251. Find Your Thing, Run Your Race-Just Don't Be a Crab in a Bucket!

Welcome back! This week, we are recapping after Bethany's second marathon. She is sharing what she's learned along her running journey and sharing some breaking news. 

Transcript

Breaking News And Big Energy

SPEAKER_01 0:00

What's that?

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Breaking news. Breaking news. What was that? Breaking news, everybody?

SPEAKER_03 0:14

We are at war. It's not against our neighbors, spouses, children, politicians, or whatever else we feel like we're battling against.

SPEAKER_00 0:21

So the questions are, who's to fight against? And are we winning or losing? We're the advice, and we are a force to be reckoned with.

SPEAKER_02 0:30

Are you ready to join the force?

SPEAKER_00 0:44

Hello, everybody. Welcome back to another week of A Force to Be Reckoned with. We hope you guys are all doing well. How are you doing, Corey?

SPEAKER_04 0:54

I'm uh I'm kinda I'm here. I'm a little tired.

SPEAKER_00 1:00

Yeah. It's been it's been a week.

SPEAKER_04 1:03

It's been a go. It's been a for it's been a go for a couple weeks.

SPEAKER_00 1:06

Isn't that how a couple weeks?

SPEAKER_04 1:08

Not always.

unknown 1:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:10

Sometimes we get like, you know, some midweek.

SPEAKER_00 1:13

Well, you were just traveling.

SPEAKER_04 1:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:15

For we traveled.

SPEAKER_04 1:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:18

And then we left on a Thursday. Got back on Sunday. You weren't even home 12 hours, and then you left for the week. So you were gone pretty much a full week. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:26

And then I went into work again the next day. And then we had a very busy week. Busy weekend.

SPEAKER_00 1:31

Yeah. So it's been a lot, but it's been good.

SPEAKER_04 1:35

I could go for some nice sunshine. Slow day.

SPEAKER_00 1:40

I know. I think we all could. The hard thing is in Ohio right now, the weather sucks. It does. And it's May.

SPEAKER_04 1:47

What are you doing, Ohio?

SPEAKER_00 1:50

So we have an episode, but we have some topics we're gonna talk about.

SPEAKER_04 1:58

Do I have to do this?

SPEAKER_00 2:00

Before we do.

SPEAKER_04 2:02

Do we have to do this?

SPEAKER_00 2:03

Come on.

SPEAKER_04 2:04

The world will never know.

SPEAKER_00 2:05

You're ruining it. Before we do. What's that?

SPEAKER_04 2:12

Breaking news.

SPEAKER_01 2:16

Breaking news.

SPEAKER_00 2:20

What was that? Breaking news, everybody? For all the doubters and the haters and the naysayers. We got some messages from episode 249. Not only.

SPEAKER_04 2:34

How did you know what episode it was off the top of your head?

SPEAKER_00 2:36

Because I'm mad about it. No, I'm just kidding. I looked it up. If any of you have been here and listened to episode 249, you know that in that episode we were talking about my athleticism. And specifically my foul shooting skills. And Corey said that he didn't think that I what did what was it? What did you listen?

SPEAKER_02 3:05

You're cute. You're cute.

SPEAKER_00 3:09

You just the proof is in the pudding. Okay. So I stated in that episode that not only did I win one poster contest. I like silence more than violence. Not only did I win two poster contests.

SPEAKER_04 3:29

I was gonna say that is the win.

SPEAKER_00 3:31

$200,$500, but I also was a foul shooting competition champion. Okay, can we and thanks to Denise.

SPEAKER_04 3:42

Can we look at this again?

SPEAKER_00 3:43

Thanks to Denise. Article. Students rewarded for good choices.

SPEAKER_04 3:51

Right. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 3:53

Article. Oh, picture of the check. Certificate of achievement.

SPEAKER_04 4:00

That's not a check.

SPEAKER_00 4:01

Yes, this is a check.

SPEAKER_04 4:02

Okay, can I just say I've been waiting for you to bring this up?

SPEAKER_00 4:06

What?

SPEAKER_04 4:07

Because this evidence that your mom sent if her scrapbook, which 11-year-old girls winner. Where? Where does it say winner? Where does it say the winner?

SPEAKER_00 4:16

Just because this the article says certificate of achievement. Read the news article.

SPEAKER_04 4:22

It says that it was a district participant.

SPEAKER_00 4:25

It says news article.

SPEAKER_04 4:27

Hold on, okay. 12-year-old boys.

SPEAKER_00 4:29

And Bethany Carmy, 11-year-old girls.

SPEAKER_04 4:31

Jackie Howard.

SPEAKER_00 4:32

She was a winner.

