Money and Your Mental Health

We connect the dots between financial stress and mental health, from sleep and mood changes to avoidance and overwork. We share practical ways to balance your money and your mind so you can stay aware without letting anxiety run your life. 
• money stress as uncertainty that fuels anxious thoughts 
• behavior changes that signal finances are taking a toll 
• why avoiding money conversations keeps the fear growing 
• building a plan that fits your real income and bills 
• using regular check-ins to stay flexible and pivot 
• knowing your numbers to replace worry with action 
• retail therapy and the hidden emotional cost of spending 
• strategies to slow impulse buying and reduce app temptation 
• setting boundaries with economic news and social media 
• financial infidelity and why couples need honest money talks 
• signs it’s time to ask for help from a trusted person or professional 
Schedule a financial wellness checkup. We’re here to help. 
Subscribe to the Money Matters Podcast, and visit neighborsfcu.org slash financial wellness for more tools to help you build a strong financial future. 

Transcript

Welcome And Mental Health Month

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Welcome to Money Matters, the podcast that focuses on how to use the money you have, make the money you need, and save the money you want. Now, here is your host, Ms. Kim Chapman.

SPEAKER_02 0:14

Welcome to another edition of Money Matters. You know, May is mental health awareness month. And when we think about money, we think about, oh, sometimes the stress that it brings. And so we're going to have a conversation today about what are some of the signs that money is really wreaking havoc on your life and what are some things that you can do to make it a little bit better. So returning guest is licensed professional therapist and counselor, Miss Maiesha Byrd.

SPEAKER_01 0:40

Yes. Beer. Yeah, beard. Beard, I'm sorry. Yes. Thank you for having me.

Meet Therapist Myesha Beard

SPEAKER_02 0:45

Oh, thank you for joining us. Something that is so important, you know, when we think about mental health issues and we think about money, they go hand in hand. I mean, everybody deals with money. Just some people can deal with it a little bit better than others. But I know that there's got to be some techniques, some tips that you can provide that can maybe help us deal with it a little bit better. So why don't you just start by telling us a little bit about your background for maybe listeners that haven't heard some of the other wonderful episodes you've joined me on?

SPEAKER_01 1:13

Yes, again, I'm Aesha Beard. I am a licensed clinical therapist, and I have been practicing for 22 years. I am the owner of Restore Counseling Services in Zachary, and I primarily focus on clinical mental health for children, adults, couples, and families. There, I do assessments, treatments, substance abuse, um, adoption, family court, basically everything associated with general populations and mental health care. I have seen a number of increased uh clients coming in for financial stress. And so that's why I'm happy to be here today. But it is not exempt. It is not a diagnosis, but it's definitely something that we need to be able to consider.

Money Anxiety And Uncertainty

SPEAKER_02 1:53

Definitely, definitely. So when you think about money and mental health, what's the connection people often overlook?

SPEAKER_01 1:59

They often overlook that the money is created to the thought of uncertainty or thinking about anxiety and anxious responses. So without giving it a diagnosis, you're constantly focused on it. Whether you have a lot of it, you don't want to spend it, you don't want to lose it because of the economy. And if you don't have enough of it, it creates a worry and uncertainty. So without someone actually looking at their goals and concerns associated with money, it can create a definitely imbalance. So one of the things that I like to say is learn how to balance the money and also balance the mind. And when I say that it sounds two-dimensional, you can be too focused on it, which creates a concern, and you cannot have enough focus on it, and it also creates a concern. So we kind of deal with those things in between.

Signs Money Is Hurting You

SPEAKER_02 2:42

So what are some signs or symptoms that money is having a negative effect that maybe you're not it you may not even realize?

SPEAKER_01 2:50

It's actually the same as anything associated with your mental health. Any changes in your behavior, sometimes you're not able to sleep or rest. You may have mood concerns associated with payday or when it's time to make bills, you can kind of withdraw if you're unable to make sound decisions about how to spend the money effectively. And because of the economy and everything that's going on, people are always watching and worrying about what's next. So whether you're saving, it's almost like I have it, I want to hold on to it, don't want to let it go. Um, or you're thinking that you can't get enough of it. So you have people that are overworking, and then you have people that are underworking because they feel like I can I only have one life to live, so I'm gonna do this the best way I can. So I think that it's important for everyone to just understand their connection with money and how it's affecting them. It does not sound like it can be something that's serious in the long run, but the way you deal with it early is the way you're gonna create a negative response if you don't kind of talk about it. So I also believe that if you can't do it yourself, you need to find someone that'll be able to help you with that. So a financial advisor, learning how to get on podcasts like this to educate yourself, whether you feel like you're fine or not, it's always a good opportunity to check in.

