A Force To Be Reckoned With
A Force To Be Reckoned With
234. Summer’s Coming- Will Your Kids Want to Be Around? 5 Practical Ways to Prep Your House for Hosting Kids
Ever feel that tug-of-war between wanting to open your home and also just wanting a quiet, clean space? Us too.
Summer has this way of stirring things up — kids are out of school, the backyard suddenly becomes the neighborhood hotspot, and somehow your house turns into the unofficial sleepover headquarters. So how do we prepare our homes and hearts for hospitality?
In this episode, we’re taking an honest look at the mess and the ministry of hospitality. We’re sharing five simple things that have helped us over the years — things like keeping popsicles and extra toothbrushes on hand, teaching our kids to help make the home feel welcoming, and how setting boundaries actually makes our house more of a place kids want to be.
But we’re also talking about the why behind it all — because creating a safe, fun, loving space for kids to hang out? That’s more than just being the ‘cool house’. That’s kingdom work. And bonus: you know exactly who your kids are with and what they’re doing when they’re right under your roof.
You don’t need to have it all together to be the house where kids feel welcome. This episode is full of practical ideas and gentle encouragement to help you open your home with purpose and peace.
Let’s do this together — hit play and let’s chat about what it really looks like to open your doors and your heart this summer.
Episode Highlights:
- 5 Practical Ways to Prep Your House for Hosting Kids
- Think about your household goals.
- What example are you setting?
Links Mentioned in Episode/Find More on A Force to Be Reckoned With:
- Jointheforce.us
- Follow Bethany on Instagram @bethanyadkins
- Follow Corey on Instagram @mrcoreyadkins
- Find us on Youtube!
- Email Bethany at bethany@adkinsmedia.co
This show has been produced by Adkins Media Co.
We are at war and it's not against our neighbors, spouses, children, politicians or whatever else we feel like we're battling against.
Speaker 2:So the questions are who's the fight against, and are we winning or losing? We're the Adkins, and we are a force to be reckoned with. Are you ready to?
Speaker 1:do the welcome I'm just trying to reach our bilingual audience out there, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, how was your day?
Speaker 1:Busy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was. It's a Sunday, so prepping for the week, first day of the week, prepping for the week we usually do our Sabbath kind of Saturday. So yeah. Anything you want to say.
Speaker 1:No, I was just caught off guard by the date.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 1:And I just realized that it's May 4th.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:May the 4th be with you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like a Star Wars holiday for people with lisps.
Speaker 2:Speaking of Star Wars, I've never watched all of it. What?
Speaker 1:Did you hear what I said?
Speaker 2:Yeah, go ahead, dude, say the holiday again. I've never watched all of it. What Did?
Speaker 1:you hear what I said? Yeah, go ahead, do this, say the holiday again.
Speaker 2:May the 4th, I get it. It's a lisp.
Speaker 1:It's like a holiday. It's like a Star Wars holiday for people with lisps. Come on man.
Speaker 2:No, I was. I've never watched. I think I watched the original. No, I was. I've never watched. I think I watched the original one when I was a kid, because I was. I think I was so little I can hardly even remember it.
Speaker 1:But other than that I've not watched one movie. I'm not a Star Wars person, but the other day, I watched part of one because it came for free With a TV that we won. We entered in this drawing at KFC when I was a kid, please tell me. We won a TV. It was one of those box TVs with the VCR built in and it came with whatever the new, what did you guys do to win it?
Speaker 2:I?
Speaker 1:don't know, we bought some chicken and then you throw your name in a thing. I don't know.
Speaker 2:I was like in middle school okay, so the TV was in my room, I don't know we bought some chicken.
Speaker 1:Then you throw your name in the thing I don't know.
Speaker 2:I was like in middle school, ok, so the TV was in my room.
Speaker 1:Was it at that time? Was it nice, or was it like oh yeah, I mean it was nice it wasn't your main TV. It was nice for people that, like, were born in trailer parks and then grew up on food stamps.
Speaker 2:No, but I mean like OK for your, was it like? This is our living room TV.
Speaker 1:Oh, no, no, no, no, it was like it went in my room, okay, oh, I was sharing a room with my brother, I think at the time.
Speaker 2:And Star Wars was preloaded. This was our main TV, though in our room Not preloaded. You said it came for free.
Speaker 1:We had got a VHS.
Speaker 2:Okay, not a cassette A.
