A Force To Be Reckoned With
A Force To Be Reckoned With
223. Life Update: Honest Feedback, Healthy Conflict, and Spiritual Warfare in Relationships
Anyone else wondering how we’re already in February?
Feels like we were just ringing in the new year, and now we’re knee-deep in real life. This episode, we’re hitting pause to reflect, laugh at the messiness, and talk about what’s actually helping us grow right now.
We’re also sharing what’s been shaping us lately—what we’re learning, reading, and listening to, plus our monthly Bible verse. And since iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17), we’re talking about the power of community and how the right people push us to grow.
Life isn’t just about getting things done, though. We’re tackling the resistance that comes with stepping into something good—and how faith, perspective, and a solid support system help us push through.
Come along with us for a mix of laughter, reflection, and a reminder that you’re never in this alone.
Episode Highlights:
- Let’s catch up.
- What we’re reading, learning, & our favorite songs.
- Our Bible Verse for the month.
- Iron sharpens iron.
Links Mentioned in Episode/Find More on A Force to Be Reckoned With:
- Jointheforce.us
- Follow us on Instagram @bethanyadkins
- Find us on Youtube!
- Get your Bible verse printable here!
This show has been produced by Adkins Media Co.
We are at war and it's not against our neighbors, spouses, children, politicians or whatever else we feel like we're battling against.
Speaker 2:So the questions are who's the fight against, and are we winning or losing? We're the Adkins, and we are a force to be reckoned with, Are you?
Speaker 1:ready to join the force and action. I was wondering if you were gonna say that take five uh, hi everyone, happy t.
Speaker 2:We have a guest here. It's the baby, so don't mind us. She has very heavy breathing. It's just who. She is Not going to change and she's having a bottle. So if you hear any noises, don't be alarmed. Corey's holding her. But all that aside, Be alarmed. It is February. Can you guys even believe it?
Speaker 1:No, I'm answering for them. No.
Speaker 2:It's February 4th to be exact. I mean, right now it's not, it's February 2nd, but it's February 4th when this airs and I can't believe it's already February.
Speaker 1:It flew by, but then I think back to new year's eve and that felt like a lifetime. It does feel a long time ago like. I feel like we've lived so much life and I feel like it's already been about five months, but the weather hasn't gotten any better okay, so it is.
Speaker 2:It's been a month, it's been a month.
Speaker 1:You want to.
Speaker 2:I mean, where do we start? It's been a month you just want to start with these questions.
Speaker 1:No, actually I want to say something. I feel like this month I'm pretty sure maybe there was a little dip, but physical touch has been better.
Speaker 2:Oh no.
Speaker 1:I just had to get that in there.
Speaker 2:We're not talking about this? Are we? I had to get that we're not talking about this are we. I had to get that in there for dave and what just letting dave know remember we used to call out brenda all the time. Yeah, how you doing brenda, did I tell?
Speaker 1:you?
Speaker 2:she called me the other day, no she called me the other day and she said she wanted to know what number five was oh my gosh we love you brenda.
Speaker 1:We should, we should give her a nickname a nickname yeah we can't force it brendy no, I can't force it. You gotta come up with something good. But yeah, no, dave, text me stop you keep calling people out on here.
Speaker 2:No, dave is not a real listener. Yes, he is, hi, Dave Hoping, you're having a good start to your work week, Dave. Actually, when it came to the last segment of our last podcast about where we did the love languages, I put a little part in there for Victoria to cut it out. She did cut some out, but she left a good amount in still, and there were a lot of people who messaged me on social media people that listen in real life.
Speaker 2:You didn't even tell me they were like I was cracking up, yeah, and I know yeah.
Speaker 1:I got one.
Speaker 2:I told you, you don't talk to people and you're not on social media.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I guess yeah, it was Side note. I'm a little jealous. I saw Dave today across the court there and he cut the sleeves off of his Jesus one shirt that we have.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:And I want to cut my sleeves off.
Speaker 2:So I just shirt that we have, oh my gosh, and I want to cut my sleeves off. You inspired me, dave. Dave's not going to listen anymore if you keep calling him out, so please stop, because I actually like Dave.
Speaker 1:Nobody knows who Dave is.
Speaker 2:We could have at least given him a pseudonym.
Speaker 1:No, why would we give him a pseudonym?
Speaker 2:David, david, okay, but one more thing. This is just totally random. This is going to I'm already going to tell you guys this, this episode is going to be a little all over the place because there's a lot we're filling you in, there's a lot that we want to say, and then there's also a lot that just keeps coming to mind. So, speaking of the love languages segment, this is something and I've wanted to do an episode on this for a long time. We're not going to go into the depths of it, but this is something I struggle with because my sense of humor like okay, I love Jesus, love Jesus.