SPEAKER_02 4:01

I find that money is one of those topics that people tend to avoid, whether they have it or whether there is a lack there. Why do you think it's one of those topics that people just really like to stay away from?

SPEAKER_01 4:11

It's a fear associated with it. And uncertainty, of course, is anything that you have to think about what's coming next, or the fear of what is to come creates anxious responses. So sometimes you don't want to think about it at all. You just want to live the life that you have and focus on what you know, but it's best to be aware. So whether you feel like you're in a negative and you need to do something about it, ignoring it does not make it go away. So many people are avoiding that because they don't have the tools and resources to help themselves through.

Budgets Plans And Regular Check-Ins

SPEAKER_02 4:39

And you're right, it is not going away. So, how can something like inconsistency, not having a plan, because I preach budgets all the time, how can that impact mental health?

SPEAKER_01 4:49

Very easily. However, once you create the plan, that doesn't mean that the plan is gonna always work. You should say that again. Once you create the plan, it doesn't mean that the plan is gonna always work. You have to also make sure that you have a plan that's gonna work for you and your family and the income that you have. So sometimes we can watch um financial gurus and it gives us all this information, but it does not apply to you. That that's not the job that you have, that's not the family that you have, and it definitely doesn't match the bills that you have. So I like to do something that's called a check-in. You can do that just mental health, like with your family. Where are we now with money or whatever you're you're focusing on? Where would we like to be, and then what are the steps and twos that we need to take to get there? That's something that you need to do frequently. So the plan is important, but just because we have a plan at the first of the year, that plan may look totally different six months later because of expenses and things that you didn't know were coming down.

SPEAKER_02 5:43

So you're talking about that plan. So, how impactful is knowing your numbers on your mental health?

SPEAKER_01 5:48

It's very impactful. It keeps you aware and it keeps you focused on when to pivot. That's gonna be something. Instead of worry, we should think about what I can change. And it's almost like behaviors. This is the behavior of spending money and the behavior of changing money. So you can kind of do an overview of what happened in um the last quarter and how good the money was for you, and then looking at how you can change that for the next time. You always want to be better. And I know that people focus on emergency funds and savings and all of that, and so they kind of get like, if I don't have that, it's not gonna work. Sometimes you may not be able to have that depending on what's coming up. So that plan is gonna be very important, but it has to be consistent, not just when it's easy, even when it's difficult, even when the numbers are negative. You still have to stick to the plan and make changes consistently that's gonna better your situation.

SPEAKER_02 6:35

And that's really where I wanted to go too. You know, it's May, and if we kind of look back, it was January, it was just yesterday, and people were making those brand new New Year's resolutions. I'm gonna save this, I'm gonna do this with money. And some of them, you know, may have missed the mark. So, how important is it just to make those small changes? Even if we set a goal that may have been a little too zealous and we hadn't made it, how important is it just to keep going and making those small changes?

SPEAKER_01 7:02

Right, plan and purpose. So it can be something that's a challenge. I think that people are getting creative now. Um, and everybody likes to talk about the no spending challenge, okay? All right, but then what's gonna happen when you have to spend? You feel like you failed, so everything is over. That doesn't mean that that means we're gonna stop right now and come back and do it again, but I think it's just gonna be uh sensitive to whatever your income is and what that looks like for you. We also don't want to kind of resist living. So I know that right now people are really struggling to thrive. So the basic survivor skills are very hard for people right now. So it's kind of like looking at it but not doing it too much. However, if the plan is causing the problem, we need to either look at another family member that can do that for you or need to look outside, CPA, going to the bank and talking to someone there who can kind of assist you. Because if you feel like you don't know what to do and you keep failing, you're gonna stop and you're gonna do nothing. And you're gonna find yourself in a negative situation over and over again. And at that point, we're only doing the things that we need. So some people are just saying, as long as I pay my mortgage, as long as I pay my car note, everything else is gone. Well, then guess what's gonna happen? A year or two from now, all of that's gonna catch up with you and you're gonna start all over again. So it's not something to be like overly concerned about, but it's also not something to ignore totally.

SPEAKER_02 8:22

Now, you know, money definitely does wreak some de some real deep emotions. But I guess to kind of keep it light, retail therapy. That's one I hear in my sessions all the time in terms of financial counseling. How big of a role are your emotions when it comes to handling finances?