Speaker 1:VHS. Yeah, the cloud didn't exist Preloaded.
Speaker 3:I don't know what I was thinking I don't know yeah.
Speaker 1:That's funny. Yeah, lots of good adventures.
Speaker 2:Was it the full?
Speaker 1:movie it had? Have you ever? Yeah, it was the full movie, but I only watched part of it. I was like it sucks, I'm not watching this.
Speaker 2:Well, okay. So anyway, I was in the kitchen and then Maya was in the TV room and turned something on. She said mom, is this scary? And I look and she's like part of the way through Star Wars, like that is so random.
Speaker 1:It probably didn't help that my first introduction to Star Wars was whatever like the newest one was at the time that came out in oh, so it was like in the middle of the storyline. No, it's the one, yeah well, it's the one that everybody's like, oh, this is terrible, this, these, these, this redo sucks. And that was the one that I watched like part of it and I was like, yeah, this sucks, I'm not watching star wars I think I mean, I do remember Princess Leia, so she was really pretty.
Speaker 1:Yeah, this was back when, like we didn't have cable and I would take, you know, the little twisty ties that go that were like on your bread. And there's the plastic, but there's, like metal, inside of it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, stick it in your antenna.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, so I would melt the plastic off with a lighter, stick the little wire in the back where, like the antenna thing would stick in, and I'd wrap it around a metal coat hanger and then hang it up, and then I could get you know like five or eight channels.
Speaker 2:Hang it up on what.
Speaker 1:Well, in my room my TV was technically sitting in my closet because my room was smaller than the room we're in right now.
Speaker 2:Well, this is in a trailer, right.
Speaker 1:No, no, no. Oh, this was the house on the hill.
Speaker 2:Okay, the house on the hill that.
Speaker 1:Is demolished. Okay, yeah.
Speaker 2:The one that we walked through Well.
Speaker 1:I mean, I guess technically you could say that that was a trailer. It was two of them put together, but anyways, yeah, my TV stand was sitting in a closet.
Speaker 2:You say that so nonchalantly.
Speaker 1:So there was this metal bar for my closet to hang my clothes on, and I would take it up and wrap it around.
Speaker 2:that that's crazy.
Speaker 1:That reminds me what have. I not talked about the double wide.
Speaker 2:I don't know. I mean I've heard you talk about it. I don't know if it's been talked about on the podcast, but I do remember walking through that house with you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so the house I grew up in from like fourth, halfway through fourth grade up until I was maybe a what are?
Speaker 2:you doing? Just playing this in the background while you talk about your house like a?
Speaker 1:like a senior was there was a basement and then the house that we bought it was two trailers sitting on top of this basement with railroad ties as the support, and then the dude built a roof that you would have on a house on top of the two trailers and then they were joined together. When we first moved into the house, to get from the living room to the kitchen, was a sliding glass door Like you would go outside with.
Speaker 2:So you did your homework and you learned to play guitar.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I didn't. No, we didn't. We couldn't get a guitar.
Speaker 2:Can you hear this song?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I can hear it.
Speaker 2:Are you crying right now, talking about your house?
Speaker 1:Why would I be crying? I'm not crying.
Speaker 2:Okay, hold on here, stop talking. I'm not crying. Okay, hold on here, stop talking, just making you sad thinking about your house.
Speaker 1:No, I'm just like I don't think about this stuff and I'm just like, bro, I have my TV in the closet.
Speaker 2:Okay, all right, enough of that, anyway. Well, thank you for of that, anyway, well, thank you for sharing that Very, very.
Speaker 1:My room was basically a closet.
Speaker 2:Had to be very hard for you to share.
Speaker 1:Okay, With that said this week we're going to talk about hosting other people's kids in your house, bring them all down to the trailer park, Leroy.
Speaker 2:Seriously, though, I couldn't come up with a good title for this. Why did we even get into that? We're 10 minutes into this episode.
Speaker 1:We started with Star Wars, we went down to one in a TV at the KFC.
Speaker 2:Okay, the house that built you. Okay, I couldn't figure out like a good, good title, but it's like is your house ready for summer? So last week we shared an episode that it was cool to listen to again. It had really practical points. It was an old interview that we did and it was when we lived, lived in the apartment, and I in that episode said to her like I'm using like the fact that we live in an apartment as an excuse to not host and I just keep saying, like when we get a house, when we get a house, and people still came and visited us in that tiny little apartment.
