A Force To Be Reckoned With
A Force To Be Reckoned With
224. Lies From the Enemy: I Can Walk This Road Alone
Do you have a friend you can be completely real with, no masks, no pretending—just you?
This episode is all about the power of deep, intentional relationships—whether in marriage, friendship, or community. We talk about what it means to truly show up for one another, the messy beauty of loving people well, and how Christ-centered connections can change everything. Inspired by Bonhoeffer’s wisdom on agape love, we dig into why choosing love daily—especially when it’s hard—is what builds the kind of community we all long for.
So, if you're craving something deeper than surface-level interactions, this one’s for you. Let’s talk about real connection, real faith, and real love—the kind that shapes us in the best possible ways.
Episode Highlights:
- Unplug and connect.
- The power of community.
- Embracing agape love.
- The benefits of friendship.
Links Mentioned in Episode/Find More on A Force to Be Reckoned With:
- Jointheforce.us
- Follow us on Instagram @bethanyadkins
- Find us on Youtube!
- 5 Reasons Why Community is Important: Article by Village Church
- Life Together by Deitrich Bonhoeffer
This show has been produced by Adkins Media Co.
We are at war and it's not against our neighbors, spouses, children, politicians or whatever else we feel like we're battling against.
Speaker 2:So the questions are who's the fight against, and are we winning or losing? We're the Adkins, and we are a force to be reckoned with.
Speaker 1:Are you ready to join the? Force coming at you live from costa rica, oh my hello everyone.
Speaker 2:Oh, my Hello everyone. How's it going over there?
Speaker 1:Great, great when you start your morning by seeing a monkey walking about 15, 20 feet from you. Yeah, it's a pretty good morning.
Speaker 2:How's it going out there? We are, like Corey said we're in Costa Rica. It's our last day. We actually are catching a flight home today, and so it's pretty early. It's actually not that early, though it's seven here, which means it's eight at home. But, we're still on vacation time.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, being able to get like a full night's uninterrupted sleep yeah, makes it. Notrupted sleep yeah, makes it not feel that early.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it has been so we have you know, as you guys know, we have the two babies at home, neither of which are consistently sleeping through the night. It's hit or miss, and so, man, we needed the rest, which, that was, was like the biggest, one of the biggest blessings of the trip, but also, I would say, I had every intention. I brought all my work stuff and I was planning to work every day, but our internet isn't great and our service is not great yeah and so it forced me to shut down more than I had planned, which I needed.
Speaker 1:I really I will say I really took for granted like getting a full night's sleep. Yeah, I didn't realize how like. Different you feel Awesome, it is.
Speaker 2:I know we should probably just take shifts when we get home, like one night you do the babies, the next night I do the babies, yeah, one night you sleep in a different room.
Speaker 1:The next night I sleep in a different room. Next, thing.
Speaker 2:You know, we're living two separate lives.
Speaker 1:Yeah yeah, sounds great, uh-huh. Yeah, speaking of like resting, we took all this, all of our like podcast equipment, thinking like, oh, we're gonna knock out some recordings, and then we waited until the morning that we're leaving and and we're doing just this one.
Speaker 2:But that's okay, because this week we are doing a live from the enemy, Next week we're doing our dead update and they're basically live. So you know they're not weeks and weeks out.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:So you're getting us fresh.
Speaker 1:And raw Real quick. What was your favorite part? Or maybe what was the favorite thing that you did during the trip?
Speaker 2:I don't know. Well, I have, I don't, I don't have a favorite.
Speaker 1:You, I think I.
Speaker 2:Were you going to say?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. Why were you going to say that? Well, I have a second. I have like a tie.
Speaker 2:Okay, go ahead. What were yours?
Speaker 1:My favorite thing was that we went surfing and that you made us do it and I didn't want to do it, and then I was really glad that we did and it was fun. And the second was like having a winning record at pool basketball.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, yeah, now your toes are all cut up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Does anybody remember the part? If anybody's seen men in black? I think it's just a second.
Speaker 2:Don't talk about the Balchini.
Speaker 1:We saw some, some monkeys, with those in the right place Really hanging low. Um, it does sound like we're like big men in black fans. I don't even know the last time I saw that I actually never even watched it well, I was gonna say is like if anybody remember the part of men in black where they melt, like the finger, their fingerprints so that they don't have fingerprints anymore. That's what the bottom of every single one of my toes looks like right now yeah, oh, that hurts the pool is like sandpaper.
Speaker 1:And then you're like pivoting, trying to move, playing.