Speaker 1:Are you prefacing this?
Speaker 2:He lives in my heart I feel like just my relationship with Jesus is great I do. But also I feel like sometimes my sense of humor is not appropriate and so it's like walking this tightrope, like that love languages thing. It wasn't too bad. But then sometimes we'll say things on here and I'm like I don't know. Like, for example, remember when I told you about the mom's retreat? Yeah so that's the story I was gonna tell.
Speaker 1:This is my struggle okay, wait, are you gonna tell somebody else's story?
Speaker 2:no, no. My story of my own personal experience.
Speaker 1:Oh, boy, okay so.
Speaker 2:I went to. I just it's my sense of humor and I feel like maybe it gets me in trouble and then I'm like beat myself up about it. So hold on, I'll get there. But so we went on this mom's retreat. It's a bunch of foster moms and incredible group of women, so fun. Lots of women I admire there. Yeah, just a great time. We play this game. Okay, what's it called? I don't even know. It's this game where you like write, write words on a piece of paper and then you put them in and then people time. You Like you have a team, your teammate pulls the words out, and the first round you like you have a team, your teammate pulls the words out, and the first round you like. There's another game that's like this. So like, let's say, the word is box. I have to describe the word without saying box yeah I'd be like you put stuff in it.
Speaker 2:It can be cardboard. Stuff comes in them from amazon and then eventually you would say box yeah, yeah, I can't think of it. So that's the first round and you just have to go through as many words as you can. But the thing with it is is that everybody just wrote words in there, so you're pulling people's words. So I, a couple years ago, wrote the word Balcinian.
Speaker 1:I do remember this. I was like I don't remember what story you're talking about.
Speaker 2:So if anybody has seen Men in Black, they would know what a Balcinian is. And it is exactly what it sounds. It is a character, A fictional character, okay.
Speaker 1:An alien.
Speaker 2:And they have. This is what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1:They have a scrotum, this maximus on their chinimus.
Speaker 2:So I just wrote it the one year and it was like a smaller group of friends that I'm closer with. And it was like they know my sense of humor. Well, this mom's retreat, there's like 50 women there and I didn't think about that. But I knew as soon as I wrote that word that I would put it in there and people would know from the previous year. Well, one of the new women got the word. Oh, yes. And then I have to explain to all of these women.
Speaker 1:Please tell me it was like an older woman, was it?
Speaker 2:It was a woman that was older than me. Yes, do you see what I'm saying? Like then, the whole night I was tossing and turning, thinking.
Speaker 1:Did she act it out?
Speaker 2:No, she didn't know what it was, and then I had to explain it to the entire group of women.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:No, but the thing is that to me is funny. Okay, because you're acting out. It's just funny, I don't know. But then to other people they're.
Speaker 1:They're too uptight.
Speaker 2:But it's not just in that group In the world.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they're too uptight.
Speaker 2:It's like. That's not appropriate.
Speaker 1:Loosen up. We only have one life.
Speaker 2:So, anyways, I don't know. I just had to pause this because now I'm sweating talking about this, because that is who I am at my core, making silly jokes, but then I overthink it.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm, so you definitely overthink it.
Speaker 2:What can I say? I do have the sense of humor of a 12-year year old boy, and it's not such a bad thing, is it?
Speaker 1:No, it makes you fun. Okay, Well it makes life more fun. I'll be thinking about this all night, but I'll let you know when you cross the line.
Speaker 2:I don't know if I should use you as my sounding board. I know we we're in the same boat the bottom line is we're we're being refined every day and I'm way better than I once was, but I just don't think I'll ever. And you said people are too uptight. I think that's fine. I think that that's different personalities. I think that I'm not saying people are uptight. I just think that not everybody is as funny as me oh, wow no like maybe you do need to be refined.
Speaker 2:They don't have ego much same sense of humor as me.
Speaker 1:I guess I should say like yeah, I would agree, and I don't really want to hang out with them.
Speaker 2:I do.
Speaker 1:You like to hang out with people that aren't fun.
Speaker 2:I think that I don't know.
Speaker 1:I mean, we can like get work done together, but like I don't like hanging out with you, you know I'm fine with it.
Speaker 2:I'm not expecting everybody to make that joke. I just don't want to feel like me. Making that joke makes me a terrible person, because it doesn't. That's what I mean If I'm around people that are like, oh here she goes, the.
Speaker 1:Balginian again. Oh man Okay.
Speaker 2:So okay. So what's been going on in your world?
Speaker 1:What's been going on in my world? What's been going on in my world? I don't know. This month has been a whirlwind. It's been so busy. It has I feel like we've been running nonstop.
