose between yeah, you know what I just want to keep my room the way it is, keep my life easy how it was and those kids can find somewhere else to go, or, yeah, it stinks that I have to move my bedroom around and give up a little bit of space. But there, and it's gonna be hard sometimes, but they're gonna be here which would you choose?
Speaker 3:I can't, I wouldn't, I would choose. I can't. I wouldn't say it stinks, that I've to change my room, cuz I would definitely pick. I would not say they need to go find somewhere else. I'm gonna be, we need to be like Giving and we can't just know, like we can't just reject them, that's just not right. That's like messed up. It's not fair to them. Yeah, it's not fair.
Speaker 2:I'm like why is it our?
Speaker 3:responsibility.
Speaker 2:Why do why? Why should we? Why do we have to be the ones to do it? Why isn't our responsibility, cuz?
Speaker 3:you never know there. You never know if there's gonna be another family that's gonna take them. What if there's not gonna be another family that wants to take them? You know, like you should, you should there's, you should want to say yes, you shouldn't even be thinking, you shouldn't even really think about it.
Speaker 2:It should be your. What makes you want to say yes when you think about the situation? I know it's a hard question. Wait, what's the question? What makes you want to say yes to the heart, to having kids in our home, even when it's hard, instead of just being like, and nah, it's easier and I get more time with my parents if they don't come, because then you have like more Kids to like play with and then they, they have the like experience of playing with other kids and you can like.
Speaker 3:Let me think, how do you go? Because? And they deserve they. They didn't do anything wrong. They deserve to have a good home life. They didn't Do anything to anybody. They should. They deserve to have a good home life and not saying they didn't have a good home life before. But I think it would be. If I were to have an option.
Speaker 2:I would say yes, because that's just the right thing to do, no matter what it's, the it's the right thing to do, yeah and you know God, we all are born with this moral code inside of us because God has given us that, and so it's like knowing Killing is wrong.
Speaker 2:Well, why is killing wrong? Because God tells us it's wrong and he creates that in us, and he also creates us to want to, to take care of people and Help others, because it's the right thing to do, and so it's not always easy. But when you feel God asking you to do that, so it kind of answers your question earlier in the episode where you're like, well, god told you to do this, I feel like in hearing you guys talk, he also is to asking you guys to do this, because not every Family and not every kid feels that conviction inside like, well, yeah, I'm, of course I'm gonna move my bedroom around, because that's that's what we're supposed to do, because these kids need it. It's easy for us to say, of course, that's these kids need a place to stay, so we'll make, we'll make space for them, but not everybody. Even though it seems like an easy answer for us, it's not. It's. It is a very hard thing. So I'm really proud of you guys for for being able to and willing to give that up.
Speaker 1:All right. Can I ask this other question you have on here because I like it? Yeah, all right. Do you guys feel like Doing foster care has made us the weird family?
Speaker 3:Why.
Speaker 1:Opposite.
Speaker 3:Because like nobody else in my grade does foster care. They thought it was like cool.
Speaker 1:They look up to you.
Speaker 2:Yeah really, that's really cool.
Speaker 1:Liberty, the, the eight-year-old that was in your grade. How, how did the other kids at school treat him like?
Speaker 3:Well they, they. At first they didn't know who it was, but he knew back in back it like was supporting him and stuff, but then like they treated him well. He was one of the more popular kids, honestly.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the kids ended up really liking him a lot is kind of what.
Speaker 3:I was. Trying to get out of you, but they were sad when he, like he, came home and I was like, he was like he's. He was like dude, these girls coming up to me and chasing me a recess. This one girl asked me if I want, if I wanted to be her boyfriend. I was, and I was like, well, I Nice.
Speaker 1:All right, carter, do you think it's made us the weird family? No, a bunch of weirdos we all walk around in our crocs and sweatpants, and.
Speaker 3:I mean Like no.
Speaker 1:I do not work right.
Speaker 2:Okay, so do you feel like our family is better or worse Since? Doing foster care, because earlier you said we don't really spend as much time together. So I'm just curious on your thoughts.
Speaker 1:Why you can tell the truth.
Speaker 3:You can say better, or I know I would say, yeah, a little like better, not as much worse as better.
Speaker 2:Okay, I'll take that. I'll share my answer after you guys are done.
Speaker 1:Let me just ask you this. So we gave up, like, just by simple math, there's two of us with mommy and daddy, right, and we had seven kiddos. So, by math, you guys had to share our attention. You didn't get all of our attention, but what? What were the good things about us Doing foster care, like? Do you think that it was worth it, like you, sacrificing a little more attention from us?
Speaker 3:I think it was worth it.
