A Force To Be Reckoned With

225. Money and Marriage: Failure is Not an Option

• Bethany and Corey Adkins / Adkins Media Co.

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How would you define your relationship with money in your marriage—a seamless partnership, a constant tug-of-war, or something you avoid talking about altogether?

In this episode, we’re getting real about marriage and money—because if there’s one thing that can test a relationship, it’s finances. We’re pulling back the curtain on our own experiences, sharing the lessons we’ve learned (sometimes the hard way) about handling bank accounts, tackling debt, and navigating different spending styles without losing our minds.

Talking about money in marriage doesn’t have to feel like a high-stakes negotiation—we’re here to prove it can be honest, productive, and even a little fun. From budgeting hacks that actually work to figuring out what’s truly worth your time and money, we’re diving into the practical and personal sides of financial teamwork.

So, if you and your partner have ever argued over a Target run or debated the merits of separate versus joint accounts, this one’s for you. Tune in, subscribe, and let us know—what’s been your biggest money win (or disaster) in marriage?


Episode Highlights: 

  • Debt update.
  • Getting finances in order.
  • Methods that have worked for us.
  • Marriage talk.


Links Mentioned in Episode/Find More on A Force to Be Reckoned With:

This show has been produced by Adkins Media Co.

Corey:

We are at war and it's not against our neighbors, spouses, children, politicians or whatever else we feel like we're battling against.

Bethany:

So the questions are who's the fight against, and are we winning or losing? We're the Adkins, and we are a force to be reckoned with.

Corey:

Are you ready to join the force? This is not our intro. Come on, sam Makes me feel like I'm coming out on. This is the Price is Right.

Bethany:

Yeah, welcome to Money and Marriage.

Corey:

Is anybody else imagining the Carlton dance right now?

Bethany:

I don't know what that is you mean from.

Corey:

From Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Remember Carlton.

Bethany:

Mm-hmm. The nerdy one. So many Will Smith references on this show.

Corey:

Wait, when else was there a Will Smith reference?

Bethany:

Do I need to say when. Balchinian in this episode too, oh.

Corey:

Men in Black I thought you were talking about when you slapped me right across the face in the middle of the podcast.

Bethany:

How's it going everyone? We hope that you're having a good week. We have our little lady here, so if you hear, well, honestly it could be heavy breathing, crying, reflux and coughing. She's got all the sounds.

Corey:

And that's all just Bethany.

Bethany:

So don't mind her.

Corey:

Is there a reason this is out?

Bethany:

No, we hope that you guys are having a good week. It's the last week of February, which is insane to me and, sorry, I don't want to wish time away, but I really want to wish winter away. Yeah, I'm so done with this so done.

Bethany:

Sorry that we missed last week. A couple of you reached out and I think probably mostly because you guys knew what week it was. It was money and marriage and we'll have you know that we're not skipping over it. That's what this week's episode is. You probably saw that from the title already. The title this week is money and marriage. Do you know the subtitle?

Corey:

Oh, failure is not an option.

Bethany:

Yeah so.

Corey:

You know who's really failed me? We might be failing.

Bethany:

We might have gone up this month.

Corey:

You know who's really failed me, though? What Scientists.

Bethany:

Why? Because of the weather. I just like, I just see you looking out the window Is there?

Corey:

anybody else out there that like, maybe you don't say it out loud, but you kind of like the winter. This winter has sucked, so bad that you just wish that global warming was real. Like can I just do like five laps in my truck and then you're suburban and we can warm this bad boy up a little bit.

Bethany:

Yeah, I don't think it's going to work like that, but it will be spring soon. There's something good always on the horizon.

Corey:

It is darkest before the dawn.

Bethany:

Your beard's looking really great today.

Corey:

Do you?

Bethany:

Does that make you excited?

Corey:

It does, but like I feel, like I've aged.

Bethany:

You were going to say do you know what we've been through.

Corey:

I feel, yeah, Do you know what we've been through I? You know how like presidents age during their terms. I feel like I've done that over the past two years.

Bethany:

Yeah.

Corey:

Although whatever Donald Trump's doing, that dude doesn't seem like he is aged. You know, every other president looks like they got like 10 years older in four years.