Speaker 2:I know, but do you remember? Our goal for 2025 was our life has been so busy and we're not going to do that this year.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, it didn't really start off great.
Speaker 2:But it did, because today's your last day of 75, pard.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:So in some ways it's been good.
Speaker 1:No, I mean it's been good. I feel like there's been a lot of productivity. Yeah, Not just busyness for the sake of being busy, but been productivity.
Speaker 2:I will say, even though it's been busy, that's just who we are at our core. There are things that we've shaved off, that we needed to for the sake of being intentional in other areas and that has felt good, like as hard as it was to cut things out it felt good and I do think, even with the busy I've been, I do feel like I've been more intentional about not putting so much pressure on myself to have everything perfect, and you know yeah, I noticed like letting myself read there were dirty dishes in our sink for like three days and neither that's how busy we were Neither one of us even touched them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, which is crazy.
Speaker 1:Normally it's like, you see it.
Speaker 2:But then on day three I exploded, so we're working on it now. But yeah, reading like that's one thing I actually have sat down to read in the middle of the day. One day I came home from a doctor's appointment and I took a nap.
Speaker 1:Wait a minute, what?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I did. I'm so jealous I did. It was only about 20 minutes, but still.
Speaker 1:I'm so jealous right now.
Speaker 2:Yeah so.
Speaker 1:No, I feel like this has been like strategy month for me, like from a work perspective. I just had so many like meetings and deep dives into just like planning out the year. Yeah, so I'm ready to be done with the strategy and start executing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm feeling good about our debt. We're going to give that update in two weeks.
Speaker 1:Paid off 29 cents.
Speaker 2:I'm hopeful it's more than that, but we'll see. Okay, so let's talk about what we're learning, what we've read, all that kind of stuff. So what are you learning right now?
Speaker 1:So what I'm learning actually is directly from what I've been reading. So I've been reading this book called deep work by cal newport. Um, I've had that book for a while and I started to read it a while ago and I realized why I put it down, because it's actually like the guy is like around our age, but the writing is so intellectual and so like.
Speaker 2:It's one of those like he doesn't talk about it's kind of like a.
Speaker 1:Paul Chinian no, definitely not. I don't think he'd know what that was, but it's like it's kind of a dry book, but the what I've been able to like take from it has been so good and so like basically the some of the concept of the book. It really has applied to some of the things I need to get done this year too. Um, but is that? We just live in this world of constant distraction? You know our phones, computers mostly, and with like, with my job it's, I constantly live in a world of distraction. I need to answer all these emails, I need to answer this call and reply to this text and all this stuff, because it's account management, so it's high communication. Yeah, but the problem is that when you do the busy work and he what does he call it? He calls it the shallow work um, you, you can miss some of the like big things that you really want to accomplish, so like so true, I feel like I'm constantly caught in the shallow work yeah.
Speaker 1:So what he does is he talks about he.
Speaker 1:He starts the book off like talking about deep work and all these people that do deep work and why it's important, and then he starts to give you strategies on how to do it and it kind of breaks it down into a few different categories, depending on, like, what your job is.
Speaker 1:But basically is blocking out, specifically blocking out and scheduling time where you're not distracted, where you're not answering your phone, you're not looking at your computer, you're not, like if you're at your office, like you're putting something on the door like a do not disturb sign or something, and you're spending a minimum of like a 90 minute chunk of working on like the bigger things. So for me it's a lot of like my work strategy for the year and it's hard for me to like I'll come up with strategy and ideas, but I feel like I've been so reactive over the past couple of years with with work and personal stuff that I haven't had an opportunity to work on the bigger things that could really move the needle in a bigger way. And so I'm, as I'm going through this book, I'm thinking through like how to plan out those times I mean he goes to, depending on what your profession is. He talks about people like blocking out an entire week where they go away to like a cabin or a hotel room and are away from everybody.
Speaker 2:That sounds amazing.
Speaker 1:But like he talks about people that like in my with I, what with what I do, where I wouldn't be able to do that of blocking out at least in like 90 minute chunks, you know, throughout your week.
Speaker 2:So it's doing the more proactive stuff as opposed to the reactive.
Speaker 1:Right and yeah, the bigger, like the bigger things that are going to make a big difference if you do them. But you they're like they're not.
Speaker 2:they're not urgent yeah.
Speaker 1:So you don't do them.
Speaker 2:Man, that's like my whole life in a nutshell is constantly doing the thing that has to like meet a deadline and like putting out little fires, and then that's like work stuff putting out little fires and then that's like work stuff. But then even in home I would think it's like doing the dishes, doing the laundry, the stuff that always is like never ending cycles and then you don't get to do any of the Right, but if you schedule it and make it a no compromise, yeah.
Speaker 1:Like, then you'll be able to do it.
