From Overdosed to Multimillionaire

Ryan Zofay's story of transformation from addiction to spiritual abundance is nothing short of miraculous. After losing his sister at age five and being introduced to drugs by his mother at eleven, Ryan spiraled into a destructive path that included multiple felonies and culminated in a near-fatal car accident. That crash became his sobriety date—October 9, 2001—and marked the beginning of his remarkable journey to healing.

What sets Ryan apart isn't just his 24 years of sobriety or his business success, but the profound spiritual consciousness he operates from. While the 12-step program provided a foundation, Ryan found he needed to go deeper to heal his childhood trauma. Through thousands of hours of experiential therapy, he learned that conceptualizing healing isn't enough—you must actually feel the emotions to release them. "In order to truly heal it, you have to feel it," he explains.

Ryan's approach to manifestation is revolutionary. Rather than simply visualizing what he wants, he embodies his future self now, making decisions from that place of abundance. By generating the emotional state of already having achieved his goals, he collapses time and space, bringing those realities into his present experience more quickly. His daily hour-long meditation practice maintains his connection to what he calls God or universal energy, allowing him to stay present and experience divine presence everywhere.

Perhaps most powerful is Ryan's perspective on taking full responsibility: "All the things I don't like in my life, I created them. All the things I do like in my life, I created them." This mindset eliminates victimhood and places the power of change directly in our hands. Through his teaching that "our past perceived voids create our future perceived values," Ryan offers profound insight into why we get stuck in patterns and how we can break free.

Today, Ryan dedicates himself to helping others through speaking engagements, experiential workshops, and treatment programs. Whether you're struggling with addiction, processing grief, or simply seeking to manifest your dreams, his story reminds us that transformation is always possible when we combine spiritual connection with committed action. Follow Ryan @ryanzofay to learn more about his upcoming events and work.

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Ryan Zofay
• 5:20 Dealing with Loss and Grief
• 12:18 Forgiveness and Taking Full Responsibility
• 19:45 Recovery Journey and Beyond AA
• 38:35 Manifesting Your Future Self Now
• 1:08:03 Ryan's Mission and Current Work

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome back everybody to the truth about addiction. Today's guest is one magnificent man. I was introduced to him by a mutual friend, and he and I are doing very similar work in the world. He's based out of Florida and I can't wait for you to hear this, because the level of consciousness this man is operating from is truly something to strive for. I pride myself on the level of spiritual work I have done and continue to do, and I think he's several steps ahead of me. So, honestly, I got as much out of interviewing him as I think you guys will get out of listening.

Speaker 1: 0:56

Ryan Zofay is the author of An Unlikely Businessman, from Overdosed to Multimillionaire, a top-selling Amazon personal development book. His life story is thrilling and inspirational, covering his tumultuous childhood and his success as an entrepreneur. Whether you aim to kickstart a new chapter in life, achieve clarity or grow as an aspiring entrepreneur, this book can guide you. It's packed with fundamental strategies and the unfiltered truth about creating a thriving, balanced life. I'm just going to leave it at that and let you guys jump right in. Please follow the podcast if you're getting something out of it. Please follow the podcast if you're getting something out of it. Share this one with a friend if you think it will help and leave a review and a comment. I love to know who's listening. I'll see you guys on the other side to the truth about addiction.

Speaker 1: 2:26

I'm not going to lie. I am fangirling hard because a mutual friend actually, whose episode I just released recently, alex Smith, put me in touch with the man who's on the podcast today, who I feel like God placed in my life, and if you know anything about my story, the fact that I can say that so confidently says so much about the rewiring process that's happened and that you too can decondition yourself from any limiting belief that culture has placed upon you. Family trauma, upbringing I used to hear the word God and recoil. I really thought it meant you're a weak, insufferable fool If you say that word, let alone believe in that word. And here I am really truly in my bones believing that God, universe, source, spirit, whatever you want to call it has placed you, ryan, here to speak to not just me but to my audience. So, ryan, hi.

Speaker 2: 3:53

Thank you for the introduction, Dr Hart Ryan.

Speaker 1: 3:55

Zofay Yep, Zofay Czechoslovakian.

Speaker 2: 4:05

Ryan, where are you from? Originally South Florida. So I grew up in Boynton Beach, florida, and I am honored to be on your show and grateful to share time with you. Alex did not prepare me for this, but she said that we have a very similar backstory, and just hearing you with that introduction got me excited, because I applied a lot of things that you've just mentioned in my life, and so thank you for that.

Speaker 1: 4:33

Yeah, you're so welcome. I was reading up on you and, by the way, your website is extraordinary. I mean, it's really really so well done. I feel like I want to jump inside of it and meet you as a result of looking at it, and we do have quite a few things in common. One thing, though the circumstances are different the loss is the same, which is about our sister, our sisters.

Speaker 2: 5:12

You lost your sister yeah yeah you and it's not really up to me when that day comes. And the only time I've ever been in conflict with death is when I think it should have happened a different time, or I don't think it should have happened when it did happen.

Speaker 2: 5:47

And that would be me playing God, so that's not up to me. I cherish my time more now because I've had a lot of loss and I believe we go through things as humans so that we can enhance and improve our experience here on earth. By the way, that is a learned behavior today.

Speaker 2: 6:11

I have reconditioned myself to look at it from that perspective, and so I can say that I'm grateful that I had the time that I did with my sister and had the opportunity to experience the loss and create the life that I have today, because having her leave earth has given me so much power, so much fulfillment and has put me on purpose, and so I'm grateful for her and grateful for that experience.