SPEAKER_01 8:39

Huge. And we don't want to make permanent decisions based on feelings that are not facts, but emotionally, I know you say it's Friday, I got paid, this is what I want to do, I'm gonna go shopping. That also needs to have a plan too. And I and I don't care if you can do it consistently all the time right now, but you need to be thinking of the money spending as a reward, not necessarily something that I have to do just because I went to work or just because I know it's gonna make me feel better. Because once you do that, if you have a negative response to spending, then once that new outfit is gone, that event is gone, you have to suffer in silence based on the decision that you made. So we want to be careful, and if it's something that you feel like you want to do or have to do, just plan it out accordingly. Like you can even start saving now for that. But I don't believe that retail therapy is the same today as it was a couple of years ago. Like that's that's a real issue.

SPEAKER_02 9:30

Yes, it is, and I hear it so often, and you know, we we like to joke about it, but you know, we always look at how does that actually show up in your budget, right?

SPEAKER_01 9:39

Yeah, you know, or show up in your mind, show up in your family, show up in the responses. So you had a great time last month. Now you can't go anywhere. You don't want to talk to anybody because you are in a deficit. So the emotional deficit, financial deficit, just always look at it like it's gonna cost you something at some point. Think about how much it costs emotionally, physically, and now you have to look at how much it costs you financially as well.

SPEAKER_02 10:00

You know, in a perfect world, we make that plan, we have that budget, and we know what our numbers are. And then we turn on the computer and there's Amazon, or we go into the mall, and then there's that little thing called impulsive shopping. What are some strategies that may help us, you know, eliminate that impulsive shopping urge?

SPEAKER_01 10:20

Okay, they're not gonna like this, but Amazon is not always your friend. And Amazon will give you things that you feel like, oh, I I just want that. Focus on the needs first. We really have to go back to the bases and then think about things that you feel like you desire. So it's not like whatever I desire, I deserve. If the Amazon app is causing the problem, delete the app and really try to focus on when you can do those things. We have so many opportunities to spend, but there's not a lot of things to not a lot of um apps to help you save unless your focus is not that. So I don't know if that's going to be something that's gonna be beneficial unless you run a very strict program. Like you're saying, I'm gonna buy this now, but I'm gonna make up for it by working or something is another plan is in place. But once that money is gone, that pocket belongs to something. Once it's gone, you're not getting it back.

SPEAKER_02 11:08

Yeah, that that that's one of those terrible things. Like I said, impulsive shopping happens all the time. And with the technology that we have today, it makes it so easy. I heard somebody say today, oh, I don't even, it's not even about carrying my cards anymore because she was like, I'm gonna give you my credit card, so I'm gonna spend them. But then they realize all of their numbers, all of their banking or spending tools are on their phones. And so society and technology has made it so easy.

Limiting Economic News Stress

SPEAKER_01 11:36

And I just bought a magic wand, and you can put your card in it, and then when I go to the store, I just it's like Apple Pay, you just pop it on the thing. And then so my son is like, is your card in there? And I'm like, Yes, but it's a magic wand, but the magic is not, the money is not magically appearing. So I also you have to think about that. That's fun too, but you have to know how much that you can do. Like, you know, I want people to be able to live, but making sure that they're living today and thinking about what it's going to cost you tomorrow. So I can just go around Bad Rooch, swiping that little card and not even thinking about what it looks like. So some of those things are good for you, but you just have to have a balance and know what you can handle.

SPEAKER_02 12:11

And you, you know, you kind of started off talking about the economy, and sometimes people feel a little paralyzed in order, what should I do with the money? Because we don't know what tomorrow brings. What would you say to those individuals in terms of how can they keep the stress down when the news and the social media is constantly pouring in negative information about the economy?

SPEAKER_01 12:32

I I will say be aware, but if you feel like that information is too much for you to handle, if it's causing a negative emotional response, then you have to pull away. Some people want to be so aware, but they don't have the choose to do anything about it. So they're watching it, they're looking at the numbers, the stocks, all of that's going up, but it's really affecting them because if that is not going your way that day, it can kind of create a negative impact. So if you feel like that's something you're in and you can handle it, continue it. If it's causing more stress for you, you need to resist it or get out of it.

SPEAKER_02 13:00

So, what is something, what is one thing somebody can do today, a behavior they can pick up that can start reducing the any stress that they may feel?

SPEAKER_01 13:08

Getting control of the money, knowing the numbers, like you always say. And I love the savings challenges that people have going on right now. That's good, but you don't have to feel like, oh, I had I don't have the emergency fund, I don't have the huge savings. You can do like the$5, the$10, whatever your budget allows, but something that makes you feel like you're still empowered when it comes to the money or you're still aware and able to make sound decisions instead of being caught off guard if you don't have enough savings. So just start somewhere, even if you have to start small, and over time you can pick that up as you go and as your money grows.

SPEAKER_02 13:39

Oh, yeah. I always say progress over perfection. Sometimes we set those goals and we're so focused on what we can and can't do. But if we're just making progress, just before you feel good about that.