SPEAKER_04 4:33

13 of Kent. The 13-year-old girls winner watches her basketball shot, heads into the hoop. Saturday theater rosa. Other winners are Shaquille Howard.

SPEAKER_00 4:43

Yeah, he's in the NBA now. I competed against the case.

SPEAKER_04 4:45

It's not even how it's not spelled the same. Boys and Antonio. Go Hagen. He's also in the NBA now. 12-year-old boys, Abby, nine-year-old girls, and Bethany Carmy. 11-year-old girls. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 4:58

Thank you. I won.

SPEAKER_04 4:59

Yes, you did win.

SPEAKER_00 5:00

Pictures right there.

SPEAKER_04 5:01

And then look at these kicks.

SPEAKER_00 5:04

Look at these kicks. But I was a winner. So thank you guys for the messages and the support. For those of you that doubted, I don't think I'm going to publish these.

SPEAKER_04 5:15

This says that these are the kids from the rehab center.

SPEAKER_00 5:22

You're such a liar. No, they don't. It says right here.

SPEAKER_04 5:27

What kind of rehab do you think that kid's in?

SPEAKER_00 5:30

That's Jackie Howard. That's the girl I tried to talk out of the fow shooting competition. Yes. That's a girl.

SPEAKER_04 5:35

Are you sure?

SPEAKER_00 5:36

I promise you. She's probably listening to this episode right now.

SPEAKER_04 5:38

Sorry, Jackie.

SPEAKER_00 5:39

Either that or she's in jail because she probably more like that.

SPEAKER_04 5:43

Okay, what kind of rehab center is that girl in? Yeah, I didn't know that girl.

SPEAKER_00 5:47

Alright. Anyway. Honestly, I don't even know what we're talking about.

SPEAKER_04 5:52

Where did they pick these kids from?

SPEAKER_00 5:55

What do you mean pick?

SPEAKER_04 5:57

Like, how many people did you have to beat out to get to this spot? Like, how many people did you compete against in the 11-year-old girls category?

SPEAKER_00 6:06

I don't remember.

SPEAKER_04 6:07

Was it just you and his Jackie Howard?

SPEAKER_00 6:09

No, there was more than that. I there were more than that. I won. There was a good amount.

SPEAKER_04 6:18

Out of how many people?

SPEAKER_00 6:19

Like at least 15. I don't know. Wow, Corey.

SPEAKER_04 6:26

I'm just asking.

SPEAKER_00 6:28

This is an utter, utter disbelief. Truly. You can't even fathom.

SPEAKER_04 6:34

I will say the way this ball is positioned in this picture is actually.

SPEAKER_00 6:38

My form was good. That's what I'm telling you.

SPEAKER_04 6:40

Well, what happened to it?

SPEAKER_00 6:42

I became a mother.

SPEAKER_04 6:43

I'm a dad. It didn't change my form.

SPEAKER_00 6:46

It's different when you're trying to goof around and you know you're not going to make the shot and you just flippantly throw it into the hoop.

SPEAKER_04 6:54

You've shot the same way that I the entire time I've known you.

SPEAKER_00 6:56

Yeah, because when you're under pressure and people are watching you, you don't want to show your full like potential because then what if it's bad?

unknown 7:07

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 7:07

So you just goof off. Here's what we're gonna do then. We're gonna record you shooting a shot that actual way in a serious manner, and we're gonna post it on Instagram.

SPEAKER_00 7:19

I think you cut out there. And we're gonna do what?

SPEAKER_04 7:21

We're gonna post it on Instagram.

SPEAKER_00 7:23

Okay, that's fine.

SPEAKER_04 7:25

And you can tell everybody we you can show them both. You can show them your.

SPEAKER_00 7:28

How many takes do I get?

SPEAKER_04 7:30

How many do you need? You can't beat your all. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:36

Like one.

SPEAKER_04 7:37

Then what okay, then one take. You get one take. That's fine. You gotta show us bad form and good form.

SPEAKER_00 7:43

If I actually tried, I would beat you in basketball.

SPEAKER_04 7:53

I'm just kidding. That's that's that was a good one. That was a good one.

Half Marathon Talk And Motivation

SPEAKER_00 7:57

Okay. So what we are talking about today, though, is my athleticism.

SPEAKER_04 8:04

It's true. This is actually true.

SPEAKER_00 8:07

It's it there is a good takeaway here, okay? I know. If I say it, if I say we're gonna talk about the half marathon, you guys are gonna shut it off. Oh, not this again, Bethany. You've been talking about it on social media and what nobody's thinking about. Well, I believe I posed about it. I feel like that. Like, oh, here she goes.