Speaker 1: 6:44

I can relate to that and I agree, especially for the person listening who's grieving For me. There was a period of time where that mindset was unimaginable really, and now I'm, three years out from the loss, it still feels really fresh, and I used to have a belief around people that passed away, because I have lost in my story too lots of it, that being sort of the most recent and arguably the biggest loss, that if I got down with the idea that things happen for a reason, then I was defaulting to one of my earliest coping mechanisms, which was to control the world around me, the narrative, the way that things were so I could live inside of a neat and orderly world because everything was so scary and unstable otherwise. And so then if I believed that, for example, my sister died for a reason, then wasn't I just trying to make sense of something that makes no sense at all? Only recently am I totally dismantling that belief system because it's so limiting, so limiting If I look at her death as unfair and untimely, that it shouldn't have happened, and that by me saying it should have the way that it did, I'm just trying to take control back. The only place to go is down. It shrinks my vessel to think that way Instead of maybe it was her soul's time to go and maybe her soul's correction couldn't happen here in this lifetime, and that I will carry her legacy forward and that her death gives me permission to fully live and has set me out on the path that I'm on today, which is much like you to speak on stages to impact people at the deepest level, to save lives, to leave a legacy, to break the cycle of generational trauma in my lineage once and for all.

Speaker 1: 9:31

I don't know that I would have gone on this path. I was pretty comfortable where I was running a private practice in Santa Monica treating the body as a PT. I was pretty comfortable and my sober life was separate. And now I recover out loud and it's cool to speak to somebody who has time away from the grief and who has worked very hard to have the mindset that you have, because I know what that takes. I mean, everything you and I have done takes a constant willingness and curiosity to go. Is this belief system serving me at the highest level? Yes or no?

Speaker 2: 10:17

Right, and what I've found is these experiences that we go through are embedded in our nervous system and, depending on what we go through in life, those memories get triggered. And there are definitely times when I experience abandonment, I experience anger, and I relive those moments when I lost my sister or when the moment that my mom introduced the fact that she's no longer gonna be here. And so what I have found on this journey of healing is this new idea that it's okay to experience sadness, it's okay to experience anger, it's okay to experience sadness, it's okay to experience anger, it's okay to experience anxiety, frustration, because when I'm in conflict with how I'm feeling, that's when it's an issue. So often as humans from my experience we try to run from feelings, certain feelings, and that's essentially what it all boils down to. The end result of life is the emotional state that we're living in, and so I've been able to really be present in those emotions.

Speaker 2: 11:32

When they come up, when I'm triggered and I'm feeling them, I just feel the feelings, and if I allow myself to feel them and I don't run from them or try to avoid them or try to escape from them, they come up, I feel them, I cry, I get angry and then they move, they move through, you know, and I found that in order to truly heal it, you have to feel it, and so that was something that I had to learn along the way, because for so long I tried to run from those feelings. I tried to run from, from, from, from, from when I got triggered and that stuff would come up, and so now it's really just being so present in the moment when they present themselves, and it allows me to experience much more of life.

Speaker 1: 12:18

So let's unpack that a little bit, because when's your sobriety date?

Speaker 2: 12:23

bit, because when's your sobriety date? So October 9th 2001. So this October I'll have 24 years.

Speaker 1: 12:35

Damn, I know, I know it's pretty cool, that's my claim to fame is my sobriety. I mean, you're young, that's a long time. You know I'm 16 years sober and I know you know, gosh, the lifetimes in sobriety of peeling back the layers of the onion are its own podcast episode, and so we speak from a place of real mindfulness and healing. But man, that takes work. And when I think about your perspective on your sister, and when you lost her, there was still a gap of time before you got sober. Yeah, there was still a gap of time before you got sober. Yeah, so what were you running on at the time? Obviously, you had feelings that were sort of impossible to navigate and you were numbing them with substance. Did you have a God consciousness during your active addiction? Did you have a God consciousness during your active addiction? Did it take recovery to start finding God and healing?

Speaker 2: 14:01

and being able to sit with yourself Like what did? What did your relationship with God look like before you got sober? Let's start with that. Sure. So my sister passed away when I was five. So from five to 16, I was just on a complete, relentless, not giving an F pursuit to life. I just didn't care. I was reckless, I didn't care if I lived or died, I had no filter. There was just no filter for me. I was introduced to drugs when I was 11 by my mom, and so from 11 to 16 is when, like my hard drug use started and I really, looking back now, just wanted their attention and I found by the more reckless and the more chaotic I was, the more attention I got from them and so that was just my path to pursue their attention and to get their love and their validation, and all those things.

Speaker 2: 14:56

I remembered leaving my friend's house, jonathan, when I was 16. I just turned 16. And I remember him like crying and begging me to stop and I literally remember saying to him I was like, dude, I'm, I don't care, this is my path, like if, if, if, if I'm, if it's meant to be that I die, it's meant to be. And he was like begging me because I was just on this reckless path.

Speaker 2: 15:22

I just got out of jail I did two years. I had like 21 felonies as a kid and then it just progressively got worse. And that's when I got in my automobile accident, october 8th 2001. And I woke up at the scene. They trauma hawked me to Delray Medical Center. I actually survived that crash but I was pronounced dead. And they trauma hawked me. And that's when my sobriety date starts, october 9th 2001. And so I was just. I had no idea what I was doing. I was just on this, this reckless path of just destruction.

Speaker 1: 15:58

What was the concept of God or religion in your home growing up, if any?

Speaker 2: 16:03

Yeah. So I'm grateful because my dad really didn't believe in God too much because he blamed God for losing his daughter and my sister. My mom wasn't really around as much because she was using and she was in pursuit to, you know, numb up the way she was feeling. But that friend Jonathan, actually his parents, they would introduce me to like church groups and they would. They would always bring me to church as much as they possibly could. So I was just exposed to it and then I did, two years from, I think, third grade and fourth grade.

Speaker 2: 16:39

I was in a private school and so just being around that environment, that was my exposure to God and the Bible and everything. I didn't really know any difference, I just knew what they told me. But I just always had this like vision, this dreamy type mentality where I would just always envision, you know, some sort of protection or some sort of light or something bigger than me. That was always there and I know today, looking back, that was my sister, my guardian angel. I know that today, at the time I didn't know that, but I don't know. It's interesting. I just feel like it was always easy for me to adopt something, because I had to imagine something, because my current environment was completely a mess.

Speaker 2: 17:26

So the only way I could really feel safe or fit in was just like imagine things. So I was always imagining different things and that brought me safety, if that makes sense.