Bethany:

I think he looks older.

Corey:

I mean it has been like 12 years. But 12 years. Wait, has it? No, it hasn't. It's been eight years, but he only did one term. Like he doesn't look, he doesn't, he didn't age the way that all the other ones seem to age, like their hair gets so gray.

Bethany:

yeah, okay, so anyway, we're going to talk about money first, so we still end up moving on that was basically for wait. So was this february already? So at the end of january is when we gave the total right. So this is our first update, yikes guys.

Corey:

So have some grace I shouldn't have bought that. I shouldn't have bought that. I shouldn't have bought that, shouldn't have amazon that?

Bethany:

oh man, we need some beats I shouldn't have bought that we could do a little rap while we're making our own, make our own noises ready. I shouldn't have bought that Panda Express. I shouldn't have bought that Amazon.

Corey:

I shouldn't have bought that.

Bethany:

Is that?

Corey:

all you got yeah.

Bethany:

I'm not a good rapper. Sorry, that was a big fail. Anyway, where do we even begin this? You know we start stuttering when it comes to this. I guess what we'll say is for the first month, we't really. We said like we have the financial strategy, but a lot of times, when people go into this which this is something with our personalities we have a tendency to do, which we didn't do this time and we were like a lot of people might, when they're getting on this debt journey, be like we're not eating out, we're not.

Bethany:

I don't know like what other cuts people make, like we're getting rid of Netflix and Prime, which we did do some of those things, but we were much less extreme than we normally would be Eating ramen noodles, yeah, yeah, and I don't know. I think there's pros and cons to that. I think the pros are that it's like more of like a longevity thing. You know, almost like when you're on like a super, super restrictive diet and then you just want to go off the rails where we have five kids and we still need to sometimes. Sometimes it's just realistic, not realistic, like we have to order dinner or I don't know. I feel like, if you try to do, too many things.

Corey:

I don't know about being restrictive as much as it is about, yeah, trying to do too many things all at once yeah without really. I think you can do more things if there's a way to like almost have like a daily or weekly accountability to do it.

Bethany:

But for something like this. It's hard to do that and yeah, how chaotic our lives are. It was like okay, first, let's just decide that this is the year we're getting this back in order Done.

Corey:

Second, let's come up with We'll see in 2030, when we do it all again.

Bethany:

The first step is admitting you have a problem. So we did that. The second thing is like all right, let's look at the bad issues. Like let's look at our finances and tally up the numbers and get real with ourselves done, we did that let's quit hiding it and then three. It's like let's be, let's get to start tackling this and be more conscious, conscientious, and that's kind of what this month was, I would say for this next month. We've gotten to a good flow there, and so I will say that we've.

Corey:

We have had, like, some hangover habits that helped us too, and we're gonna.

Bethany:

We'll talk about some of this.

Corey:

Go ahead, we could do it now some of the habits that we've done so one because I was. We were talking about this before you mean because we previously have gotten out of debt.

Bethany:

So we've had we have some habits that have we, that were helpful, that we didn't have to start from no, from scratch gotcha you know what I mean.

Corey:

Like we have a monthly budget right, like I. I think there are times when, when, sometimes, when you build habits, yeah that and and you've, they've stuck, like you take them for granted. You know what I mean. So, like when we were we were preparing for the podcast, it was like, well, let's think about some of the things that we have already been doing. That you know, maybe we didn't want to mention because it's not like new to the listeners, but we haven't talked about this in what? Three years, four years?

Bethany:

Yeah.

Corey:

So, just as a refresher and a reminder, I think that we took for granted that we already were doing some things that maybe some people aren't doing.

Bethany:

Yeah, like the first time we did it the first time around, we were like really down to the basics and we shared like every detail of the structures of our bank accounts, what bank accounts we used. We made up a debt sheet that people could download and use, and so, yeah, yeah, like we created systems then.

Corey:

Yeah, so we're still using, even though we got into more debt, where the systems are still there for us to go Right, so that we're not just starting from nowhere.

Bethany:

Right, like we use, we still use our debt sheet now.