SPEAKER_04 8:25

There's probably people out there like, what is she even talking about? I didn't even know if she did a half marathon. You made like one or two posts.

SPEAKER_00 8:31

So I ran a half marathon. I've actually run two, one in October and one in in April that we I just ran. But we were talking about it last night, and Corey is before we get into the actual episode, he is such a good cheerleader. I was like, and it you are just such a good sport because you the first one, you're out there in the rain with three of our kids, and you mapped out the course and you guys made it. Was it the same for when I ran in October? Like you stopped at two different mile markers and the finish?

SPEAKER_04 9:13

We did no, we only were able to do one. Okay, and then the finish.

SPEAKER_00 9:17

Regardless. I think I can't remember.

SPEAKER_04 9:20

Yeah, I think it was just the one.

SPEAKER_00 9:22

Yeah, no, no, I think you did too. I'm pretty sure you did too. Anyway, and I was like, we were talking about it last night, and I'm like, does it make you feel inspired and motivated when I'm running, or are you like, oh Bethany? Bless her heart. Yeah, which one is it? Who can answer honestly?

SPEAKER_04 9:51

No, you motivated me. I mean, I'm not a runner, but it it's like to see you out there doing something is like what are you what?

SPEAKER_00 10:01

We're gonna see you out there doing something other than the nothing you've been doing.

SPEAKER_04 10:05

No, no, but seriously though, to see you out there like getting after it. Yeah, yeah, it's inspiring. I I wouldn't run, but I would motivate it motivates me to do like other things. Yeah, I see.

SPEAKER_00 10:20

I'm not a runner.

SPEAKER_04 10:22

You're looking good out there.

SPEAKER_00 10:24

Thanks. Well, okay, so you look cute at mile eight. To start, why mile eight?

SPEAKER_04 10:32

I don't know.

Anxiety Hits And Running Starts

SPEAKER_00 10:34

So back to the back to the actual episode. So spring of last year started running. I was I was just not in a good spot. We've I've talked about this on the podcast before. Was having like just in a bad spot mentally, was having anxiety, like I've never really had that before. I was wrestling with all of our home life stuff, feeling like I needed to let go of the business and work, but not doing that. And I think that was causing the anxiety, just like in a really bad spot, you know? So, but I also physically what is it about running? Well, hold on a second. Before I get to that, I just want to say, like, also physically, I would say this time last year I was at a low. Like, I've had autoimmune stuff that I've been trying to figure out for years. It was flared up really bad, just super inflamed, bad spot, and then like physically, mentally, just a mess. It wasn't running, it wasn't like I wasn't like, oh, I need to go run to get better. I literally just started with I'm like, I have to do something. So I just started going outside and walking and praying. And then I had I did used to like to run. Like, what would it just helps me to decompress? Like, we're different, we're wired differently.

SPEAKER_04 12:00

Yeah, but like what is it? Like it why do you not feel the same way when you like lift?

SPEAKER_00 12:06

I don't like lifting because it needs to be faster paced.

SPEAKER_04 12:10

Like it doesn't my brain you don't like to do something strong in real life.

SPEAKER_00 12:15

I do like the way I feel after I lift, but it's too slow paced for me. Like my brain is non-stop, non-stop. And so for m lifting and to take the breaks and stuff, it's just it doesn't see my brain's non-stop too, but I like this I I can't stand running. I don't know. It's I think I'm just like have more of an anxious personality.

SPEAKER_04 12:36

When I run, I my brain goes extra because I'm like looking around.

SPEAKER_00 12:40

I'm like, like, oh it just calms my nerves and my nervous system, and I think it it exhausts me to a point that nothing else can really exhaust me, and then I feel like I'm sure. I'm sure, trust me. So anyway, um but yeah, it was just not a good spot. I felt like I got a million pounds on my chest, just but so I started running this time last year, couldn't even run a mile. And then we were on vacation in July on our way home and approaching Canton, and I was like, you know what? I'm just gonna do it. I have signed up for one, didn't get to do it because we had a bunch of our foster kids come back within the week that I was supposed to run, and just yeah, just never got to do it. So I signed up and I was like, I'm doing this, and I did it last year, completed my first half marathon, and it was so I don't know, it was just really cool. And then I decided to do the second one because I want to run a full marathon, which I never thought that I would say that. I thought a half marathon was that's a lot a lot. It is a lot. I wonder how I just signed up today for the full, it's in October, and this one in April was supposed to be like a a milestone to check on my training progress. What are you doing?

SPEAKER_04 14:14

Dang, it's only 17 miles. What the Walmart and Alliance.

SPEAKER_00 14:19

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 14:20

That's 17 miles from here, dude. I was just like, what's 26 miles from here?