Speaker 2:You know savage basketball yeah they get get cut up you know what I just thought of this. We need to take a picture of the setup. It's not as like cool, but we recorded in maui once before too, on our last oh yeah I gotta get this picture, but yeah anyway, the week went so fast so fast which normally, by this point in the trip I'm like ready to get home and I am, I miss the kids.
Speaker 2:Don't get me wrong. What did you say last night when we were going to bed? You're like, weren't you like? I mean, I kind of I'm starting to miss the kids I think I said that to a person.
Speaker 1:I think I said it to joe, because he was. I was like man, this, this trip went by fast and he's like it was a perfect time. It was a perfect time and I was like dude, we've got two infants at home, we've had an infant in our home every year for the past four years. This is the first full night like full week of having a full night of sleep that we've had. I said like I'm kind of missing him, but I could go a couple more days.
Speaker 2:What did he say?
Speaker 1:He just started. He's like okay, okay, I get it. His eyes got real big when I told him we had two infants at the same time.
Speaker 2:He's a nice guy.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:So yeah, it went so fast. So yeah, cory, like we did surfing lessons and I think that's well. There's a couple things I love about the trips, but like that's one of the things. So we did surfing. I rode a horse on the beach for an hour with a group of people. We did massages on the beach 40 for an hour long, a group of people. We did massages on the beach $40 for an hour-long massage.
Speaker 1:That's the best value per dollar.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and so for me, with these trips.
Speaker 1:Water aerobics.
Speaker 2:We did water aerobics, that was so fun Costa Rica. The first day Pura Vida, the first day they had water aerobics and I was like come on, come on, because I thought it would be funny and it was. We were laughing the whole time.
Speaker 1:And I was like I'm not doing that, that's for old people.
Speaker 2:It was a bunch of old people. But then me and Corey we were laughing the whole time and it was intense. It was really intense, like they really worked us out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, plus they almost called security on us for domestic violence in the pool.
Speaker 2:Yeah, With Corey, everybody's taking it so seriously and Corey and I are like kicking each other and punching each other and it was really fun. But it then like more people came from the trip and we did it with another group of people was fun yeah and you didn't want to do the water aerobics but, like, secretly, I didn't either.
Speaker 2:Same thing with the surfing. My uncle asked us if we wanted to go surf and like, first of all, I'm scared of the ocean. Second of all, I knew I wasn't getting up on that board. You did get up on your knees, yeah, but I knew I wasn't getting up on that board. Like it's not, like it's all about. This is I would say, this is one thing that I am good at.
Speaker 2:I'm good at doing things for the experience, even though I know I'm not going to be, even though I have to like force myself, but I know it's going to be fun because life is too short. That's the thing it's like. Do I really want to do water aerobics right now?
Speaker 1:No, I want to lay on the on the lazy Corey's like I'm not doing this.
Speaker 2:And like surfing, I knew it wasn't going to be up there surfing, but I knew that if I did, I'd be able to say, yeah, I've been surfing in Costa Rica and it would be a fun memory. So that's why we did it. Same thing, like the massage. It was great, but I don't know, I don't like you love, love, massages. Yeah, I'm laying there like, oh, I hope I achieved my leg. Oh, my God, it is like, oh, I hope I shaved my leg.
Speaker 1:Oh, my God.
Speaker 2:I'm just like overthinking, but it was good.
Speaker 1:I'm over there like wincing, I'm like harder yeah.
Speaker 2:And then same thing with the horses. Like it was a great experience. I'm so glad I did it, but when I got up on the horse I was a little bit scared.
Speaker 1:Were you, yeah, what was your most scared? I got up on the horse. I was a little bit scared. Were you, yeah, what was your most scared time of being on the horse?
Speaker 2:well, aside from getting up on the horse the first time and thinking this horse doesn't know me and I don't know this horse and he could kick me off at any point in time and have full trust in this guy that doesn't even speak english, that's a little scary. He's taking me somewhere. I don't even know where we're going. Well then, we saw snakes on the shore that was the second scariest part and they I guess they're poisonous. That's costa rica has a lot of uh, really crazy stuff. It's like a jungle here and I didn't realize that yeah, that was.
Speaker 1:The weird thing is like I didn't know fully what to expect, but it's like you're by the ocean, but it's like if you walk out to the beach it looks like it could be the scene for Survivor.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Or like a shipwreck.
Speaker 2:Or Naked, and.
Speaker 1:Afraid. No, we can go without Nope. Everybody's clothed. No, it looks like.