Speaker 1:What have you so? Why was it worth it? For you guys, like what did you learn anything from it? Like, how does it made you feel? Has it changed you? Do you think that you're a better person because we've done it? Okay let me answer this. Okay.
Speaker 2:Okay, so do I think our family is better or worse. I Think that our family is stronger, and so I don't know about better or worse, because I think that we just went through a very, very hard year of Taking kids in, loving kids, saying goodbye, hearing about hard things that they were going through, welcoming them, them back after we had to say goodbye, loving their mom, wondering about their safety, worrying. It's taken a lot of energy, but through it all we have leaned on each other. We've had so many good conversations. We've fought and then we've made up. We've yelled and then we've apologized. We've We've loved people even when we didn't want to, and I think all of those things are Refining us. Do you guys know what that means?
Speaker 1:Making you better. It's yeah.
Speaker 2:So I think that is our house a little bit messier.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's our walls dirtier, yeah do we know right now, we just painted them, do we have a lot of resting that we need to do and have we missed out on some quality time? Our snacks gone from the pantry, yeah, but do do we need to be working on more quality time and being more intentional? Definitely, we haven't had as much quality time as we used to when there were only three of you, but I think that we're all different and we're all changed through this experience. And when I forget what your question was, where I think you asked if they're worse or better or if they're better because of it, man, I have seen you two grow so much over the last year and a half, like, I think, you, in ways that you never would have grown if we didn't go through this experience.
Speaker 2:Carter, the way that I just see you Love all of these kids and take care of the babies and help me when there's eight of you in the house and step up. You never would have had to do that if there were only three of you. I mean you just it's so cool and it shows me little glimpses of he's gonna be such a good dad someday and he's so compassionate and he he is so much more patient than he used to be. Still need to work on it, but so much more patient than he used to be, and liberty. Sharing a room with younger sisters is not easy especially Especially the younger sisters that you have and I know that sharing period is hard for you sometimes and Loving people that annoy you really badly is Not easy at something I'm not great at. But over the last year and a half you have done it so much better recently than you did in the beginning and you just You're. You just have grown up before our eyes.
Speaker 1:It's like I'm watching you love watching both of you love Strangers and love mom and loving them as if they are and accepting them as your brothers and sisters, and Stand out for them same as you do your biological brother and sisters Is been really cool, and so I just want to jump into one with that question is that I Think of it like this guys, when you want to get good at basketball, both of you play basketball when you want to get good at basketball, what do you have to do? You have to practice and practice. You're running right, you're trying new moves, you're shooting, you might be doing some push-ups, things that are hard, and if you work really hard in practice and you run, run really hard, how should your muscles feel after practice? Okay, and was that hard? Yes, did it kind of suck? Yeah, but did it make you better? That's how real life is, too, and that's how I feel.
Speaker 1:Like us doing foster care. Yeah, it was hard. We had to sacrifice attention, we had to share food, snacks, our rooms, our living rooms, sleepless nights, explaining things at school, right, all of these things. But all of those things, that's what we that's what refinement means when mommy was talking about it is. God uses the hard things To make us better and to make us more like Jesus, and even when Jesus came, jesus had to do the ultimate hard thing Right. He died on a cross and then I had to rise again, but by doing that he saved the entire world Right. So, yeah, it was hard and in life, often the things that are good, the things are gonna make you better, are gonna be very hard.
Speaker 2:And when God calls us to something, most of the time what he's calling us to is growth. He's calling us into a path because he wants to grow us and change us and shape us, and I feel like that's what this has been for us. So it's definitely been hard, so, but it's been really good. Two more questions oh man, I had three more, but I know this is getting long, so should I do two or three. Okay, well, if we want to cut this one out, we can, but because we kind of touched on it. But what has been the hardest thing about our family doing foster care? What's been the most like painfully hard part?
Speaker 3:Probably like being kind and loving to them. Sometimes can be really hard.
Speaker 2:But, as would you say, it's just as hard to be kind and loving to liberty sometimes. Yes, for me, saying goodbye has been the hardest part.
Speaker 2:Okay, and then second to last question what has seen these kids and hearing their story? So there are things that you guys know about these kids lives and things that they went through that we have to keep secret and I want to say secret, but we have to keep private as a family, because that's their private information. But you know some very, very hard and heavy things that these kids have walked through. What has hearing those things and and knowing what they went through taught you? What has it taught you about this journey and maybe your own life?
Speaker 1:Knowing that there are kids out there that have gone through what they've gone through All of the bad things, the hard things as to why they were in the foster care in the first place and things that happened to them after they left and then came back all these hard things and then look at your life and the family you have. How?
Speaker 3:what does it taught you about you? How does it?