Speaker 2:Well, now I don't have to read that book.
Speaker 1:Thanks, yeah, honestly, I probably just saved you a lot of reading. I'm still like, I think I still have like 70 pages left.
Speaker 2:Yeah, interesting.
Speaker 1:So I'll let you know if there's more.
Speaker 2:Is that like what you would say you're learning?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm learning like I'm learning that that's important and I'm learning that I definitely need to do that and it's good timing. Um, and now I'm thinking through, like, how to actually implement it yeah so I'm learning that I'm really bad at finishing books.
Speaker 2:That's what I'm learning because I'm reading three books right now and I realized I do this to myself all the time, all the time, and I don't know why I do this, but which I don't mind reading multiple books at a time. But it's like I will get.
Speaker 1:I just like a shiny new thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, mm, hmm.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I tend to do that if I'm reading a book that's more dry.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Well, the good news is the books that I'm reading. I'm reading a health one, like Christian personal development one, and then a fiction, which I don't usually ever read fiction, but was encouraged by a friend to do it.
Speaker 1:When did you turn into a nerd? I'm not because who reads fiction?
Speaker 2:I'm reading it right now and I'm almost done with it and I liked it a lot and it's a little bit scary, so Wow.
Speaker 1:You're actually reading a scary book. It's a little bit scary.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm a little bit scared at night, yeah. So but the, the one that I really want to talk about, which we actually are going to talk about this month. It's called Life Together, about which we actually are going to talk about this month. It's called Life Together by Dietrich Bonhoeffer, so I'm not going to go too much into detail here because we're going to talk about that more next week, because our theme this month is about community and friendships and that's so our verse ties into that. But I will say I started reading it. So I went to this book retreat a couple years ago, right when we got licensed for foster care, and the kids came, like Jefferson Bethke puts a book retreat on, and I went to Vermont and he actually recommended the book and I had gotten it, then started reading it and never finished it. But now I'm almost done. I'm actually going to finish it this week, but it's so. He's so he's really smart he is. What would you consider him?
Speaker 2:He was like a theologian, I think is what they would categorize him, as that's what I was going to say, but I wasn't sure he's a pastor. And he was just, yeah, an incredible guy, cause you actually read his I haven't finished it biography yeah, that's one of the ones like it's kind of dry.
Speaker 1:Yeah, his biography and I think the last time I talked about when I was reading it, I misquoted and I think I said it was like 300 pages long.
Speaker 2:It's like 600 or 700 pages but he lived an incredible, incredible life and ended up I'm only like a third of the way through.
Speaker 1:Do you know how he?
Speaker 2:died.
Speaker 1:Don't tell me.
Speaker 2:Oh, I feel like this is a common. I want to find out.
Speaker 1:It's not knowledge. I don't think everybody knows who Dietrich Bonhoeffer was.
Speaker 2:Well, if you don't, then you should, and if you don't, then you will by the end of the month. If you listen to the podcast, no-transcript outside of what I'm reading, oh no, did you seriously forget it already?
Speaker 2:For those of you who are listening, we've deleted this segment like four times because I keep forgetting I was going to say hold on hold on, hold on, hold on. It was so good. I'm just kidding, it wasn't that good. I thought of it. Okay, it was so good. I'm just kidding, it wasn't that good, I thought of it, okay. I am learning that slow and steady wins the race.
Speaker 3:Profound right Tortoise and the hare.
Speaker 2:No, seriously, though, for multiple reasons. One, my brain is a million miles a minute and'm constantly like go, go, go, go, go go, which is fine. And I'm like a super productive person but don't always pay attention to like the details, like I like I love to write no grammar, hate editing, hate slowing down to read, I like just want to type, type, type, type type. So anybody who works really closely with me sees that when I'm like it's a mess because I just am so that like I can do better there, just slow down and take time to develop the systems. I love systems but I don't always develop them because they're slowing me down and I just want to like.
Speaker 2:That's why my desktop on my computer is always a mess, because I don't take the time to systematize, because I just want to do the next thing, the next thing, the next thing, when really, if I would just take the time to slow down, it would be better. But also, same thing goes for just like goals and stuff, where you, we have all these goals for the year and my tendency is to be like a thousand, go at a thousand and then putter out. Is putter out the right word.
Speaker 1:Sure.
Speaker 2:And instead I have just learned so much in this month that the black and white mentality is not always good. It's actually not healthy for me, as black and white as I am with things, that I need to just give myself grace. I don't know. Even just the exercise stuff been doing it, been doing it well, been doing it consistently. But at the beginning of the year I knew that if I told myself you have to do it every single day with without exception, like 75 hard, if I would have like that week that I got sick, if I would have gone with that mindset, then I just never would have went back, whereas it's like it's a marathon. Yeah, if I would have gone with that mindset, then I just never would have went back, whereas it's like it's a marathon. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it reminds me of the 20 mile march.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, do you want to tell that story real quick?