Speaker 1:I know know.
Speaker 2:I know, but also we have a house now.
Speaker 1:And no one comes and visits us now.
Speaker 2:Right, no, but we don't host as much as like. I feel like the issues that I had when we had that interview, like the struggles with it I still struggle with the same things and I think a lot of people struggle with it goals with it I still struggle with the same things and I think a lot of people struggle with it it's just like well, our house isn't like really that good to host in the winter. It's too small or it's whatever. Just all these dumb things where it's like actually no, it's not, it's perfectly fine and it's a fun house. But that was just a little takeaway when I was listening to that episode. Again, like three or four years removed, it's like, even though we have a bigger house and we have, you know, a yard and and it's fully you mean bigger than the apartment.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it's fully, yeah, bigger.
Speaker 1:You know, we got a bigger house.
Speaker 2:It's a pretty, it's a pretty big here, no, just bigger than the apartment. Sounds like a trucker Break it, break it one-armed, but I still you know it's just, you just gotta let loose. You know you gotta let your walls down and let the people in. That's all I have to say about it. But today we're gonna talk about getting your house ready for summer.
Speaker 1:Summer, summer, summer Because in.
Speaker 2:What I mean with that is summer's coming. Will your kids be around? Five practical ways to prep your house. Is more summer house.
Speaker 1:There's more sleepovers happening.
Speaker 2:Then there's kids here swimming.
Speaker 1:Our outdoor space is better. It's better than indoor space.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I was just thinking like, oh, I'm so excited that's going to come, and just thinking about like accommodating the kids, friends and all of that, and I feel like this is something my parents were really, really good at. We talked about this when we interviewed them, a couple of the point where, like, I couldn't do it to the degree that they did it Like I'm more introverted and I need, I need, like downtime but they were so good at being hospitable towards kids and so that has inspired this episode, because it's something that they did really well and if I could even be like like 60 of how good that they were, it would be really good. And I also feel like it's not I don't know, it's just different these days, but what were you gonna say?
Speaker 1:what do you mean?
Speaker 2:I don't know, maybe just I just got. I just have beer goggles on for the 90s and early 2000s you feel like people don't, like I do, and I don't as much as they used to I do and I don't. I guess, like, if I think about our kids, friends, parents we have a really good um like network of parents where we all have good relationships. We all know each other's kids. I think that's really important and it's super valuable and they're so like gracious and letting our kids come over and their kids come here.
Speaker 1:So I don't know, maybe it isn't yeah, I, I mean the one thing I would say that probably feels different, but it's probably different depending on like your neighborhood too, at times I think. But, um, before we lived in the double wide the but before we lived in the double wide the original the OG double wide we lived in a neighborhood and, like us kids would just run around the neighborhood and we would go to like each other's houses and stuff. Yeah, but we had we would make friends with other kids in the neighborhood.
Speaker 2:I feel like which is so yeah.
Speaker 1:It's, that's a little bit less.
Speaker 2:Well, we don't live in like a very kid heavy neighborhood, like there are neighborhoods in Lake that do do that, which is so funny because we had situations like that too. Yeah, but we also connected with some of our neighbors a little bit more and then reflecting yeah, but they're not going to go over to like an older person's house.
Speaker 1:Oh no, you know the elderly. Yeah, Like yeah. But, Borderline nursing home.
Speaker 2:I'm sitting here saying, yeah, it's different. Like you know, when I was a kid, like we would just go pop in people's houses and go to door to door, and I'm like what's different about it Me? I'm like, no, I don't want them here.
Speaker 1:You don't say that. I don't know I don't say that I don't know.
Speaker 2:I don't know. I feel like I guess it's not just me. I just feel like as an adult, you get a different perspective where it's like when you're a kid, it's like, yeah, of course I can come and go and go dinner at their house and do this stuff. And then as an adult. It's like. Who's this kid for?
Speaker 2:refrigerator, like we were just at our friend's house last night and just like I don't know, just thinking about because liberty ended up spending the night, yeah, and just thinking about like I feel so bad for the parents because this is the complete opposite of what this episode's about, but anyway, okay, that's just me totally digressing and doesn't even fit. So it's actually a complete contradiction. So I just came up with a battle.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it is an inner battle and that's the point of this episode. But when I think about summer, I want we've said this before like I want our house to be fun. I want kids to feel welcome here, I want our family to seem welcoming to other people and, like I said, thankfully we have, you know, our kids friends. Parents are so good at this Like I feel like we have a good network of parents, so I'm not. This isn't in response to anything in our lives other than stuff that I think is valuable and practical.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and it's biblical.