Speaker 1:make you feel knowing what they went through and then how your life is.
Speaker 3:It makes me feel lucky. It makes me feel lucky Honestly, makes me feel sad. Yeah, it makes me feel sad for them and like lucky to have such a good life from what I've seen them go through.
Speaker 2:Well, I know we've talked about this before. What does it make you think like when you're at school and you see all the different kids knowing what you know about the kids in our home and how normal they look and then going to school? What does it make you think about some of the other kids in your school?
Speaker 3:Like there's weird kids at my school and they're getting made fun of. But like they probably have a hard life, like our foster kids have gone through, they probably don't have a good home life. You know they don't look clean. They wear their same clothes like three times a week.
Speaker 1:They don't have a good life? They're probably not.
Speaker 3:They're probably poor and their parents don't really care for them that much, and there's no reason why they should be made fun of for doing nothing.
Speaker 1:So if somebody was making fun of them, how does that make?
Speaker 3:you feel Making fun of them. It makes me feel frustrated and sad Making fun of them. If they knew what they have had gone through. They wouldn't do that at all, and like them going through that every day is just really not okay.
Speaker 2:It makes me feel sad Last question so daddy said earlier, there's over 500 kids in the foster care system just where we live in our county and there's only like 120 families. So even if every family took four kids, that would be pretty much every family would need to take three to four kids to be able to take care of the problem. So that's a lot because we've had Especially if you already have a lot of kids.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it is, it's a lot. But there's people out there who feel like maybe we should do this. But I can't do that to my biological kids. It's so hard for them and I don't. It's going to mess them up and it's going to ruin our whole family. If there's a parent out there that thinks that they're like I want to do foster care, but I don't want to ruin my family and I don't want it to mess up my biological kids, what would you say to that parent?
Speaker 3:Well, they should ask their kids if their kids want to do it.
Speaker 2:That's a really good answer, yeah.
Speaker 3:It won't. It's not going to ruin your family, it's not going to mess it didn't really mess us up it made us.
Speaker 1:We were already messed up.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it made us stronger and it's not going to. It's not going to. It's not like it's going to tear your family apart.
Speaker 2:What would? What are some of the things that we've done over the last year to have to help us work through these things Like would have been some helpful things that we've done to make our family stick together through it.
Speaker 3:Giving us a break from them. Yeah, we've had family nights.
Speaker 2:Yeah, family nights, yeah, talking about our feelings, no matter what we're feeling. Do you guys feel like you can do that?
Speaker 3:Like even if you're feeling bad feelings.
Speaker 2:do you feel? How do you do you feel like you can share them? Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 3:Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 1:Okay, why should somebody do foster care?
Speaker 3:Because the kids need a home to live.
Speaker 2:That's a good answer.
Speaker 1:Carter.
Speaker 3:The kids need a home and they deserve a home to live. And it's not. It's not going to do it. It might change you a little bit. It's not going to change you that much, but it's good.
Speaker 1:Do you mean that in a bad way, like it's not going to change?
Speaker 3:No, it's not going to change you in a bad way at all. I feel like.
Speaker 1:What about in a good way?
Speaker 3:Like we said earlier, it's going to make you stronger, and these kids are in need of a home so that that like they deserved. They deserve a home and I feel like by doing foster care, it makes your family stronger and it gives you more experience with things that you aren't comfortable with doing.
Speaker 1:Okay, if we could get into a time machine and go back 18 months ago, or actually even longer. If we go back two years ago and you and we, mommy and daddy, came to you, we haven't done foster care yet. And we come and ask you, what do you think about us doing foster care now that we have done it? Would you say yes, we should do it, or would you say no?
Speaker 2:And you can tell the truth.
Speaker 1:Tell the truth.
Speaker 3:Yes, I would say yes, definitely.
Speaker 2:Really yes why.
Speaker 3:Because I like it. You really do. Because you get to meet new kids? I would say yes.
Speaker 1:Why would you say yes?
Speaker 3:It's not only good for you and good for the kids. Like, if I could do, like what? The same kids, what we've already gone through, I would say yes because I already know what they have gone through. If we went back in a time machine, so I would 100% say yes because then maybe we can prevent the stuff from happening before it happens. And even if we didn't go back in a time machine and like, let's say, we never did foster care and you guys just came up to us right now, I would still say yes because it feels right and it feels like the right thing to do.
Speaker 3:And think about if we never met those kids?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I feel like our life would be so much more. I'm so happy that we know all of those kids and their family. Yeah, all right. Well, thank you guys so much. We love you guys, and I don't know how to end this. Is there anything you want to say?
Speaker 3:Later. All right, see ya Bye Later, later Bye.