Speaker 2:Naked and Afraid. Yeah, N and afraid, Okay. So yeah, that's pretty much it, but this is the other best part. So Forever Lawn, who you work for, and they're my uncle's business they offer these incentives for their dealers nationwide, and also you. It's available to you and some other people in the home office if they reach certain goals. So these trips are full of like cream of the crop people.
Speaker 2:Not that I mean, every single person in Forever Alone is pretty awesome, you know, but these are the high, these are the achievers, and then they have high achievers, and so we got to spend the week with hard-working, successful, high achieving people, which it's like, and that is the part that I love so much.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I would say like, yeah, the outside of, like the events from a people perspective, you get to spend time with people that live far away from you in most cases that hit their goals. That you get to mostly have like business conversations with on the phone here or there, but I don't really get to spend more personal time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they've gone above and beyond in their businesses.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and we get to hang out during the week and I and go deeper and get to know each other on a more personal level. I mean people that I'll talk to regularly throughout the year, and but it's always business, yeah. You know, what I mean and I, I and I love that part.
Speaker 2:It elevates you, it inspires you and it's just so good to be around like-minded people, which ties into our verse for the month. I'm putting you on the spot. Do you remember what it is? You're kidding.
Speaker 1:You're kidding. Oh, wait a minute. Oh, iron sharpens iron. Yes, wait, hold on, as iron sharpens iron. Yes, Like one. Wait, hold on, as iron sharpens iron one man sharpens another yeah, proverbs 27, 17. Yeah, the reference is going to take a minute. Proverbs 27, 17.
Speaker 2:Come on, buddy, you got this. It's not even that hard.
Speaker 1:My first thought was my tattoo. I kept going to my tattoo. I was like no, that's not right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Okay. So we got 15 minutes to talk about this last piece. So the title of this episode so this week is lies from the enemy and the topic is the lie. I can walk this road alone, and so we're talking a little bit about community today. Just want to reiterate I mean I know we're like super articulate and stuff and you guys are going to be totally bamboozled when I say this, but Corey and I are not experts in this.
Speaker 1:I went to university and have degrees in multiple theological degrees.
Speaker 2:Just want to remind you that we you know this podcast we just want other people in our phase of life parents, married people, families to band together and live out the lives that they're called to and walk the road that God is calling them to and rise up and fight against the wicked ways of this world. Yeah, and be a force to be reckoned with.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if you haven't figured this out by now, we are normal, maybe slightly below average intelligence. Just trying sharing what we're going through. Or maybe it's that slightly below average intelligence is why we're bold enough to record it.
Speaker 2:Right Because there are people like, oh yeah, if the Adkins can do it, yeah it.
Speaker 1:Right because people are like, oh yeah, if the adkins can do it, yeah, we got this. Oh, those people, that's who's doing it, okay, okay anyway, I can walk this road alone.
Speaker 2:So what I want to say is the reason I felt compelled to even do this topic is because I just feel like there is such a lack of genuine deep relationships. Yeah, in america we have I'm not talking about like like friendships. You know where you have like all you know. You go into the school and you see these parents and you talk about like how's work, oh good, how's, how are things good, how are the kids great?
Speaker 1:how about this weather today, marv?
Speaker 2:yeah, like how about the super bowl? Talking about surface level stuff, those are great and it's nice to have that is the super bowl surface level, you think? I don't know yeah, it's nice to have that, but I'm talking about the deep in the trenches with you community, where they know the struggles you're having with your kids, they know the struggles that are going on in your marriage. They know all of those deep things. That's what I'm talking about. I feel like there's such a lack there.
Speaker 1:There is.
Speaker 2:And the surface level. It's like the enemy wants us to believe this lie that that surface level. It's like the enemy wants us to believe this lie that that surface level is enough. And then at the end of the surface level again, there's nothing wrong with that. But if you don't have that deeper level stuff, you go home from the surface level stuff almost caught in this comparison, because you don't know the depths of people's struggles and you go home in isolation feeling like, oh, like they've got it all good. And look, here we are back at home. Our marriage is a mess, our you know what I mean. We're struggling with our kids. I've got this work issue, and that it's is where the enemy does his best work.
Speaker 1:I feel like it's that level that's that's missing. Like, and if you just think about the society that we're in, we have so much more technology, like if you think back even in the from the Bible times, it's like the population is higher. We have so much more technology to quote unquote keep us connected and we're. There's all these stats out there about how, like, the gen z is the most lonely generation and even though we're all quote-unquote connected with all this technology, there's no depth. You can't go deep through, deep through your phones, your computer and have these relationships and then also even like in good american, quote-unquote good american communities where there's the kids are invested in clubs and sports and all these different things, like you were mentioning.