SPEAKER_01 13:49

You do, you really can reward yourself as a real check that off. And then at the end of the three months, then I can go do this. But it still has to kind of balance each other out.

SPEAKER_02 14:00

And then how big a role are finances in terms of relationships?

SPEAKER_01 14:04

Huge. Did you know that there was something called financial infidelity? Talk about that. When I say that, they're like, oh, well, I I know that we live in a society where trust is hard. And so people are trying to keep things on the side just in case this relationship doesn't go the way it needs to be. The left hand doesn't let the right hand know what it's doing. And then when it comes out, it's not always good. So I think if that's the case, that the partners need to have a conversation. But I'm not gonna go there because it's not about couples therapy. But one thing that I will say is that I do believe that one partner is smarter and able to make better decisions with the money than the other. It does not have to be the woman because she's the woman, it can also be the male, but I believe it's a joint effort. If you don't discuss these things, that's where the issues come. Well, I didn't know that we were two months behind in this bill because you didn't share it. So you have to have a conversation. That's where that check-in comes from. So people are hiding money. They're also trying to make sure that they don't stress each other out, trying to avoid that conversation. And in the end, that conversation hits you even harder than before. So trust your partner, be able to talk about the hard things, and then get ready for the challenges that are going to come up next.

When To Get Professional Help

SPEAKER_02 15:10

So, what are some signs? Since again, we're talking this is mental health months. What are some signs that we can recognize in ourselves that says maybe it's time for me to get some professional help?

SPEAKER_01 15:20

The overall uh functioning of life has altered in some kind of way. So whether that person is not talking as much, they're not showing up to certain things, they have a decline, they're withdrawing. This is if the other partner is in the home and watching that with you. But I think it's important that we recognize our own behaviors. So some people like to journal. This is what I'm feeling today. These are the things that are causing that stress for me. But if you don't keep up with what you're feeling on a day-to-day basis or even checking in with yourself, you'd have no idea where it could be coming from. So we are saying that it's money. I think that is the root, but there may be other things as it relates to the money. You have to overspend because something else. I'm actually depressed. So I feel like when I go out and buy things, it makes me feel better. Those are two things. So once you recognize that change in you and it affects how you respond to yourself and others, immediately do something about it. And I know that it's not just about seeking help with a professional. Maybe there's guidance in somebody in your family that you trust. But all the time ignoring it is not going to help. We just have to find someone that can help you. It can also be the financial advisor at the bank, but you have to have developed some trust with someone where you're opening up about these things. Because sometimes it's hard to go talk to a therapist about that. They feel like they don't really know what to do with my own finances. Um, but talk about it with someone in your home. If you can't do that, someone that's close to you that can give you some guidance.

SPEAKER_02 16:41

And that's definitely why we have the blueprint for financial success. Yeah. So our members can come in and have that conversation, judgment-free, guilt-free, shame free, so that we can help you develop a plan or help you figure out what you need so that you can reach financial stability and definitely not have that financial stress. A burden.

SPEAKER_01 17:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:03

Month after month. Month after month after month.

SPEAKER_01 17:06

Well, any final thoughts? The final thought is just to make sure that you are steward of your finances. And I learned this a long time ago. You have to treat the money like people. So every pocket has someplace to go and don't cheat the other person. So if you say this pocket of money goes here, you have to make sure that you're consistently doing that. If you stop doing that, you're going to get off the plan. Review the plan constantly, but not too much where it's taking away from life changes and challenges that you may have. If you feel like you can handle it, do it. But develop the plan, whether it's small. And once you get to the plan, make sure that you do that with fidelity. That's the best advice I can do.

SPEAKER_02 17:41

Well, Myesha, thank you again for stopping by. Again, a very important topic that impacts everybody, money and emotions. So hopefully this will help some of our listeners.

SPEAKER_01 17:51

For the month of May. Yes. Thank you so much.

Blueprint Building Blocks And Next Steps

SPEAKER_00 17:54

It's time for blueprint building blocks. Small changes that lead to big financial wins. Let's stack up for success.

SPEAKER_02 18:04

One thing to help your mental health is to know your numbers and just don't avoid them. Create a simple spending plan and then build even a small cushion. Because remember, it's always about progress and not perfection. Pause before emotional spending and then take one step this week toward control. And if you're ready to take that step, schedule a financial wellness checkup. We're here to help.

SPEAKER_00 18:28

That's a wrap on today's Blueprint Building Blocks. Stay on track with your financial journey. Subscribe to the Money Matters Podcast, and visit neighborsfcu.org slash financial wellness for more tools to help you build a strong financial future.