Speaker 2:It is biblical. Where does it um like yeah, first peter 4, 8 show hospitality to one another without grumbling it? That verse right there emphasizes the importance. It just talks about the importance of serving others with a gracious and generous spirit and not being begrudging about it, which is what I. I mean.
Speaker 1:It's an yeah it's an inner battle, yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay. So right into this, five things Okay, and not in any particular order, but kind of more practical first. First stock the fridge.
Speaker 2:I think, this is a good one. And also it's like I, this can be tough because food is expensive and you don't want people just coming in your house and eating your groceries. That's totally understandable. So when I say stock the fridge, I'm not meaning like, get 30 percent or 40 percent or whatever extra groceries of the normal groceries that you get. This is what I mean. Like we have an outside fridge that we really specifically have for this time of year. The rest of the year it's kind of empty, other than leftovers.
Speaker 2:This is something I learned from my mom Cause, like I said, we would have kids coming and going. You want to be able to, not every night, you want to have boundaries and figure out what's good for you and your family, but like you want to be able, at the drop of a hat, to say, yeah, stay for dinner. Like absolutely, we swam longer than we should. You know what? We'll just cook hot dogs on fire. So this is what I mean by stock the fridge. Have hot dogs in there, hot dog buns Like always have those things in there Some popsicles and then Juice boxes, chips. Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:And paper plates, napkin like that, and cheap cups, cheap stuff yeah, that you don't feed all the neighborhood kids and stuff with the food dyes and the processed foods and the seed oils we'll leave that up to rfk junior to get them taken out of our food.
Speaker 2:No, but that having that stock of like. Here's snacks that you guys can have yep, we can have hot dogs for dinner or we can order a pizza. There's popsicles. Here's the paper products, so that we're not having all of these extra dishes, marshmallows and graham crackers just every time you go grocery shopping. Just pick up a box that and then build a little stockpile of it, summer staples yes, summer staples, because there's. You don't want to feel the pressure.
Speaker 1:If you don't have hot dogs, no, you have popsicles, and the goal is that by the end of the summer the kids are sick of hot dogs.
Speaker 2:And hot dogs aren't even that good for you and they're not even that good. But kids love hot dogs.
Speaker 1:I love hot dogs.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's good. I only like them if they're really burnt Ketchup and mustard relish onion.
Speaker 2:Okay, so that's step one. Stock the fridge Two. This is another super practical one, very similar stock the linen closet. And what I mean by this. This is what got me thinking about it, because when I was putting towels away a while ago, I was thinking about okay, I actually need to start looking in this because we're going to have more kids staying and I always have like extra toothbrushes. I have a stack of extra contact cases in there. We have bars of soap. We always have, you know, washcloths and plenty of towels.
Speaker 2:You want stinky kids in your house with no, and then just having sheets, which, for the most part, these are all things that we already have. Yeah, so to add an amazon order of like an extra 10 pack of toothbrushes, just in case. It's just one of those things that it just makes you blankets makes you have blankets, pillows it just makes you more hospitable. And then if a kid ends up staying the night and they're like I don't have my toothbrush or whatever it's like, oh, that's fine, we have an extra one.
Speaker 1:She got you covered. Yeah, yeah, we knew. Yeah, you don't even have a toothbrush at home, buddy.
Speaker 2:But it's really cute. Like this is the stuff that makes my heart what did you say? Said we know you don't even have a toothbrush at home, buddy, we can tell. This is the stuff that makes my heart explode. Is like, by halfway through the summer whatever, you're gonna have kids that have been there enough that their toothbrush has their name on it and they just leave it there on the counter in your kid's bathroom and that is just like. Those are the kind of things that like that I don't know why about that makes me feel like Because you're a mom.
Speaker 2:This is so like they have a toothbrush here, I don't know. So that sounded creepy, did it? Okay, so stock the fridge, stock the linen closet. So that sounded creepy, did it? No, okay, so stock the fridge, stock the linen closet. Three Include your kids on keeping the house ready. So we just had this conversation with our kids today when we were eating one chapter church. Like I would say, what is the biggest deterrent of us having people here is I want it to be clean and orderly and yeah, and not even that, like for kids, I don't really care as much if it is.