Speaker 1:Sure, the quick version, because it's a long story, is there were two explorers back in the early 1900s that um wanted to get to. Nobody had ever been to the South Pole, so both set out to uh go to the South Pole. They started from the same distance away and um when? So eventually the one, the one guy got there. And when he got there he saw that the flag of the other guy had already been there. And then they were heading back and uh, the the one crew died. I think it was 10 miles before they got to the uh, their um shoot. What's that called like a depot where you would restock things?
Speaker 1:destination I don't know no, whatever that's called, I can't remember, but anyways and the other guy's whole team was all the way, had been all the way back for like months, and the difference in their strategies was the one guy marched if it was like a nice day out, they would march, you know, 40 miles, 50 miles, and then if it was a bad day out, they wouldn't march at all. And then the other guy, his crew, marched 20 miles every day. If it was a good day, they only marched 20 miles, if it was a bad day, they pushed through and they marched 20 miles. And so the guy that marched the 20 miles is the guy that made it to the South Pole first and his whole crew survived and got back.
Speaker 2:And it was just they talked about, like the point is, like just being consistent yes, so like yeah, consistency is the key, and that really is the truth, and consistency is slow and knowing what your 20 miles is like, picking the right number too yeah. So that's what I'm learning. I I'm learning to stop myself in the like, like when I'll tell myself, oh, you should be so much further, even with you know, running and stuff, you should be so much further than you are. Actually, you shouldn't be, because it's only been a month.
Speaker 1:Right, like don't get ahead of yourself, because that's when you get burnt out or die. You know, 10 miles before your restock station.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so what are you learning? What are you reading? Favorite song.
Speaker 1:I want you to go first on the song.
Speaker 2:Mine is Fishes and Loaves right now by Josiah Queen.
Speaker 1:Wait, that's your favorite song.
Speaker 2:It is. I have a lot of songs that I like right now and I'm listening to more than I'm listening to Fishes and Loaves now, and I'm listening to more than I'm listening to fishes and loaves, but love fishes and loaves for what it means and what we're working on this year, like, but I love that song because the way he articulates it. But even more than that I just have that's another thing that I'm trying to give myself grace with is like we're so, so busy. Okay, have a business, work, work a job, have foster kids, have bio kids, we're just have sports busy and like I, I, I can. I'm just one person.
Speaker 2:And so it's like not even just saying to myself, like this is the best I can do. But instead of even doing that, it's like you're giving it to God and you're being like, okay, god, like this is what I have to give, and so, like the story of the fishes and loaves, it's not like you're being lazy about it, yeah.
Speaker 1:It's like.
Speaker 2:This is the most I can possibly give right now, and I'm going to give my best. But I'm trusting and believing. I'm expectantly believing that you will do even more with it, and even more than that, you will do what you want with it Because, even if I had all the capacity in the world, I'm still inadequate because I'm a human. So just surrendering, surrendering the small amount that I owe.
Speaker 3:So I give you all my wishes and loans.
Speaker 2:The other thing about it is it's just surrender, which I'm really bad at. I like to hold things really tight and control things, and I'm working on that because when our lives are the way we are, they're the way they are, can't control them, so what's yours? Mine's more of like a feel good, mine's more right for the beat balances each other out and I don't to be honest with you because I'm not like a music person like you are, devastates me.
Speaker 1:It truly devastates yeah, we balance each other out but I don't even know that. I know all the words of the song, but I just like the way.
Speaker 2:Don't tell me that.
Speaker 1:I just like the way. Don't tell me that I like the way. It makes me want to move. It puts me in a good mood.
Speaker 2:Chances are I'm going to hate this song you won't hate this song.
Speaker 1:I know it's not one of your favorites, but you don't hate it. It is one of the kids. The kids love it. You ready. It's called heaven on this earth, layer number one.
Speaker 3:I just took a break and now it's back to work. God made a way. That's the only way it works.
Speaker 2:I'ma walk his way till they put me in his dirt but it's got like a good bass kick.
Speaker 1:You know good beat to it. I don't know I like it good topic for the month.
Speaker 2:Already said community and friendships. We're going to dive into that later this month, but tying into that. So Carter and Liberty did successfully memorize Proverbs 3, 5 and 6. The question is, did you?
Speaker 1:I knew that when we, when before we made it Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean on to your own understanding, but in all your ways, submit, because I was saying that one. Submit to him and he will direct your path.