Speaker 1: 17:38

No, it does. I think this is so fascinating because I have one of those stories where you know, I was taught not to believe in God. I was taught there's no such thing and the only person you can count on is yourself. And so, by the time I overdosed on cocaine and got brought to a 12 step room, I was like fuck you people and fuck God. No, thank you. And so I have. I have a story of such utter desperation, even in recovery, five years sober in a marital crisis, just continuing to rely on outside things to make me okay, that it's a miracle I didn't relapse and die in recovery before I hit bottom and finally, finally, was able to clear away the shame that I was carrying with me. And I don't know what your, what your experience is in 12 step rooms, if you went to them.

Speaker 2: 18:37

Yeah, no, I'm. I'm very active in 12 step. I'll tell you this my first 12 years. I would not recommend anybody taking the path I took. I mean I did everything wrong except pick up. I never used, but I was masking my addiction in other areas gambling relationships, anger, fighting money, I mean, you name it I was in pursuit of it. I would say the last 11 years, 12 years of my life, is really when I started digging in and doing the work. Aa wasn't enough for me. I needed more than just what AA provided. I needed to go deeper and understand, like the trauma behind the cause of why I was doing the things that I was doing.

Speaker 1: 19:23

So yeah.

Speaker 2: 19:25

I did not follow the rules of recovery. My sponsor was actually incredible. So the first five years of AA I was like the poster child of AA. I was thriving in recovery, helping everybody. And then my sponsor moved away. My mom relapsed, my dad was diagnosed with cancer, all my childhood trauma was relived, and then I just was about out of health for the next five years.

Speaker 1: 19:52

So I'm so glad we're talking about this, because I was face down in a marital crisis at five years sober and I hadn't been getting down with God. I had been sort of half working the steps because of that. So I had done some of the work but never went to 90 meetings in 90 days. I mean, I never called my sponsor every day, I just I didn't have great habits and I still was relying very much on external validation to make me feel loved and worthy, and only when the marriage, which was the last thing I was holding onto, because my husband's love for me I didn't know at the time was my higher power. It was the only thing that was making me okay. Because this was the guy I cheated on in my active addiction who ended up staying with me anyway, marrying me, and I was so lucky that he didn't leave me. And then he pulls away in every possible way. A person can pull away financially, emotionally, physically and I just come undone in recovery. And if it wasn't for my first sponsor relapsing and committing suicide at year one, I probably would have relapsed and died in this period because I just had nothing on the inside. But this woman came into my life at the time when I was primed for change. Right, because rock bottom is when you don't want to die but you can no longer go on living the way you've been living. And I didn't get to that place with my cocaine overdose. I only got to that place in my marital crisis. And she said what if we do the steps on your marriage? And all of a sudden we're repurposing the language around the situation I'm in and I'm able to see how I'm exerting power over people, places, things and situations, and not just drugs and alcohol. I'm starting to see that this is a theme in my entire life, that, oh, I had a deeply unstable childhood, that I loved a highly controlled world. I'm starting to realize that the way I speak to myself is filled with disdain and ridicule and that this woman, five years sober at the ninth step, looked at me and said have you ever made an amends to yourself? And I hadn't. And that was a dire necessity. And I bring this up because this is the time in my recovery when my whole life changed. My whole life changed and I was also getting heavily into personal development and outside spiritual literature and coaching and sort of really widening the lens on what it means to be emotionally sober and recovered.

Speaker 1: 22:43

But the book I wrote, which came out last year, literally is a modern reinterpretation of the 12 steps, for the very reason that you just said, which is they're so great in their ideology. The universal messaging and the spiritual principles inside of them are there, but they're antiquated and they're not getting to the root of addiction, which is often untreated. Shame. And if we don't find a way in recovery, whatever the path is, whatever your path is, to have a combination of compassionate curiosity about why we're doing what we're doing and radical responsibility for moving forward in a new way, we're in trouble. And here I was five years, sober, just self-lacerating to death.

Speaker 1: 23:51

Every time I would be like I swear to God he's cheating on me. This doesn't make sense. This doesn't make. It was overridden by this is what you fucking get for what you did, sam right, shame, guilt, regret. Sam right, shame, guilt, regret. And so to your point, right, I think. I think, when we focus on anything we're trying to recover from, on the symptoms, oh, you're being so selfish. Look at you just getting that instant gratification, that quick fix the money, the sex, the cars, the instead of. What are you running from? What have you not forgiven yourself from?

Speaker 2: 24:44

Sure, you know, it's interesting. I've, I've, I've just recently, over the past couple of, just really landed at a place where, when I look back at all the acting out behaviors or the pursuit of something external, what I found is that there was a need that I was pursuing at the core, was a need that I was pursuing at the core. And see, the formative years of one's life is when the model of their world is being developed. But what's interesting about this is that during that time there's no logic, there's no reason. Your brain's not developed and so the only thing that happens is that you feel these sensations, and healthy attachment, healthy attunement is the requirement of the caretaker.

Speaker 2: 25:35

And when you don't have healthy attachment or healthy attunement, we start to adopt these sensations. And we start to adopt these feelings. And the older we get and those sensations are triggered, we start to adopt these beliefs, we start to have these thoughts and those thoughts just relive over and over and over again. And when we start to tell ourselves that I'm not good enough, or I'm not lovable, or she doesn't love me, or mom doesn't love me because she worked too much or dad was too busy, or they were fighting, whatever was going on during that time, there's these stories that we're telling ourselves, and so then we are in I am personally in pursuit to fulfill that that void, fulfill that, that, that piece that's missing inside of me. I say this thing where our past perceived voids create our future perceived values, and so once you can identify the void that you are in pursuit to fill, which would be a need, then you could identify the cause of why we're doing the thing that we're doing.

Speaker 1: 26:42

Yep, and obviously you've had therapy, and obviously you've had therapy. So take me through some of the needs that weren't being met that you realized only after your childhood trauma was triggered again in recovery, like you're seemingly doing well, but really it's a bandaid over a bullet size wound and now it gets ripped off and you must've had a series of things happen or a big, monumental thing happen in recovery to hit another bottom, to go. Oh my God, this isn't enough. I have to get to the root. What was that? And then what did you start unpacking in therapy about those needs that weren't being met?