SPEAKER_00 14:26

It's so far. It's gotta be the sheets.

SPEAKER_04 14:29

You think it's gotta be the sheets and alliance? I bet you it's further.

SPEAKER_00 14:33

No, hold on. What about is my parents' house in Ravenna 26 miles?

SPEAKER_04 14:38

Oh, okay. Hold on. Let me look uh wait a minute, let me just do that.

SPEAKER_00 14:42

No, how much far is my parent?

SPEAKER_04 14:44

21.

SPEAKER_00 14:45

No, yeah, bro. That's not true. That's the airplane.

SPEAKER_02 14:51

No look okay.

SPEAKER_00 14:56

Well, on my training, I'm gonna run to my parents' house.

SPEAKER_04 15:00

Do you you don't want to run to your parents' house? There's some there's some roads you shouldn't be running on.

SPEAKER_00 15:05

I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 15:06

That's so far.

SPEAKER_00 15:07

It's so far.

SPEAKER_04 15:08

Plus, you would have to like how you gonna get back?

SPEAKER_00 15:11

Oh, you mean you can't drive too far for you to drive?

SPEAKER_04 15:14

I'm not driving out there, it's a long drive.

SPEAKER_00 15:20

Oh man, yeah, 26 miles is far.

SPEAKER_04 15:22

Do you see that's 30 minutes of driving?

SPEAKER_00 15:25

I know, but I don't know. I'm just like a goat. I just feel like I have to always have something to strive toward. Do you feel like that? Yeah, if I don't have something to strive toward, I'm like, where am I going?

SPEAKER_04 15:37

That's why I do 75 hard all the time.

SPEAKER_00 15:39

Yeah, it's just who I am. Like I have to be stri working towards something, anyway.

SPEAKER_05 15:47

That's crazy.

Parents Need A Healthy “Thing”

SPEAKER_00 15:48

So, not only has running been something that I can do for me, and it's like quiet time and time to pray and listen to a good podcast and process, but it's one of the things that just helps me my brain to feel at ease. So it's just been so good. And so the first thing I just want to say is that I think that sometimes when we're in those bad places, we have as parents, like we have to have something for ourselves. And I've always been kind of like, eh, I don't really like that because as a parent, you're supposed to serve your family. But I actually do think it's really important. And I don't know, like what the I think it depends on what it is. Yeah, like it, but when you say you should be able to do it, let me finish this. Let me caveat when I say something for herself. Here's the why something that's good. Like, because I think running has been not only good for my mental and physical health, something that is good for my mental and physical health, but it's been good for the kids to see that like I'm working toward something, like have a goal, yeah, and they're seeing me achieve something and do something hard. So that's what I mean.

SPEAKER_04 16:59

That it has to meet those criteria.

SPEAKER_00 17:02

Yeah, like I don't mean like go out and drink at a bar.

SPEAKER_04 17:04

Like that's my oh you know when I have something, yeah. I go to freaking poker night every Thursday, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:10

Because I genuinely like I don't want to go, I don't want this to be uh like a mental health or get or self-improvement episode at all because I don't even feel equipped to speak on those things. But I I genuinely was never in a worse place than I was in 2025, and there's a lot of things that helped me having you and and my faith and all of that, but having physical activity and something for me to like work toward, it's helped me so much.

SPEAKER_04 17:44

Well, because it is scientifically proven, yeah, true. I mean, it is true that when you do physical activity, it is good for your for your mental health. Yeah, there's a lot out there, there's a lot that it talks about that it helps with depression and anxiety and all of that, just moving, just doing any exercise.

SPEAKER_00 18:03

Yeah. Well, I don't know, just having something I think it's important for parents. And one of my things when I was doing that first half marathon, I had said to you before, I'm like, I don't really care. I don't have a goal, I just want to finish. And I would think it would be really cool if at the end of this, I won't I really wanted the kids to go to see me run. If at the end of this one of the kids were like excited about this and like wanted to pick up the hobby. And the first thing that Carter said to me when I crossed the finish line, he was like, That was so cool. I want to run the next one with you. I mean, he's not, he's not, he didn't run the next one.

SPEAKER_04 18:40

Yeah, it was so good when you guys ran together in Nashville.

SPEAKER_00 18:43

Well, that would have been a terrible course for him to run.

SPEAKER_04 18:46

It was good, it was good to hear him like at least like feel motivated enough in the moment. Well, it's good to set an example for your kids, whether it's something like some type of physical fitness thing, whether you're you're training for something that you would compete in, or you're doing a 75 hard or something like that. But and and also like when we included the kids in our debt journey, like when we had those goals, too, like that's good for our for your kids to see you as an adult, showing them what it's like to set a goal and to work towards that goal, and then yeah, hit your goal or even fail, but come close.