Speaker 2:It doesn't have to be pristine, I don't want to feel stressed out by oh, there's people here and now it's going to be a disaster and then I'm going to have to catch up from it. So three is include your kids on keeping the house ready. Do you want to talk on this?
Speaker 1:yeah, I mean all I mean. One of the things I was going to say is, like dude, like our kids are messy so messy it'suriating. It is something that sometimes I feel like we have failed as parents Because, like we're clean.
Speaker 2:Yeah. But these animals Do you remember how OCD I used to be in California Like where your brother when your brother lived with us and he would complain about me all the time because I, like, couldn't have stuff on the counter at all.
Speaker 1:Do you? Remember that yeah. I mean, you're still a little bit like that.
Speaker 2:I mean I am, but it is. My standards have significantly gone down.
Speaker 1:Well, when you've got these animals just dumping stuff everywhere as they walk, I know I know. It's just, yeah, no, it's atrocious, yeah, but yeah, like getting them to, and I mean this is something that we need to do, whether you're hospitable or not, but just picking up after themselves as they go, Like everything has a place.
Speaker 1:Like we have the cubbies that they put their book bags and their coats and their shoes in, Like all that stuff just needs to go in there, Like put your dishes away when you're done with it, Just kind of pick up after yourself as you go. And when you do that, everything just runs smoothly and at the drop of a dime you can make decisions to go somewhere to have people over Right, or let them go stay somewhere.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And then, as parents, you're not left, you know.
Speaker 2:With all this tornado, and that is what often happens.
Speaker 1:And then, honestly, I don't know about you. But then I start to get a little bit of resentment. Yeah. Because of it. It's just like are you kidding me? Now I got to clean all this stuff up. Yeah, and just in full transparency.
Speaker 2:It happened this weekend. Our kids had sleepovers, they were gone. Our week was super chaotic, the house was not kept up, we were left at home cleaning and they were out having fun. And it's like, well, really, we would rather be being able to be the fun parents and go take them to do fun stuff, and they never even would have left in the first place and we would have all just had fun, but instead we had to clean the house.
Speaker 1:No, pardon me, Wish they were a little bit older. Y'all fools stay here and clean this up. We're bouncing Bye.
Speaker 2:No, but that that is so true. And so we just had that conversation with the kids today. Like we ended up having them help us get the house cut up. And then at lunch we were like listen, guys, this is the, you know, this is the rules. All the time you guys have been dropping the ball and summer's about to be coming. So, like you know how you guys like to have last-minute sleepovers and last-minute plans.
Speaker 2:If your responsibilities are not taken care of, then the answer is no.
Speaker 2:But if you guys can keep up with your things, I said I will be way more likely to say yes to having friends over or yes, you going somewhere if your stuff is taken care of. And so there are a couple like staple things that they know that they're supposed to do and do them every single day. And so for them it's their rooms have to be clean, their bathroom has to be clean, so all the dirty laundry picked up, put in the hamper. They each have an animal to feed, so we have a cat and chickens, and then they alternate weeks, so that has to be taken care of before they even ask to do anything and then just clean up your stuff off the main living spaces. So don't leave your book bag by the door, don't leave your shoes, don't throw your book bag and shoes right in front of the cubby. Put it in the cubby, it's you know, and like all of that stuff combined literally would take eight minutes Right, even like if stuff was messy.
Speaker 1:Maybe nine minutes.
Speaker 2:Maybe nine, but it's like it's not that hard. It's not that hard. Why'd you say that?
Speaker 1:I'm laughing, because you just randomly picked eight minutes. I was like, yeah, maybe not. And you were like oh, yeah, maybe not, he's right, could take nine.
Speaker 2:So that's what you mean by include your kids on keeping the house ready. Like if we keep things in good shape, we'll be more likely to say yes to friends and so that's their incentive. Like we're not paying them to do these things, but we are like they're getting more privileges if they're kept up. Then the next one is know your roles and stick to them. So before we get into this one, the first thing I want to say is be hospitable. Like welcome people in. If you're going to have a resentful heart about it, don't have people over in the first place and also just pray to have a heart posture of hospitality. That's something I struggle with Sometimes. I just want to and that's fine to have those days where it's like, nope, this is just a family day. Those boundaries are really important, but it's also important to open up your home. It's what Christ calls us to do. We're supposed to be hospitable as Christians and if you're going to be hospitable, you should not be resentful. Right.