Speaker 2: 27:40

Yeah, you know, I have an interesting perspective today, because the only time that I ever thought what I was up to was in conflict was what somebody would tell me. You know, and growing up I grew up very uncommon. I grew up with two teachers that taught me ways that 99% of society would deem inappropriate. Well, today I look at that and I'm like man. Thank God that my parents taught me the lessons that they taught me and they taught me the way that they taught me, because I am an uncommon, supernatural human being that's living a supernatural life, and so it took me a lot of years to get to a place where I was able to shift my belief system, and so getting off of the substances was the first step, because then my mind became clear and the drive to prove myself to my dad actually drove me to a place that I am today. And so when I look back at what quote unquote people would deem as a void, I see it as an incredible lesson, I see it as an incredible teacher for me.

Speaker 2: 28:52

But as I've been on this journey for 23 years of sobriety let's use that as the timeline I've done so many different iterations of trauma work, therapy.

Speaker 2: 29:04

I mean I've always had a therapist for pretty much man. I think I started therapy when I was like 18. So I mean pretty much 20 years of my sobriety, I've seen a therapist on a weekly basis. 2016 is really when I started diving in and doing like deep course room work, experiential therapy, reliving those traumatic experiences, rewiring those stories, those traumatic experiences, rewiring those stories and I've done about over I've probably done over 10,000 hours at this point of like actual course room work, where I'm either a participant or now I teach, where I take people through those experiences and I help them rewire. I help them feel the feelings and express themselves and allow themselves to be uncommon or supernatural, and so I couldn't point to like one specific thing that got me here. I think it's a combination of just the relentless pursuit to want to find out more about myself and you mentioned something earlier about forgiving yourself and I think that is so interesting because I've I put myself last so long in my life.

Speaker 2: 30:15

I have had compassion for Ryan, the easier it was for me to see that love and compassion in you. And that was kind of like the tipping point for me was I realized that, like how I feel about myself, how I view myself, is how I view and feel about the world, feel about myself, how I view myself, is how I view and feel about the world, and so that was a big lesson for me that I feel like I just recently discovered over the last like three years.

Speaker 1: 30:56

Hmm, yeah, I almost feel like if I had to reduce down and the most important thing that's happened to me in my sober experience, it would literally be the moment that this woman gave me permission to make an amends to myself. Cause I really don't know, if it hadn't been at that unique moment, with someone who had more time than me, who had killed somebody in a car wreck in her addiction and seemed full of joy, if she hadn't said you know, you're allowed to let yourself off the hook, you're allowed to love yourself through your mistakes, I don't even know where I would be right now. Honestly, and the reason it was such a miracle, and the reason it was such a miracle there's levels of why but at that particular time, my intuition was trying to talk to me and say you know, this isn't adding up. This guy yes, you hurt him, but that was a long time ago. You've been sober for a while now. You guys are married. He stayed with you. He's a grown up, he made that choice. This isn't adding up, but it didn't matter what she said, because the shame was so much bigger than the intuitive voice, and so when the woman gave me permission, that meant I had to turn the dial up on my consciousness about how I was speaking to myself.

Speaker 1: 32:31

So, really, from that moment on, for the next several days, weeks, months, this was such a such a dark period in sobriety. I had been sleeping on people's couches for about eight months before signing a lease in this separation and really hitting bottom and doing the work with this woman. And I would wake up every day not knowing what was happening to my life or to my marriage and trying to be okay on the outside as a new doctor of physical therapy broke broke, broke in tons of student debt, and I would hear my critical voice show up and I would go okay, here you are again. I hear you. I know you're trying to protect me. You've been doing that my whole life, but you're hurting me now. What once used to help me is now hurting me, and if I want to be a person who loves and forgives herself through her biggest mistakes, I can't speak to myself this way anymore. And then I had to dream up a new way, like what would I say instead? And it had to feel resonant, which is also why sort of random positive affirmations don't really stick the way that dreaming something up that in your nervous system feels safe to you, that you can buy into, does, and I started to picture what else I might say and then I started to practice saying it and it was just a constant loop of interrupting this cycle and then coming up with a new way and saying it and doubling down and reinforcing it Right, so literally creating new feedback loops. And what happened in the process was that I could hear the roar really of my intuition and it became the guidepost for my life and has been that ever since.

Speaker 1: 34:24

So for 11 years, that's the part of me that sits in the seat of CEO. All the other little parts of me have a seat at the table, because I'm not trying to suppress them, I don't want to shut them up or cut them off or ignore them or compartmentalize them, because then I'll just find a new way to be engaging in an addictive pattern. Because I don't want to feel it or I don't want to hear what they have to say, I let them sit there. I let them say why they're disgruntled, why they're afraid, why they're angry, and then I say I hear you, I love you, I've got you, I'm going to help you through this, I'm going to figure it out, me, capital S, sam right the, my highest self, my most intuitive self. So I didn't find out who God was until I made an amends to myself and in my book and in my work. In the world. That's like one of the most important things.

Speaker 1: 35:31

And to your point, after I did all this work, I ended up moving back in with my husband. Things seemed like they were much better and I thought, well, of course I just did all the healing work that I haven't been doing, like, of course it would get better. And it turns out he was having an affair and until I moved back in I didn't find out. It took another three weeks and I found out he was having a five-year extramarital affair with the same woman. That started before I got sober and that bled into our marriage.

Speaker 1: 36:12

Why do I say that? Because I was so sure I was done. I mean I had fought the good fight for a couple of years, really, really to try to make it work. And once I found that out, the validation of like I knew it, fuck you. You know, I moved out again for the gazillionth time. I filed separation, was preparing for divorce, having tons of sex. You know, just going like God, wherever I end up. At least I know who I am now and I love who I am.

Speaker 1: 36:44

I can finally say that about eight, eight months in my intuition was like are you sure you're done with this man? Like are you fucking kidding me? But I wasn't going to ignore her again. She was my home girl and the long and short of this part of my story is that I wasn't done and I did stay and I fought and I'm not sure I would have ever been able to forgive him if I hadn't done the forgiveness work on myself first. So, yeah, forgiveness. Forgiveness, I almost feel like, is if, if. What we're using over is some need, some some primitive need in our formative years that did not get met, that should have, and we don't feel lovable. If we don't douse ourselves with love, then at some point we're going to be in trouble, even if we're 20 something years, sober Right, and then that sets the stage for the inevitable resentment. When someone else hurts us that's going to show up and will we have the tools to forgive them, whether they're in our lives again or not, so that we can be set free?