Corey:

Yeah, we just just some line items to this budget sheet, but yeah, so we have an Excel sheet for a budget sheet that we follow and use every month and it's still basically the exact same thing that we used years ago and it's very similar to the one that we had put out there for people to download, and some people used it, so we have that. The other thing is that we do have two bank accounts.

Bethany:

Yeah, this was a game changer for us doing this.

Corey:

Yeah, and I'll just hit on this, we talked about it a long time ago but it was by accident that we kind of did it, because we had a PNC bank account when we lived in Ohio and when we moved to California there were no PNC banks out there because it's regional, and so we got a Chase Bank account. But we decided to keep our PNC bank account because it had a virtual wallet feature which, whatever, if you want to look into that, you can look into that. It's a nice feature to have that I haven't seen other banks have.

Bethany:

Yeah, but it's really the only, the main reason we've stayed with PNC as long as we have, yeah.

Bethany:

Yeah, because we've stayed with PNC as long as we have. Yeah, yeah, because basically the best part about virtual wallet is for me. Everybody might have a different opinion, but if you have the virtual wallet, you have a savings account and you can categorize in that savings account. So let's say you have like 20 grand in your savings account. You can go within that savings account and make different categories. I don't know any other savings account that does that? So we have a pull section because we're going to do our pull this year.

Corey:

We have like a vacation section, we have a tide section, sections for the kid, yeah, stuff like that, and that's all within one Christmas budget in there. Yeah, yeah, so that's nice. So we have the checking and the savings with PNC and then we have the checking and the savings with Chase. But the nice thing is is utilizing the checking so with Chase and Bethany does all this, but we put the amount that we need for everything that's on auto payment, so mortgages, credit card payments, utilities, all that stuff comes out of the Chase account. So we know like that number is going to stay the same, so we can put that amount in there.

Bethany:

So this isn't the actual number but, for example, like you could tally up all of your monthly expenditures, the automatic, like not automatic, but the ones that you just mentioned, and let's say it's like $6,000.

Bethany:

So we would then say, all right, we need to put in like $6,500 by the first of the month. Yeah, so that really it can kind of run on autopilot and it can pool, pool, pool from that account and then your paychecks are getting deposited in there throughout the month so that by the end of the next month the hope is, the goal should be that you have at a minimum again $6,500. Yeah, and then anything extra than that would go towards debt.

Corey:

If you have debt or savings or investing towards debt, if you have debt or savings or investing, and then the pnc checking account is where we put our monthly like spending budget, so and so that includes gas, groceries and spend so, like, if the kids need shoes for basketball, if we're going to the movies, yep, just rent like something from amazon.

Bethany:

If they need school supplies, we just say, all right, based on our previous monthly expenses, this is what we feel is a reasonable number. We're starting the month with this amount of money. Once that money is gone, like we're done spending for the month, that's it. Now we've had that's recently. You want to talk on that?

Corey:

So we want to go into like one of our goals then, yeah, for the month, so one of just. We've felt like keeping it simple this month and so I think it's important to set little goals. It's kind of like, if you're you're walking like we talked about this when I was walking it's like I got to walk, I got to go touch this one uh light pole when I do a lap, so it's kind of like one of those. It's like let's set these little goals that we can achieve during the month to kind of set a pace. So, um, but one of the issues that we've had in previous months is that we would go, let's say that you put your monthly spend in, I'm just going to make, let's say it's a thousand dollars, and you get to week three and you've got $20 left. We were adding more money into it because we were like, oh well, we got another week to go and we want to go take the kids out to eat or go to the movies or something.

Bethany:

And like some months there's like, oh crap, we didn't budget for this in our savings and we want to go take the kids out to eat or go to the movies or something. And like some months there's like, oh crap, we didn't budget for this in our savings and we desperately need tires.

Corey:

There's exceptions.

Bethany:

But like we were, we would just be like oh yeah, we're eating dinner out three nights a week because I failed to plan on Sundays what we were having for dinner and then we overspent and it's like no, just get your act together, yeah spent and it's like no, just get your act together.

Corey:

Yeah, so that's one of our goals. So one of our goals this month is we're not adding any money into the monthly spend budget yeah, so tying into that.