SPEAKER_00 19:24

I think sometimes the healthiest things thing that we can do for our kids is letting them see us grow as people.

SPEAKER_04 19:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:32

Because we're human as a mom, like because it's so much pressure, you want to get it right. And um But how think back like they if we're just constantly reminding them that we're growing too and we're learning and we're trying our best, and we were being honest about that, and they're seeing us actually not like actually practice what we preach and grow and make changes and be sincere and when we when we fall short, that is so healthy.

SPEAKER_04 20:04

Think about it though. Like, if when you were a kid, like how disappointing would it be if your parents and you never saw your parents ever strive for anything? Yeah, like how disappointed would you be in your parents when you grew up? Yeah, I mean if you've if you never saw them ever try to work towards anything, whether it was to run in a race, even if it was a 5k or to try to get healthier or to get out of debt or to run a business or anything, like how disappointing would it be that you're you look back and you're like, My parents never did anything.

SPEAKER_00 20:35

It yeah, it would be one of two things. Either one, you look back and you be you do grow up and you are a striver and it is disappointing, or you become just like them, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 20:45

That's might even be more sad.

SPEAKER_00 20:46

Yeah, I don't know. Seriously, I don't know, this is not encouraging at all.

SPEAKER_04 20:53

Well, it shouldn't hopefully it's encouraging people out there to think about it. And if they're have never chased anything and shown their kids that they were willing to kind of lay it on the line and chase something, yeah, and that they would want to go do it.

SPEAKER_00 21:05

The last thing I want to say about this. So this this portion of it, well no, this this section was like find your thing. Oh, that I think a lot of times we get busy and we think I don't have time, and this is selfish and this is stupid, but it's really it's just it is good. It's good for us, it's healthy for us, and it's healthy for our kids to see that, like, hey, mom's gonna take this time away to do this thing, and actually she's gonna come back better.

SPEAKER_04 21:33

Yeah. And I would say we actually have more time than we think.

SPEAKER_00 21:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 21:37

You know what I mean? Yeah. Like that's the one thing about doing the 75 hearts is point out to me is that we have we do have more time than we think. Whether it's getting up a little bit earlier or having your you know, for you, like if there were times where I would just take the kids and let you go run. But like you need to there's couch time, there's going and doing other things. Visiting with people, whatever, like you'll find the time.

SPEAKER_00 22:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 22:06

So don't use that as an excuse either. I feel like it's kind of a cop-out.

You’re More Qualified Than You Think

SPEAKER_00 22:10

Yeah. So then the next one is you are more qualified than you think. But I've this carries into so many things, like a job or a role that you're signed up for, you know, or or it could be like for me, I've I do this with pretty much everything that I feel like an imposter, but especially with running, I'm like, I'm freaking overweight, I'm out of shape. Like, who am I to think that I can do this kind of stuff? But you don't just wake up one day and get qualified for something. You become qualified when you begin to start doing things. So it's like you're not just always equipped, you can't do it.

SPEAKER_04 22:56

Right, even if you train this, honestly, even for that, it's like even if you train, it's like you you have to just get in the game. Right. And it was the same thing. Learn on the learn on the go.

SPEAKER_00 23:06

Right. Nobody starts off strong, nobody starts off experienced. Every person who is good at something started off as a beginner. Oh, for sure. I think that was just a good lesson. And the other thing is that came with running is it like when you do something that's hard and you push yourself, you build confidence. Yep. And confidence is built by keeping promises to yourself.

SPEAKER_04 23:34

You know what's funny? I'm just gonna add in there is that um running like a half marathon or a marathon is like one of the only things that somebody gets a medal for for just doing it, and you're like, Yeah, they kind of deserve that. Do you think I was actually wondering because you're like a very hard, like I yeah, I'm not uh everybody gets it, but it's like I I feel like you should because running 13 miles just sucks. Whether you were like dead last or whatever, if you finish, you have to finish because there's some people that don't finish.

SPEAKER_00 24:07

Yeah, if you finish-I don't even know if I told you this because I said this in front of Brooke yesterday because my my pap was asking how the race went, and I was like, it was good, but it was hard. Like it was the I don't think we got a break from hills till mile nine, and I just kept thinking, how are we still going uphill without going downhill?

SPEAKER_04 24:27

Because we were on the downhill, okay.