Speaker 2: 38:19

Yeah, and it's interesting because what I've found is is it's not so much the experience, it's what I say about the experience, or what I say did happen at the experience of the story we're telling about it, because that's the only thing I'm really in control of is my perception of those experiences, and that's actually where I believe, like true empowerment comes into play and like full responsibility comes into play, that we are the creators of our lives. You know, like all the things that I don't like in my life, I created them. All the things I do like in my life, I created them. All the things I do like in my life, I created them. And as soon as I got to that place of like taking full responsibility and ownership for my life, everything started to change, because most people walking around today they'll take credit for all the things that they like about their life, but they won't take credit for the things that they don't like. And that's where I think a lot of healing can take place is that you're the creator of both.

Speaker 2: 39:18

You know you don't get to pick and choose. If you create a mess, you created it. If you created something good, you created it. And that has just given me so much power because I'm no longer a victim. I'm looking at these situations like why did you create this? And it's so cool because you talked about the parts of us and like really seeing them for what they were intended to be, which was to protect me. Some point, that strategy stopped working. Rather than disassociating from them or exiling them, I, as you said, have them sit at the table and say hey, buddy, thank you, you protected me as long as you needed to, but now there's no need for that anymore. It's not necessary. That's not a necessary strategy. And really just love on that part and and it immediately just disappears that that that desire to to wreck, wreck, havoc, is no longer necessary.

Speaker 1: 40:25

So I want to know if you're still active in AA, but AA had a ceiling in some regards over your personal development and that you needed to seek outside tools. What's something outside of AA that is in your tool belt today that you find invaluable, that you use constantly in terms of personal development?

Speaker 2: 40:58

in terms of personal development. Yeah, yeah, sure, and I so. For me, 12 step recovery is is more like conceptualizing healing. I believe bringing it to an experience and actually feeling the feelings of the healing journey is how we heal, right, I believe? Believe the end product of life is the emotions that we're living in, right? So how you're feeling. So, yes, I can look back and say, hey, I did all these things wrong to all these people. But if I don't actually experience the damage and experience the feelings or emotions, it's only a concept and it's not in my nervous system.

Speaker 2: 41:36

And so, for me, the 12-step program is a great practice. It's about keeping me consistent and it's also keeping recovery on the top of mind. I mean, I do three meetings a week. I do Monday nights, tuesday, and then I do Saturday, 10 am. So that's pretty much my meeting schedule. And it's more about, like, the friendship, the community, the sense of belonging, the, the, the ability to give back and help somebody else, because I can't keep what I have unless I give it away. And I just always remembered when I first got sober. My sponsor says to me he says, ryan, I will introduce these 12 steps to you under one condition, one condition only that you will promise me that you will spend the rest of your life giving this gift to the next person.

Speaker 2: 42:25

And so that's my commitment and I I'm proud that I still practice the lifestyle that I practice today. In terms of outside recovery stuff. I mean I feel meditations is huge, is a huge practice for me.

Speaker 2: 42:42

I've been doing shoot, almost. I've been meditating for about 18 months now. No, sorry, a year, no, about 19 months now. I've been practicing meditation for about 19 months. I'm at an hour a day now. So first thing I wake up, I put on my ear pods, I meditate for an hour.

Speaker 2: 43:02

That really has significantly helped my life, because the mind doesn't know the difference from reality or what's in your head. So I can literally generate an emotional state internally and my body wouldn't know the difference if it's if it's happening or if it's if it's imaginary. So I imagine my future self all the time. I'm imagining what I want to feel like, what is life like, changing and rewiring myself every single day. So meditation is huge. Experiential process is huge. I feel like is, is is massive, because everything is all about experience and the more you can experience your emotions, the freer you are, because most people walk around like in this sandbox of emotions and they're not expressing themselves. And that's a big reason why I speak on stages now, because it's a way for me to like fully express, it's a way for me to just like open up and let everything out.

Speaker 1: 44:04

What's your relationship with God today?

Speaker 2: 44:08

It's incredible. I mean, I'm in such I feel like I'm in partnership with him on a like. I experience him everywhere all the time. When I am avoiding something or when I get triggered and I go back into an old program, I get a little disassociated and I have a little distance. I get a little disassociated and I have a little distance. The thought that something is wrong with me, the thought that I'm not okay, is the issue, and as soon as I can recognize that, which is a practice for me, then God becomes more present, because I think God is everything, everywhere, all the time, and so the more I can be super present and experience all of life in the moment, then I believe God is present, like God's present right now with us. I feel his presence.

Speaker 1: 45:06

I actually heard this incredible podcast recently and in it there was this differentiation between limiting beliefs and competing beliefs. And limiting beliefs I've unpacked for years now right Around worthiness. The competing beliefs idea was new to me, or at least the way it was being presented. For example, let's say you're a super successful entrepreneur and the one part of your life that you really want to be thriving in is relationships. You want a significant other, but you just can't find it. That's the roadblock. Everything else is going well, but that place you just keep circling the drain. So the conscious belief is I want a partner. I want a lifelong partner who's my equal, but then there are competing subconscious beliefs around that desire that are getting in the way of you manifesting that reality. Right, if I get the partner, I'm going to have a lot more stress. If I get the partner, it's the end of my freedom as I know it. If I get the partner, there goes my finances. And so I've unpacked this a lot right In the places that I'm currently stuck or feeling, feeling blocked, and I've been doubling down on prayer in a really specific way and elevating my God consciousness, for example. Right, so there's been financial roadblocks and our family overall does really well. But in me, coming out having had a practice that was successful giving it up when I lost my sister to devote my life to writing a book, speaking on stages, infusing the spiritual side of wellness with the body, and having a more sort of holistic approach to healing is very hard and very scary. Right, it's me starting over in a way, even though I'm Samantha 2.0 and I have all this amazing stuff to offer. I'm in a full-blown rebrand and it hasn't just fallen in my lap. All the gifts of what I have to offer. Right, it takes work and it takes time, and so I've been like what are my competing beliefs around money? And one thing that's really interesting, that came up because I grew up in a house where you know if you, if you had money, you were, you were lucky because we probably didn't, and if it came, you might as well just spend it, because we have no idea when it's coming back again. Right, very, very frivolous, very fleeting. You know money comes and money goes, right. So I'm like, wow. So I want money to flow in effortlessly to me, but I also don't believe that when it's here, it will ever stay Interesting.