Bethany:

The second goal would be, now that we kind of have a good flow with this, we are really honing in on takeout because for us it's not even well, it's not that we're even eating bad, it's that when we do takeout we'll get like Chipotle because we're still trying to eat good and then that's even more expensive. So like for our family to eat out, it's 60 to $70.

Corey:

Or we'll get wings For a meal. Yeah, something yeah.

Bethany:

And it's really expensive, so so it kind of ties into that first point of on Sundays or on Saturdays. I do have Walmart Plus, which I think for me is worth the investment. It's like $50 or $100 for the year. They deliver groceries to your house. It saves me hours and hours of time and headaches because then I don't have to take little kids to the store, and I think time is money and we get that time back spending it with family. So on Saturdays I get up in the morning and I think about what meals we want to have for the week and order the groceries. Then by Saturday evening the groceries are delivered and then by Sunday I'm like just organizing things and prepping meals. This is something I know to do. I've done previously and I've been really, really bad at it in this season of life because we're going a thousand miles an hour.

Corey:

And we just didn't prioritize planning it. Yeah, like we're just reactive and it was convenient to eat out, so yeah.

Bethany:

And like also the going a thousand miles an hour, like I've just, we've talked about this, but like I've just really realized that this just has to stop because it's it does. It's not good for my health, it's not good for our family, it's not good for our finances, because when you're going a thousand miles an hour, you're you're purchasing convenience and it's just yeah.

Corey:

So yeah, and that convenience is usually not the healthiest foods. And then you're also not in a great mental state.

Bethany:

Right, and then also like thinking about again the heart of the podcast a force to be reckoned with. We want to build a community of families who are living out their God-given purpose and raising up the next generation. To be a force to be reckoned with. And, as a mom, like it's OK to be busy but I'm also teaching my kids how to operate a family, and so if we're eating out four nights a week and I'm going have leaving no room for margin, this is like a whole other episode that we can dive into later. And screwing around and not being intentional with time, money, resources, then that's not. That's defeating the purpose of our podcast, like of our whole lives, not even just the podcast.

Corey:

Like that's the opposite of what we want to do. Yeah, I just saw a quote and it was that it was the that the devil waited until it was the end of Jesus's 40 days, when Jesus was fasting and he went out into the wilderness and he was tired and hungry and exhausted. So he waited until he was tired and hungry to start trying to tempt him. And it was just a reminder that he will do the same thing to you. So try to tempt you and pull you away when you're tired and hungry too. So that just goes into that. Yeah, but all right, do we want to hit the where the totals at?

Bethany:

Yeah. So basically the main points, just to reiterate, were if you guys have questions about the checking accounts this is the hard thing about podcasting Like there's not a ton of room for dialogue like there is for social media. I'm trying to be more active on social media but it's just I don't know hit or miss for me. So feel free, the my social media is linked in our show notes so you can always message me on there if you don't see it. If I don't respond right away, message me again because I've noticed I get, I will get, a lot of messages for the podcast and you haven't messaged me before. It's like stuck in my requests and I miss them for a couple months. So if you have questions about, like, the checking account or you're curious about our Like how we structure our budget slip, we could talk about maybe making a PDF like that, like we did before. We did that for free.

Corey:

Yeah. And is my social media in there?

Bethany:

We can put it in there.

Corey:

Don't you ever message me? Just kidding yeah.

Bethany:

So the checking accounts of just like having one checking account be your monthly expenditures and the other one be your spendings and not going over that, it's just been a game changer for us. And then our goals are not eating out and not going over that. It's just been a game changer for us. And then our goals are not eating out and not going over our spend. So into the debt, yeah, so something I didn't mention last time that we did this episode is like okay, how many lines of credit is this debt? So this is our consumer debt. Last time was $91,978 and 18 cents which we have accrued over. The last was it five years, basically four years because we got.

Corey:

We didn't have this when we were doing the podcast last time.

Bethany:

And we, if you want to know, like, oh gosh, you guys just like, how did you do this? Listen to the previous money and marriage episode last month. But the for lines of credit in there we have a car loan and then six credit cards. Yeah, but this is the thing. This isn't the message thing. But speaking of messages, I did get several people. Maybe I should do like a advice episode.