SPEAKER_00 24:29

Yeah, but I said there were people passing out like left and right. Me and Missy were running, and we were like, Oh, there's a person on a stretcher getting wheeled away. No, seriously, on a stretcher? Yes, there were three three people that we saw getting wheeled away on stretchers. It was just the combination of in the hills, and then I got on social media afterward, and there were I saw probably bites of dust three more people that there was a girl who's like super, super athletic and fit, and on mile 12, mile 12 of 13, she was one and a half. Yes, she passed out and she had to go to the rush to the house. It was way harder than my first race. I at the end I had to walk because I was like, Well, yeah, I know, but did you ever feel like oh yeah, yeah, did you feel like you were gonna pass out then? I don't I never like started. Like lightheaded or anything, but it was really hard. It was really hard. I don't know if I would run that course again.

SPEAKER_04 25:27

But that's wild, yeah. Yeah, so like running 13 miles sucks. I've never I don't think I've ever run what's a what's a 5k? Is that three miles? Yeah, that's the furthest I've ever ran.

SPEAKER_00 25:40

I know it just feels so good, and you really do just feel so accomplished. Okay, sorry.

SPEAKER_04 25:45

So yeah, you should get a medal for that one.

SPEAKER_00 25:48

My third thing is this is a good life one too. Stay near the encouragers. I just think that this is really important. And we also were talking about this last night, too. You don't need this massive crowd of people supporting you, you just need a few people. And I think that that are real, yeah. A few people that are real. Isolation is not good, and I when I get stressed out or have stuff going on, I tend to isolate, which I don't know. In some ways, isolation can be good. Because we were talking about this too last night.

SPEAKER_04 26:24

Sometimes you need a minute, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:25

You need a minute, but you have to be so careful of the people that you like let into your mind. Yeah, you know what I mean? And that's what I mean. That's what I mean by stay near the encouragement. Because it there's there's just so much noise, and if we aren't selective in what we allow in our circle and in our brain, you just it's so easy to get into a negative space.

SPEAKER_04 26:57

Oh, yeah. Because most people are crabs in the bucket.

SPEAKER_00 27:00

Yeah, and that's kind of my other two points, which I was gonna have you talk about that my next point. But yeah, I don't know. I guess you could talk about it here.

SPEAKER_04 27:09

Because most people, isn't it? If anybody's ever heard the crabs in the bucket story, it's it's real. If you put crabs, so people will go and catch crabs, and if you put one crab in the bucket, the crab will get out. But as soon as you start putting two or more crabs in the bucket, you don't need to put a lid on it. Because what happens is when one crab starts to escape, the ones in the bucket pull them back down.

SPEAKER_05 27:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 27:34

And so most people live their lives like that.

SPEAKER_05 27:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 27:38

Like most people are uncomfortable when somebody steps out of the out of everyone's comfort zone and tries to strive for something more or something just different than what is socially normal and acceptable or whatever. And so they tear them down with negativity or fake support or no support or talk crap behind their back or whatever to try to pull them back down into the bucket. And it's really sad.

SPEAKER_00 28:10

Exactly. And that goes into my fourth point, which I'll say in a minute. But the last thing I want to say about the stay near to the encouragers is when it comes to like having a dream or having a vision, some people will drain that vision right out of you with their negativity, and some people will breathe life back into your dreams and be like, yeah, you think you can do that.

SPEAKER_04 28:32

Which one is Christ like?

SPEAKER_00 28:33

Right. Right.

SPEAKER_04 28:35

Right? Yeah. That that gets me a lot because to be honest with you, I don't know, I don't want to go off on a whole other tangent, but like there are so many people that act like they're Christians or claim to be Christians, and they're just a bunch of freaking crabs in the bucket, dude. They're negative and they're wrapped up in their own stuff and the check the box Christianity, and they don't encourage people, they're not uplifters, they're crap talkers, and they get they're comfortable in their little comf comfortable blanket, warm blanket by the fireplace. Christianity that's not real, and try to pull everybody down.

Crabs In A Bucket And Faith

SPEAKER_00 29:09

Yeah. So don't be a crab in a Christian. Fourth one was strangers are cheering for you. And I wrote that down when I was running my first half marathon. I was on probably like mile three or four, and I literally got my notes out of my phone and I and I wrote down strangers are cheering for you. Because you know, you're at this race and there's people, and yeah, they're there for other people, but I that's one thing I love about the running community. It's like some of the most encouraging people ever. They have signs and they're like literally making eye contact with you, and they're like, you keep going, you got this, because a lot of it is people who have run before or are runners, and there's literal strangers on the side of the road who want to see you win. And that for me was super powerful because when I ran that first race, it was like right in the thick of still not being in a good spot mentally. And not only are you there, and there's these people that you don't even know, and they're like, You can do this, I believe in you.