Speaker 2:It's like we, we run into a lot of people but you're not truly like going deep and and doing life together and the other thing on this is you don't have to go deep with everyone, like you don't need everybody to know your dirty laundry.
Speaker 1:But it's like that little level is like you have your spouse, and that's a whole other topic. It's like how deep is that? Your own kids? How deep are those relationships? How much time do you spend with your kids? Are you just letting them be on screens all the time? And then you have, like the acquaint, acquaintance, friends. So it's like we're missing this other layer of people that we don't go deep with yeah.
Speaker 2:So the lie that, like I, can walk this road alone, I think it's very real. I'll even say I mean I feel like we have really great community. There's always room to grow and improve and be refined, and we're not perfect and we've got to find more people that can put up with us. I'm not talking about growing the community. I'm talking about growing ourselves, like, like, there's always room for us to grow and be refined and all of that.
Speaker 2:Like we're not perfect at it, but for a long time time, especially early on in our marriage, like I just believed, we got like I'm married, I've got my husband, I don't, I have little kids, I don't really have time for friendships and that's really all I need. And I just think on the other side of that, I don't know that, know that that's not the way God created us. He didn't want us to live in silos, he wants us to live in community for many different reasons, and so we're just going to touch on those today and hopefully later this month, have somebody that can really hit this topic home. But the first thing I want to say about living in community is that it can be hard and it can be messy, and we're we're human, we're, um, sinful humans. We're not perfect, and so to believe that it's going to be this utopia is setting yourself up for failure.
Speaker 1:It's like I feel like the closer that you get with people, the more and the more you see each other for who you really are.
Speaker 1:Then that's when it gets messy, cause if you just have kind of surface level relationships, you never get anything into anything deep enough for it to be messy. Yeah, and I look at it like when we were talking about this. It's like it's not. It's it's similar to like marriage right, where when you're you're married, you're married to each other. You're married to each other. You're married to each other. You're married to each other. You're married to each other. You're married to live together. And in a marriage you're learning to become one and how to forgive and to let things go and to understand each other's tendencies. And so, from a deeper relationship standpoint, you start to get to see each other's scars in that way too, where you know there are things that might irritate you with one of your friends and these different things, and you're going to have disagreements, just like you would in marriage, but it's choosing to, in Christ, with other Christians in this deep community, to love each other like Christ loves you, and to forgive and to learn how to do that together as well.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, definitely. So I've mentioned that I read or was reading. I've finally finished it and it's only 120 pages. So this Life Together book by Dietrich Bonhoeffer and it is so good I feel like I'm probably going to reference this a lot this year Because it talks about Christian life together and it goes into like every aspect of life that you can imagine, from community to work life, personal life, what you should do, how you should spend your mornings, how you should spend your evenings, communion, repentance, like everything. It's just so good and it's so rich. There's a lot here on this, what you're talking about right now and I'm just going to read it and I don't know, I don't want to like read forever and ever, but there's like a lot, Um.
Speaker 2:But he says the more genuine and the deeper our community becomes, the more will everything else between us recede, the more clearly and purely will Jesus and his work become the one and only thing that is vital between us. We have one another only through Jesus Christ, but through Christ we do have one another wholly and for all eternity. So that dismisses once and for all every clamorous desire for something more. One who wants more than what Christ has established does not want Christian brotherhood. He is looking for some extraordinary social experience which he has not found elsewhere. He's bringing muddled and impure desires into Christian brotherhood.
Speaker 2:Just at this point, Christian brotherhood is threatened most often, at the very start, by the greatest danger of all the danger of being poisoned at its root, the danger of confusing Christian brotherhood with some wishful idea of religious fellowship, of confounding the natural desire of the devout heart for community with the spiritual reality of christian brotherhood and christian brotherhood. Everything depends on it being clear right from the beginning. First, that christian brotherhood is not an ideal but a divine reality. Second, that that Christian brotherhood is a spiritual and not a psychic reality. Is that, does that make sense?
Speaker 1:Yeah, Cause the way I kind of read that is when he says it's not an ideal. It's not like it's a, it's a wishful thinking, it's like it's not something that's nice to have.
Speaker 2:Yes, Sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off, but you said wish this next sentence innumerable times. A whole christian community has broken down because it had sprung from a wish dream. The serious christian sat down for the first time in a christian community is likely to bring with him a very definite idea of what christian life together should be and try to realize it. But god's grace speedily shatters such dreams. Just as surely as god desires to lead us to a knowledge of genuine Christian fellowship, so surely must we be overwhelmed by a great disillusionment with others, with Christians in general and, if we are fortunate, with ourselves it Every human. I'm going to fast forward a little bit Every human wish dream that is injected into the Christian community is a hindrance to genuine community and must be banished If genuine community is to survive.