Speaker 2:So you have to make that choice. So, with that said, then, when you are inviting them over, don't just be a stick in the mud, because that's not welcoming. Get to know the kids and have fun with them and build a relationship with them, not in a creepy way where it's like your BFFs with your friend and their friends, in a way that's like this is healthy. These are what healthy adults look like. This is a safe place for me to like, have fun Right and get to know them. So one thing that we do to always get to know our kids friends is do you know what I'm gonna say?
Speaker 1:play games yeah, you want to talk about that yeah, no, I mean we we always keep a stock of different card games, board games, stuff like that, and we just tell them like, hey, hey, you guys, you can play video games later.
Speaker 2:but You're going to play a game with us.
Speaker 1:You're going to play a game with us first.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:And so you know we'll play spoons or whatever, and then they always are like kind of excited about it. Yeah, it's funny.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think the kids want that connection. They are excited about it. We actually have a lot of the kids that come hang out regularly like they ask for that. They want to play the game.
Speaker 1:Do you remember when what? The one friend came when we were in the middle of playing candy land and just with maya, and it's like this game for like three-year-olds, yeah, and he just jumped in?
Speaker 2:yeah started playing candy land yeah, and they're like nine years apart and they, they do, they jump right in, they love it. They kids love that stuff. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And it is like sometimes you don't want to. Sometimes it would be easier to just say, go play video games in the basement, we're going to sit up here and watch Netflix. We have to force ourselves to be like, OK, we're going to play a game with them, Right. But once you do, it's so fun and you build relationships with these kids and it's like opens that door for oh, these are like fun people and then also biblically, like as Christians. That shows them a picture of what like a healthy Christian family looks like.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean. Yeah, and that Christians are fun.
Speaker 2:Right, that's what I mean. Like we're not. I mean if you're sitting on a couch just being grumpy like I don't know, like we're not. I mean if you're sitting on a couch just being grumpy like I don't know. But if we're playing games and interacting and engaging and joking with them and knowing their interests and asking about what sports they're playing, that stuff matters to kids. So, with that said, the point of this one is know your rules and stick to them. So, but yeah, I don't know, like don't bend on the rules of the house, don't bend on the standards of the house. Right, like we like. If you don't think that at all, there are lots of things that we don't allow in our house that other people do, and it's like dumb stuff that is not even big deal, like YouTube, we don't worry. There's only a certain amount of things that we watch. For a long time we didn't have video games, and the video games that Carter does have, it's very few.
Speaker 2:He has like three video games and social media. Carter doesn't in that. And then, as a mom, I'm you too Like we're like. Does this make us look weird or make Carter like big people think Carter's weird? And the bottom line is no.
Speaker 1:And even if it does who cares?
Speaker 2:Stick to what your family convictions are, what your rules are, and that even applies for when friends are over.
Speaker 1:Yeah, 100%, and the kids end up respecting it.
Speaker 2:And if, they don't even know not a stick in the mud. Right. It doesn't matter, I was going to come over anyway, not only do they end up respecting it, kids love to know those healthy boundaries, and that goes for things like curfew rules, like whether or not you allow ding dong, ditching or walking out around the neighborhood. This includes also food that's available.
Speaker 1:It goes back to the ding dong ditching was also a trial and error.
Speaker 2:Yep, and that's that's a no now. But rules like this are good for the kids they end up loving them and it also prevents resentment in the parents. For the kids they end up loving them and it also prevents resentment in the parents. So like, if you don't set rules and expectations. We did this the first couple of times that we had sleepovers with boys. It was out of control.
Speaker 2:Kids were up till four in the morning. It was miserable and we were like we're never doing this again, Never, Like this is awful. And they're knocking on neighbors.
Speaker 2:It was like out of control yeah and then we were like, okay, no, actually we just need to set some rules and stick to them. And it took like two more times. And then now it's like they just know the drill, they just know what we expect here, they know that they're going to play games, they know they're going to talk to us in the kitchen. We're going to hang out and have fun. They can go hang out and it's.
Speaker 1:Yep, we tell them what time to go to bed and they do it.
Speaker 2:Yep. So bottom line is if you don't set expectations, kids won't know where the limits are and they're going to push the limits to find out where the limits are.
Speaker 1:A hundred percent.
Speaker 2:And that matters.