SPEAKER_04 30:20

But it was just one thing is funny, but the other one it isn't is I don't know if how Josh and Gamed would feel about me like saying this about him or not, but it was kind of funny watching watching them, like because we were all there together, and they would just like we'd be like walking and they would just randomly be like, Yeah, you got this to some complete stranger, and it was cool because they were like getting into it, yeah. You know what I mean? Uh but the other one was the one lady at the first stop we were at the whole time.

SPEAKER_05 30:51

She kept going, You got every like every five seconds, you guys got this, you're so strong, you're so strong.

SPEAKER_04 31:02

Like she kept saying that over and over. I'm just I'm like, bro. And then one time this one dude was he was running and he ran by her and she goes, You're so strong.

SPEAKER_00 31:09

He goes, No, I'm not a runner. Well, it was probably around mile eight, was it? No, it was in mile three. Oh my well, mile three was rough too.

SPEAKER_04 31:20

But but it was true. What you're saying is true, just watching all these people just cheer people on. You have no, you don't even know.

SPEAKER_00 31:27

Yeah, because going off like with that, with the crabs in a bucket, there have been seasons, there will always be, I guess I should say that, there will always be seasons in life where I can feel people close to us that don't understand what we're pursuing. They don't understand the call that God is placing on our lives, and so that this is bigger than running, but even something silly like a half marathon. Um, or maybe they do and they just they don't even want to see you succeed. They're like the silent observers, and you can see them watching and you can feel them watching. Yeah, and they're they're not happy for you, yeah. And uh that bothers me because I just can't fathom not wanting to see somebody win. Yeah, do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04 32:19

A hundred percent.

SPEAKER_00 32:20

Like, even people I don't really like, like I still want to see them.

SPEAKER_04 32:23

I still want to see them win. I love seeing people accomplish stuff, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:27

And so the that's the strangers are cheering for you, I think is a good reminder that it's like and why wouldn't you?

SPEAKER_04 32:34

Who does that?

SPEAKER_00 32:35

Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 32:37

Like, I'm just like seriously sick, yeah. Like who does that? Yeah, who doesn't want to cheer for somebody to like have success and win? Right, like because you're so self-conscious about yourself and you're so like upset that you haven't accomplished the things that you wanted to accomplish in your life, yeah, that you're gonna take it out on somebody else and wish that they didn't accomplish what they set out to do, right? Dude, if you think about that, that's sick. I know that's really sick in the head. Like, what is wrong with you? Right, yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, but I will say, like, why would you ever wish failure upon somebody unless what they were setting out to do was evil?

SPEAKER_00 33:16

But I think that's just it's just wild. The bigger lesson here is that if you're doing what God is asking you to do, and we've said this before, and you're doing something that you're confident is what you're supposed to be doing, there's gonna be people that are close, even the people that are closest to you, some most sometimes it is, that um that aren't gonna get it and they're not gonna cheer for you. And that doesn't, you don't have to stop just because there's people close to you that aren't cheering for you.

SPEAKER_03 33:46

Don't stop.

SPEAKER_00 33:47

But it fuel you're gonna be able to do for people because there's complete strangers out there who aren't cheering for you, and who cares? Yeah, and also it doesn't matter. Even if nobody's cheering for you.

SPEAKER_04 33:57

So you should care less what those people think. Yeah, you should care less, like they should have less weight over your life. But at the end of the day, even if nobody is and you're doing what God asks you to do, then that's that's yeah, but seriously, think about that because a lot of people will get caught up in that and worry so much about what those people think. Yeah. When in reality, it's like, what losers? Like you should care less what they think. Like their lives are so miserable that they're gonna wish that you didn't succeed on what you set out for. Why do you care what they think?

SPEAKER_00 34:30

Do you guys hear my hype guy? This is what Corey has to do almost every night when I'm having a mental breakdown.

SPEAKER_04 34:39

Like it genuinely, like, all of that is one of those things that I actually can't understand.

SPEAKER_00 34:45

Just like not wanting to be happy for somebody.

SPEAKER_04 34:48

Like, sometimes I can put myself in somebody else's shoes, even if I don't agree with them and understand where they're coming from. I actually can't fathom that. I can't understand why anybody would ever care what that person thinks. Well, I can't.

SPEAKER_00 35:03

That's where we're different.

SPEAKER_04 35:04

I just can't fathom it. I can't wrap my brain around it. And I also can't fathom also why you wouldn't want somebody to do good.

SPEAKER_00 35:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 35:14

Like, I can't wrap my brain around that. Like, to me, it's like you're the low of the low.

SPEAKER_00 35:18

It bothers me because I don't understand why you wouldn't want to be happy for somebody.

SPEAKER_04 35:24

Right. That's what bothers me. Right. And it's like, but it's also it's those kind of also very By the way, this isn't about anybody specific.