Speaker 2:Yeah, which? Yes, both of us knew that and I'm sure many of you out there are like, yeah, that's like one of the first Bible verses you memorized, which is true, but keep in mind, this is a podcast. We're trying to equip families.
Speaker 1:And we're trying to equip families.
Speaker 2:So, and we're trying to do this for our kids, plus we ain't that good at memorizing, all right man, plus no, through the scripture. Like the point of the scripture, it truly is a family activity like that was why I picked, and it's the same reason this is all we got I also already know the verse that we're gonna do this month, and probably many of you guys know it too, but our kids it's.
Speaker 2:It's more about concepts. So, like we talked to the kids about what does proverbs 3, 5 and 6 mean, you carter explained it. He sent me oh my gosh, he sent me this video while I was out of town for work.
Speaker 3:I did your video. I memorized the nothing. I'm here to cheat. I actually was reading, getting my book, coming down here to read, and I thought I'd send you a verse because I just went over it in my head. So I'm going to recite the verse and say what I think it means and this doesn't count, but I just wanted to show you.
Speaker 3:I memorized it and, honestly, but she actually did trust in the lord with all your heart, not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways, submit to him and he will direct your path. I think that this means that you, just because you think your way is better, it's actually not god with. God's way is better, and if you follow him, he will direct your path for good, and not you. That's what I think it means. So, yep, I memorized it. Love you.
Speaker 2:That's so sweet.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So yeah, that was fun, but it really is something like with these verses we want to like we want to equip the family, not just ourselves, so anything you want to say about that. No, it's just like we've talked equip the family, not just ourselves, so anything you want to say about that.
Speaker 1:No, it's just like we've talked about for years too, that, like I know, if I can speak for myself, like I generally remember the concepts- of verses but I don't generally like. I don't always remember it exactly word for word and what the book it came from, the chapter, the verse or verses. Yeah, I haven't been good at it, so this is a way to at least you know. Try.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm. Yeah, so our verse for this month is and we'll put a little graphic out and you guys can download it and print it on your fridge it's Proverbs 27, 17,. Iron sharpens iron and one man sharpens another. So do you want to talk about that? I mean obviously super simple concept. We all pretty much know what it means, but we did a little bit deeper diving.
Speaker 1:Yeah. But I would even say to me I've done that verse verse for a while. I bought a t-shirt with that verse on it, actually, but it kind of it reminds me of that saying like you're the average of the five people you spend the most time with, and so that's kind of what I take from that verse. Is that you one like, if you take that saying to heart, I take from from that verse is that you one like, if you take that saying to heart, you want people around you that make you better?
Speaker 1:And in order for iron to sharpen iron, there has to be friction friction, maybe even some pain, right, but and when I look at that, it's okay. I want people around me that are like not only fun and to hang out with, but are that are going to hold me accountable and give or give me good advice, you know, when I'm going through something, somebody that can encourage me or somebody that would tell me when I've stepped out of bounds or help hold me accountable when I ask for it, like, hey, I'm working on this, can you, you know, help hold me to it. I want people like that and those relationships are deeper. And there are times where, too, where you're like, somebody may hold you accountable, like for us sometimes, when we hold each other accountable, I know my first reaction is and I'm pretty sure your first reaction is like defensive.
Speaker 3:It's like no, I didn't do that.
Speaker 1:But then you think about it and you realize some of the times that they were right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, 100%. Like it's never fun to be critiqued, but it's so necessary.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I just I think that you have to be careful, because there's a there are a lot of people that and it's easy, and that's the thing is like. A lot of times we take the path of least resistance. So sometimes we have relationships just because they're fun, but then there's no real accountability and I feel like when you have relationships that are just fun, they don't really go deep. Right?
Speaker 2:You know what I mean fun, they don't really go deep, right, you know what I mean? Um, and when you have relationships that only go deep and don't have the fun, then sometimes you're lacking on like the relational piece where you're connecting outside of just. It's almost like that is the difference between a mentorship yeah and a yeah, friendship.
Speaker 1:I would say that Like yeah, because you have fun with your friends, but you also want friends that help hold you accountable and aren't afraid to have a hard conversation with you.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, so I mean that pretty much sums it up. But I did look up this Bible ref commentary and it just says a common method to sharpen steel or iron is to use a similar piece of metal. When the two scrape against each other, both pieces are shaped and rough spots are removed. Similarly, two people can interact and help refine each other. Other proverbs note the importance of hearing other people's views. A particular importance is that this lesson implies a constructive level of conflict. The two pieces don't become sharper unless they bump into each other. Fellow believers who never challenge or question one another are liable to remain dull. Numerous biblical examples show the learning value present in relationships. Jesus may have sent his disciples out two by two because each one would sharpen the other's testimony. Mentoring is also a good example of one Christian improving the spiritual life of the other. The apostle Paul mentored young Timothy. Furthermore, he encouraged Timothy to mentor others.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so that kind of goes into what we were talking about that was the other thing I was going to say too, too, actually is that there. The other thing, too, is there are people, and it's again it's easy that you only want people around you that tell you that you're good.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:They will never give you true feedback and, to be honest with you, like a lot of times, those people that won't give you feedback are not saying good things about you behind your back, right? Sometimes, the people around you.