Bethany:

I'm gonna do this because not from us I was gonna say people listen to the money and marriage episodes and we're sending me and you really cool like hacks or tips. And then lisa was sending me, um, some ideas like stuff about Amazon. Somebody sent me, my brother sent me some stuff. And then another one was yeah, anyway, there's a balance transfer. The credit cards that have zero. It doesn't cost any money to transfer your balance and then they have 0% interest for like 18 months.

Corey:

So where do they find these?

Bethany:

Yeah, I know, but we need to look into that. Yeah, so we'll talk about that later. Sorry, I'm all over the place. But yeah, all that to say, we have a car loan and then six credit cards, and if you want to hear about like, the credit card stuff and how we accrued all of that, listen to the previous episode. But how do you think it went this month?

Corey:

Well, I think you already told me, so I can't fake it.

Bethany:

Oh, but you were surprised.

Corey:

I was surprised.

Bethany:

So how did you feel like it went this month?

Corey:

Before or after you told me.

Bethany:

Before.

Corey:

I was not I don't know. Yeah, I was a I don't know. Yeah, I was a little worried, I was a little puckered Like what was puckered?

Bethany:

Clunching up.

Corey:

I was waiting on the edge of my seat for you to tell me I was like oh, we traveled, we went to Costa Rica, costa Rica, we did enjoy ourselves there, we went on a couple excursions.

Bethany:

We got those $40 beach massages and it's been a busy season Best $40 beach massage I've ever had. Yeah.

Corey:

It's the only $40 beach massage I've ever had.

Bethany:

But we were intentional. Oh, take me back. We were intentional with our game plan, and so this month we're at $88,867.54.

Corey:

Yeah, thank you, take a bow, thank you.

Bethany:

Thank you, thank you over there. Thank you, Lord.

Corey:

Really yeah, seriously.

Bethany:

So we got out of $3,110.64. That's a pretty good month. It is a good month. You did have a bonus rollover from 2024. So that was helpful.

Corey:

Are you saying that to put a little pressure on me?

Bethany:

Well, pressure and also we just don't know what next month will hold and hopefully it'll be good. But I was honestly pleasantly surprised about this too, because we we just had a lot going on and going out and like sports for kids and traveling, but I think and also eating out like there's the good thing is, we made progress and there's also still so much room to improve.

Corey:

Oh yeah.

Bethany:

And so that is something I'm learning with the health stuff, with the money stuff is like just take baby steps to start and then get the momentum and then start like tightening up even more. And so we took the action.

Corey:

Doing something is better than doing nothing.

Bethany:

Right, because if we didn't make this game plan at the beginning of the year and we were just like, ah, forget it, we're already in debt and let's just keep, because we we have lots of like our credit cards are not maxed out, we have a lot of lines of credit that we could still use, like it could have been easy to just be like, yeah, we're not, we're just going to keep living like this that we could still use Like it could have been easy to just be like yeah we're not.

Bethany:

We're just going to keep living like this. But we got it. It's got a little more on there, it's got to end. So yeah, down thirty one hundred dollars this month. That's awesome. Yeah, what's going to happen with If we get a tax refund?

Corey:

Oh, come on, elon, it's not a refund. Well, I guess it is. It's refunding our money back to us.

Bethany:

So, all that to say, there were moments where did I want to buy a sauna for our basement?

Corey:

Yeah, you wouldn't let me get the like $300 sauna. You want like the hardwood one?

Bethany:

There were moments where it was so cold and I saw a broken hot tub on the back deck and I thought do I want to buy a new hot tub right now? For five years, same as cash.

Corey:

No.

Bethany:

Yes, I do, but we're on this journey and failure is not an option.

Corey:

That's like saying hey, it's nine o'clock at night, all the kids are in bed, and do I want to eat this whole pack of Oreos?

Bethany:

Yeah, that's the thing. The thing is, failure is not an option. So the answer even though you want to do these things and you could do these things, we're not going to Just say no.

Bethany:

Yeah. So last thing on this the reason I said the lines of credit is because we are still working, we're doing the debt snowball. So the goal is hopefully in the next couple months we have that first line of credit completely paid off and then we will take that payment and apply it to the next lowest payment and then that makes the debt snowball get really big.

Corey:

Roll it up and we're trying to build that snowman.