Speaker 2:This there's like three or four pages on this and I have most of it highlighted. But basically what you were just saying, it's like we have these ideals of what community should look like and we often bring them in to our friendship circles and those, those ideals, are what hinder us from truly going deeper with other people, because we're like, eh, I didn't like the way that she talked about that topic, or eh, I don't love the way that he disciplines his kids, or you know what I mean. I'm not. I'm not a. It's like we have the, we have, we have these ideals that everything has to be perfect and cookie cutter, and we're not perfect.
Speaker 2:And that, yeah, we're not perfect, and that is, right there, one of the enemy's greatest tactics.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's good to believe this lie it's kind of like this is a funny and kind of an extreme example. But have you seen those clips on like instagram where they're asking girls like, what's your type in a man? They're like oh, six four, um makes over two hundred thousand dollars a year. And then they go into the statistics and it's like okay, what percentage of the population is six four? And it's like three percent. And then they're like and what percentage of men make over two hundred thousand dollars a year? And it's like two percent.
Speaker 1:And then they combine it and it's like okay, so you're never gonna find the man of your dreams because the pool is so small. You know what I mean. So it's like in the extreme example is is that these girls are bringing their own ideals into this situation, thinking they're just going to find what they want, and they never do. And when we look at friendships like that, we say, oh, or the. I have to have friends that are just like this and I would just expect our relationships to be so smooth and go like this.
Speaker 2:You never go deep because when, when things get rocky or whatever, you just dump them yeah, because it gets uncomfortable and it gets hard and we just think and red flag, but actually that's not it at all. We are called to lean into these things. We are called to live in deep community one because well, this kind of goes into my other point we're called to love one another as Christ has loved us.
Speaker 2:And he loves us with all of our bumps and bruises and scars and all of the things that we've done wrong. He loves us over and over, despite everything that we are.
Speaker 1:Yeah everything that we are, yeah, and and I think the other part of this ideal too when I was saying it was wishful thinking is that we also just look at it where we think we don't need it, like it's just, oh, it'd be a nice have. It's like, oh, it'd be nice to have this car, have this house, and it'd be nice to have these friends. But we don't really need these things, right, because you don't need a nice car, you don't need a nice house, but you do need friends you do need, especially in when you're in.
Speaker 1:More so when you're a christian, it's like your perspective on your marriage shifts when you're a christian, to love your spouse like christ loves you yeah and it's the same thing in a, in a christian friendship, when we accept christ and and I think bonhoeffer in the section that I was reading about this too he's talking about how, when you commit to Christ, he's calling you to die and then be born again in him and live. Your whole life is now centered in Christ. All of your relationships are centered in Christ, and part of the point of our podcast is that we are on mission, and when we are on mission and when we're on mission together, you need brothers and sisters to go to battle with and you need each other to lift each other up, to encourage each other, to help hold each other accountable, because life has meaning and purpose and we're at battle with the enemy and you don't go to battle on your own.
Speaker 2:You need an need, an army right, and how can you be lifted up and can and encouraged and poured into if you can't even be real with what your struggles are? Right it's like you need to break through that wall and you need to find those people who are willing to be in the trenches with you. We need more real christian friendships and if, by choosing to not lean into these, we're not only doing a disservice to us and our salvations in that learning and growing and refining process because, that's what these friendships do.
Speaker 2:Iron sharpens iron. We're doing a disservice to our kids because they need to see these things modeled out of what Christian community looks like. And if you read acts two which I'm going to do we are doing a disservice to other potential believers because these communities are what Christ wants us to model and what is so attractive about the Christian life. And instead in today's day and age, we're showing up to church and we're going on Sundays to check the box and we're acting like everything is all fine and dandy and then we go back to real life and everything's a mess and that's so unattractive People can sniff that out from a mile away.
Speaker 2:We have too many fake Christians. Is that too harsh, I don't know.
Speaker 1:No, I agree with it. We've talked about it multiple times.
Speaker 2:But here's what I mean. When I say fake Christians, I don't mean that you're imperfect and you drink on the weekends. That's not what I mean. I mean we need more real people who identify as Christians, who say hey, this is me, this is who I am, this is my sense of humor, these are my quirks. I'm not this cookie cutter thing that everybody like I can be fun, I can be real I'm, but also I love jesus right and I'm a sinner and I'm working on it yeah, all right, we're all we're
Speaker 1:all a work in progress, yeah, yeah. And the other thing that stuck out to me and I didn't read the whole book, but in this one of the sections Bonhoeffer referenced agape love and for me that learning about agape love was actually pretty a big deal for me, for our marriage, because it so many people just think like, oh yeah, how many times have you heard I just I fell out of love, we fell out of love. Yeah, and agape love is how christ loves us. He loved us despite who we are.