Speaker 1: 48:19

So then, what's the prayer. What's the direct conversation with God? To unblock me energetically from that space? Right, and there's been so many, you know. Help me respect and receive the money that is meant for me. Help prepare my spiritual vessel for all the blessings that it's meant to receive, because if I'm not receiving it, that means I'm not prepared yet. Keep preparing me. Help me attract rather than chase. Help me want everything but need nothing. And so I bring this up because you know you, you're heavy into meditation and, and I mean meditation is such a gateway to God, just meditation, right? I mean, if we get into the very basics, you're literally dropping into a parasympathetic nervous system state. So you're in a level of clarity and curiosity and compassion that in normal day-to-day living you just aren't, because you're just going, going, going and you're in your head. You're not really in your heart or your gut, and I always get intuitive downloads from God when I meditate. What's your relationship with prayer?

Speaker 2: 49:48

Yeah, I mean it's interesting. I, you know, I have, I would say, unique to most view of this, because, you know, for me, like prayer is more like actualizing my practice, and so one thing that I love about the 12-step program it says faith without works is dead, and so, you know, I feel like prayer and this is just my view and this was a version of Ryan that I've learned and I've grown through this is I would pray for things, but prayer, in my view, without action, would insinuate that it's not mine or insinuate that it's separate from me. So if you think about it, right, like the last time you worried about feeding yourself, you probably don't think like that, or like showering or getting in your car. Those aren't problems for you because it's you, it's who you are, it's what you are, it's what you know, and so I believe that God is an abundant God and God wants us to everything and God gives us what we're worthy of receiving.

Speaker 2: 51:00

And as soon as I say it's mine, it's mine. You know, there's never been a time in my life when I haven't wanted something bad enough that I didn't get it, and so if I am separate from the thing that I think I want, then I really don't want it or I would have it, and so that's, that's a practice that I've adopted, because you know, for example, I have been, I was engaged. I ended that relationship March 2000,. March 5, 2019. And I had this story that I wanted this relationship and I wanted it for so long, but I would say the last two years I realized that that was just the story I was telling everybody to get the attention and to have a conversation to talk about.

Speaker 2: 51:44

But I really didn't want the relationship, because if I wanted it I would have had it. And so, literally like six weeks ago, I was like you know what, like I'm done with that story. I'm going to have the relationship that I want, and the person appeared and I have the relationship. And it's the same thing with money, it's the same thing with speaking on stages, it's everything. I have enough evidence now to look back and see that there hasn't been anything in my life that I've truly wanted that I don't have.

Speaker 2: 52:14

And so I say that because so many people think that they're separate from the thing that they want. If they really wanted it, it wouldn't be separate from them, because God is everything. God is everywhere, god is abundant and God gives us everything that we're worthy of receiving. Well, we have to do the actions that would represent the worthiness, and so abundance means it's already happened. So the thought that I want something I don't have would insinuate that that person is coming from lack. I don't think of things that I don't want, because then I would generate the feeling of lack. I imagine the things that are already mine and now it's just a matter of the action that I need to take to go get it, and the only thing that's separate from it is space and time. Well, if I can generate the feeling ahead of the experience, then that's going to come to me. It's natural, it's going to happen.

Speaker 2: 53:12

And so you know, dr Joe Dispenza, I teaches me a lot. Of this stuff has been able to actualize a lot of these new ideas and new concepts and new beliefs, and it's absolutely crazy because when I look back over my life so I'll give you an example November 2019, tony Robbins came out on stage 15,000 people. In that moment, I said I'm going to speak on his stage. Well, three years later, I'm in front of 10,000 people speaking on his stage. You know there's so many examples of that that I've actualized in my life, and the only thing that created space and separation from having it sooner or faster was believing I was worthy of having it and experiencing the feelings of it, if that makes sense.

Speaker 1: 54:01

Yeah, no, it does, and I think it's. It's actually a really fun time in the personal development space, because manifestation and the science of manifestation is everywhere now. And you know, I think I think, if I'm capturing what you're saying right there's there's a few levels to this, right? So I talked about limiting and competing beliefs. You talked about sort of your future self and we talked about faith. Faith without works is dead, and so, for the person listening, right, what do you do with all that?

Speaker 1: 54:34

Well, number one, if, if you have feelings around wanting something but you don't believe you're worthy of it, that is at the very heart of what needs to get healed, and there's all kinds of resources for that, and we were sort of touching on some of that like self-forgiveness, having coaches and people who can safely take you through that kind of a process, and it is a process and a practice, right.

Speaker 1: 54:58

So if you believe you're worthy, if there's anything else in your subconscious that's getting in the way of achieving that goal, that has to get smashed too, that has to be brought to the surface.

Speaker 1: 55:11

To go, for example, with me, right, oh, if I believe money is going to leave as soon as it comes, well then I have to reverse engineer that belief and I have to look for money everywhere and look for the blessing and the gift and thank the money and go out into the world as if I'm capable of earning and retaining and keeping every single bit of it right. So I have to reverse engineer the competing belief, since I now feel worthy and picture myself financially abundant and go out in the world and behave as if I have all the things I already have and take every single actionable step in the direction of those dreams of my future self that I know are already real, because my body believes it, because my mind told it so and it can't tell the difference between what I'm thinking and what's reality. And then we collapse time and space and we make it happen, right? Is that kind of what we're saying, ryan?

Speaker 2: 56:07

I love that and so I'll just add this piece. So actually I do this in my seminar and it's pretty cool because it like really brings the experience forward. So like right now, like imagine if I wired you a million dollars. It hit your bank account. You looked at your phone, you're like, oh my god, the million dollars just hit. Like feel that feeling. What would that feel? Like think about what life would be like then. All of a sudden, you have a level of access that you didn't have prior to that segment. Now you're like holy shit.