Bethany:

Yeah, okay. Is there anything you want to say about marriage this month?

Corey:

Failure is not an option there either, even though sometimes Hold on. Sometimes Hold on, I do got something I want to say. Hold on you ready. This is what I got to say, wow.

Bethany:

Is that because you're going out of town this week and you're going to miss me?

Corey:

Sure, sure, sure All right?

Bethany:

Well, go ahead, you can follow Help.

Corey:

No. I'm just kidding, I'm kidding.

Bethany:

He's not kidding you guys. Kind of Failure is not an option. Somebody please help me.

Corey:

No, I'm just kidding kind of mostly. Um, no, I I will say like I would just dive in right into. It is and I I don't remember exactly what we talked about when we recorded when we were in costa rica. Have you noticed that sometimes my mouth doesn't want to move the way it should and my words sound a little mumbled lately? Have you noticed that I almost feel like my cheeks are locking?

Bethany:

up.

Corey:

You haven't noticed that, like when I was reading to the kids earlier, I had to repeat stuff? You haven't noticed? Oh, thank goodness I'm the only one that's catching it. I feel like I'm starting to say words, but my mouth doesn't want to make the full movement.

Bethany:

No, I didn't notice.

Corey:

Maybe that Is that why singers go like this, like unique New York, unique New York To stretch out their jaws. Um, anyways, when we did the trip to Costa Rica, we didn't intend for this, but it's very casual, so we just kind of like were able to do whatever we wanted to do as a couple and hang out together in the room or go to lunch together, and so, for me, like I didn't even think about this until, like I don't know, maybe part of the way through the trip and definitely towards the end, and then when we got home, just the importance of us spending time together, just the two of us, without having our works hanging over our heads Not that they hang, but we had no other distractions we got to truly rest.

Bethany:

Right, when we get off this podcast, we're going to have five kids to take care of meals, to prep for the week dinner, to make laundry, to fold.

Corey:

Yeah, we didn't have any kids we didn't have to worry about taking care of any kids. We didn't have to worry about anything else. It was just we got to hang out Like our biggest worry is like, hey, where?

Bethany:

do you want to go? What's your encouragement? What do you want to go? Eat right now.

Corey:

Tell people to take debt. But. But I mean, but start next month. Like and I know people know this and there's a lot of people talk about this stuff all the time but like, prioritize doing something with your spouse, like whether it's a date night, even if all you can do is a monthly date night or a quarterly date night.

Bethany:

Like, do a date night well, and some people are really good at like every thursday we go out on dates or every month, and we're not good at that. It's just not the nature of our lives. But I will say we have gotten better about like we can feel it and we need it.

Corey:

I feel like doing that weekly for us right now isn't feasible. It's not realistic, the amount of kids we have and everything.

Bethany:

So if you're not in, a season of life where you can do it routinely. That that's fine. I mean, try to get on the calendar, we don't. But we can feel it in our marriage when it's like, okay, we like I'm a quality time person, we need it. Like we're at each other's throats and the answer is always that we just need to spend time together.

Corey:

Yeah, and I'm a physical touch person and there's just the two of us. There's some physical contact.

Bethany:

Excuse me me yeah.

Corey:

So, but I will say if you can do weekly, then cool, do it. If you can do monthly, do it. If you can do quarterly, do it. But, like I would say, at least like once a year, like do a trip, even if it's just a weekend trip. Yeah, just the two of you, it's. I think it was really. It was really good for us coming back.

Bethany:

Now I have two kids on my lap during this podcast recording. And this is just the nature of our show and our lives. We are just going to be as real as we can, because that's the only way we know how to be. And, yeah, this is a family podcast.

Corey:

You want to say hi.

Bethany:

You want to say hi? Come on, say hi.

Corey:

You're just waking up, waking Up blues.

Bethany:

Say hi, don't want to hear your sweet little voice, anyway, but I think, yeah, I think the trip was really good and so just if you are married out there, engage like, just find time to spend with your spouse, intentionality, take the trip. If you're like waffling on if you should take a trip or not, I think you should. It's, it's an investment and that's how even family vacation we view family vacations. Now it's like, do we want to spend the money? No, but it's a family investment, it's an investment in our kids. And if you do it from the right like brain, like you don't from the right like brain, Like you don't get the time back.