Speaker 1:He loved us in spite of yeah, what we've done to him and it's that love it. That love is a choice every day to choose to love your partner, to choose to love your spouse, your kids, and that's how god loves us, because we mess up every day in different degrees and God would have every right to not love us, but he chooses to anyways. It's that love of choice and Bonhoeffer talked about that in community. And when you understand agape love and you understand that Christ modeled that for you, that's also how you choose to love your friends and your community is, in spite of their quirks, in spite of their flaws and the disagreements, you still choose to love them anyway and go to battle with them and stick with them and not give up on the friendship just because maybe there was a bumpy, a bumpy road here or there or you had a disagreement on one thing.
Speaker 2:You know A hundred percent and I agree with you. But I also just want to be clear that there is a certain degree of like you have to drive with the people too, like you're not going to marry somebody that you have no feelings for or attraction to.
Speaker 1:And I'm not saying it's just a got pay Right.
Speaker 2:Same thing to and I'm not saying it's just a got pay right. Same thing with friendships like yeah, because you're hitting at home, like yeah, it's gonna be bumpy and yeah, there's gonna be quirks and things like that. Like obviously, for anybody to be in community with us they're gonna have to get over some stuff, but like there is a degree.
Speaker 2:We're not saying that like you have to intentionally pray for these, these communities and these people because you have, there is an element of like, how am I supposed to say it's like it can't just be anyone, right?
Speaker 1:well, you, know I agree with that. I'm more talking about like once you're in it yeah, you know, there's the dating phase.
Speaker 2:You know you date each other?
Speaker 1:do we like the same music, do we not? Do we make each other laugh? Do our kids get along like there's all that in the dating phase? I'm not talking about that. You can totally dump somebody in the dating phase, right. I'm talking about, like for spouses, like hey, we're married now, okay, and this is it.
Speaker 2:Oh, and I'm talking about from a friendship perspective like, once you've decided, like, yes, we are in community, together we're doing life together.
Speaker 1:We've made this. We've been through some stuff then it's like.
Speaker 2:Then it's like well, nothing is going. We have Christ at the center of our friendships, just like we have Christ at the center of our marriage.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And it's like we're going to get through this because we recognize and realize that we're humans and we make mistakes.
Speaker 1:And we're now eternally connected in Christ and we're on mission together. We have the same mission from Christ and mission from the same thing with Christian family too, yeah, so okay.
Speaker 2:So acts two, 42 through 47, the fellowship of believers. They devoted themselves to the apostles teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts, they broke bread in their homes and they ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think that one of the keys in here is where they say and they were breaking bread in their homes? Because, if you think about it, a lot of us that have kids now if they're involved in clubs, sports. Again, going back to that is we have these kind of more shallow friendships and and you need those and those are fine. But it's like it's the friendships that were hey, we're sitting at each other, sitting with each other while our kids are playing basketball and stuff, like you, you're not going deep. But then when you intentionally make time to break bread in each other's homes, now you're spending more time together, you're not being distracted it's more personal, it's more intimate.
Speaker 2:You have people in your space, you have your kids in your home, which is when they start to act their comfortable selves.
Speaker 1:It breaks down that yeah, that's where you bring a dessert that you burnt and you see how everybody's face reacts. Are they going to tell you that it's it sucks? Are they just gonna eat it? Yeah?
Speaker 2:yeah, it's very real. And this community, they, they sold goods, they gave to one another, they broke bread together, they did life together very intimately. And my favorite part of that scripture is at the very end, where it says and they praising god and enjoying the favor of all people, and the lord added to their number daily those who were being saved because of that obedience, of living in community together and living it. I don't want to say like loudly, like you don't have to advertise it, but just simply being real and doing those things, yeah, the lord added to their number that those who were being saved.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's attractive because people want that.
Speaker 1:That's what we genuinely crave yeah, and in that too you can read, read through it that they, by them adding to their number, they weren't just like living in this little exclusive bubble either.