Speaker 2:Sometimes it might just be to their spouse, but they never tell you that. That that truth. Let's be honest we're human right.
Speaker 1:We all have shortcomings and blind spots, and and the other person may not even be right, but by not even sharing it, they can't hear your perspective on on that thing why you said balchini, right, right so that's why, like it's good to have those conversations.
Speaker 1:So if you don't, they can't hear your perspective on on that thing you said Balcinian, right, right. So that's why, like it's good to have those conversations. So if you don't agree with somebody on something, you can, and if you're friends like you can do it in a respectful way and that is like delivering it well in and having those conversations in love with their benefit in mind. But then you can share each other's perspective on why you think that way and then you're both better because of it.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so true and so well said. The very last piece of this, which goes right in with what you were just saying, just close to saying it is crucially important to care to carefully choose who we brush up against. A good friend can lead us to self-improvement and greater godliness. Ungodly people are likely to lead us towards sin and disaster. So simple, simple, simple verse, but so much there that again we can have these conversations with our kids talking about who they're surrounding their self around. What kind of a friend do you want to be? How do you have those relationships that are fun and also healthy, a healthy place where you can give honest feedback and you can also receive it?
Speaker 1:Yeah, and if you're a Christian, you want that person to be a Christian because their whole viewpoint stems from that. So, like you don't want somebody that keeps dragging you into bad situations or bad things, you don't want somebody that is just only fun. You don't want somebody that's just going to tell you good things. You need a balance, because you also don't want it's not fun to have somebody that is constantly just criticizing you either. I wouldn't consider that being like a good friend either.
Speaker 1:You want somebody that will encourage you to, when you're down, and give you honest feedback, and that feedback can be like a good thing, like you may think you did bad at something and then they tell you actually no, you're like, I thought you did a good job on this yeah, or if you didn't do a good job to to relay it in a loving, a truthful way, but like a loving way that's not hurtful but also is clear, because clarity is loving but going into that, the godly and ungodly, it kind of goes into the last part of what you wanted to talk about.
Speaker 2:So I think another really important reason to have, if you are a Christian, to have other Christian people in to you know live life with, is because conflict is inevitable and like hard things are going to happen.
Speaker 2:Conflict is, can be healthy and is, and conflict is actually needed where, like, at the end of the day, christ is the center, and we can remind each other of that and we can remind ourselves of that. And also we can remind each other that sometimes, like sometimes, yeah, you're just make stupid decisions and that's on you because you're a sinner and you fall short, but also sometimes spiritual warfare is happening.
Speaker 1:So I've had this Bible verse. It's actually been in my, it's one of my. I have two Bible verses as my screensaver, side by side, and the one is the Jeremiah 29, 11 verse, and then the second one is the first, peter 5, 8. And the verse is be sober-minded, be watchful. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion seeking to devour someone or seeking someone to devour. And I have that on my screensaver for a reason, because there are times when you're maybe doing good things for God's kingdom and the devil wants to stop you right. And that's kind of the point of some of our podcasts here.
Speaker 1:It's easy to take the easy way out and it could even be like distractions. It could be things to slow you down from doing good work right. So I mean it could be watching movies, getting on your phone a whole lot, it could be an argument with your spouse, it could be an argument with you know, family members or whatever, and it could even be an opportunities. It may even be like something that's like a good opportunity that's presented before you to even distract you from the good thing that you're doing. And what one of the so one of the things that kind of um had taken. Taken place is gosh. When was this? Like a year ago or so.
Speaker 1:Um, we were, we were, we had an interview and we never released the interview and, um, the reason was so, it was a, it was a pastor I'm not going to name any names but and it's actually just me. I was on the podcast, I thought it was doing okay, I'd read this guy's book twice and I liked the book and we're interviewing and something felt just a little bit off throughout the interview. Then we got to the end and I asked him about spiritual warfare and he basically said like, oh well, normal people aren't like important enough. He didn't say these exact words, but this was basic, this was the, if I could summarize it, he said like normal people aren't important enough for the devil to to to attack you, like he would spend his time on more important people and it's just like.
Speaker 1:I'm like wait a minute, what? Like? That's not what the bible says. I mean, the bible doesn't say be sober-minded, be watchful. If you're important, the adversary, your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour. It's, it's christ followers. When you're doing god's work, he can get in the way. So but we also have to remember like the.