Bethany:

Yeah, you're not going to get that time back, so anyway, failure is not an option in the marriage category either, and there are times when I'm just waiting for you're going to say Corey wants me to talk about. For him, it's this big revelation.

Corey:

It's not a big revelation.

Bethany:

But I don't even know how to talk about this Like this past week was really bad.

Corey:

Just speaking of consistency and things that happen on a regular basis. There are things that take place every month.

Bethany:

And husbands get a tracker. Okay, because you might be married to one woman, but actually you're married to four.

Corey:

I mean, I hope that you're married to one woman.

Bethany:

Yeah, but you're actually married to four and, honestly, all I'm going to say is that there's one particular week out of the month and I've just come to the conclusion that I cannot make any big decisions during that week, and I think that's really good advice.

Corey:

Yeah, I've never heard this before.

Bethany:

The luteal phase yeah.

Corey:

Are there phases for all these things? There's four phases, okay, do you remember the other ones?

Bethany:

Yes, and I'm not going to get into them right now because this is not going to become a podcast about that.

Corey:

I kind not going to get into them right now because this is not going to become a podcast about that. I kind of want to learn.

Bethany:

But what's your point in wanting to share this?

Corey:

I know I'm a little bit tongue-in-cheek and laughing, but for me it was actually helpful because—.

Bethany:

Because for 13 years we've been married and you're so dumb, wow.

Corey:

See guys, this is—. You still haven't caught on this is what I'm dealing with every month when I say we're breaking up. I'm just trying to figure out like one, like there's one week where she's like so in love with me and infatuated, and actually there's probably about two weeks, I feel like that. That is.

Corey:

There's one that's probably a little more, and then there's one that's still good, and then there's another week where, like, emotions are kind of bouncing around and then there's another week where, like you, just want to rip my head off and but like in a on a serious note with that, my point is is me being a poor guy me. Being aware that you're going through that, lets me know like. It's not. I didn't do anything, it's not your fault, it's really nobody's fault there's no. We've been married for 13 years this week.

Bethany:

How many times have I had this conversation with you?

Corey:

I don't know, apparently not enough. There's no solution to this, so I need to react differently and look to whether it's I need to give you more grace. So, for all the dudes out there, if you're like, yeah, idiot, I've known this for a long time, my bad for the dudes out there that are like me that didn't think about this stuff or know it, like Now you do. Yeah, it's crazy.

Bethany:

It is so cool how God made men and women and like men. For men, this hormonal cycle is 24 hour period and for women it's 28 days.

Corey:

Wait. So I act like you act for a week, for like an hour.

Bethany:

Like how your hormone, how my hormones, fluctuate in a 28 day cycle, yours fluctuate in a 24 hour period. So interesting yeah, well, that got weird, that got really weird. But um, I'm glad we're back hey, it's money and marriage guys yeah, all right. Well, that's pretty much it. So, for money and marriage, uh, we're gonna keep trucking along, and failure is not an option.

Corey:

Failure is not an option.

Bethany:

So we'll be back. We'll be back next month. Oh, that's one more thing I wanted to touch on. That was the other messaging thing. I would love it if you guys would either. So my email will be in the show notes too. If you're not on Instagram, email me. So the way we've been doing this flow of things of like a topic for the month and all that like it's great, but it's I mean, it's putting me in a mental, mentally creative block, because I have all these episode ideas and then I'm trying to figure out how to fit them into these topics.

Corey:

So I'm thinking about already Flowing the whole thing up these topics. So I'm thinking about already Flowing the whole thing up. Two and a half months in.

Bethany:

This isn't the luteal phase. No, this is a real decision, a real decision. So, unless I hear otherwise, like people are messaging and saying, no, I love the themes, I love the topics and I love the flow of it, keep it. Unless it's like an adamant yeah, then I'm going to probably change it back to like our normal randomness of we'll still do money and marriage every month and a life to update, but the other two they could be, you just never know.

Bethany:

So would love to hear from you and would love for you to share the show with a friend. And there's kids yelling our names.

Corey:

Yep being asked to wipe a butt. Gotta go, stay classy you.