Speaker 1:You know, they were allowing people to be a be a part of their, their community. Because I think sometimes with some christians that have community and bonhoeffer actually mentions this too at the very beginning when he talked he talks about how some christians just live in their own little Christian bubble and they're never really out in the world to be a witness and to help and serve other people. And that's the other piece of this is we're in this community, together on mission together, but we're out executing the mission in the real world, not staying in our safe little bubble wrap community. And oh, you know, we can't allow these people, we don't want to be around these other people and not serving and not doing anything. You know it's like they spent time together in community almost to get to be, to encourage each other and to get rejuvenated and then to go back out to battle, yeah, in the world.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and there's just it's. It's so cool the way that god designed us to crave these things to, to crave community, to crave, uh, connection with other people. And then it's there's like a roadmap for it. This book is so good and rich with that stuff and the Bible talks it's all throughout the Bible just how to do these things and why we need these things and seeing people live them out and we were reading through. There's a couple of things I want to say.
Speaker 2:We were reading through Acts in church we're going through it right now and something I mean I've read Acts before but I slowly was reading through it at home during the week and something that was so. It's just so simple but so profound at the same time. I mean it says in this scripture how people, how the numbers, were multiplied. But it was. It was the same thing with the disciples, like they just lived in the world with other people, but they were firm in who God was and because of that they didn't waver. They were still relatable in ways they were attractive to people, but because of that unwavering people, it says thousands were saved because of it and it's just a reminder that, like we do, just like you said we need to be in the world, but not of it.
Speaker 2:We need to be in community with other people. We need to be not sticks in the mud, we need to be fun, and that's the other thing with the community. These things are so fun and they're so fun for our kids. Our kids need to see that the Christian life, it's something to be taken very seriously and it's something to not take for granted and it's such a special gift but at the same time, it can be really fun. We can live a fun, adventurous life. That's really awesome too.
Speaker 1:It's not this miserable rule-following life. It is fun and you can be in the world, but not partaking in the things that the world does. It's like Jesus spending time with the tax collectors and prostitutes and all these people. Jesus didn't partake in those things, but he was there, unapologetically there, and he was called out by the Pharisees for it, and then he slammed them back, you know, for being so close minded and cutting these people off and it's I mean, it is a, it's a. It's a fine balance, but that's why you need other Christians and community with you to to do that and to encourage each other in that life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, my hope is that that we haven't asked.
Speaker 2:I know who I want to ask and we just haven't done it yet. But, um, the at the last week of this month I want to have somebody come on to delve into acts, to a little bit more of this, this portion of it, and give us practical tips, because, like I, you know, even seven years ago we didn't have this deep community that we're talking about. And I would hear something like this and think like okay, this is great, but like I mean, how do you even go about doing that? And to leave you guys with something practical right now, and it's you're probably going to roll your eyes at it, but I would say, just start intentionally praying for that community, and it might be like people that you already are doing life with, but you just haven't broken through that barrier of the next level and like being truly transparent. I think people just struggle with that because that's the way our america is like. We just are very surface level, we don't make time for these things, and that's the other thing. Man, this could be like three hours long.
Speaker 2:Community takes time and intention there are so many weeks, so like with our friends. Right now, we intentionally try to do family dinners yeah the goal is every week, but because of our crazy schedules it doesn't happen. Yeah, but even on the, the weeks that we do it, we're always so, so, so glad that we did it and we got our kids together and we made it happen, but that doesn't mean that it's like easy it's hard, it takes, it takes work, it's.
Speaker 2:We're tired on Fridays, we both sides like, not just us our friends too, like we, you know, it would be so much easier to sit in front of the couch and veg out. But like that's not living with intention and that's not, I don't know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the other thing I would add to you saying, like to get started, is we have one for sure be praying for, for who, for these families and who they could be. But, dude, you got to ask the girl out, you got to go on some family dates, you gotta get your families together. See how the spouses gel, see how the kids gel. And you gotta find, your gotta go find your people and you can't just give up if you, you know, you hung out with one family a couple times and another family a couple times and it just it wasn't your jam. You know what I mean. You just gotta keep going until you find the right people. And then, once you find the right people, now it's where, okay, we're in it. Let's, we got to stick, stick together through it, pray through this and choose to be friends every day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the one last point that I wanted to mention is that there, I mean there's this isn't an exhaustive list, but the last thing I wanted to say and we kind of touched on this already is that this Christian community, it helps us to grow in our faith and it refines us, and then that goes into the iron sharpens iron verse. Um, but I found this article I don't. I don't know if this church is reputable, I didn't do my research, but I do think that this portion of this article is good. I actually think this church is in the UK, but I'll link it. It says community is an essential part of our own discipleship and our sanctification.