Speaker 2: 56:42

And then I say, what would you do different with the million dollars in your bank account? All of a sudden, you have a different level of access and you're like, well, shit, I guess I would do that, I guess I wouldn't worry about that anymore. I guess I wouldn't consider that anymore. Oh my God, I would do this, I would do this, I would do this.

Speaker 2: 56:56

You just opened up access, nothing changed, but you would be making a different decision. You would be feeling something different Then from that place, you would get a different outcome. And so that is more or less what I'm saying, but you hit the nail on the head with all the things that you mentioned. It's generating the emotion of your future self now and experiencing that level of access that comes with those new thoughts and experiences and those feelings. So like if I were to walk around in life having it already done, feeling the feelings of it, I would be thinking differently, I would be experiencing life differently, there would be a different level of access where I wouldn't be worrying about anything else because I'm not even thinking about that anymore. I'm feeling it from my future self.

Speaker 1: 57:44

Yep, and so for you is meditation the biggest vehicle to allow you to get into that energy.

Speaker 2: 57:52

You know, I definitely think it's like the foundation of it. What I like to do is, when I have like an aha moment or I experience what I want as my future self, I immediately start to obsess about what that guy would do different than the guy that's sitting here, and so that collapses space and time, and I get to experience what that guy is going to do.

Speaker 2: 58:22

So, most recently, we just completely revamped all of our brand and everything that we're up to Within a matter of two weeks. I feel like I've collapsed like three years of time. I feel like I've experienced something so much faster, so much further. And as soon as I became my future self now, different relationships and opportunities presented themselves, because I was ready to receive it, I was worthy of receiving it, because I was that guy in the future. Now I was experiencing what that guy in the future would experience having completed it, having it going, you know, celebrating it.

Speaker 2: 59:06

And I think that's the piece, and that is something that I can honestly say that I'm so grateful, because, growing up, being left alone for so long, going through so much trauma, I had to imagine I had to use that muscle just to get through life and cope.

Speaker 2: 59:22

And so now, see, knowledge is the precursor to the experience. Now I can look back and I have the knowledge of what the heck I was up to at that time and I just shine more light on that, I give that more energy, I celebrate that more, and now it becomes an actualized practice. And so, yes, like manifestation, all that stuff is great, but I think you can take it even a little bit further, because what I do a year from now has nothing to do with what I'm doing now, but I can experience what I'm going to do a year from now, now, and live that life now. So how much further, how much faster do I want to go is really up to us. And once you understand that you're that powerful and you're truly responsible for that, you literally make life happen.

Speaker 1: 1:00:12

I love that so much, that that practical tip I mean. First of all, how many times a day do most people obsess about things they're afraid of, the things that they're worried might happen or that haven't happened yet? I mean, the obsessive mind is everywhere, all the time and it's usually draining our energy field in the worst way. So the idea that there's sort of a twofold, like there, there's the part of culture where we've lost the ability to imagine period, like we did when we were children. But then if you take that and you extended it and you went, what if I used a five or 10 minute window to imagine my future self and become obsessed with what my future self can do, is doing, is feeling, is saying, is accomplishing, if I'm writing it all down, if I'm getting amazing ideas? And then I had that circuitry lit up neurologically all around the brain body loop and I just walked around in that space, having already thought about the ways that person would be thinking and the people they'd want to be calling and the decisions they'd want to be making. Like if we actually, you know, I think, I think sometimes we think, oh what if you spent, you know, the same amount of time that you're in fear, in faith, in curiosity, in dreaming and imagining and in thinking about the positive outcome, and that's like a level one version of what you're talking about. This is like an absolute different level and it's interesting to think about what would, what would come up as a barrier to entry, like why people would not do that as an exercise, or the resistance that they might feel in imagining all that. But I think that's a really practical tip in a way to bring to life the whole faith.

Speaker 1: 1:02:27

Without works is dead right Because, again, this is like an ancient thing in AA that they say what are we really saying? Well, if you spend time imagining about your future self but you don't actually go all the way in to thinking about the level of decision-making, your future self would be thinking and the belief systems that would be shattered. By taking something as simple as I just got a million dollars wired into my bank account, what am I doing right now as a result of that happening to me? Watch how everything collapses, watch the decisions that you would never make, watch all the decisions that you now want to make, the people you want to see, the things you want to go do and then go out and start doing them. Faith without works is dead. Imagination without action is dead. Right, this is like the 2025 revamp of that phrase in recovery. I really love that.

Speaker 2: 1:03:39

It's so true. And what's interesting is, what I've found is, when I'm incapable of envisioning something, it's probably because my autonomic nervous system is in survival and it's not giving me enough access or enough I'm not feeling safe enough to start to think about that stuff. And so I mean there's, as you said, there's so many ways that we can unpack this, but just from, like the practical sense, like it's. It's really just understanding like what's going on inside, like really what's happening underneath the hood, like what's? Why are you feeling this way? Where is that void coming from? Why? Why are you making decisions from that place and really just create safety so that you can start to envision what life would be like.

Speaker 2: 1:04:25

So meditation definitely allows me to practice that on a regular basis. And it's interesting because you know now that I, if I don't do an app, like very rarely do I miss meditation. I think I've missed maybe like five days in the last 18 months and like I'm literally like I'm like meditating right now, like I'm experiencing you, I'm experiencing my body, I'm experiencing my emotions, I'm experiencing everything around me. So like I'm in a meditative state right now, like I am fully present and aware of what's going on. So the more you practice it, the more present you become, the more access you have, which I believe is the direct partnership with God, because God is everywhere, god is everything, so if I'm experiencing more of what is going on, then that means I'm closer to the experience of God.

Speaker 1: 1:05:13

Yeah, and I I love what you just said about safety Cause it's so important, especially for the, for the people who have had what we've all had trauma. I don't care how you feel about the word, and that's just really the bottom line, whether we like it or not. And in the case of you and I think we've had more obvious capital T trauma and it reminds me of you know when people are like okay, so you, you re-imagine the 12 steps Like what? What does that mean? Give me an example.