Speaker 1:now Think about when you were a kid.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 2:Dude, I would be pushing the limits for sure, like I would go to my friend's parents' house that I knew that there were less limits than my house. But the key with that is, if you're a fun family with strict limits, kids will want to come Right, so you don't need to worry about having all these yeah, so they'll push it. They will definitely push limits. So just know, set them and stick to them and be okay with that. And then the last one is just prepare your heart. So I talked about this a little bit already, that you don't want to come at this with resentment and feeling like I don't want this and I have a bad attitude.
Speaker 2:I will say one thing for me it goes back to like some of the other points is if my house is prepared, my heart is prepared. Like if my house is a mess and I have a million other things to do, I just really struggle with like. I'm very task oriented. I have to have my checklist done, and as much as we can eliminate that through keeping the house up throughout the week, and as much as we can eliminate that through keeping the house up throughout the week, that is helpful. So that helps me to prepare my heart.
Speaker 1:If your heart's not prepared and you're resentful, then I'm resentful.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, oh man, which, yeah, because you're so much more like you would let anybody like it doesn't bother you, it doesn't bother me either, but it would bother me more than it would let anybody like it doesn't bother you, it doesn't bother me either, but it would bother me more than it would bother you like I feel, like you would.
Speaker 1:I would bother me to an extent I would tap out sooner than you would yeah, when I mean when things get a little out of hand, that's what I'm like all right, like what's going on here yeah, but I would just say, prepare your heart.
Speaker 2:So, like I, I think this is a really important topic, especially as summer comes. So, like, think about what you want. Do you want to be a hosting house? Do you want to have kids over? Do you want to be a house that, as kids grow up, that your house is one of the ones that they look forward to hanging out? Like that's how my parents always were.
Speaker 2:And then I think, once I was an adult, my brother was still in high school. I mean, he's only like a year younger than me, but I was in college and he was still in high school. And all through high school, his because of the culture that my parents set when my kids were, when their kids were our kids age. My brother was then a senior in high school, and this was the same for my friends too, and they didn't allow alcohol in the house. They didn't, you know, allow all these crazy things. But people wanted to be there because they felt comfortable around my parents, they felt comfortable in our home and they knew it was like a safe place where they could just relax and be at home Right and hang out and they felt comfortable.
Speaker 2:Right, and so that's just. It's so important, and if that is something that is important to you, I would encourage you to just pray about this church, church, church, jesus, jesus, jesus.
Speaker 1:But then you're like grumpy and not fun and you don't have snacks and stuff for the kids to eat. Then like, are you really being a good example? Are you really being a person of impact? Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know you don't. I'm not saying you have to sit the kids down and do Bible studies with them like, just live and be and have fun and be who you are, and it will come through and it'll impact who it's going to impact. It's like you know, it's our job to plant the seeds and water the seeds, and then Jesus will reap the harvest.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I also, on the flip side, don't want to make it sound like this whole thing is like a ploy to get people safe. No, we just want to be hospitable, like we're not trying to brainwash anybody or, like you said, like we're not trying to do Bible studies although we could and it would be fine, like that's not. There's no ulterior motive here.
Speaker 1:Right here.
Speaker 2:But if you are a believer and listening to this and you have a young family, you also need to be reminded that this, your home, can be a mission field and it's important to welcome people in and it's important to reflect Christ when you do that. And I just like it's such a privilege to be a parent and it's such a short fleeting season and it's also there's so much opportunity there to like allow this to be our mission work, so why wouldn't we give it our everything and like allow our kids to welcome people in?
Speaker 1:Even like another, just like practical thing, if you're a Christian or non-Christian is if you're the house that's hospitable, that the kids want to be at, then you know what they're up to, because they're at your house, your kids aren't at somebody else's house, and then it lets you get to know their friends and what kind of people they are, and are they the right people that should be hanging around your kid?
Speaker 1:yeah, like you. Just, you have your finger on the pulse, for you know what's going on in your kids lives more when you're around them and their friends more yeah, definitely all right.
Speaker 2:Well, I think that's all we got. Um, clearly, this is a topic we are super passionate about, and I'm just so excited for summer.
Speaker 1:So I'm so excited considering the amount of money we just had to dump into that backyard. I know.
Speaker 2:I know, but it will be worth it.
Speaker 1:It will be worth it. I'm going to be sleeping out there. I'm going to get all. I'm going to get all my money's worth.
Speaker 2:All right, guys. We hope that you have a good week and we will catch you next week. You.