Speaker 2:There are over 100 times in the New Testament where we see the Greek word al-anon, which means one another, each other mutually reciprocally. Over half of these commandments relate specifically to how we are to live in a relationship teach, encourage, exhort love to one another, encourage, share what you have, speak the truth, confess your sins. Community is important because it is where discipleship happens. Take, for example, fighting back against sin. We are to confess our sins to one another to experience healing. And then what I love, that's James 5, 16. We are to confess our sins to one another to experience healing. Bonhoeffer talks about this later in the book and it was such a good section and when I read that verse I was like that reminds me of what Bonhoeffer was saying. But then they shared a Bonhoeffer quote right here.
Speaker 1:Oh my goodness.
Speaker 2:From the exact book that we were reading.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's funny.
Speaker 2:And it says in the presence of a psychiatrist, I can only be a because this is where he talks about confession at the very end of the book. In the presence of a psychiatrist, I can only be a sick man. In the presence of a Christian brother, I can dare to be a sinner. The psychiatrist must first search my heart, and yet he never plumbs its ultimate depth. The Christian brother knows when I come to him. Here is a sinner like myself, a godless man who wants to confess and yearns for God's forgiveness. The psychiatrist views me as if there were no God. The brother views me as I am before the judging and merciful God and the cross of Jesus Christ.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's good.
Speaker 2:That is like the epitome of doing community with other believers, because the world views things so differently than the biblical worldview.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And it's just so essential to be in community. When you're in true community with other believers who recognize that they're sinners, who need saved by grace and want to do life with other sinners, it takes away that shame of like.
Speaker 2:here's my struggle right now Like this is my deepest, darkest, secret struggle, but I'm sharing it with you, and confidence that you're going to help, you're going to pray on my behalf, you're going to help me fight through this, you're going to do these things and we're going to walk through it together Takes that weight off of I'm hiding something, because that's what the enemy wants. When we hold those things in, it creates shame and it I mean that's and they know you. You know, they truly know you. You can show up as you are.
Speaker 1:They've seen you at your best, they've seen you at your worst. They know your heart is about as good as anybody else is going to know your heart, you know. So they come with all of that of knowing the full picture of who you are, yeah Right. And then to be able to help encourage you or give you advice or hold you accountable from a Christian perspective, knowing fully who you are, I mean, where else are you going to get that from human being, you know, outside of God, yeah. Where else are you going to get that?
Speaker 2:Right. And so, going back to the lie of I have, I have to. I forget how we phrased it, but I have to walk this road alone or whatever.
Speaker 2:First of all, no, you don't. And second of all, you shouldn't. Because when we are carrying these heavy, heavy things alone, or we're just relying on our spouse to get us through, that is a recipe for destruction, because the that is where the enemy does his best work. He wants to confuse us, he wants to deceive us, he wants us to believe that we are alone and we're yeah. He wants to isolate us. But when we live in the light of a Christian community, we carry each other's burdens and it takes away that heaviness and it and it defeats the enemy.
Speaker 2:It truly defeats the enemy, because he's not that creative. He only does a few things Right, and so much of it is getting us to believe lies that aren't true. And so, yeah, I would just walking away from this. If you're like, yeah, I mean, this is great and I would love to have this, or maybe you do have it and that's great, or maybe you're like on the cusp of it but you just need to go a little bit deeper, I would just encourage you to pray for the people, pray to find the community, or pray for the people that you are in community with. That it would go to this next level. And then also, I would encourage you to like reflect and think all right, what is it that I am carrying that I am maybe ashamed to talk about, but really, when it gets down to it, like most other people probably are struggling with it too, you know I mean what are my?
Speaker 2:heavy things that I need my friends to carry with me and then just pray for wisdom on how to start navigating this. I mean, that's not like I'm not a pastor. I'm just sharing from experience kind of what we have done and hopefully we'll have somebody smarter on the show soon.
Speaker 1:And the last thing, and if you're in that community, just continue to be intentional about having that time together.
Speaker 2:And last thing is, choose to show up as a real person, like who you are I. There are countless people me included previously like countless people that I know, that have been turned away from the church because of the fake behavior of other believers.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just be a real person those of you that are doing that and you think you're getting away with it. Honestly, I'm just telling you right now you're not like everybody everybody knows you know it, like you know when you see it in other people. People see straight through any level of fakeness. So just come as you are like, or you're worried about us seeing your scars. We've got scars too, we all do.
Speaker 2:So just be you yeah, okay, anyway, we hope that you guys have a good week. We'll catch next week. Speaking of real, we're gonna be doing a dead update we have to cancel that one pray for us all. Right, we'll talk to you later stay classy you.