SPEAKER_00 35:31

I had once had a one of our family members reach out to me.

SPEAKER_04 35:35

Wait, for real.

SPEAKER_00 35:36

That listened to the podcast and said, Were you talking about me? And they were like, Hey, I you sometimes you guys talk about people close to you, and I just want to make sure I didn't do anything. This is not about anybody specific. This, these are just takeaways. And I hope if if it is feeling like you, maybe you should check your heart.

SPEAKER_04 35:54

But it's about you be. Oh, sorry, we had to beep that out. Couldn't let them know who it was.

SPEAKER_00 36:01

Yeah, I don't know. I feel like this episode was really unorganized, but but it's fine.

SPEAKER_04 36:06

But but seriously though, too, like those type of people are also the people that are the like act like they're better than everybody else, like Christians that turn people away from Christianity. It's the same kind of people.

SPEAKER_00 36:21

You're gonna have to elaborate.

SPEAKER_04 36:23

Okay, there's the people that act like they're better than you, like they think that they're better Christians than you, like they think they're good, like God loves them more or something because they check the boxes and they hide their sin.

SPEAKER_00 36:38

But do you think they genuinely think that, or do you think that Oh, I think it's a facade. I think it's insecurity, it's insecurity. Anybody who for sure.

SPEAKER_04 36:47

But there actually are some people that actually think that too. There's two types in that boat. There are there's the insecure types that this is getting off the notes.

SPEAKER_00 36:55

It's making me a little bit.

SPEAKER_04 36:56

And then there's the other types that they actually believe it. But it's those, those are the same people, and it's not just they're also there's people that are like that, they're also not Christians, but uh they they're the same kind of people that don't root for people.

SPEAKER_00 37:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 37:13

Because they want to be better than you, and they want to keep it that way.

SPEAKER_00 37:16

Yeah, I that's you know what I mean.

SPEAKER_04 37:19

They think they're better and you want to keep it that way.

SPEAKER_00 37:21

You can sense when you are friends with somebody who puts on a facade like they're happy for you or they want to see you win, but actually they always just want to be a little bit ahead of you. Yeah, do you know what I mean? Yeah, that's not healthy. I think you have to run from those relationships. Not that you have to be above somebody else, but like you the healthy, we were just talking about this with Carter with friendships. Oh yeah, a healthy friendship is when you don't have to play the game, right? When you can just be you and you can show up as you and you can and when you're when your friend like strives for something and like hits it, and it motivates you to try to be a little bit better.

SPEAKER_04 38:04

So you actually end up pushing each other and you start making each other better.

SPEAKER_00 38:07

It's the same thing with marriage.

SPEAKER_04 38:08

It'd be like if one of the other crabs saw the crab trying to climb out of the bucket and was like, oh, I'm gonna give him a little boost, and then he'll pull me out.

SPEAKER_00 38:15

Right.

SPEAKER_04 38:16

Right?

SPEAKER_00 38:16

That's what it should be. We should be crabs out of the bucket. Why are we staying in the bucket? We should be helping our each other out of the bucket.

SPEAKER_04 38:25

Right. There's no lid. Right. There's literally no lid, but we use people pull people back down the bucket. A bunch of morons.

SPEAKER_00 38:32

So all that to say, with through all this mumbo jumbo of I don't even know what we said around the race. Find your thing. You are more qualified than you think. Stay near the encouragers.

SPEAKER_04 38:47

That was the stay near the encouragers section.

We’re Cheering For You Text Us

SPEAKER_00 38:49

And no, strangers are cheering for you. Oh, that was and we're cheering for you. So just want you to know I want you to do good. We're cheering for you. We actually have been getting fan mail through the text.

SPEAKER_04 39:03

I thought we actually got a piece of mail.

SPEAKER_00 39:05

No, I'm gonna address and we'll keep it that way. But you can text us. If you go to the show notes, you can send us a text. We would love to know like if you guys are doing something, if you're running a race, if you have this goal, like what are you guys striving toward? Because we want to cheer for you and pray for you. And that's we rise by lifting others.

SPEAKER_04 39:26

That's being Christ-like, and that's what it's like. Like, if you if you truly have a relationship with Jesus, you're gonna encourage other people and lift them, and then people are attracted to that. That's part of it. It's we talk about like when living a life for Christ is is doing hard things, but also like being attractive, like suck like people want to be near you because of who you are and how you act in the hard things or how you treat people and how you encourage people, and are you fun and all of that? Like, that's what's attractive about following Christ. And if you're not like that, might want to check your heart, bro. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:08

All right. Well, thanks for joining us for another week. Um, we appreciate you guys, and we'll see you next week.