Speaker 1:The disciples that jesus chose were some of the most average people that you could ever like nobody would thought they were important and they ended up being quote unquote important emperors, and he chose the average, everyday people yeah, and it caught me off guard so we ended up not airing the podcast because something, one just something felt a little bit off. And then that like just put the final straw on it. But the other part of why it's like my screensaver, I put it up there as just a reminder because it gives me perspective, because sometimes, like I can get in an argument with you and we can get into a big fight about something and I can have like these argument with you and we can get into a big fight about something and I can have like these, like thoughts and things that just go to no place healthy, and then the holy spirit comes in and reminds me and like shows me how I should actually be thinking oh, you're not leaving her right.
Speaker 1:This is the holy, I'm out, that's it'm out of here. I'm going to Bora Bora. But I put that up there to give me a reminder, because not always, but sometimes you're in an argument with somebody and or you have something you don't agree on and it's the devil trying to put a wedge between you and that person, or even put a shiny new object in front of you to go and chase, to take you away or distract you with things, so that you don't continue to do the good work that God's called you to do. And I think it's really important, especially in relationships, and it goes back to the Proverbs verse, because sometimes we may not like what if I just allowed the devil to have those thoughts, me to get those thoughts, and plant things in my head, that and then I didn't have a conversation with you about it.
Speaker 2:That happens, that happens to people.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And that's also that it goes back to the iron sharpens, iron.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Why we need that those people who can get us out of our own heads and get us out of those unhealthy thoughts.
Speaker 1:And it can. It can. It allows you to then see the other person's perspective and when you're believers, it's it's so much better because you have that foundation, you have the Holy Spirit to help you navigate that. But if you just if you and I got into a fight about something honestly dumb and then didn't talk about it like it can end our marriage and that's what he wants you know. So I try to keep.
Speaker 1:I think that if you just know that and keep that in perspective, sometimes if you get into a disagreement with a spouse or a family member or a friend, or you even have an opportunity in front of you or there's moments of distraction of too much you know leisurely things, whether like your phone and it's your phone's constantly like Instagram keeps calling you onto your phone instead of getting your work done or instead of spending time with your kids Like the devil wants that and he's prowling around, he's looking at all these different strategies and ways to attack you and and he really like I think he does that when you're trying to follow God's plan for you and you're trying to do live a life in relationship and close to God and on mission, he comes at you more because if you're not, then there. That's where I would say maybe he wouldn't waste his time on you that much, because you're just you're already not doing what God wants you to do.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there's so much more to say here on this topic. I feel like we should find somebody to come on the show that's smarter than us, Because also there's just so much interesting stuff about the devil. I read that book Fervent by Priscilla Shire, and how God is omnipresent and the devil is not, so he can't be in more than one place, but the devil there. There it's a spiritual, spiritual warfare. It's not just the devil yeah operating it. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Yeah and I remember I was, oh, I was reading one of john eldridge's books and he was talking about spiritual warfare and it's sort of uh, that I remember this and I've. It's going to sound a little weird, I guess, but I've done this where I've, like he talks about calling the devil out and and rejecting him in, like in the name of now, you know, like you're finished, you're done. In the name of Jesus, I reject you, be away, you know, whatever it may be. And John Eldridge talks about doing that in your home and in different situations.
Speaker 2:So I mean that's a lot. That's a lot of we have. We're talking about community and friendships. This month we're going to do Proverbs 27, 17 with our families and we're going to just pray over the community and friendships and finding people who are iron like so that we can be in those iron sharp and iron relationships, recognize that spiritual warfare is real and that we have to fight against that. And I mean I feel like that's pretty good for setting the stage for the month. We can just give a really quick update on where we're at with life. Corinne, we're going to Costa Rica in two days.
Speaker 1:Thank you.
Speaker 2:Thank you God.
Speaker 1:Thank you, thank you, god, I could cry yeah after this month.
Speaker 2:Thank you, god.
Speaker 1:I could cry yeah after this month. And that earlier when you were saying, like when we had Christmas break it was so good, yeah. And then this month has been so much and so crazy that that feels so long ago. It's like I already need another week.
Speaker 2:And we're getting it. So super thankful. We have friends and family helping with the kids. A little bit nervous to be going out of the country this far away with so many kids being left behind.
Speaker 1:But I'm really looking forward to it. I'm looking forward to practicing those love languages.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the quality time, sure, Carrying my luggage yeah that one. All right. Well, thanks for hanging in there with us. This turned out to be longer than we had hoped, but what's new what's new. So we hope that you guys have a good week. We're grateful for you and talk to you soon, stay classy.
Speaker 1:talk to you soon, stay classy.