Speaker 1: 1:05:40

And I love to talk about the second step right Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. And I think about younger Sam reading that step and just feeling like wait, wait, wait. You want me, who grew up as an atheist, to believe that there's a God with a white beard, obviously in the sky, with a wand, that he's going to just just wave it at me and strike me sane because I'm acting fucking crazy? No, thank you, because I'm acting fucking crazy. No, thank you, it was. I mean, the idea of that was so against everything. I'm not crazy, I have to behave this way. It's what kept me alive and safe as a girl. So fuck you, and now you want me to believe in a God that I was told isn't safe to believe in. Fuck you too, right?

Speaker 1: 1:06:35

So then, what's the modern version of that step, especially borrowing the principles of IFS, right? Internal family systems and these parts of us which I think is so, so helpful in addiction recovery, but really just the recovery of your, your highest self? Can I come to believe that another part of me, besides the part that's showing up right now like the controller or the codependent, can I come to believe that a higher part of me can restore me to safety? Cause that's what we're all dying for? Right, and and then? And then? What does that look like? Right, what are the practical applications?

Speaker 1: 1:07:22

And thank God, there are so many that are so accessible to us, like a big old box breath or a bunch of grounding techniques, right, a lot of somatic therapy and vagal nerve stimulation. There's so many amazing things now that can literally shift our nervous system back to a state of rest and digest, so that we can get back into a God consciousness, which is really what we're talking about If we want to get into the land of manifesting miracles. Really, really cool stuff, Ryan, and I want to know very much. I don't want to take too much more of your time. I want to know what you're working on right now that matters to you.

Speaker 2: 1:08:11

I would say the biggest mission that is exciting to me is just reaching as many people as possible. I really am hot on the trail with building brand, really getting what we do out there to the world. I had a meeting before this podcast with my digital team and we were talking about our new strategy digital team and we were talking about our new strategy and we I think we have like 600 employees. We probably have like 250 licensed professionals and we are going to take real-time case studies and introduce that to the public so that we could show people, through storytelling, what somebody is struggling with, what we did to solve that problem and what their life looks like now. So we can really just bring everybody closer to like who we are, bring everybody to our hearts and allow people to see you know what we're up to.

Speaker 2: 1:09:07

I think that's like my primary focus. That's what I'm most excited about. I love the events. I love speaking on stages. That stuff just fires me up. It really I love it. It's I'm able to access a version of Ryan. That that is is is a God-given gift, and I think that's when God is truly channeling me the most is when I'm when I'm in action doing that.

Speaker 2: 1:09:30

He's using me as a catalyst and so that that is like the most feel-good. So the events I do I think our next event is June 10th and 11th. Let me see, I think it's the Saturday. We do two-day events, so it's it's oh sorry, next event is May 10th and 11th and then June 14th and 15th, and so we do it here in the studio. Um, so that's like what I'm really up to most.

Speaker 1: 1:10:01

How can I help?

Speaker 2: 1:10:04

Well, inviting me on your podcast was definitely something that was really cool. Thank you so much, um I I definitely think we just need to continue to collab and and figure out how we can. We can serve the community more and get out there and do collaborative efforts. And yes, I'm coming out to LA, I think, at the end of May, so I think we should just continue to to explore how we can be helpful. I know that you have a passion and a heart for this and I think you know more of this is is so needed and I think you know more of this is so needed, and I love the fact that you've started your podcast and you're out there in the world sharing a message, and I didn't realize the loss of your sister was so recent, and so my heart goes out to you.

Speaker 1: 1:10:48

And thank you, yeah, yeah, yeah, I love what you're doing. I love what you're doing and no doubt we're going to be sharing stages and I love, I love the recovering out loud movement in general. I love the ability to talk about the value of the 12 steps and every other amazing tool that's now available to people in the personal development space and and I feel you, you are, you are like me, you're embodied, you're the real deal. You know. This is not.

Speaker 1: 1:11:32

This is a place where a lot of people can talk. Well, it's very different and you can feel the difference when you've lived through it and you are embodied, when you've literally dropped and connected your head to your heart and are living, breathing, example of life on the other side of not just addiction, but in a completely different frequency, like there's a, there's a brand new reality available to all of us at any time, and it's not easy, but it is possible, thank God, it is possible and there's no cookie cutter way to get there and I think you're just a beautiful, shiny example of how to get a big, incredible life, no matter what you've gone through.

Speaker 2: 1:12:32

Thank you for that.

Speaker 1: 1:12:33

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 1:12:34

Thank you?

Speaker 1: 1:12:38

Where can people find you, Ryan?

Speaker 2: 1:12:39

The easiest would be social media ryanzofay all of our posts and everything we're up to. We always broadcast it there. That'd be the easiest way. And then obviously come to our events love that's. That's like my playground. I get to experience people in the most vulnerable way and which allows me to be more vulnerable and have more compassion. You know it's interesting. My teacher taught me the way for me to be more impactful and helpful in the world is to experience more compassion and more love for myself, which ultimately transfers to them. And so in that environment I get to be that guy.

Speaker 1: 1:13:24

So it's pretty cool and is information about your event on social media yeah, we, we put a link on there.

Speaker 2: 1:13:33

I think there's a link on there for the next event okay if it's not up there, it'll be up there soon I'm gonna have to come out for one of those definitely jam out. You should bring alex too, because she she mentioned she'd want to come, so oh yeah, maybe we can go together. We're both in cali yeah yeah a lot of hugging, a lot of crying, all the good stuff, oh yeah, no, I I have a tattoo on my back.

Speaker 1: 1:13:57

I didn't get tattoos until I was 37. And now I have a bunch. So do you. And the first one I got says vulnerability is my superpower. Yeah, so I love when a person cries. It's my most favorite thing, right, because I know they're just, they're just getting rid of some dead weight and they're they're cracking open and that's that's it. That's where. That's where life is. Yeah, on the other side of your tears, that's where life is, yeah. Well, thank you so much for your time.

Speaker 2: 1:14:31

Thank you, this has been amazing. I really appreciate you. I love what you're up to and this is just the beginning.

Speaker 1: 1:14:36

Yeah, baby have a great day. You too. Let me end the recording no-transcript.